----== Posted via Newsfeed.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! >100,000 Newsgroups
---= 19 East/West-Coast Specialized Servers - Total Privacy via Encryption =---
Jacqui
"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f781ce8$1...@127.0.0.1...
Geoff Bateman
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:3f79d4d1$0$64...@hades.is.co.za...
"Jimbo" <j...@coldmail.com> wrote in message
news:3f7c2a3a$1...@127.0.0.1...
Providing the camera person is a professional, does not interfere and
has a very good market that will bring the highest prices!! :>)))
Oh, I see. You thought you were going to hold the camera. I thought you
were going to get someone else to do the filming, while you did the
interfering! :>)
Hold on. Let me get some of those clothes off first. Can't see much with
them hiding all the good things! Ah yes, I see............well, the
front ain't half bad!
Hmmmmmmmmm
Well, you do seem to be experienced in thsi, but don't you think there
are too many people waiting with abated breath to see what will happen
next??
Ha! AND the other 10 million people reading this NG!! :>)) Stripping in
public is not really my forte!!!!!
But wht about all those others waiting with abated breath to see what
happens??
Ah..well...that's different then, isn't it? Where do we start?
Well, there's a bit of luck! My sofa happens to be so big and comfy!
Where to from here, lover?
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
<snip>
Well, if we weren't panting, there would be very little to record this
on film!!
Another boring soapie?? Nah - not good enough.
And Tibetan Yaks??? Yeeech!
Hence the inspiration for the song - Yaketty Yak
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
Aaaah - so THAT is what inspired that song. Hmm.......Exuse my
ignorance........what song Yaketty Yak????????? Must be my blond hair
(on my head, silly!!)
Puleeze! Thanks for that. Only hairy where it it is important (like on
my head??)
>'Tis their passion my dear. Yaks are vigorous (in those temperatures
it's understandable), but also inventive,
> sensuous, considerate of their mate and somewhat noisy as passion
mounts.
I can understand them Yaks being vigarous in that snow. Inventive,
sensous etc.?? You sure you don't know me???????? :>))
> It is also a closely guarded historical fact that Vatsyayana, in
writing the sacred Indian love text 'Kama Sutra' obtained much of
> his material, particularly the love positions, from close observation
of Tibetan Yaks doing their bit.
Well, so much for the closely guarded historical fact. Ain't so closely
guarded anymore!! And the Kama Sutra? Well, it may surprise you guys,
but I'm an avid student of that beautiful publication. And a lot of
those positions are very exciting!
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
<snip>
> Well, so much for the closely guarded historical fact. Ain't so closely
> guarded anymore!! And the Kama Sutra? Well, it may surprise you guys,
> but I'm an avid student of that beautiful publication. And a lot of
> those positions are very exciting!
>
I was putting the Kama Sutra into practice a few years ago.
I turned over two pages at once and sprained my ankle. Could have been
worse I guess.
Hey Jacqui - why don't you throw out the "garbage" and write me an email
I could use a penpal. It would give me something to read after lock-up
You could even visit me and smuggle in some cigarettes.
Anyway - gotta get back to the exercise yard.
Bye for now!
"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:frjlb.160573$bo1.1...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
Nah... I'm not into modern literature!! LOL
> Anyway, let's not get too serious, I like the bit about you being
inventive and sensuous. A sense of humour also! And last but
> not least - hair on the head only? - that's my girl.
> I hope you've noted this Jimbo.
Some like it hot - some love to play in the shade of the garden!
> I was putting the Kama Sutra into practice a few years ago. I turned
over two pages at once and sprained my ankle. Could have
> been worse I guess.
Not very fit for an FBI agent, are you?? Or are you a paper jockey???
>
> Hey Jacqui - why don't you throw out the "garbage" and write me an
email. I could use a penpal. It would give me something to
> read after lock-up. You could even visit me and smuggle in some
cigarettes.
Did so, Jimbo. Let me know if you got it?? And cigarettes. You bad, BAD
boy!! (Says she, lighting up a Camel Light!)
