[F] Meeting Mary Meet, A Report
Jenny Radcliffe
on the other hand, neither was anyone else, and the whole meet was
my fault, so I'm writing it.
Attendance List:
Truly There:
Jenny Radcliffe
Andrew Gray
Mark "Hippo" Datko
Martyn "That Martyn Clapham" Clapham
Edwin Brady
Mary Messall
Julie "Ingenious Paradox", Surname Unknown
Robert, Husband of the Above
Christopher, Small and Engaging Child of the two Above
Chris Morris
Telephonically:
Mary Perkins
Jennifer Gray, who is *not*, as I had assumed, the sister of Andrew
Brief Appearances by:
Richard Cordiner
Emily "President of the Students' Union" Fieran-Reed, in confusion
Large portions of the Durham University Assassins Society, and their
water-pistols
The good staff of the Riverside Cafe of the DUrham Students' Union,
and their skill at producing the Food Groups of Caffiene and Lard
Some Reporters from the Sunday Sun
Toys:
Two hippos, one with a large zip-up mouth, and one which barked
A teddy of the most archetypal type
A squeaking, walking Killer Bunny Of Death as from Monty Python's
Holy grail, being called Tim
A yawning Bagpuss
A genuine S.U.S.e. Tux
Lots and Lots of Sticklebricks and things kindly leant by
Christopher, Son of the Ingenious Paradox
1. Chapter 1: Meeting Andrew
1.1. In the beginning, there was a Concrete Monstrosity, and it was
called Dunelm House, and it was also called Dunelm, and it was
filled with the Purpose of being the Students' Union of the
University of Durham.
1.2. And there was me, and I walked into it.
1.3. And at the top of the stairs there was a student, and I knew it
was a student, for I am wise in the ways of students and I recognise
one when I see one.
1.4. And he did say "Jenny?"
1.5. And I was alarmed, for I did not recognise him, except in the
sense that he was a student, but I was brave, and I did say "Yes?"
1.6. And he said that he was Andrew
1.7. And I saw that the Meet had begun
1.8. And I saw that it was good.
2. Chapter 2: Meeting Hippo and Martyn
2.1. We went down the stairs unto the café, and we did see some
people who were not students.
2.2. And we did know they were not students, for I am wise in the
ways of students, and I recognise non-students when I see them.
2.3. And I did recognise one of them, for he was Hippo.
2.4. And we did introduce our companions unto each other, and his
companion was Martyn.
2.5. And there were many soft toys, and I saw that it was good.
3. Chapter 3: Riverside Café, and a Telephonic Guest
3.1. We went into the café, and we did find a table, and we did
dispose our soft toys, and we did gossip.
3.2. And Mary Perkins did ring Martyn from Manchester to tell him
that a miracle had occurred and electrons had been diffracted, and
so she was added to the List of People who Had Been At The Meet.
3.3. And my ex-boyfriend did appear, and he did not bat an eyelid
that I was sitting with some people and some soft toys, and I was
impressed, for he is very conventional, notwithstanding black
clothes, long hair and an earring.
3.4. And although he did not stay long, I add him to the List of
People who Had Been At The Meet, for he did lend me many of the
books of the Man In The Hat, and so he should be considered with
respect.
3.5. And we did chatter.
3.6. And I saw that it was good.
4. Chapter 4: Meeting Mary and Edwin and Breakfast
4.1. And Mary and Edwin did arrive, and they did have more soft
toys.
4.2. And Hippo did give Mary books about Yorkshire, and we did have
a repeat of the Wars of the Roses, for Martyn is from Lancashire.
4.3. And Edwin and I said let there be lard.
4.4. And there was a lardy breakfast.
4.5. And the others saw that it was good, and did get food for
themselves also.
4.6. And it was good.
5. Chapter 5: Kingsgate Bar, A Not-Even-Lurker-Yet, and a Telephonic
Guest
5.1. We did migrate upstairs to the Bar, for in the café it was
noisy, and we were waiting for the telephone call of the Ingenious
Paradox, who is also called Julie.
5.2. And we were joined by Chris Morris, who is not even yet a
Lurker, but who is a fan of the books of the Man In The Hat, and who
is wise in many afp-ish ways and would not be an unworthy afper.
