Dark Musings: 18
Anonymous
(18)
These are a factual account of the rise and fall of a bdsm
relationship. I wrote these as a healing experience, with the
hope that they might also be a learning experience for others.
My life has taken another turn since this time, and feelings that I
had then, are no longer valid now.
####
I was surprised to note that the person who had been watching the
flogging, had left. Jeffery explained that they had slipped out
just before he actually entered my body. I hadn't noticed any of
it, I was so deep into what was happening.
Jeffery and I went back downstairs and I know I was in a happy
daze. I was stunned that the flogging hadn't hurt, and I kept
telling people there how wonderful it had been. I am sure they got
sick of hearing about it, but they were very kind and didn't let me
know.
Because the flogging had felt so good, I was sure Jeffery had gone
easy on me. On the contrary, he assured me several times that he
had, in fact, whaled away very hard with his heavy flogger, and my
fears of being a wimp were unfounded.
Watching the other scenes around me unfold, I felt as if I were
Alice in a strange but wonderful sort of Wonderland. I saw so many
things that I found amazing. Some I wanted to try, some I didn't,
but all unique and fascinating.
Time passed, with Jeffery and I talking to people and watching
scenes. Eventually he whispered to me that he would like us to try
a public scene. He would flog me in the standing frame.
Again, he was extremely considerate of my feelings, and talked to
me beforehand to make certain I felt comfortable with this. I was
scared, but excited, and wanted more than anything to please him.
After a few minutes, I was successfully strapped into the standing
frame, and Jeffery began to flog me again.
It was different this time, standing, but it still felt so very
good. A few times there was a sharper pain. I later learned that
these were from unintentional 'wraps', the tips of the flogger
wrapping around further than Jeffery had intended. At the time, I
remember that they hurt more than usual, but I didn't say anything
to him. I didn't know about wrap, as this was only my second
flogging, and I wasn't entirely sure if Jeffery was deliberately
making it more painful this time.
I was not conscious of anyone else in the room. As he flogged me,
it was as if only he and I existed. I felt the sexual heat rise in
me as the flogging proceeded, and at one point when he had come
around to kiss me and stroke my front, I lunged at him. The chains
prevented me from getting to my goal. I remember that at the time,
all I could think of was how very much I wanted him. I was wild
for him, crazy with desire and heat. And so very frustrated
because the object of my lust was not within my reach.
This went on for a while further, him striking me with the
floggers, him teasing me sexually, me in a frenzy of desire. In
pity for my torment, he kissed me deeply and then ordered me to
come. I shuddered as the feeling washed over me. The relief was
temporary. The flogging continued and the heat built again.
I do not remember much of the rest of the flogging. I was in a
state of floating and sexual ecstasy. At the end, he cuddled me
and told me of his love and pride.
The rest of the night there is a haze of unreality. I was flying
still from the floggings earlier, and the wonderful sex with
Jeffery. I had several tremendous bruises forming, and I wore them
with pride. I was happy and excited, and for a time, all was right
with the world.
I learned so many things that day. I learned how exciting it can
be to give myself to someone both in pain and in pleasure. I
learned how good it felt to actually fulfill a fantasy. I learned
that my trust was not misplaced. I learned that I was not the wimp
I had feared. And I learned what it was like to give myself deeply
and completely, with love.
Dark