Long and boring stuff for elistist racists: Portrait of an elitist racist
Haluk Skywalker
of stuff may skip safely to the last paragraph. Those who'd like to know a
little about me, please keep reading.
About a month ago I found a brochure in my postbox. It was from Tokyo
restaurant, located about 15 minutes walk from my apartment and brochure was
featuring the entire menu of the restaurant. Tokyo restaurant served
Japanese home meals and izakaya sort of Japanese food and seemed to have
targeted Japanese. As I was homesick at home, I ordered tendon and some
sushi right that evening. I remember I have told you guys about this, on a
message I have composed on a night I was as drunk as tonight.
Taste of their food resembled that of my ex-wife's. I have taken my girl
friend (a Turk) to this restaurant about two weeks ago. I showed her how to
use chopsticks etc. My intention wasn't to look cool or anything. All I
wanted was to introduce her this culture, now an essential part of mine.
Tonight, probably because I've been thinking since early morning about my
children, my ex-wife and my previous life in Japan, I decided to go to Tokyo
restaurant again, alone this time, and to quench my desire.
When I went in the place there was no one except the personnel. Perhaps you
have heard, there have been some bombings in Istanbul a few days ago and
people do not go out very much since than. As Japanese are overly safe in
Japan, such incidents scare them shitless. Therefore this place, normally
packed with Japanese, was all empty.
I went in, there was no "Irasshai", no "Maido"... I preferred sitting by the
counter rather than on table. Turkish busboy came and I ordered a bottle of
Asahi Super Dry. While sipping on my beer I's trying to make up my mind as
to what to eat. I placed my order for gyouza, gyuu tataki and yakisoba. I
have gulped down a few bottles of beer until my order delivered. I had a few
more with my meal. Then I ordered another bottle of beer and some sushi.
Riyoricho, who had been quit until that moment, commented that I ate like a
pig, obviously he didn't think I could understand him. I had plenty of time
to think about my life, about what has happened, and about what has been
discussed in this group today.
Let me give you a short introduction about myself:
I's living in Japan until 1999. My wife was a Japanese and we had two
children, my two year old daughter and seven month old son. I had gone to
Japan to learn about the culture and the language of my ex-wife for a
predetermined period of 3 years. In 1999, having been in Japan for four
years, although my initial plans were for 3 years, facts that we were still
living in Japan, that my children weren't likely to know anything about my
culture were eating me. I's thinking of the entire Japanese education system
as a production line that made robots out of otherwise healthy Japanese
children and the individualism and originality of my children mattered to me
most. I was determined, we must have moved back to Turkey.
As the initial deal with my wife was we were to live in Japan for 3 years or
so only, I never thought it would be a problem for her to move back to
Turkey. In the end a deal was a deal and we, right at the beginning, had
decided to live in Japan for 3 years only. When I offered her to go back to
Turkey her response weren't negative. But eventually I'm suppressing my
sorrow, drinking Asahi Super Dry and eating the stuff that my ex-wife cooked
best in a Japanese Restaurant located in Istanbul Turkey all alone and It's
been four long fuckin' years they are not with me.
I watch yakuza movies, hoping to keep my Osakaben as fluent as it once was,
and study kanji although I hate it. I dine out in a Japanese restaurant and
I pay four times the money I'd normally pay for a fancy dinner. About 20% of
my monthly income is paid for international phonecalls. With the current
education system of Japan, my children will never be able to speak English
or Turkish fluent enough to communicate well with their father. Therefore I
must keep my Japanese sharp.
There are different reasons I'm telling you all this stuff. First of all,
these are not the kind of thing that I can tell about to my friends here and
I got to get these of my chest tonight. Second, I have had more beer than I
must have had. Third and the most important reason is, I know some of you
have children from your Japanese wives, got sick of Japan and are willing to
go back home. All I wanted is to give you some insight on what could
possible happen after you returned home. Your children and your wives will
suffer as much as you once suffered and they will as much miss their
hometown and their country as you now do. Most importantly, your life will
not be as you now expect it to be either. As a wise man once said, you never
can go back home.
Accept the transformation, you're something different now.
-Xperimental-
"Haluk Skywalker" <yokoo...@spam.net> wrote in message
news:bppt7n$1qifak$1...@ID-201738.news.uni-berlin.de...
