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Every time you use context, God kills a kitten [long]

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Leah L. Cole

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 12:58:29 PM11/11/02
to
As soon as I walked in to the Alistairial, I had two quote books
thrust into my hands. Apparently people don't wait for me to arrive
to start saying silly stuff.

At some later point, the dueling quote books were unified by my hand
into a beautiful not-so-blank book that Maggie is using to record
consecutive socials. Here follow the quotes, as typed in by someone
(probably Alistair?) from Maggie's book after I left. He and I
decided that we should go ahead and post the quotes as he typed them.
Attributions to follow when she staggers out of her Darkfriend-
induced haze.

I know that various other quotes have been generated in DC, but I'll
leave it to Zeynep to post those. :-)

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:

1. "The floor is good! Hail the floor!"

2. "The more drunk you get, the more drunk you tend to get, until you
pass the event horizon and it's just drunkenness everywhere."

3. "Beer is drunk. Drunk is happy. Happy is fucked. Fucked is life."

4. All I caught was 'I tend to go soft in moments of stress.'"
"That's 'Scottish!'"

5. "My head is up a flamingo's ass! I think I deserve a soda!"

6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."

7. "There are some things that aren't sanitary between three people."
"Now *that* scares the hell out of me."

8. "Not my ass. Not my ass!"

9. "You can't just sit, you have to wiggle."

10. "It's probably better than Babylon 5 by default."

11. "I have to say that Mike Kozlowski is obviously the smartest and
most attractibve person here."

12. "If you don't know instantly that Mike himself wrote that, you're
an imposter RASFWRJian."

13. "But that was fresh saffron."
"The first time I ever had it, I thought I loved the saffron."
"Because you can use tumeric instead."

14. "You're smiling at me evilly."

15. "Are you writing down every word I say?"

16. "They're taking the quote book to a whole new level."

17. "Damn, Mike is awesome."

18. "There's a lot of crotch there."

19. "Some sort of porno Pooh."

20. "No, I'm not wrong, I'm drunk."

21. "Because a stone's bigger than that."

22. "Today's word is 'wow'."

23. "Especially when they're indulged."

24. "I was younger and wiser then."

25. "You might as well drink the proceeds; it would probably taste
better."

26. "There's no alcohol."
"WHAT!?!?"

27. "I wish I'd bought those aerial bacon futures."

28. "You're cute, dammit! Take it like a man!"

29. "HE'S GETTING NAKED!"
[chorus of screaming women]
"Now it's your turn, Alistair!"

30. "It's not that I'm drunk, it's that I'm not *quite* sober."

31. "That means you can write Java in Klingon."

32. "Remember, in Klingon our code does not run, it ATTACKS!"

33. "The grope-iest group of people are gay men and Australians."

34. "Have you ever tried hitch-hiking naked with an axe?"

35. "If you look at the average activity level of an apeshit lawn
chair compared to a regular lawn chair, it's difficult to tell the
difference."

36. "The parking lot was evil!"

37. "Alistair, you're going to have to shut up! I can't keep up with
all the stuff you're saying."

38. "And it should not have a screw top."

39. "Therefore: GOD."

40. "Incoming lead thingy-ide."
"Fucknowside."
"Unobtainium."
"Stuffite."
"Handwavium."

41. "See, that is what I like about medicine - a flat-line EKG cuts
through a lot og bullshit."

42. "And I hope you don't mind Poo(h)."

43. "It's kind of like radioactive lemonade."

44. "That depends on who you give it to."

45. "You're not wearing any pants."

46. "She's an entire Pantheon, baby!"

47. "And we all *love* to write documentation."

48. "This code is written in the dark language of Mordor, which I
shall not utter here."

49. "Sounds like Haggis!"

50. "I really don't want an owl telling me how many times I'm licking
it."

51. "All onions are onions, but some onions are more onion than
others."

52. "Every time you use context, God kills a kitten."

53. "I'm not going to hand someone else a knife and say 'Won't you
please undress me?'"

54. "Unblocking the ass-chi, as it were."

55. "I'm just smarting for a beating this Social."

56. "That's not people, that's Leah."
"HEY!"

57. "Just file it under rug-burns."

58. "You're a nice toy. Don't break my toy!"

59. "You're Alistair 'Jim-Bob' Young."
Editor's note from Alistair: Anyone who uses this in public will be
eviscerated.

60. "It has blend, frappe, and sacrifice."

61. "I didn't even remember that he was here."

62. "Shut the fuck up, bastard!"

63. "You're gonna get nothing but bald spot."

64. "Will I lose my dignity..."
"You already have!"

65. "You ARE castrated!"

66. "Are you trying to explode us?"
"Yes."

67. "But I thought you were going to finish beating on me!"

68. "It's not like you eat a ton of bagel chips and they come along
and circumcize you."

69. "I. was. right. you. bastards!"

70. "You sounded very confident, so I assumed you were basing this on
some sort of knowledge."

71. "Implemented policy goals of head-count reduction."

72. "Oh! Oh! Kenn! We're on a... a... a-a-a... thing!"

73. "Trust Kenn to go for the extra-terrestrial sex."

74. "Goth mom."

75. "Those kind of toys?"
"YEAH!"

76. "I'll have some milk, some eggs, and a double-ended dildo."

77. "They sell everything else there, you should be able to go to
Meijer and buy a dildo."

78. "Go the fuck away, you skinny little bitches!"

79. "Please don't touch me there, Uncle Alistair!"

80. "Caffeine is no substitute for sheep."

81. "I would pimp out my tits for money."

82. (On Amy's tracts of land) "When I first saw that picture, I
thought 'Damn, that's a nice bookstore!'"