5.3. And Jennifer Gray did ring Andrew, who is not as I had thought
her brother
5.4. And it was her birthday, so we did say happy birthday
5.5. And we do have high hopes that she will be able to visit the
next Durham meet, and I assure her that I am thinking of good ways
to convince her parents that we aren't mad, really.
5.6. And thus she was added to the List of People who Had Been At
The Meet.
6. Chapter 6: Meeting Julie and Robert and Christopher
6.1. And Julie did ring.
6.2. And I did give her directions to our location, and I did do
this by waving my arms in the air, and people did laugh at me, for
Julie could not see me on the phone.
6.3. And I did go out to meet Julie, and I was accosted by Reporters
from the Sunday Sun.
6.4. And they did interview me on the subject of testing drinks
against spiking, and I did want to laugh at them, for I am a Boring
Old Fart in the making and I do not frequent places where spiking
does take place.
6.5. And while this was happening, the President of the Students
Union did look at the Meet and the soft toys, and was perplexed.
6.6. And Martyn did fear we might be ejected, but Edwin did say we
should have no fear, for he is a Shareholder in the Company, which
runs the bar.
6.7. And we were joined by Julie, and with her, her Husband, Robert,
and her small Child, Christopher.
6.8. And we did chatter further, but Christopher did object, and so
we did leave the building.
6.9. And this was, very likely, good.
7. Chapter 7: The Great Outdoors
7.1. We did wander by the river and we did tell urban legends.
7.2. We did describe the mini suspended from the bridge, although
this is no urban legend and did indeed happen, and we did talk on
all manner of subjects.
7.3. We did sit in the cloisters of the Cathedral and we did listen
to music, for there was a rehearsal of the Durham Sinfonia within,
and it did sound good.
7.4. We did stand on Palace Green and talk yet further, and get in
the way of drivers.
7.5. And Julie and Robert were most kind and did invite us to go to
their house and eat pizza, and so we did.
7.6. And it was good.
8. Chapter 8: Pizza and Gossip and Toys at Julie and Robert and
Christopher's
8.1. And we did trek, by means of the car belonging to Martyn and a
bus belonging to Arriva, for there were many of us, to the house of
Julie and Robert.
8.2. And we did build models out of sticklebricks, and we did read
Thomas the Tank Engine books.
8.3. And Edwin did build a model in Sticklebricks of a New and
Improved Version of the Concrete Monstrosity in which the Meet had
Met, although anything is an improvement so this is not special
8.4. And Mary did build a bi-plane
8.5. And we did all peer nosily at the bookshelves, and saw that
they were good.
8.6. And we did observe on the Shelf many CDs, of Bach and Elgar and
Chopin, and in amongst them, we did see the Pink Floyd "Momentary
Lapse of Reason", which seemed most apposite.
8.7. And we did talk, and eat pizza, and chocolate.
8.8. And Edwin and I did persuade Andrew to join the Computing
Society, and I do believe that he will be the most unusual
recruitment of the year, for he has joined the society sitting on
the living room floor of someone he had never met before, recruited
by more people who had met previously neither him nor the owners of
the floor.
8.9. And it was good.
9. Chapter 9: Home time
9.1. And eventually we did all go home. At least, Edwin and Chris
and I did walk home to Durham.
9.2. And this was our meet, and it did contain chocolate, soft toys
and children's books, although it did contain no alcohol.
9.3. And it was, I think, good.
Quotes, as recorded by the Not-Even-Lurker-Yet, Chris
"Scattering his love on a pristine lampshade" - someone overheard in
the Bar
"Do we have any toy horses?" - Martyn Clapham
"You mean apart from that one?" - Edwin Brady
"Yes" - Martyn
"I know all about the layers of clothes Chris wears" - Edwin
"Infant builders. Does that mean we can build an infant?" - Edwin
"There's nothing wrong with badgers. Badgers are lovely." - Andrew
Gray
"You look like you have some bizarre skin disease" - Andrew to Mary
Photographs will be forthcoming when they have been:
a) Developed
b) Scanned
c) Webified
--
Jenny,
Afpfont to Mary Messall
Mary Messall
> Disclaimer: At no point was I delegated to write this report, but,
> on the other hand, neither was anyone else, and the whole meet was
> my fault, so I'm writing it.
