{Pendragon}RP "Problems of Utilitarianism" ( MF 1st pett oral )[3/3]
Uther Pendragon
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# # # #
THE PROBLEMS OF UTILITARIANISM
by Uther Pendragon
with help from Kitty (Irish...@yahoo.com)
and John Stuart Mill
Continued from Part 2
Part 3:
Coming at the end of his serious discourse, this caught her off guard.
"But could you tell me that with a straight face?" she asked through her
laughter. Only this morning, she suddenly realized, she could not have
imagined Jeremy as speaking with anything but a straight face. Of course,
she couldn't have imagined calling him "Jeremy" either.
"So, you are the one to decide. Is that a reason to decide that you
will always resist?"
"It doesn't seem to be."
"Deciding in advance is coldblooded. (An interesting opinion from a
woman who is taking the pill just in case.) Is that a reason to decide to
resist letting your emotions sweep you overboard?"
"It doesn't seem so."
"Going forward would increase the chasm between reality and your
father's illusions. Is that sufficient motive for you to deny yourself
what your contemporaries tell you is a great pleasure?"
"No!" She was very sure about that.
"Is it sufficient to delay that experience?"
Damn! He had put his finger on a sensitive spot there. (She had
thought of that metaphor quite innocently; but the sensitive spot where
Jeremy had put his finger tingled at the memory.) She shouldn't be
giggling now; this was serious business.
She had been delaying. Really, she would have dismissed any
possibility of a vow of chastity. But neither being found out nor keeping
an embarrassing secret had been particularly attractive. But Dad had found
out, found out more than was true; and she might as well be hanged for a
sheep as a lamb. "No," she said quietly. The consultation was really
over; she'd made her decision.
"The commencement appears to be irreversible. That creates an
asymmetry between 'yes' and 'no.' That is a reason to delay the
commencement. Is it a sufficient one?"
"No longer."
"And the commencement can be painful. Are this reason, or the sum of
the reasons remaining, sufficient to hold you back?"
"Not really. And my 'commencement' won't be painful. When I went to
student health to get a prescription for the pill, I talked with the
doctor...."
"And she cut your hymen?"
"He told me how to stretch it." She found herself blushing again.
Mercifully, Jeremy didn't mention it this time. He must have seen it, this
entire discussion had been conducted at a remarkably short distance.
"That leaves only one question," he said. She had hoped that it would
leave none at all. "Would you find it offensive if I were to attempt to
entice you over your set limits?"
She wasn't sure that she had any limits still set. Still and all, his
enticements had been delightful up to now. Maybe he could try that oral
thing again, and she would erase all her limits in return. She didn't want
to say so, though. She was still somewhat loathe to express such thoughts;
and bargaining over such matters, however likely to increase the sum total
of other pleasures, was unpleasant itself and would dampen her ardor. On
the other hand, he was a man who had proven he could give her pleasure--
indeed ecstasy, he was someone she respected, he already knew almost all
her secrets and could be trusted to keep that one as well. But this
discussion, however convincing, was quite recent. She knew herself well
enough to know that she needed time to internalize her decision, to take
the intellectual convictions into herself. But wasn't the question of what
she would take into herself the whole point of contention? She smiled.
He had been following her expression, and answered her smile with a
wider one of his own. The dear man had misread her. Well, she was glad
that she wasn't *completely* transparent to him. "You can try, but I can't
guarantee my mood." She leaned over to kiss him. The kiss met an open
mouth. He head been about to say something but soon was cooperating in the
kiss. She petted his side through the thin undershirt. At his waist, she
met belted trousers.
She broke the kiss to comment: "You removed nothing but your shirt."
"And my shoes and socks. You don't have to guarantee your mood. Only
that my trying is not offensive to you."
"You've been trying all along, and it hasn't offended me yet."
"Very trying."
"My line."
"Don't telegraph it then. Your mouth was better employed a minute
ago." He returned her kiss, beginning closed-mouth. By the time that he
came up for air, he was cupping her breast through the sheet. His face was
just at her focal distance when his thumb rubbed across her nipple. He
probably saw her face respond; he certainly felt the nipple stiffen. His
smile was triumphant. "Must see," he said. After lowering the covers to
just below her breasts, his hand returned to her breast and brushed her
nipple again. It responded, she responded, and he smiled again. Then he
kissed her left nipple while tweaking the right one. Arousal shot downward
from that double stimulus; she felt burning hot. She caressed his side,
but could only feel cloth. It wasn't fair.
"It's not fair." He abandoned her left breast to look her in the eyes
again. That was almost as arousing as his kiss had been. His eyebrows
signaled a question. "You have petted all of me, but I can't touch your
skin."
