If Jesus came to San Francisco
Ezekiel Krahlin
STEPHANIE SALTER
Examiner columnist
Sept. 17, 1998
(c) 1998 San Francisco Examiner
URL:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/examiner/archive/1998/09/17/EDITORIAL5562.dtl
SOMETIMES, JUST to stay sane, I imagine what it would be like if Jesus
came back, physically, among us. Would he spend his time condemning
homosexuality and women preachers - something he never did the last
time around - or would he stick to his main message that we should
love God and our neighbor and care for the poor, sick and imprisoned?
The Rev. Declan Deane, one courageous Jesuit priest from St. Monica's
parish in Moraga, did some similar imagining last month as part of the
West Coast Call to Action convention in Belmont.
Based in Chicago, Call to Action is a group of nuns, brothers, laity
and a few priests. In 1996, the group was among many cited by the
bishop of Lincoln, Neb., as "perilous to and incompatible with the
Catholic faith" and a cause for excommunication. Why? As part of their
quest for a more inclusive, Christ-like faith, the group's members
encourage discussion of such subjects as the second-class citizenship
of Catholic females. Pope John Paul II has declared that such
discussions by Catholic faithful violate the church's "infallible"
teachings.
In a homily delivered during the convention's closing Mass, Deane
imagined Jesus landing at San Francisco International and heading to
the Commonwealth Club where he is a substitute for the originally
scheduled speaker - "Deepak Shupra," who was to have lectured on
"Finding Peace of Mind." When Jesus hears that his lecture fee is
$25,000, he says: "Go and disperse it among the poor and homeless in
the street."
During his lecture, he tells the audience that they can find peace of
mind by avoiding greed in all forms. He advises them to sell all their
possessions and give everything to the poor. The audience grouses that
Deepak Shupra would have been more inspiring.
Next, Jesus is invited to dinner with all The City's religious leaders
by the archbishop of San Francisco. Jesus says he can't come that
night because he's already agreed to have dinner at a restaurant in
the Castro "with some of his friends from the gay and lesbian,
bisexual and transgender community." He invites the religious leaders
to join him, but they decline.
After that, everywhere Jesus goes, he is followed by protesters from
the Christian Coalition. They carry signs that claim: "This is not the
Christ. He welcomes sinners and dines with them."
Jesus visits prisoners in San Quentin and talks about the sanctity of
all human life "from the unborn child in the womb to my humble friends
on Death Row." Before long, he has "alienated both liberals and
conservatives." The number of his followers decreases.
Among those who don't desert Jesus are a group of faithful women. So
obvious is their presence, Jesus is questioned by the Vatican's U.S.
representative, the papal nunzio. He tells Jesus the women are "giving
a bad impression" because it looks like Jesus thinks they can be
ministers equally with men.
Jesus quotes St. Paul: "In Christ there is neither male nor female,
but all are one in him." The papal nunzio asks: "Do you think you know
better than the Holy Father (the pope)?" Jesus says: "Before the Holy
Father was, I am."
In a few hours, Jesus is under investigation by the Vatican's keeper
of Catholic orthodoxy, the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the
Faith.
Over the next few days, Jesus recommends that people become more
child-like. He eats dinner at the home of a Mafia godfather, who
promptly gives half of what he owns to the poor and pledges to pay
back all whom he has defrauded "four times over." Jesus pronounces the
man a "child of God" and is denounced by politicians as a "dangerous
radical." The FBI starts trailing him.
Then Jesus heals the servant of a Muslim after he says he can tell
that Jesus is "from God." Jesus lauds the Muslim's faith. Jesus
receives death threats and must flee San Francisco for another place.
End of Fr. Deane's homily.
In July, Pope John Paul II issued a couple of pronouncements aimed
primarily at curbing liberal clergy and theologians in the United
States. One declared that teachings that deviate from Catholicism's
"definitive truths" - bans on euthanasia, female priests and sex
outside of marriage - violate church law. Transgressors can be
punished with anything from a warning to excommunication.
Father Deane did his imagining in front of 300 people and allowed his
homily to be reprinted. As I said, he is one brave priest.
---
Pennsylvania Dutch Gay Jesus says:
"Throw the hetero over the fence some hay."
---
The Final Testament, a Bible by and for Gays only:
http://members.xoom.com/ezekielk/
I come like a thief in the night!