I considered volunteering, but my subconscious must've chickened out...
> Attendance List:
<snip snip>
> Julie "Ingenious Paradox", Surname Unknown
Winkless, of course.
<snip snip snip>
> 4. Chapter 4: Meeting Mary and Edwin and Breakfast
> 4.1. And Mary and Edwin did arrive, and they did have more soft
> toys.
Well, Edwin did. I didn't bring any- only room to pack essentials. And
yes, my mug from The Grape and my Differential Equations text book do
qualify as essential, and my photo album quintuply so; what if I forget
meal time? Or how to integrate sin x^2? Or who I am?
When I come back from Christmas, I'll bring something fluffy.
> 4.2. And Hippo did give Mary books about Yorkshire, and we did have
And Mary was unreasonably pleased, because of all the literature
induced fantasies she had about here, The Secret Garden in one of the
earliest and dearest, and includes all sorts of wonderful Yorkshire
phrases and words.
<snip snip snip snip>
> 5.3. And Jennifer Gray did ring Andrew, who is not as I had thought
> her brother
> 5.4. And it was her birthday, so we did say happy birthday
> 5.5. And we do have high hopes that she will be able to visit the
> next Durham meet, and I assure her that I am thinking of good ways
> to convince her parents that we aren't mad, really.
In other words, to lie plausibly.
<snip snip snip snip snip>
> 7.5. And Julie and Robert were most kind and did invite us to go to
> their house and eat pizza, and so we did.
> 7.6. And it was good.
It was wonderful, and they are the best hosts in the world.
<snip snip snip snip snip snip>
> 9. Chapter 9: Home time
> 9.1. And eventually we did all go home. At least, Edwin and Chris
> and I did walk home to Durham.
Andrew and Martyn and Mark and I stayed, wibbling incoherently, until
Julie and Robert reminded us that some people occasionally like to
sleep (I've nearly forgotten) and then Martyn drove us back.
<snip snip snip snip snip snip snip>
> Photographs will be forthcoming when they have been:
> a) Developed
> b) Scanned
> c) Webified
My digital pics don't need steps a and b, so I may have them up as
early as tomorrow.
-Mary
--
{I drank at every vine. / The last was like the first. / I came upon
no wine / So wonderful as thirst.} {"Heaven bless the babe!" they said
"What queer books she must have read!"} -two by Edna St Vincent Millay
http://indagabo.orcon.net.nz --> my soapbox and grandstand and gallery
hippo
Mary Messall <m.k.m...@durham.ac.uk> wrote in message news:3BC9D230...@durham.ac.uk...
> Jenny Radcliffe wrote:
> > Disclaimer: At no point was I delegated to write this report, but,
> > on the other hand, neither was anyone else, and the whole meet was
> > my fault, so I'm writing it.
>
> I considered volunteering, but my subconscious must've chickened out...
>
> > Attendance List:
> <snip snip>
> > Julie "Ingenious Paradox", Surname Unknown
>
> Winkless, of course.
<snip>
>
> <snip snip snip snip snip snip>
warmly seconded here, thanks Julie and your family for your
hospitality
It was a thoroughly enjoyable meet
hippo
---
Andrew.Gray
>
> Disclaimer: At no point was I delegated to write this report, but,
> on the other hand, neither was anyone else, and the whole meet was
> my fault, so I'm writing it.
That's the spirit!
> Telephonically:
> Mary Perkins
> Jennifer Gray, who is *not*, as I had assumed, the sister of Andrew
I don't know *where* people get that impression...
> The good staff of the Riverside Cafe of the Durham Students' Union,
> and their skill at producing the Food Groups of Caffiene and Lard
One of whom I know, and kept looking very oddly at me on account of
sitting in Riverside surrounded by many soft toys and strange
non-students...
> 1.3. And at the top of the stairs there was a student, and I knew it
> was a student, for I am wise in the ways of students and I recognise
> one when I see one.
It's the hair, isn't it? The hair and the jeans...
> 5.2. And we were joined by Chris Morris, who is not even yet a
> Lurker, but who is a fan of the books of the Man In The Hat, and who
> is wise in many afp-ish ways and would not be an unworthy afper.
