A[F]Peak Report - The Official Meet Report of AFPeak
Maurice Barnes
As comilped by Barry and messed about with by Maurice. (that's the
report not Barry). Quote file is the follow-up.
AFPeak District 3-5th July 1998
Edale, Derbyshire.
Attendees: (in order of arrival)
Gid & Suzi, Selina Lock, Mike Knell, Janice Wright, Barry R, Lottie,
Maurice, Will, & Cath.
Friday:Arrival, Pub.
First to arrive were Gid and Suzi, who had with them a frame tent
upon which they emblazoned AFP in gaffer tape.
Next was Selina, followed by Mike, then Janice, Barry, Maurice and
Lottie in quick succession. Each of these quickly erected their
tents and greetings were made. After each tent was firmly set, the
group adjourned to the Ramblers Inn. Whilst there, food was ordered
by those requiring it, (Mike has a picture of the Cumberland sausage,
the only food to look just as good pre and post digestion) and drinks
were consumed.
During the time
the group were in the pub, Will and Cath arrived at the campsite,
and after erecting their tent, joined the rest at the pub. Fluffy
toys were produced, more drinks were consumed, the next days
activities were decided upon (i.e. argued about) and Janice's
chocolate coated locusts were swallowed. After last orders, the
group returned to the campsite. Mike produced a bottle of Baileys and
a bottle of melon gin (Mmmm), various lamps were lit, Chocolate was
devoured, and the group sat around chatting. Various things were
discussed (like Virgin Trains inability to run on time), Lottie then
proceeded to remove Mikes left boot and sock and one of
the high points was when another campsite user delicately hinted at
the noise level by shouting "Must you make so much f*cking noise". to
which Gid v.quietly and humerously reposted.
Ahhhh, the vocabulary of the intelligent and circumspect. After
this display of finesse, the group decided to retire for the night,
and gain some sleep in preparation for the morning.
Saturday:Kinder Scout, Swimming, Food.
Most of the group were awake before seven o'clock, although many
decided on staying inside their tents. Mainly due to the drizzle and
the wind.
When everyone had decided to get up, breakfast was cooked (special
mention to Selina's Bacon Sandwiches), Whilst cooking his breakfast,
Mike dropped a sausage into the pan, and splashed his leg with the fat
he forgot would be displaced. Preparations were made
for the days activities. Decisions were made on which route to use
for the climb of Kinder Scout, and people began to gather together
any supplies they needed. Once ready, the intrepid Hikers set off.
This herewith is the chronicle of Barry R. B.F. OSB
Bright was the morning and high were our hearts when we, Will,
Cath, Mike, Janice, Lottie, Maurice, and myself set out upon the
(ad)venture known as "Climb of Kinder Scout".
Beginning our trek from the start of the new official route of the
Pennine Way, up Kinder Scout, the first part of our journey was
mainly uneventful, except for a few flying hats and inquisitive
sheeps.
The weather was quite acceptable, in that it wasn't raining, and
the brisk wind kept us from overheating. The only annoyance was the
low cloud base whcih hampered the spectacular views from Kinder Low,
the higherst point on the peak.
Mike (wearing a T-shirt) proceeded to set the pace, with a surge to
the front. This prompted the comment "Can someone tell Mike it's
not a marathon." Unfortunately no-one could catch him :-)
All of our group began to chat amongst themselves, and a merry time
was had by all until a particularly muddy ditch was happened upon.
Those of an athletic nature avoided this hazard by leaping across a
stream (well, trickle) five yards along. Others either just ignored
it and carried on at a brisk pace, or carefully squelched their way
through.
Carrying on undaunted, everyone settled into an easy walking pace.
Continuing along the stone path and across stiles, our group made
their way further and further along the Pennine way. Whilst making
his way along a small grassy fringe beside a fairly steep incline,
Maurice suddenly noticed a rabbit. Others of our group tried to see
where it had gone, but sadly the timid creature had vanished into
the scenery. Our group then came upon a small calf stepping out
from behind a small wall, prompting a small chorus of "aahhhh's".
These quickly turned into "whooa's", when the mother suddenly emerged
having been hiding behind the same wall. (Funny how the first thing
you notice is the size of the horns.)
Continuing on, our group was making good progress, when Jacob's
Ladder was reached we stopped beside the river for a quick break,
everyone sat down and consumed any supplies they felt they
required and looked worriedly at a pair of v.muddy walkers who had
just decended from the peak. Once refreshed, our intrepid group
climbed the steps.Some of the steps of Jacob's ladder were in a sad
state of repair[2], but ever onwards and upwards we climbed. The top
was reached without incident, and the view was quite astounding.
Again we marched on, Maurice recieving a Page from his mum thanking
him for leaving his bedroom alarm set at 6.00am . Following the map,
we made for Edale Rocks near Kinder Low and the triangulation point
which we failed to find in the mist.
During the ascent so far, various members of our group had been
discussing their enjoyment of climbing, and when the rock formation
came into site, it was quickly nominated as the site for lunch. Two
of our group then immediately divested themselves of bags and
rucksacks, and then explored the rocks to see how good a climb they
could find, quickly returning after finding that the rocks were to
damp to climb safely.
Lunch was unpacked, and while our group were in the process of
eating, two curious sheep came exploring. They seemed fascinated by
Mike for some reason, (see quote file). Mike promptly took pictures
of them, for the pin up calendar, whilst Will threatened them with
taunts of "Mint Sauce" and "Gid".
Once lunch had been consumed, our group prepared to leave, making
sure not to leave litter lying around. As we continued on, the low
cloud base caused visibility to shorten. Ooooh scary :-)
Following Will, who had made this ascent before, we followed the
Pennine Way making our way to Kinder Downfall, stopping in a good
position to view the waterfall which was disapointingly drippy due to
the low rainfall last week. Still a wonderful view to Kinder
Reservoir and Mermaids pool.
The downfall can be quite spectacular after a rainfall, with it
flowing backwards in stond westerly winds. For
this reason, Mike had decided to put on his jacket. Sadly, having
had no rain, the downfall was not in the best of shape.
Our group then made our way to the feeder sttream for the Downfall
itself and began
following the waterway inland. After making our way inland for some
distance, past Kinder Gates (no relation) we found what appeared to be
our planned exit. Following
the offshoot we came to a fork in the stream. Deciding to take the
lefthand fork, we set of at an easy pace. It quickly became
apparent that the route taken was not the one planned, as the
peat around us became higher, and the stream became thinner and
slightly deeper. During this detour, Will displayed an uncanny
messianic ability to walk on water. The rest of us were stuck with
trying not to sink too much. Coming to the end of the channel, we
decided we should climb out and and make our way overland (or
overpeat) to the
point we had originally aimed for which was the original route of the
Pennine Way. When we were in the process of
climbing the walls of the gully every member of the party, once
their head had cleared to top of the rise, quickly looked around.
Mike quickly commented that we all looked like Meerkats. We decided to
have a quick break, ostensibly to gain our bearings. Looking around
we noticed other walkers, who were also doing impressions of meerkats,
and an unopened Capri-Sun blackcurrant drink carton.
There was much discussion upon whether it was drinkable or not and,
if you want to know the outcome, it was deemed safe. (if you don't
believe me, there was a photo taken of Mike drinking it - hope you are
well<g>).
