*F* Karen K's Birthday Meet Report (Alpha1)
Alex the Eternally Harassed
The Prologue
------------
Arrangements were made that the attendees would meet Karen and Paul
outside the Odeon, Leicester Square at 1:30. Everyone was on time, with
the exception of KAren, Paul and A.N.Other[1] and the tickets for
Independence Day.
The Cast
--------
Karen Kroisdyugfjksdghsdf as The Vodka Vixen
Karen Ksdfhmgklsdfjhjkdg's Friend as A.N.Other
Paul 'A' Rood as A tub of custard
Alien as Himself
Mrs Alien (+ attached podling) as Themselves
Rob Collier as A non-cabal non-member
Adrian Wragg as Macauley Culkin's stand-in
Alex as Harassed as he normally is
Kat as The feline of the species
Colette Reap as The net.Goddess
Alan Bellingham as The Bellinghman
Susan Cooper as Simon Callan
Darrell as Our token Fluffy one
Emmet O'Brien as The Emmet
Emmet's Krisma as Itself
Ivis as The Token Merkin
Someone else as Someone whose name we forgot.
plus a strong supporting cast, and One Thousand Elephants!
Meet report production by Alex TEH, Adrian and Rob.
Casting by Sheer Chance.
Executive Director, Alex TEH.
Scene 1 - The Cinema
--------------------
[Outside the Odeon, Leicester Square]
1:30 pm, various people assemble outside said cinema, to meet up and see
Independence Day. All but two are present - those that hold the key to
the film, the TICKETS!
[Much later that same day]
1:50 pm, and finally the Tickets have arrived, closely followed by Paul,
Karen Khekasfgjs, plus Friend. Despite attempts at consolation, our own
Alien was devastated by the film, which showed, in graphic detail, the
destruction of his own clan - the cries of "Daddy" from him at one point
brought the whole theatre to tears...
Following the destruction of most of the civilised world, plus the White
House, it was food time....
Scene 2 - New World
-------------------
A minor reprise of DWCON occurred when 16 AFPers descended on an
unsuspecting Chinese eatery[2] and food with an oriental bent was
consumed - with much moaning by Kat about how she had to get to
Tottenham Court Road to buy some stupidly expensive piece of graphics
technology for her PC and how she wanted some beer (Hands up all those
who are surprised by the latter of these statements?)
Scene 3 - Central London
------------------------
[Later that same day]
The meal over, we decide to make our way to a nearby pub that someone
claims to know.
Scene 4 - Another bit of Central London
---------------------------------------
[Cast walks across scene]
Scene 5 - Yet Another bit of Central London
-------------------------------------------
[Cast admires City of London from Embankment, whilst wondering where the
pub actually is.]
Scene 6 - The bit of central London as seen in Scene 4
------------------------------------------------------
Finally, the pub. Of course, we hold no-one at all responsible for this
slightly disastrous piece of navigation...[3]
A pub. We drank. We talked. Nappies of at least one attendee were
changed on a pub seat, much to the minor horror of nearby bar staff.
Eventually, as time drew on, we moved onwards, this time to the
Trocadero...
Scene 7 - The Trocadero, Piccadilly Circus
------------------------------------------
...minus Kat. Who we wouldn't gossip about. Oh, no. Never. Because
there's nothing to gossip about. Right, Kat?
<insert effects of certain young-looking AFP lurker looking for
somewhere to hide out for a few years>
Whilst the majority of people stayed in the Virtual Worlds bar, *gasp*
drinking[4], a few of us more adventurous types headed out and to the
arcades. We'd change to scene 7a, but I'm with Rex Mundi when it comes
to running jokes.
Um, wrong newsgroup, sorry.
The All-AFP Air Hockey Championships resulted in the following:
1. Alex TEH
2. Darrell
3. Adrian
4. Rob
5 Paul "Brewery Piss-Up Organiser" Rood
Whereby, as revenge, Paul thrashed [each to their own, I guess] Alex at
Alien3 - The Gun. Karen, Paul, Alex and Karen's friend had a quick go
on the dodgems, attempting to take out the junior inhabitants of a
number of small Arab nations[5].
