[F] The Cloggie invasion of Cambridge - 24/3/01
Miq
Hey, what's going on here? There were more than 40 people at the
Cambridge afpmeet last weekend, and over a week later there's not been a
sniff of a hint of a mention of it on afp. Have reports gone out of
fashion now?
Prompted, prodded and goaded by Well-Meaning Friends, I went. After
some deliberation, I decided to go by train, which meant walking to the
station through the gentle but cold drizzle.
Sat on the platform waiting, watching the ever-changing digital display
of When The Next Train Is Going To Get Here - the expected time seemed
to be retreating at about one minute every two minutes. It took some
careful mental arithmetic to work out that the train that was supposed
to be there at 6:45 should turn up before the one timetabled for 6:55.
Then there was more diversion trying to work out whether the two clocks
I could see were more or less than two seconds out of sync.
Who says public transport can't be fun?
On arriving in Cambridge, I walked down the road from the station, past
the taxi rank and the bus stop, past the statue of the soldier with the
bowling ball, down the main road into town. One of the churches I
passed was hosting a crowd of campanologists, with deafening effect. I
passed shops and colleges and churches and shops and libraries and
restaurants and shops, through town, across the river and out the other
side. (Memo to self: *could* they find a pub that was further from the
station? Exercise is good for me.)
On entering the pub, I looked around for a bunch of afpers. There was a
small but suspicious crowd sitting in a corner, and I was just peering t
see if I recognised any of them when my glasses steamed up. In some
confusion, and to save myself from embarrassment, I retreated to the
gents to clear my vision. When I came out, there were afpers by the
bar.
This was just as well, 'cos it turned out that the main mob was
upstairs. Without that hint, I could have been thoroughly embarrassed
and wasted a long time peering at strangers downstairs...
As it was, instead I spent that long time getting served. The bar
wasn't even crowded, and there were three people behind it, but it was
still an agonising process trying to get a pint out of them. It had
never really struck me before how much there is to be said for employing
fully trained bar staff, rather than a few students. I could have mixed
a whole round of Slow Comfortable Double-Entendres in the time it took
me to get a simple pint. I had time to read the menu, watch the CCTV of
the afpers upstairs and admire the variety of beers on offer.
When I finally got the drink, however, things improved. Upstairs there
were a phenomenal number of afpers, some of whom I recognised. Even
more encouragingly, some of them recognised me and started to berate me.
This is always a good sign. It shows that they care.
Various people told me to sign up for the Convention. (There seemed to
be a general assumption that I *would* go to the convention. Nobody
*asked* me this; they *told* me.) Even the normally-easygoing "& Co."
gave me a hard time about this, and about being a Gentleman of Leisure.
I don't really know who was there - though someone, somewhere has a list
- so I'll just mention those I remember speaking to. They included
Brett and Kincaid, who kindly told me where to find the others; & and
Co., though Ponder was tied up by his girlfriend; Megamole, Melusine
(who showed off her geek toys, in a doomed attempt to make me jealous),
Vic (who most definitely *wasn't* passing through Embankment Gardens ten
days earlier), Tamara, Martin, Susan, Patrick and Kimberley. I
introduced my new tiger (tiger!) and offered imported chocolate-covered
coffee beans, which were received with varying degrees of suspicion.
Martin gave me an *enormous* pile of books, which is undoubtedly one of
the most wonderful gifts I've ever received at a meet. I gave him a
CCCB.
I left fairly early, mostly because I'd run out of money. It's an
occupational hazard of being poor. The return trip was notable mainly
for its coldness; to pass the time, I read an essay on euthanasia.
--
Miq
jester
<m...@lspace.org> wrote:
>
> Hey, what's going on here? There were more than 40 people at the
> Cambridge afpmeet last weekend, and over a week later there's not been a
> sniff of a hint of a mention of it on afp. Have reports gone out of
> fashion now?
By all accounts, whoever should have done the report has probably been
spending too much time talking to their friends Hughey and Ralph on the
white telephone.
> though Ponder was tied up by his girlfriend;
No comment (though several came to mind)
Andy Brown
--
http://www.jester.nu
AFP Code V1.1a AC$/Mu-UK dx@ s-:@ a UP+ R>+ F h> P-- OSUD-: ?C M-
pp>++ L C- B+ Cn-:+:+ PT++ PU68@ 5 X++ MT+ eV++ r+++ y*+ end
Adrian Ogden
>Martin gave me an *enormous* pile of books, which is undoubtedly one of
>the most wonderful gifts I've ever received at a meet.