Once we had finished our break, we set off across the peaty
landscape. Heading East, we tried to keep to the more firmer
ground. During the journey, Maurice displayed some flashes of
Will's ability to stay afloat where mere mortals kept sinking. [3]
Coming across the origin of the Grindbrook Clough stream , we
consulted the map, and decided
to follow it. Whilst following this, we came across a waterfall of
about two to three feet. The first one to drop down noticed that
the landing area was a bit too soft, and notified the rest. Mike
then jumped down, promptly sank up to his ankles, and said some
ungentlemanly words. After an entertaining and prolonged period
of walking, we finally emerged from the wilderness. Thanks to the
amazing map reading and orienteering abilities of the entity known
as WillMikeandMaurice, we were only about four hundred feet from
our originally aimed for destination.
We continued following the pre-planned path, and made our way to
the downward part of our trek. Following the steep and rocky streambed
we climbed down to more gentle walking terrain. We came to the
woods that marked the beginning of the final leg of our journey.
Following the path through the woods and across a bridge, we came
upon the road leading to our campsite. Walking towards the
campsite, a small detour was taken into the Nag's Head Inn. From here,
some of our group made their way back to the campsite, while others
enjoyed a cool refreshing drink.
Of those who returned to the campsite, Maurice, Lottie, and Barry
decided to visit the open air Swimming pool in Hathersage.
After arriving, and Maurice spending a few minutes trying to work out
why his car wasn't working properly we joined the crowd already in the
pool, and discovered one of the disadvantages of open air pools.
Unless you keep yourself submerged up to your chin, the wind makes it
feel like it's minus 10.
After a relaxing swim, to ease tired joints and muscles all three
returned to the campsite, and
joined Gid, Suzi, and Selina (who had spent the day in the local
caverns) and the
rest of our group. After a short period, everyone adjourned
to the pub for dinner and alcohol.
Arriving to a packed Nag's Head Inn, we somehow managed to get a table
(underneath the telly) , and, after a small discussion, Barry was
almost unanimously voted to order food. This consisted of;
4 Rabbit Stews
2 Fish and Chips
2 Hiker Specials (with a side order of onion rings) [4]
1 Chicken Kiev
and whatever Selina had already ordered. <G>
During the wait for the food to arrive, the football was requested
by another member of the pub clientele. Barry climbed up to change
the channel. and promptly found out that there were no preset
channels, and that he had to manually tune the telly. Eventually
the tuner made it's way to BBC1 and he returned to a sitting
position.
Dinner arrived, and was consumed with great enjoyment by all
present. After everyone had cleared their plate, some members of
the group ordered dessert. Again Barry went to order, and received
some fairly fed up looks from the barman. Returning to the table,
he commented upon the fact that he was sure the Barman hated him,
and if anyone had any problems with their dessert, he wasn't going
up to the bar again.
Dessert arrived, and those who ordered it consumed it with every
sign of enjoyment. It was Rhubarb Crumble and so you can imagine the
looks from the surrounding clientele when we launched into a
disjointed version of the Gathering filk. With the clearing of the
table a member of the
group, mentioning no names Will, remarked upon the fact that it was
quite hot inside, and suggested we adjourn outside, for some cooler
air. The group moved outside, and commandeered two tables.
(The table inside was being filled before we'd even finished
vacating it.) Outside the weather was colder than expected, and
coats were closed and fastened. Conversation was resumed and
eventually made its way onto old 80's TV shows. Among those
mentioned were old AFP favourites The Scarecrow and Mrs King, and
Manimal. After enjoying a good chat, the group decided to move on
to the Ramblers Inn, for the purpose of drinking inside, in a more
moderate temperature.
The Ramblers Inn was again invaded by AFPeak and, during the last
part of the evening, a good time was had by all.
Saturday ended [5] by leaving the pub after last orders, walking
back to the campsite, getting into respective tents, and going to
sleep.
Sunday. Visiting Peak Cavern, Lunch, Exploring Castleton. Home.
Sunday Morning was very windy, and no one was really out and about
before nine o'clock (although some people had got up, had a wash,
and disappeared back into their tents to escape the biting wind).
Eventually, everyone emerged into the cold, and proceeded to pack
away their tents. Once all the tents had been stowed, a trip to
Peak Cavern was decided upon with Mike deciding to give it a miss
and meet us for lunch at the George in Castleton. Making their way
via various cars, the group eventually reached the car park for
Peak cavern (somehow losing Gid & Suzi on the way)(Maurice-my fault!).
The timing of
the group was perfect, as a tour was just about to start, and so
was the rain. The tour of the cavern was very interesting although,
like yesterday, Will and Barry began talking about climbing various
parts of the cave. After the tour had finished, the group made
their way out. Whilst leaving the cave, Gid and Suzi were spotted
in the group starting a tour. Both said they would meet us in the
George after their tour. On the way to the George the group came
across a stream in which three little ducklings (aaahhhh) were
swimming, accompanied by their mother. A bookshop was passed by those
of sterner stuff, a few though succumbed to its wiles. Continuing on
towards the George, the group passed a Mountain Rescue Fund Raising
and surprise surprise, Will and Barry stopped to geek.
Eventually, the group arrived at the George, tables were found and
lunch ordered. During Lunch, The quote file was reviewed, notes
were taken, Gid and Suzi returned to our midst, and Barry was told
he was to be the official meet report writer of any meets he
attends in future.
Mike turned up, and said he needed to be going as he had lots to
do. Everyone wished him well, and hoped he had a good journey home.
The rest of the group decided to spend the remaining half hour or
so looking in the shops in Castleton.
The only major purchase made was a sheep, which was bought by Gid
(why am I not surprised).
Once back to the car park, the members of the group decided to
begin their respective journey's home. Darren's Norfolk Meet was
discussed as the next time we all might meet again.
Goodbyes were said and everyone began their journeys home.
(and Virgin still couldn't run trains on time)
Barry R. B.F. The Official Sad Bastard (Y&UGZY)
Thanks again to Selina for the lift to the train Station
[1] This footnote intentionally blank.
[2] These are currently being repaired by the HT. Good people all.
Long may they be around.
[3] The only time he sank further than he expected, I'm sure that
his next three steps never even left an imprint. ;)
[4] Thank you Maurice. ;)
[5] for me at least
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Maurice Barnes (Mr O.)- bar...@globalnet.co.uk
All Things Discworldly at http://www.lspace.org
Maurice Barnes
<Gid> I thought Maurice would've been about six and seven eighths.
<Maurice> I think it's about seven and a quarter.
<Lottie> I'll have anything if it's free.
<Will> I need to come too.
<Mike> This is just as good as my big one.
<Suzi> I can't believe we're touting for Barry.
<Mike> I'm no good at smut.
<Gid> As a sysadmin, Mike must be socks compliant.
<Mike> Could you cough quieter?
<Gid> No, I thought It was a cascade.
<Mike> Did he use the F word? What a rude F*cking B*stard!
<Mike> I forgot the boiling oil.
<Mike> PVC should do it.
<Barry> Should we just say "Geek. Geek. Geek."
<Will> Baaaa! Baaaa!
<Mike> Red Dwarf is basically Lust in Space
<Selina> Excuse me Gid, while I reach between your legs.
<Maurice> You'll just have to pull it off as you need it.
<Mike> I didn't come up here to be warmed by a sheep.
<Mike> Don't worry, someone will go down.
<Maurice> I'm never up for it.
<Mike> We each have 36 degrees of table.
<Suzi> Upstaged by Selina hiccup.