Scene 7a - Yet Another Pub
--------------------------
We moved on, as closing time fast approached, to - as the Scene title
suggests - Yet Another Pub, this one found with slightly more haste than
the last, and Karen Kgdhksdfh finally had the chance to enforce her
reputation of being the Vodka Vixen.
Eventually, with cries of When Shall We 9-ish Meet Again?, we all went
our separate ways...
The Epilogue (or, maybe, Epitaph?)
----------------------------------
Rob and Adrian proceeded to invade Alex's flat, take his computer, beat
him at Scorched Earth by a stupidly large amount several times [well,
Adrian did - Rob merely beat him by a sane amount], and then post meet
reports in Alex's name, without even having the decency to sleep at all
between leaving the meet and posting this the following morning.
Anyone wishing to exhume or otherwise brutalise, terrorise, or Harass
any of those involved in the production of this meet report, please form
an orderly queue.
Oh, and we lied about the elephants. We hired a hedgehog, but he
couldn't be buggered to turn up.
[1] Sorry Karen, none of us can't remember your friends name.
[2] Credit due to Adrian for knowing somewhere that *could* seat 16
people at short (i.e. zero) notice.
[3] Of course Paul is entirely blameless in this. The words "Brewery"
and "Piss-Up" never sprang to mind.
[4] Unfortunately not a drop of vodka to be seen, or indeed drunk.
[5] NOTE: NEVER DRIVE WITH PAUL (Road Rage? What road rage?)!!!!![6]
[6] Yes, that bad.
Alex TEH, Adrian, Rob.
--
Coming soon to a newsgroup near you...
... HIDE! as Kat shows the world what the claws can do ...
... GASP! as Paul manages to organise a brewery piss-up ...
... CHEER! as Karen shows what a scorned Kruzycka can do ...
... CRY! as the bunny finally gets it ...
Colette Reap
Al...@dial.pipex.com (Alex the Eternally Harassed) wrote:
>Scene 6 - The bit of central London as seen in Scene 4
>------------------------------------------------------
>
>Finally, the pub. Of course, we hold no-one at all responsible for this
>slightly disastrous piece of navigation...[3]
>
>[3] Of course Paul is entirely blameless in this. The words "Brewery"
> and "Piss-Up" never sprang to mind.
As a matter of fact, he is. In all good conscience, I cannot stand by
and let Paul take the blame for my suggesting we go a a pub on the
Embankment whilst forgetting which bit of the Embankment we were near
- ie the publess bit. As ppint once pointed out, even Jove nods...
...and sorry we didn't get to say goodbye to half the assembled group,
who were upstairs in the arcade when we decided that, having had a
long and tiring day, we needed to retire gracefully.
Many thanks to Karen for organising things - we thoroughly enjoyed the
day.
----
Colette
Karen Hanna Kruzycka
In article <3216ceb6...@newnews.dial.pipex.com>, Alex the Eternally
Harassed <Al...@dial.pipex.com> writes
>Arrangements were made that the attendees would meet Karen and Paul
>outside the Odeon, Leicester Square at 1:30. Everyone was on time, with
>the exception of KAren, Paul and A.N.Other[1] and the tickets for
>Independence Day.
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa *beats self contritely*
Actually, the Underground was a _nightmare_.
>Karen Ksdfhmgklsdfjhjkdg's Friend as A.N.Other
Oi! Her name's Kate, alright? She'd be very hurt. _And_, AFAIK, she
never harassed you _once_, Alex...
>Someone else as Someone whose name we forgot.
I think you mean The Elusive Chris Crowther. Last seen disappearing out
of a Chinese restaurant, having ordered a meal, never to return. You
were greatly missed, Chris, as was your eleven quid >:)
>1:30 pm, various people assemble outside said cinema, to meet up and see
>Independence Day. All but two are present - those that hold the key to
>the film, the TICKETS!
*mumble* You lot are _so_ picky :-)
>Whereby, as revenge, Paul thrashed [each to their own, I guess] Alex at
>Alien3 - The Gun. Karen, Paul, Alex and Karen's friend had a quick go
>on the dodgems, attempting to take out the junior inhabitants of a
>number of small Arab nations[5].