>
> Anyway - gotta get back to the exercise yard.
> Bye for now!
You do that. And don't only exercise the ankle. You gotta be fit, boyo!!
Bye for now as well also too!
J
"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:evZkb.159133$bo1....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
FBI?? F bloody I????? So you're obviously an investigative fellow??
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
Hey Jimbo - the internet rejected your e-mail address as 'garbage!' and
bounced my mail to you right back to me! Better let me have a better
one.
Bye for now
J
As long as the address is valid! Not like some people that send me a
garbage address!! LOL
--
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
"jacqui" <jac...@stillathome.net> wrote in message
news:KYadneJyS9E...@is.co.za...
And indeed you're right, I only get an hour on the library computer. So I
have to make the most of it.
Perhaps the *clue* to my email address was too cryptic. So here is my
email address. Help yourselves spammers!!
But as we seem to be providing a public service to the community it is
perhaps unfair to go private.
p.s. I resent being labelled a cad - you bounder!
Was this for the FBI, or for your personal pleasure??? :>))
Nah - never thought he was, a cad that is. Sounds like a pleasant
cobber, actually.
Don't talk about that! I wonder what qualifies me all of a sardine to be
bombarded by Viagra adverts?? From countries like France, Sweden et al!
Now I have read that there is a Viagra being developed for women, and
maybe, MAYBE, one day, when I'm old and grey, I might think of it. Only
think, mind you! But that still doesn't give every Tom, Dick and Mary
the right to try and sell me men's Viagra! Or to advertise some pill
that will allow me to have an erection longer!! Wouldn't that be a
sight - me in a nudist camp, proudly exposing my breasts, with an
erection that will last for hours!!!!! I killfile them all, but they
keep on coming back with a different address.
Said Jimbo as he slapped Mr. Bateman lightly with his white glove on the
cheek. "I challenge you to a duel at sunrise tomorrow morning, you
bounder! And as you insulted me first, I get to chose the weapons. Water
pistols it will be!!" Oh my, where is chivalry gone these days! If only
gentlemen like that still existed, and if only they would duel for my
favours. Sigh. That must have been a wonderful time. And how could
anyone complain that we are off thread! There is SO much life in this
NG, and it's so quiet. Just the three of us!! WONDERFUL! I can just
about hear the birds twitter in the trees. :>))
So glad you said figuratively speaking!! I do shower, you know. And
pretty regular too, like every month that has 28 or 29 days!! :>))
And Sheik Nefzawi - what can one say that hasn't been said by far more
qualified people!
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
There is a kind of natural balance. The junk emails I get are aimed at
either wanting me to add inches or remove inches. Apart from Helga's
Farmyard Fun. I didn't explore that one. And the link to a watersports
site had nothing to do with surfing.
As for viagra for women, in my experience as women get older they get
hornier. Well... I haven't tested the theory beyond 55 actually. But I
believe it to be true.
By the way - any women reading this who would like to participate in a
controlled, scientific study - let me know.
NP: Me and Julio down by the schoolyard
Well I am a pom actually mate. No point trying to hide the fact. I won't
bore you with the euphamisms we have for Aussies.
I'm sure you've heard them all :-)
Robber's dog - I would wear as a badge of honour.
Gym mats, cushions, beer, Jacqui and the Karma Sutra. You know how to party
mate. I'll be there.
"Pleasant cobber? Ha. She's taking the bait.
The nice guy routine is working just as I knew it would. She's convinced
those pictures of Mel Gibson that I emailed to her are really me.
Once I have crushed this interfering Geoff character like an insect, she
will be mine, MINE! MINE!"
HWAR HWAR HWAR HWARRRRRRRRRR!"
The rats, cockroaches and other denizens of his underground kingdon fled as
his evil laugh echoed off the cold walls.
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
It depends of course where you want to add or remove the inches. Now I
couldn't imagine ANY man wanting to ADD inches to his wasteline.
> Apart from Helga'sFarmyard Fun. I didn't explore that one.
Probably missed a good one. Imagine playing with all those chicks!
