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EldonB123
Oct 12, 2000, 3:00:00 AM10/12/00
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This will be webbed, but here is a preview:
------
Afraid to Communicate--a post by Maryann's Mother
[Note: This is a slightly edited version of two posts that appeared on the
Examine 2000 bulletin board shortly before that board was closed due to a
security breach. --Eldon Braun]
by: Gale 9/8/00 7:18 pm
Hi All,
Ted, I read your story with tears in my eyes. It does not seem that long ago
that I was walking in your shoes.
I remember the day I walked away from the Mission. It is like yesterday. I was
lost. It was my life. It was how I raised my children. My family
heritage had been transposed with the beliefs of not only Scientology, but
those of Harry and Avra, who had no children.
My children were basically neglected for the good of the group.
My beautiful daughter was $74,000 in debt at the age of 24. My son had not
talked to me in four years because he couldn't get through to me that Harry
had brainwashed me. I was devastated. I did not know how to find a job. Except
on a social level, I couldn't even communicate.
I lived on a credit card for months. All I could talk about was Harry and the
students from the mission. My daughter confided in me that she had not left
years earlier because of what she thought Harry would do to me if she did. My
heart broke, because the only reason I had stayed was because I was afraid of
what they would do to her if I left.
I had always been in good communication with my children. Scientology taught
the basics of good communication, right? Why had I not even told my daughter
that I wanted to leave?
The tragedy is that my daughter could not confide in me that she wanted out
either. I felt like I had failed my child.
We were not allowed to talk from our hearts because we would be labelled
SUPPRESSIVE. In our world, at the time, that was the worst thing in the
world.
If I had left, Avra--under Harry's orders--would have sent Maryann to purchase
Thousands of dollars worth of more auditing. I loved her, and I couldn't do
that to her. I was already so upset over all the falsified tax returns. I did
not want her to be one of those who would go to jail.
Where had my life gone?
Two months later, I remember sitting in the middle of the mall selling gift
certificates, the only thing I was capable of doing. I was watching all the
people going by. They all looked so happy. Everyone was smiling and laughing;
the children were running and playing.
All in an instant, I realised that I was right after all. People were good and
kind, and loving. The world truly was a wonderful place after all. This was
such a relief to me that I started to cry with ecstasy. I cried for three days.
------
Afraid to Communicate--a post by Maryann's Mother
[Note: This is a slightly edited version of two posts that appeared on the
Examine 2000 bulletin board shortly before that board was closed due to a
security breach. --Eldon Braun]
by: Gale 9/8/00 7:18 pm
Hi All,
Ted, I read your story with tears in my eyes. It does not seem that long ago
that I was walking in your shoes.
I remember the day I walked away from the Mission. It is like yesterday. I was
lost. It was my life. It was how I raised my children. My family
heritage had been transposed with the beliefs of not only Scientology, but
those of Harry and Avra, who had no children.
My children were basically neglected for the good of the group.
My beautiful daughter was $74,000 in debt at the age of 24. My son had not
talked to me in four years because he couldn't get through to me that Harry
had brainwashed me. I was devastated. I did not know how to find a job. Except
on a social level, I couldn't even communicate.
I lived on a credit card for months. All I could talk about was Harry and the
students from the mission. My daughter confided in me that she had not left
years earlier because of what she thought Harry would do to me if she did. My
heart broke, because the only reason I had stayed was because I was afraid of
what they would do to her if I left.
I had always been in good communication with my children. Scientology taught
the basics of good communication, right? Why had I not even told my daughter
that I wanted to leave?
The tragedy is that my daughter could not confide in me that she wanted out
either. I felt like I had failed my child.
We were not allowed to talk from our hearts because we would be labelled
SUPPRESSIVE. In our world, at the time, that was the worst thing in the
world.
If I had left, Avra--under Harry's orders--would have sent Maryann to purchase
Thousands of dollars worth of more auditing. I loved her, and I couldn't do
that to her. I was already so upset over all the falsified tax returns. I did
not want her to be one of those who would go to jail.
Where had my life gone?
Two months later, I remember sitting in the middle of the mall selling gift
certificates, the only thing I was capable of doing. I was watching all the
people going by. They all looked so happy. Everyone was smiling and laughing;
the children were running and playing.
All in an instant, I realised that I was right after all. People were good and
kind, and loving. The world truly was a wonderful place after all. This was
such a relief to me that I started to cry with ecstasy. I cried for three days.
When it was over I started to live. I have marvelous relationships with both my
children. They have both forgiven me. What more can any mother
ask?
Gale
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