April Fools backfire!
Dale A. Brown
Bill Herring from the Ozark Paddler's Group in Arkansas, was responsible for one
of the most elaborate Aprils fools fandangoos in history this morning.
He reported to a List-serve ( a very nice one) that he supports, that a
landowner in Arkansa, notorious for his dislike of paddlers, had painted a group
of rocks on a rapid, and then dissatisfied with the damage, aquired enough
explosives to clear the entire rapid!
The chain of events that occurred next are slightly unclear, but it turns out
that the entire state of Arkansas was mobilized. That would mean...........
The Arkansas State Highway Patrol,
The United States Forest Service,
The ADPC&E Water Division Inspections team,
The Arkansas State Scenic Rivers Commission in Little Rock,
A local lynch mob was formed ( this actually happens daily in Arkansa),
The Governor was phoned ( it is rumored Bill Clinton, an avid whitewater rafter
was called by the governor as well, and he was said to have been "pissed ")So,
FBI, CIA, NSC, and NSA resources were probably deployed as well (in the
background) at that point.
Apparently, one of Bill's friends was able to covertly manage to forward Bill's
telephone numbers to one of the administration officials at the Arkansas State
Scenic Rivers Commission. Apparently, there was a lengthy conversation about
sick humor, wasting state resources, who was going to "pay that bill", and what
was Bill's tatol net worth ( this would have been a great time to be "one of
those little birdies hanging about the window).
I think before it was realized what was really happening, many members of the
list-serve started to mobilize, and before you know it, ACA, USCKT, AWA,
GreanPeace, and everyone else is involved.
Someone made the comment that boat parts had been found in the damaged wreckage,
and that body parts had been seen, but washed away. That really got everyone
going! Seismic detectors at the New Madrid ( one of the biggest in the world)
Fault research center in Cape Girardaue Missouri, had actually detected the
vibration from the explosion, and it actually classified as a warning level
vibration, so I'll bet atleast one aircraft was deployed at some point in time.
Dave Eddington of Arkansas went so far as to give directions ( which Forest
Service roads to take ) to the ADPC&E Water Division Inspector. After realizing
what he had done, he called back, but the inspector had already ( hastily, and
excitedly) left for the field to analyze the situation. HIs phone number has
just went "unlisted". And don't ask me how, but Orson Wells somehow got involved
in all of this. Apparently he is an avid squirt boater, and Loves the creeks of
Arkansas, and is also a dear friend of John Kuthe.
Man, what a crazy day. Maybe in the future, we should give our friendly
administrators in government the day off on April's fools. Last I heard, Bill
was hiding out at Andy Kravetz's bachelor pad in Columbia Missouri, but it's
only a matter of time before they get him.
Bill, I'll send you cake while your in the joint. This has to be the best April
fool's joke of all time! Great job!
Dailu
enviousandinaweofyourmentalprowessandyourinexplicableabilitytodeceiveabunchofhig
hlyskilledintellectuallyheightenedboaterdudesandchicks
Bruce Wilkinson
Dale A. Brown wrote:
>
> Bill Herring from the Ozark Paddler's Group in Arkansas, was
Is Bill's nickname "Red?"
Andy Kravetz
On Tue, 01 Apr 1997 23:20:47 +0000, "Dale A. Brown" <da...@inlink.com>
wrote:
>Man, what a crazy day. Maybe in the future, we should give our friendly
>administrators in government the day off on April's fools. Last I heard, Bill
>was hiding out at Andy Kravetz's bachelor pad in Columbia Missouri, but it's
>only a matter of time before they get him.
Hey, it is one hip pad. Bill, pass the beer. Time to go boating... :)
andy
------------------------------------
Andy Kravetz, reporter
The Columbia Missourian
c68...@showme.missouri.edu
Billy Herring
Bruce Wilkinson <bwil...@pacifier.com> writes:
No. But I may have to change it. I have called up half the state to
explain/appologize/repent. In case any of you out there have seen the
letter, it is 100% pure fiction. None of it is true, and it shouldn't be
taken seriously at all.