> And the link to a watersports site had nothing to do with surfing.
(Thinks) never tried it in the bath!)
>
> As for viagra for women, in my experience as women get older they get
hornier.
Wow!! Something to look forward to. Only 30 years to go!!!
> Well... I haven't tested the theory beyond 55 actually. But I believe
it to be true.
Stick around, guy, for another 30 years. I'll give you an invite!!!
:>))
>
> By the way - any women reading this who would like to participate in a
controlled, scientific study - let
> me know.
Send the application form soonest!
You an Julio? Birds?? Kinky, man!!
So glad to see you've added me onto your list! Made my day!! Thanks.
The next Alfred Hitchcock in the making!
A message to all the women who have written to me. Thanks for the
overwhelming response. I am working my way through them now. But I'd like
to say a special thanks to Jacqui from South Africa for the pictures. It's
a pity your face was obscured by someone's leg (I think it was a leg) but I
can see you have very nice skin. I hope the sofa that was shown in the
final picture has loose covers that you can get dry cleaned.
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
"Geoff Bateman" <be...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:7uCnb.168988$bo1.1...@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
I'm convinced we are the only three people here...
Geoff Bateman OAM
Never tell a lie when the truth will do
******************************************
"Father Tiresias" <bli...@bythegods.com> wrote in message
news:3fa5ff2c$1...@127.0.0.1...
Aw!! Gee whizzz. That's the worst news I've heard for yonks!!!! But what
has happened to the hero that wanted to discuss intimate things with
me???
However, part of this is my own fault. I had a computer problem, and
lost all my mail and NG contents. Still don't know what happened.
Managed to get back again, but it tells me thee are 60 messages in this
newsgroup, and I only get 3!! Is Jimbo blocking my outside communication
capability?? Is he jealous??
Father, dear Father. Forgive me, but I have to tell you that there is a
lurker or two around as well.
I certainly would not block your communications even if I knew how.. But
you have reminded me of a very old joke.
A man is walking across a very narrow bridge and there is a woman walking
towards him. There just wasn't enough room for two people to pass on the
bridge. So he had to decide whether to block her passage or toss himself
off.
I know what I would have done.
And as for intimate things. Let's see... well I'm a bit of an amateur
photographer and a magazine here is running a competition where the theme is
"cold". And my idea is an extreme close up of a very cold, very erect,
female nipple. So the thing is Jacqui, I need a model if you're interested.
And assuming your nipples are up to the job.
I can supply some ice cubes. If they don't work I think some tweaking and
nibbling would help. Would certainly help me anyway.
I don't want Geoff to feel left out. Perhaps he could erect the tripod.
> I certainly would not block your communications even if I knew how..
But you have reminded me of a
> very old joke.
>
> A man is walking across a very narrow bridge and there is a woman
walking towards him. There just
> wasn't enough room for two people to pass on the bridge. So he had to
decide whether to block her
> passage or toss himself off.
>
> I know what I would have done.
Jumped over the bridge and let her pass, 'cause she wasn't me? You could
have blocked my passage, then we could have a nice chat!!
>
> And as for intimate things. Let's see... well I'm a bit of an amateur
photographer and a magazine here
> is running a competition where the theme is "cold". And my idea is an
extreme close up of a very
> cold, very erect, female nipple. So the thing is Jacqui, I need a
model if you're interested.
> And assuming your nipples are up to the job.
Oooh yes - they will do quite nicely. And you won't even need ice.
>
> I can supply some ice cubes. If they don't work I think some tweaking
and nibbling would help.
> Would certainly help me anyway.
Yes, the tweaking and nibbling bit sounds quite good.
>
> I don't want Geoff to feel left out. Perhaps he could erect the
tripod.
Don't let anybody ever accuse you of not being a gentleman!! :>))))
No no - don't despair. I'm still here. Just have been away for a break
for a few days, but I'm roaring to go again!!
jacqui
And ALL OVER as well, my boy!! Eat your heart out!!
Now now, Sir, and which 'Heart" would you be talking about???