Alternative poker hands
Tom Kraemer
2-4-6-8-10 Even straight
A-3-5-7-9 Odd Straight
A-2-3-5-7 Prime Straight
I could have made a killing at the Hoyle Casino tonite if these
were legal hands, but you just can't argue with some people.
--
"Hello Lunchmeat. Hello Kitty"
- Hello Kitty, from a Target commercial
Glenn Knickerbocker
wrote:
> A-2-3-5-7 Prime Straight
ITYM 2-3-5-7-J-K and that hand would be a DEAD giveaway that you're
cheating. Also don't forget:
4-6-8-9-10 Composite Straight
ŹR / "We know the difference between good and bad corn early in life and
/ have the confidence that comes from such discernment." Chris Squire
http://www.bestweb.net/~notr/ (of Ontario's *London Free Press*)
Rose Marie Holt
tkraem...@world.std.com wrote on 3/8/02 8:25 PM:
> I propose these new poker hands:
>
> 2-4-6-8-10 Even straight
> A-3-5-7-9 Odd Straight
> A-2-3-5-7 Prime Straight
>
> I could have made a killing at the Hoyle Casino tonite if these
> were legal hands, but you just can't argue with some people.
1,1,2,3,5 - Fibonacci straight.
A-K-3-DOIDY-BEABLE - Kibo straight.
Xcott Craver
>
>1,1,2,3,5 - Fibonacci straight.
>A-K-3-DOIDY-BEABLE - Kibo straight.
A,5,8,Q,K -- closed straight under multiplication (mod 13)
-S
James Kibo Parry
>
> I propose these new poker hands:
>
> 2-4-6-8-10 Even straight
> A-3-5-7-9 Odd Straight
> A-2-3-5-7 Prime Straight
>
> I could have made a killing at the Hoyle Casino tonite if these
> were legal hands, but you just can't argue with some people.
Since when is an ace prime? What's wrong with 2-3-5-7-9 as an odd
straight? And why have you decided that ace is the low card despite
it coming after K in normal poker straights? Did you learn poker by
reading the Yahtzee instructions?
I still want to know why nobody ever uses my "one of each" hand --
you have to have a heart, a club, a spade, a diamond, and a swirly whale.
And the card that says "RULES FOR DRAW POKER" is DOUBLE wild, which
means it can substitute for ALL the other cards in your hand. Like,
if you get 3-4-7-J-RULES, that's a Royal Flush. And if you get two
"RULES" cards, that's ULTRA wild, which allows the pair of cards to
substitute for every card you have ever, or will ever, want throughout
the Universe until the end of time, and even then it doesn't stop,
because it's just that wild.
And don't get me started on the rules for pachinko.
-- K.
Or strip pachinko.
Xcott Craver
I forgot to mention: 3,A,3,3,7 - HAx0R WAR3Z DUD3Z straight
-S
[5,A,J,A,K -- straight! of! fortune!]
Shiro Akaishi
> And don't get me started on the rules for pachinko.
>
> -- K.
>
> Or strip pachinko.
Not as disturbing as it sounds, when done virtually.
MAME supports this.
--
/\ _____________ \ _()< -Quack! I
(__\ |Shiro Akaishi| \_/ am Png, the
) \. ------------- LL SigDuck!
/.
James Kibo Parry
>
> Rose Marie Holt (rmh...@mindspring.com) wrote:
> >
> > 1,1,2,3,5 - Fibonacci straight.
> >
> > A-K-3-DOIDY-BEABLE - Kibo straight.
>
> A,5,8,Q,K -- closed straight under multiplication (mod 13)
>
>
Tom Kraemer, now look what you did. You invented a whole new genre
of humor that Comedy Central will now ruin when "Poker? I Didn't Even
Know Her!" premieres next week. It'll star several guys drinking
beer in their undershirts in a Las Vegas casino, with fabulous cash
prizes to the contestant who is dealt the funniest poker hand.
Also, Rose Marie, don't forget the Lucas straight:
1,1,3,2037,2600
YAY! OBSCURANTISM IN POKER!!!
-- K.
What IS obscurantism, anyway?
James Kibo Parry
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > And don't get me started on the rules for pachinko.
> >
> > -- K.
> >
> > Or strip pachinko.
>
> Not as disturbing as it sounds, when done virtually.
>
> MAME supports this.
That's precisely what I meant. "Pachinko Sexy Reaction", a Japanese
arcade game of recent vintage, playable via MAME 0.57 or later.
It's a PACHINKO game. That's dorky!
It's a VIDEO pachinko game. That's dorkier!
It's a STRIP video pachinko game. That's dorkiest!
It's a CARTOON strip video pachinko game. That's ur-dorky!
It's a cartoon strip video pachinko game featuring underage girls in their
school uniforms. That's JAPANESE!
Watching sexy ladies strip while playing pachinko might be kind of
fun, if neither was imaginary and you didn't have to ever look at
the pachinko machine while the women were twirling around naked.
But a video game featuring fake pachinko with fake stripping...
of cartoon characters... who may or may not be imaginary child
pornography... that's just wrong on even more levels than those
tomato-soup-flavored hard candies they sell in Japan.
They get the pachinko physics right, in that no matter how hard you
pull on the lever to release the ball (rotate the lever with the "M"
and "M" keys, shoot a ball with "Alt") it bounces around randomly.
I almost had one stuck once, but then a little Bobu Barkeru came in
with his Plinko stick and knocked the ball loose, then he exposed himself,
but it wasn't gross because he was just a cartoon.