The dodgem ride was most enjoyable, but I still regret not getting a
chance at some serious crocodile-bonking.
<fx: stands back and awaits replies containing statements such as
*boggle*>
>Eventually, with cries of When Shall We 9-ish Meet Again?, we all went
>our separate ways...
I think we agreed to an Essex meet, almost certainly in Colchester, some
time in mid-September. Or maybe it was all just an awful dream... ?
>Rob and Adrian proceeded to invade Alex's flat, take his computer, beat
>him at Scorched Earth by a stupidly large amount several times [well,
>Adrian did - Rob merely beat him by a sane amount], and then post meet
>reports in Alex's name, without even having the decency to sleep at all
>between leaving the meet and posting this the following morning.
<sincerity>
It doesn't show.
</sincerity>
>Oh, and we lied about the elephants. We hired a hedgehog, but he
>couldn't be buggered to turn up.
Ahem. Have you forgotten the cute little 'edgepig that the Aliens gave
me? His name's Quentin, and he's lovely.
>[4] Unfortunately not a drop of vodka to be seen, or indeed drunk.
But _I_ was both. And I had a great time. Thanks to everyone who
turned up - yes, even Adrian :-)
--
************************************************************************
* Karen Hanna Kruzycka - The Vodka Vixen \ / *
* Vi...@lspace.org / Ka...@voltaire.demon.co.uk \ \ / / *
* khk...@essex.ac.uk - Colchester, UK \ \/ / *
* http://www.geocities.com/Paris/4422/ \ /\/ *
* Under construction - http://www.voltaire.demon.co.uk/ \/ *
************************************************************************
Alex the Eternally Harassed
On Sun, 18 Aug 1996 11:43:33 GMT, god...@lspace.org (Colette Reap) is
accused of heinously harassing one Alex Ridge and is hereby sentenced to
commit buggery with a hedgehog:
> Al...@dial.pipex.com (Alex the Eternally Harassed) wrote:
>
> >Scene 6 - The bit of central London as seen in Scene 4
> >------------------------------------------------------
> >
> >Finally, the pub. Of course, we hold no-one at all responsible for this
> >slightly disastrous piece of navigation...[3]
> >
> >[3] Of course Paul is entirely blameless in this. The words "Brewery"
> > and "Piss-Up" never sprang to mind.
>
> As a matter of fact, he is. In all good conscience, I cannot stand by
> and let Paul take the blame for my suggesting we go a a pub on the
> Embankment whilst forgetting which bit of the Embankment we were near
> - ie the publess bit. As ppint once pointed out, even Jove nods...
I would like to apologise on myself, Rob and Adrians behalf if anyone
took offence at this. It was meant in jest, not as a slur on Paul for
his excellent organisation of the DWCON. Paul - I hope no offence was
taken. None was meant.
Sorry.
Alex
--
Alex (TEH)
The bleeding south-bound Northern Line is still closed,
so no Kings Cross -> Mornington Crescent end game.
Harass me at Al...@dial.pipex.com or Al...@conduit.co.uk
http://dspace.dial.pipex.com/alexr/
Mr Alien X. Xenomorph
In article <4v6pv8$n...@soap.news.pipex.net>
pi...@cardinal.co.uk "Piers Forrest (at home" writes:
> Elsewhere and eslewhen in afp, and in afpa, Karen Hanna Kruzycka
> <Vi...@lspace.org> wrote:
>
> >We will then meet anybody who just wants to turn up for the evening in
> >the Virtual Worlds Bar at the Trocadero, at 7:30-ish.
>
> Let if be known that Piers Forrest publicly humiliated himself from
> 7:30 to 7:45 by introducing himself to every group of 5 or more in
> Marco's (there is no bar called Virtual Worlds in the Troc.) and
> another bar 30 yards away called 100% erm..erm..I can't remember,
> let's just call in 100% Not Marco's.
