[Sith War 2002] Deathsticks and Sandcrawlers

[Rainbow Heron]

"What's that Chinese taxi doing here?!" Gumby squeaked. "I don't
remember Chinese taxis!!!"

Ianpuff: "Uh-oh. Spoilers."

Gumby tried to shield its eyes from the spoiler but it was too late-
"Let's ride it!!!!!"

Everyone cheered and piled into the "chinese taxi" and rode around Mos
Eisley for a bit until finally they spotted the Cantina.

"Last one in's a rotten egg!!!!" Hamillpuff screamed and jumped from
the moving rimshaw. Gumby and the Pokemon raced into the cantina and
all crashed into each other behind Hamillpuff -who had gotten there
first- at the top of the stairs.

All over the Cantina were fans who'd all just seen the movie and were
shouting their reviews to no one in particular and deliberately
trolling each other just to get an on-topic discussion going. Spoilers
abounded. Even the Bith band was playing that music from Dexter's
Diner.

"Spoilers! My eyes!" Gumby cried. PeterPika jumped onto Gumby's head
and pushed its hanky hat over its eyes. "Looks like you three get to
ride for a while longer. You take the desert, we'll take the city,"
Seanpuff suggested.

Hot ROddish led Darth Gumby and PeterPika back to the Chinese taxi
rickshaw thingy and rode off, while the 'Puffs scanned the Cantina.

============

The 'Puffs milled around a bit but had no luck until they nearly
stepped on a large white centipede.

"Ew! Disgusting! Lemme hold it!" Ewanpuff and Hamillpuff fought over
it for a minute until the centipede got upset and Ianpuff intervened
to calm it down. "Looks like a centipede, acts like a scorpion,"
Seanpuff informed them. They decided to try the bar next and ordered
some interesting-looking blue whiskey.

"Wanna buy some deathsticks?" Elan Sleazebaggano asked Ewanpuff. "No I
don't like you either. F*ck off, go home, and rethink your life!"

"Sure! I'll try one!" Hamillpuff gladly traded the centipede for the
deathstick. The others crowded around Hamillpuff. "Know what it is?"
asked Ianpuff. "Nope."

They asked Elan: "Do *you* know what this is?"

"Uh............nope."

Seanpuff jumped onto the guy's head and screamed into the crowd: "DOES
ANYBODY HERE KNOW WHAT A DEATHSTICK IS?!?!"

The music stopped and everyone turned to look. For a few moments no
one answered until a table of speculators decided to start a debate on
the subject, while everyone else ignored them.

Suddenly a group of prop builders picked up Seanpuff to see if they
could use him to build a spider droid and thus caused a mini-brawl
around the bar area. Above the din, Ianpuff managed to yell "Sith War
business, go back to your drinks!!!" and the cantina resumed.

============

"Pika-a?" "Oddish oddish od-DISH!"

Gumby couldn't speak Pikachu or Oddish, but was picking up on the
voice inflections pretty well. Of course, all that time in the
chatting and emailing certainly helped too.

"Oh yeah, that's when we were thin, before we were enlightened!!!"
Gumby was trying hard to explain why the weight gain, but found their
confused facial expressions just too cute and have them a BIIIIIIG
squeeze-hug.

The two confused Pokemon (one on each side of Gumby's head) tried to
talk it out in a "Pikoddishchuchudishpikaoddhupikaoddchuishpika"-
sounding jibberish conversation until Gumby spotted the large group of
Jawas they had been looking for.

"There they are!!! Utinni!!!" Gumby stood up and waved. The Jawas
turned to look, but no one said anything else. "Sorry, that's the only
one I know," Gumby shrugged and frowned. The Jawas went back to their
jabbering. PeterPika and Hot ROddish listened to them for a minute and
then tugged on Gumby's pant leg for its attention.

PeterPika stood before Gumby and started making weird gestures. "OH!
Are we gonna play charades?!"