Raj Feridun
everything works out for you and somehow you can be reunited with your
family. In the meantime take care of yourself in Istanbul.
Raj
Marc
So what happened after you said it was time to move back to Turkey? Did your
wife just not want to go?
I actually had the opposite problem, I was content to stay in Japan and my
Japanese wife could not wait to go back to the USA, in particular, New York
City. So I eventually decided to return to the US, and I get a good job, but
it is in Boston, not New York. After I move back to the US my wife goes to
New York and finds a job and we have a commuter marriage for about 5 years.
But after a while it all is too much hassle and the trips become more
infrequent. At this point I am not sure if I am married or not.
So I would have been just as well off if I had stayed in Japan. My wife
could have moved back to the US and lived in New York and had the same life
she is having now.
But it is different for me since no children are involved. You give as part
of your reason for wanting to leave Japan is that you thought the education
system was too stifling. But leaving Japan didn't solve that, since your
children are still in the Japanese school system.
How about arranging for the children to come spend extended vacations in
Turkey? I had a Japanese friend in the US who sent his kids back to Japan
each summer where they were doted on by various grandparents, etc. They
looked forward to the trips and acquired a real connection with Japan. On
the other hand, I suppose it is not the same if they don't have a reason
everyday to understand Turkish, etc.
And what does this thread have to do with elitist racists? I have to say
this has to be one of the most overused terms on the internet... it is one
of those terms that is easy to throw out, hard to prove or disprove (which
is precisely why it is so commonly used) and probably gives the person
making the claim some sort of satisfaction that comes with unearned victim
status. But I imagine you were just being sardonic.
Haluk Skywalker
yazdı:Yagwb.218989$9E1.1194329@attbi_s52...
>
> So what happened after you said it was time to move back to Turkey? Did
your
> wife just not want to go?
I wish she did. That'd make everything a great deal easier, I wouldn't leave
Japan.
Instead she seemed to approve the idea. Put me in the next plane and waved
me good bye. Than, after I took off to Turkey to hire an apartment, get a
new job etc., she crossed her mind (possibly her family objected). She'd
gone so far to sign a rikon todoke on my behalf (I know it's ihou but try
telling that to immigration bureau) and my spouse visa burnt. I was about
than things started to go outta control for me. There were sone underlying
motives peculiar to my case, but I just wanted to provide a worst case
scenario.
If everything went as I planned my children wouldn't be in Japan now. They
would be with me in Turkey. But shit happens. Arranging summer school in
Turkey for them is doable but not a very good solution. Instead, I'll finish
my preparations here in Turkey and go back to Japan to live with/near them.
One of the reasons I'm reading this newsgroup is I'd like to keep myself up
to date with Japan matters. In a few months I'll move there, but there are
legislative obstacles. I tried with visa applications of several status
before, all failed. And each failure cost me a few months, even years.
I'm sorry to hear about your issues with your wife. Things are certainly
different for you. But if she prefers living in NY instead of being with you
perhaps it is just not meant to be (forgive me saying this). I try to
justify my ex, thinking that she abandoned me for good of my children. She
must have thought living in Turkey wasn't best for them. I can relate to
that.
As to why I used the term elitist racist; in a previous tread Raj called
people criticizing Japan here elitist racists and proposed an alternative:
going back home. I was sort of presenting my case as a model. In real life
things are much complicated and simply going back home does not solve the
problems. Besides, as I said, you really can't go back home.
I fully encourage people stay where they are -in most cases, instead of
going back home and keep criticizing here at the cost of being labelled an
elitist racist. I believe it's the healtier way.
Haluk Skywalker
yazdi:fu81sv4i7bst2tnu2...@4ax.com...
> This is the saddest story I've read in a long time, Haluk. I hope
> everything works out for you and somehow you can be reunited with your
> family. In the meantime take care of yourself in Istanbul.
>
> Raj
>
Thanks Raj for the good wishes and the sympathy. But I posted this message
to hint that things may be a little too complicated in individual cases and
going back home may not be an option, or the best option. I hope you
understand it.
Eric Takabayashi
> So what happened after you said it was time to move back to Turkey? Did your
> wife just not want to go?
>
> I actually had the opposite problem, I was content to stay in Japan and my
> Japanese wife could not wait to go back to the USA, in particular, New York
> City. So I eventually decided to return to the US, and I get a good job, but
> it is in Boston, not New York. After I move back to the US my wife goes to
> New York and finds a job and we have a commuter marriage for about 5 years.