---
Charles Schulz's lawyers are after my ass
for my gay-rights parody of Peanuts!
http://www.2xtreme.net/jwd/k6/copyrite.htm
Speedbyrd :>
As far as I'm concerned NO church is worthy to 'make laws' for
anyone. They certainly don't govern MY life.
The Speedbyrd(tm) ... the usual suspect
ICQ# 17433172
T'Pring AKA Darthi7 of Borg
It would happen. People can be so stupid sometimes. Kudos.
--Darthi7 of Borg
SPOCK: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Nebula/5883/
Locutus: http://www.angelfire.com/ca2/tpringspace/
Gay Rights: http://members.tripod.com/~HeteroGirl4GayRights/
KTSL: http://www.freetown.com/Hollywood/HollywoodBlvd/1024/ (Kill The Scream League)
----------------------
"And to all others in this story profound shooms of lipmusic brrrrrr. And they can kiss my sharries."
----------------------
hmmm. I wonder what you should remove from this email address?
Ezekiel Krahlin
star7cy...@ecch.spam.lycosmail.com (T'Pring AKA Darthi7 of Borg)
wrote:
>Thanx muchly, Zeke -- this one put a slight smile of irony on my face.
>It would happen. People can be so stupid sometimes. Kudos.
>
>--Darthi7 of Borg
Stephanie's a great columnist..I have grown to love her over the
years. I thought this particular column deserved a wider audience.
---
Let's secede from those who breed,
Make it sin to *not waste seed!
---
The Final Testament, a Bible by and for Gays only:
http://members.xoom.com/ezekielk/
GodHates...@HetBeGone.com
Ezekiel Krahlin
wrote:
>thanks ezekiel.as it says one brave man.
The priest in Stephanie's column is an example of what spiritual
leaders really *should be! Too bad they are too few and far between.
Yet, when truth is spoken, it sounds like a rich bell, sweet music to
ears not buried in wax.
Speedbyrd :>
Krahlin) wrote:
>On Sat, 19 Sep 1998 18:34:55 GMT,
>star7cy...@ecch.spam.lycosmail.com (T'Pring AKA Darthi7 of Borg)
>wrote:
>
>>Thanx muchly, Zeke -- this one put a slight smile of irony on my face.
>>It would happen. People can be so stupid sometimes. Kudos.
>>
>>--Darthi7 of Borg
>
>Stephanie's a great columnist..I have grown to love her over the
>years. I thought this particular column deserved a wider audience.
>
>
>---
>Let's secede from those who breed,
>Make it sin to *not waste seed!
>---
>The Final Testament, a Bible by and for Gays only:
>http://members.xoom.com/ezekielk/
>GodHates...@HetBeGone.com
>---
>Charles Schulz's lawyers are after my ass
>for my gay-rights parody of Peanuts!
>http://www.2xtreme.net/jwd/k6/copyrite.htm
Hi Zeke,
Apparently you and I have 'fallen from grace' with some kook who sent
me this wild email last night. A real loser, but it gave me a
chuckle all the same. Just wondering if he shared with you.
Ezekiel Krahlin
:>) wrote:
>Apparently you and I have 'fallen from grace' with some kook who sent
>me this wild email last night. A real loser, but it gave me a
>chuckle all the same. Just wondering if he shared with you.
No, I have yet to receive his e-mail, if ever. Do share the
gossip...either in this thread, or via a private message to me. Your
choice. Thanks, Speedbyrd! (Cute handle, by the way: how did you come
up with it?)
co...@pride.de
Du bist also interessiert an geiler, getragener Wäsche!
Zunächst möchte ich mich vorstellen!
Nenn mich Mec!
Ich bin 21, 180 groß, betreibe Schwimmsport, bin unbehaart, habe
dkl-blondes kurzes
Haar und braune Augen achja ich trage einen 3-Tagebart. Ich wichse
gerne und
besonders reizvoll und geil finde ich es an Orten, wo man mich
beobachten und
erwischen könnte z.B. im Schwimmbad unter der Dusche, im Auto wenn ich
durch
die Stadt fahre oder in Umkleidekabinen. Natürlich auch Zuhause im
Bett.
Auf den nächsten Seiten gibt es Bilder von mir sowie mein
Angebot mit Bildern an Dich!