:-) Herbal Computer
Holla
AN IMPORTANT TECHNICAL UPDATE ....
Ramar Pillai's brother Laxmar Pillai has come up with a
Herbal Computer. DBSS (Dun and Bradstreet Satyam
Software) Madras decided to procure the rights for this
and clinched the deal amongst tight competition from the
likes of TCS and HCL. DBSS will replace all the
computers with the herbal ones before the year 2000, thus
creating a new year 2000 problem.
And what all these means to the Software Industry in
general and DBSS in particular??......
1) Instead of using electricity the Computer uses herbal
petrol developed by Ramar Pillai.
2) All the artificial plants in DBSS are to be replaced
with herbs.
3) To boot the computer 2 leaves from each herb must be
inserted into the floppy slot and one hot cup of coffee
poured into the back of the computer.
4) There is no need for anti glare screens as the herbal
computer is green.
5) Each herbal computer will grow roots and attach itself
to every other computer thus forming a network. Thus
there is no need for Novell Netware. Non-Veg jokes will
not be allowed on this Network.
6) The technology can be extended to Mainframes, but
herbs will have to be planted on the satellite to enable
the link.( ISRO scientists are currently debating the
possibility with Laxmar Pillai).
7) Ayurvedic leaves will have to be inserted into the
computer in case a CMOS failure occurs (it will boot up
in 10 seconds).
8) In case the computer becomes sluggish 2 coffee leaves
have to be inserted to invigorate it .(an overdose might
make it impossible for the computer to switch off).
9) Palm leaves are to be used instead of paper for
Printouts.(herbal printers are also being procured).
10) Floppy disks will be made out of the leaves of the
poppy plant and they will be known as poppy disks.
11) A demo is to arranged in about a weeks time at the
internet lab which will be known hereafter as shrubs and
bushes lab. All are welcome. Top scientists from IIT
Chennai (Madras) will be there to scrutinize.
12) Security guards will check for pilferage of the
precious herbs.
13) In case virus invades the herbal computer a bottle of
pesticide should be poured into the computer to kill the
viruses.
14) The HR will conduct training programs for all
Associates. Laxmar Pillai will be the external faculty.
15) The company will be renamed as
HERB AND SHRUBSTREET SATYAM SOFTWARE
- A COMPANY OF THE LAXMAR PILLAI CORPORATION.
16) Gardening activities will be organized by the
recreation club,with special emphasis on herb culture.
17) Narcotic agents like ganja leaves will cause the
computer to hang, sanjeevani leaves must be given within
2 hours to revive the system.
18) DBSS is setting up a new branch at Idayankulam
village to take advantage of the new technology.
Interested associates may contact HR.
STATUTORY WARNING:
TOBACCO LEAVES ARE NOT TO BE INSERTED INTO THE COMPUTER
AS IT MIGHT BE INJURIOUS TO THE SYSTEM.
--
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