83. "Jeff, master of Unix."

84. "Mummy! Therese is going to spank me!"

85. "I can't sit down, I was spanked by a Swedish woman."

86. "They hanged a monkey because they thought it was French."

87. "There will be no sphincter massage!"

88. "So you're that mouse pervert?"

89. "Kenn, you of all people should know at least SOME ass anatomy."

90. "She was telling me about Baby Jesus butt-plugs."
(A brief Google search.)
"It GLOWS IN THE DARK?"

91. "Where else am I going to have sex?"

92. "Zeynep has great taste in girls."

93. "I'm twice the man you'll ever be."

94. "I *like* tentacles!"

95. "I can hear the sound of minds going to the Bad Place."
"And you're smirking!"

96. "I only wear them when I need to see."

97. "It's not constructive bitching."

98. "She thinks I'm Pollyanna-ish."
"Pollyanna? From what world?"

99. "Just getting my practice in."

100. "Cleavage Rodents - three toys in one place!"

101. "Do you think we could get 100 people to vote for rec.cleavage-
rodents?"

102. "People start flinching when I look at them..."

103. "Look! She's got a bra-zoo!"

104. "It's not so much uncomfortable as it is moving towards the
armpits..."

105. "So now they're *migrating*?"

106. "Would you like to play basketball with the badgers now?"

107. "Slamdunk!"

108. "Sex is good now, but software is good forever."

109. "The badger's easing itself."

110. "It's not pink, it's not dancing, and it's not trying to tell me
anything."

111. "It's going to take *months* of flamewars to get my reputation
back!"

112. "I have never heard 'liberal' and 'catholic' used in the same
sentence!"
"I have, I was raised Southern Baptist!"


113. "We generally have to pay royally to get fucked like that."

114. "WHAT is better than fellatio??"

115. "It's aardvark!"
"It's buttfuck!"


116. "This was a really long time ago, when people were really
stupid."

117. "Cleveland is actually quite nice."

118. "It's easy to descend into the chocolate basket, but the
return's a long and arduous path."

119. "You people talk funny."

120. "Maggie, your cat is sitting on my tits!"
"Are you surprised?"
"No, but I can't breathe!"

121. "We have better plugs than anyone!"

122. "Mike is a charming kind of scary."

123. "He has a yummy little tummy."

124. "But it's satanic in a bad way!"

125. "If it'll help, I'll kill someone."

126. "Dear God, we broke another one!"

127. "I've never been quite so thorougly abetted in my life."

128. "If I were a demi-cup, I'd have four breasts - which would be
profitable, I'm sure, but not exactly comfortable."

129. "I'm gonna get the pen out of the baklava, 'cause that's just
icky."

130. "Maggie said 'Light' and the Darkfriends flinched."

131. "It looks like it was custom-made for you; it radiates bad-ass
cuteness."

--
Leah L. Cole
colel at ptd dot net
Keeper of the Chronicles and
Sitter of Laps

Amy Gray

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Nov 11, 2002, 1:22:49 PM11/11/02
to
In article <MPG.1839b9bf6...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, co...@ptd.net
uttered...

> As soon as I walked in to the Alistairial, I had two quote books
> thrust into my hands. Apparently people don't wait for me to arrive
> to start saying silly stuff.

*grin* Nor did we stop the silliness after you left, though half the
time we couldn't find the quote book when we had something to write
down...

> Attributions to follow when she staggers out of her Darkfriend-
> induced haze.

A few are indicated here, just to make it all more amusing for the
onlookers.



> Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:

[random snippage]

> 6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."

For the curious:

http://www2.kumc.edu/students/agray/photos/dfs/bears.jpg



> 8. "Not my ass. Not my ass!"

Jeff, regarding a Shopvac and a hamster.



> 23. "Especially when they're indulged."

Mmm, whims.



> 28. "You're cute, dammit! Take it like a man!"

*snicker* Poor Alistair.



> 59. "You're Alistair 'Jim-Bob' Young."
> Editor's note from Alistair: Anyone who uses this in public will be
> eviscerated.

*blink* So using it in private is OK?



> 60. "It has blend, frappe, and sacrifice."

Even Maggie's blender serves the Great Lord.



> 82. (On Amy's tracts of land) "When I first saw that picture, I
> thought 'Damn, that's a nice bookstore!'"

This is especially amusing given that the background of that photo is
actually the exercise video section of said bookstore.



> 100. "Cleavage Rodents - three toys in one place!"

Or more, in extreme cases. But I don't exactly recommend stashing two
badgers, an aardvark, and a small elephant into one's bra. It gets
rather crowded. Hence:

> 103. "Look! She's got a bra-zoo!"
>
> 104. "It's not so much uncomfortable as it is moving towards the
> armpits..."
>
> 105. "So now they're *migrating*?"
>
> 106. "Would you like to play basketball with the badgers now?"
>
> 107. "Slamdunk!"

Yeah. We're sick and wrong. But that's why we have so much fun!



> 109. "The badger's easing itself."

On the aardvark, as I recall.



> 111. "It's going to take *months* of flamewars to get my reputation
> back!"

It's a lost cause, Alistair.



> 120. "Maggie, your cat is sitting on my tits!"
> "Are you surprised?"
> "No, but I can't breathe!"

It is astonishingly difficult to breathe through a faceful of feline.



> 128. "If I were a demi-cup, I'd have four breasts - which would be

^^^^


> profitable, I'm sure, but not exactly comfortable."

"wore", actually.



> 131. "It looks like it was custom-made for you; it radiates bad-ass
> cuteness."

*snicker* Huzzah for the Harley-Davidson teddy bear!