For certain values of 'joined by'... are there any more strange people
I'm going to be led to and introduced as "It's *this* Andrew Gray", one
wonders? Very scary...
> 5.5. And we do have high hopes that she will be able to visit the
> next Durham meet, and I assure her that I am thinking of good ways
> to convince her parents that we aren't mad, really.
Well, they let her wander off to Scotland to meet me and a chap known
merely as 'Slasher', so a precedent *has* been set... ;-)
> 7.5. And Julie and Robert were most kind and did invite us to go to
> their house and eat pizza, and so we did.
> 7.6. And it was good.
And it was indeed. Many thanks to our most accomodating hosts...
> 8.8. And Edwin and I did persuade Andrew to join the Computing
> Society, and I do believe that he will be the most unusual
> recruitment of the year, for he has joined the society sitting on
> the living room floor of someone he had never met before, recruited
> by more people who had met previously neither him nor the owners of
> the floor.
I only joined for the disk quota...
(Sudden thought: I now have a membership card in my wallet; does this
cause me to be, quite literally, a card-carrying geek?)
--
-Andrew Gray
shim...@bigfoot.com
Carol Hague
>
> When I come back from Christmas, I'll bring something fluffy.
Hopefully not a mug left under your bed before Christmas though :-)
--
Carol Hague
"Don't speak Latin in front of the books." - Giles, BtVS
Martyn Clapham
comments about things in Jenny's report.
I got to Durham about 8pm on Friday having been delayed by a 'bright
idea' on the way. I hadn't seen Jenny's comment about the pub so went
direct to my hotel.
Saturday
Drove into the city at about 9.30 with the idea of picking Hippo up from
the station. Had to park some distance away as I couldn't find any
short-term parking on the station.
10am Met Hippo and drove him to his hotel, finding a charity car-park
nearby.
Spent about 2 hours doing touristy things before going to the SU
building at which point my navigation skills fell down and we went in
using the top entrance only to find we should have used a lower one.
we then settled down to wait for Jenny and Mary.
( At some point during our travels I found that the small hippo is
stored inside the larger one. How odd! ).
In article <9qc993$lk6gr$1...@ID-110686.news.dfncis.de>, Jenny Radcliffe
<jenny.r...@physics.org> writes
>3.2. And Mary Perkins did ring Martyn from Manchester to tell him
>that a miracle had occurred and electrons had been diffracted, and
>so she was added to the List of People who Had Been At The Meet.
Um, Mary Perkins actually sent an SMS about electrons being deflected by
light ( IIRC ) and I called her.
>4.2. And Hippo did give Mary books about Yorkshire, and we did have
>a repeat of the Wars of the Roses, for Martyn is from Lancashire.
And one of the books was read and it was pointed out that it was very
likely that a joke poking fun at Lancashire is probably in the book they
sell in Lancashire but changed to poke fun at Yorkshire.
>7.3. We did sit in the cloisters of the Cathedral and we did listen
>to music, for there was a rehearsal of the Durham Sinfonia within,
>and it did sound good.
>7.4. We did stand on Palace Green and talk yet further, and get in
>the way of drivers.
In going from 7.3 to 7.4 we did pass alongside the cathedral and photos
were taken of one end. At this point I was most terribly chastised for
commenting that the weather-vane did look most like a pair of long-
johns! So one attendee didst berate me with the comment "You $&%$$*!!
Now I'll ALWAYS think of it that way!" :-))
>8.2. And we did build models out of sticklebricks, and we did read
>Thomas the Tank Engine books.
And played with the toy engine that only ran if the driver was on-board.
>8.3. And Edwin did build a model in Sticklebricks of a New and
>Improved Version of the Concrete Monstrosity in which the Meet had
>Met, although anything is an improvement so this is not special
>8.4. And Mary did build a bi-plane
And this was photographed muchly, and was much better than a previous
attempt by another person which only got as far as the wings.
>9.1. And eventually we did all go home. At least, Edwin and Chris
>and I did walk home to Durham.
