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The Joy of Jollibee.

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James Kibo Parry

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Jan 17, 2002, 7:05:56 PM1/17/02
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[Warning: The part after "-- K." _will_ make you vomit.]

By now I've eaten at most of the major fast-food chains in the
United States. People who travel abroad often marvel at the minor
differences they encounter when eating lame American fast food
overseas (as in the brilliant speech about French Big Macs in
"Pulp Fiction") but there aren't any fast-food restaurants in
the U.S. which came from overseas, so here in the good ol' U.S. of A
we can't experience American perversions of foreign fast food.

Except... for Jollibee. Jollibee has invaded California.

And I wandered into one! YAY! I ATE AT JOLLIBEE!

Jollibee -- whose mascot is a jolly bee -- is a Filipino fast-food chain.
They are apparently to the Philippines what McDonalds is to the
United States. So, if you were Filipino, as a child you could scream
"Mommy, the giant red bee scares me!" instead of "Mommy, Ronald McDonald
scares me!" And instead of "Mommy, why is that scary clown wearing
yellow Hitler pants?" you could ask "Mommy, why is that bee wearing
a bow tie and chef's hat and no pants?"

Most of the menu items at a real Jollibee in the Philippines are
of foreign origin (hamburgers, fried chicken, and spaghetti) plus a
few native Filipino dishes (such as palabok -- more about that later.)
For some reason, Jollibee decided that not only did Americans need
Filipino fast food, but that we should get Americanized versions
of the Filipino versions of American fast food. So, it's as if
the menu got translated to Tagalog and back. Except for the parts
of it that are still in Tagalog. Or Spanish.

Jollibee menu items include:

* Chicken Joy Dark and Chicken Joy White (in the Philippines,
it's spelled "Chickenjoy") which is plain old KFC-style fried
chicken served with brown gravy. Chicken Joy has its own logo,
which is a smiling chicken with a spherical head and a mustache.

* Spaghetti, which appears to be topped with the wrong kind of cheese.
Even I know you're not supposed to put bright orange cheddar on spaghetti.

* Hamburgers, both regular and Hawaiian-style (with pineapple and ham.)
In the Philippines, burgers are usually topped with sauerkraut, but
the American Jollibee restaurants don't do sauerkraut.

* Miniature fried spring rolls, which are "Shanghai Rolls",
"Shanghai Lumpia", or "Shanghai Lumpiang" depending on which
piece of literature you're reading. These have ground pork and
shrimp in them and come with sweet and sour dipping sauce.

* And the famous Palabok Fiesta. It's a Tagalog word nailed to a
Spanish word. And it must be one of the weirdest fast-food menu items
available in the United States. It's not bad (it's not great, but
it's not bad) but you have to admit, it's very different from what
you could get at McDonalds.

The American Jollibee version of the Palabok Fiesta is a boxed hot meal
made from a layer of rice noodles (think transparent spaghetti) topped
with lots of salmon-colored sauce, chopped green onion, barbecued pork bits,
a big pile of tan crunchy stuff, and a couple of slices of hard-boiled egg.
The tan crunchy stuff was easy to identify -- it was crumbled-up pork rinds.
The combination of the crispy sawdust with the salmon-colored goop was an
odd contrast. The salmon-colored goop itself was difficult to identify,
but I finally decided it must be artificial pork gravy of some sort, as
it tastes a lot like salty pork bouillon.

In the Philippines, Jollibee Palabok Fiesta has pork plus a few shrimp in
it, but they leave the shrimp out of the American version. (Someone must
have been thinking "I'm sure they'll love palabok once we leave out the
shrimp!") The gravy is presumably that pinkish-orange color because in
normal palabok it would be pork-and-shrimp gravy. Every palabok recipe
I've seen requires both pork and shrimp. But I couldn't taste any
shrimpiness in the American version, so I guess it was an all-pork
Palabok Fiesta.