--
Amy Gray
UIN: 91047322
ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk (broken until further notice)
agr...@kc.rr.com

David Chapman

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Nov 11, 2002, 1:16:32 PM11/11/02
to
The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Leah L. Cole said:

> Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:
>

> 10. "It's probably better than Babylon 5 by default."

Someone was *really* drunk.

>
> 11. "I have to say that Mike Kozlowski is obviously the smartest and
> most attractibve person here."

Someone was really, *really* drunk.

> 40. "Incoming lead thingy-ide."
> "Fucknowside."
> "Unobtainium."
> "Stuffite."
> "Handwavium."

Sounds like the watching of Enterprise, a popular
pastime in our house. I genuinely want to like that show,
but they're not making it easy. As if the shitty song did
not suffice, we also get deathless lines as "We're taking
him to isolation; would you like to join him?" After
suffering through one such gem too many, we started
offering commentary.

T'POL: There appears to be a damping field.

TUCKER: I wonder what could be generating it?

US: (chorus) A damping field generator!

> 60. "It has blend, frappe, and sacrifice."

<grin>

> 68. "It's not like you eat a ton of bagel chips and they come along
> and circumcize you."

What a disappointment...

> 90. "She was telling me about Baby Jesus butt-plugs."
> (A brief Google search.)
> "It GLOWS IN THE DARK?"

Still not as bad as the Hello Kitty vibrator.

> 108. "Sex is good now, but software is good forever."

Either someone needs to learn more about software, or
they need to get the latest patch for their sex drive.

--
I guess a Cleric Mercenary would be like a cross between a Jehovah's
Witness and a Hell's Angel... Someone who wakes you up at 6:30 a.m. on
a Saturday morning and then tells you to go f*** yourself.


Maggie

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Nov 11, 2002, 5:07:56 PM11/11/02
to
David Chapman <evil...@madasafish.com> softly whispered...

> The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Leah L. Cole said:
>
> > Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:
> >
> > 10. "It's probably better than Babylon 5 by default."
>
> Someone was *really* drunk.

Most of us were pleasantly pickled, yes.

We put some 46 bottles of beer out to pasture on that Friday night, as
well as a couple bottles of wine. We had to go out Saturday to buy more
beer.

--
Maggie UIN 10248195 http://www.darkfriends.net <--updated!
"Shadow found himself thinking about a garage in San Clemente with box
after box of rare, strange and beautiful books in it rotting away, all of
them browning and wilting and being eaten by mold and insects in the
darkness, waiting for someone who would never come to set them free." -
Neil Gaiman, cut from _American Gods_

Will Frank

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Nov 11, 2002, 5:19:36 PM11/11/02
to
Maggie <maggie...@darkfriends.net> e-mused:

> We put some 46 bottles of beer out to pasture on that Friday night,

Forty-six bottle of beer in the house...
Forty-six bottles of beer...

--
Will "scifantasy" Frank
"All that mankind has done, thought, gained, or been; it is lying
as in magic preservation in the pages of books." --Thomas Carlyle

Frank van Schie

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Nov 11, 2002, 5:39:20 PM11/11/02
to

David Chapman wrote:
>
> > 60. "It has blend, frappe, and sacrifice."
>
> <grin>

I have got to get me one of these babies.

> > 90. "She was telling me about Baby Jesus butt-plugs."
> > (A brief Google search.)
> > "It GLOWS IN THE DARK?"
>
> Still not as bad as the Hello Kitty vibrator.

For those of you playing at home, the game Rez for the Playstation 2 now
apparently comes with a vibration pack which, so women have said, is
quite enjoyable while your SO (or, really, anyone) plays the game
correctly.

http://www.gamegirladvance.com/archives/2002/10/26/sex_in_games_rezvibrator.html

As seen on Slashdot, so you know it's good.

> > 108. "Sex is good now, but software is good forever."
>
> Either someone needs to learn more about software, or
> they need to get the latest patch for their sex drive.

If you find your sex drive is inoperable, you can get a replacement
here:
http://www.onzin.nl/fufme/index.htm

--
Frank
(my E-Mail domain is wanadoo.nl)

Michael Ikeda

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Nov 11, 2002, 6:15:51 PM11/11/02
to
In article <MPG.1839b9bf6...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, Leah L. Cole <co...@ptd.net> wrote:

>
>11. "I have to say that Mike Kozlowski is obviously the smartest and
>most attractibve person here."
>
>12. "If you don't know instantly that Mike himself wrote that, you're
>an imposter RASFWRJian."

Is there some particular reason that the above quotes are right next
to each other?

>
>78. "Go the fuck away, you skinny little bitches!"

Warning: A handy phrasebook we found during the DC social mentions
that the word "bitches" is "sometimes considered insulting".

>
>112. "I have never heard 'liberal' and 'catholic' used in the same
>sentence!"
>"I have, I was raised Southern Baptist!"

And my Dad knows some people who belong to a church that broke from
the Southern Baptists because they thought the Southern Baptists were
too liberal.

Michael Ikeda mmi...@erols.com
"Telling a statistician not to use sampling is like telling an
astronomer they can't say there is a moon and stars"
Lynne Billard, past president American Statistical Association

David Chapman

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Nov 11, 2002, 6:49:09 PM11/11/02
to
The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Frank van Schie said:

> David Chapman wrote:

>>> 108. "Sex is good now, but software is good forever."
>>
>> Either someone needs to learn more about software, or
>> they need to get the latest patch for their sex drive.
>
> If you find your sex drive is inoperable, you can get a replacement
> here:
> http://www.onzin.nl/fufme/index.htm

Please, Frank, tell me that's a spoof...

