soc.singles FAQ; bimonthly posting
trygve lode
MOTOS Member Of The Opposite Sex
MOTSS Member Of The Same Sex
MOTAS Member Of The Appropriate Sex
SO Significant Other
RP Romantic Partner
POSSLQ Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters
LO Lust Object (occasionally also Love Object)
RI Romantic Interest
POW ProblemOlderWoman
PYM ProblemYoungerMan (also ProblemYoungerMutant)
POM ProblemOlderMan
PYW ProblemYoungerWoman
NG Nice Guy/Gal
SNAG Sensitive New-Age Guy
LJBF Let's Just Be Friends (now considered a verb)
PDA Public Display of Affection
LDR Long Distance Relationship
LTR Long Term Relationship
SMV Sexual Market Value
LAFS Love At First Sight
(Alternatively, "Love At First Site" for those in a hurry.)
IMHO In My Humble Opinion (engineers often prefer to use JMHO)
IMNSHO In My Not-So-Humble Opinion
OTOH On The Other Hand
YMMV Your Milage May Vary
BTW By The Way
FWIW For What It's Worth
POV Point Of View
RL Real Life
ROTFL Rolling On The Floor Laughing
TL&EH True Love & Eternal Happiness
NIFOC Nude In Front Of Computer
FYI For Your Information
FYA For Your Amusement
WFYITBWNBLJO Waiting For You In The Bathtub Wearing Nothing But Lime Jell-O
Sie Gender-neutral pronoun equivalent to "She or He"
Hir Gender-neutral possessive pronoun equivalent to "His or Her"
Q: What is a 'boink'?
A: Any publically announced gathering of soc.singles participants and
lurkers. Frequently these last for days and involve the flying in
of out-of-town soc.singles celebrities.
Q: Should I post personals ads on soc.singles?
A: No. Personal ads belong in the alt.personals groups; there are even
groups for those of you with specific tastes (e.g. alt.personals.poly,
alt.personals.bondage, alt.personals.hamster.duct-tape). If you
want to post a request for pen-friends rather than a personal ad,
there's also soc.penpals which is dedicated for just that very
thing. Do not post personals in soc.singles, you will annoy the
readership and not get any positive responses.
Q: But what if I still want to get laid and no one on any of the other
newsgroups will have me?
A: Remember, the best way to get a positive response on any group is to
post something that will pique the interest of the other readers and
entertain them as well. On soc.singles, the best thing to do is
simply to post a message that expresses a stunningly profound
observation that is fundamental to the human condition as it relates
to singleness, one that is unobvious yet clarifies many of the more
confusing interactions between singles and MOTAS and is expressed
with succinctness, humor, an easy, flowing writing style, and--
perhaps most importantly--good spelling and the effective use of an
editor. Some days we'll just settle for someone who can spell and
use an editor. Then, wait for fan mail while composing your next
opus.
Q: Do I have to be single to post on soc.singles?
A: No. The only requirement is that you have been single at some time
in your life, know someone who was, or are interested in some of the
subjects that people meeting either of these requirements have been
known to talk about.
Q: Just what is appropriate on soc.singles?
A: Think of soc.singles as the electronic version of something that's
partway between a cocktail party and a soap opera. Appropriate
posts should be both interactive and entertaining--that is, their
content should both invite the participation of others in the
electronic conversation and be entertaining to its readers. You
might pose an open question to the readership about some aspect of
the human condition as it applies to singleness or you might reply
to another contributor's post and add an observation that sheds
light on a different aspect of the issue under discussion or just
makes some people out there laugh and shoot Pepsi out through their
noses onto their computer keyboards. Personal ads are a good
example of what sort of posting isn't appropriate because they are
neither of these--they aren't conducive to public discussion nor are
they entertaining.
Q: Is there anything besides personal ads that should be avoided?
A: Of course there are other things that are best avoided--perhaps the
most important of these are emotional issues for which other
newsgroups have been created. Topics like abortion, politics,
religion, anything by Robert McElwaine, and other such things are
best avoided, not because they aren't valid issues, but because,
like personal ads, it's too easy for them to take over the newsgroup
and drive off those of us who participate on soc.singles because we
like soc.singles. Remember, anyone who wants to debate abortion can
go to talk.abortion and anyone who wants to post and read personals
can go to alt.personals*--but if soc.singles gets turned into
soc.talk.alt.personals.abortion.religion.politics.McElwaine, there's
no newsgroup where the soc.singlers can go to continue their
discussions.
It's also good form to avoid messages that are pretty much
content-free: don't, for example, quote an entire message that you
agree with and then append "Yeah, what she said" to the end. Test
messages should also be avoided--if you're unsure whether your
messages are getting out or not, post something to misc.test and
you'll get confirmation messages from various sites around the world
to let you know your posting software is working.