<Gid> There's a pen clicker. Shoot Him.
<Selina> But I've only just stripped off.
<Gid> You know the answer to that, rotate it.
<Suzi> It only works when you do it.
<Lottie> That's the thing with crabs.
<Lottie> If you whip it you can.
<Maurice> For anyone going to the convention as a klatchian,
there's a shop back there selling hookers.
<unattributed quote> You'll be eating you lunch, and you'll
suddenly find a sheep looking over your shoulder.
and for the first time I can remember, a non meet person gets a
quote.
<Waiter at the George> I don't know where to put that.
Barry R
Barnes) was said to have said:
<snyped into gutter>
> one of the high points was when another campsite user delicately
>hinted at the noise level by shouting "Must you make so much
>f*cking noise". to which Gid v.quietly and humerously riposted.
>Ahhhh, the vocabulary of the intelligent and circumspect.
No, that was me, Gid's comment was more along the lines of;
"Must you make so much noise !"£$%^& [2]. Some people have no idea
how well a tent transmits accoustics."
<snyped Into Gutter>
>[1] This footnote intentionally blank.
No, footnote 1 is the rhetorical question. :)
Barry R. B.F. The Official Sad Bastard (AFPurity 33%)(Y&UGZY)
To email, replace .commie with .com
Most people need an IQ of 60 to tie their shoelaces.
I wonder why I go barefoot.
Stig M. Valstad
>
> On the way to the George the group came
>across a stream in which three little ducklings (aaahhhh) were
>swimming, accompanied by their mother.
Are you sure that was their mother accompanying the three little
ducklings, and not, say, their uncle?
--
Stig M. Valstad - sval...@sn.no - http://www.sn.no/~svalstad/
"...you sound like you've been wandering around mumbling in
dark, quiet corners..." Joann L. Dominik
Barry R
Valstad) was said to have said:
<el snype>
>Are you sure that was their mother accompanying the three little
>ducklings, and not, say, their uncle?
>Stig M. Valstad - sval...@sn.no - http://www.sn.no/~svalstad/
Yep. I can remember some of my natural history.
Barry R. B.F. The Official Sad Bastard (Y&UGZY) AFPCode 1.1
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We only had the sixties up until '64, then the americans caught
on to how good they were and took them off' us. Terry Pratchett.
Stig M. Valstad
>On Thu, 09 Jul 1998 17:17:54 GMT+0100, sval...@sn.no (Stig M.
>Valstad) was said to have said:
>
><el snype>
>
>>Are you sure that was their mother accompanying the three little
>>ducklings, and not, say, their uncle?
>
But can you remember your cultural history? Three ducklings and
their uncle happen to be among the greatest cultural icons of our
century.
--
Stig M. Valstad - sval...@sn.no - http://www.sn.no/~svalstad/
"...you sound like you've been wandering around mumbling in
jes...@innotts.co.uk
<eFOuEA2...@nih2naac.prod2.compuserve.com>:
>On Thu, 09 Jul 1998 17:17:54 GMT+0100, sval...@sn.no (Stig M.
>Valstad) was said to have said:
>
><el snype>
>
>>Are you sure that was their mother accompanying the three little
>>ducklings, and not, say, their uncle?
>>Stig M. Valstad - sval...@sn.no - http://www.sn.no/~svalstad/
>
>Yep. I can remember some of my natural history.
But obviously not your Disney.
Andy Brown (Hoping like heck that Stig was talking about Donald, Huey,
Lewey, and Dewey (which I'm sure I've spelt wrong))
--
http://www.innotts.co.uk/~jester/ | Unsound Engineer to the MAS
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T.J. Nijweide
: Donald, Huey, Lewey, and Dewey (which I'm sure I've spelt wrong))
Yep, they're spelt Donald, Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. Over here that is :).
Tob
--
======-------- Tobias J. Nijweide MESA Consulting B.V.
=======--------- ph. (+31)-15-2510733 P.O. Box 9
=======--------- tob...@mesa.nl 2270 AA Voorburg
__==== www.mesa.nl ---__U_n_i_x____I_n_t_e_r_n_e_t__ The Netherlands ____
Staffan Tjernström
T.J. Nijweide wrote in message
>jes...@innotts.co.uk wrote:
>: Donald, Huey, Lewey, and Dewey (which I'm sure I've spelt wrong))
>
>Yep, they're spelt Donald, Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. Over here that is :).
Surely it's Kalle, Knatte, Fnatte & Tjatte???? <g>
--
The Swedish Chef
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http://www.dataphone.se/~staffant
in...@fdhoekstra.nl
>
> T.J. Nijweide wrote in message
> >jes...@innotts.co.uk wrote:
> >: Donald, Huey, Lewey, and Dewey (which I'm sure I've spelt wrong))
> >
> >Yep, they're spelt Donald, Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. Over here that is :).
>
> Surely it's Kalle, Knatte, Fnatte & Tjatte???? <g>
No, T.J. was right, it _is_ Donald, K, K & K. Sorry.
Richard
Stig M. Valstad
>
>T.J. Nijweide wrote in message
>>jes...@innotts.co.uk wrote:
>>: Donald, Huey, Lewey, and Dewey (which I'm sure I've spelt wrong))
>>
>>Yep, they're spelt Donald, Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. Over here that is :).
>
>Surely it's Kalle, Knatte, Fnatte & Tjatte???? <g>
That's Donald, Ole, Dole & Doffen, actually.
--
Stig M. Valstad - sval...@sn.no - http://www.sn.no/~svalstad/
"...you sound like you've been wandering around mumbling in
Tim Mueller
> >>: Donald, Huey, Lewey, and Dewey (which I'm sure I've spelt wrong))
> >>
> >>Yep, they're spelt Donald, Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. Over here that is :).
> >
> >Surely it's Kalle, Knatte, Fnatte & Tjatte???? <g>
>
> That's Donald, Ole, Dole & Doffen, actually.
Sorry, you're wrong. It's Donald, Tick, Trick & Track.
Tim
--
"I mean, that's not my league. That's not my class. I can't handle
that sort of money. You've got to be in the Guild of Lawyers or
something to steal that much." (Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)
Killfiled: earthlink.net
R.Vukina
wrong))
> Yep, they're spelt Donald, Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. Over here
that is :).
> Surely it's Kalle, Knatte, Fnatte & Tjatte???? <g>
> That's Donald, Ole, Dole & Doffen, actually.
Can anyone tell me what is the name of Donald's rich uncle
in original English? I tried to find out for years, but
nobody whom I asked knew whom I was talking about, or
remembered the name in any language but English (Onkel
Dagobert, Zio Papperone ...).
Ratko
--
***************************************
Ratko V. radomir...@zg.tel.hr
***************************************
Dick Eney
R.Vukina <radomir...@zg.tel.hr> wrote:
>> Donald, Huey, Lewey, and Dewey (which I'm sure I've spelt
>wrong))
>> Yep, they're spelt Donald, Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. Over here
>that is :).
>> Surely it's Kalle, Knatte, Fnatte & Tjatte???? <g>
>> That's Donald, Ole, Dole & Doffen, actually.
>
>
>Can anyone tell me what is the name of Donald's rich uncle
>in original English? I tried to find out for years, but
>nobody whom I asked knew whom I was talking about, or
>remembered the name in any language but English (Onkel
>Dagobert, Zio Papperone ...).