> But after a while it all is too much hassle and the trips become more
> infrequent. At this point I am not sure if I am married or not.
You're married. You're just married like a wife with a husband who is tanshin
funin at irregular or indeterminate periods.
> So I would have been just as well off if I had stayed in Japan. My wife
> could have moved back to the US and lived in New York and had the same life
> she is having now.
>
> But it is different for me since no children are involved. You give as part
> of your reason for wanting to leave Japan is that you thought the education
> system was too stifling. But leaving Japan didn't solve that, since your
> children are still in the Japanese school system.
>
> How about arranging for the children to come spend extended vacations in
> Turkey? I had a Japanese friend in the US who sent his kids back to Japan
> each summer where they were doted on by various grandparents, etc. They
> looked forward to the trips and acquired a real connection with Japan. On
> the other hand, I suppose it is not the same if they don't have a reason
> everyday to understand Turkish, etc.
I realized just this year that long and or regular vacations during school
"breaks" will in fact, interfere with my children's' studies or school
activities such as sports club, when they become old enough for school, and if
my wife and kids are concerned about keeping up with the others. Personally, I
am not. But if my wife or children are against leaving their school,
schoolmates or teammates for long periods (say three weeks at a time), then I
will be visiting family in the home country alone when they get older.
The thought saddens me. I will have to teach my children to keep up their
studies by themselves, or to be satisfied as they are without being concerned
about what people around them think, if I want to spend our "holidays" as a
family. I believe it will be difficult.
How do other families handle this issue, particularly those who send their
children to Japanese public school?
Eric Takabayashi
I am glad to hear you are open to living in Japan, and that they would have you
back.
> One of the reasons I'm reading this newsgroup is I'd like to keep myself up
> to date with Japan matters.
You should watch cable TV and read news instead.
Ryan Ginstrom
"Eric Takabayashi" <eta...@yahoo.co.jp> wrote in message
news:3FC20727...@yahoo.co.jp...
> The thought saddens me. I will have to teach my children to keep up their
> studies by themselves, or to be satisfied as they are without being
concerned
> about what people around them think, if I want to spend our "holidays" as
a
> family. I believe it will be difficult.
>
> How do other families handle this issue, particularly those who send their
> children to Japanese public school?
Well, Sage's school runs on the American schedule, so he gets the long
summer vacation and Christmas holiday. That's not an issue.
But when we went back for a month in July/August (including a week in the
Philippines), it was just too long. In the future, I don't plan on taking
trips longer than 2 weeks at a time, which should fit into even a Japanese
school schedule (although you will pay the megabucks for traveling AT THE
SAME TIME AS EVERYBODY ELSE AND THEIR GODDAM UNCLE).
We figure that if we want to spend longer than that in another place, we'll
move there for a year or two, although it's yet to be determined how we'll
do that with our current commitments. I don't relish moving ourselves, two
elderly parents, two dogs, two cats, and a hamster to some faraway place,
just to do it all again after a year or two.
Instead, I think I'll wait till our commitments are a bit lighters, the
mortage is paid off and the sprog has gotten the boot, before doing a little
globe trotting. I already told my wife, the 3 million yen we saved by
getting a 20-year loan is earmarked for the down payment on a sailboat. All
I have to do now is learn to sail over the next 20 years...
Until then, trips of 2 weeks or less is the call.
--
Regards,
Ryan Ginstrom
Eric Takabayashi
> "Eric Takabayashi" <eta...@yahoo.co.jp> wrote in message
> news:3FC20727...@yahoo.co.jp...
> > The thought saddens me. I will have to teach my children to keep up their
> > studies by themselves, or to be satisfied as they are without being
> concerned
> > about what people around them think, if I want to spend our "holidays" as
> a
> > family. I believe it will be difficult.
> >
> > How do other families handle this issue, particularly those who send their
> > children to Japanese public school?
>
> Well, Sage's school runs on the American schedule, so he gets the long
> summer vacation and Christmas holiday. That's not an issue.
Hiroshima City has an international school. It sounds incredibly wonderful. It
also costs IIRC, about 600,000 yen a year per kid. Or was it 60,000 a month?
Not feasible for me, even if it would be the best thing for the children. I'd
be working so much trying to pay for it, we wouldn't meet during waking hours
anyway.