Okay, I made up the part about naked Japanese Bob Barker. But
"Pachinko Sexy Reaction" is one of a long tradition of strip video games
from Japan. Usually you have to play Tetris or pinball or something
in order to gradually reveal low-quality pornography ("Gals Panic"
is the earliest one I can think of) but in this case it's pachinko,
which is inherently random. And just to emphasize how completely
random and therefore un-game-like this is, there's a slot machine in
the middle of the pachinko board.
There are different slot machines on different levels. You have to
beat five or six girls (I forget, it's been a couple days since I
played it all the way through) three times each. Before each level,
they show you this creepy faceless mannequin modelling the outfit
the girl will put on and then take off for you. After you beat the level
three times (which is accomplished by putting in lots of yen, because
it's entirely dependent on luck) there's a shot of the girl punching
"you" or otherwise getting some sort of revenge, which usually leads
to "you" having a giant blue teardrop hovering motionlessly in front
of the left side of your forehead. ("You" are a guy with long tan hair
in a Farrah 'do.) After you have seen all five or six girls strip
three times, they take you hostage, and then the game ends.
The other weird Japanese game they added support for in MAME 0.57
is Gourmet Battle Quiz Ryorioh CooKing. There are many Japanese
arcade games which serve up multiple-choice trivia questions, but
this one (from late 1998) is clearly a knockoff of the TV show
"Iron Chef". You play a chef who has to answer questions about
Japanese cuisine. (The four chefs you can play as are a middle-aged
authoritative-looking guy, a younger guy with karate skills, a
super-poncy guy dressed like the Japanese Scarlet Pimpernel in
a blond glam wig, and a kid in a football jersey listening to Japanese
rap music on his Walkman.) After answering questions (in Japanese,
of course) for about two hours, you have defeated all twelve enemy
chefs, including a pirate and a guy covered in silver body paint.
(His name is "XYZ", and I gather he comes from a planet where they're
really good at cooking Japanese food. He cooks food with laser
beams from his eyes in two different directions. I think he may
have once lost a cook-off to Bill Mumy and Dr. Smith, but they cheated
by getting help from the Robot so that doesn't count.)
So, Shiro, I'm glad you asked.
-- K.
How come they never did a
strip Pac-Man? (Other than
the third intermission.)
Shiro Akaishi
> The other weird Japanese game they added support for in MAME 0.57
> is Gourmet Battle Quiz Ryorioh CooKing. There are many Japanese
> arcade games which serve up multiple-choice trivia questions, but
> this one (from late 1998) is clearly a knockoff of the TV show
> "Iron Chef". You play a chef who has to answer questions about
> Japanese cuisine. (The four chefs you can play as are a middle-aged
> authoritative-looking guy, a younger guy with karate skills, a
> super-poncy guy dressed like the Japanese Scarlet Pimpernel in
> a blond glam wig, and a kid in a football jersey listening to Japanese
> rap music on his Walkman.) After answering questions (in Japanese,
> of course) for about two hours, you have defeated all twelve enemy
> chefs, including a pirate and a guy covered in silver body paint.
> (His name is "XYZ", and I gather he comes from a planet where they're
> really good at cooking Japanese food. He cooks food with laser
> beams from his eyes in two different directions. I think he may
> have once lost a cook-off to Bill Mumy and Dr. Smith, but they cheated
> by getting help from the Robot so that doesn't count.)
This sounds inter esting (and would doubt lessly be more inter esting if I
could read Japan ese (?)), but eng lish or japan ese, I seem to have been cut
off from my l33t ROM sup plier. I guess it may be a while be fore I can see
this for my self. Oh well.
Nick Bensema
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> -- K.
>
> How come they never did a
> strip Pac-Man? (Other than
> the third intermission.)
It used to be a goal of mine to make it to the third intermission on
Pac-Man.
Then I could show people and impress them with the pac-nudity.
Unfortunately, I realized when actually trying to accomplish this that
it would take longer than the attention spans of most people, even those
who would give a rat's ass.
So now I just buy French fries and stare at them.
--
Nick Bensema <ni...@io.com> ICQ#2135445
==== ======= ============== http://www.io.com/~nickb/
Joseph Michael Bay
>And don't get me started on the rules for pachinko.
> -- K.
> Or strip pachinko.
What happened to that guy anyway?
--
Joseph M. Bay Lamont Sanford Junior University
Putting the "harm" in molecular pharmacology since 1998
t3H quIc/< 6roWn Ph0x0r jUmP3D ovER T3h 14zY do9
Do you like http://www.stanford.edu/~jmbay gladiator movies?
Special K
Parry) wrote:
>Okay, I made up the part about naked Japanese Bob Barker. But
>"Pachinko Sexy Reaction" is one of a long tradition of strip video games
>from Japan. Usually you have to play Tetris or pinball or something
>in order to gradually reveal low-quality pornography ("Gals Panic"
>is the earliest one I can think of)
Did you know about the Gals Panic machine located in the filthiest,
smelliest truck stop in Kentucky?
No?
Well, now you know.
("Strip Qix" is the best way to describe Gals Panic, for those of you
who've never seen it. It's available for MAME.)
Kenton "The Great Requiem" Cernea
President Emeritus, Tri-State Anime Club
http://members.sockets.net/~requiem
WILL THE GODDESS OF FATE SMILE DOWN UPON HIM?