David Chapman

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 6:44:15 PM11/11/02
to
The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Maggie said:

> David Chapman <evil...@madasafish.com> softly whispered...
>> The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Leah L. Cole said:
>>
>>> Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:
>>>
>>> 10. "It's probably better than Babylon 5 by default."
>>
>> Someone was *really* drunk.
>
> Most of us were pleasantly pickled, yes.
>
> We put some 46 bottles of beer out to pasture on that Friday night, as
> well as a couple bottles of wine. We had to go out Saturday to buy
> more beer.

How many of you were there? If it's more than six,
that's not much of an achievement.

Kenneth G. Cavness

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 7:01:33 PM11/11/02
to
Foolishly giving up the right to remain silent,
David Chapman <evil...@madasafish.com> confessed...

> The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Leah L. Cole said:
>
> > Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:
> >
> > 10. "It's probably better than Babylon 5 by default."
>
> Someone was *really* drunk.

I so totally agree.

> > 11. "I have to say that Mike Kozlowski is obviously the smartest and
> > most attractibve person here."
>
> Someone was really, *really* drunk.

Actually, Koz wrote that. (For some reason, I just typed that out as
"Zok"...

> > 60. "It has blend, frappe, and sacrifice."
>
> <grin>

Why, thank you. It was, of course, the "Demon Blender."

--
Kenneth G. Cavness
ke...@cavness.org
http://www.cavness.org/
"Do yourself a favor, and learn the difference between 'nuance'
and 'bullshit.' -- John S. Novak, III

Kenneth G. Cavness

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 7:01:54 PM11/11/02
to
Foolishly giving up the right to remain silent,
Will Frank <wmf...@force.stwing.upenn.edu> confessed...

> Maggie <maggie...@darkfriends.net> e-mused:
> > We put some 46 bottles of beer out to pasture on that Friday night,
>
> Forty-six bottle of beer in the house...
> Forty-six bottles of beer...

The frightening thing is, I sang that song.

Kenneth G. Cavness

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 7:02:44 PM11/11/02
to
Foolishly giving up the right to remain silent,
Frank van Schie <fvs...@casema.net> confessed...
[snip]

> > > 90. "She was telling me about Baby Jesus butt-plugs."
> > > (A brief Google search.)
> > > "It GLOWS IN THE DARK?"
> >
> > Still not as bad as the Hello Kitty vibrator.
>
> For those of you playing at home, the game Rez for the Playstation 2 now
> apparently comes with a vibration pack which, so women have said, is
> quite enjoyable while your SO (or, really, anyone) plays the game
> correctly.

"Dance Dildo Revolution!"

Michael Bruce

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 7:43:52 PM11/11/02
to
On Mon, 11 Nov 2002, David Chapman <evil...@madasafish.com> wrote:
> The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Maggie said:
>
>> David Chapman <evil...@madasafish.com> softly whispered...
>>> The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Leah L. Cole said:
>>>
>>>> Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:
>>>>
>>>> 10. "It's probably better than Babylon 5 by default."
>>>
>>> Someone was *really* drunk.
>>
>> Most of us were pleasantly pickled, yes.
>>
>> We put some 46 bottles of beer out to pasture on that Friday night, as
>> well as a couple bottles of wine. We had to go out Saturday to buy
>> more beer.
>
> How many of you were there? If it's more than six,
> that's not much of an achievement.

The exact distribution of the consumption is what's important.

Plus, I think the drinkers were shooting more for "pleasantly drunk"
than "impressively drunk".

--
Michael Bruce
br...@jhereg.net
http://ibruce.org/mb/

Alexander Bryanson

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Nov 11, 2002, 7:58:12 PM11/11/02
to
<snip sex and fun Japanese Shojougaku anime>
>
> "Dance Dildo Revolution!"
>
You Darkfiend! Dance Dance Revolution has no sexual connotations..

Well, okay, it does. But still, it's not polite to talk about them in
public.

*remembers playing Gentle Stress Sexual Remix with gf, one day*


Laura M. Parkinson

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Nov 11, 2002, 8:21:58 PM11/11/02
to
Amy Gray <ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk> rhapsodized in blue:

>> Attributions to follow when she staggers out of her Darkfriend-
>> induced haze.
>
>A few are indicated here, just to make it all more amusing for the
>onlookers.
>

>> 6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."

*giggle*

Er... I mean... *stern look* That's just sick and wrong!

I guess the teddy bears graduated from the picnic to the orgy...

>> 120. "Maggie, your cat is sitting on my tits!"
>> "Are you surprised?"
>> "No, but I can't breathe!"
>
>It is astonishingly difficult to breathe through a faceful of feline.

So you had your mouth full of pussy? Is that what you're trying to
say?

--
-'-,-'-<<0 Trickster 0>>-'-,-'- lpark...@mindspring.com
http://lparkinson.home.mindspring.com

"Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be
destroyed." -Richard Adams, Watership Down

Maggie

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 8:30:56 PM11/11/02
to
Kenneth G. Cavness <ke...@cavness.org> softly whispered...

> Foolishly giving up the right to remain silent,
> Will Frank <wmf...@force.stwing.upenn.edu> confessed...
> > Maggie <maggie...@darkfriends.net> e-mused:
> > > We put some 46 bottles of beer out to pasture on that Friday night,
> >
> > Forty-six bottle of beer in the house...
> > Forty-six bottles of beer...
>
> The frightening thing is, I sang that song.

On the Saturday Beer Run, IIRC.

Hee.

We're silly.

Will Frank

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 8:32:10 PM11/11/02
to
Kenneth G. Cavness <ke...@cavness.org> e-mused:

>> Forty-six bottle of beer in the house...
>> Forty-six bottles of beer...
>
> The frightening thing is, I sang that song.

