Zion TR: Lunatic Binge
Rex Pieper
by Rex Pieper
I've just finished a spooky and exposed pitch that ascended a section
of extremely hollow flakes. The belay is 30' to the left and around a
corner, but here I am atop a foot-wide ledge hauling off a single pin.
I'm backed up with a fixed line to the belay, but like I said, that's 30
feet away. If this drilled angle fails, I'll go for a big swing across a
serrated arete with the pig strapped to my waist. Yeehaw. Thankfully
Olevesky knew what he was doing when he placed this baby.
::: I hope, I hope :::
The pig has arrived and Keath begins to clean the pitch. Now we both
are relying on the single pin to hold us and the haulbag. I don't like
this, but what can I do? Nothing.
Instead I again question my sanity for climbing this route. Once
Keath arrives, we'll have to hand shuttle the bags across this narrow
ledge to the anchors. Normally an oddity, this will be our third
instance of horizontal baggage handling on the route. What was Ron
drinking when he envisioned this line? What was I thinking when I
suggested repeating his lunacy?
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My curiosity with "Sheer Lunacy" in Zion National Park began several
years ago when Brent Ware and I did an early clean ascent of "Lunar
Ecstasy" on Moonlight Buttress. Each route has a great perspective of
the other as they are facing for much of their paths, separated by
perhaps only 70 yards. Brent and I had watched two parties from
Colorado parallel us during our two days on Lunar X and we even
talked across the small divide. They said it was a pretty cool route.
The climbing looked good too, from what I saw during my belay
sessions, but then I must have been leading while they were doing
the horizontal baggage shenanigans. Otherwise, I might not have
considered trying to complete my Hat Trick of Moonlight Buttress
routes. But as they say, "Ignorance is bliss."
A brief window appeared in my schedule and I planned to take
advantage of it in Zion. Unable to line up a partner, I intended to solo
"Magic Carpet Ride" on Cerebrus. At the last minute my original wall
partner Keath Nupuf, who had been out of climbing for three years or
so, became available. I first suggested the "Original Route" on
Angel's Landing, but he wasn't up to it, so I brought up the C2 rated,
and much easier route "Sheer Lunacy." Keath made some comment
about the route name which essentially was, "Didn't we learn our
lesson about routes with names like that when we tried to climb the
vertical garden of Yosemite Pointless?" I dismissed his
apprehensions because I had seen the route and it looked pretty cool.
End of discussion. We'd keep the "Lowe Route" as a second choice if
"Lunacy" was a zoo. The technical climbing of "Lunacy" would be far
below my limit so we could concentrate on just having the break we
both desperately needed from reality.
We arrived in Zion on Friday evening, picked up our bivy permit at
the new Backcountry Desk and went to the parking lot to rack.
Unbelievably no tourons wandered by and we were done within an
hour or so. We humped our loads over to the new Tram stop and
boarded the bus. This was a new thing for the Park, just opening this
year and I'll have to say that all in all I like the change. The driver
was exceptionally helpful and asked us where we wanted to be
dropped off, even checking again at the last stop before we were to
depart. In fact, all the staff and Rangers at Zion were radically
different from the Nazis and Zombies that I'm used to in Yosemite.
We stopped right in front of my favorite little trail to the river and
crossed where Keath and I did for "Moonlight" years ago. The water
was running pretty swiftly. Somewhere in the 260 cu. ft./min range
and rising. We decided to split the loads into quarters and cross as
the canyon began to darken. I completed both of my carries and
waited on the shore as Keath brought his final load across, only to
stumble and go under water with the lead rope, his harness, and wall
boots. He tried to rise and stumbled under again. When he dipped in
the water for the third time, I became very worried. I felt quite
helpless 15 feet away from this drama. Thankfully he made it to
shore, but was none too happy about the concept of spending the next
few days in wet shoes and a wet harness. We dried off, broke out the
headlamps and hiked up to the base with our gear.
At the base we met two climbers who were attempting "Moonlight"
as their first wall. Team Virgin had two pitches fixed, but a party
headed onto "Lunar X" was firmly encamped at the top of Pitch One.
The poop was that Team X was none too speedy and none too willing
to be passed. I figured we'd see how it went, especially since we
only shared three pitches with "X" As it was, they didn't pose us any
problems, but they did cause some congestion with several parties
that came up the next morning. We weren't speed demons either, but
then we were on a seldom travelled line. I was a bit amazed at how
popular "X" had become and perhaps a bit saddened. Kathy Dicker told
me that Brent and I had turned it into a trade route after publishing
our beta and revised topo. Maybe we did. If so, I'm not sure how I feel
about that.