Scrooge McDuck. He was named after the rich miser, Ebenezer Scrooge, in
Charles Dickens's story, "A Christmas Carol" and IIRC he first appeared in
a Disney-cartoon version of that story. The "McDuck" was added because of
the cultural association of miserliness with Scottish ancestry.
=Tamar
mmes...@mindspring.com
>
> > Donald, Huey, Lewey, and Dewey (which I'm sure I've spelt
> wrong))
> > Yep, they're spelt Donald, Kwik, Kwek and Kwak. Over here
> that is :).
> > Surely it's Kalle, Knatte, Fnatte & Tjatte???? <g>
> > That's Donald, Ole, Dole & Doffen, actually.
>
> Can anyone tell me what is the name of Donald's rich uncle
> in original English? I tried to find out for years, but
> nobody whom I asked knew whom I was talking about, or
> remembered the name in any language but English (Onkel
> Dagobert, Zio Papperone ...).
Uncle Scrooge. Referring to the Dickens character so notoriously tight
with money.
-Mary (who has saved this entire thread, because it pleases her)
Nils
>Can anyone tell me what is the name of Donald's rich uncle
>in original English? I tried to find out for years, but
>nobody whom I asked knew whom I was talking about, or
>remembered the name in any language but English (Onkel
>Dagobert, Zio Papperone ...).
It's Uncle Scrooge!
HTH-HAND!
nils
--
** AFPiance of fair Selina and Belinda (AFPolygamy) **
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Staffan Tjernström
Nils wrote in message <6xxB3...@p0078.orplid.shnet.org>...
> It's Uncle Scrooge!
To give him his full title, Scrooge McDuck[1]
--
The Swedish Chef
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[1] That's the Scottish[2][3] Mc
[2] The Irish being Mac IIRC
[3] The Scots are reputed for being less than generous
Ailbhe Leamy
Staffan Tjernström <stjer...@gtech.com> wrote in article
<6on6dl$moc$1...@news1.gtech.com>...
>
> Nils wrote in message <6xxB3...@p0078.orplid.shnet.org>...
> > It's Uncle Scrooge!
[snip]
> [1] That's the Scottish[2][3] Mc
> [2] The Irish being Mac IIRC
> [3] The Scots are reputed for being less than generous
the irish use both, and i strongly suspects that
the original words were the same in both
languages. anyone speak scots gaelic out there?
ailbhe
xxxxxx
xqueue
Grymma
Staffan Tjernström wrote in message <6on6dl$moc$1...@news1.gtech.com>...
<snip>
>[1] That's the Scottish[2][3] Mc
>[2] The Irish being Mac IIRC
>[3] The Scots are reputed for being less than generous
>
are _no more_ or _no less_ generous than any other race. I have one
Scots/Irish parent, one English parent, a Scots/Irish set of in-laws
(with a bit of Welsh on my mum-in-laws' side just for good measure).
My father, Om bless him, is my English parent, and, much as I love
him, I have to be the first to say he's as tight as a kippers' arse
with money, if you'll excuse my Klatch. My mum says that the Scots are
inventive and resourceful, and there's a difference between that and
being tight. <rant mode off>
Ahh, that feels better! Now I'm off to have a nice lukewarm mug of tea
and a chunk of Galaxy (X-thread alert here?) That's lukewarm tea,
mind, with lots of sugar and milk. It starts off hot, but I have to
put it up out of the kids' way to prevent burns, tend to forget about
it, remember it later, and then I can't be bothered making a fresh
mug, so I drink it as is. You get used to it after 10 years (No
honestly, you really do ;-)) and I've got so used to it I can't drink
it hot anymore. Coffee is made only with hot milk, with a spoonful of
hot chocolate added, for preference, and again, lots of sugar.
Altogether now - "Bleeuurrggghhhh"
~ Grymma Gry...@howm.demon.co.uk
--
"I only want two things in life :- Everything. Now."
Friends may come and friends may go - but enemies accumulate.
AFPCode 1.1 AAT-UK d-- s-:- a33 UP+ R+++ F++ h- P? OSD: C+++ M--->M
pp--->pp L+ c@ B Cn PT--- Pu64+ !5 X-- MT- eV+ r++++ x++++ end
Brian Howlett
Hello! In an electronic message "Staffan Tjernström"
<stjer...@gtech.com> exclaimed:
>
> Nils wrote in message <6xxB3...@p0078.orplid.shnet.org>...
>> It's Uncle Scrooge!
>
> To give him his full title, Scrooge McDuck[1]
[...sigsnip...]
>
> [1] That's the Scottish[2][3] Mc
> [2] The Irish being Mac IIRC
Nah, "Mc" and "Mac" are virtually interchangeable, both being
Anglicisation of Gaelic names (both types of Gaelic).
> [3] The Scots are reputed for being less than generous
>
You better watch what you're saying, pal! You never know who might be
listening...
Advice freely and generously given. This has been a public service
announcement... ;-)
--
Brian Howlett, Inverness, Scotland
------------------------------------------------------------
I'm a masochist. I like to have a cold shower every morning.
So I don't!
Gid Holyoake
generously decided to share with us:
Snippetry..
> Advice freely and generously given. This has been a public service
> announcement... ;-)
So.. what do we owe you then?? ;-)
Gid (Welsh to the core.. which really means "short arms, deep pockets"..
--
The Most Noble and Exalted Peculiar , Harem Master to Veiled Concubines
Guardian of the Sacred !!!!!'s , Defender of the Temple of AFPdoration
Click on http://www.netcomuk.co.uk/~gidnsuzi/ for The Irrelevant Page
Dooferlad
Grymma wrote in message <6onldh$jvl$1...@library.lspace.org>...
><rant mode on> "reputed" being the operative word here - the Scots
>are _no more_ or _no less_ generous than any other race. I have one
>Scots/Irish parent, one English parent, a Scots/Irish set of in-laws
>(with a bit of Welsh on my mum-in-laws' side just for good measure).
>My father, Om bless him, is my English parent, and, much as I love
>him, I have to be the first to say he's as tight as a kippers' arse
>with money, if you'll excuse my Klatch. My mum says that the Scots are
>inventive and resourceful, and there's a difference between that and
>being tight. <rant mode off>
ooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooo
<fx: Lift up handbag>
<G>
Dooferlad
--
AFP Code 1.1a AC/E-UK d- s:- a- UP+ R++ F++ h- P- OSD+:+ C++++ M* p-- L+ c
B+ Cn:+ PT Pu* 5 X+ MT++ eV+>e+++ r! x?
http://www.karoo.net/tunni
Nils
>Nils wrote in message <6xxB3...@p0078.orplid.shnet.org>...
>> It's Uncle Scrooge!
>
>To give him his full title, Scrooge McDuck[1]
...and three cheers to afpedantry!
Everybody is whining about it, but methinks that afpedantry
is one the finest flowerings of net-culture (xthread:
oxymorons?)...
I learned a lot of un/interesting facts thru it...
That's worth most of the noise IMHO...
Brian Howlett
exclaimed:
> In article <4867339510%Br...@fingask.demon.co.uk>, Brian Howlett
> generously decided to share with us:
>
> Snippetry..
>
>> Advice freely and generously given. This has been a public service
>> announcement... ;-)
>
> So.. what do we owe you then?? ;-)
>
> Gid (Welsh to the core.. which really means "short arms, deep
> pockets"..
>
Oh, a pint of <insert current beer of choice> if we ever find ourselves
in the same bar...
--
Brian Howlett
-------------------------
He's fallen in the water!