> But when we went back for a month in July/August (including a week in the
> Philippines), it was just too long.
I get bored after about a week, despite being at my mother's house. I can't
even watch American TV anymore. I take paid vacation time because I can. I have
about five weeks of it remaining. My wife and children of course, are not
available for so much free time.
> In the future, I don't plan on taking
> trips longer than 2 weeks at a time, which should fit into even a Japanese
> school schedule (although you will pay the megabucks for traveling AT THE
> SAME TIME AS EVERYBODY ELSE AND THEIR GODDAM UNCLE).
>
> We figure that if we want to spend longer than that in another place, we'll
> move there for a year or two, although it's yet to be determined how we'll
> do that with our current commitments. I don't relish moving ourselves, two
> elderly parents, two dogs, two cats, and a hamster to some faraway place,
> just to do it all again after a year or two.
>
> Instead, I think I'll wait till our commitments are a bit lighters, the
> mortage is paid off and the sprog has gotten the boot, before doing a little
> globe trotting. I already told my wife, the 3 million yen we saved by
> getting a 20-year loan is earmarked for the down payment on a sailboat. All
> I have to do now is learn to sail over the next 20 years...
I like www.boats.com
The 754 foot Dutch cruise ship is no longer for sale. However, lovely tall
masted boats remain.
Also dealers of used Wharram or Farrier multihulls. But if you are talking
about a 3 million yen DOWN PAYMENT, I suppose you are talking luxury or high
quality, like something made of wood.
I can forget buying a boat in Japan, unless it is really small or crappy.
MatthewOutland
> to hint that things may be a little too complicated in individual cases and
> going back home may not be an option, or the best option. I hope you
> understand it.
Shut the fuck up
Haluk Skywalker
yazdi:52210046.03112...@posting.google.com...
Who are you kid? And why do you try to piss me off? What do you feel?
Ryan Ginstrom
> Ryan Ginstrom wrote:
> > Well, Sage's school runs on the American schedule, so he gets the long
> > summer vacation and Christmas holiday. That's not an issue.
>
> Hiroshima City has an international school. It sounds incredibly
wonderful. It
> also costs IIRC, about 600,000 yen a year per kid. Or was it 60,000 a
month?
Substantially cheaper here, and substantially more expensive in Nagoya.
Also, 60,000 yen/month is cheap for the states -- in California at least,
expect to pay $800+ for a decent private school. While we consumers have
been enjoying a deflationary spiral here in Japan, prices continue their
inexorable upward march in the US.
> Also dealers of used Wharram or Farrier multihulls. But if you are talking
> about a 3 million yen DOWN PAYMENT, I suppose you are talking luxury or
high
> quality, like something made of wood.
Well, it's got to be big enough to live on for a couple years, you see.
> I can forget buying a boat in Japan, unless it is really small or crappy.
If I still have this wild plan 20 years from now, I won't buy a boat in
Japan either. More like something along the lines of buying a boat in
Greece, then cruising around the Med for a couple years, selling the boat,
and moving back to land.
--
Regards,
Ryan Ginstrom
Ryan Ginstrom
> What do you feel?
Do you mean while he's posting, or when he has both hands free?
--
Regards,
Ryan Ginstrom
Declan Murphy
> We figure that if we want to spend longer than that in another place, we'll
> move there for a year or two, although it's yet to be determined how we'll
> do that with our current commitments. I don't relish moving ourselves, two
> elderly parents, two dogs, two cats, and a hamster to some faraway place,
> just to do it all again after a year or two.
Moving with the hamster would be a bitch. I'm planning on moving to a
house in the next 6 months or so (same city), and hamsterless though I
am the logistics are going to be a pain.
> Instead, I think I'll wait till our commitments are a bit lighters, the
> mortage is paid off and the sprog has gotten the boot, before doing a little
> globe trotting. I already told my wife, the 3 million yen we saved by
> getting a 20-year loan is earmarked for the down payment on a sailboat. All
> I have to do now is learn to sail over the next 20 years...
Its pretty easy and a lot of fun. Try a single hand skiff. For about
100-250,000 yen you can pick up a used boat and learn a shitload more
about sailing sail trim and weight distribution than you can in a large
one, cheaper than sailing schools too. One man catamarans are fun too.