Morning came and we took our time getting going as Team X was still
in bed. Soon enough though they were on the move and I was ready to
lead Pitch One for the third time. The first timers asked me how hard
I thought the first pitch was. When I said 5.8, they got very, very
quiet. When we figured out that they had climbed the hard 5.10 direct
start we all had a good laugh. Team Virgin had taken the blow to
their egos in stride, but was relieved to learn that they were a bit
off route rather than just being light. I remembered Brent's face
when I showed him the *original* first pitch when we did "X." He was
a bit crestfallen to realize he hadn't suckered me into a hard lead and
then told me about that same scary 5.10 direct start he did climbing
"Moonlight" with Wendy Joseph.
Team Virgin bid their farewells, ascended their fixed lines and
hauled their bag without much problem. I figured they'd top out. With
some groups you can just tell who will and who won't summit.
I've got Pitch One pretty dialed now, so it went fast. Keath begged
off the lead for Pitch Two, especially since we had another party
heading up "Lunar X" and a soloist headed for "Moonlight" hot on our
heels. So after bringing up the bags I led Pitch Two for the first time
ever. Nice pitch. The placement that took a red Lowe Ball under the
roof has gotten a little bigger. I placed a Slider that's a little fatter
than the red but smaller than the blue Lowe Ball. Don't know what
others do there. Easy C1 on small cams and nuts lead to the belay
alcove. I didn't haul, since we were going to haul from the top of
Pitch Three as I had seen the Colorado Boys do a couple years ago.
The third pitch is a thrash, even the second time leading it. I did
virtually the same moves as before, including the hook move to get
me free from the corner for a moment. Although where I used a
brown tricam in a wide scar previously, this time I used a hand
placed Pika Toucan since we didn't have Brownie along. I have to
admit, every now and then Pika has an original idea that actually
works.
Pitch Four is where the lunacy really begins. The climbing is only 4th
class, but getting the haulbags across a 60' horizontal gap requires
rigging a Tyrolean Traverse on a fixed line. Keath has far more
experience with such rope tricks than I, so he took the lead in
coordinating the rigging after I had led the pitch and fixed the lines.
Thankfully, some kind soul had left a static line for use in rigging
the required Tyrolean. We used it to pull the load across the gap
while it slid along our fixed static line on a second pulley.
Our topo showed that this belay was actually midpitch and there was
a 30' 5.6, C0 crack yet to be climbed to the anchors and another
ledge. Keath finally volunteered for a lead, and even though this was
a really short and easy one, it was good to see him get on the sharp
end again. While he levitated across some shrubbery to the base of
the wide crack, I took another look at the large hanks of static line
fixed to the anchors at this midstation. There was a single rap ring
tied into all the tat and upon closer inspection I noticed it was
severely grooved. Many, many, many people have bailed from this
place.
Keath reached the top of the crack to find three drilled angles
leading around a big loose block. When he reached the end of those, he
wondered where to go next. He said it looked like it went straight up,
following a crack system. He could see fixed gear up there. I knew
that we had to traverse left again another 40' along a ledge system
to a far corner. That's what the Colorado Boys did. I began to
visualize the scenarios that forced so many retreats from this line.
Teams moving slowly, frustrating Tyrolean rigging, possibly getting
suckered offroute, a C2 rating that although not much harder than
"Moonlight" spoke nothing of the "pain factor" this route required...
the list is long. "Sheer Lunacy" guards her secrets well, especially
from those unprepared to suffer.
It was late afternoon and we began to discuss where we were going
to bivy. Keath couldn't see where we would put two portaledges and
a haulbag off of the fixed pins he was at and suggested we bivy at
the mid-pitch station. I wanted to get over to the main corner, since
I knew that we'd lose well over an hour in the morning getting the
bags up and over to the dihedral. So I decided to jug the line and take
a look at the far corner. Ultimately it was the right call. I climbed
over to the corner, found a single bolt anchor which I backed up with
two large stoppers and then placed the first piece on the next pitch
which I also incorporated into the belay. I fixed the lines, had Keath
fix his ends and I walked my way back to his belay with my daisys
attached to the fixed lines with carabiners. Keath rapped to the bag,
I hauled. We gutted the pig onto the fixed line and set up for the
night.
Keath set up his ledge in the far corner, and I took the fixed pins at
the right side. We enjoyed dinner together in the middle on a small
tabletop rock as the sky began to purple. Team X had been in their
portaledge up on "Farewell Ledge" since around 4 p.m. From the
sounds of their continual laughter all afternoon, they were
completely baked.
We had finished dinner and were just hanging out watching the
canyon settle down for the night when a climber popped up onto the
ledge above the Evil Chimney of Pitch 3. They were headed up "X" too.
We asked what became of the party that was behind us down lower,
and Mr. Sick (he would later fall ill) of Team Quick and Sick said
those guys bailed over onto "Moonlight" because they didn't want to
plod behind Team X. Sick went on to berate Eric Bjornstadt's topo
which sent them up the sucker crack above Pitch One. I had to smile.
Brent had told me a similar tale of his trip up "Moonlight" and that if
he ever meets Eric, he'll punch him in the nose. Sounds like that line
is getting pretty long. Sick fixed the line and dropped back down into
the alcove atop Pitch Two for the night.