8 ' Flesh Eating Dragon
^
| ...and three cheers to afpedantry!
|
| Everybody is whining about it, but methinks that afpedantry
| is one the finest flowerings of net-culture (xthread:
| oxymorons?)...
What people whine about is that pedantry is too often
concerned with trivial things like spelling and grammar.
What I think happened was this. On the first day the
afpopulation created pedantry, and the afpopulation saw
that it was good. On the second day the afpopulation
created the rule that a pedantic post must contain a
mistake of its own, and the afpopulation saw that it was
good. On the third day when people were trying to think
up a mistake to insert into their pedantic posts, they
didn't want to spoil their information and therefore
inserted a spelling error instead, and the afpopulation
pretty much let all this go by. On the fourth day this
had initiated long chains of pedantic posts pertaining
for the most part to spelling and grammar, and the
afpopulation barely shrugged its collective shoulders.
On the fifth day afpedantry came to be associated with
pointing out mistakes in spelling and grammar, and the
afpopulation finally began to wonder if something might
be going wrong. On the sixth day the afpopulation
started posting complaints about afpedantry to afp, and
the afpopulation saw that it was a bit of a problem
really. :-)
--
Here and there I like to preserve a few islands of sanity
within the vast sea of absurdity which is my mind.
After all, you can't survive as an eight foot tall
flesh eating dragon if you've got no concept of reality.
Grymma
Dooferlad wrote in message
<6oqkef$cc1$3...@svr-c-02.core.theplanet.net>...<snip>...........My mum says that the Scots are
>>inventive and resourceful, and there's a difference between that and
>>being tight. <rant mode off>
>
>ooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooo
>
><fx: Lift up handbag>
>
><G>
Very nice - but you can put it down now, I've seen enough, thanks.
<VBG>
Speaking of handbags - Has anyone ever wondered about the strange
forces that must be at work regarding womens' handbags? I mean, for a
start, they must be bigger inside to account for all the cr*p I can
fit into mine, and last week I found a set of mini screwdrivers *that
got there by itself*. I didn't even need screwdrivers when I found
them; I was looking for a yoghurt spoon at the time.........
Brian Howlett
exclaimed:
[snip]
>
> Very nice - but you can put it down now, I've seen enough, thanks.
>
> <VBG>
>
> Speaking of handbags - Has anyone ever wondered about the strange
> forces that must be at work regarding womens' handbags? I mean, for a
> start, they must be bigger inside to account for all the cr*p I can
> fit into mine, and last week I found a set of mini screwdrivers *that
> got there by itself*. I didn't even need screwdrivers when I found
> them; I was looking for a yoghurt spoon at the time.........
[...sig snip...]
Aha! So that's where they went! I've been looking for those screwdrivers
for ages. I've got this loose screw...
--
Brian Howlett
-----------------------------------------------
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
Rodney Rutherfurd
> > Very nice - but you can put it down now, I've seen enough, thanks.
> >
> > <VBG>
> >
> > Speaking of handbags - Has anyone ever wondered about the strange
> > forces that must be at work regarding womens' handbags? I mean, for a
> > start, they must be bigger inside to account for all the cr*p I can
> > fit into mine, and last week I found a set of mini screwdrivers *that
> > got there by itself*. I didn't even need screwdrivers when I found
> > them; I was looking for a yoghurt spoon at the time.........
> [...sig snip...]
A yoghurt spoon? What the heck did you have a yoghurt spoon in your bag
and secondly, what is a yoghurt spoon? Is it one of those spoons that
have a straw attachment?
#**The Scuba Diving Dipstick**#
Dooferlad
>I worote this bit actually...<dooferlad>
>>ooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooo
>>
>><fx: Lift up handbag>
>>
>><G>
>
>
><VBG>
>
>Speaking of handbags - Has anyone ever wondered about the strange
>forces that must be at work regarding womens' handbags? I mean, for a
>start, they must be bigger inside to account for all the cr*p I can
>fit into mine, and last week I found a set of mini screwdrivers *that
>got there by itself*. I didn't even need screwdrivers when I found
>them; I was looking for a yoghurt spoon at the time.........
Sounds like a second case of L-space but for handbags. Try reaching in and
fishing around for next weeks lottery ticket :)
Grymma
Rodney Rutherfurd wrote in message ...
<Snippetry>
>A yoghurt spoon? What the heck did you have a yoghurt spoon in your
bag...
What? Do you not have a yoghurt spoon in your handbag then, Rodney?
Oh. I guess its just me then... ;-^)
>and secondly, what is a yoghurt spoon? Is it one of those spoons
that
>have a straw attachment?
Nononono. Its one of my kids weaning spoons. Comes in very handy when
out and about with the little soandso^H^H^Hdarlings, on account of
their getting hungry at the most inopportune times. So you prepare
outings in advance - yoghurt in the pushchair basket (along with
juice, nappies, crisps, etc), and obligatory fluff-covered spoon is
retrieved from bottom of aforementioned handbag as necessary.
I wash it periodically, of course. I'm rather fond of our yoghurt
spoon - it has been in my handbag for 10 years now.....
~ Grymma (Another) Afpiancee of Xmorpheus - have another choccie,
dear
--
"I only want two things in life :- Everything. Now."
Friends may come and friends may go - but afpiances accumulate ;-)
AFPCode 1.1 AAT-UK d-- s-:- a33 UP+ R+++ F++ h- P? OSD: C+++ M-
pp L+ c@ B Cn PT--- Pu61+ !5 X-- MT- eV+ r++++ x+++ end
Dick Eney
Grymma <Gry...@howm.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
>Rodney Rutherfurd wrote in message ...
><Snippetry>
>
>>A yoghurt spoon? What the heck did you have a yoghurt spoon in your
>bag...
>
>What? Do you not have a yoghurt spoon in your handbag then, Rodney?
>Oh. I guess its just me then... ;-^)
>Its one of my kids weaning spoons. Comes in very handy when
>out and about with the little soandso^H^H^Hdarlings
> - it has been in my handbag for 10 years now.....
Well, that beats mine.. but then, mine is in my handbag so that _I_ can
eat yogurt when a spoon isn't handy. (It used to be for ice cream but
times change.)
=tamar
es...@ftech.co.uk
accumulated knowledge of the universe by scribing thusly:
>> Speaking of handbags - Has anyone ever wondered about the strange
>> forces that must be at work regarding womens' handbags? I mean, for a
>> start, they must be bigger inside to account for all the cr*p I can
>> fit into mine, and last week I found a set of mini screwdrivers *that
>> got there by itself*. I didn't even need screwdrivers when I found
>> them; I was looking for a yoghurt spoon at the time.........
>[...sig snip...]
>Aha! So that's where they went! I've been looking for those screwdrivers
>for ages.
Oh no! They're not your screwdrivers. They're mine, I tell you...mine! I
know because they went missing from my handbag the other week...and
what's more I found a yoghurt spoon that I'm sure isn't mine. Obviously.
all the handbags are linked by Lspace, which explains, Grymma dearest,
why we manage to carry all that cr*p around in such small bags.
> I've got this loose screw...
Now tell us something we didn't already know....
--
esmi
Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key.
(Alan Bennet)
Brian Howlett
> In <486836CA57%Br...@fingask.demon.co.uk>, Brian Howlett added to the
> accumulated knowledge of the universe by scribing thusly:
[munch, chomp]
>
>> I've got this loose screw...