In her follow-up to Jenny, Mary Messall <m.k.m...@durham.ac.uk>
wrote:
>Andrew and Martyn and Mark and I stayed, wibbling incoherently, until
>Julie and Robert reminded us that some people occasionally like to
>sleep (I've nearly forgotten) and then Martyn drove us back.
Julie and Robert were indeed _very_ kind.
>9.3. And it was, I think, good.
Most certainly it was good.
>Quotes, as recorded by the Not-Even-Lurker-Yet, Chris
>"Do we have any toy horses?" - Martyn Clapham
>"You mean apart from that one?" - Edwin Brady
>"Yes" - Martyn
Um. I don't remember saying that or seeing it written down, where did
this happen?
Sunday was spent by myself and Hippo at Beamish ( including the purchase
of an unbadged Tux ) and waiting on Elvet bridge for someone who turned
out to be delayed. We didn't have an easy way of contacting the other
meet attendees so could not have Durham meet Part 2. :-((
BTW, nobody told us about the Duck Race so we only found out about it
when we got to the bridge and saw the posters and the ducks in the
water. Oh, if any Durham afper had duck 1331 I'm sorry to say we saw
that one wedged behind a sapling on the middle pier of the bridge!
Mart.
--
Almost everything you want to know about afp is at http://www.lspace.org/
My own site is at http://www.mclapham.demon.co.uk/index.htm
Afpengaged to Mary Messall, being afpadulterous with Spooky and
afpchauffeur to Hippo. Having fun on afp from 1996
Jenny Radcliffe
> Jenny Radcliffe wrote:
> > Disclaimer: At no point was I delegated to write this report,
> > but, on the other hand, neither was anyone else, and the
> > whole meet was my fault, so I'm writing it.
> That's the spirit!
No, *gin* is the spirit, but I haven;t had any in ages owing to
liking it with mixers with calories ... oh, you didn't mean that.
Oh, well.
> > The good staff of the Riverside Cafe of the Durham
> > Students' Union, and their skill at producing the Food
> > Groups of Caffiene and Lard
> One of whom I know, and kept looking very oddly at me on
> account of sitting in Riverside surrounded by many soft toys
> and strange non-students...
Feh. They must have been new. Otherwise they'd have known me and
been so used to me being strange they wouldn't have thought it was
odd ...
> > 1.3. And at the top of the stairs there was a student, and I
> > knew it was a student, for I am wise in the ways of students
> > and I recognise one when I see one.
> It's the hair, isn't it? The hair and the jeans...
And the t-shirt, and the demeanor, and ... well, the fact that you
were around student age and hanging around the students' union, yes
...
> > 5.2. And we were joined by Chris Morris, who is not even
> > yet a Lurker, but who is a fan of the books of the Man In
> > The Hat, and who is wise in many afp-ish ways and would
> > not be an unworthy afper.
> For certain values of 'joined by'... are there any more strange
> people I'm going to be led to and introduced as "It's *this*
> Andrew Gray", one wonders? Very scary...
Quite possibly. Well, if you *will* have the same name as one of the
Library staff who is known to another Durger, and if you *will* post
to Durge but not come to Purges[1], yuou have to expect odd
introductions. I belive there are only two others, though - and
they're both on the CompSoc exec.
> > 5.5. And we do have high hopes that she will be able to
> > visit the next Durham meet, and I assure her that I am
> > thinking of good ways to convince her parents that we
> > aren't mad, really.
> Well, they let her wander off to Scotland to meet me and a
> chap known merely as 'Slasher', so a precedent *has* been
> set... ;-)
Indeed. Well, I'm quite happy to invite Jennifer, and I *do* work
for the University ...
> > 7.5. And Julie and Robert were most kind and did invite us
> > to go to their house and eat pizza, and so we did.
> > 7.6. And it was good.
> And it was indeed. Many thanks to our most accomodating
> hosts...
Indeed.
Tangentially to this, Julie, two things:
1. WYBM afp-sister, pretty-please with a cherry on top, and can I
be Christopher's afp-aunt?
2. I know this sounds barking mad but what *does* your hubby *do*
at the CEM centre because out of curiosity I went to have a look
while I was waiting for some long-winded inquiry and I couldn't find
a Winkless so I guess you have your own surname and now I've
narrowed him down to one of two people and it's going to drive me
nuts ...