Does one of them have the word "Mammoth" on the cover?
<< Adrian Ogden -- "Sic Biscuitus Disintegrat" -- A.N....@reading.ac.uk >>
"Get thee behind me, thou evil side-order of Lucifer!"
Mike Knell
A.N....@reading.ac.uk wrote:
>Miq <m...@lspace.org> writes:
>>Martin gave me an *enormous* pile of books, which is undoubtedly one of
>>the most wonderful gifts I've ever received at a meet.
>
>Does one of them have the word "Mammoth" on the cover?
Talking of cloggie expansionism,
http://www.tuatha.org/~mpk/monster.png
...is highly suspicious, IMO.
Mike "tying brooms to packet headers" K.
MegaMole
writes
>
>Hey, what's going on here? There were more than 40 people at the
>Cambridge afpmeet last weekend, and over a week later there's not been a
>sniff of a hint of a mention of it on afp. Have reports gone out of
>fashion now?
I don't know - but my posts to afp seem not to happen. Odd. Other
newsgroups - fine, but afp - not.
Oh well, perhaps the server's just killfiled me.
I'll just get my score of -999,
--
MM
Miq
>In article <rhyJImBb...@kew1.demon.co.uk>, Miq <m...@lspace.org>
>writes
>>
>>Hey, what's going on here? There were more than 40 people at the
>>Cambridge afpmeet last weekend, and over a week later there's not been a
>>sniff of a hint of a mention of it on afp. Have reports gone out of
>>fashion now?
>
>I don't know - but my posts to afp seem not to happen. Odd. Other
>newsgroups - fine, but afp - not.
You think you've got problems... I haven't even received the post you
just replied to yet, and I *posted* it. I know I haven't accidentally
killfiled myself.
It's a surreal sensation, seeing replies to a post that, as far as I can
recall, should still be cooking on my desktop.
--
Miq
Deadlines looming? Teachers to impress? No time to read? Never fear!
The Discworld Homework Files: http://www.kew1.demon.co.uk/homework.html
MegaMole
Dersjant <pat...@lspace.org> writes
>
>The One and Only "Mammoth" has been with Jeremy Stark for some time now.
>Its replacement, "Longargh", aka Mammooth Tooth^H^H, has gone to Flexor
>for duties above and beyond wossname. I suspect most of his 'All your
>wibble are belong to us' puns had something to do with it.
>
>Patrick
I was awarded this seminal oeuvre (i.e. pertaining to semen) by Martin
"Cousin It" Wisse at the Valentine's meet for service to bad punes in
general. I believe I have more than fulfilled my duties by reading it
cover to cover, though the pain was excruciating. In a word, masto-
DON'T.
It has even moved me to verse, in a peristaltic sort of way.
LONGTUSK
TT(partial)TO "Ernie, The Fastest Milkman in the West"
You could hear the rumbling sounds as they echoed through the ground,
And mosquitos bit his fur as they whined their way around.
And he plodded 'cross the icy steppes with fuzz upon his chest,
His name was Longtusk (Longtusk!),
And he was the hairiest mammoth in the West.
Sad Longtusk started off in life a mammoth with a hump,
Then some Cro-Magnons captured him and stuck sticks in his rump.
Captivity is numbing to a mammoth hero's soul,
And off he trod to save his tribe by geothermal hole.
They called him Longtusk (Longtusk!),
And he was the hairiest mammoth in the west.
Now elephants forget sod-all; they don't like nasty men,
So Longtusk was a stroppy bull when he met the Ugs again.
To find the moral of my tale is easy, if you look:
I've told you all the story - and you SHOULDN'T read the book.
They called it Longtusk (Longtusk!),
And it was the worst book written in the west.
--
* MegaMole, The Official Enrico Basilica : Chocolate rix in thy tum *
* http://www.countertenor.demon.co.uk/index.html Filks, Liff, Stuff *
mo...@lspace.org mo...@music.slut.org.uk fi...@countertenor.demon.co.uk
"Listen! Lyf is gude, And thou art welbiloved and frended..." DQ 627
Jennifer en Reinier Sjouw
>
> Talking of cloggie expansionism,
> http://www.tuatha.org/~mpk/monster.png
> ...is highly suspicious, IMO.