"[Yep!]" PeterPika smiled as he began:

PeterPika pointed at Gumby. "Me?"
"Pika!" PeterPika nodded
"Okay, me..."
PeterPika put one finger in between his lips and moved them up and
down in a "bedebedebedebede" sort of way and then pointed back to the
Jawas.
"But I don't know any more Jawaspeak!"
PeterPika shook his head and did the "bedebedebedebede" again.
"You want me to go up to the Jawas and go 'bedebedebedebede'?"

After a few moments of uncontrolled giggling, PeterPika and Hot
ROddish picked themselves up and looked to see that Darth Gumby had
actually gotten out of the rickshaw and was going "bedebedebedebede"
to the Jawas.

Hot ROddish got Gumby's attention and drew "jabber and gesture back at
them" in the sand. "OH! That's easy!!!" Gumby said and did so. This
time it actually got a real conversation going with the Jawas.

============

Gumby and the Jawas were still talking up a storm by the time the
Jigglypuffs had managed to escape the majorly spoiled and now-snoozing
Cantina and then comb the outskirts for the others.

Seanpuff's hat had gotten wet by some spilled blue whiskey and wringed
it out, "Sheesh, you'd think raising an army would be easy."

"I knew the maintence guys wouldn't go along with it," Ewanpuff
brushed some Doritos out of his hair. "But I thought surely those cute
bounty hunter twins would!"

"I STILL don't know what this thing is," Hamillpuff held up the
deathstick.

"Might be useful, here let me keep it." Ianpuff took it, intending it
for the little bag with the boomers and Zam Wessel figure.

"Hey lookit! Gumby's Jawa chatting!!!" Hamillpuff pointed and ran
towards it.

"Hey lookit! A clone army!!!" Ewanpuff pointed and stared.

"Yeah right, 'heh heh heh'. Don't start that now." Seanpuff put his
semi-dry hat back on.

"No, serious, there's an army of fat people who all look alike headed
this way! Like straight for us, dude?" Ewanpuff insisted.

The C'Pi clone army -each with their own custom Penis Gourd 9000-
walked straight up to the 'Puffs and saluted.

Ianpuff gaped and then burried his face in his hands. "A clone
army...just when we're needing one. How convenient."

The army trailed the 'Puffs over to Gumby, PeterPika, Hot ROddish, and
the Jawas. Gumby nearly keeled over when it saw the army. "C'Pi?!
Great Porkins what happened?"

"The Great C'Pi is dead. The Archon sent us to help you rescue this
Alice. I don't suppose you have anything to eat?" The head C'Pi said
before its tummy grumbled.

"No, but could we at least give you another name since y'all are like,
clones and all?" Hamillpuff asked.

"Uh....sure."

"How about C'Pie?" Ewanpuff grinned.

"Pie....Hmmmmmmmmm"

"Well, I guess that answers everything then! We all set up here guys?"
Seanpuff confidently asked Gumby. "Uh, yeah! This group says there's
another 4 or 5 more we could borrow way out there," it pointed.

"Wonderful! I hope there's enough room in those Sandcrawlers for all
of us." Ianpuff sized up the army and compared it to those of the
Jawas.

"No, it doesn't answer everything," Hamillpuff frowned. "We still
don't know what a deathstick is!"

============

That was the 95th Gamer store Alice had been in and still no one had
seen her Pokemon anywhere. She was fully cured by now, but the homing
beacon on her wrist had lost contact with the ship due to a frequency
change and she was beginning to panic.

She was worried that if she walked into yet another bar, that she'd
end up in a cell due to how many guys she'd had to fend off. It was
always harder to do things in a bar when she don't have the Pokemon
around.

Alice ran into an Internet cafe and asked one of the waitress droids
if they'd seen her Pokemon. It was *very* surprised.

"Damn honey that's quite a lot of people you've been losing today!"

"Please just tell me if you've seen them."

"Yeah! As a matter of fact they were here a few hours ago. Left when
one of those Porkinites came out and into the street. Had suspenders
and a hanky hat-"

"DARTH GUMBY?!?!" Alice screamed with a large smile.