>
> Now tell us something we didn't already know....
>
[...sigsnip...]
Esmi, m'dear, its not *like* that! It's the one that holds my leg on...
[1].
[I] Nonono! The leg of my specs... ;-)
--
Brian Howlett
-------------------------------------------------------------
People who live in glass houses should undress in the dark...
Rodney Rutherfurd
> Oh. I guess its just me then... ;-^)
Guess so.
> >and secondly, what is a yoghurt spoon? Is it one of those spoons
> that
> >have a straw attachment?
>
> Nononono. Its one of my kids weaning spoons.
Shouldn't it be called a weaning spoon then?
> Comes in very handy when
> out and about with the little soandso^H^H^Hdarlings, on account of
> their getting hungry at the most inopportune times. So you prepare
> outings in advance - yoghurt in the pushchair basket (along with
> juice, nappies, crisps, etc), and obligatory fluff-covered spoon is
> retrieved from bottom of aforementioned handbag as necessary.
I have a drawer which has the same problem as your handbag. I have put
unknown amounts of junk and stuff in there and it weighs a ton but I can
never seem to fill it up! Though I must say I have never put a spoon in
there, especially one which has yoghurt on it.
> I wash it periodically, of course.
As long as those periods are a minimum of yearly then I recon that's okay.
> I'm rather fond of our yoghurt
> spoon - it has been in my handbag for 10 years now.....
I suppose you could give it to your kids and call it an heirloom.
Well I've babbled enough, just hope my insanity is not contageous.
#**The Scuba Diving Dipstick**#
__.
'/
Everybody seems to be making echidnas so how about this? A stealth
echidna.
8 ' Flesh Eating Dragon
^
| In <486836CA57%Br...@fingask.demon.co.uk>, Brian Howlett added to the
| accumulated knowledge of the universe by scribing thusly:
|
| > I've got this loose screw...
|
| Now tell us something we didn't already know....
Once upon an email conversation with my sister, she sent
me a message with the title, "Loose Screw".
My reply was titled, "Fallen Right Out".
I sent another reply. "Rusted To Powder".
She sent me, "Reddish powder blowing away in the wind".
I sent her, "Iron-rich sedimentary deposit".
She sent me, "Buldozer clearing region ready for mining".
I sent her, "Buldozer door falls off; loose screw".
Grymma
es...@ftech.co.uk wrote in message <6p01b7$gv7$2...@library.lspace.org>...
>In <486836CA57%Br...@fingask.demon.co.uk>, Brian Howlett added to the
>accumulated knowledge of the universe by scribing thusly:
>>Aha! So that's where they went! I've been looking for those
screwdrivers
>>for ages.
>
>Oh no! They're not your screwdrivers. They're mine, I tell
you...mine! I
>know because they went missing from my handbag the other week...and
>what's more I found a yoghurt spoon that I'm sure isn't mine.
Obviously.
>all the handbags are linked by Lspace, which explains, Grymma
dearest,
>why we manage to carry all that cr*p around in such small bags.
OK, so own up. Which of you has my green travelling toothbrush then,
eh?
You can't miss it, it's like, *really tatty* after 7 years floating
around in the collective handbag, even though I've only used it once
(No wonder it's tatty, if everyone else is using it as well!) .....and
lets not get into the spare pair of knickers......... <grin>
>> I've got this loose screw...
>Now tell us something we didn't already know....
It wasn't me. I never touched it. Honestly, I didn't. (Hmmph, I
*always* get the blame. 'snisn't fair) ;-)
~ Grymma Afpiancee of Xmorpheus
Grymma
Dooferlad wrote in message
<6ov6fh$3m2$1...@svr-c-02.core.theplanet.net>...
>Sounds like a second case of L-space but for handbags. Try reaching
in and
>fishing around for next weeks lottery ticket :)
Rats! Drat! and Darn, even! Someone read this before me, reached into
The Bag, and _just_ beat me to it! :-/
Esmi - have you got the lottery ticket? [1]
~ Grymma Afpiancee of Xmorpheus
--
"I only want two things in life :- Everything. Now."
Friends may come and friends may go - but afpiances accumulate ;-)
AFPCode 1.1 AAT-UK d-- s-:- a33 UP+ R+++ F++ h- P? OSD: C+++ M-
pp L+ c@ B Cn PT--- Pu61+ !5 X-- MT- eV+ r++++ x+++ end
[1] Yeah, like anyone would *admit* it!
Gid Holyoake
to share with us:
Mucho Snippetry..
> and lets not get into the spare pair of knickers...
Oh.. they're yours are they.. I did wonder why they didn't appear to fit
me very well.. pretty pattern though :-)
> It wasn't me. I never touched it. Honestly, I didn't. (Hmmph, I
> *always* get the blame. 'snisn't fair) ;-)
Naah.. you're much too much of a youngster to join the blame society..
heck, *I'm* much too much of a youngster to join the blame society.....
:-)
Gid
es...@ftech.co.uk
knowledge of the universe by scribing thusly:
>es...@ftech.co.uk wrote in message <6p01b7$gv7$2...@library.lspace.org>...
>>In <486836CA57%Br...@fingask.demon.co.uk>, Brian Howlett exclaimed
>>>Aha! So that's where they went! I've been looking for those screwdrivers
>>>for ages.
>>Oh no! They're not your screwdrivers. They're mine, I tell you...mine! I
>>know because they went missing from my handbag the other week...and
>>what's more I found a yoghurt spoon that I'm sure isn't mine. Obviously.
>>all the handbags are linked by Lspace, which explains, Grymma dearest,
>>why we manage to carry all that cr*p around in such small bags.
>OK, so own up. Which of you has my green travelling toothbrush then,
>eh?
<fx: rummages in handbag>
Nope...not me but if anyone wants to claim a table tennis ball and an
open packet of Fishermen's Friends, they're here with me.
>You can't miss it, it's like, *really tatty* after 7 years floating
>around in the collective handbag, even though I've only used it once
>(No wonder it's tatty, if everyone else is using it as well!)
Ewwwww.....
>.....and lets not get into the spare pair of knickers......... <grin>
Erm...were they your knickers or mine...? *blush*
--
esmi
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
(Albert Einstein)
es...@ftech.co.uk
knowledge of the universe by scribing thusly:
>Dooferlad wrote in message <6ov6fh$3m2$1...@svr-c-02.core.theplanet.net>...
>>Sounds like a second case of L-space but for handbags. Try reaching in and
>>fishing around for next weeks lottery ticket :)
>Rats! Drat! and Darn, even! Someone read this before me, reached into
>The Bag, and _just_ beat me to it! :-/
>Esmi - have you got the lottery ticket? [1]
*click*
"This is a recorded message. esmi is currently on a round the world
cruise after suddenly coming into possession of the winning lottery
ticket. If you would like to leave a message, please speak clearly after
the long tone"
beep...beep...
>[1] Yeah, like anyone would *admit* it!
beeeee....oh rats!
Staffan Tjernström
es...@ftech.co.uk wrote in message
>*click*
>
>"This is a recorded message. esmi is currently on a round the world
>cruise after suddenly coming into possession of the winning lottery
>ticket. If you would like to leave a message, please speak clearly after
>the long tone"
>
>beep...beep...
