The Kibological Lunchroom <-- WARNING! PRODUCT CONTAINS ANGST! DO NOT EAT!
Jaffo
THE COOL TABLE
Carlos May
Gardner Trask
Ian York
David DeLaney
Louis Nick
Ben Weiner
Bruce Ediger
fB
Yonderboy
Bill Newcomb
Ralph <-- Pretends Otherwise
Stefan Kapusniak
Roger Douglas
The Philosopher From Hell
Michael Straight
Karlo Takki
Thomas R. Scudder
Samantha Wilkinson
Eli M. Balin
THE KIBO TABLE
Kibo
Matt McIrvin
Maelstrom
Nick Bensema
Stephen Will Tanner
THE ULTRA-COOL TABLE
Tom Richardson
Tjames Madison
Joe Bay
Teg Pipes
ETP
Lisa Higginz
Yonderboy
Kia Mennie
Ted Mennie
Louis Nick
THE "ADULT" TABLE
Dianne Stanley
Darla
FMR Ranger
E. Holmes
****** *****
THE ANGST TABLE
Nick Bensema
Lee Bumgarner
Jaffo
THE POLITICS TABLE <-- Defunct
Jaffo
Andy Damick
Louis Nick
THE ANGRY TABLE
Bev
Rone
Michele Tepper
THE FRESHMEN
Steve Ehrbar
Leah Verre
Tom Scudder
Michael Egan
Tlerll
Michael Warner
Eddie Saxe
B. Chas Parisher
THE VISITORS
Wenchpoet
Cronan
Phoenix
THE ORPHANS
Andrew Jeanes
Anybody I Forgot
--
"I for one sure know from Jaffo's postings that he isn't
on this list to buss anyone's butt, least of all mine."
-- E. Gary Gygax
http://rampages.onramp.net/~jaffo/
Tjames Madison
Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
: THE ULTRA-COOL TABLE
: Tom Richardson
: Tjames Madison
: Joe Bay
: Teg Pipes
: ETP
: Lisa Higginz
: Yonderboy
: Kia Mennie
: Ted Mennie
: Louis Nick
Joseph Bay keeps kicking me. Plez make him stop.
--
RoR-Alucard | http://www.pigdog.org
W E R I S T H I E R D E R B O S S ?
Darla
>
> Tom Richardson
> Tjames Madison
> Joe Bay
> Teg Pipes
> ETP
> Lisa Higginz
> Yonderboy
> Kia Mennie
> Ted Mennie
> Louis Nick
>
So.
No "ADULT"S are COOL or ULTRA-COOL.
No COOL or ULTRA-COOL are Adults.
No "ADULT"S are ANGST or ANGRY.
Only "ADULT"S have quotation marks, which may indicate that they are not
what they "seem."
Yonderboy is both COOL and ULTRA-COOL which, forgive me, makes him
CRYOGENIC.
Nick Bensema is the only ANGST which is also KIBO.
And, once again, CIRCUT (sic) is NOWHERE.
*sigh*
Darla
---"In the morning I cast my net into the sea. I dragged up from the
dark abyss things of strange aspect and strange beauty - some shone
like a smile, some glistened like tears, and some were flushed like
cheeks of a bride."
The Gardener (Rabindranath Tagore) 1916
Karlo Takki
Jaffo, you bastard. I want to sit at THE ANGRY TABLE.
I DEMAND TO SIT AT THE ANGRY TABLE. IT IS MY *RIGHT*
TO SIT AT THE ANGRY TABLE. FUKKER.
AND ANOTHER THING:
Every time the newsreader on the BBC mentions the word
"HECTARES" while outlining Mugabe's plan to redistribute
land in Zimbabwe, the whole class giggles uncontrollably.
AND ANOTHER THING:
You're going to clone Nick?
GIVE ME A SEAT AT THE ANGRY TABLE OR I'LL KILL THIS MEME -->*
--
"In spite of everything, I still believe that people are
really good at heart. Fucker." - Anne Frank
Stefan Kapusniak
In alt.religion.kibology, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
>THE COOL TABLE
<snip>
>Stefan Kapusniak
<snip>
I would like to point out that I am AT THIS VERY MOMENT listening to
Bjork's 'Homogenic', whilst watching a documentry on 'Herman Hermits'
on my black and white television, having just ordered two copies of
Clausewitz's 'On War'.
PLEASE REMOVE MY NAME FROM THE COOL TABLE IMMEDIATELY.
Also judging by this important evidence brought to our attention by Ser
Jaffo, the cloning problem seems to be getting _seriously_ out of hand.
<angst lawsuit preventing disclaimer[1]>
THE PREVIOUS SENTENCES WERE MERELY OBSERVATIONS OF INTERESTING AND
WEIRD _FACT TYPE-THINGS_ AMD SHOULD NOT BE CONSTRUED AS PUTDOWNS BY
THOSE OF A NERVOUS DISPOSITION IN ANY WAY.
THIS DISCLAIMER NOT REQUIRED BY LEADER KIBO OR HIS KARMA POLICE[2].
</angst lawsuit preventing disclaimer>.
obKibo +----+
|
|
|
+---------+
\|/
KIBO! KIBO! KIBO! KIBO! KIBO! KIBO! <---- FreeKIBOS included completely
FREE and GRATIS with this post
to increase rapidly falling
bozosity quotient within the
confines of YOUR newsfroup.
[insert empty space here] REMEMBER with YOUR handy-dandy
FreeKIBOS you too can be the
ENVY of your friends and COW-
ORKERS. Unlike other proprietry
Kibos, FreeKIBOS is distributed
under the terms of Kibo Standard
License, ensuring you are
FULLY ALLOWED (unless you are
just a dog).
To install FreeKIBOS merely
follow the instructions on the
back your nearest pack of
Mentos, Whilst reciting the
'Charge of the Light Brigade'
backwards in Swahilhi.
the marketing department
invented the following
slogans, so they are
100% true. __
|| <---- Suggested fB killfile
|| entry no.231 Stefan+Arrow.
||
\ /
\/
DID YOU KNOW THAT WITHOUT KIBO YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE ???
Use the KIBOS thats even more Allowed than you, FreeKIBOS !!!!
-- Kapusniak, Stefan
[1] Studies show that with the number of bozing days lost due to
Usenet post generated Angst rises by several orders of
magnitude over the holiday period. A commensurate rise in
class action suits brought by the angst-ridden victims of
such angst inducing posts is only to be expected. Remember to
send YOUR large brown envelopes STUFFED with any HARD-CURRENCY
of your choice to the Institute of Missapplied Psychometry in
order to retain the worlds formost experts in this field of law.
[2] Quick, somebody follow-up with a MAXIMALISED math-geeked post
so we can introduce the following lyric into our everyday
discourse:
"Karma Police
arrest this man he talks in maths he buzzes like A fridge
he's like a detuned radio"
Thank you.
Stefan Kapusniak
In alt.religion.kibology, kta...@artcrime.com (Karlo Takki) wrote:
>GIVE ME A SEAT AT THE ANGRY TABLE OR I'LL KILL THIS MEME -->*
KILL THE MEME! KILL, KILL, KILL THE MEME!
MEMEKILL, MEMEKILL, FUCKING YOU
MY LOVE FOR A MEMEKILL MEMEDEATH
SO SOFTLY SWEET YOUR BARKING RAZORED EXTREME
KILL THE MEME! KILL, KILL, KILL THE MEME!
CIRCUS MY KILLING. ROPED WITHIN
MY ECSTAIC PAIN FOR A MEMEKILL
FREEZING (MY SWEET) ACROSS YOUR SWEATED SHEEN
KILL THE MEME! KILL, KILL, KILL THE MEME!
KILL, KILL, KILL
KILL, KILL, KILL THE MEME!
(kill the meme)
-- Kapusniak, Stefan m
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 29 Nov 1997 21:25:30 GMT, Karlo Takki said:
:Jaffo, you bastard. I want to sit at THE ANGRY TABLE.
:I DEMAND TO SIT AT THE ANGRY TABLE. IT IS MY *RIGHT*
:TO SIT AT THE ANGRY TABLE. FUKKER.
:
:AND ANOTHER THING:
:
:Every time the newsreader on the BBC mentions the word
:"HECTARES" while outlining Mugabe's plan to redistribute
:land in Zimbabwe, the whole class giggles uncontrollably.
:
:AND ANOTHER THING:
:
:You're going to clone Nick?
:
:GIVE ME A SEAT AT THE ANGRY TABLE OR I'LL KILL THIS MEME -->*
This bit is much funnier when Ernest P. Warell does it.
Jaffo
Joseph Michael Bay
tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) writes:
>Joseph Bay keeps kicking me. Plez make him stop.
Am not!
--
J. Michael Bay ( ) official business (x) bozo
Stanford University ( ) unofficial business (x) not a bozo
Medical School (x) other ( ) who, me?
"Urine is wonderful . . . I'm high on urine." -- Bruce Ames
Lisa Rea
So then, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) is all like:
>THE KIBO TABLE
>Kibo
>Matt McIrvin
>Maelstrom
>Nick Bensema
>Stephen Will Tanner
The Kibo table looks sorta like Lawrence of Arabia, IYKWIM (AITTYD).
For much the same reasons, I might add.
>THE ULTRA-COOL TABLE
>Tom Richardson
>Tjames Madison
>Joe Bay
>Teg Pipes
>ETP
>Lisa Higginz
>Yonderboy
>Kia Mennie
>Ted Mennie
>Louis Nick
OK, I was getting really mad as I was going through these lists and
NOT SEEING MY NAME AND NOT SEEING MY NAME AND NOT SEEING MY NAME, but
then when I SAW MY NAME, IT HAD ALL THESE OTHER NAMES ON TOP OF IT,
PLUS I HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO YONDERBOY AND HE KEEPS KICKING ME AND
TAPPING MY OPPOSITE SHOULDER AND FUKK!!! FUKKEEEENNNNNNN!!!! FUKK!!!
AND TJAMES STOLED MY PEACH COBBLER WHEN I WAS TRYING TO PUNCH
YONDERBOY FOR SAYING IT WAS NOT HIM, THEN KIA PINCHED ME AND PULLED MY
HAIR!!! AND MADE ME CRY!!!
And I was not picking my nose. I was just scratching it. And that
would be no reason for you to throw my lunch all around the floor like
that, because you all know that I have to eat a special lunch, and I
guess that fair is for fairies, like my mom used to say, but
sometimes, my blood sugar gets really low toward the end of the day
even when I get lunch. I cannot help if my metabolism is different
from yours. My mom said you are all just envious because I am special,
but I kinda don't think that's it.
Also, they all passed around that note that I sent to Joe that said
that I thought he was cute. I didn't mean it, though. It was supposed
to be mean, like because his head is too big for his body. Louis and
Ted tore my shirt and poured milk on me, and now I have to go borrow
clothes from the lost and found, and I'll still smell funny for the
rest of the day. And the pants will be too big and those big tall
underwear my mom makes me wear are going to show out the top, and
they're just going to laugh some more while I think about worms eating
their heads.
Someday, I will be all famous and shit and I will go on TV and talk
about what jerks they are, and then they will get fired from their
jobs for that, and they will be all sad and crying and they will call
my secretary and ask will I please accept their apologies and they are
so sorry, and I will send them all checks for, like, five dollars so
they can buy some ramen.
I wish I had some ramen right now.
I am not crying. I'm just allergic to tomatoes.
---
Lisa Pea: One Step Ahead of the Law
Two Steps Ahead of Vic Damone!
Tjames Madison
Lisa Rea <lis...@dim.com> wrote:
: So then, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) is all like:
: >THE KIBO TABLE
: >Kibo
: >Matt McIrvin
: >Maelstrom
: >Nick Bensema
: >Stephen Will Tanner
: The Kibo table looks sorta like Lawrence of Arabia, IYKWIM (AITTYD).
: For much the same reasons, I might add.
There is a buncha barbie dolls arranged around it. Some of them are
missing limbs or heads and some of them are half-dressed because Matt is
taking all the clothes and designing a new outfit that looks like
something Klaus Nomi once wore on a show called DEUTSCH BANDBOX.
Maelstrom is saying something like "Blah blah blah Florence Henderson
blah," and Kibo is all like trying to pretend he didn't hear it.
: >THE ULTRA-COOL TABLE
: >Tom Richardson
: >Tjames Madison
: >Joe Bay
: >Teg Pipes
: >ETP
: >Lisa Higginz
: >Yonderboy
: >Kia Mennie
: >Ted Mennie
: >Louis Nick
: OK, I was getting really mad as I was going through these lists and
: NOT SEEING MY NAME AND NOT SEEING MY NAME AND NOT SEEING MY NAME, but
: then when I SAW MY NAME, IT HAD ALL THESE OTHER NAMES ON TOP OF IT,
: PLUS I HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO YONDERBOY AND HE KEEPS KICKING ME AND
: TAPPING MY OPPOSITE SHOULDER AND FUKK!!! FUKKEEEENNNNNNN!!!! FUKK!!!
: AND TJAMES STOLED MY PEACH COBBLER WHEN I WAS TRYING TO PUNCH
: YONDERBOY FOR SAYING IT WAS NOT HIM, THEN KIA PINCHED ME AND PULLED MY
: HAIR!!! AND MADE ME CRY!!!