To drink, Jollibee offers the usual line of colas and stuff, plus their
specialty, four flavors of Pearl Cooler. (Pearl Coolers have a different
silly English name in the Jollibees in the Philippines.) However, they
still haven't figured out how to translate the Tagalog names of the flavors
for the American customers -- American Jollibees offer the Ube Pearl Cooler
(which is lavender), the Buka Pandan Pearl Cooler (which is green),
the Melon pearl Cooler (which is orange), and the Mocha Pearl Cooler
(I'll let you guess the color of that one.) I had the Ube Pearl Cooler,
which didn't taste like artificial grapes or artificial blueberries, so
I guess "ube" means purple taro root, a popular flavor in Asia despite
it having no flavor. A Pearl Cooler is a coconut milkshake (very similar
to a McDonalds shake with some coconut flavoring) which comes with a
super-thick straw that you could suck objects the size of M&Ms through.
This is necessary because the Pearl Cooler contains objects the size of
M&Ms. They are brown wads of gummi caramel which hover near the bottom.

(I didn't have the Buka Pandan Pearl Cooler, but it would taste like
bananas, because artificial pandan leaf juice tastes exactly like
artificial bananas.)

I don't know how the giant red bee in the chef's hat makes the Pearl Cooler --
maybe he spends half the day peeling Milk Duds -- and I certainly don't know
why he thought coconut shakes needed chewy eyeball-like surprises.

You can have your kids' birthday party at Jollibee with a choice of party
themes. One of them is a zoo theme, where I guess they show kids all sorts
of exotic animals on their way into the kitchen. Jollibee can also cater
your Superbowl party, delivering a giant tray of Palabok Fiesta (a visit
by the giant bee is an extra $35.)

It's a lot of fun saying "Buka Pandan Pearl Cooler" and "Chicken Joy Dark"
and other phrases that sound way too exotic and awkward for McDonalds.
My favorite example of awkward English was on the comment card, where
I was asked if the Jollibee restaurant smelled

[_] BAD [_] NOT BAD

Unfortunately, they didn't have a nutrition/ingredients poster on display,
so I didn't get to find out the Tagalog word for "crushed-up pork rinds".
But at least now you know what to do with the pork rind dust at the bottom
of the bag: Make palabok to put under it. Don't forget the boiled egg.

So, anyway, there are eight of them in California now, and they'll
quickly spread across the country if Americans decide they like
shrimpless palabok and coconut shakes with brown snot in them.
Otherwise, you'll probably never see a Jollibee unless you live near
one of the magic eight. (I blundered into the one south of Los Angeles,
in Long Beach -- it's on Long Beach Avenue at Willow Street, which is
the Willow stop on the Blue Line. Note: Long Beach Avenue is not
the same as Long Beach Highway.) You'll know you've spotted a Jollibee
if there is a six-foot-tall red bee out front who looks like he enjoys
pork more than shrimp.

-- K.

At the same time Jollibee opened their
first American location, the government
of Thailand announced they were going
to open a chain of ONE THOUSAND Thai
fast-food places in the U.S. That doesn't
seem to have happened (I'd probably have
noticed.) This is good because the
single scariest food item I have ever
seen came from Thailand. More on that
later, talking about it now would involve
opening a whole can of worms. I'm on an
airplane right now, and I don't think
the other passengers would enjoy the
aroma of p*ckl*d c*t*rp*ll*rs. Eww!

It even has a pull tab just so I COULD
open it any time, anywhere! EWWWWWWWWW!!!

Passenger Pigeon

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Jan 17, 2002, 7:34:23 PM1/17/02
to
In article <kibo-17010...@ppp0b148.std.com>, ki...@world.std.com
(James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:

> [Warning: The part after "-- K." _will_ make you vomit.]
>
> By now I've eaten at most of the major fast-food chains in the
> United States. People who travel abroad often marvel at the minor
> differences they encounter when eating lame American fast food
> overseas (as in the brilliant speech about French Big Macs in
> "Pulp Fiction") but there aren't any fast-food restaurants in
> the U.S. which came from overseas, so here in the good ol' U.S. of A
> we can't experience American perversions of foreign fast food.
>
> Except... for Jollibee. Jollibee has invaded California.
>
> And I wandered into one! YAY! I ATE AT JOLLIBEE!

my only standing memory of my grandmother on my mother's side is of her
telling us that as long as we were in the Philippines we should eat at
Jollibees, and then chanting "Jollibee, Jollibee, Jollibee! Shakey,
Shakey, Shakey!" while bouncing up and down.