On soc.singles, like any other group, it's best to avoid the urge to
post spelling flames--if you catch a spelling error or a typo in
someone else's post, it does very little good to post a public
message about it, since the other readers will either have noticed
the error themselves--and don't need to be told about it--or they
won't care--in which case they don't need to be told about it. If
it's an informational post that's going to be reposted later or a
signature, you may want to inform the poster in e-mail, but unless
you can turn the spelling error into an outrageously witty
observation (e.g. the original poster has just made a screamingly
fun Freudian slip in print), there's no reason to post spelling
flames publically.
Finally, if you get the urge to add to a pun chain, please don't
quote all the puns so far and then add a pun that already appears
earlier in the message; if you're going to add a pun, make sure
it's not one that another poster has already added.
Q: Sometimes, soc.singles seems very intimidating--it's like everybody
knows everyone else and it's hard just to jump in to all the ongoing
conversations.
A: Remember that every poster on soc.singles had to post his or her first
message sometime and, even now, it's no more difficult for you to
press the followup-key than it is for anyone else. Sometimes it
helps just to read the newsgroup for a while--get a feel for what's
going on and what the other posters are like, what sorts of topics
have already been beaten to death many times over and what sorts of
insights, knowlege, and experience you might have to add that others
might not think of. When you do decide to leap into the fray and
post something, don't be discouraged if it doesn't get a response
right away or even if it gets a negative response--after all, the
net is an imperfect medium and it's easy to be misunderstood, so
don't feel too bad if you sometimes don't get your ideas across in
quite the way you had intended.
Q: What if I don't like any of the current discussions or just find them
all boring?
A: On the net, just like in real life, when you don't like something,
you're better off working constructively to change it instead of
just complaining about it. If you'd like to talk about something
else, then post a message about it and add enough of your thoughts
about it that the other contributors will have something to bite on.
Writing, "what do you think about single people who bring their pet
squids on dates?" is good, but "what do you think about single
people who bring their pet squids on dates? I was on a date last
week with someone who insisted in bringing 'Sigmund' the squid along
and taking pieces of food off my plate to feed to Sigmund without
asking first." is even better.
In general, the worst thing that you can do is post a message along
the lines of "this group sucks; I've read every single message on
this group every day for five years now and each one has been worse
than having my toenails ripped out using a badly misaligned electric
can opener." Remember that all the people posting to and reading
soc.singles are real people and tend to react rather like people
would if you were to walk into a party and sulk in the corner,
loudly shouting out "this party sucks" every few minutes while the
people all around you are busilly having a good time. If the
messages aren't to your liking, either try to contribute positively
towards making the group more what you'd like it to be, use
killfiles more extensively, or locate another group that is more to
your liking. Just announcing your displeasure is unlikely to
motivate the other participants to post things that you'll want to
read, since obviously they must be enjoying the current tone and
content of soc.singles or they wouldn't be contributing to it.
Q: I finally worked up the courage to post my first message and
nobody responded to it. Do you think that the soc.singlers are
conspiring to ignore me?
A: Alas, the contributors to soc.singlers are far too disorganized to
conspire against anyone. Most messages don't generate responses
anyway, otherwise the volume of soc.singles would be even greater
than it is. So, you may need to post a few messages before anyone
responds to something you've written. If you want to maximize your
chances of getting a response, try to make sure that your articles
contain room for others to respond--they should invite others to add
their thoughts to yours and, ideally, say something new and
different that will get the attention of your readers. Sometimes
messages can even be too good--they can simply cover the whole
subject and do it so authoritatively that there's nothing left for
anyone to say, so not getting a response to a message doesn't mean
that people aren't reading it or aren't interested by it.
Q: Sometimes I write stuff that is just so incredible I think I should
crosspost it to every other newsgroup on the net. Is that OK?
A: No. In general on any newsgroup, crossposting should not be done
more than necessary. Inevitably, when you crosspost a discussion
about your taste in swimwear to soc.singles, alt.personals,
rec.scuba, rec.nude, and alt.culture.urdu, the thread will quickly
diverge in directions that most of the groups don't want to read
about. If you do this too often, people from the various groups
will start showing up at your house and tearing up your flowerbeds.
If you reply to a message that is crossposted, be sure to trim off
the newsgroups for which your reply is not appropriate.
Q: What is this "editing" stuff I keep hearing about?
A: "Editing," which is most commonly used in the phrase "please learn
how to edit your messages" refers to deleting unnecessary quoted
material. It's not at all unusual for newcomers to the net to reply
to long messages by quoting the entire thing and then responding to
a comment made somewhere in the middle of the original post by
adding a single sentence onto the end. It's much better to delete
quoted text from the original message if it isn't necessary to what
you're trying to say. Remember that many people out there, when
they see huge reams of quoted material that obviously hasn't been
edited down, will simply skip over to the next message without
bothering to read your sterling prose at the end, so a little
attention to the mechanisms of cleaning up quoted material will help
you get your points across.
