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American Expressway

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Bellas

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Apr 4, 1991, 6:30:04 AM4/4/91
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You are invited to become a member of the American Expressway, one of the
newest and most innovative road systems in America. There are many advantages
to the American Expressway over the standard tollways, parkways, highways
and freeways but by far the biggest advantage is:

No Preset Speed Limit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Instead your personal speed limit is determined by your vehicle, your personal
resourcefulness and your past speeding patterns. When you enter the expressway
your personal id number is transmitted to Central Control to tabulate your
tolls and record your initial speed (all AE members may travel at 55 with no
restrictions). If you decide to pursue a greater speed then an authorization
will be sent to Central Control and our highly specialized, non deterministic
and little understood AI algorithm will decide if you are approved for your
new speed. If you are not then a Service Technician (formally known as a
State Trooper) may stop you to ask a few questions to verify that you were
capable of handling your new limit (Do you increase throttle to induce
oversteer in a decreasing radius turn?), that you have adequate resources
(Is that a Crosley Wombat V16?) and that you are not too far out of your
previous speeding pattern (Have you ever driven at 180 mph before?).


Membership has it's Privileges


To apply for membership call 1 800 HAUL ASS


--
* Pete Bellas
* Citicorp/TTI
* Santa Monica, CA
--
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