Once I saw this movie where some guy was walking across a bridge wearing
leather panties and a bustier and smoking a long thin cigarette from a
special cigarette holder, and it was in the snow, and that guy was not
Kibo. But there was this scene after that where Ron Howard showed up and
then it was like a movie within a movie because the movie next became a
Ron Howard movie and the first scene of this new Ron Howard movie was
*exactly* like what you described, except Yonderboy looked even more like
Conan O'Brien's twerpy nephew in this one.
And then Wilford Brimley was in the next scene and he got sucked up into a
big tube into a spaceship and when he came out he was Brian Denehey!
: Someday, I will be all famous and shit and I will go on TV and talk
: about what jerks they are, and then they will get fired from their
: jobs for that, and they will be all sad and crying and they will call
: my secretary and ask will I please accept their apologies and they are
: so sorry, and I will send them all checks for, like, five dollars so
: they can buy some ramen.
I wish I had five dollars so I could buy some ramen. I do not like ramen
though. Can I spend it on pancakes?
Eddie Saxe
In article <34836fb4...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
>THE FRESHMEN
>
>Steve Ehrbar
>Leah Verre
>Tom Scudder
>Michael Egan
>Tlerll
>Michael Warner
>Eddie Saxe
>B. Chas Parisher
Wow! It sure is good to be up to the level of Freshman here on this
notesfile! I can't wait until I'm here on this Usenet BBS as long as Jaffo
has been here. Maybe the cool folks will let me sit at their table, then.
Eddie
--
************** ---------------------------------------- **********************
\/\/\/\/\ * * /\ * * /\/\/\/\/
Eddie Saxe \/\/\/\/\ * * / \ * * /\/\/\/\/
(sa...@sgi.com) \/\/\/\/\ * * / \ * * /\/\/\/\/ This whitespace
\/\/\/\/\ / ** \ /\/\/\/\/ intentionally left blank.
"I am a jelly \/\/\/\/\ / * * \ /\/\/\/\/
donut." ---JFK \/\/\/\/\/ ** \/\/\/\/\/ |\ _,,,---,,_
\/\/\/\/ ^^ \/\/\/\/ /,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,_
HE SAID IT!!!1! \/\/\/ THE INNER \/\/\/ |,4- ) )-,_. ,\ ( `'-'
HE REALLY DID!!!! \/\/ -- CIRCLE -- \/\/ '---''(_/--' `-'\_)
\/ \/
-------------------- Isn't this the |<()()|_est cat
you've ever seen? I invented
it. If you use it in your .sig
you owe me fifty bucks.
========================== THE INNER CIRCLE ARE ============================
***************** -> TIM O'DONOGHUE <- _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
*****TASTES**** -> JO MEACHEM <- _/_/LESS_/_/_/
****GREAT**** -> RACHEL PERKINS <- _/FILLING/_/
*********** -> NEIL BOWERS <- _/_/_/_/_/
********* -> DEAN ENGELHARDT <- _/_/_/_/
******* -> DAVE SWEENEY X2987 <- _/_/_/
***** -> SVEN GUCKES <- _/_/
*** -> NICK LEVERTON <- _/
* -> PAUL TOMBLIN <-
Timothy F. Donahue -> MATT WELSH <- Timothy F. Donahue
c1984 -> RICH HOLMES <- c1992
:: -> HEATHER BEAN <-
-> JESSICA RAINE <- /\_ "" _/\
//\\ -> KEITH LIM <- \/ ( ) \/
/\_| |_/\ -> RUTH KNEALE <- \/
\/ ## \/ -> JAMES CHERRY <-
-> DVAE VAN HORN <-
-> EDDIE SAXE <-
-> KAREN COOPER <-
OBIKHTIWNEVEDNAEKILIEREHWTIEDIROTTNAWIECYCIRTYMEDIROTTNAWIEKITRYMEDIROTTNAWIELC
I Y
W But which is whom, and who is which? C
A \ I
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T __ __o __o __o\__o __o __o __o _\o __o __o __o __o __o __o __o __o __o T
T __ -\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<,-\<, Y
O *.(_)/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/---/(_) M
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I dave dvae heather jess karen neil paul (rheal) ruth tim D
D keith dean eddie james jo matt nick rachel rich sven I
E R
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I W
T This is a random dot asciiogram. To view, look at the X's at the top, then O
S turn your head upside-down, blow your nose, wag your VAP, and, above all, N
L relax. The X's will appear to get closer and closer, until they and the K
I picture just "pop" into view, unless you suffer from severe retardation. E
F W
E X X X X X S
J Heather Bean NeiHeather Bean NeiHeather Bean NeiHeather Bean NeiHeather Bea A
I l Bowers James Cl Bowers James Cl Bowers James Cl Bowers James Cl Bowers Ja T
M herry Dean Engelherry Dean Engelherry Dean Engelherry Dean Engelherry Dean O
B hardt Sven Guckehart Sven Guckehardt Sven Guckedardt Sven Guckedhardt Sven N
U s Rich Holmes rus Rch Holmes rus Rich Holmes rui Rich Holmes ruis Rich Holm T
T th kneale Nick Lth neale Nick Lth kneale Nic Lkh kkneale Nic Lkk kkneale Ni I
N everton Jo Meacheverton o MeaJcheverton o eaJcheverMton o eaJchMverMton o e W
O em Tim O'Donoghuem Tim ODonog'huem Tim Oonog'huem TimD Oonog'huDm TimD Oono O
T e rachel perkinse rachelperki nse racheperkil nserache perkil nserache perk N
A Jessica Raine D JessicaRaine D JessicRainea D essicJRainea D essicJRain K
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K sh Keith Lim Rhesh KeithLim R hesh KeitLim Rh hesh KeitLim Rh hesh KeitLim A
N al Nadeau Eddie al Nadea Eddiue al Nade Eddiaue a Nadel Eddiaue a Nadel Edd T
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N Guckes Rich HolmGuckes Rich HolmGuckes Rich olmGuHckes Rich olmHuHckes Rich B
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\ \___ / |
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(/\/ \ \ /\
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`.___/` /
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.----------------. __ / __ \
| V A P |==O)))==) \) /
`----------------' `--' `.__,' \
| Tim |
\ /
______( (_ / \______
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`--{__________) \/
*REDROBCIRENEGREDROBCIRENEGREDROBCIRENEGREDROBCIRENEGREDROBCIRENEGREDROBCIRENE/
G I have recieved e-mail from: Ted Frank, David Del^HLaney, Kibo, Serdar G
E Argic, J. Michael Straczynski, Joel Furr, R
N Max Borisoff, Eddie Saxe, David Lawrence, E
E Tim Pierce, James Parry, Ron Echeverri, D
R Barbera Abernathy, and President Clinton R
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T "Ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting T
W ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting." --Neal Pert, YYZ W
I_______________________________________________I'm his biggest fan!__________I
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T | | _\ /| SUX, man! / (o- / \| T
W | __\ <_o)\o- / / __ /\ | W
I | | \ Heh Heh Heh / .) / | I
I \ || \ / Huh Huh Huh / __ &/ / \ | I
F | |__ _ \ / \ (____ *) - | | F
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F |_____/ \__________\ T
TWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTWTWIIFTW
ISN'T MY ENTERPRISE |<00|_????? I SPENT FIVE HOURS MAKING IT!!!
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~!@#$%^&*()_+{}|:"<>?`-=[]\;',./~!@#$%^&*()_+{}|:"<>?`-=[]\;',./~!@#$%^&*()_+{}
This sig is <a href="http://zucchini.cs.adelaide.edu.au:2112/ic-1.html">HTML</a>
ready.
:w
:wq
Dear Friends,
My name is Dave Rhodes. In September 1988 my car was
--
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\/\/\/\/\ * * /\ * * /\/\/\/\/
Eddie Saxe \/\/\/\/\ * * / \ * * /\/\/\/\/
(sa...@sgi.com) \/\/\/\/\ * * / \ * * /\/\/\/\/ This whitespace
Tjames Madison
Eddie Saxe <sa...@auberon.mti.sgi.com> wrote:
: Wow! It sure is good to be up to the level of Freshman here on this
: notesfile! I can't wait until I'm here on this Usenet BBS as long as Jaffo
: has been here. Maybe the cool folks will let me sit at their table, then.
Isn't that some kind of honor? It is like being made King of England by
Dudley Moore.
Now Jaffo, MY SWORN ENEMY, may flail at me again while I file my teeth
into razor sharp points with a piece of flint.
["clever" .sig snipped]
Where is the part with the Inner Cycle on the enormous bicycle? That was
always my favorite one.
Eddie Saxe
In article <65qr00$6tk$1...@quasar.dimensional.com>,
Lisa Rea <lis...@dim.com> wrote:
>You are as old as the hills, and the people who matter (me) know it.
Old? Old? Me? I'm *young*, *young* I tell you! Why, just the other day, my
mommy picked out my clothes for me. Don't tell my wife.
>Squeezes,
>Lisa Pea-Pea, who is a baby and is wetting her diaper right now!
Please take your dirty talk to alt.sex.fetish.watersports. And email.
Eddie
--
Cannot open ~/.signature: No such file or directory
Tjames Madison
Joseph Michael Bay <jm...@leland.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
: tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) writes:
: >Joseph Bay keeps kicking me. Plez make him stop.
: Am not!
THAN IM SORRY I PUNCHEDED U IN THE FACE!!! I THOT IT WUZ U WHO KICKEDED
ME!!! I WILL MAKE IT UP TO U!!! U R ALOWED TO BE A MEMER OF THE BAZOOKA
JOE CLUB!!!
JUST GET A TATU OF BAZUKA JOE AND U R IN!!! ME AND LISA PEA R ALREDY
MEMERS (I AM PRESADENT!!!] AND WE GO AROUND PUNCHENG THE FACE UF PEEPUL IN
WHO DONT LISTUN TO US OR DO WAT WE SAY!!!
Lisa Rea
So then, Ant of Truism <fo...@null.net> is all like:
>Wow. That's _exactly_ how the tables were laid out at the diry movie
>awards scene in Vegas in _Boogie Nights_. How did you people find time
>to do all those cameos?
OK. I wasn't going to talk about this, but I am going to talk about
it.
This is: My Very Penisy Thanksgiving Holiday.
1. So, this guy who is a foaf oaf comes over for Thanksgiving. He is
really tall. I hope that none of the parties involved read this.
Somebody else tells me that he is "proportional to his height" or
something along those lines. I say, "I wish you hadn't told me that. I
really did not want or need to know that."
2. Said tall guy, hung like an ox, I presume, out of the blue starts
saying, "Lisa. Lisa! Lisa! Lisa!!" I say, "What?" He says, "LISA!
LISA! LISA!" this time gesturing for me to come over to where he is. I
do. He hands me a walking stick. He says, "I made this." I touch it
gingerly and say, "Wow. That is nice." He says, "NO! Don't touch it
like a GIRL! GRAB IT! FEEL IT! COME ON, LISA!!!" I take the stick and
turn it over, fondling and admiring it. "Wow. That is really nice.
That's a good stick. You say you made it yourself?"* "LISA! PUT IT IN
YOUR MOUTH! SWALLOW IT!!! SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!!! COME ON!!!
HURRY!!! NOW! NOW! NOW!!!!" Frightened and a little confused, I
comply. Some combination of fear and lack of recent sword-swallowing
practice causes my throat to clench a little. "Kugh," I say. "BITCH!"
he screams, "Was that a GAG reflex??? TAKE IT OUT!!! YOU DON'T DESERVE
A STICK LIKE THIS!!!"
3. Friday, I go see Boogie Nights. Yadda yadda.
***SPOILER FOLLOWS***
Get to the end. Woooo. Been there, seen that. Really. This guy I knew
once was telling me some big sad story of how he was almost a virgin
because he kept on trying and trying but had only met one woman who
could accommodate him. He's showing me with his hands some thing and
I'm thinking this is some big fish story and calling him a big phony
liar and stuff, and finally, I say, "Oh, prove it." He proves it. It
was no more than *maybe* an inch shorter, but the GIRTH. Oh, man, it
is creeping me out even now. (And yes, I do always make people show me
their winkies. So blah blah joke blah joke blah. SHUT UP and WHIP IT
OUT, BOY-EEEE!!!)
But anyway, and my point being: What is the big deal? Shoot. You'd
think people'd never seen a winky before. Sheesh. I thought they said
it was BIG. Is that the joke? Did I just give away the ending? Oh,
man, I'll add a SPOILER thing now. Sorry.
4. Then, I was sitting in my house, and this whole row of soldiers
wearing flesh-colored helmets knocked down my door and saw my house
all messy and I tried to put on one of their helmets but they wouldn't
let me, and then I dreamt that I was building a house on the beach and
the tide kept coming in and destroying all my hard work, and then I
had a dream that I was bored and I dreamt about fish and had fish for
dinner!
*This is where I start lying within this numbered list item.
Everything preceding the asterisk is true. Really.