Q: How about editing subject headers?
A: This is an important and much-neglected art. Often the topic will
have strayed far from its original one and a discussion on gerbil
rolfing will be carried out under the heading "Favorite skiing
lingerie." When this happens, it's entirely appropriate to change
the heading to something a little closer to the topic under
discussion. On the other hand, it's best not to change the topic
too often, especially when it's a hotly debated topic that is only
peripherally (if at all) involved with singledom and it is likely
that many people will be killing the topic in an attempt to avoid
reading about it.
Q: What else can I do to improve my ASCII appearance?
A: Soc.singles is read by something on the order of 60,000 people
worldwide, all of whom are basing their impressions of you as a
person entirely on the messages you post, so it's worthwhile to make
sure your messages are clear and readable. Probably the single most
common mistake is not putting in carriage returns when they are
needed, either typing in an entire paragraph or message in a single
line (which looks sloppy, is difficult to quote properly, and may be
truncated by some offline readers) or only putting in a return after
>80 columns (which looks even worse, since on most systems this will
show up as alternating full lines and really short lines). Most of
the time, it's best to limit your lines to no more than 72 columns,
which leaves enough extra space that they will still be easily
readable even when quoted a time or two.
Other obvious elements like correct spelling, punctuation, and
grammar help make your message more readable too (and will make you
all the more likely to generate positive responses rather than
grammar flames). One thing to avoid is typing in your messages in
all-caps (LIKE THIS) which makes it seem like you're shouting--plus
it makes it less likely that you'll be taken seriously, since the
percentage of words in all-caps in a message has been linked in
several studies to the psychoceramicity (crackpottedness) of the
author.
Q: Just what does "single" mean anyway?
A: In the context of soc.singles, it means "unmarried"; it does not
mean "not currently standing next to someone else," "paper currency
worth one of whatever currency unit is being used," or "someone who
has gotten to first base on her/his most recent date."
Q: How do you pronounce "soc" anyway?
A: There's no currently accepted standard. The currently most popular
pronunciations are "soak," "sosh" (like in 'social'), "sock," and
"soas" (as in "sociological"). The least popular pronunciations
include "sach," "sick," and "throat-warbler mangrove." The IEEE and
CCITT are jointly working on developing an international standard
for the pronunciation of "soc" and expect that the first draft of
the standard will be available some time in 1997.
Q: How do you pronounce "Trygve"
A: It's sorta like "TREEG-vah" except that the 'EE' is between a long e
and a short i.
Q: How can I learn to understand Drieux's posts?
A: Drieux's posts are like Zen Koans--they're not meant to be understood,
only experienced.
Q: What happened to Dan Mocsny?
A: Nobody knows for sure--he was last seen on a cruise boat with the
Swedish bikini team and Elvis.
Q: How come nice guys don't get laid?
A: Nice guys do get laid; it's guys who whine a lot who generally don't.
Q: I met a girl last week at a party; do you think she likes me?
A: Yes, she likes you. Either that or she doesn't; sometimes it's hard
to tell with people--they're so, so, human. If you'd like to find
out you might want to consider asking her.
Q: Just what is 'rule 6'?
A: Sorry, you'll have to ask Aahz about this one.
Q: What about personal ads?
A: Don't post them on soc.singles.
Q: What is the sound of one hand clapping?
A: I can only answer that one in person. Let me know when you're going
to show up.
Q: Will this message ever end?
A: Well, it always has before.
Q: How much for a set of 8x10 glossies of Allisson and the banana?
A: If you have to ask, you can't afford them.
Q: And those revealing photos of Dawn taken by the airport security cameras?
A: See previous answer. In both cases, though, keep an eye on
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.woo.woo where the .gifs should be
showing up Real Soon Now[tm]
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because she wanted to lay it on the line. (Also, to escape Max.)
Q: How about posting articles asking for readers to send postcards to a kid
in England who is dying of cancer and wants to set the world record for
most cards received before he dies?
A: No, don't do it. He's been cured, has asked many times for people to stop
sending him cards, and thoroughly regrets ever having had the idea in the
first place.
Q: Are you sure I can't post personals on soc.singles?
A: Yes, completely sure. Don't even think about it.
--
Trygve Lode | 3270 Cherryridge Road, Englewood, CO 80110 | (303) 781-6309
Want a copy of the FAQ? Send mail to tl...@nyx.cs.du.edu
James Preston
}FAQ Frequently Asked Question(s)
}MOTOS Member Of The Opposite Sex
}MOTSS Member Of The Same Sex
}MOTAS Member Of The Appropriate Sex
Someone want to add MOTIS and ISOBabe?
--Jim Preston
songbird
Nope I'll leave the sums to a trained professional mathmetician.
I fear that my attempt would be rather grotesque.
songbird