"That has been for your sake, not mine," he said. He rolled away from
her to sit on the other side of the bed. She pulled the sheet up to cover
herself. Although no one else could see her, she felt more embarrassed by
her nakedness when he was paying her no attention. He flipped the
comforter off the bed, but had the sheet over his waist before he began
removing his clothes. He was back beside her before she had seen anything
more private than a blurred glimpse of his buttocks.
She could see the top half of his chest in the present situation,
though. It was pale (this was a man who seldom left his study except to
visit a library or to give a lecture) and surprisingly hairy. He was
watching her face again. "You know now; I wasn't depriving you. Your
seeing me is not fair exchange for my seeing you."
"I was talking about touch." And when she did touch him, he felt
warm. Even on his shoulders there were hairs which she couldn't see, and
they tickled. The patch in the middle of his chest felt wiry. Jeremy and
she were lying on their sides now, facing each other. Her left arm was
under her pillow, but he had both arms free. As she played with the hair
on his chest, his right hand matched her motions.
Feeling daring, she moved her hand upwards across his nipple. His
hand took longer to make the trip, but then it had to move in two
dimensions. The thrill that his fingers produced as they slid over her
breast no longer surprised her, but the stiffening of his nipple did. It
was tiny, about the size hers had been when she was a little girl; but it
seemed sensitive to her touch. She hadn't known that men's nipples were at
all responsive. When her hand wandered further, his stayed on her breast,
cuddling it and brushing over the areola and nipple.
When she passed below his navel, though, his other hand caught hers
through the sheet. "Let's not do that quite yet."
"But you did."
"Quite right. And will do so again, but the idea is to sweep you over
your limits, not to sweep me over mine. And your touch could quite easily
do that. Even if you think that you are ready for me, isn't it reasonable
that my experience qualifies me to set the schedule?"
"I suppose, but you seem to be going awfully slow."
"I just stopped to allow your hand a little time for touching." He
placed her hand on his shoulder and moved closer. He kissed her nose
before her lips. Soon, his tongue was exploring her mouth; when it
withdrew, hers pursued. He sucked it gently while licking the underside.
When he broke away to kiss and lick a path towards her ear, she found
that they were in a close embrace. Her breasts were pressed into his hairy
chest, her legs were against his, but he was bent enough so that their
middles were apart. He licked her ear until she squirmed. Her left arm
was feeling trapped, but when he pressed her back she could move it down.
She put both hands on his face and brought it back where it belonged. This
kiss was longer but calmer. His hand now rested on the upper slope of her
left breast with only his thumb moving on her nipple. His other hand moved
continually, though, petting her side down to her hip before moving up to
tickle her ear or brush over her nipple.
When he left her mouth this time, it was to kiss her right breast. He
nibbled down from her shoulder, up the slope, licked the areola for a
moment, pecked at the top of her nipple, and then kissed down the
underside. After licking that area, he kissed back up towards the top. As
he got near, his fingers combed over her mound. He brushed his fingers
down the insides of her thighs while he licked all over her areola. His
fingers came up as his lips enveloped her nipple, and his mouth began a
gentle suction. His hand pressed between her thighs, just touching the
lips between them.
Her nipple followed his rising lips until it popped out.
"Johanna," he said very softly, but making it sound like a call from
far away, "Jo Hannn Na!" She spread her legs, spread them a little more
when he pressed against them. His hand brushed upwards again, and paused
with his fingers against her outer lips. He kissed her nose, and then her
mouth lightly. "Thanks."
Then he was kissing the lower slope of her left breast, moving upwards
as slowly as he had done on her right. Meanwhile, he parted her outer lips
and then her inner ones. He sucked hard on her nipple as he stroked
upwards within her valley. He stopped the suction just before his finger
slid across her clitoris. Each sensation increased her excitement.
He kissed her mouth while a finger, and then two fingers, slid through
her valley. He explored it all, only occasionally touching her most
sensitive point. His kiss firmed, becoming much more aggressive than his
mouth ever had been with hers, just before one of his fingers slid inside
her. She felt occupied, and a little stretched. She must have reacted,
because he broke the kiss. "Hurt?" he asked.
"It's not quite a hurt. It's just pressure. I didn't stretch myself
as much as I had thought."
"I think that the skin is gone. The muscles are still tight. That's
all right, muscles are made to stretch and recover. Let me take care of
it." And take care of it he did. He kissed each breast in turn while his
finger pressed her in every direction. He withdrew his finger to stroke up
her valley and then returned. His second entry seemed easier, and each one
after that easier still. On one withdrawal, he began kissing down from her
breasts across her abdomen. Then he had reversed himself in the bed to lie
with his face against her hip.
His hands urged her over on her side and raised her right leg. She
cooperated eagerly, anticipating his mouth. Resting his head on her left
thigh, he began to lick her outer lips. She had to let her leg fall, but
he didn't complain.
His groin was within eight inches of her face. It was the first adult
phallus that she had ever seen live, as opposed to photographed or drawn.
