The Project from Hell (with pictures)
Patrick Olguin
Dear Woodworking Mavens,
There are precious few project threads, and most of those seem frought
with controversy of one sort of another (blotchy cherry, painting walnut,
making miniature guillotines for men), so I thought I'd take a moment to
tell you about, and show pictures of my very poor woodworking skills. I
think mebbe the dearth of project talk is because most of us are
embarrassed by our mistakes. Well I'm not. It's how I learn. So, in the
interest of all-inclusive woodworking, I'd like you take a moment with me
and discover...
The Bookcase from Hell
Like most hobbyist (not hobbiest, hobbit, hobbeast) woodworkers with a
family, insane job and other outside interests, I measure my real shop
time in moments. It seems that when I get home from work, it's all I
can do to sing the kids to sleep, kick off my shoes, watch Law&Order on
A&E with the missus, then pass-out until 5am the next morning (no sympathy
please, I love my job). The weekends? Well, I'm just not the kind of
person who can go hide in the shop for the whole weekend, even when
there's a project going on. Like a lot of other dads, I like to bring the
kids out there with me, and like most curious kids, they want to use the
tools Dad uses, not some "stupid egg-beater drill" or sanding block. They
want the edge tools - chisels, planes, drawknives, spokeshaves, etc.
As you might guess, this requires the old man's full attention (which I
gleefully give), and not much work on *my* project gets done. One child
watches (there is the official observation stool, always placed in the
"safe" zone) while the other one works, under very close supervision by
the foreman. A side note: no one is allowed to touch anything (tool, wood,
surface plate) on "the big bench" (mine), without the foreman's immediate
prior consent. This keeps kids from reaching up on the bench, and plunging
a soft fleshy finger into the end of a chisel, not to mention knocking
expensive planes onto the floor.
Anyway, I gladly sacrifice productive time for teaching time, as I think
most woodworking fathers would. The problem is, we really do need some
bookshelves, and I promised to make one out of....
ZEBRAWOOD!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhh!
So, I came up with this crazy idea of packing a traveling cabinetmaker's
kit to work with me in my largish vehicle, along with the boards for a
small, three-shelf bookcase. The design is ridiculously simple: 41" tall,
21" wide, 10" deep. It is sized to fit under a light switch in a small
alcove of my livingroom. The top is to be half-blind dovetailed, with
rabetted shelves let into dadoes. The bottom shelf to be wedged M&T, to
help hold the thing together. The back is 1/4" walnut ply, let into
rabbets in the back. Simple, right?
We'll see.
Armed with a box of clamps, a small chest of tools, and a couple of
suckers.... err friends, I have established a new tradition for my lunch
hour. I call it Woodworking in the Park. The whole story is on my various
websites. It's up to a trilogy now, with no end (well, hopefully some end)
in sight. I want you to check it out, and tell us what you think.
http://www.concentric.net/~odeen/oldtools
My own opinion is that Zebrawood is a nightmare, and I'm going to Abby
Tools this weekend to get me a big mother-bleeping Porter-Cable ROS.
O'Deen
Just say (tmPL) I'll be wearing my HAZMAT outfit.