Lisa Rea
So then, sa...@auberon.mti.sgi.com (Eddie Saxe) is all like:
>In article <34836fb4...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
>>THE FRESHMEN
>>
>>Steve Ehrbar
>>Leah Verre
>>Tom Scudder
>>Michael Egan
>>Tlerll
>>Michael Warner
>>Eddie Saxe
>>B. Chas Parisher
>Wow! It sure is good to be up to the level of Freshman here on this
>notesfile! I can't wait until I'm here on this Usenet BBS as long as Jaffo
>has been here. Maybe the cool folks will let me sit at their table, then.
I noticed this! I noticed this! I WIN!
I just didn't care because I was too mad at only getting to sit at one
table, even though I have enough butts to sit at a lot of tables!
You are as old as the hills, and the people who matter (me) know it.
Squeezes,
Lisa Pea-Pea, who is a baby and is wetting her diaper right now!
Roger Douglas
On Sat, 29 Nov 1997 14:02:38 -0600, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
>THE COOL TABLE
>
Hi all, sorry I'm late. It's HELL of a journey from Austria, you know.
What with the four hour stop-over in Irkutsk, a mix-up with the
tickets in Teheran and then the flight from Lagos to Lorenco Marques
getting diverted to Port Moresby because of bad weather in the Andes,
it took a bit longer than I expected.
Oh hi, Maelstrom. Where did you get to after we got off the train in
Bombay? Well, never mind, we'll discuss it later.
Where am I gonna sit? Jeez, is that the only spare seat?
HiBruceHiALexHiBillHiRalphHiStefan...
O.K. WHO LEFT THIS GLASS OF PUKE HERE????
Yeah, yeah, very funny.
Bastards.
Typical. No CHYX on my table, again.
HEY! DIANNE! Where you been, baby?
DI-AAAAANNE... <Throws bead roll>
Woohoo, great shot! Sorry Darla, you want me to come over and get it
out of there?
Oh shit. Oh, come on guys, I was just havin' a bit of fun...
<is ejected by lunchroom security guards>
Huh! So much for the COOL table. Gonna bring peanut butter and
vegemite sandwiches and eat them in the park from now on.
--R.
James Kibo Parry
tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) wrote:
>
> Joseph Michael Bay <jm...@leland.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
> :
> : tja...@pigdog.org (Tjames Madison) writes:
> : >
> : > Joseph Bay keeps kicking me. Plez make him stop.
> :
> : Am not!
>
> THAN IM SORRY I PUNCHEDED U IN THE FACE!!! I THOT IT WUZ U WHO KICKEDED
> ME!!! I WILL MAKE IT UP TO U!!! U R ALOWED TO BE A MEMER OF THE BAZOOKA
> JOE CLUB!!!
>
> JUST GET A TATU OF BAZUKA JOE AND U R IN!!! ME AND LISA PEA R ALREDY
> MEMERS (I AM PRESADENT!!!] AND WE GO AROUND PUNCHENG THE FACE UF PEEPUL IN
> WHO DONT LISTUN TO US OR DO WAT WE SAY!!!
WE CAN DO IT BECUZ ITS A FREE COUNTRY !!!!1 ANYWAY IM NOT PUNCHEING HIM
IM KISSING HIM WITH MY FIST !!!!!!!!!1 ALSO I BEAT UP MATT mCirvin TO MAKE
HIM GIVE ME HIS ONLY TWO REMAINING MEEMS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
-- K.
If this were a repost, I'd
have to say "!!!!!!!!!!!!2" !!!!!!!1
Maelstrom
Roger....@removethis.tafensw.edu.au (Roger Douglas) wrote thus:
>Oh hi, Maelstrom. Where did you get to after we got off the train in
>Bombay? Well, never mind, we'll discuss it later.
If Mr. Douglas knew how much a prostitute costs in Bombay he wouldn't have
to ask this silly question would he girls and boys?
--Maelstrom(I'd sell my bicycle for a woman but I don't want to walk home)
"It was a simple question - What is "kibology". I don't understand
your answer, if that was an answer Eddie. I hope this isn't something
that I obviously should know about - how degrading."
Susan <Sus...@fix.net>
Thomas R Scudder
: Jaffo wrote:
: >
: > THE COOL TABLE
: >
: > THE FRESHMEN
: > Tom Scudder
Hey, kewl, I'm the only freshman who gets to sit at the cool table!
(BTW, how did you determine freshman status? I'd think having a 3-year
old post in Ellen's arkive would qualify one for upperclassman status,
but there you go.)
--
Tom Scudder aka tom...@umich.edu <*> http://www-personal.umich.edu/~tomscud
UM Gilbert & Sullivan Society presents PRINCESS IDA *THIS* *WEEK* *ONLY*
Lydia Mendelssohn Theatre - Dec. 4-6 8 PM, Dec 6-7 2PM.
Ticket info: (313)761-7855
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 1 Dec 1997 13:45:02 GMT, Thomas R Scudder said:
:: Jaffo wrote:
:: >
:: > THE COOL TABLE
:: > Thomas R. Scudder
:: >
:: > THE FRESHMEN
:: > Tom Scudder
:
:Hey, kewl, I'm the only freshman who gets to sit at the cool table!
:
:(BTW, how did you determine freshman status? I'd think having a 3-year
:old post in Ellen's arkive would qualify one for upperclassman status,
:but there you go.)
Freshmen status is absolutely, completely meaningless. I should have gone
with my original idea and used Kibo's 1991 list at that table. <G>
Michael Straight
On 30 Nov 1997, Eddie Saxe wrote:
> In article <34836fb4...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
> >THE FRESHMEN
> >
> >Steve Ehrbar
> >Leah Verre
> >Tom Scudder
> >Michael Egan
> >Tlerll
> >Michael Warner
> >Eddie Saxe
> >B. Chas Parisher
>
> Wow! It sure is good to be up to the level of Freshman here on this
> notesfile! I can't wait until I'm here on this Usenet BBS as long as Jaffo
> has been here. Maybe the cool folks will let me sit at their table, then.
Wow! Jaffo trolled Eddie Saxe into posting his big-long-Kibo-wannabe
.signature! Next thing you know, some newbie like that J.C. Jachimiak
fellow will troll somebody REALLY big like Stephen WILL Tanner!!!!!!!
SMTIRCAHIAGEHLT
B. Chas Parisher
You mean someone actually reads my posts?
K-Narly.
Although, what this has to do with the Verve Pipe I have no idea.
--B. Chas Parisher
L Shelton Bumgarner
On Sat, 29 Nov 1997 14:02:38 -0600, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
>THE COOL TABLE
>
>Carlos May
>Gardner Trask
>Ian York
>David DeLaney
>Louis Nick
>Ben Weiner
>Bruce Ediger
>fB
>Yonderboy
>Bill Newcomb
>Ralph <-- Pretends Otherwise
>Stefan Kapusniak
>Roger Douglas
>The Philosopher From Hell
>Michael Straight
>Karlo Takki
>Thomas R. Scudder
>Samantha Wilkinson
>Eli M. Balin
>
>THE KIBO TABLE
>
>Kibo
>Matt McIrvin
>Maelstrom
>Nick Bensema
>Stephen Will Tanner
>
>THE ULTRA-COOL TABLE
>
>Tom Richardson
Not seen lately
>Tjames Madison
>Joe Bay
>Teg Pipes
>ETP
>Lisa Higginz
>Yonderboy
>Kia Mennie
>Ted Mennie
>Louis Nick
>
>THE "ADULT" TABLE
>
>Dianne Stanley
>Darla
>FMR Ranger
>E. Holmes
>****** *****
>
>THE ANGST TABLE
>
>Nick Bensema
Hmmm, howcome he gets to sit a _two_ tables?
>Lee Bumgarner
>Jaffo
>
>THE POLITICS TABLE <-- Defunct
>
>Jaffo
>Andy Damick
>Louis Nick
I was really sad when that table was killed. And just when I started
reading it, too. (anyone who wants to start it up again can just post
the same stuff you would otherwise post to alt.politics.jaffo to MY
vanity newsfroup!)
lee
--
L. Shelton Bumgarner -- Keeper of the Great Renaming FAQ
Nattering Nabob of Negativism * http://www.nottowayez.net/~leebum
news:alt.society.generation-x.ls-bumgarner * The Angst Table
Eddie Saxe
In article <Pine.A41.3.95L.97120...@login1.isis.unc.edu>,
Michael Straight <stra...@email.unc.edu> wrote:
>
>Wow! Jaffo trolled Eddie Saxe into posting his big-long-Kibo-wannabe
>.signature! Next thing you know, some newbie like that J.C. Jachimiak
>fellow will troll somebody REALLY big like Stephen WILL Tanner!!!!!!!
ARRRRRRRGGGGGH! Trolled! For the second time in a week! Curse you, Jaffo,
for making a mockery of me in public! Oh, you'll get yours, my pretty, just
you wait; and your little dog Furrfu, too!
P.S. Are you gonna finish those fries?
Butt-head
--
Me me me me me me pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeee!
Leah Verre
Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote in article
<34836fb4...@news.onramp.net>...
> THE FRESHMEN
>
> Steve Ehrbar
> Leah Verre
> Tom Scudder
> Michael Egan
> Tlerll
> Michael Warner
> Eddie Saxe
> B. Chas Parisher
Oh Jesus. The last time I was a freshman I was filled with more angst and
personal discomfort than all of the angst table combined. Does this new
list mean I'm in for more of the same? Should I file this under
"cyber-angst"? If so, I'm going home now and you can all just take a big
horseshoe-shaped bite out of my butt. And ... and ... you can sit around
and watch repeated viewings of the trailer for The Postman ... for all I
care .. Jeez ....
Also, you forgot to mention herr Sleepbot. He should be sitting at the
Waterworld table.
-Leah Paranoia
Leah Verre
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote in article
<kibo-01129...@10.0.2.15>...
ALRIGHT THAT IS ENOUGH!!!! I'm turning this table around and we are going
STRAIGHT HOME!!!
And no memes for ANY OF YOU.
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 29 Nov 1997 21:25:30 GMT, Karlo Takki said:
:Jaffo, you bastard. I want to sit at THE ANGRY TABLE.
:I DEMAND TO SIT AT THE ANGRY TABLE. IT IS MY *RIGHT*
:TO SIT AT THE ANGRY TABLE. FUKKER.
This is funnier if you know that I was originally going to call that "THE
BITCH TABLE."
:AND ANOTHER THING:
:
:Every time the newsreader on the BBC mentions the word
:"HECTARES" while outlining Mugabe's plan to redistribute
:land in Zimbabwe, the whole class giggles uncontrollably.
I am swelling with pride.
:AND ANOTHER THING:
:
:You're going to clone Nick?
Some people can stand up and move around the room when they want. Some people
can TRANSCEND THEIR OWN STEREOTYPES!
:GIVE ME A SEAT AT THE ANGRY TABLE OR I'LL KILL THIS MEME -->*
What have you done with Louis Nick?
Jaffo
--
"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.
-- Donald Trump (to Larry King)
http://rampages.onramp.net/~jaffo/
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 1 Dec 1997 18:44:18 GMT, Eddie Saxe said:
:ARRRRRRRGGGGGH! Trolled! For the second time in a week! Curse you, Jaffo,
:for making a mockery of me in public! Oh, you'll get yours, my pretty, just
:you wait; and your little dog Furrfu, too!
Am I being compared to Joel Furr here? I've always wanted to be as cool as
Joel Furr.
ALL OF YOU PEOPLE STOP POSTING TO USENET AND GET A LIFE! I HATE YOU ALL SO
MUCH! YOU SHOULD BE AS COOL AS ME! I'M GOING TO ANOTHER RENASSIANCE FESTIVAL
SO I CAN BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF SOME ACCOUNTING GEEK WITH MY PADDED SWORD
(IYKWIM).
WE DON'T PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS BECAUSE THAT'S FOR DORKS. ALL THE REALLY
KOOOOOL PEOPLE USE REAL SWORDS NOW!!!!
I USE A REAL SWORD BECAUSE I LIVE IN REALITY NOW, UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU
PATHETIC FOOLS WASTING YOUR TIME ON THE INFORMATION SUPER-PORNWAY!!!!!
:P.S. Are you gonna finish those fries?
THESE BE NOT FRIES, KNAVE! THESE BE HUNKS OF POTATOE! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND
THESE STRANGE "FRIES" OF WHICH YOU SPEAK!
YOUR MODERN WAYS ARE STRANGE TO ME! SOY CAVEMAN! I CROSS THE STREET AND CRY,
"OH MY, WHAT IS THIS STRANGE METAL CHARIOT!" AND THEN MY BUDDIES AT THE LAW
FIRM LAUGH AT ME AND SAY, "HAHAHAHAHA MISTER JAFFO-FURR CAVEMAN! THAT IS JUST
CAR!"
BUT I DO NOT CARE WHEN THEY MOCK ME, BECAUSE ALTHOUGH I AM NAIVE AND
DISCONNECTED FROM ALL YOUR EVIL "TECHNOLOGY" AT LEAST I HAVE A LIFE!!!!!
STROKE MY LEMUR YOU PATHETIC DORKS!!!!
Your Frend,
Unfrozen Caveman Jaffo
P.S. I have a secret hotmail account.
