New2ASC:TrekSmut Illustrated #2; TOS, Parody, [PG13]

[Greywolf the Wanderer]

Och, aye, ye liked the first one, eh? Well enough then. There's only
this other one right now -- but there's a few more evil ideas rattlin'
around in the old braineroo...
Comments welcome, as always -- if ye want to email me, remove nospam
from me header, eh?
Rated PG13 for swishiness, mostly... Has been posted to ascem before,
but not here...

Subject: TrekSmut Illustrated, otra vez
From: Greywolf the Wanderer <grey...@snowcrest.net>

A scruffy looking werewolf steps up to the microphone. The
mike itself is a treasure, one of those gleaming chrome 1950's jobs
that looks like a damn rocket ship. The Wolf has a grungy red
bandanna around his head, a beat-up leather vest, and a pair of
truly ancient and most holey blue jeans.
He scruffs his paw behind his ear, picks up the mike, and
says: "Good evening, ladies and germs; welcome to the Starlight
Virtual Ballroom and Concert Hall. This delightful place is our
host tonight for another in a continuing series of Vintage
Treksmut Illustrated Moments. Our sponsor tonight is Equus, the
makers of riding gear for the truly... discerning, ah, enthusiast...
and we are delighted now to bring you: BluesTrek Brothers...

<at this point you don the VR headset hanging in front of your
seat, and... >
You are seated in the concert hall, close enough to the stage
to see, far enough away not to end up deaf or squished. The
concert hall is full tonight. Not your regular types in suits,
although there are some of those, too. No. We're talking
Andorian neohippies, New Jamaican rastas, several confused
Tellarites, and even a few Vulcans, wearing those big hooded
cloaks they wear when they don't want you to notice them. <the
announcer grins evilly, showing a truly alarming set of custom
cutlery.> You know, like you're not going to anyway...
"Everybody's dressed up wild and wacky -- beaded velvet, silk,
spidermist and chrome, leathergear -- sometimes all at once.
Everybody's having a good time. There's some smoke in the air,
but there are large areas of clear air, too. This place is
*well* vented. You can smell assorted consumables, but there's
plenty of air.
"The house lights begin to dim. The crowd gets a lot noisier.

As the spots come on the curtain parts, and two men stalk
through it. The crowd goes stark raving batshit.
"Both men are dressed in black suits, vintage Terran 1960's
style. White shirts, black ties. Polished black shoes, and
black hats, of the kind once called fedoras. Identical black
sunglasses. One of them, the taller, has a saxophone around his
neck. It's Spock, of course. The other, Kirk, carries nothing.
He simply struts to the front of the stage, where the
microphone is -- in fact, this one. <gestures to his own mike>
<On the screen in the back of your head you can see both the wolf
and the concert behind him.>
"Overhead the mirror ball begins to spin. Spotlights hit it,
and the hall is suddenly filled with dancing flecks of light.
The crowd begins to quiet down. Spock picks up his sax and
blows the first few bars of "Minnie the Moocher". Jim caresses
the mike and starts to sing, and the curtains part, to reveal
the Band:
"Bones McCoy, playing honky-tonk piano, done up like Artemus
Gordon. Pavel and Uhura, in identical 1960 Supremes outfits,
hair and all, singing doo-wop on the side. Kevin Riley on
drums, dressed like Kirk & Spock. Scotty on second sax, Dr.
M'Benga, Janice Rand, and Chris Chapel on trumpets, dressed the
same way. Sulu and Lt. Tanzer from Recreation on trombones,
also dressed that way. Basically, they look like FBI or Secret
Service types, you know? MIB's, right? Oh, and Ensign Garrovick on
the fiddle -- hell, we got to have a fiddler! He's the only exception
as to dress; he's wearing an unpleasantly loud Hawaiian shirt,
olive-drab pants and a ratty old red bathrobe. Around his neck
is a narrow silver chain, with a couple of flat metal tags on it.

"And they're off, Kirk grinning, swaggering back and forth,
making out with the mike, shakin' his bootie. Spock does the
same, only with the sax instead of the mike, and that total
Vulcan stone face all the time.
"The band is hot, the licks are cool, and the audience done
died and went to doggy heaven..."

The Wolf falls silent and lets you watch the rest of the
concert...

<so okay, it's only really smut for costume sluts. Well,
hell, they gotta have fun, too, nies? Hmm. What's the
equivalent for slut, or is it a unisex term?>

Greywolf the Wanderer, havin' *way* too much fun!