>
Ok folks, it's time to come clean (something I do every Sat whether I need
to or not)... I inserted the 'future lspace number prediction' routine into
the system, causing by the pyramid (game) effect the said ticket to come
into (virtual) existance. Unfortunately, there was a bug which has led to an
infinite number of these being in circulation, hence the share per ticket is
as close to nothing as makes no odds.... apologies all around.
Staffan Tj.
--
Lottery fact #212b3.5a - A Merkian state's lottery number game gave 666 as
the winning number last haloween.
Arjan Bos
Brian Howlett wrote:
> -------------------------------------------------------------
> People who live in glass houses should undress in the dark...
I'm just wondering, isn't that why they invented curtains?
Greetings,
Arjan Bos
Grymma
Arjan Bos wrote in message <35B637CF...@wxs.net>...
....But it's really hard to attach curtain poles to glass houses.....
Rodney Rutherfurd
> Brian Howlett wrote:
>
> > -------------------------------------------------------------
> > People who live in glass houses should undress in the dark...
Better still people in grass houses shouldn't stow throwns.
Perplexed?
Well here's the story.
An old man (once a member of the thieves guild) decided that he was
getting too old to steal things, so he decided he would do one more heist.
He snuck out very early in the morning and stole nothing less than the
kings thrown and brought it back, successfully, and put it in the attic of
his little grass hut. The roof bowed and strained but it didn't break and
so the old man sat down and had some breakfast. Later that day, after the
king had found his thrown missing he had the whole kingdom checked. The
men came to the old mans door and asked to look inside, the old man hid
the thrown well upstairs so he let them in, they did their search and
found nothing. As they were leaving one of the guards let out an almighty
sneeze and the roof gave way. The thrown came crashing down on top of the
old man, killing him instantly. That is how the moral was made.
Then of course there is "When the foo sh*ts wear it" and "Don't hatchet
your counts before they've chickened" but of course you probably don't
want to hear them.
#**The Scuba Diving Dipstick**#
in...@fdhoekstra.nl
>
> Brian Howlett wrote:
>
> > -------------------------------------------------------------
> > People who live in glass houses should undress in the dark...
>
Certainly. More importantly, though, people who live in
glass houses shouldn't invite him that is without sin.
Richard
Cyclops
>
> Brian Howlett wrote:
>
> > -------------------------------------------------------------
> > People who live in glass houses should undress in the dark...
>
> I'm just wondering, isn't that why they invented curtains?
>
Kenneth Horne: Complete the well-known phrase or saying:-
"People in glass houses shouldn't..."
Well that's complete as it stands.
--
Cyclops
Don't forget to take the "p" out of my e-mail address!
NB: Don't e-mail from hotmail.com addresses as they are barred!
Tony / Gonzo
:
:->Then of course there is "When the foo sh*ts wear it" and "Don't hatchet
:->your counts before they've chickened" but of course you probably don't
:->want to hear them.
Oh I think we do.
--
From Tony Kennick aka Gonzo The Great
http://missy.shef.ac.uk/users/old-firm/
---------------------------------------------
AFP Code 1.1 AP d-- s%40:+ a- U+ R++ F++ h+ P-
OS+++:-- C++++ M-- pp--- L%40 c%40 B%40 Cn%40
PT%40 Pu60@ 5%40 !X MT+++ e+ r+ y++
---------------------------------------------
JudithPER
>>Then of course there is "When the foo sh*ts wear it" and "Don't hatchet
>:->your counts before they've chickened" but of course you probably don't
>:->want to hear them.
>
>Oh I think we do.
There's my husband's favorite: " That so & so doesn't have a leg to pee on."
Phil is always one for mixing metaphors. Another is "I have other sh*t to
fry".
)
Judith
--
When you have a Golden Retriever, a day without slime is a day without
sunshine.
Gid Holyoake
> There's my husband's favorite: " That so & so doesn't have a leg to pee on."
> Phil is always one for mixing metaphors. Another is "I have other sh*t to
> fry".
I'd love to meet your husband.. I'm sure we'd get along famously.....
Rodney Rutherfurd
finish what I started so here it goes:
This time around I'll leave the moral to the end of the story. First
moral. A ship was traveling along around the disk and the ships captain's
name was Marco Polo. As you know, Marco Polo circumnavigated the globe
(well probably not but it fits the story) and as you also know, the disk
is not a globe. The obvious thing here is that the ship goes over the
edge of the disk and is lost forever but two men survive by jumping off
onto a small deserted island before the ship falls over the edge. They
were happily living on that island for weeks until one day one of the guys
heard a strange sound. "Foo Foo Foo" it went. The man ran screaming to
his friend and asked if he knew what it was and the other man stood in
stark silence, he knew that sound. It was the call of the Foo bird. A
legendary bird that will eat everything and anything which makes it's guano
more acidic than digestive juices. It is said that if a Foo bird poops on
you then as soon as you remove that poop a reaction will take place on
your skin and you will die instantly. Well those two guys didn't need to
be told twice so they ran off the island and jumped in the water and
started swimming but the bird had seen them and came over to investigate.
Sure enough, it dropped a load and it landed square on one of the men's
backs. As the water washed away the grimy stuff the man began to scream
and finally he died. His friend continued swimming and made it to a
passing boat which picked him up and took him home. The moral to this
story is, "If the Foo sh*ts wear it".
Second Moral.
A king was walking through his garden one day and one of his aides came
running up and informed him that the crown jewels had been stolen.
Immediately the king began finding out who had access to the jewels and
he found that only one man had been anywhere near them, Count Ballus. The
king was infuriated that one of his Counts would betray him and set the
guilitine up himself. The Count was placed in the stocks of the guilitine
and asked, "Where are the jewels?" He just shook his head. This
continued for a while until the king got really mad and was about to pull
the chain when the Count cried "NO I'LL TELL, I'LL TELL" but it was too
late, the blade was falling and was quickly followed by his head. The
jewels were never recovered. The moral to to this story is: "Don't
hatchet your count's before they've chickened".
The end.
#**The Scuba Diving Dipstick**#
"It has, was going to be happening, was a future event that could, is, was
has been happened. So there! Your bucket's been kicked baby!" Arnold
Judas Rimmer BSC SSC
Matthew du Plessis
say about whatever it is we're on about here:
The
> jewels were never recovered. The moral to to this story is: "Don't
> hatchet your count's before they've chickened".
>
> The end.
The way I heard it was in connection with two other similar
installations. Briefly:
Good King, Bad King. Good King had magic throne. Bad King steals throne.
Good King marches on Bad Kings castle, which is guarded by a giant yellow
monster who is covering every entrance to the castle with one of many
pairs of its huge claws. Good King sends whole army down to fight
monster, monster slays whole army, except for Good King and two young
boys who were too young to fight. Late that night, while monster asleep,
young boys sneak between the Monster's claws and steal the throne back.
Moral: Let your Pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.
Running away with Bad King hot on heels, the pages are separated from the
King, who returns to the castle. The boys with the throne get lost on the
plains, and find a house made of grass. They hide the throne in the attic
and go to sleep. The next morning one of the boys wakes up and discovers
that in the night the throne fell through the soft roof and landed on the
other page's head, killing him.
Moral: Don't stow thrones in Grass huts.
The remaining page takes the throne to a friendly count's castle, where
the throne is hidden. Bad King catches up to them, puts count on
executioners block: Where's throne? Not telling. Axe comes down, count
says "Okay I'll tell you" Too late, *thud*
Moral: Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.
Anyone know the wrong way to tip a Rary?