> > 8.8. And Edwin and I did persuade Andrew to join the
> > Computing Society, and I do believe that he will be the
> > most unusual recruitment of the year, for he has joined the
> > society sitting on the living room floor of someone he had
> > never met before, recruited by more people who had met
> > previously neither him nor the owners of the floor.
> I only joined for the disk quota...
I know .. you are in excellent company ... but you see if we don't
get you more involved ... news:dur.dsu.computing-society and that's
to you other dur.ac.uk afpers, too.
Another comment: I believe there are at least two dur.ac.uk afpers
who didn't so much as afpologise for not coming to the Meet: Alex
Newsham and Kean Ryan, if I have those names correctly, I *will* be
tracking you down and you *will* be meeting us at some point.
> (Sudden thought: I now have a membership card in my wallet;
> does this cause me to be, quite literally, a card-carrying
> geek?)
Yes. HTH, HAND. If it makes you feel any better, I am a
card-carrying geek *and* a trainee accountant. Life can't get any
more nerdy.
[1] Durge: dur.general, an internal-to-dur.ac.uk-newsgroup, or
alt.dur.general, its external equivalent for the People Who Just
Can't Leave, and Purges, the Meets pertaining to these ngs.
Jenny
Afpfont to Mary Messall
Wannabe-afpsister to the Ingenious Paradox and afpaunt to the Son of
the Ingenious Paradox
Stevie
"Jenny Radcliffe" <jenny.r...@physics.org> wrote in message
news:9qfjie$nc7ch$1...@ID-110686.news.dfncis.de...
> Andrew.Gray <Andre...@durham.ac.uk> wrote
> > Jenny Radcliffe wrote:
> > > Disclaimer: At no point was I delegated to write this report,
> > > but, on the other hand, neither was anyone else, and the
> > > whole meet was my fault, so I'm writing it.
> > That's the spirit!
>
> No, *gin* is the spirit, but I haven;t had any in ages owing to
> liking it with mixers with calories ... oh, you didn't mean that.
> Oh, well.
residual calories on the vitamin C content and general healthiness - it
counts as your servings of fruit then...
Stevie, who hasn't lost weight in a year so is obviously qualified to know
as she hasn't put any on either.
(That should be in the good news/bad news thread as both.)
Andrew.Gray
> > That's the spirit!
>
> No, *gin* is the spirit, but I haven;t had any in ages owing to
> liking it with mixers with calories ... oh, you didn't mean that.
> Oh, well.
Gin is horrendous & undrinkable. IMO, of course ;-) "You have to find
what you like and let it kill you", as someone who slips my mind says.
Damn, left my quotefile at home...
> > For certain values of 'joined by'... are there any more strange
> > people I'm going to be led to and introduced as "It's *this*
> > Andrew Gray", one wonders? Very scary...
>
> Quite possibly. Well, if you *will* have the same name as one of the
> Library staff who is known to another Durger, and if you *will* post
> to Durge but not come to Purges[1],
I didn't post *much*...
> yuou have to expect odd introductions. I belive there are only two
> others, though - and they're both on the CompSoc exec.
Rest assured, I will have more presence of mind and run away...
> > Well, they let her wander off to Scotland to meet me and a
> > chap known merely as 'Slasher', so a precedent *has* been
> > set... ;-)
>
> Indeed. Well, I'm quite happy to invite Jennifer, and I *do* work
> for the University ...
I think that was the pretext we used for the last visit, certainly...
mind you, she's applied properly now, so An Excuse Exists.
> > I only joined for the disk quota...
>
> I know .. you are in excellent company ... but you see if we don't
> get you more involved ... news:dur.dsu.computing-society and that's
> to you other dur.ac.uk afpers, too.
>
> Another comment: I believe there are at least two dur.ac.uk afpers
> who didn't so much as afpologise for not coming to the Meet: Alex
> Newsham and Kean Ryan, if I have those names correctly, I *will* be
> tracking you down and you *will* be meeting us at some point.
[fiddles with the Directory]
Well, they're both in there under a unique initial, so it shouldn't be
hard... one Maths, one Maths/Compsci...
--
-Andrew Gray
shim...@bigfoot.com