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on Mon, 01 Dec 1997 01:13:48 GMT, Roger Douglas
said:
:Huh! So much for the COOL table. Gonna bring peanut butter and
:vegemite sandwiches and eat them in the park from now on.
Actually, the people at the ULTRA-COOL table don't sit in the lunchroom
anymore. They're all outside in the parking lot smoking and talking about
sex.
And sometimes, they even smoke TOBACCO!!!!!
Jaffo
crisis king
>Kibo
>Matt McIrvin
>Maelstrom
>Nick Bensema
>Stephen Will Tanner
Look, dammit, the Kibo table seats ONE PERSON. And that's IT. And
mentioning Nick Bensema and Maelstrom in the same breath as Matt
McIrvin and Stephen Will Tanner will get you caned in Singapore.
>THE FRESHMEN
>Eddie Saxe
Eddie Saxe has been here longer than you have, Mentosmaster.
rone
--
"They're trying to change the moderation of de.admin.news.announce at the
moment, and they keep alleging things and calling each other names. And
there's a lot of tense squabbling on the wording and the interpretation of
obscure legal issues. It's all very German really." <boui...@cs.uni-sb.de>
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 30 Nov 1997 05:01:00 GMT, Tjames Madison said:
:Eddie Saxe <sa...@auberon.mti.sgi.com> wrote:
:
:: Wow! It sure is good to be up to the level of Freshman here on this
:: notesfile! I can't wait until I'm here on this Usenet BBS as long as Jaffo
:: has been here. Maybe the cool folks will let me sit at their table, then.
:
:Isn't that some kind of honor? It is like being made King of England by
:Dudley Moore.
You know, just the other day, I was out in the jungle with Andy Damick and we
took this whacky potion that SWITCHED OUR BRANES!
So I spent the rest of the day riding around with Kevin Neal and Didymos,
lifting heavy shit at Stewart Theater, and he spent the day doing my
accounting homework.
Then, at the end, I had to run across town in my dad's expensive car so I
could bust into his interview with the Board of Directors at the hospital he
works at and tell them he deserved the promotion.
Then he finally realized that I didn't want to go to medical school and he
turned down the job and we laffed and then our whacky adventure was over.
:Now Jaffo, MY SWORN ENEMY, may flail at me again while I file my teeth
:into razor sharp points with a piece of flint.
Look, if you want me to insult you, you're going to have to do better than
this. Make fun of my new .sig.
Sleepbot ZZ09.4
Roger....@removethis.tafensw.edu.au (Roger Douglas) wrote:
>What with the four hour stop-over in Irkutsk, a mix-up with the
now wait a minute. there's no such thing as Irkutsk, just like
there's no such thing as Kamchatka or Congo or any of those other
goofy RisK countries. they're just fictitious generalities made up to
satisfy boardgamers with supressed needs for Napoleonesque conquest
and bloodlust. pity the new Is, IIIs, Vs and Xs don't fly through the
air nearly as well as the old 3-pointed asterisk-thingies did.
>Huh! So much for the COOL table. Gonna bring peanut butter and
>vegemite sandwiches and eat them in the park from now on.
now wait a minute. there's no such thing as vegemite, just like
there's no such thing as olive loaf or head cheese. those are just
things that parents made up to make their kids appreciate what they
got in their lunch box ("well Billy, if you don't like my bologna &
relish, i could always make you liverwurst & banana. would you like
that? huh? would you Billy? huh? would you like that? such an
ungrateful little cur you are.")
>--R.
(Caution: Shake Well. Remove SPAM-FREE cap prior to Reply.)
................................................................................
. Dan Foley .. dfo...@oz.net .. www.sleepbot.com .... Shall I? [ ]Yes [ ]Twice.
Sleepbot ZZ09.4
"Leah Verre" <leahv.ba...@badaddress.humongous.com> wrote:
>Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote in article
><34836fb4...@news.onramp.net>...
>> THE FRESHMEN
>>
>> Steve Ehrbar
>> Leah Verre
>> Tom Scudder
[cast of thousands, etc etc]
>Also, you forgot to mention herr Sleepbot. He should be sitting at the
>Waterworld table.
<SNIF> yeah. </SNIF>
oh, that's okay. i'll just be one of those wanna-bes, like not really
BEING there, but just sort of hanging around with all the real folks
and doing all the real folk things.
and to think of all the luscious thanks me and Erich got for reviving
the Lobby 7 Chess Club.
<PITY TARGET="_self"> sigh &fnord;</PITY>.
> -Leah Paranoia
paranoia is soooo '96.
which is okay, because angst is soooo '85.
crisis king
>Bev
>Rone
>Michele Tepper
David Sewell
Paul Phillips
Jeff "Video Sex Pope" Coleburn
>THE ORPHANS
>Andrew Jeanes
Juan C. Phrink
Peter Seebach
Rob Furr
Peter Dubuque
Heidi de Wet
John D Salt
M. Otis Beard
Dan Frank
Bill Marcum
Bill Nelson
Barbara Hamel
THE PARTY TABLE
Jeff Gerstmann
Jay C. Jacimiak
Bobby Hodad
Andrew Hime
Joe "Ogre" Rumsey
THE BIFF TABLE
BIFF!!1
BIFFS BROTHER
KIBOLUV!!1
THE KOOK TABLE
Drs. Neutopia
Ludwig/Archimedes Plutonium
Andrew Beckwith
THE OLD FARTS TABLE
Jim Jewett
Scott "~ibo" Ramming
Rich Holmes
Paul Tomblin
Matt "Linux Weenie" Welsh
Mike "OS/2 is LORD" Dahmus
THE NOT-SO-OLD FARTS TABLE
Geoffrey Spear
Andrew Stellman
Craig Dickson
THE TALK.BIZARRE CRYPTO-FASCIST TABLE
Mike DeLong
Brett "Evolve or Perish" Summers
Rowan T. Hamilton
Rocco Caputo
THE ALT.ANGST CAFFEINE JUNKIE TABLE
Stevi Deter
Paul Callahan
Rachel "bah" Perkins
Deb Martinson
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on Tue, 2 Dec 1997 21:35:09 GMT, crisis king said:
:Eddie Saxe has been here longer than you have, Mentosmaster.
Do I get any points for trolling Rone?
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake ro...@netcom.com (crisis king):
>Look, dammit, the Kibo table seats ONE PERSON. And that's IT. And
>mentioning Nick Bensema and Maelstrom in the same breath as Matt
>McIrvin and Stephen Will Tanner will get you caned in Singapore.
If there's one person who knows the spirit and life of
Kibology, it's Ronnie. All should listen.
>Eddie Saxe has been here longer than you have, Mentosmaster.
Dear Eddie Saxe,
Please hire me. I am liking the Silicon Graphics. Much
Visual Basic experience. Send T-Shirt.
Love,
Alex Suterbardowski
--
Alex Suter
"Do you want to know more?"
http://www-cs-students.stanford.edu/~asuter/
Nick S Bensema
In article <roneEK...@netcom.com>, crisis king <ro...@netcom.com> wrote:
>In article <34836fb4...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
>>Kibo
>>Matt McIrvin
>>Maelstrom
>>Nick Bensema
>>Stephen Will Tanner
>
>mentioning Nick Bensema and Maelstrom in the same breath as Matt
>McIrvin and Stephen Will Tanner will get you caned in Singapore.
I'm just curious as to how the hell Maelstrom got into the Kibo Table.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> 98-KUPD Red Card #710563 UIN: 2135445
~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Prepare ship for ludicruos speed!
http://www.climatefacts.org/ - Everyone but the bad boys have to behave.
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 2 Dec 1997 15:36:00 -0700, Nick S Bensema said:
:I'm just curious as to how the hell Maelstrom got into the Kibo Table.
The same way everybody else did. By sucking up to ... I mean...by posting
innovative, entertaining Usenet posts!
Nick S Bensema
In article <349c9c7c...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
>In alt.religion.kibology, on 2 Dec 1997 15:36:00 -0700, Nick S Bensema said:
>
>:I'm just curious as to how the hell Maelstrom got into the Kibo Table.
>
>The same way everybody else did. By sucking up to ... I mean...by posting
>innovative, entertaining Usenet posts!
HEY!
It's not my fault that Kibo and I make up 50 percent of the population
that still remembers the Atari 8-bit computers.
If any of you guys had the emulator, I would have shown you the demo I
wrote too, at least until that weird bug creeped in that I couldn't
figure out and RUINED it.
Come to think of it, Kibo may have the only working beta of that demo now.
Leah Verre
Sleepbot ZZ09.4 <dfo...@SPAM-FREE-oz.net> wrote in article
<662104$f7s$1...@usenet11.supernews.com>...
> "Leah Verre" <leahv.ba...@badaddress.humongous.com> wrote:
>
> >Also, you forgot to mention herr Sleepbot. He should be sitting at the
> >Waterworld table.
>
> <SNIF> yeah. </SNIF>
>
> oh, that's okay. i'll just be one of those wanna-bes, like not really
> BEING there, but just sort of hanging around with all the real folks
> and doing all the real folk things.
Welcome to my world.
>
> and to think of all the luscious thanks me and Erich got for reviving
> the Lobby 7 Chess Club.
Geek.
>
> <PITY TARGET="_self"> sigh &fnord;</PITY>.
Geek to the n'th power, dude.
Can we start a Geek table?
Population one .. yooooouuuu!
> paranoia is soooo '96.
> which is okay, because angst is soooo '85.
Yeah, but fnord is sooooooooooooo so so sssoooooooo 84. And so freakin'
twee to boot.
GEEK!
-Leah (my geekmeter is overloaded) Verre
PS: Do not substitute Charlie Sheen for Emilio Estivez.
Roger Douglas
On Tue, 02 Dec 1997 15:20:13 -0600, ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
>In alt.religion.kibology, on Mon, 01 Dec 1997 01:13:48 GMT, Roger Douglas
>said:
>
>:Huh! So much for the COOL table. Gonna bring peanut butter and
>:vegemite sandwiches and eat them in the park from now on.
>
>Actually, the people at the ULTRA-COOL table don't sit in the lunchroom
>anymore. They're all outside in the parking lot smoking and talking about
>sex.
>
>And sometimes, they even smoke TOBACCO!!!!!
>
See this is typical.
Your so-called "conservative" secretly supports the TOBACCO LOBBY.
* making out that smoking tobacco is Ultra-cool
* linking smoking with sex
* associating smoking with the parking lot -- the milieu of the
ultimate adult status-symbol
* putting down natural foods and a healthy leisure environment
Oh yes, clearly Jaffo would rather have inner city green space
bulldozed to make ever more profitable expanses of parking lots where
the young men of America can smoke drugs and reinforce their
chauvinistic stereotypes of women as sex objects.
Go ahead with your cheap sniggering innuendo, Jaffo.
Go ahead with your smug derision of the simple family tradition of the
home-made packed lunch.
Your real agenda is all too clear.
--R.
p.s actually I think Maelstrom does this sort of thing much better.
Lisa Higginz does it better too, and so does Jaffo himself come to
that.
Does anyone else do it better, or know someone who does?
kearsley
Nick S Bensema wrote:
> HEY!
>
> It's not my fault that Kibo and I make up 50 percent of the population
> that still remembers the Atari 8-bit computers.
Did you actually have one? I did in elementary school and everyone would
laugh at me when I said so. They'd say, "No, dork, that's not a
computer. Ataris are for video games." Then I wouldn't get to play on
the cool playground equipment.
Sarah Kearsley
pikaia @ hotmail . com
Nick S Bensema
In article <34854F...@mx.afrri.usuhs.mil>,
I wasn't even fully accepted on the bulletin boards, because in 1987
(when I was 9) all the kool boards were run with C64's.
So in 1990, after my Atari broke down, my grnadparents gave me their
C64. But I was still just 12, and by the time I turned 14 and grew
a brain, the c64 scene in Arizona started to peter out. I had elite
access on the boards I was deleted from the year before, but I was
also the only one who still called.
So I got an Amiga. Which ROCKED. It actually CAME WITH a speech
synthesizer program that read the Arty Farty poem with PERFECT
METER. And it had a real live MOUSE, too! The coolest thing about
the Amiga was that it had this converter that would let you use it
on your TV, but the horizontal resolution was kind of blurry so most
people couldn't read 80 column text with it. But my vision's pretty
bad anyway so I could read it with ease! I RULED!
Then by the end of the following year, nothing worked for Workbench
1.3 anymore, and eventually everything required me to expand beyond
my budget. So one Christmas I got a 386 for my birthday. And that
problem went away almost never.
But back when I had the Atari 130XE, I was the BOMB because I had TWICE
AS MUCH memory as everyone else, who had 64k. Except those guys who
upgraded their Atari's to 320K or got giant MIO's or black boxes.
John D Salt
In article <roneEKL...@netcom.com>, crisis king <ro...@netcom.com> wrote:
>>THE ORPHANS
>John D Salt
I think Rone just called me a bastard.
I therefore move 400ml of Pimm's to Irkutsk and play my Toxic Death Bean,
thus placing Rone in spoon for Mornington Crescent in three (one-eyed
jacks are wild).
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
John.