IANMTU.

--
William Burke, passeng...@email.com if you say so
"Many people include in their signatures contact information, and perhaps
a joke or quotation." -- Simon Fraser Go Slugs!
http://www.passengerpigeon.net (not com, not org)

C Mason

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Jan 17, 2002, 7:35:20 PM1/17/02
to

"James "Kibo" Parry" <ki...@world.std.com> wrote in message
news:kibo-17010...@ppp0b148.std.com...

> [Warning: The part after "-- K." _will_ make you vomit.]
>
> By now I've eaten at most of the major fast-food chains in the
> United States.

Then you work is almost done.

[Interesting fast food reveiw snipped]

>
> -- K.
>
> At the same time Jollibee opened their
> first American location, the government
> of Thailand announced they were going
> to open a chain of ONE THOUSAND Thai
> fast-food places in the U.S. That doesn't
> seem to have happened (I'd probably have
> noticed.) This is good because the
> single scariest food item I have ever
> seen came from Thailand. More on that
> later, talking about it now would involve
> opening a whole can of worms. I'm on an
> airplane right now, and I don't think
> the other passengers would enjoy the
> aroma of p*ckl*d c*t*rp*ll*rs. Eww!
>
> It even has a pull tab just so I COULD
> open it any time, anywhere! EWWWWWWWWW!!!

On a recent visit to Bangkok I saw some of the culinary delights served by
street vendors. Large trays of fried grasshoppers, cockroaches, beetles and
something that was beyond by entomological skills to identify in cooked
form.

The locals ordered them by the bagfull specifying how many of each crusty
six-legged treat they wanted in their mix. I admit I didn't taste any of
them as sadly my diet excludes phylum arthropoda.

I also saw an ad for a restaurant in Cambodia which guaranteed no dogs,
cats, rats, snakes or earthworms were in any of their dishes.

Incidentally, and in spite of the implictions of that ad, Cambodian food in
general is delicious and in my opinion better than Thai which is pretty good
here in Austria. I heartily recommend to any seafood lovers Amok Fish
(sometimes spelled Hammock) which is a coconut flavoured seafood curry and
quite easily the most tasty of Cambodian dishes I tried. Sometimes it is
served in a coconut and you can enjoy the flesh of the nut after you finish
your yummy curry.

Bon Apetit,
maso


Nicko

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Jan 17, 2002, 8:42:50 PM1/17/02
to
C Mason wrote:

> and you can enjoy the flesh of the nut after you finish
> your yummy curry.
>

Dibs on the sig!

--
YOP...


James Kibo Parry

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Jan 17, 2002, 10:54:24 PM1/17/02
to
Passenger Pigeon (passeng...@email.com) wrote:

>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > YAY! I ATE AT JOLLIBEE!
>
> my only standing memory of my grandmother on my mother's side is of her
> telling us that as long as we were in the Philippines we should eat at
> Jollibees, and then chanting "Jollibee, Jollibee, Jollibee! Shakey,
> Shakey, Shakey!" while bouncing up and down.

I don't know how close the nearest Shakey's is to the Jollibee in
Long Beach, but I saw several Shakey's in Los Angeles and thought,
"Oh, great, I can eat at a place where the selling point seems to be
that the chef is spastic." Also, the signs say something like
"GREAT-TASTING DRIVE-THROUGH" at the bottom. Mmm! You can lick the
asphalt where the spastic chef threw all the food!

There was a Shakey's just down the street from the only Carl's Jr. Jr.
I saw. That's right, the restaurant was so small they had to put up
a repetitive sign. Which, of course, had to be extra-large to accomodate
the extra "Jr." to ensure we'd be aware that the restaurant was slightly
smaller than normal.

And that's the extent of the weirdly-named fast food restaurants I ate
at or avoided eating at in the past week.

-- K.

Brian Chase took me to a good
restaurant where they made me
drink out of a "Stargate SG-1" glass.

The food was good (I had chicken
stuffed with pork and veal) but
it's hard to swallow when the guy
who used to be MacGuyver is
staring at you from your glass.