>
The Virtual World's Bar is in the basement of the Troc. It doubles as
a place to play Battletech :-)
> Then, from 7:45 to 8:15, Piers Forrest reduced (but only marginally)
> the humiliation by introducing himself only to those groups of 5 or
> more who could clearly be heard speaking English.
>
Obviously not VWB as there was at least one afper supposed to be there.
BTW Donal, did you enjoy your game of Battletech?
> Then, today Al...@dial.pipex.com (Alex the Eternally Harassed) (or
> those claiming to speak for him) wrote:
>
> >The Prologue
> >------------
> <snip>
> >Eventually, as time drew on, we moved onwards, this time to the
> >Trocadero...
>
> And what time d'you call this then?
>
In my defence, I did try and tell them ;-)
--
Alien Mail Gaz...@lspace.org for submissions to the Lspace Gazette.
Mail al...@lspace.org for t-shirt designs and prices.
Also available custom airbrushing and design for all.
Leather jackets from GBP75 (you provide jacket and design)
Donal Cunningham
"Mr Alien X. Xenomorph" <Al...@lspace.org> writes:
>> more who could clearly be heard speaking English.
> Obviously not VWB as there was at least one afper supposed to be there.
> BTW Donal, did you enjoy your game of Battletech?
Yes. I was accompanied by two novices, and was allowed to play exactly
one mission with them. After that I was barred from playing with them
because I am good at jumping up and down on the remains of large, well-armed
robots while piloting a large, well-armed robot. Adrian and Martin got
several games, since there were plenty of novice games. Standard games, at
my level, were rarer than a very rare thing. GRR! The u.m.t.s.b5 meet
was very good. Truffles were consumed, and deemed to get Good Things.
Oh, and we missed our flight back from Stanstead last night by the barest
of margins. It was the last flight. We spent a fun and entertaining
night making friends with the night crew of Stanstead Airport, drinking
my precious cherry juice and reading lots. I *wish* I was kidding.
I am off home (I'm in work) to get a shower and some VERY badly needed sleep.
Oh, I was in the throes of the umtsb5 meet at the time people would have
been in the Troc. Sorry I couldn't make it, but it sounds like ye all had
a ball. Maybe next time.
D.
--
Donal Cunningham http://ganges.cs.tcd.ie/dcnnnghm/
(No. 133 in the AutoSpoo...)
"You haven't changed." "You have. You've *devolved*."
Babylon 5 - "Soul Mates" - Londo and Timov
Andy Fawcett
In article <bORz0BAy...@voltaire.demon.co.uk>
Karen Hanna Kruzycka <Vi...@lspace.org> wrote:
> > Whereby, as revenge, Paul thrashed [each to their own, I guess] Alex
> > at Alien3 - The Gun. Karen, Paul, Alex and Karen's friend had a
> > quick go on the dodgems, attempting to take out the junior
> > inhabitants of a number of small Arab nations[5].
>
> The dodgem ride was most enjoyable, but I still regret not getting a
> chance at some serious crocodile-bonking.
>
> <fx: stands back and awaits replies containing statements such as
> *boggle*>
Nah, I saw somebody bonking crocs in Skegness on Sunday :-)
And in Felixstowe the week before...
And a fortnight before that...
And, I have to admit, I like bonking crocs too :-)
--
Andy Fawcett a.f.p. recipes (recip...@lspace.org)
http://www.afawcett.demon.co.uk/ send mail with subject 'send index'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five cent bagel.
Paul A Rood
In article: <3217410f...@newnews.dial.pipex.com> Al...@dial.pipex.com (Alex the Eternally Harassed) writes:
] I would like to apologise on myself, Rob and Adrians behalf if anyone
] took offence at this. It was meant in jest, not as a slur on Paul for
] his excellent organisation of the DWCON. Paul - I hope no offence was
] taken. None was meant.
When you have been insulted by the best, anything else just can't
make the mark.
--
Paul A Rood
Convention Chairman
Piers Forrest (at home)
Elsewhere and eslewhen in afp, and in afpa, Karen Hanna Kruzycka
<Vi...@lspace.org> wrote:
>We will then meet anybody who just wants to turn up for the evening in
>the Virtual Worlds Bar at the Trocadero, at 7:30-ish.