--
John D Salt Dept of IS & Computing,| Barr's Law of Recursive Futility
Brunel U, Uxbridge, Middx UB8 3PH | [BLORF]: If you are smart enough
Disclaimers: I speak only for me. | to use one of these... you can
Launcher may train without warning.| probably manage without one.
Gardner S. Trask III
crisis king wrote:
> In article <34836fb4...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
> >THE KIBO TABLE
> >Kibo
Mr. Kibo, sir.
Here is your order of Lemon Chicken.
And this sauce.
here.
with the slice of lemon in it.
that would be 'Lemon Sauce'.
FYI.
HTH.
P.S. The Kitchen Staff respectfully requests you stop pulling the arms off our
complimentary robots.
Signed, MANAGEMENT
Thomas R Scudder
crisis king (ro...@netcom.com) aseioniezi:
: THE KOOK TABLE
: Drs. Neutopia
: Ludwig/Archimedes Plutonium
: Andrew Beckwith
John_Winston
(Dr.) Alexander Abian
J*hn Gr*b*r
--
Tom Scudder aka tom...@umich.edu <*> http://www-personal.umich.edu/~tomscud
UMGASS[1] presents: PRINCESS IDA *THIS* *WEEK* *ONLY*
Dec. 4-6, 8:00 PM, Dec. 6-7 2:00 PM. Lydia[2] Mendelssohn Theatre
Call (313) 761-7855 for ticket info, or see http://www.umich.edu/~umgass
[1] The University of Michigan Gilbert and Sullivan Society
[2] Lydia, Lydia, have you met Lydia, Lydia the tatooed lady?
James Kibo Parry
"Gardner S. Trask III" <tr...@world.std.com> wrote:
STOP CALLING ME A TABLE! I DON'T LIKE YOUR ICKY BONDAGE GAMES!
> Mr. Kibo, sir.
>
> Here is your order of Lemon Chicken.
>
> And this sauce.
>
> here.
>
> with the slice of lemon in it.
>
> that would be 'Lemon Sauce'.
I don't understand. Am I supposed to put this sauce on the chicken,
or is it just for looking?
What if the pieces of chicken are too big? Am I allowed to cut them up?
Also how do I use the lazy susan? It doesn't go around when I give it
a voice command.
It's a fact--the better the Chinese restaurant, the stupider the waiters
assume Kibo is. Kibo has the roundest eyes in the world. And no mouth!
> P.S. The Kitchen Staff respectfully requests you stop pulling the arms off
> our complimentary robots.
They weren't very complementary. Some of them were in weird tertiary colors
like ecru, necru, dacru, and krunkru. Also I didn't MEAN to pull all the
arms off but they MADE me. And I only did it to save them from that
pyromaniac Karlo Takki and his nuclear-powered cigarette lighter.
-- K.
This post is all true.
I hope this isn't
a new bad habit...
Brian D Chase
In article <34854F...@mx.afrri.usuhs.mil>, kearsley <kear...@mnsinc.com> wrote:
>Nick S Bensema wrote:
>> It's not my fault that Kibo and I make up 50 percent of the population
>> that still remembers the Atari 8-bit computers.
>Did you actually have one? I did in elementary school and everyone would
>laugh at me when I said so. They'd say, "No, dork, that's not a
>computer. Ataris are for video games." Then I wouldn't get to play on
>the cool playground equipment.
I used to have a Radio-Shack Color Computer in the shiney mettalic gray
case with 4K of RAM and TRS-80 cassette recorder. Now I have six of
them!!! And they're all wired into my cranium to provide me with
spectacular 9 color psychedelic visions. I've also got an Atari 800, a
600XL and a half dozen VAXES!!!
CANY0N CL1MBER RULZ!!! AUCT10N W3B RULZ!!!1!!!!!! T0UCH MY W00K13!!!!
-brian.
--
---
Brian Chase <(o)> <(o)> http://world.std.com/~bdc/ VAXZilla LIVES!!!
Teg Pipes
b...@world.std.com (Brian D Chase) writes:
> In article <34854F...@mx.afrri.usuhs.mil>, kearsley <kear...@mnsinc.com> wrote:
> >Nick S Bensema wrote:
>
> >> It's not my fault that Kibo and I make up 50 percent of the population
> >> that still remembers the Atari 8-bit computers.
>
> >Did you actually have one? I did in elementary school and everyone would
> >laugh at me when I said so. They'd say, "No, dork, that's not a
> >computer. Ataris are for video games." Then I wouldn't get to play on
> >the cool playground equipment.
>
> I used to have a Radio-Shack Color Computer in the shiney mettalic gray
> case with 4K of RAM and TRS-80 cassette recorder. Now I have six of
> them!!! And they're all wired into my cranium to provide me with
> spectacular 9 color psychedelic visions. I've also got an Atari 800, a
> 600XL and a half dozen VAXES!!!
Yeah, yeah. When I was twelve in 1983 we had a TRS-80 with a cassette
drive which you had to run for FORTY MINUTES to load _Adventure_. My
mom is the only person I know who solved it before figuring out that
the program actually would recognize the verb "fuck". It also had
THE WORST attempt at voice-recognition software possible.
And my eldest sister had to run punch-cards through her computer
at UC Davis when she was an undergrad and THIS WAS HIGH-TECH.
Oh, yeah, and I used to program my Etch-a-Sketch in BASIC when I was
two. When I got older I'd pound rocks into the dirt with my face to
configure my Druid Counting Engine. So I don't wanna hear it,
Atari-boy.
-Teg
caustic liturgy
In article <663r5q$3et$2...@newbabylon.rs.itd.umich.edu>,
Thomas R Scudder <tom...@umich.edu> wrote:
>crisis king (ro...@netcom.com) aseioniezi:
>: THE KOOK TABLE
>: Drs. Neutopia
>: Ludwig/Archimedes Plutonium
>: Andrew Beckwith
>John_Winston
Damn, how could i forget John_-_Winston? Sheesh!
>(Dr.) Alexander Abian
>J*hn Gr*b*r
They don't count; Kibo eats at Abian's table, not the reverse, and
Grubor's just a wannabe. Grubor's a Spice Girl!
rone
alt.yonderboy.whine.whine.whine: i see a great need
--
A chip off the ol' shoulder. ro...@netcom.com
caustic liturgy
In article <34978870...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
>In alt.religion.kibology, on Tue, 2 Dec 1997 21:35:09 GMT, crisis king said:
>:Eddie Saxe has been here longer than you have, Mentosmaster.
>Do I get any points for trolling Rone?
Yeah, you get the point of my sword through your left eye socket.
rone
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on Wed, 3 Dec 1997 21:21:59 GMT, caustic liturgy
said:
:In article <34978870...@news.onramp.net>, Jaffo <ja...@onramp.net> wrote:
:>In alt.religion.kibology, on Tue, 2 Dec 1997 21:35:09 GMT, crisis king said:
:>:Eddie Saxe has been here longer than you have, Mentosmaster.
:>Do I get any points for trolling Rone?
:
:Yeah, you get the point of my sword through your left eye socket.
Somebody needs a hug....
Roger Douglas
On 2 Dec 1997 19:04:10 GMT, "Leah Verre"
<leahv.ba...@badaddress.humongous.com> wrote:
...
>ALRIGHT THAT IS ENOUGH!!!! I'm turning this table around and we are going
>STRAIGHT HOME!!!
>And no memes for ANY OF YOU.
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there
yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we
there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are
we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there
yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we
there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are
we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there
yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we
there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are
we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!!!!!111!!!!!1!
--R.
Roger Douglas
On 3 Dec 1997 14:43:06 GMT, tom...@umich.edu (Thomas R Scudder)
wrote:
>crisis king (ro...@netcom.com) aseioniezi:
>: THE KOOK TABLE
>: Drs. Neutopia
>: Ludwig/Archimedes Plutonium
>: Andrew Beckwith
>
>John_Winston
>(Dr.) Alexander Abian
>J*hn Gr*b*r
Don Saklad
--R.
Karlo Takki
In article <663r5q$3et$2...@newbabylon.rs.itd.umich.edu>
tom...@umich.edu (Thomas R Scudder) writes:
> crisis king (ro...@netcom.com) aseioniezi:
> : THE KOOK TABLE
> : Drs. Neutopia
> : Ludwig/Archimedes Plutonium
> : Andrew Beckwith
>
> John_Winston
JW is not a kook. NOT A KOOK, I tell you. He simply has powers
beyond the comprehension of you mere earthlings.
> (Dr.) Alexander Abian
> J*hn Gr*b*r
J...@webtv.net
St*ph*n B**rs*y
D*n S*kl*d
K*rl* T*kk*
Oops.
--
Paid for by the Committee to Elect John_-_Winston. Yogi the
Telepathic Dog, Treasurer.
Darla
Nick S Bensema wrote:
> So in 1990, after my Atari broke down, my grandparents gave me their
> C64. ...
> So I got an Amiga. ...
> So one Christmas I got a 386 for my birthday. ...
> But back when I had the Atari 130XE, ...
Yes. Well! <brightly, wiping hands on apron> And have all of you at
_this_ table finished your glasses of puke? Good! Ready for Salad
with a Bug? That's _fine_! <waggling finger> But save room for the
Cold, Gluey Lasagne! And don't forget our famous Moldy Apple Crisp
for dessert! More Stale Garlic Bread, Nickie?
Darla
--- Kibological Lunchroom Lady
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake ro...@netcom.com (caustic liturgy):
>rone
>alt.yonderboy.whine.whine.whine: i see a great need
I WUV YOU ALL IN LOWERCASE!
You are a beautiful person.
Love always,
Alex
Brian D Chase
In article <xd94t4q...@fruitfly.i-have-a-misconfigured-system-so-shoot-me>,
Teg Pipes <t...@fruitfly.berkeley.edu> wrote:
>Oh, yeah, and I used to program my Etch-a-Sketch in BASIC when I was
>two. When I got older I'd pound rocks into the dirt with my face to
>configure my Druid Counting Engine. So I don't wanna hear it,
>Atari-boy.
Bzzzzzzzzzzzt... Obviously you've NEVER programmed an Etch-a-Sketch in
your whole life you D.C.E. LAM3R. Every Etch-a-Sketch ever made uses the
Lovelace subset of Logo. Around 1982 there were some rumors of a 3D
Etch-a-Sketch-and-Spell coming out, but ET disassembled the only known
prototype for contacting his homeworld. GOD DAMN FUKKIN SPACE PUPPET!
BTW, SCREW U & UR D.C.E.!!! I had a 1Hz 128bit Cup of Rocks... My
CR128/.000001MHz would kick your D.C.E. in the gonads any day.
Sincerely,
Brian "Logo Lover" Chase.
Stephen Will Tanner
Roger Douglas (Roger....@removethis.tafensw.edu.au) wrote:
: On 2 Dec 1997 19:04:10 GMT, "Leah Verre"
: <leahv.ba...@badaddress.humongous.com> wrote:
: ...
: >ALRIGHT THAT IS ENOUGH!!!! I'm turning this table around and we are going
: >STRAIGHT HOME!!!
: >And no memes for ANY OF YOU.
: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there
: yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we
: there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are
: we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there
: yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we
: there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are
Tjames: I'm drawing an invisible line down the seat. You better stay on
your side, because I put the FUNK in dysfunctional.
Jaffo: Yeah? Well, what if my hand just happens to walk over there like
this...[*BZZZT*] Owwww!
Tjames: I said it was an invisible line, not an imaginary line! Cower
before my forcefield of power!
Jaffo: You know who does that better than you?
Tjames: ARRRR! I'll get you for that! [lunge] [*BZZZZZZZZT*]
: I'M GOING TO BE SICK!!!!!!111!!!!!1!
[holds up fanc glass with a little umbrella in it]
<Wayne's-world-mode> Dude...if you're gonna spew...spew in here.
--
Stephen Tanner (tan...@math.wisc.edu)
Maelstrom
In article <34836fb4...@news.onramp.net>,
ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote:
>
> THE COOL TABLE
<snip>
> THE KIBO TABLE
<snip>
> THE ULTRA-COOL TABLE
<snip>
> THE "ADULT" TABLE
<snip>
> THE ANGST TABLE
<snip>
> THE POLITICS TABLE <-- Defunct
<snip>
> THE ANGRY TABLE
<snip>
> THE FRESHMEN
<snip>
BUT WHAT ABOUT...
THE L00SER TABLE!!!111!
Join us as we all turn to stare at everyone that was too low and too scummy to
make it onto Jaffos post
L00SER TABLE
Paul Sturm
Jill Asher
Bobby Hodad
Lee Merkel
Rich Holmes
M. Scott Ramming
Spot
They're cringing and muttering quietly to each other, hoping they won't be
noticed and wishing they'd stayed home watching Star Trek. Spot is sadly
wagging his tail which keeps getting in the punch bowl and Lee Bumgarner is
trying not too look at them because he keeps getting flashbacks to Prom night.
Meanwhile the Kibo table is flying around the room shooting off plutonium
mentos which is the freshest flavour known to mankind. Maelstrom is tabletop
dancing, dodging the bullets which are being fired at him from the angry table.
A giant H falls of the Kibo table and crushes the loser table to death thus end
their pointless lives and putting them out of their misery.