It might not be _that_ bad. There is a Dutch bar near Chinatown in
London. Maybe that is what they mean by "London - The Netherlands".
Which means we could even talk of Lancashire, Holland (given the
Dutch Cafe in Southport). Ha! Come to think of it, how's about
London, Bangladesh?
Don't worry,
Reinier (as I keep telling myself).
Arwen Lune
Reinier Sjouw rei...@afake.address said in alt.fan.pratchett:
> There is a Dutch bar near Chinatown in
> London. Maybe that is what they mean by "London - The Netherlands".
> Which means we could even talk of Lancashire, Holland (given the
> Dutch Cafe in Southport). Ha! Come to think of it, how's about
> London, Bangladesh?
There is?
Do you know street/address?
Arwen, perking up. (they might even have liquorice there..
<hopeful>)
--
Arwen laid down her broadsword. "I must ask for the knives
as well, babe." said Hammy. Arwen growled and laid them
down. "And the crossbow, and the morningstar, and the axe..."
[Sir Confused-a-lot on AFT]
MegaMole
<Ar...@meanandevil.co.uk> writes
>Do you know street/address?
>
>Arwen, perking up. (they might even have liquorice there..
><hopeful>)
I believe I walked past it down Shaftesbury Avenue. And that one of the
Chinese Gates was *very* close by.
In fact, I'm *sure* of it.
So go to Chinatown and from there go to Shaftesbury Avenue. You should
see it, if this mole's porno^H^H^H^H^Hphotographic memory is anything to
go by.
I'll just get my bottle of Grolsch,
Jennifer en Reinier Sjouw
news:MPG.15364df9b...@News.CIS.DFN.DE...
> And lo! On the day of Thu, 5 Apr 2001 00:38:11 +0200, Jennifer en
> Reinier Sjouw rei...@afake.address said in alt.fan.pratchett:
>
> > There is a Dutch bar near Chinatown in
> > London. Maybe that is what they mean
> > by "London - The Netherlands".
> > Which means we could even talk of Lancashire,
> > Holland (given the Dutch Cafe in Southport). Ha!
> > Come to think of it, how's about London, Bangladesh?
>
> There is?
> Do you know street/address?
>
> Arwen, perking up. (they might even have liquorice there..
> <hopeful>)
Of the top of my head I don't remember the address. But I'm afraid
they don't have liquorice. Heck, you'd be hard pushed to get
liquorice in a Dutch bar in Holland! (or Brabant, or Zeeland, or
etc.) The thing this particular bar finds to be the very essence of
Dutchness is to have Oranjeboom on draft. Which didn't improve a
couple of years ago when Allied Brewers bought it :-( And they do
tostis. But if you feel deprived of liquorice, why not check
http://www.nrc.nl/W2/Lab/Magazine/artikelmaart2001.html
Reinier.
Margaret
>... But if you feel deprived of liquorice, why not check
>http://www.nrc.nl/W2/Lab/Magazine/artikelmaart2001.html
>
The story of the Nigerian customs officer, poor soul,
was a giggle.
I never tried drop. I'll have to see if I can't find
some in Boston. I don't reckon I'll try the drop soup,
though, even if it has got Drambuie in. bleurgh.
Jennifer en Reinier Sjouw
news:1pdsct4gifippgta3...@4ax.com...
I must admit I don't feel particularly tempted to try that one. How
come you read Dutch if you haven't had drop? Or how come you
haven't had drop when you can read Dutch? The very least one should
do when picking up a bit of Dutch culture is to eat a little bit of
drop. I won't ask any foreigner to go for the raw herring with raw
chopped onions, but an introduction to drop should be a mandatory
part of learning Dutch.
Reinier.
Margaret
> How
>come you read Dutch if you haven't had drop? Or how come you
>haven't had drop when you can read Dutch? The very least one should
>do when picking up a bit of Dutch culture is to eat a little bit of
>drop. I won't ask any foreigner to go for the raw herring with raw
>chopped onions, but an introduction to drop should be a mandatory
>part of learning Dutch.
Herring and chopped onion? Smörgåsbord! :-)
Räucheraal is better, tho -- räucheraal, smörrebrödje,
and a glass of kriek --dat smekkt!
I've never had drop because it was never offered me
when I lived op de waterkant and it didn't occur to me
to look it out, as i'm not especially fond of sweets.
What's rather interesting is that Royal Ahold own the
Stop&Shop markets here in Boston, yet I've never seen
drop sold there.