Were I there--given that I wouldn't have partaken and the song would
have been born out of the same synapses there as it did here--I would
have too.

Amy Gray

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 10:49:03 PM11/11/02
to
In article <3dd05722...@news.cis.dfn.de>,
lpark...@mindspring.com uttered...

> Amy Gray <ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk> rhapsodized in blue:
>
> >In article <MPG.1839b9bf6...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, co...@ptd.net
> >uttered...
>
>
> >> Attributions to follow when she staggers out of her Darkfriend-
> >> induced haze.
> >
> >A few are indicated here, just to make it all more amusing for the
> >onlookers.
> >
>
> >> 6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."
> >
> >For the curious:
> >
> >http://www2.kumc.edu/students/agray/photos/dfs/bears.jpg
>
> *giggle*
>
> Er... I mean... *stern look* That's just sick and wrong!
>
> I guess the teddy bears graduated from the picnic to the orgy...

All on their own initiative, too. It was impressive.



> >> 120. "Maggie, your cat is sitting on my tits!"
> >> "Are you surprised?"
> >> "No, but I can't breathe!"
> >
> >It is astonishingly difficult to breathe through a faceful of feline.
>
> So you had your mouth full of pussy? Is that what you're trying to
> say?

Heh. Something like that.

Amy Gray

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 10:49:16 PM11/11/02
to
In article <slrnat0k5...@mica.ibruce.org>, br...@jhereg.net
uttered...
Though I was rather miffed when Alistair was credited with not only his
own beer-drinking, but mine as well. Just because all the empty bottles
ended up in the same place...

Leah L. Cole

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 10:56:14 PM11/11/02
to
mmi...@erols.com opined....

> In article <MPG.1839b9bf6...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, Leah L. Cole <co...@ptd.net> wrote:
> >78. "Go the fuck away, you skinny little bitches!"
>
> Warning: A handy phrasebook we found during the DC social mentions
> that the word "bitches" is "sometimes considered insulting".

I was delighted by the conversation following, in which we assured
Alistair that he should simply steer clear of calling anyone a bitch
while in the country. *snicker*

Lovely to finally meet you, and share Tapas as well!
Leah

Amy Gray

unread,
Nov 11, 2002, 11:01:53 PM11/11/02
to
In article <MPG.183a45ea4...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, co...@ptd.net
uttered...

> mmi...@erols.com opined....
> > In article <MPG.1839b9bf6...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, Leah L. Cole <co...@ptd.net> wrote:
> > >78. "Go the fuck away, you skinny little bitches!"
> >
> > Warning: A handy phrasebook we found during the DC social mentions
> > that the word "bitches" is "sometimes considered insulting".
>
> I was delighted by the conversation following, in which we assured
> Alistair that he should simply steer clear of calling anyone a bitch
> while in the country. *snicker*

*perplexed look* He was worried about offending people?

Ian Hurst

unread,
Nov 12, 2002, 1:06:55 AM11/12/02
to
On Mon, 11 Nov 2002 22:39:20 GMT, Frank van Schie <fvs...@casema.net> wrote:
> If you find your sex drive is inoperable, you can get a replacement
> here:
> http://www.onzin.nl/fufme/index.htm

Oh. Oh man. I've always wanted something like that. No more expensive
wife for Ian--I can finally be one with my true love!

--
Ian Hurst

David Chapman

unread,
Nov 12, 2002, 7:43:14 AM11/12/02
to
The seas boiled, the skies fell, and Laura M. Parkinson said:

> Amy Gray <ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk> rhapsodized in blue:
>
>> In article <MPG.1839b9bf6...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>,
>> co...@ptd.net uttered...

>>> 6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."


>>
>> For the curious:
>>
>> http://www2.kumc.edu/students/agray/photos/dfs/bears.jpg
>
> *giggle*
>
> Er... I mean... *stern look* That's just sick and wrong!
>
> I guess the teddy bears graduated from the picnic to the orgy...

Oh, that's nothing. At the AFP 10th Birthday Party we
had a penguin sodomising a teddy bear.

The moral (or possibly the immoral) of this is that if you
want interspecies perversion, put a Finn, a Dutchman and
a German in the same room for five minutes.

(And we won't comment on Flexor and Menno's amusing
balloon art.)

Anne Willick

unread,
Nov 12, 2002, 9:44:26 AM11/12/02
to
On Mon, 11 Nov 2002 21:49:16 -0600, Amy Gray ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk
wrote...

Well, I mean really. Alistair _was_ putting quite a bit of effort into
his speech, so I assumed...

And anyway, shut up. I threw away your beer bottles, you should be
grateful. Hmph.

--
Anne

Amy Gray

unread,
Nov 12, 2002, 10:04:53 AM11/12/02
to
In article <MPG.183addd4b...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>,
bwil...@comcast.net uttered...

> On Mon, 11 Nov 2002 21:49:16 -0600, Amy Gray ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk
> wrote...
> > In article <slrnat0k5...@mica.ibruce.org>, br...@jhereg.net
> > uttered...
> > > The exact distribution of the consumption is what's important.
> > >
> > > Plus, I think the drinkers were shooting more for "pleasantly drunk"
> > > than "impressively drunk".
> >
> > Though I was rather miffed when Alistair was credited with not only his
> > own beer-drinking, but mine as well. Just because all the empty bottles
> > ended up in the same place...
>
> Well, I mean really. Alistair _was_ putting quite a bit of effort into
> his speech, so I assumed...
>
> And anyway, shut up. I threw away your beer bottles, you should be
> grateful. Hmph.