Let if be known that Piers Forrest publicly humiliated himself from
7:30 to 7:45 by introducing himself to every group of 5 or more in
Marco's (there is no bar called Virtual Worlds in the Troc.) and
another bar 30 yards away called 100% erm..erm..I can't remember,
let's just call in 100% Not Marco's.
Then, from 7:45 to 8:15, Piers Forrest reduced (but only marginally)
the humiliation by introducing himself only to those groups of 5 or
more who could clearly be heard speaking English.
Then, today Al...@dial.pipex.com (Alex the Eternally Harassed) (or
those claiming to speak for him) wrote:
>The Prologue
>------------
<snip>
>Eventually, as time drew on, we moved onwards, this time to the
>Trocadero...
And what time d'you call this then?
Piers (wondering what is the half-life of embarrassment).
--
Piers Forrest, Cardinal Computers Limited, London, UK
http://www.cardinal.co.uk
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
(Bill Gates, 1981)
Simon Callan
In article <3216ceb6...@newnews.dial.pipex.com>,
Al...@dial.pipex.com (Alex the Eternally Harassed) wrote:
> Scene 2 - New World
> -------------------
>
> A minor reprise of DWCON occurred when 16 AFPers descended on an
> unsuspecting Chinese eatery[2] and food with an oriental bent was
> consumed - with much moaning by Kat about how she had to get to
> Tottenham Court Road to buy some stupidly expensive piece of graphics
> technology for her PC and how she wanted some beer (Hands up all those
> who are surprised by the latter of these statements?)
One thing that got missed was Kat's depredations on the restaurants
cutlery. When she walked out of the restaurant, stuffed up the back of
her jump was four chopsticks.
After we were out of site of the restaurant, Kat revealed her crime and
involved me by forcing me to carry the proceeds of this.
However, she did not benefit from this misdemenour, as she left the
chopsticks behind when she left the Trocadero center :-)
Simon
--
-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.12
GCS d-(x) s+:+ a- C++(+++) UL++ P+ L++ E- W+(++) N++ K w$(--) M-- V- PS+
PE Y+ PGP- t+ 5++ X+ R- tv(+) b+++ DI++ D+ G e++ h+ r-- y z+(-)
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
.. Life shouldn't be an endless repetition of stale successes.
Piers Forrest (at home)
"Mr Alien X. Xenomorph" <Al...@lspace.org> wrote:
>In article <4v6pv8$n...@soap.news.pipex.net>
> pi...@cardinal.co.uk "Piers Forrest (at home" writes:
[...]
>> Let if be known that Piers Forrest publicly humiliated himself from
>> 7:30 to 7:45 by introducing himself to every group of 5 or more in
>> Marco's (there is no bar called Virtual Worlds in the Troc.) and
>> another bar 30 yards away called 100% erm..erm..I can't remember,
>> let's just call in 100% Not Marco's.
>The Virtual World's Bar is in the basement of the Troc. It doubles as
>a place to play Battletech :-)
<fx: red>
Aaaah.
>> Then, from 7:45 to 8:15, Piers Forrest reduced (but only marginally)
>> the humiliation by introducing himself only to those groups of 5 or
>> more who could clearly be heard speaking English.
<fx:redder>
I'll tell that to the security guard (who started to take an interest
in me at about 8:00) when I see him next.
--
Piers Forrest, Cardinal Computers Limited, London, UK
http://www.cardinal.co.uk
"There is no reason why anyone would want to have a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, Chairman and Founder, DEC, 1977
Matthe...@ansuz.sooke.bc.ca
Andy Fawcett writes:
>And, I have to admit, I like bonking crocs too :-)
are, that it does here? Bonking crocs, or hedgehogs, is not something
I'd want to attempt without a lot of protective gear. Actually, not
even then.
Andy Fawcett
In article <N8405165...@ansuz.sooke.bc.ca>
Matthe...@ansuz.sooke.bc.ca wrote:
> Andy Fawcett writes:
> >And, I have to admit, I like bonking crocs too :-)
>
> Um... I take it "bonk" doesn't have the same connotations where you
> are, that it does here?