She owed herself a close examination, but the sensations from his mouth and
wandering hands were too distracting.
One of his hands played with her nipples while another clenched her
right buttock. His tongue stroked her valley from top to bottom. Her body
tensed and straightened when he pulled her against him for a long sucking
kiss right *there*. Then his tongue was flicking rapidly back and forth
over her core. She flamed, flamed again, flamed repeatedly until she
collapsed.
He rolled her over, got them both covered. He had two fingers inside
her before she could breathe again. He kissed her face gently. The odor
was barely detectable. Then his fingers were moving inside her, and his
tongue was licking her breasts. This was too much. His fingers were more
than she could comfortably hold; his teasing was more stimulus than she
could handle. She really didn't have any strength left for the response
he was seeking.
On the other hand, and the expression brought a smile to her lips, the
pleasure that he had brought her was light years ahead of what she could
summon by her own hand. She'd stop him if there was any real pain. What
she felt was more like fullness. It was only slightly uncomfortable, and
also faintly sexy.
Then he sucked on her nipple and brushed her labia with his thumb.
Make that quite sexy. He rolled his fingers around inside her, paused
while he sucked the other breast, pulled against the front of the tunnel
and then pushed against the back. He kissed her mouth, and the taste was a
bit stronger than the smell had been. It tasted tart and not at all
erotic. He licked his way to her ear and then down her neck. She writhed
from the tickles, but it was arousing in its own way. By the time he
reached her breast, she was comfortable with the slow motion of his fingers
within her. They merely wriggled against each other.
By now, the alternation of licking and blowing on her nipple held all
her attention. She now knew what the tension in her abdomen presaged, and
welcomed it. Indeed, she yearned for it. Then, when it felt inevitable,
Jeremy abandoned her breast to stare into her face. His face was dear, his
attention to her more so; but how was she going to finish without his
attentions to her breast? "Dearest Johanna," he said. "Come for me, Jo.
Come now." And she did.
Her tension doubled, arching her back. Then she shook. Fire blazed
within her. It flared from her loins to her breasts. Her skin burned.
Her belly throbbed. Her breasts ached for his touch. And, when he did
suck the left one, she throbbed all the more. The arm not touching him was
thrashing around on the bed. Then he abandoned her breast. A new fire
throbbed through her, slamming her legs down as it raised her belly. When
the throbbing had slowed, he was kneeling between her legs. His phallus
was thrust out proudly, and he was rolling something white down it. He
didn't need to do that.
His fingers withdrew to her entrance. They were replaced by something
cooler and slicker. "Say yes, Jo." Unable to speak, she nodded; when he
didn't respond, she nodded more vigorously. "Oh darling!" he said.
She was stretched a bit more, but that was less important than his
face with beaming eyes coming closer towards hers. His hips were pressed
into her thighs, and she let them ride higher as they hugged him. Then he
was kissing her, filling her mouth as he filled her tunnel. He
straightened above her, rising a little and gazing down. He rolled back
and forth a little, ending even deeper within her and with a hand on each
breast. "Are you all right?" he asked.
"I'm fine. When are you going to move?"
His answer was silent. He withdrew slowly and pushed back inside even
more slowly. She found that she was more comfortable with her legs around
his waist. His hands toyed with her breasts as he moved more nearly out
and more fully in. The motions began to excite her, in a way slightly
different than his hands or mouth had done. She pushed back against his
motion, clumsily at first. Then she crossed her ankles and pulled him into
her with her legs. Catching his rhythm, she moved her body to meet his and
her legs to clutch him to her.
"Oh Jo," he said. And then a long "Ohhh" on his withdrawal followed by
"Jo - Hann - Na" on his thrust. His gaze rose from hers, and she found
herself watching his chin as it moved from the level of hers when he was
barely within her to the level of her eyes when she was totally filled. She
was tensing; the long slow strokes which had delighted her moments ago were
no longer enough. Something changed in his motions. Then he rolled to her
right.
He abandoned her left breast to clutch her thigh. She felt his finger
part her lips as his stroking continued. But it was still too slow. She
pressed up at him sooner, pulled her legs into his buttocks more firmly.
He sped up, but never enough. She found herself grasping his hips with her
hands. "Johanna," he said, "Darling Jo!" Her skin was burning. He sped
almost enough. She could feel the fire on the other side of some
immaterial wall, but it was not burning through. His finger touched her
center. The fire raged hotter. He stroked her again.
The fire burned through! She soared. She throbbed. And this time
she could feel that she was throbbing around something. Her hands clutched
his buttocks. Her tunnel clutched Jeremy himself. "Johanna!" he said.
Now he was going fast enough. He rocked back despite her clutching hands
and tensing legs. He drove into her. Now he, too, was pulsing.