*grin* Oh, I am. Really.

The Great Gray Skwid

unread,
Nov 12, 2002, 10:41:57 AM11/12/02
to
In article <3DD03249...@casema.net>, fvs...@casema.net says...

> For those of you playing at home, the game Rez for the Playstation 2 now
> apparently comes with a vibration pack which, so women have said, is
> quite enjoyable while your SO (or, really, anyone) plays the game
> correctly.

As far as I've been able to determine, this is an accessory only
sold/available in Japan. I can't find one for sale in the States, and
I've been looking.

> As seen on Slashdot, so you know it's good.

Really? I couldn't find a story on it...I saw it 'cause Gabe linked to
it in a comment on Penny-Arcade.

--
| | |\ | | | ) Theudegisklos "Skwid" Sweinbrothar
|/| |\ |/ | |X| ( SKWID, Vulture V4 pilot ( The Humblest Mollusc
| | | | | | | ) Evan "Skwid" Langlinais ) on the Net
"News Flash: Millions bankrupted due to reductions in the wages of sin"

Frank van Schie

unread,
Nov 12, 2002, 11:23:24 AM11/12/02
to

The Great Gray Skwid wrote:
>
> In article <3DD03249...@casema.net>, fvs...@casema.net says...
> > For those of you playing at home, the game Rez for the Playstation 2 now
> > apparently comes with a vibration pack which, so women have said, is
> > quite enjoyable while your SO (or, really, anyone) plays the game
> > correctly.
>
> As far as I've been able to determine, this is an accessory only
> sold/available in Japan. I can't find one for sale in the States, and
> I've been looking.

Ah yes, they did mention that it was a Japanese version of Rez with a
Japanese console. Oops.

> > As seen on Slashdot, so you know it's good.
>
> Really? I couldn't find a story on it...I saw it 'cause Gabe linked to
> it in a comment on Penny-Arcade.

And I saw it in a comment on Slashdot, not as a story. It's in the story
for the drumming game, Game category.

Penny-Arcade still rocks, by the way.

Therese

unread,
Nov 12, 2002, 2:01:31 PM11/12/02
to
In article <aqqv15$ce8al$4...@ID-93395.news.dfncis.de>, David Chapman
(evil...@madasafish.com) says...

> Oh, that's nothing. At the AFP 10th Birthday Party we
> had a penguin sodomising a teddy bear.

When the cleavage rodents had retired for the night, the badger eased
himself on the aardvark. [1] This was when Alistair commented on how
some thing or the other (he slurs quite a bit when he's drunk) always
ended up with furry buttfuck.

"It's aardvark!" he then claimed.
"It's buttfuck!" the rest of us said.

Aardvarks still makes me giggle...

--
Therese Wikström
[1] Not all cleavage rodents belong to the family Rodentia.

Ilari Kaartinen

unread,
Nov 12, 2002, 4:16:29 PM11/12/02
to
"David Chapman" <evil...@madasafish.com> wrote in message
news:aqqv15$ce8al$4...@ID-93395.news.dfncis.de...

>
> Oh, that's nothing. At the AFP 10th Birthday Party we
> had a penguin sodomising a teddy bear.
>
> The moral (or possibly the immoral) of this is that if you
> want interspecies perversion, put a Finn, a Dutchman and
> a German in the same room for five minutes.
>
> (And we won't comment on Flexor and Menno's amusing
> balloon art.)
>

As a Finn I can say that only 2 + n Finns are needed, or sometimes only one
Finn will be sufficient. An 'old' Finnish 'proverb' says: 'Too much is
always too much, but suitable amount too little.' (when talking about
alcohol)

Like, cleaning cat's sandbox from vomit in the dark while smoking pot is
quite an experience. Luckily nobody has any proof that such thing ever
happened.

--

picture of a vomit in a sandbox (because some of us - like I - are sick:-)
http://www.unconscious.biz/%7Eikki/IMM032.JPG

--
Ilpo Ilari Kaartinen/ikki
"i don't think it's fair to judge a man by the length of his hair"


Zeynep Dilli / 'Morwen'

unread,
Nov 13, 2002, 3:21:34 PM11/13/02
to

On Tue, 12 Nov 2002, Therese declared:

> In article <aqqv15$ce8al$4...@ID-93395.news.dfncis.de>, David Chapman
> (evil...@madasafish.com) says...
>
> > Oh, that's nothing. At the AFP 10th Birthday Party we
> > had a penguin sodomising a teddy bear.
>
> When the cleavage rodents had retired for the night, the badger eased
> himself on the aardvark.

[snip]

This, on top of the revelations I had when I first saw the
cleavage rodent quotes as Alistair was typing them, has caused me to
go "Oh my dear God, what have I done?" quite emphatically.

Two months ago I'd thought badgers would make appropriate gifts
for RASFWR-Jians (I know, I know) and aardvarks too, simply because
they are unusual.

Should have known better than to trust Darkfriends with rodents...
or whatever an aardvark is.

--
Zeynep Dilli

GE/MU/S/L d--(+) s: a24 C++ US+ P L+>++ E-- W++>$ N++ K++ w>-- !O M- V?
PS+ PE(-) Y+ !PGP t- !5 !X R+ tv-- b+++>++++ DI+ D G e++$>+++ h* x?


Amy Gray

unread,
Nov 13, 2002, 4:00:08 PM11/13/02
to
In article <Pine.GSO.4.21.02111...@rac3.wam.umd.edu>,
di...@wam.umd.edu uttered...