James Kibo Parry

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Jan 17, 2002, 11:05:52 PM1/17/02
to
C Mason (char...@rhinodot.com.au) wrote:
>
> James "Kibo" Parry (ki...@world.std.com) wrote:
> >
> > [...] the single scariest food item I have ever seen came from Thailand.

> > More on that later, talking about it now would involve opening a
> > whole can of worms. I'm on an airplane right now, and I don't think
> > the other passengers would enjoy the aroma of p*ckl*d c*t*rp*ll*rs.
>
> On a recent visit to Bangkok I saw some of the culinary delights served by
> street vendors. Large trays of fried grasshoppers, cockroaches, beetles and
> something that was beyond by entomological skills to identify in cooked
> form.
>
> The locals ordered them by the bagfull specifying how many of each crusty
> six-legged treat they wanted in their mix. I admit I didn't taste any of
> them as sadly my diet excludes phylum arthropoda.

Yes, lots of cultures enjoy the taste of insects. Just look at those
things Howard Johnson's calls fried shrimp. But the thing is that
I didn't just encounter larvae, but canned pickled larvae. CANNED.
If I could find someone who liked pickled caterpillars, they would no
doubt say "Eww! CANNED pickled caterpillars are GROSS!"

Also, there is some question whether these caterpillars may once have
been President of the United States, because the can advertises them
as "CARTERPILLARS".

I submit to you that these canned pickled worms may be the grossest
food known to humanity, in terms of food some people actually like to
eat -- to make these any grosser you'd have to do something to them
that would cause even Thai people to recoil in horror. (Remember, they
like durians.)

> I also saw an ad for a restaurant in Cambodia which guaranteed no dogs,
> cats, rats, snakes or earthworms were in any of their dishes.

Big deal. I've eaten at VEGETARIAN restaurants! They have even less
interesting food!

I was at one that had "curried cream of wheat" as an entree...

> Incidentally, and in spite of the implictions of that ad, Cambodian
> food in general is delicious and in my opinion better than Thai which
> is pretty good here in Austria. I heartily recommend to any seafood
> lovers Amok Fish (sometimes spelled Hammock) which is a coconut
> flavoured seafood curry and quite easily the most tasty of Cambodian
> dishes I tried. Sometimes it is served in a coconut and you can enjoy
> the flesh of the nut after you finish your yummy curry.

Sounds good, except for the fish. Maybe Jollibee will get their hands
on the recipe and take all the fish out. I look forward to their
version of Howard Johnson's fried shrimp without the shrimp.

Oh, also from Thailand, I bought a bottle of artificial banana oil
which said "AMYL ACETATE" in big letters instead of "BANANA FLAVORING".
I guess it's for those chefs who know the chemical formulas for their
favorite foods but not what fruits they taste like.

-- K.

This was at a super-huge Asian market
(twice the size of the Super 88 or
any 99 Ranch) which had a whole aisle
just for "SPRING ROLL WARPS".

Bryce Utting

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Jan 17, 2002, 11:57:49 PM1/17/02
to
James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
> [Warning: The part after "-- K." _will_ make you vomit.]

surrrrrrre.



> Most of the menu items at a real Jollibee in the Philippines are
> of foreign origin (hamburgers, fried chicken, and spaghetti)

spaghetti burgers. ISA*G*N!

> This is good because the
> single scariest food item I have ever
> seen came from Thailand. More on that
> later, talking about it now would involve
> opening a whole can of worms. I'm on an
> airplane right now, and I don't think
> the other passengers would enjoy the
> aroma of p*ckl*d c*t*rp*ll*rs. Eww!

yum! (conspicuous lack of vomit.)



> It even has a pull tab just so I COULD
> open it any time, anywhere! EWWWWWWWWW!!!

yum! (STILL a conspicuous lack of vomit.) BUT: do they make
vomit-in-a-can?


(nb: any "yum!"s in this post are on behalf of my cat, who eats
crickets, wetas, chicken bones, and hair ties. *but they still
count*)


butting

Ted Frank

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Jan 18, 2002, 9:46:57 PM1/18/02
to
In article <kibo-17010...@ppp0b148.std.com>,

James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>there aren't any fast-food restaurants in
>the U.S. which came from overseas

El Pollo Loco.