THE END!
--Maelstrom
E Teflon Piano
In article <ubIg0s0K...@zetnet.co.uk>, stefan...@zetnet.co.uk
(Stefan Kapusniak) wrote:
} such angst inducing posts is only to be expected. Remember to
} send YOUR large brown envelopes STUFFED with any HARD-CURRENCY
} of your choice to the Institute of Missapplied Psychometry in
} order to retain the worlds formost experts in this field of law.
Offer not valid in Candada or Quebecks, where we would go skiing this
year, except we always have to tote a bale of the local currency with us
just to buy a Labatt's Cinquante and it puts us over the limit for carryon
luggage. No more of those damn beaver nickels, neither!!! Funny tho they
are.
--
E Teflon Piano is now AppleEvent aware, and is running under Mac OS 8.
ŠE[dibs] 1994-1997
Karlo Takki
In article <kibo-03129...@10.0.2.15>
AVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVIS
BEAVIS ________________BEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVI
SBEAV / \ISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBE
AVISB/ / \ \ \EAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAV
ISBEA| |VISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVIS
BEAV/ /BEAVISBEAVISBEABLEBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAV
ISB| ___\ \| | / /ISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEA
VIS| / \VISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEA
BEA| | \BEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVI
VI/ | _ |SBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAV
SB| | \ |
EA| | _\ /|
VI| __\ <_o)\o-
SB| | \
EAV\ || \ Fire! Fire!! FIRE!!!
ISBE| |__ _ \
AVIS| | (*___)
BEAV| | _ | /
ISBE| | //_______/ BEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEABLE
AVIS| / | UUUUU__ BEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVIS
BEAVI\| \_nnnnnn_\-\ BEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVIS
SBEAVI| ____________/ BEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVIS
BEAVIS| /BEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBEAVISBE
P.S. I am not Joe Bay.
--
K. Michael Takki ( ) official business (|) butt
Grenada University ( ) unofficial business (.) not a butt
Veterinary School (x) other (x) who, me?
"Urine is wonderful . . . I'm high on urine." -- Bruce Ames
Nick S Bensema
In article <15152D8855DCF6F0.082243A4...@library-proxy.airnews.net>,
L Shelton Bumgarner <lee...@nottowayez.net> wrote:
>
>Now that you mention it, I didn't have too bad a prom night. All the
>Cool Table people didn't expect me to have a date, much less come to
>the thing, but I did.
Lee had a date for the prom?
You have no right to complain about high school anymore. Stop now.
You have successfully demonstrated the ability to convince a female
to spend an entire evening in your company.
You have WON.
Furthermore, everyone on a.r.k hates WiReD too, except the issue with the
Atari stuff in it.
YOU WIN AGAIN!
And finally, nobody from the exkloosiv elite society of "The WELL" even
post to alt.religion.kibology anymore.
THE WELL FORFEITS! LEE WINS AGAIN!
You've scored the hat trick, and you can give these issues a rest.
CAPEESH?
Quit it before you turn into Grubor.
Elocutus of Borg
In article <34854F...@mx.afrri.usuhs.mil>,> > HEY!
> >
> > It's not my fault that Kibo and I make up 50 percent of the population
> > that still remembers the Atari 8-bit computers.
>
> Did you actually have one? I did in elementary school and everyone would
> laugh at me when I said so. They'd say, "No, dork, that's not a
> computer. Ataris are for video games." Then I wouldn't get to play on
> the cool playground equipment.
I learned to program on an Atari 800XL and was _very_ disappointed to
find out that you _couldn't_ start a nuclear war with one. Now, I'm
doing C programming for Wall Street -- about as close to my dream as I
will ever come.
--Elocutus
-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet
Two-Face
> THE COOL TABLE
<snip>
> THE KIBO TABLE
<snip>
> THE ULTRA-COOL TABLE
<snip>
> THE "ADULT" TABLE
<snip>
> THE ANGST TABLE
<snip>
> THE POLITICS TABLE <-- Defunct
<snip>
> THE ANGRY TABLE
<snip>
> THE FRESHMEN
<snip>
Well since no-one here knows me, I'll just sit in the corner and draw on
the walls...
|----------------------------------------------|
__| A PICTORAL REPRESENTATION OF JAFFO'S MOTHER: |__
\ |______________________________________________| /
/ \| |/ \
---- ----
__________________________
/ shipwreck \---------------------
/ ________________ \=-=-=-=--==-=--=-=-===-
/ \ |=--=-==-=--=-=
| \ |-------------------
| >>>>>\. <<<<<< \ |========================= =
| \ / \|=--==-=-=-=--==- -- -
| . | | \=-=-=-=-=-=--==--=-=-==-=--=
| / | * \=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
| . \ . \-----------------
| o o \\____/_. \=-=-=-=-=--=-==--==-=-
| \=-=-=-
| ,: . \-------------------
| ========================= \
| ; .. ;;. ;.; /
| ;. . ; ;. ; :. /
| ; .; ., . :;. /
\__________\___________/_________/
||
||
||
_||_ \
/| |\ \
/ |> > \ mentos-thrash
| | | | |
| | p| | |
M | o| | my son produces so much
| d| M poor sap!
|__|
| |
| |
| |
| | d nt
| | e a
| | c c cash rewa rds
| | s
| |
|_ |__
=-=-=--==-=-=-=--==-=-=-=-=-=-=--==-=--=-=-==-=-
t w o - f a c e: ^ [ two-...@the-emporium.demon.co.uk ]
t h e e m p o r i u m: ^ [ http://www.the-emporium.demon.co.uk ]
p j h a r v e y: ^ [ even the son of god had to die my darling ]
^
L Shelton Bumgarner
>They're cringing and muttering quietly to each other, hoping they won't be
>noticed and wishing they'd stayed home watching Star Trek. Spot is sadly
>wagging his tail which keeps getting in the punch bowl and Lee Bumgarner is
>trying not too look at them because he keeps getting flashbacks to Prom night.
Now that you mention it, I didn't have too bad a prom night. All the
Cool Table people didn't expect me to have a date, much less come to
the thing, but I did.
fin
lee
--
L. Shelton Bumgarner -- Keeper of the Great Renaming FAQ
Nattering Nabob of Negativism * http://www.nottowayez.net/~leebum
news:alt.society.generation-x.ls-bumgarner * The Angst Table
caustic liturgy
In article <6653c5$28p$1...@usenet87.supernews.com>,
Karlo Takki <kta...@artcrime.com> wrote:
>K. Michael Takki ( ) official business (|) butt
>Grenada University ( ) unofficial business (.) not a butt
>Veterinary School (x) other (x) who, me?
"Grenada sucks eggs! Grenada sucks eggs!"
Maelstrom
ja...@onramp.net (Jaffo) wrote thus:
>Do I get any points for trolling Rone?
Well it's kinda like a Star trek troll. Entertaining, but you lose points
for the low difficulty rating. Everybody should put a "who's cool" list in
their sig and see how long it is until his brane explodes.
--Maelstrom
"It was a simple question - What is "kibology". I don't understand
your answer, if that was an answer Eddie. I hope this isn't something
that I obviously should know about - how degrading."
Susan <Sus...@fix.net>
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on Thu, 4 Dec 1997 07:04:51 +0000, Two-Face said:
:Well since no-one here knows me, I'll just sit in the corner and draw on
:the walls...
:
:
: |----------------------------------------------|
:__| A PICTORAL REPRESENTATION OF JAFFO'S MOTHER: |__
:\ |______________________________________________| /
:/ \| |/ \
:---- ----
:
: __________________________
: / shipwreck \---------------------
: / ________________ \=-=-=-=--==-=--=-=-===-
:/ \ |=--=-==-=--=-=
:| \ |-------------------
:| >>>>>\. <<<<<< \ |========================= =
:| \ / \|=--==-=-=-=--==- -- -
:| . | | \=-=-=-=-=-=--==--=-=-==-=--=
:| / | * \=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
:| . \ . \-----------------
:| o o \\____/_. \=-=-=-=-=--=-==--==-=-
:| \=-=-=-
:| ,: . \-------------------
:| ========================= \
:| ; .. ;;. ;.; /
:| ;. . ; ;. ; :. /
:| ; .; ., . :;. /
:\__________\___________/_________/
You forgot the moustache.
: ||
: ||
: ||
Please remove excess neck.
: _||_
: /| |\
: / |> > \
This part is correct.
: | | | | |
: | | p| | |
: M | o| | my son produces so much
: | d| M
Actually, mother's arms have become symmetrical since this picture was taken.
: |__|
: | |
: | |
: | |
: | |
: | |
: | |
: | |
: | |
: |_ |__
And these feet need to be MUCH bigger.
Gard Trask does this better than me.
Jaffo
--
"Netscape's a kind of old-style browser. It will be obsolete
next year." - Larry Ellison, Oracle
Roger Douglas
So ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema) turns round and goes:
>In article <15152D8855DCF6F0.082243A4...@library-proxy.airnews.net>,
>L Shelton Bumgarner <lee...@nottowayez.net> wrote:
>>
>>Now that you mention it, I didn't have too bad a prom night. All the
>>Cool Table people didn't expect me to have a date, much less come to
>>the thing, but I did.
>
>Lee had a date for the prom?
>
>You have no right to complain about high school anymore. Stop now.
>
>You have successfully demonstrated the ability to convince a female
>to spend an entire evening in your company.
>
>You have WON.
UNLESS his date was Eve Eden, the coolest CHYK in school and also leader of
the cheerleader squad with rich parents and perfect skin, even though she
lost her virginity when she was ELEVEN and wearing her first training bra.
You see EVE is supposed to be going to the Prom with Randy Spunk, the
captain of the football team AND champion surfer in his spare time, except
there hads been a terrible mix-up and Randy's father Milverton J. Spunk III,
Chairman of the School Board of Governors, and owner of the town's nucular
power station, has been forced by his wife, Eugenia, to arrange for Randy to
escort Felicity, daughter of Eugenia's old school friend Millicent who is on
a visit from Arkansas where her father nearly ran for Governor one time.
So anyhow, Lee is the only kid left with no date, so in desperation, Eve
gets Lee's friend Nick (or leastways, the nearest to a friend Lee ever has)
to tell Lee that she has turned down all other offers so that Lee can take
her to the Prom. So then Lee is all like romantic and shit and shyly invites
her, and she overcomes the gag reaction and sweetly accepts, and then when
they get to the Prom, and he wants to dance with her and stuff, she tells
him he is a REAL CREEP and to SHOVE OFF and GO PLAY WITH HIMSELF the same as
usual.
So then Lee is in black despair and his self esteem is lower than a
cockroach's kneecaps and he is wandering by the ornamental lake thoughtfully
provided by the town community for the benefit of lovelorn teenagers wishing
to end it all and who should he meet up with but little Felicity who has
been given the slip by Randy because he does not wish to be seen in public
with a girl from Arkansas who has a red ribbon in her hair and braces on her
teeth.
Felicity has accordingly downed half a pint of Jack Daniels and is now
running naked around the lake singing "Goodbye Ruby Tuesday" and looking for
a place deep enough to dive in.
So Lee whips out his camera and runs off a good half-dozen shots before
the flash gun commences to get on Felicity's nerves and she smashes the end
off a discarded champagne bottle and chases him for two miles threatening to
add his genitalia to her collection of stuffed toys.
So the story might have a happy ending where Lee gets to sit on the cool
table on the strength of his n00d pix and goes on to be an ace
photojournalist, or he might have forgotten to put a film in the camera.
Your call.
--R.
Tlerll
In article <6641pr$43i$1...@usenet88.supernews.com>,
Karlo Takki <kta...@artcrime.com> wrote:
>In article <663r5q$3et$2...@newbabylon.rs.itd.umich.edu>
>tom...@umich.edu (Thomas R Scudder) writes:
>
>> crisis king (ro...@netcom.com) aseioniezi:
>> : THE KOOK TABLE
>> : Drs. Neutopia
>> : Ludwig/Archimedes Plutonium
>> : Andrew Beckwith
>>
>> John_Winston
>
>JW is not a kook. NOT A KOOK, I tell you. He simply has powers
>beyond the comprehension of you mere earthlings.
>
>> (Dr.) Alexander Abian
>> J*hn Gr*b*r
>
>J...@webtv.net
>St*ph*n B**rs*y
>D*n S*kl*d
>K*rl* T*kk*
>
>Oops.
THE LQQK TQBLE
BIGJQHN 1Q, STILL LQQKING FQR A WQFE
--
Lord Tlerll of alt.os.tlerll. WEBTV --> WEBTLAME. IT"S FUNNY CUZ THERE SO LAME
-------------------==== Posted via Bozo News ====-----------------------
http://www.bozonews.com/ Troll, Flame, Cascade to Usenet
Tlerll
In article <01bcff70$7def8340$ee43facc@HE-HDNW01>,
Leah Verre <leahv.ba...@badaddress.humongous.com> wrote:
>
>
>Sleepbot ZZ09.4 <dfo...@SPAM-FREE-oz.net> wrote in article
><662104$f7s$1...@usenet11.supernews.com>...
>>
>> <PITY TARGET="_self"> sigh &fnord;</PITY>.