>
>
> On Tue, 12 Nov 2002, Therese declared:
>
> > When the cleavage rodents had retired for the night, the badger eased
> > himself on the aardvark.
>
> This, on top of the revelations I had when I first saw the
> cleavage rodent quotes as Alistair was typing them, has caused me to
> go "Oh my dear God, what have I done?" quite emphatically.

Heh. You provided us with toys, silly.



> Two months ago I'd thought badgers would make appropriate gifts
> for RASFWR-Jians (I know, I know) and aardvarks too, simply because
> they are unusual.
>
> Should have known better than to trust Darkfriends with rodents...
> or whatever an aardvark is.

*giggle* Whatever it might be, we have thoroughly sullied it.

Alistair J. R. Young

unread,
Nov 14, 2002, 2:08:15 AM11/14/02
to
On Mon, 11 Nov 2002 12:58:29 -0500, in message <MPG.1839b9bf6...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>,
Leah L Cole <co...@ptd.net> praised Shub-Internet thus:

> At some later point, the dueling quote books were unified by my hand
> into a beautiful not-so-blank book that Maggie is using to record
> consecutive socials. Here follow the quotes, as typed in by someone
> (probably Alistair?) from Maggie's book after I left.

That would be me, yes, at least if they were typed into the
Darkfriends LJ.

Alistair

--
e-mail: ava...@panix.com WWW: http://www.arkane.demon.co.uk/
"Besides, sci.aquaria would make it to Europe." -- Richard Sexton

Alistair J. R. Young

unread,
Nov 14, 2002, 2:09:37 AM11/14/02
to
On Mon, 11 Nov 2002 12:22:49 -0600, in message <MPG.1839b1799...@news.cis.dfn.de>,
Amy Gray <ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk> praised Shub-Internet thus:
>> 28. "You're cute, dammit! Take it like a man!"

> *snicker* Poor Alistair.

Just another cross I have to bear.

>> 59. "You're Alistair 'Jim-Bob' Young."
>> Editor's note from Alistair: Anyone who uses this in public will be
>> eviscerated.

> *blink* So using it in private is OK?

No, just not worth the effort.

>> 109. "The badger's easing itself."

> On the aardvark, as I recall.

The aardvark was eased later.

Alistair

"Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'intrate." -- 'Inferno', Dante Aligheri

Alistair J. R. Young

unread,
Nov 14, 2002, 2:11:06 AM11/14/02
to
On Mon, 11 Nov 2002 22:56:14 -0500, in message <MPG.183a45ea4...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>,

Leah L Cole <co...@ptd.net> praised Shub-Internet thus:
> mmi...@erols.com opined....
>> In article <MPG.1839b9bf6...@News.CIS.DFN.DE>, Leah L. Cole <co...@ptd.net> wrote:
>> >78. "Go the fuck away, you skinny little bitches!"
>>
>> Warning: A handy phrasebook we found during the DC social mentions
>> that the word "bitches" is "sometimes considered insulting".

> I was delighted by the conversation following, in which we assured
> Alistair that he should simply steer clear of calling anyone a bitch
> while in the country. *snicker*

Like I hadn't figured that out already. Except under circumstances
under which I ordinarily would, of course.

Alistair

"[T]he secret to high uptimes is no one to use the network, no one to manage
the network and no one to maintain the network."
-- Chris Hacking, the Scary Devil Monastery

Amy Gray

unread,
Nov 14, 2002, 11:05:06 AM11/14/02
to
In article <c1.2b7.2js3v4$0...@chloe.arkane-systems.local>,
ava...@panix.com uttered...

> On Mon, 11 Nov 2002 12:22:49 -0600, in message <MPG.1839b1799...@news.cis.dfn.de>,
> Amy Gray <ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk> praised Shub-Internet thus:
> >> 28. "You're cute, dammit! Take it like a man!"
> > *snicker* Poor Alistair.
> Just another cross I have to bear.

And you bear it with such grace, too.



> >> 59. "You're Alistair 'Jim-Bob' Young."
> >> Editor's note from Alistair: Anyone who uses this in public will be
> >> eviscerated.
> > *blink* So using it in private is OK?
> No, just not worth the effort.

Hrm. OK. (This is purely academic curiosity, mind, as I find "Jim-
Bob" to be unpleasantly reminiscent of people in my childhood
hometown...)



> >> 109. "The badger's easing itself."
> > On the aardvark, as I recall.
> The aardvark was eased later.

This I do not remember.

Jeff Huo

unread,
Nov 16, 2002, 2:49:45 PM11/16/02
to
In article <MPG.1839b1799...@news.cis.dfn.de>,
ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk says...

> > 6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."
>
> For the curious:
>
> http://www2.kumc.edu/students/agray/photos/dfs/bears.jpg

(grin) I leave you, Therese, and K-J alone in my apartment
for just *one* *freakin'* hour... ;-)


-Jeff


[1] As a side note on that picture, the white-and-blue bear
partially hidden in that picture was a kind gift last
Christmas from the wonderful Laura Parkinson. :-)

--
Jeff Huo | je...@spundreams.net.nospam (remove nospam)
U. Michigan Med | http://www.spundreams.net/~jeff

New to the group? Welcome! Please read
http://www.landfield.com/faqs/sf/robert-jordan-faq/

http://www.spundreams.net/~jeff/rasfwrjians2.html

Amy Gray

unread,
Nov 16, 2002, 2:10:00 PM11/16/02
to
In article <MPG.18405d50e...@news.itd.umich.edu>,
je...@spundreams.net.nospam uttered...

> In article <MPG.1839b1799...@news.cis.dfn.de>,
> ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk says...
>
> > > 6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."
> >
> > For the curious:
> >
> > http://www2.kumc.edu/students/agray/photos/dfs/bears.jpg
>
> (grin) I leave you, Therese, and K-J alone in my apartment
> for just *one* *freakin'* hour... ;-)

No, really, they *did* do it all themselves. I swear!