Tim Horton's.

The International House Of Pancakes.
--
"This is one of the rewards of adulthood: not all your furniture consists
of laminate-clad formaldehyde-soaked wood chips that have been pressure-
formed, treble-glued and held together with pegs and godless European
screws." -- James Lileks

Ted Frank

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Jan 18, 2002, 9:57:41 PM1/18/02
to
In article <kibo-17010...@ppp0b154.std.com>,

James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>I don't know how close the nearest Shakey's is to the Jollibee in
>Long Beach, but I saw several Shakey's in Los Angeles and thought,
>"Oh, great, I can eat at a place where the selling point seems to be
>that the chef is spastic."

Hey! Sherwood "Shakey" Johnson got malaria In The Service Of His
Country! Not to be making fun of the dead.

http://www.epinions.com/rest-review-32AE-5C96BEF-3939C167-prod5

I think she gave it two stars to peeve my dad.

Ironically, the Shakey's website seems to be based out of the
Phillippines, where it seems to have a bigger following than it
(or Jollibee's) does here.

http://www.shakeyspizza.ph/history.htm

I tried to register for delivery, but they didn't have my city listed.

Message has been deleted

Joseph Michael Bay

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Jan 19, 2002, 1:49:25 AM1/19/02
to
m...@Radix.Net (Ted Frank) writes:

>In article <kibo-17010...@ppp0b148.std.com>,
>James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>>there aren't any fast-food restaurants in
>>the U.S. which came from overseas

>El Pollo Loco.

>Tim Horton's.

>The International House Of Pancakes.


Mexico, Canada, Switzerland. None of those are over*seas*
since the Atlantic is an OCEAN. DURRRR.

Burger King, however, is from England, which is why it's
not "Burger President". Because they have a constitutional
monarchy there. Fries are "chips" and a hamburger is called
"NNNNGGHH NNNNGHHH" while rolling your eyes and rubbing your
head against a surface.


--
Joseph M. Bay Lamont Sanford Junior University
Putting the "harm" in molecular pharmacology since 1998
When crime is outlawed, only outlaws will commit crimes.
LEGALIZE http://www.stanford.edu/~jmbay CRIME

Joseph Michael Bay

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Jan 19, 2002, 1:52:18 AM1/19/02
to
m...@Radix.Net (Ted Frank) writes:
t

>In article <kibo-17010...@ppp0b154.std.com>,
>James "Kibo" Parry <ki...@world.std.com> wrote:
>>I don't know how close the nearest Shakey's is to the Jollibee in
>>Long Beach, but I saw several Shakey's in Los Angeles and thought,
>>"Oh, great, I can eat at a place where the selling point seems to be
>>that the chef is spastic."

>Hey! Sherwood "Shakey" Johnson got malaria In The Service Of His
>Country! Not to be making fun of the dead.

>http://www.epinions.com/rest-review-32AE-5C96BEF-3939C167-prod5

I was confusing it with the happy fun-time bar and grill (from
The Simpsons) D.T. McShakey's.

Joseph Michael Bay

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Jan 19, 2002, 1:53:03 AM1/19/02
to
red <mol...@86thisearthlink.net> writes:

>In article <a2amn1$28v$1...@saltmine.radix.net>, m...@Radix.Net (Ted Frank)
>wrote:

>> The International House Of Pancakes.

()
>Also, The International House of Pierogies!

o

>and

>The International House of Lutefisk!

<_><

Kev In, Boyz Out

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Jan 19, 2002, 12:31:07 PM1/19/02
to
In article <a28a0c$lu3$2...@lust.ihug.co.nz>,
Bryce Utting <but...@ihug.co.nz> wrote:

>(nb: any "yum!"s in this post are on behalf of my cat, who eats
>crickets, wetas, chicken bones, and hair ties. *but they still
>count*)

Your cat eats wetas? But those things are full of Orcs! And Linux!

For those of us what aren't Kiwis, what is a weta? Other than a CGI
shop, I mean.

