aol helps crooked Merrill Lynch
Claire Day
Crooked Merrill Lynch
Indianapolis stockbroker Linda Reiber admits she listened to Joe Pedro
when she bought the sewer trash May 1994 instead of the Merrill Lynch
mutual funds I ordered in April 1994.
Linda admits she should have set up 4 CMA a/c in April 1994 instead of
the 3 invester a/c she forced on me. My letter April 22 1994 proves
both.
Linda admits the two papers I signed June 2 1994 are lies, not legal:
she admits womanizer Fred Bostaman lied I went to Merrill Lynch June 2
1994 to buy the sewer trash she bought in May 1994: Fred lies I gave
my sons power of attorney.
Linda admits I told her ÒNever let my Norfolk Southern dividends get
in my sonsÕ a/c.Ó where she put them. Jody, FredÕs daughter, tells me
I have proof of everything I charge.
Linda promises me I will get my $335,532, $500,000 If I return to In.
to sue crooked Merrill Lynch.
Proctors
Stevens
Dawn! Back so soon?!
stevens/ibm/net
alt.aol-sucks Troll Patrol; John Galt, Proprietor
(alt.aol-sucks is a wholly-owned subsidiary of USENET, a meow.org production)
EVERYONE LOVES MR. CHICKEN
Herriman
>Crooked Merrill Lynch
>
>Indianapolis stockbroker Linda Reiber admits she listened to Joe Pedro
>when she bought the sewer trash May 1994 instead of the Merrill Lynch
>mutual funds I ordered in April 1994.
>Linda admits she should have set up 4 CMA a/c in April 1994 instead of
>the 3 invester a/c she forced on me. My letter April 22 1994 proves
>both.
You were sold sewer trash instead of mutual funds. Alas, this is
becoming all too common a trend in the financial products industry.
Analysts believe that the abundance of sewer trash, as weighed against
the scarcity of mutual funds, has led to long-range strategic
compromises within investment houses. Mutual funds take time, effort,
and some amount of market cooperation to manage. But all you need is
a truck and a good pump to move sewer trash!
>Linda admits the two papers I signed June 2 1994 are lies, not legal:
>she admits womanizer Fred Bostaman lied I went to Merrill Lynch June 2
>1994 to buy the sewer trash she bought in May 1994: Fred lies I gave
>my sons power of attorney.
Curiously, the same analysts studying the sewer trash/mutual fund
imbalance have noted a marked increase in sexual activity among fund
managers. They call this trend the "sex factor," and have given it,
on graphs and charts, the designation of an erect penis. Using
standard statistical means analysis, it is easy to see that the sale
of sewer trash to unwitting clients is usually followed by periods of
high-intensity sexual activity -- often with secretaries -- during
which the manager is also heard to laugh uproariously and repeat the
phrase, "One born every minute!" until collapsing in a sweaty tangle
of hyperventilation, shared bodily fluids, and contented exhaustion.
Later, the secretary lets herself out.
>Linda admits I told her ÒNever let my Norfolk Southern dividends get
>in my sonsÕ a/c.Ó where she put them. Jody, FredÕs daughter, tells me
>I have proof of everything I charge.
>Linda promises me I will get my $335,532, $500,000 If I return to In.
>to sue crooked Merrill Lynch.
Allow me to paraphrase your plaint in a little form we like to call,
in this newsgroup, "bisk".
(To the tune of "I'm a Believer," by the Monkees)
I thought funds were for sale from Merril Lynch
There to snap up, and let mature
Ah, I was out to invest
Make some simoleas
Get a second Beemer and new pectorals....
Then I got Sewer Trash!
Cubic gallons later,
I'm half-wigged out!
Posting every day!
I'm insane!
Ohhhhhhhhh
I'm moving back to
Indiana
Without a prayer....
RC
Herriman
On Mon, 29 Sep 1997 17:04:18 GMT, spam...@cyber-wizard.com (Kutulu)
wrote:
>lookm@.no.spam.com (Herriman) wrote:
>
><some good stuff, but to a lousy troll>
>
>: Allow me to paraphrase your plaint in a little form we like to call,
>: in this newsgroup, "bisk".
>
>I think you have "bisk" misinterpreted, but it's ok.
Heh.
> Check out the FAQ's in
>many of the regular's .sigs for more info.
Heh heh.
>And, BTW, Please don't feed the trolls. Especially this one.
Heh heh heh.
From Memory Lane....
