Biil and Dick redux.
Roger Douglas
wrote, back in January:
Bill, Dick and Hillary are sitting in a private drawing room in the
White House. Bill is watching the new popular TV game show, Scurrilous
Allegations, Dick is asleep. Hillary is sitting at her desk, going
though a pile of papers, furiously scratching out, correcting and
writing notes.
Bill: What are you doing, Honey?
Hillary: Just some stuff I've been working on with your speechwriters,
dear.
Dick (waking up): Huh? Wassat?
Bill: So, some new speeches for me? What have you got?
Hillary: Well, they've done the Weaselly Evasive Denial speech; the
Barefaced Categorical Denial speech; the Minor Admission, Moment of
Weakness, Nothing Illegal speech; the Abject Confession speech and the
Tearful Resignation speech.
Bill: What?? Those Bastards!
--R.
James Kibo Parry
>
> I just wanted to point out that I might have been prophetic when I
> wrote, back in January:
>
>
> Bill, Dick and Hillary are sitting in a private drawing room in the
> White House. Bill is watching the new popular TV game show, Scurrilous
> Allegations, Dick is asleep. Hillary is sitting at her desk, going
> though a pile of papers, furiously scratching out, correcting and
> writing notes.
Meanwhile, Ernie has some objects in his database that Bert needs to
modify. Ernie uses one of the telephones floating in the bathtub to
submit a query form to the Gestalt Manager, who is an invisible cloud
of chemicals which change the bathtub into a goldfish bowl. However,
Pat and Chris are busy trying to get Douglas Hofstader to give them
gender in this Educational Object Economy.
Questions --
1.) If Dick claims ownership of Ernie's object, would Bert object?
2.) How many transport layers are there between Bert's socket and
Ernie's stream?
3.) If Dick's request to kill Ernie cannot be completed until Bert's death,
and Ernie's request to kill Bert cannot be completed until Dick's death,
and Bert's request to kill Dick cannot be completed until after
Dick's death, does this lead to a race condition, a crushed server,
ENOTTY, or deadlock?
4.) Would Richard Nixon look good with his hair in deadlocks?
5.) Bert greps Ernie's crontab from the NFS volumes mounted from the
SCSI server over the FDDI LAN. Should Bert use agrep, egrep,
fgrep, SYSV grep, BSD grep, or GNU grep, and if he uses GNU grep,
does that mean he has to give the source code to Ernie's crontab
to the FSF or the LPF?
6.) Why doesn't everyone use OS/2, nature's most perfect operating system?
7.) Why doesn't everyone use Linux, nature's most perfect operating system?
8.) If Bill resigns, does Ernie become president?
> Bill: What are you doing, Honey?
> Hillary: Just some stuff I've been working on with your speechwriters,
> dear.
> Dick (waking up): Huh? Wassat?
> Bill: So, some new speeches for me? What have you got?
> Hillary: Well, they've done the Weaselly Evasive Denial speech; the
> Barefaced Categorical Denial speech; the Minor Admission, Moment of
> Weakness, Nothing Illegal speech; the Abject Confession speech and the
> Tearful Resignation speech.
> Bill: What?? Those Bastards!
Hey, Bill, cheer up! The first Amendment says that those speeches are free!
-- K.
MY TAX DOLLARS PAID FOR THESE
EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stefan Kapusniak
In alt.religion.kibology, ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
>1.) If Dick claims ownership of Ernie's object, would Bert object?
Only if Bert had previously locked Ernie's object in a
small safe with a SPECIAL combination lock made out of
read-locks, write-locks, spin-locks and Scottish Lochs.
>2.) How many transport layers are there between Bert's socket and
> Ernie's stream?
It depends on which level are the platforms of the subway
station on which Ernie and Bert have placed their socket
and stream, and whether these suspicious packages have
been destroyed in a controlled explosion by security in
liason with the bomb squad.
>3.) If Dick's request to kill Ernie cannot be completed until Bert's death,
> and Ernie's request to kill Bert cannot be completed until Dick's death,
> and Bert's request to kill Dick cannot be completed until after
> Dick's death, does this lead to a race condition, a crushed server,
> ENOTTY, or deadlock?
It leads to 'Deadlock' the wacky new black comedy movie
based on a previously unheard of Elmore Leonard novel.
>4.) Would Richard Nixon look good with his hair in deadlocks?
<expletive deleted>
>5.) Bert greps Ernie's crontab from the NFS volumes mounted from the
> SCSI server over the FDDI LAN. Should Bert use agrep, egrep,
> fgrep, SYSV grep, BSD grep, or GNU grep, and if he uses GNU grep,
> does that mean he has to give the source code to Ernie's crontab
> to the FSF or the LPF?
He should use GNU grep, because it proves he is a godless
anarcho-communist and helps forment the revolution. He
must give, the source code of Ernie's crontab, Ernie's genome,
all of Ernie's relations and descendents genomes, and
the genome of anyone who has ever touched Ernie, to RMS
for incorporation into the GNUman-genome project [the
webpage of which has not been updated for 5 years], and
therefore allowing RMS to annoy Eric Raymond even more.
It means that everyone in the WORLD will be allowed to
clone or alter GNU/Ernie, they can even charge for this, but
they can't prevent anyone else from cloning or altering
GNU/Ernie or a derivative of GNU/Ernie. Unless, of course,
the fundamental technolgoies underlying Ernie are patented
or Ernie is classified as a munition for export purposes.
>6.) Why doesn't everyone use OS/2, nature's most perfect operating system?
Because it was designed by IBM to be the next version of
DOS, the world crummiest operating system before WebTV-OS.
>7.) Why doesn't everyone use Linux, nature's most perfect operating system?
Yessss! FIRST COMMENT! D00DZ Linux R0X!!!1
-- Anonymous Coward
Can't Rob do something about GNOME-suporting lamers who
keep posting 'first comments' and raising stupid objections
to the QT license?
-- Anonymous Coward
Troll. Troll. Trolltech Troll.
I don't know why all you people don't just use Windows.
Bill Gates is a genius and proves it by having more
money than YOU. Windows NT is waaaaay better than your
sucky KDE or GNOME which nobody can even compile.
-- Anonymous Coward
MEEPT
-- MEEPT
>8.) If Bill resigns, does Ernie become president?
Yes, but only of Microsoft.
>Hey, Bill, cheer up! The first Amendment says that those speeches are free!
Free like BEER, and not like SPEECH.
> -- K.
>
> MY TAX DOLLARS PAID FOR THESE
> EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<alt.politics.jaffo>
The goverment subsidy of exclamation points is purest
NEO-SOCIALISM at its WORST, and to is blame for all you
peoples DISBELIEF in the truths of objective reality,
which makes you the prime cause of the current world
economic crisis. Here's a URL which proves my point:
http://www.jewishcronicle.com/HOTCHYX?adfa7584245=lsb-msg-id
</alt.politics.jaffo>
-- Kapusniak, Stefan m
Jaffo
Kapusniak said:
: <alt.politics.jaffo>
:
: The goverment subsidy of exclamation points is purest
: NEO-SOCIALISM at its WORST, and to is blame for all you
: peoples DISBELIEF in the truths of objective reality,
: which makes you the prime cause of the current world
: economic crisis. Here's a URL which proves my point:
:
: http://www.jewishcronicle.com/HOTCHYX?adfa7584245=lsb-msg-id
:
: </alt.politics.jaffo>
5 GJP
Jaffo
--
The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain,
egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous; on the contrary it
makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind.
Failure makes people bitter and cruel. -- W. Somerset Maugham