--
-keV

Poot Rootbeer

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Jan 19, 2002, 4:13:41 PM1/19/02
to
ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote:
> Oh, also from Thailand, I bought a bottle of artificial banana oil
> which said "AMYL ACETATE" in big letters instead of "BANANA
> FLAVORING". I guess it's for those chefs who know the chemical
> formulas for their favorite foods but not what fruits they taste
> like.

Or, for people who want the taste of a brand-new dental filling, only
in liquid form.

-Poot
Mmm, toothy.

Bryce Utting

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Jan 19, 2002, 8:11:37 PM1/19/02
to
Kev In, Boyz Out <kbo...@toad.net> wrote:
> Your cat eats wetas? But those things are full of Orcs! And Linux!

and yummy, crunchy goodness!



> For those of us what aren't Kiwis, what is a weta?

twenty bucks, same as in town.

> Other than a CGI shop, I mean.

OHHH, why didt'n you say so?

http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~butting/images/photos/babyweta.jpg

ain't it -cute-??? I found it on the pillows of a bed I'd made up for
some merkin visitors (anyone ELSE wanna come see sunny summery NZ?
huh huh huh???), and it was only -after- they'd gone that I realised I
should have introduced them to the ancient NZ custom of "any wildlife
found on your bed, you eat." duh.


butting

Kev In, Boyz Out

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Jan 19, 2002, 9:58:33 PM1/19/02
to
In article <a2d5g9$bv0$1...@lust.ihug.co.nz>,
Bryce Utting <but...@ihug.co.nz> wrote:

>Kev In, Boyz Out <kbo...@toad.net> wrote:
>> For those of us what aren't Kiwis, what is a weta?
>
>twenty bucks, same as in town.
>
>> Other than a CGI shop, I mean.
>
>OHHH, why didt'n you say so?
>
> http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~butting/images/photos/babyweta.jpg

Ah, looks like what we in murrica call earwigs. Only yours is a bit
longer of body, and stouter of spirit. (I'm guessing on that last bit.)

--
-keV

Bryce Utting

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Jan 20, 2002, 2:26:05 AM1/20/02
to
Kev In, Boyz Out <kbo...@toad.net> wrote:
>>OHHH, why didt'n you say so?
>>
>> http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~butting/images/photos/babyweta.jpg
>
> Ah, looks like what we in murrica call earwigs. Only yours is a bit
> longer of body, and stouter of spirit. (I'm guessing on that last bit.)

feh, 'course we have earwigs here. tiny little insignificant imported
furriner critters, skinny short body, squinty little legs, move about
as fast as an agitated ant and are about as much of a threat?

*wetas* are MEAN, VICIOUS, GIANT, BAD-TEMPERED BASTARDS. and we
-LOVE- 'em! full grown ones'll be probably two or three times the
size of the biggest cockroach/cricket/dung beetle/whatever merkins
think counts as significant. and they've got spiky clawy claw spikes
over their back legs (which can RIP the LIVER out of a GROWN SHEEP),
and big sharp pointy teeth^H^H^H^H^Hmandibles, run faster than some
things can fly, and are our only defence against the bloody possums
our wimpy cowardly neighbours dumped on us.

I labelled the picture *baby* weta. grown giant ones have been known
to take on tuatara. 'strue! Peter Jackson filmed two fighting when
he was a kid and was going to use the blown-up super-8 footage in his
King Kong remake. HA! let's see your so-called DANGER INSECTS do
THAT!!!!

scary fact: about a mile from here are a colony of *winged* weta,
lurking in the dark corners of Pukekohe Hill. my ex-boss's Burmese
catches 'em and eats 'em. yum.


butting

Kev In, Boyz Out

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Jan 20, 2002, 1:28:00 PM1/20/02
to
In article <a2dred$1l2$1...@lust.ihug.co.nz>,
Bryce Utting <but...@ihug.co.nz> wrote:

>Kev In, Boyz Out <kbo...@toad.net> wrote:
>>>
>>> http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~butting/images/photos/babyweta.jpg
>>
>> Ah, looks like what we in murrica call earwigs. Only yours is a bit
>> longer of body, and stouter of spirit. (I'm guessing on that last bit.)
>
>feh, 'course we have earwigs here. tiny little insignificant imported
>furriner critters, skinny short body, squinty little legs, move about
>as fast as an agitated ant and are about as much of a threat?