"Yeah honey, but I wouldn't go messing with that group if I were you.
they took off down that way."

Alice was happy that her Pokemon were safe with a friend. She thanked
the droid and headed out.

"Glad you finally found someone you were missing."

"Finally?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, weren't you also in here about 15 mintues ago looking for
someone named Alice?"

============

The Sandcrawlers were just rolling out of the Dune Sea and back
towards RASSM City when a call came in to the Jump-DMC. Seanpuff had
to shoo some Jawas away from the ship to get to it.

"Hello, Carroll's Disc Jockey Society. Parties, Weddings, and-"

"It's okay Seanpuff it's me."

"JEDICHU!!!! It's about time we heard from you! What the hell is going
on over there?!?!"

"Well, the droids have been defeated, and strangely Hacker's ships
have been completely silent for the past few weeks, until we monitored
a small craft being jettisoned just a couple days ago. Hacker then
left as well. We've done a thourough scan of the area and he has
indeed completely left our system. We traded our guys in and out to
build that specialized army just in case he decides to come back."

"Does he still have Alice with him? Is she alright?" Gumby leaned into
the ship and called into the receiver.

"Who's that? You know the rules, no visitors!" Jedichu got defensive.

"That's Darth Gumby ya Strict Sandlash!" Ewanpuff yelled at the
monitor.

"Oh- Hi GUMBY!!!!"

"Hi JEDICHU!!!!"

"Listen, Jedichu," Seanpuff regained control of the communications.
"If Hacker's left our system, then he's most likely back on RASSM.
We've got ourselves one heck of an army here so we're ready for
action!"

"Good! Did you get the new arrival?"
"What new arrival?"
"The new volunteer Pokemon I transferred to the trunk! If you're gonna
go up against Hacker, then you'll need this one for sure."

Ianpuff crawled into the trunk and reemerged with the new Pokeball.
"This one?" he called as he opened it up.

*POOCK!-fooosh*

"Wow! What kind of a Pokemon is THAT?!" Gumby marveled.

"Victory," Seanpuff marveled as well. "I'm not gonna ask where it's
from."

"Don't worry, Alice got this one herself a while back- you just don't
remember. Hey what's that noise I'm hearing in the background anyway?"
"Sandcrawler."
"Oh good gracious. Please tell me you're not-"
"Nononono they're just transportation. We've got an army of clones."
"Oh good gracious. Please tell me you didn't-"
"Oh no, they're all clones of one of Gumby's Porkinte friends."

"He's DEAD!" Gumby wailed.

The 'Puffs offered Gumby a new box of Puffs as it mourned its friend.

"Oh no I'm so sorry Gumb," Jedichu offered. "Well, do you think you'd
need me there? Would it be a big inconvenience for y'all to pick me
up?"

"Probably too much trouble, yeah. We can handle this one I think."

"Alright...do what you must, Seanpuff. Then May The Force Be With You
all! Signing off no-"

"WAIT!" Hamillpuff broke in, "Do you know what a deathstick is?"
"Now that's something I know something about."

"GREAT! Which is...?"

"Absolutely nothing."

============
SUMMARY:

-The C'Pie Army the Archon sent has rendezvous'ed with Gumby and the
Pokemon
-Everyone, including the Jump-DMC itself are inside one of many
Sandcrawlers heading towards RASSM City
-Alice is cured and knows that DG and the Pokemon are together
-The Replicant Alice has already been searching for Alice but
obviously hasn't found her yet
-Jedichu contacted the others and they have the new volunteer Pokemon
with them

-No one knows what a deathstick is
============

Neither do I, but I think that if it's something you smoke, it'd
probably be more like a joint.

-Rainbow Heron
(sig doesn't wanna find out what a deathstick is by firing it up)

Might even explode- who knows?
==========================================
http://web.infoave.net/~rkanderson/rassm/swc.htm
Rainbow Heron's Sith War Characters Page
http://web.infoave.net/~rkanderson/rassm/sw2002.htm
The Sith War 2002 Archives
==========================================
Who needs kids when you've got Pokémon?!