>
>Geek to the n'th power, dude.
>Can we start a Geek table?
>Population one .. yooooouuuu!
#include <stdio.h>
void main()
{
yellf("HEY\!\! YOU THINK POSTING IN JOKE HTML IS GEEKY? TRY JOKE C\!\!\!\!\a\a\a\a\a\a\a\n");
dont.spam...@raleigh.ibm.com
Leaning over the toilet, Tlerll puked:
> In article <01bcff70$7def8340$ee43facc@HE-HDNW01>,
> Leah Verre <leahv.ba...@badaddress.humongous.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>Sleepbot ZZ09.4 <dfo...@SPAM-FREE-oz.net> wrote in article
>><662104$f7s$1...@usenet11.supernews.com>...
>>>
>>> <PITY TARGET="_self"> sigh &fnord;</PITY>.
>>
>>Geek to the n'th power, dude.
>>Can we start a Geek table?
>>Population one .. yooooouuuu!
> #include <stdio.h>
> void main()
^^^^
YM ``int''. HTH!
Michael R. Nosek
In article <kibo-03129...@10.0.2.15>, ki...@world.std.com (James
"Kibo" Parry) beabled...
[SHNIP!]
> It's a fact--the better the Chinese restaurant, the stupider the waiters
> assume Kibo is. Kibo has the roundest eyes in the world. And no mouth!
Dear TPFH,
I believe it's time to revise the ASHK FAQ. KIBO IS HELLO KITTY!!!1!
!!!!!!!!!!!SPECIAL ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
SEND FOURTEEN DOLLARS AND 16/32 CENTS (CANADIAN) TO P.O. BOX 666
TO RECEIVE YOUR SPECIAL "I MET KIBO AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STOOPID
HELLO KITTY SWEATSHIRT" TODAY!!! FIRST THIRTY ORDERS RECEIVE A
FREE (DID YOU HEAR THAT, "FREE!") GLASS OF VOMIT! TWO OF THESE
LUCKY FEW WILL RECEIVE THE ULTRAMEGASPECIOUS "PARTY-COLORED"
GLASS OF VOMIT!!
!!!!!!!!!!!SPECIAL ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
Does anyone have a "Kibo Inside" sweatshirt or know
anyone who does?
------------------
Michael R. Nosek mno...@wwa.com
"Oh, you're using TUBE SOCKS. Not only are they isomorphic, but they
make puppets that have saggy Adam's apples that leak."
--James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com)
Stephen Will Tanner
Michael R. Nosek (mno...@wwa.com) wrote:
: [...]RECEIVE YOUR SPECIAL "I MET KIBO AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STOOPID
: HELLO KITTY SWEATSHIRT" TODAY!!! FIRST THIRTY ORDERS RECEIVE A
: FREE (DID YOU HEAR THAT, "FREE!") GLASS OF VOMIT! TWO OF THESE
: LUCKY FEW WILL RECEIVE THE ULTRAMEGASPECIOUS "PARTY-COLORED"
: GLASS OF VOMIT!!
Dear Mr. Marketing Guy,
Please stop trying to sell Kibo's defective lava lamp. It no longer
complies with FCC regulations for a Class C electronic device (light
fuse and get away).
ETP does this better than me. (Legalese satire, I mean, not puking into
a glass. Well, maybe that too, but I mean, well, what?)
And I may not have a Hello Kitty sweatshirt, but I found a place to buy
me an Alcor baseball cap. Yes, it's the cap that says, "I care enough
about myself to buy a ticket to long life in the future; but not enough
to comb my hair in the morning".
Stick with Alcor rather than the cheaposleazoid places. If you go to
a discount cryonicist, they may saw your body into 1-cubic-inch pieces
for easy storage, and a couple might get fed to the guard dogs as treats.
Then you'll be re-assembled by lonely puzzle-loving workers; so even
if you DO get de-Humpty-Dumped, the first thing you see will be a
triumphantly smug Mensan. DO YOU WANT THAT, AMERICA?
P.S. Please do not send "flames" regarding the feasibility of cryogenics
and reanimation. Recently scientists lowered a glass of vomit to a few
degrees below freezing; when thawed, it had suffered no apparent ill effects
and was EVEN MORE DISGUSTING.
--
Stephen Tanner (tan...@math.wisc.edu)
Etienne Rouette
Stephen Will Tanner wrote:
> And I may not have a Hello Kitty sweatshirt, but I found a place to buy
> me an Alcor baseball cap. Yes, it's the cap that says, "I care enough
> about myself to buy a ticket to long life in the future; but not enough
> to comb my hair in the morning".
>
> Stick with Alcor rather than the cheaposleazoid places. If you go to
ALCOR (aka Koji Kabuto, aka Lance Hyatt): Ahh!! I'm hit Actarus. Help
me!!
ACTARUS (aka Duke Fleed, aka Orion Quest): I'm coming Alcor. Grandizer
go!
(Goldorak (aka Grendizer, aka Grandizer) then transforms from a Flying
Saucer into a Giant UFO Robot and Actarus moves inside the robot to his
head on his chair, twisting several times for no good reason)
Hey I didn't know there were Alcor caps. I wanna have one too. He was
cool even though he was always crashing and Goldorak must always save
him.
Anyone who gets this obscur reference without going to this page:
http://www.vex.net/~guru/goldorak/goldora2.htm
wins a fabulous one-way trip to Anastasia!! If you don't know where it
is located it's because you probably fell asleep when they talked about
it on TV!
E. Rouette
Elocutus of Borg
In article <66c81b$o...@bolivia.earthlink.net>,
tle...@earthlink.net wrote:
>
> In article <01bcff70$7def8340$ee43facc@HE-HDNW01>,
> Leah Verre <leahv.ba...@badaddress.humongous.com> wrote:
> >
> >
> >Sleepbot ZZ09.4 <dfo...@SPAM-FREE-oz.net> wrote in article
> ><662104$f7s$1...@usenet11.supernews.com>...
> >>
> >> <PITY TARGET="_self"> sigh &fnord;</PITY>.
> >
> >Geek to the n'th power, dude.
> >Can we start a Geek table?
> >Population one .. yooooouuuu!
>
> #include <stdio.h>
>
> void main()
> yellf("HEY\!\! YOU THINK POSTING IN JOKE HTML IS GEEKY? TRY JOKE C\!\!\!
\!\a\a\a\a\a\a\a\n");
> }
#include "lunchrooh.h"
void main()
{
pcolTables("geek").AddUser("Elocutus")
}
How about mock C++?
--Elocutus
(back at the geek table,
seven years out of high school)
Nick S Bensema
In article <EKup5...@world.std.com>,
Samantha Wilkinson <sam...@world.std.com> wrote:
>Teg Pipes <t...@fruitfly.berkeley.edu> writes:
>
>>You forgot "I MARRIED A FAT CHICK. STRANGELY, I AM PROUD OF THIS. DOWN
>>WITH KIBO, UP WITH MY WANGER FOR FAT CHICKS. PORTLY = TASTY! THE BIGGER
>>THE CUSHION, THE BETTER THE PUSHION OR SO I HAVE READ!!!1!"
>
>
>And now it's time for another episode of "Teg's Fantasy Land."
All that fat discussion and nobody mentioned Cartman.
I guess it's official. South Park is OLD NEWS. Guess I better
bury my "they killed Kenny" T-shirt in the backyard next to my Max
Headroom baseball cap and Pac-Man pillowcase.
Teg Pipes
ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema) writes:
> In article <EKup5...@world.std.com>,
> Samantha Wilkinson <sam...@world.std.com> wrote:
> >Teg Pipes <t...@fruitfly.berkeley.edu> writes:
> >
> >>You forgot "I MARRIED A FAT CHICK. STRANGELY, I AM PROUD OF THIS. DOWN
> >>WITH KIBO, UP WITH MY WANGER FOR FAT CHICKS. PORTLY = TASTY! THE BIGGER
> >>THE CUSHION, THE BETTER THE PUSHION OR SO I HAVE READ!!!1!"
> >
> >And now it's time for another episode of "Teg's Fantasy Land."
>
> All that fat discussion and nobody mentioned Cartman.
>
> I guess it's official. South Park is OLD NEWS. Guess I better
> bury my "they killed Kenny" T-shirt in the backyard next to my Max
> Headroom baseball cap and Pac-Man pillowcase.
And my corpse.
-Teg
Samantha Wilkinson
Teg Pipes <t...@fruitfly.berkeley.edu> writes:
>You forgot "I MARRIED A FAT CHICK. STRANGELY, I AM PROUD OF THIS. DOWN
>WITH KIBO, UP WITH MY WANGER FOR FAT CHICKS. PORTLY = TASTY! THE BIGGER
>THE CUSHION, THE BETTER THE PUSHION OR SO I HAVE READ!!!1!"
And now it's time for another episode of "Teg's Fantasy Land."
[Show a group of bikini-clad women running across a field with flowers
in their hair, all singing the theme song to "Teg's Fantasy Land."]
CHORUS OF WOMEN:
Come one and all,
Short ones and tall,
(As long as you're small)
To Teg's Fantasy Land.
Brunette and blonde
All shaped like a wand.
All body fat gone
In Teg's Fantasy Land.
[Teg comes running out. One of the women gestures to him. He grabs her
hand and she falls to the ground screaming.]
WOMAN: Aaaahhh! You broke my wrist.
CHORUS OF WOMEN:
We're thin as a stake,
Our bones, they may break,
But we all look great,
In Teg's Fantasy Laaaand.
[Show Teg walking down the street, whistling. He waves to a woman
jogging by.]
TEG: Hi Susie. Do you want to grab a burger?
SUSIE: Sorry, Teg, I can't. After I finish my jog, I have Aerobics
class, then I have to do some weight-lifting, go to yoga class, and
practice my tai chi. Anways, I'm on a vegan diet since last week, when
Donny told me I was starting to develop hips.
TEG: Well, run along then. We wouldn't want you to get fat.
SUSIE: You sure are right, Teg.
[Teg walks into Fred's diner. He sits down at the counter between Nancy
and Greg.]
TEG: Hey, guys how's it going? So, what do you think about the latest
news from Iraq?
NANCY: Iraq? What state is that in?
GREG: Gee, Nancy, you sure are stupid.
TEG: Yes, but at least she's not fat.
ALL: Ha, ha, ha, ha.
TEG: So, are you guys going to make it to City Hall this afternoon for
my debate against Mike Jones, my opponent for the office of Mayor?
NANCY AND GREG: We sure will, Teg.
[Later that afternoon at the debate.]
MIKE JONES: And so, by cutting administrative expenses, we can maintain
a tax freeze and keep the money for the kindergarten program.
TEG: Yes, but you're fat.
MIKE JONES: Well, I may have put on a few pounds since I was in my
twenties, but...
AUDIENCE: Boooooo!
[Mike Jones slinks off the stage.]
TEG: If I am elected, we will drive all icky fat people from the city.
And if anyone wants to move here, they will have to send their pictures
so we can decide whether or not to allow them.
AUDIENCE: Yeahhh!
[Early evening. Teg cavorts through the park and comes upon a couple
making out on a bench.]
TEG: Gross. How can you stand to kiss that fat chick?
MAN: I like the way she looks.
TEG: But look at those bulges on her chest. I mean, what are those?
WOMAN: Those would be my breasts.
[Teg pokes one of them.]
BREAST: Squish.
[Teg runs away screaming.]
TEG: Omigod! They're made of FAAAAAAT!
[The next day. Teg is having his yearly doctor's appointment.]
DOCTOR: So, next we'll take a blood sample to check your cholestrol
level. We can also determine your percentage of body fat.
TEG: Wait, I can't have body fat.
DOCTOR: But everyone has body fat, Teg.
TEG: Even my girlfriend? But I've kept her on a strict diet and
exercise regimen.
DOCTOR: Even your girlfriend.
TEG: [running away]. Noooooooooooo.
How will Teg confront this shocking news about fat?
Will he kill his girlfriend, then himself in a shocking
murder-suicide?
Will he learn to accept his fat in a touching special episode?
Will he fall into the depths of despair, start binging, and become
appallingly obese?
Will our show ever develop coherent plot lines?
If you want to know, you'll have to watch.
CHORUS OF WOMEN:
If you are not thin,
All bones and skin,
We won't let you in,
To Teg's Fantasy Laaaaaand.
neko
In article <EKMp2...@world.std.com>, b...@world.std.com (Brian D Chase) wrote:
| I used to have a Radio-Shack Color Computer in the shiney mettalic gray
| case with 4K of RAM and TRS-80 cassette recorder. Now I have six of
| them!!! And they're all wired into my cranium to provide me with
| spectacular 9 color psychedelic visions. I've also got an Atari 800, a
| 600XL and a half dozen VAXES!!!
yeah, well i'm posting this from a microwave turned on with smurfs inside,
with their screams acting as the modem.
-- neko *meow*
L Shelton Bumgarner
On 4 Dec 1997 20:17:03 -0700, ni...@primenet.com (Nick S Bensema)
wrote:
>In article <15152D8855DCF6F0.082243A4...@library-proxy.airnews.net>,
>L Shelton Bumgarner <lee...@nottowayez.net> wrote:
>>
>>Now that you mention it, I didn't have too bad a prom night. All the
>>Cool Table people didn't expect me to have a date, much less come to
>>the thing, but I did.