That would be them.

>*wetas* are MEAN, VICIOUS, GIANT, BAD-TEMPERED BASTARDS. and we
>-LOVE- 'em!

Well then, I thank the lord I never got attacked by any when I was
there. All I saw were cute fuzzy sheep. Sheep here, sheep there, it
was pretty much sheep everywhere. In the fields, on the roads, sneaking
into the fridge at night, clogging up the emergency rooms waiting for
liver transpants. (I was going to fix that typo, but it's funnier the
way it is.)

And this was only in the 200 meters between the Christchurch airport and
the Christchurch Airport Motel. Which was pretty much the limits of my
fun-filled 10-day excursion.

Fun fact: I have a magnetic "Sean the Sheep" (you remember, from "A
Close Shave") on my file cabinet at work. And my new big boss is named
Sean. Coincidence? AND, my magnetic sheep has never cut science
budgets in order to cover Space Station overruns, I'd just like to point
out in case Mr. O'Keefe is listening thankyou.

>scary fact: about a mile from here are a colony of *winged* weta,
>lurking in the dark corners of Pukekohe Hill. my ex-boss's Burmese
>catches 'em and eats 'em. yum.

I'd like to see what he does to sheep.

--
-Kev "on second thought, no" in

Bryce Utting

unread,
Jan 21, 2002, 12:34:15 AM1/21/02
to
Kev In, Boyz Out <kbo...@toad.net> wrote:
> And this was only in the 200 meters between the Christchurch airport and
> the Christchurch Airport Motel. Which was pretty much the limits of my
> fun-filled 10-day excursion.

yup. lots of sheep down there. haven't been there for ten years, but
that part of the country, there's ALWAYS lots o' sheep.



> Fun fact: I have a magnetic "Sean the Sheep" (you remember, from "A
> Close Shave") on my file cabinet at work. And my new big boss is named
> Sean. Coincidence? AND, my magnetic sheep has never cut science
> budgets in order to cover Space Station overruns, I'd just like to point
> out in case Mr. O'Keefe is listening thankyou.

I'd watch out for the big machine with huge great rollers and sharp
bits and flashing knives, if I were you.



>>scary fact: about a mile from here are a colony of *winged* weta,
>>lurking in the dark corners of Pukekohe Hill. my ex-boss's Burmese
>>catches 'em and eats 'em. yum.
>
> I'd like to see what he does to sheep.

I'd tell you, but it's pretty scary. otoh, it's not as much a
surprise to the sheep as what our Aussie neighbours get up to.


butting

Jeremy Cook

unread,
Jan 21, 2002, 9:32:55 PM1/21/02
to
Bryce Utting (but...@ihug.co.nz) spewed forth the following:

> Kev In, Boyz Out <kbo...@toad.net> wrote:
> > Your cat eats wetas? But those things are full of Orcs! And Linux!

> and yummy, crunchy goodness!
>
> > For those of us what aren't Kiwis, what is a weta?

> twenty bucks, same as in town.

> > Other than a CGI shop, I mean.

> OHHH, why didt'n you say so?

> http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~butting/images/photos/babyweta.jpg

Good lord! That's a BABY weka?? Looks like a mutant cricketon on a LOT of
steroids.

Bryce Utting

unread,
Jan 21, 2002, 11:47:33 PM1/21/02
to
Jeremy Cook <bl...@armory.com> wrote:
>> http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~butting/images/photos/babyweta.jpg
>
> Good lord! That's a BABY weka?? Looks like a mutant cricketon on a LOT of
> steroids.

WETA, not WEKA. Weka are birds. Weta are insects.

mind, weka are mostly harmless. y' want fun, park a car where a
family of kea (an alpine parrot) can go to work. aerials, hubcaps,
wipers, window trim, badges, anything; if you don't want it removed by
kea, don't leave it on your car. IANMTA.

anyone can have *dangerous* wildlife. we have *fiendishly clever*
wildlife.


butting

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