My biggest goof was being too specific about the parties involved. I used
some real names (of rapids and a person) to lend an air of credibility to
an incredible tall tale. Let this be a lesson to you who would use April
1 as a day to spring practical jokes: don't be specific at all and don't
use e-mail to do it. You will become an instant fugitive.
Let it also be a lesson to anyone who would think about damaging a river.
People tend to get really upset about that sort of thing.
- Bill
* No bits were harmed in the making of this message. *
Loo (Loo) F. Lirpa
Billy Herring wrote:
>
> Bruce Wilkinson <bwil...@pacifier.com> writes:
>
> >Dale A. Brown wrote:
> >>
> >> Bill Herring from the Ozark Paddler's Group in Arkansas, was
> >Is Bill's nickname "Red?"
>
> No. But I may have to change it. I have called up half the state to
> explain/appologize/repent. In case any of you out there have seen the
> letter, it is 100% pure fiction. None of it is true, and it shouldn't be
> taken seriously at all.
Hey Fish, you're supposed to change your name *before* you post
the message... :-)
Loo (Loo) F. Lirpa
(aka Jackie)
Steve Cramer
On Wed, 2 Apr 1997, Andy Kravetz wrote:
>
> Hey, it is one hip pad. Bill, pass the beer. Time to go boating... :)
>
Steve
Steve Cramer
Test Scoring & Reporting Services Sometimes you never can
University of Georgia always tell what you
Athens, GA 30602-5593 least expect the most.
RWFarnum
<<What was that expression? One hip pad shy of fully outfitted... ;-)
Steve
Steve Cramer>>
--------------------------------
One 12 short of a six? One 16 short of a six?
Commander Five Pack: you lurking today?
-Ray 8-)
John William Kuthe
In article <3342851e...@news.missouri.edu>,
Andy Kravetz <c68...@showme.missouri.edu> wrote:
>On Tue, 01 Apr 1997 23:20:47 +0000, "Dale A. Brown" <da...@inlink.com>
>wrote:
>
>>was hiding out at Andy Kravetz's bachelor pad in Columbia Missouri, but it's
>>only a matter of time before they get him.
>
Hey! PARTY AT ANDYS PAD!!!!
Beer shhmeer! I'll bring the tequila and the saltines, Andy has lemons
in the fridge!!
Eamil me for directions!
--
John Kuthe, aka jw...@cec.wustl.edu, St. Louis, Missouri | MWA Homepage: |
First Job of Government: Protect people from govermment.| /www.missouri.edu/ |
Second Job of Government: Protect people from each other.| ~c681357/mwa.html |
It must *never* become the job of government to protect people from themselves!
Chris Bell
In article <5huicu$2...@picayune.uark.edu>,
bher...@comp.uark.edu (Billy Herring) wrote:
>No. But I may have to change it. I have called up half the state to
>explain/appologize/repent. In case any of you out there have seen the
>letter, it is 100% pure fiction. None of it is true, and it shouldn't be
>taken seriously at all.
Hey Red, any chance you could post your letter to R.B.P -- with suitable
disclaimers of course?
I think it is the dynamiting that got you in trouble, not the use of
real names and places. This is the first year in four years I haven't
made an April Fools joke post to R.B.P, and all have included real
names and places. And people have fallen for all them too! I
particularly enjoyed the E-mail from the 1992 Olympic slalom
competitor who was thrilled that the 1996 slalom was moving to an
artificial course to be built in his adopted home town (Asheville)
due to the discovery of the endangered Red-Cockaded Snail Darter in the
waters of the upper Ocoee... Three or four others E-mailed to ask if I
knew who to call to volunteer at the venue. And yet another E-mailed
to ask (a year or so later) what had become of the endangered fish now
that the Olympics were evidently going to be held on the Ocoee afterall.
-- Chris
Billy Herring
"Loo (Loo) F. Lirpa" <lli...@gasp-seakayak.org> writes:
>Hey Fish, you're supposed to change your name *before* you post
>the message... :-)
Damn. I sure blew it.
- Bill
P.S. Damn again!
- Fish
P.P.S. Damn it to heck!
- Mr. E