--
"Beyond the Euphrates began for us the land of mirage and danger, the
sands where one helplessly sank, and the roads which ended in nothing.
The slightest reversal would have resulted in a jolt to our prestige
giving rise to all kinds of catastrophe; the problem was not only to
conquer but to conquer again and again, perpetually; our forces would be
drained off in the attempt." - Emperor Hadrian AD 117-138
Haluk Skywalker
"Ryan Ginstrom" <gins...@hotmail.com>, haber iletisinde ?unlar?
yazd?:bpu2ei$1rl3s2$1...@ID-101276.news.uni-berlin.de...
He must have both hands free very rarely and it must be extremely difficult
to type single handed. Thus the short sentences.
Ryan Ginstrom
news:3FC2D015...@hotmail.com...
> Moving with the hamster would be a bitch.
Tell me about it. We already killed off one of those buggers when we moved
down here.
> I'm planning on moving to a
> house in the next 6 months or so (same city), and hamsterless though I
> am the logistics are going to be a pain.
We hired a moving company, but even so there was a huge amount of work to
do. It didn't help that just as we were moving I had an enormous job pending
with looming deadline. Carrying boxes up stairs is no fun on 2 hours of
sleep (very few things are, except sleeping).
> Its pretty easy and a lot of fun. Try a single hand skiff. For about
> 100-250,000 yen you can pick up a used boat and learn a shitload more
> about sailing sail trim and weight distribution than you can in a large
> one, cheaper than sailing schools too. One man catamarans are fun too.
There's a resort hotel just down the hill from us
(http://www.alivila.co.jp/), and they rent catamarans. I'm thinking of
starting out by just going down there and renting one instructor-tsuki for a
couple hours, then trying a few solo runs.
--
Regards,
Ryan Ginstrom
Eric Takabayashi
> "Eric Takabayashi" <eta...@yahoo.co.jp> wrote in message
> news:3FC22DD1...@yahoo.co.jp...
> > Ryan Ginstrom wrote:
> > > Well, Sage's school runs on the American schedule, so he gets the long
> > > summer vacation and Christmas holiday. That's not an issue.
> >
> > Hiroshima City has an international school. It sounds incredibly
> wonderful. It
> > also costs IIRC, about 600,000 yen a year per kid. Or was it 60,000 a
> month?
>
> Substantially cheaper here, and substantially more expensive in Nagoya.
> Also, 60,000 yen/month is cheap for the states -- in California at least,
> expect to pay $800+ for a decent private school. While we consumers have
> been enjoying a deflationary spiral here in Japan, prices continue their
> inexorable upward march in the US.
I don't think of local international schools as private school. I think of it
as school where they can be raised in an English speaking environment, ie, what
can be had for free back home.
> > Also dealers of used Wharram or Farrier multihulls. But if you are talking
> > about a 3 million yen DOWN PAYMENT, I suppose you are talking luxury or
> high
> > quality, like something made of wood.
>
> Well, it's got to be big enough to live on for a couple years, you see.
Then you might look into a large Wharram. Very reasonable for something so big
and assembled by hand.
Scott Reynolds
> Haluk Skywalker wrote:
>>One of the reasons I'm reading this newsgroup is I'd like to keep myself up
>>to date with Japan matters.
>
> You should watch cable TV and read news instead.
You're kidding, right?
--
_______________________________________________________________
Scott Reynolds s...@gol.com
Scott Reynolds
> I realized just this year that long and or regular vacations during school
> "breaks" will in fact, interfere with my children's' studies or school
> activities such as sports club, when they become old enough for school, and if
> my wife and kids are concerned about keeping up with the others. Personally, I
> am not. But if my wife or children are against leaving their school,
> schoolmates or teammates for long periods (say three weeks at a time), then I
> will be visiting family in the home country alone when they get older.
>
> The thought saddens me. I will have to teach my children to keep up their
> studies by themselves, or to be satisfied as they are without being concerned
> about what people around them think, if I want to spend our "holidays" as a
> family. I believe it will be difficult.
>
> How do other families handle this issue, particularly those who send their
> children to Japanese public school?
You're right that it is silly to expect kids to study when they are on
vacation in Dad's home country. That means that you have to make sure
they do the necessary studying before you leave and/or after you get
back. It should be doable, though.
Note that not all school clubs load the kids up with activities during
the summer break. The sports clubs do, but many of the others don't.