Subject: Re: Aol is sucks!!!!!what you can do with ther cd rom
bisk
From: herr...@cris.com (Richard Cretan)
Date: 1996/05/04
Message-Id: <4mffvq$a...@tribune.concentric.net>
Newsgroups: alt.aol-sucks
[More Headers]
(snip)
>The AOL Poetrython, now in its fifth poem, continues. The Poetrython
>was inspired by saun...@rio.com, who began it -- perhaps
>unintentionally -- with the post "AOL is sucks!!!what you can do with
>ther cd rom bisk," which consisted entirely of the following cryptic
>lines describing the ritualistic destruction of AOL disks:
(snip)
>Posterkid found method in this madness, and realized that it was,
>indeed, a new form of poetry. Since then, he and I have been trying
>our hands at this challenging, elusive, and dangerous form.
RC
(with apologies to Kutulu, who couldn't have known)
Lindell B. Jones, Jr.
On Mon, 29 Sep 1997 07:32:39 GMT, lookm@.no.spam.com (Herriman) said
thusly to Claire Day...
<sorry for the lack of snippery, but this is too good to snip>
>Allow me to paraphrase your plaint in a little form we like to call,
>in this newsgroup, "bisk".
>
>
>(To the tune of "I'm a Believer," by the Monkees)
>
>
>I thought funds were for sale from Merril Lynch
>There to snap up, and let mature
>Ah, I was out to invest
>Make some simoleas
>Get a second Beemer and new pectorals....
>Then I got Sewer Trash!
>Cubic gallons later,
>I'm half-wigged out!
>Posting every day!
>I'm insane!
>Ohhhhhhhhh
>I'm moving back to
>Indiana
>Without a prayer....
ROTFLMAO! *Never* did I think anything good could possibly come out of
the presence of Ms. "Crooked Merrill Lynch". This, however, is the
funniest post I've seen in a *long* time. Thanks, Richard, for a
*much* needed laugh...
--
Lindell B. Jones, Jr.
lindellj at qnet dot com
http://www.qnet.com/~lindellj
Member: alt.aol-sucks Troll Patrol
Official Bisk Slaming Division
JoeM
On Mon, 29 Sep 1997 17:04:18 GMT, spam...@cyber-wizard.com (Kutulu) wrote:
>lookm@.no.spam.com (Herriman) wrote:
>
><some good stuff, but to a lousy troll>
>
>: Allow me to paraphrase your plaint in a little form we like to call,
>: in this newsgroup, "bisk".
>
>I think you have "bisk" misinterpreted, but it's ok. Check out the FAQ's in
>many of the regular's .sigs for more info.
>
>And, BTW, Please don't feed the trolls. Especially this one.
<ahem> Kutulu, you've been here a looong time, so you should probably know
better than to lecture Mr. Cretan. I'm sure he knew exactly what he was doing.
Besides, he's the only regular here that actually makes me look forward to
Claire's cluefucked babble, if only to read his hilarious replys.
HTH
-- JoeM
Labor Relations manager, alt.aol-sucks
Director, CavyMom Fan Club, Wheeping and Gnashing of Teeth Division
-------------------------------------------------------------------
jbmart at dimensional dot com
"I can't fart and chew gum at the same time,
and I'm on AOL!" - one of the quotes that didn't
quite make it into AOL's latest marketing campaign
Clark Johnson
>lookm@.no.spam.com (Herriman) wrote:
>
><some good stuff, but to a lousy troll>
<pssst! great stuff, as is invariably the case>
>: Allow me to paraphrase your plaint in a little form we like to call,
>: in this newsgroup, "bisk".
>
>I think you have "bisk" misinterpreted, but it's ok. Check out the FAQ's in
>many of the regular's .sigs for more info.
<chuckle>
>And, BTW, Please don't feed the trolls. Especially this one.
<FreePuzzlePiece>
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtains...
</FreePuzzlePiece>
Clark "Mehawww!"--A country cat
--
Director of Mirrors & Magic, IBAASP,
Illusion Is An Art But Magic Has To Be Seen To Be Believed Division
"Zut alors! With zee new AOL, I am no looking at zee deenozaur! Non,
that ees passé! Now ees peekchur of gurlz without zee cloze! Plus
ça change, plus ça take eet all off! Geet that AOL, and you see you
are having zee beeg baguette, eh? Point and cleek!"
--6/19/97 17:51:54, only 1 guess allowed.