Matthew
Shaun Salter
Rodney Rutherfurd wrote in message ...
and anything which makes it's guano
>more acidic than digestive juices.
Any relation to the "OOOH-AAAH" bird?*
*so-called because it lays square eggs.......#
# I'll get my coat
Shaun "Show'us yer titwillows" Salter
Rodney Rutherfurd
> Rodney Rutherfurd wrote in message ...
> >It was the call of the Foo bird. A legendary bird that will eat everything
> and anything which makes it's guano
> >more acidic than digestive juices.
>
> Any relation to the "OOOH-AAAH" bird?*
>
> *so-called because it lays square eggs.......#
No, but it related to the now extinct one winged bum bird. This bird had
only one wing and because of this that wing was massive compared to the
birds body so that when it flew it went around in circles so fast it went
up it's own bum and disappeared.
#**The Scuba Diving Dipstick**#
Barry Vaughan
<jo...@gelsalba.demon.co.uk> writes
>On 19 Jul 1998 11:42:09 GMT, "8 ' Flesh Eating Dragon"
><morgan...@netyp.com.au> wrote:
>
>>
>>What people whine about is that pedantry is too often
>>concerned with trivial things like spelling and grammar.
>>
>>What I think happened was this. On the first day the
>>afpopulation created pedantry, ....
>
>[Rest snipped]
>
>Time for the pedants revolt - led by Which Tyler
>
Who's on first base?
BJV
--
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dear God, we paid for all this stuff ourselves,
so thanks for nothing - Bart Simpson
-------------------------------------------------------------
Ba...@samael.demon.co.uk
Shaun Salter
Barry Vaughan wrote in message <7Mcv$QACJg...@samael.demon.co.uk>...
>In article <35d1d4d0...@news.demon.co.uk>, John Ewing
><jo...@gelsalba.demon.co.uk> writes
>>On 19 Jul 1998 11:42:09 GMT, "8 ' Flesh Eating Dragon"
>>Time for the pedants revolt - led by Which Tyler
>>
>
>Who's on first base?
No, Who's in the tardis, Wat led the revolt? Idunno.....
Shaun
The Apostate
Shaun Salter wrote in message ...
Wise up.
--
The Apostate
Reality is an illusion caused by the absence of Alcohol
Gid Holyoake
Apostate generously decided to share with us:
> Shaun Salter wrote in message ...
> >>John Ewing writes
> >>>"8 ' Flesh Eating Dragon"
> >>>Time for the pedants revolt - led by Which Tyler
> >>Who's on first base?
> >No, Who's in the tardis, Wat led the revolt? Idunno.....
> Wise up.
Nonononono.. "Great Boo's up" :-)
The Apostate
Gid Holyoake wrote in message ...
>In article <902743056.3226.0...@news.demon.co.uk>, The
>Apostate generously decided to share with us:
>
>> Shaun Salter wrote in message ...
>> >Barry Vaughan wrote:
>> >>John Ewing writes
>> >>>"8 ' Flesh Eating Dragon"
>
>> >>>Time for the pedants revolt - led by Which Tyler
>> >>Who's on first base?
>> >No, Who's in the tardis, Wat led the revolt? Idunno.....
>> Wise up.
>
>Nonononono.. "Great Boo's up" :-)
>
Actually, Serfs up.
I've just had a thought. (Waits for amazed gasps and sycophantic
applause. Doesn't get any, sulks for two hours, comes back to a huge
phone bill)
As it's Which Tyler can we have us a burnin'? Huh? Please Paw, please,
can we? can we?. Aw. We've not had us a burnin' since that crone and
her cat.
(Returns to old Goon show manuscripts.)
John William Aldis
Apostate <The.Ap...@david-goodstadt.demon.co.uk> writes
>>Nonononono.. "Great Boo's up" :-)
tribe. His name... is Great Boo.
He has been suffering from sleeping sickness, and has evidently just
awoken, because, as you just heard, "Great Boo's up!"
So I'll just go and see how he is, shall I?
[No ppoints for ppointing out mistakes, as I haven't seen this for
ages. </BLASPHEME>]
>As it's Which Tyler can we have us a burnin'? Huh? Please Paw, please,
>can we? can we?. Aw. We've not had us a burnin' since that crone and
>her cat.
>
>(Returns to old Goon show manuscripts.)
Must have... must have...
Where did you get them from? Do they have an ISBN?
+---
| John Aldis Surely never had a male,
jo...@syntagma.demon.co.uk Under such like circumstances,
So adventurous a tale,
Which may rank with most romances. |
- Koko, The Mikado ---+
Brian Howlett
John William Aldis <Jo...@syntagma.demon.co.uk> contributed thusly :
> In article <902830196.7656.0...@news.demon.co.uk>, The
> Apostate <The.Ap...@david-goodstadt.demon.co.uk> writes
[snip]
>> (Returns to old Goon show manuscripts.)
> Must have... must have...
>
> Where did you get them from? Do they have an ISBN?
"More Goon Show Scripts" written and selected by Spike Milligna [1] has
the number 0 7221 6075 5 on the back, but that probably predates ISBN
(ppint?). The edition I have was first published in 1973 by The Woburn
Press, but is a Sphere Books p/b (the 1975 reprint). This was the second
lot of GS scripts to be published, but I don't possess a copy of the
other one.
[1] The well known typing error...
--
Brian Howlett, with thread-relevant tag-line ;-)
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Why is that tiger wearing brown boots?"
"Because his black ones are at the menders!" (badum-ching!)
John Warden
Brian Howlett wrote in message <4875BCD310%Br...@fingask.demon.co.uk>...
>"More Goon Show Scripts" written and selected by Spike Milligna [1] has
>the number 0 7221 6075 5 on the back, but that probably predates ISBN
>(ppint?). The edition I have was first published in 1973 by The Woburn
>Press, but is a Sphere Books p/b (the 1975 reprint). This was the second
>lot of GS scripts to be published, but I don't possess a copy of the
>other one.
>
<puts on bluebottle voice>: You rotten swine, you, dat's my book, dat is,
what i have right here so that i can read it while walking backwards for
Christmas, across the Irish Sea.
<fx> SPLASH !
<little Jim voice>: He's fallen in the water!
There are also a number of scipts in The Book of the Goons, p/b by Corgi
Books, 1975, ISBN 0 552 09924 3.
This contains, among other gems, the text of a telgram sent from Secombe to
Milligan,
"There is no justice as a prisoner remarked when the court convened without
a judge."
John, Comte de la Comte Moriarty, French scrag and lackey to Hercules
Grytpype-Thynne
T Mark Hall
<Br...@fingask.demon.co.uk> writes
>While idly passing time pretending to be an infinite number of monkeys,
>John William Aldis <Jo...@syntagma.demon.co.uk> contributed thusly :
>
>> In article <902830196.7656.0...@news.demon.co.uk>, The
>> Apostate <The.Ap...@david-goodstadt.demon.co.uk> writes
>[snip]
>>> (Returns to old Goon show manuscripts.)
>> Must have... must have...
>>
>> Where did you get them from? Do they have an ISBN?
>
>the number 0 7221 6075 5 on the back, but that probably predates ISBN
>(ppint?). The edition I have was first published in 1973 by The Woburn
>Press, but is a Sphere Books p/b (the 1975 reprint). This was the second
>lot of GS scripts to be published, but I don't possess a copy of the
>other one.
>
published by Sphere paperbacks in 1973 and 1974.
--
T Mark Hall