--
Amy Gray
ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk
UIN: 91047322

Karl-Johan Noren

unread,
Nov 16, 2002, 3:06:38 PM11/16/02
to
In article <MPG.18405d50e...@news.itd.umich.edu>,
Jeff Huo <je...@spundreams.net.nospam> wrote:

> ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk says...
>
> > > 6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."
> > For the curious:
> > http://www2.kumc.edu/students/agray/photos/dfs/bears.jpg
>
> (grin) I leave you, Therese, and K-J alone in my apartment
> for just *one* *freakin'* hour... ;-)

Don't blame us, blame the teddy bears!

> [1] As a side note on that picture, the white-and-blue bear
> partially hidden in that picture was a kind gift last
> Christmas from the wonderful Laura Parkinson. :-)

See. It needed no inspiration from us in learning debauchery.


--
Karl-Johan Norén -- k...@bredband.net
http://hem.passagen.se/kjnoren/
- To believe people are as stupid as one believes is
stupider than one can believe

Laura M. Parkinson

unread,
Nov 19, 2002, 1:20:44 PM11/19/02
to
Karl-Johan Noren <k...@bredband.net> rhapsodized in blue:

>In article <MPG.18405d50e...@news.itd.umich.edu>,
>Jeff Huo <je...@spundreams.net.nospam> wrote:

>> [1] As a side note on that picture, the white-and-blue bear
>> partially hidden in that picture was a kind gift last
>> Christmas from the wonderful Laura Parkinson. :-)
>
>See. It needed no inspiration from us in learning debauchery.

Hey, what can I say? I raise 'em right!

Therese

unread,
Nov 19, 2002, 4:14:42 PM11/19/02
to
Karl-Johan Noren <k...@bredband.net> wrote:
> Jeff Huo <je...@spundreams.net.nospam> wrote:
> > ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk says...
> >
> > > > 6. "The teddy bears did it all themselves."
> > > For the curious:
> > > http://www2.kumc.edu/students/agray/photos/dfs/bears.jpg
> >
> > (grin) I leave you, Therese, and K-J alone in my apartment
> > for just *one* *freakin'* hour... ;-)
>
> Don't blame us, blame the teddy bears!

The huge, top heavy teddy bears were hastily propped up on the
armchair to allow me and KJ to fit into the bed. (We have slept with
less room than that, but I'm not _that_ fond of teddy bears.) The
following day, while Amy and I were nervously bouncing around the room
(more or less, combined with bouts of nervous apathy and paralysis)
the bear on top just flopped its cute little head down between the
other bear's legs... We boggled. We giggled. We took photos. We
thought Jeff wouldn't understand the depravity of the pictures, once
posted. It seems like the cutest, most innocent boy I know actually
surprised us on this one.

...or we just totally ruined his innocence at the Social. Whatever.

--
Therese Wikström
Scary Internet Person

Alistair J. R. Young

unread,
Nov 19, 2002, 8:48:12 PM11/19/02
to
On Thu, 14 Nov 2002 10:05:06 -0600, in message <MPG.183d85aa1...@news.cis.dfn.de>,

Amy Gray <ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk> praised Shub-Internet thus:
> In article <c1.2b7.2js3v4$0...@chloe.arkane-systems.local>,
> ava...@panix.com uttered...

>> >> Editor's note from Alistair: Anyone who uses this in public will be

>> >> eviscerated.
>> > *blink* So using it in private is OK?
>> No, just not worth the effort.

> Hrm. OK.

Blood's such a pain to get out of soft furnishings.

> (This is purely academic curiosity, mind, as I find "Jim-Bob" to be


> unpleasantly reminiscent of people in my childhood hometown...)

(I find it unpleasantly reminiscent of _The Waltons_, myself.)

>> >> 109. "The badger's easing itself."
>> > On the aardvark, as I recall.
>> The aardvark was eased later.

> This I do not remember.

It was late. There was a lot of easing going on.

Alistair

"I like 'clitmouse' though. Small, sensitive, and can send shivers all over
the screen when properly tickled."
-- Ralph Wade Phillips in the scary devil monastery

Amy Gray

unread,
Nov 19, 2002, 9:04:49 PM11/19/02
to
In article <c1.2b7.2jwcTS$0...@chloe.arkane-systems.local>,
ava...@panix.com uttered...

> On Thu, 14 Nov 2002 10:05:06 -0600, in message <MPG.183d85aa1...@news.cis.dfn.de>,
> Amy Gray <ag...@arkane.demon.co.uk> praised Shub-Internet thus:
> > In article <c1.2b7.2js3v4$0...@chloe.arkane-systems.local>,
> > ava...@panix.com uttered...
>
> >> >> Editor's note from Alistair: Anyone who uses this in public will be
> >> >> eviscerated.
> >> > *blink* So using it in private is OK?
> >> No, just not worth the effort.
> > Hrm. OK.
> Blood's such a pain to get out of soft furnishings.

So anyone using it in private will be smothered, garotted, or otherwise
killed in a non-leaky fashion?



> > (This is purely academic curiosity, mind, as I find "Jim-Bob" to be
> > unpleasantly reminiscent of people in my childhood hometown...)
> (I find it unpleasantly reminiscent of _The Waltons_, myself.)

(Same idea.)



> >> >> 109. "The badger's easing itself."
> >> > On the aardvark, as I recall.
> >> The aardvark was eased later.
> > This I do not remember.
> It was late. There was a lot of easing going on.

True. Especially when it got to the rodent three-way.

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