>
>Lee had a date for the prom?
>
>You have no right to complain about high school anymore. Stop now.
>
>You have successfully demonstrated the ability to convince a female
>to spend an entire evening in your company.
>
>You have WON.
>
>Furthermore, everyone on a.r.k hates WiReD too, except the issue with the
>Atari stuff in it.
>
>YOU WIN AGAIN!
>
>And finally, nobody from the exkloosiv elite society of "The WELL" even
>post to alt.religion.kibology anymore.
>
>THE WELL FORFEITS! LEE WINS AGAIN!
>
>You've scored the hat trick, and you can give these issues a rest.
>
>CAPEESH?
>
>Quit it before you turn into Grubor.
Although I appreciate it that you can respond to one of my posts and
cause a huge thread to begin, I worry that you enjoy comparing little
old me to one of the more Evil kooks floating about.
lee
just ask kibo, he'll tell you.
what, I have no idea.
Stephen Will Tanner
Samantha Wilkinson (sam...@world.std.com) wrote:
:
: [Teg comes running out. One of the women gestures to him. He grabs her
: hand and she falls to the ground screaming.]
:
: WOMAN: Aaaahhh! You broke my wrist.
I think we ALL need to LEARN to be more TOLERANT of Teg's jihad against fat.
We need to remember the amount of PRESSURE that Teg is under, being a
ballerina and all. Well, being a lesbian ballerina. Being a lesbian
terrorist left-handed albino midget eskimo ballerina. That girl's got
some STRANGE hobbies.
Sincerely,
Your Milkman (deceased)
--
Stephen Tanner (tan...@math.wisc.edu)
Lupus Yonderboy
Thus spake tan...@math.wisc.edu (Stephen Will Tanner):
>I think we ALL need to LEARN to be more TOLERANT of Teg's jihad against fat.
>We need to remember the amount of PRESSURE that Teg is under, being a
>ballerina and all. Well, being a lesbian ballerina. Being a lesbian
>terrorist left-handed albino midget eskimo ballerina. That girl's got
>some STRANGE hobbies.
And FOUR HUNDRED PEOPLE showed up.
There's this bar in D.C. I won't tell you the name because
it's already too crowded. For a ten dollar cover charge it's
all the beer you can drink from 9PM until 1AM. That was
Saturday. It is now Monday. Could somebody please tell me
what happened yesterday?
And why I have a tattoo that says, "Mandy?"
Sincerely,
Jesse's Girl (867-5309)
--
Alex Suter
"Over 95 percent success rate!"
http://www.dr-dry.com
Brian JARAI Chase
In article <66gvb3$t0k$1...@Radon.Stanford.EDU>,
Lupus Yonderboy <asu...@Xenon.Stanford.EDU> wrote:
> Sincerely,
> Jesse's Girl (867-5309)
I gooooooot it! I got it!... I got ya number tatooed on my brain!
[cool 80's guitar solos deleted]
-brian.
--
---
Brian Chase <(o)> <(o)> http://world.std.com/~bdc/ VAXZilla LIVES!!!
Elocutus of Borg
In article <66do70$kmq$1...@news.doit.wisc.edu>,
tan...@math.wisc.edu (Stephen Will Tanner) wrote:
> And I may not have a Hello Kitty sweatshirt, but I found a place to buy
> me an Alcor baseball cap. Yes, it's the cap that says, "I care enough
> about myself to buy a ticket to long life in the future; but not enough
> to comb my hair in the morning".
There's a place right down the street from me that sells a few dozen
anime titles, a bunch of manga, and the biggest fucking Hello Kitty doll
I have ever seen. I swear some of these things are over five feet tall.
It occurs to me that the Mouthless One and Ariel, the Little Mermaid
would make a great play team. I'd say more, but it's probably a
violation of my parole.
--Elocutus
Nick S Bensema
In article <881624066....@dejanews.com>,
Elocutus of Borg <Elocutu...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>There's a place right down the street from me that sells a few dozen
>anime titles, a bunch of manga, and the biggest fucking Hello Kitty doll
>I have ever seen. I swear some of these things are over five feet tall.
That's good for the kids, eh? A doll of a third-grade kitten who's taller
than their sixth-grade siblings.
And depending on how much over five feet, it might be taller than many of
the inhabitants of the country it was made in.
Though I imagine it would sell quite a bit... after all, a five foot tall
Hello Kitty makes me think of just one thing...
...drug trafficking. Customs would never suspect a thing.
Jaffo
In alt.religion.kibology, on 8 Dec 1997 13:46:48 GMT, Stephen Will Tanner
said:
:Samantha Wilkinson (sam...@world.std.com) wrote:
::
:: [Teg comes running out. One of the women gestures to him. He grabs her
:: hand and she falls to the ground screaming.]
::
:: WOMAN: Aaaahhh! You broke my wrist.
:[plot snipped]
:
:I think we ALL need to LEARN to be more TOLERANT of Teg's jihad against fat.
:We need to remember the amount of PRESSURE that Teg is under, being a
:ballerina and all. Well, being a lesbian ballerina. Being a lesbian
:terrorist left-handed albino midget eskimo ballerina. That girl's got
:some STRANGE hobbies.
Stephen Will Tanner does this better than you.
The Philosopher from Hell
I have added this information to the FAQ.
Thank you for Sharing :)
Quotes are entirely fictional, and not based on real people including Michael R. Nosek <mno...@wwa.com>. Articles crossposted with alt.fan.tito may contain vulgar language and should not be read by anyone:
@ In article <kibo-03129...@10.0.2.15>, ki...@world.std.com (James
@ "Kibo" Parry) beabled...
@ [SHNIP!]
@ > It's a fact--the better the Chinese restaurant, the stupider the waiters
@ > assume Kibo is. Kibo has the roundest eyes in the world. And no mouth!
@ Dear TPFH,
@ I believe it's time to revise the ASHK FAQ. KIBO IS HELLO KITTY!!!1!
@ !!!!!!!!!!!SPECIAL ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
@ SEND FOURTEEN DOLLARS AND 16/32 CENTS (CANADIAN) TO P.O. BOX 666
@ TO RECEIVE YOUR SPECIAL "I MET KIBO AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STOOPID
@ HELLO KITTY SWEATSHIRT" TODAY!!! FIRST THIRTY ORDERS RECEIVE A
@ FREE (DID YOU HEAR THAT, "FREE!") GLASS OF VOMIT! TWO OF THESE
@ LUCKY FEW WILL RECEIVE THE ULTRAMEGASPECIOUS "PARTY-COLORED"
@ GLASS OF VOMIT!!
@ !!!!!!!!!!!SPECIAL ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!
@ Does anyone have a "Kibo Inside" sweatshirt or know
@ anyone who does?
@ ------------------
@ Michael R. Nosek mno...@wwa.com
@ "Oh, you're using TUBE SOCKS. Not only are they isomorphic, but they
@ make puppets that have saggy Adam's apples that leak."
@ --James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com)
--
\ tp...@io.com news:alt.fan.richard-nixon http://www.io.com/~tpfh/
/ O- Hello Kitty says Fight Spam! http://spam.abuse.net/
/ Only 666 shopping days till Armageddon | Dyslexics Untie! /
\ >Santa Ho ho ho. We meet again, Jesus.... --Southpark /
\ >Jesus I'm here to put an end to your blasphemy. /
/ >Santa This time we finish it. [stands] There can be only one. /
\ Was 666! Now only 4.95! Markdown of the Beast!! -- Froggy \
Lasterday I was /bin/bash
>There's a place right down the street from me that sells a few dozen
>anime titles, a bunch of manga, and the biggest fucking Hello Kitty doll
"New Fucking Hello Kitty Doll! With Kung-Fu Grip and Real Fucking Action!"
Er, Whoops.
--
nu...@best.com | "Tcl is EVIL! RMS said so himself!" (rone)
Nick S Bensema
In article <66kmk3$mmc$1...@shell3.ba.best.com>,
Lasterday I was /bin/bash <nu...@best.com> wrote:
>In article <881624066....@dejanews.com>,
>Elocutus of Borg <Elocutu...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>>There's a place right down the street from me that sells a few dozen
>>anime titles, a bunch of manga, and the biggest fucking Hello Kitty doll
>
>"New Fucking Hello Kitty Doll! With Kung-Fu Grip and Real Fucking Action!"
I have no response. I already made one, going out of my way to avoid this
exact response in favor of something a bit more original like drug
trafficking.
The purpose of this response is to see what happens to the thread display
at the top of my screen when it goes past (9).
The Philosopher from Hell
Quotes are entirely fictional, and not based on real people including Nick S Bensema <ni...@primenet.com>. Articles crossposted with alt.sex.hello-kitty may contain vulgar language and should not be read by anyone:
@ In article <66kmk3$mmc$1...@shell3.ba.best.com>,
@ Lasterday I was /bin/bash <nu...@best.com> wrote:
@ >In article <881624066....@dejanews.com>,
@ >Elocutus of Borg <Elocutu...@hotmail.com> wrote:
@ >
@ >>There's a place right down the street from me that sells a few dozen
@ >>anime titles, a bunch of manga, and the biggest fucking Hello Kitty doll
@ >
@ >"New Fucking Hello Kitty Doll! With Kung-Fu Grip and Real Fucking Action!"
@ I have no response. I already made one, going out of my way to avoid this
@ exact response in favor of something a bit more original like drug
@ trafficking.
oh PLEASE, look where this is posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anychyx want an Altoid?
They are curiously strong :)
@ The purpose of this response is to see what happens to the thread display
@ at the top of my screen when it goes past (9).
oh, now THAT I can understand!
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\ >Jesus I'm here to put an end to your blasphemy. /
/ >Santa This time we finish it. [stands] There can be only one. /
\ Was 666! Now only 4.95! Markdown of the Beast!! -- Froggy \
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\ it in followups or mouthless cats will drag you away screaming. \
The Philosopher from Hell
Quotes are entirely fictional, and not based on real people including Elocutus of Borg <Elocutu...@hotmail.com>. Articles crossposted with alt.sex.hello-kitty may contain vulgar language and should not be read by anyone:
@ In article <66do70$kmq$1...@news.doit.wisc.edu>,
@ tan...@math.wisc.edu (Stephen Will Tanner) wrote:
@ > And I may not have a Hello Kitty sweatshirt, but I found a place to buy
@ > me an Alcor baseball cap. Yes, it's the cap that says, "I care enough
@ > about myself to buy a ticket to long life in the future; but not enough
@ > to comb my hair in the morning".
@ There's a place right down the street from me that sells a few dozen
@ anime titles, a bunch of manga, and the biggest fucking Hello Kitty doll
@ I have ever seen. I swear some of these things are over five feet tall.
@ It occurs to me that the Mouthless One and Ariel, the Little Mermaid
@ would make a great play team. I'd say more, but it's probably a
@ violation of my parole.
Blasphamy!
Disney is EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!
(really evil, not fake evil like the Evil Goodbye Kitty)
The Philosopher from Hell
Quotes are entirely fictional, and not based on real people including Lasterday I was /bin/bash <nu...@best.com>. Articles crossposted with alt.sex.hello-kitty may contain vulgar language and should not be read by anyone:
@ >There's a place right down the street from me that sells a few dozen
@ >anime titles, a bunch of manga, and the biggest fucking Hello Kitty doll
@ "New Fucking Hello Kitty Doll! With Kung-Fu Grip and Real Fucking Action!"
Glad to see some on topic posts in ASH-K :)
Sara M
The Philosopher from Hell wrote:
>
> Quotes are entirely fictional, and not based on real people including Elocutus of Borg <Elocutu...@hotmail.com>. Articles crossposted with alt.sex.hello-ki
> @ tan...@math.wisc.edu (Stephen Will Tanner) wrote:
>
> @ > And I may not have a Hello Kitty sweatshirt, but I found a place to buy
> @ > me an Alcor baseball cap. Yes, it's the cap that says, "I care enough
> @ > about myself to buy a ticket to long life in the future; but not enough
> @ > to comb my hair in the morning".
>
> @ anime titles, a bunch of manga, and the biggest fucking Hello Kitty doll
>
> @ It occurs to me that the Mouthless One and Ariel, the Little Mermaid
> @ would make a great play team. I'd say more, but it's probably a
> @ violation of my parole.
>
> Blasphamy!
> Disney is EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!
> (really evil, not fake evil like the Evil Goodbye Kitty)
Oh dear - seems I haven't been quite EVIL enough for you lately -
a thousand pardons.
Perhaps, if you were to tell me what you had in mind... 8)
EVIL Goodbye Kitty,
at your command.
xxx
Michael Warner
In alt.religion.kibology, Nick S Bensema <ni...@primenet.com> was seen
to have written:
[...]
> The purpose of this response is to see what happens to the thread
> display at the top of my screen when it goes past (9).
(A). After (Z), beats me. (AA) Maybay?
^^
(For poetical purposes only. I really spell gooder than that. My *grammer*
has been sort of ill, lately. She's old, though. Def, too.)