"Jo," he said. "Jo. Jo! Oh Johanna!" The last was nearly a scream.
Then he was lying fully on her. She throbbed around him again. Then a
pause as if at the top of a cliff. When she throbbed once more she could
feel him slip out. The waves still ran through her, but more slowly, more
weakly. Finally, they stopped.
He lay on her for another minute, maybe more. He moved off despite
her attempts to hold him. He hadn't needed to do that, but it did make
breathing easier. He held her arm, kissing her wrist between gasps. Then
he pulled the sheet over them both. She *had* been getting chilly.
"Dearest Johanna," he said. She had been almost asleep. He kissed
her forehead. "I can't say that I feel the least regret that I forced the
pace this morning, but I feel more than a little guilt."
"Don't. The multiplication of happiness, as my father always taught
me, is the object of virtue. I'm happy. I think that you are...."
"More than words can express."
"And no-one else is really involved. There are only two more things
that I could desire from this um... interview."
His smile broadened. "Your father's continued ignorance and..." Yes,
that too.
"Well, three things then. I guess I'm spoiled in some ways. I
haven't had a huge clothes allowance, or a private phone since my tenth
birthday like many of my classmates. But my curiosity has been satisfied
all of my life. I've seen pictures."
"You want to examine my genitalia. Fair enough, but let me get
cleaned up first." He got out of bed on the other side, but came all the
way around it before removing the condom. Implicitly, he was allowing her
to observe this action before he was clean.
"You didn't need to do that, you know."
He didn't answer until after he had come back. "I thought that you
might be curious about that, too. I brought a soft cloth; do you want to
wipe yourself off? I am more than willing to do that job."
She took the cloths. Modesty was incongruous by this time, but she
felt modest all the same. He turned his back and rummaged in his closet
while she wiped herself with a damp cloth and then a dry one. He returned
with a robe. "I prefer you au naturel," he said, "but you have your
choice." He didn't look away while she put on the robe.
"You didn't need to use it at all. I'm on the pill."
He lay on his side atop the sheet. "Your best protection against
disease," he said while she began her inspection, "is to avoid partners
with any likelihood of having a disease. Condoms are insurance." His
phallus was smaller than it had looked earlier, and dangled down sideways.
When she came further forward, he opened his legs.
"May I touch? Did you think that I might have a disease?"
"It would have been rather late in the day for me to worry about that.
It was more for your future protection. You won't want to tell your next
partner that he has to wear a condom because you only let men you trust
enter you unclad." That took care of the next question as well. The two
of them didn't have a future. Well, she hadn't expected any relationship
when she had knocked on the door. He rolled on his back and spread his
legs. "This position is better for touching."
When she moved it aside to examine his scrotum, his phallus felt so
limp. It had felt so firm entering her. It also seemed to twitch in her
hand. The testes were loose in his sack, even after it seemed to shrink
slightly at her touch. "Be very gentle with those," he said. "The other
you can't hurt unless you really try to. And what was the second thing?
Third counting your father. Or should I wait until you have finished your
explorations?"
"I just wondered whether we would do this again." His phallus
twitched then, too. It must be something that the male organ did
occasionally.
"That is your decision. I certainly would want to see you again. On
the other hand, there are clear limits on our relationship. I couldn't ask
for an exclusive one. Think of the many boys who would be deprived of the
pleasure of your company. And, consequently, I can't offer much of a
social life." She took her time examining the head of his phallus. It
wasn't much different from the pictures in the books, but she needed time
to answer. Then she had it.
"Next time, can I see you erect?"
"Darling girl. You can see anything that I can provide. Next time,
will you tell me how your social life has progressed?"
Quid pro quo? "You want me to sleep with other men, don't you?"
"It is, as you noted, your body. I want you to give younger men the
chance of sweeping you over those limits. I care for you. If I
foresee--even if you disagree with me--that you have set yourself on a path
that will lead to your future unhappiness, then I will be unhappy in the
present. (I could have described the time sequence better there.)"
"I understand it. I care for you, too."
"So long as we understand that a great deal of these feelings are
paternal and filial, we're in agreement. When you find a partner you think
is worthy of your exclusivity, my feelings will be quite ambivalent. Do
you want to shower before you go?"
Here's your hat, what's your hurry. Was that his attitude now? "I
think so."
"It's almost lunch time, and you don't want to go out right after a
shower. Why don't you shower now, or the tub for that matter? I'll get
lunch started. There's nothing fancy, I'm afraid. Use the blue towels,
they're clean." He wasn't hurrying her out, although the world's demands
would do that soon enough. He bustled into the kitchen, and she fetched
her underclothes before starting the shower.
They would talk at lunch. The future was tenuous, but futures usually
are.
The End
THE PROBLEMS OF UTILITARIANISM
Uther Pendragon
98/11/30
--
Uther Pendragon anon...@nyx.net
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