It does. It has dual-meaning though :-)
> Bonking crocs, or hedgehogs, is not something I'd want to attempt
> without a lot of protective gear. Actually, not even then.
Don't blame you...
--
Andy Fawcett a.f.p. recipes (recip...@lspace.org)
http://www.afawcett.demon.co.uk/ send mail with subject 'send index'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is worth doing is worth overdoing.
Mark Lowes
On Mon, 19 Aug 1996 19:09:44 GMT, in <266552...@cmacloed.demon.co.uk>
Paul A Rood <Pa...@cmacloed.demon.co.uk> wrote.....
>In article: <3217410f...@newnews.dial.pipex.com> Al...@dial.pipex.com (Alex the Eternally Harassed) writes:
[...]
>] It was meant in jest, not as a slur on Paul for his excellent organisation
>] of the DWCON. Paul - I hope no offence was taken. None was meant.
>When you have been insulted by the best, anything else just can't make the
>mark.
Compilments won't save you from more of the same >:)
--
Mark <ham...@lspace.org> http://www.flyhmstr.demon.co.uk/
The Elendor MUSH Shire Home Page http://www.flyhmstr.demon.co.uk/shire/
The Flying Hamster Listserver : list...@flyhmstr.demon.co.uk
Some motoring accidents are caused by faulty mechanism, but more are caused
by a faulty nut at the steering wheel.
Random Companion
In article <N8405165...@ansuz.sooke.bc.ca>, Matthe...@ansuz.so
oke.bc.ca writes
>Andy Fawcett writes:
>>And, I have to admit, I like bonking crocs too :-)
>
>Um... I take it "bonk" doesn't have the same connotations where you
>I'd want to attempt without a lot of protective gear. Actually, not
>even then.
This sort of misunderstanding seems to make it into the press. Someone
provided a scene-by-scene breakdown of the new Doctor Who film, one line
per scene, to some UK tabloid. There is a scene in which the companion
(pretty female Doctor) whilst possessed by The Master hits the Doctor on
the head with something. This was described as "Grace bonks the Doctor",
which led to reports of a torrid love scene. In a film which actually
has three kisses, and not so much as a tongue in sight. (Though we did
get a *lovely* view of McGann's chest.)
--
Random Companion
Lines they *should* have written
"Why don't you use a cup like any other human being?"
"Because I'm half human. On my mother's side."
-Withnail and I
Johnathan Geoffrey HUGHES
Andy Fawcett (t...@lspace.org) wrote:
: In article <bORz0BAy...@voltaire.demon.co.uk>
: Karen Hanna Kruzycka <Vi...@lspace.org> wrote:
: > [lots of discussion about various things snipped] crocodile-bonking.
: >
: > <fx: stands back and awaits replies containing statements such as
: > *boggle*>
: Nah, I saw somebody bonking crocs in Skegness on Sunday :-)
: And in Felixstowe the week before...
: And a fortnight before that...
: And, I have to admit, I like bonking crocs too :-)
Here in Australia, we prefer to bonk crabs. How much do you have to pay to
bonk crocodiles over in the UK? :-)
: --
: Andy Fawcett a.f.p. recipes (recip...@lspace.org)
: http://www.afawcett.demon.co.uk/ send mail with subject 'send index'
: --------------------------------------------------------------------------
: What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five cent bagel.
--
Johnathan G. Hughes Esq mailto:jhu...@hardy.ocs.mq.edu.au
http://hardy.ocs.mq.edu.au/~jhughes
"Do you think picking someone up by the ankles and bouncing their head on the
floor comes under the heading of Striking a Superior Officer?"
-Constable Carrot, "Guards! Guards!"(c) Terry & Lyn Pratchett, 1989
Random Companion
In article <4vitra$g...@sunb.ocs.mq.edu.au>, Johnathan Geoffrey HUGHES
<jhu...@hardy.ocs.mq.edu.au> writes
>
>Here in Australia, we prefer to bonk crabs.
I would imagine bonking people with crabs would be somewhat less
popular, though.
--
Random Companion
"BEMness is a state of mind."
-Jon Blum