We watched headlamps flicker on "Space Shot", "Prodigal Sun" and
something to the right ("Lost Angel"? "Ball and Chain"?). I marvelled
at how quiet the canyon was with the new bus system. Once they
stop for the night, the only visible humans in the canyon were
climbers. I felt a kinship with all these people. Bumblies and vets
alike. Those close by, and those who were nothing more than
twinkling fireflys of light over a mile away. We are the Clan of the
High Places. The Tribe of the Stone. In these days of continual
restriction on climbing it is refreshing to feel as if we climbers
had reclaimed our homeland, our sacred places, our happy hunting
grounds, and made them exclusively our own again...even if only for
the night.
We overslept in the morning when I ignored my 6 a.m. alarm, thinking
I could steal just 5 more minutes. It wasn't the end of the world. We
were going to be hard pressed to top out today anyways. I surprised
Keath by pulling two Cokes out of my food bag along with my
breakfast. He didn't hesitate to take the offered caffeine or the Pop
Tart. We repacked the bags on the opposite side of the narrow ledge
and I headed up into the severely overhanging arch that begins Pitch
Five.
Pitch Five, C2-, "The Primo Crack" lived up to it's name. It was long,
steep and thin and a lot of fun. There was chalk marks here and there
from recent free climbing activity. Sometimes I'm amazed at what's
being freed these days. Two hours later I reached the belay near the
second section of shrubbery that sprouted from the wall next to the
dihedral. My last placement was a totally open red Camalot placed in
a slot. Gotta love that! Two perfectly drilled angles and several
cracks that took just about anything I had left on my rack to add
made up the belay. Keath was pissed when midway through the pitch
he couldn't clean a blue Technical Friend. It was his. I felt bad,
knowing that it was my fault it's fixed. An offering for the booty
gods.
Keath reached my belay and said he was up for trying another lead,
and Pitch Six, or the "Second Crack" was his best bet at C1. It began
with some wide cracks that actually protect with small gear, then
tackled an arching thin crack for 100' to a small ledge. Thirty feet
up, Keath couldn't find a placement and wanted me to take over his
lead, claiming it was way over his head. I wouldn't let him off the
hook and told him he could do it, knowing that he really could do it
and that if he came down, he'd regret it. A few minutes passed, then
he tried one of my Hybrid Aliens, the offset ones. What had been
impossible in his mind, suddenly became reality. To which he
exclaimed, "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my
own eyes!" He's been out of climbing long enough to have missed the
whole Offset Revolution and he needed to add those pieces into his
bag of tricks. Once he did however, he settled down and finished the
lead, not in record time, but pretty good for someone just off the
couch. He still claimed it was harder than C1 though. Who knows? It
might be.
Far overhead I saw people on our line. They had rapped in and were
free climbing a few of the summit pitches and some line to the right.
I secretly hope they don't drop anything on us and began to clean
Keath's lead.
Team X and Mr.'s Sick and Quick climbed some of the tricky pitches
of "Lunar X" during this time. Sick and Quick caught Team X since
they weren't hauling, rather going light on water and supplies and
jugging with a pack. Sick and Quick passed X by jugging their haul
line then fixed the Amoeba Pitch for Team X in exchange. Mr Quick
ended up hammering something into the crack at the top of the
Amoeba Pitch, less than 8 feet from the belay. Weenie. In turn, with
a line fixed by Sick and Quick, Team X bypassed one of the two crux
pitches and ultimately skipped the other crux pitch by taking the
easier "Jarrett Finish." I felt a little saddened for them as they were
missing the two most memorable (not to mention hardest) pitches on
the route. But then we each climb for our own reasons and from the
peals of laughter we heard all day long, they were having a fucking
great time.
I reached the anchors and racked to head up the funky flakes of the
next pitch, labelled the "Shroud of Elvis." I suppose if you look
closely and use your imagination a bit, the dark lichen streaks look
like sideburns and the flakes themselves form The King's features.
The exposure was wild when I stepped out into the void at the
beginning of Pitch Seven. Cams and nuts and Aliens led me up into
ever more hollow sounding flakes. The topo lists this as C2 at the
start, then 5.9 free. The gear was bodyweight only in my mind. No
way did I want to lob off and weight this gear behind some half ton
flake above my head. Plus the pitch was overhanging. My free
climbing nemesis. So I decided to see how far I could aid. The
deciding moment came near the top of the short pitch where the
flake is completely detached, only 5" thick, but over 6 feet wide.
The move seemed to be to get out of your aiders, and free climb then
mantle onto the top of the loose flake. I thought, "Screw that" and
girthed a long runner to a stopper that I slid in from the top and
side. The nut was placed at a fairly thick part of the flake, near its
top, while the sling hung down, behind the flake, to barely protrude
beneath the flake. Standing on this I was able to hook a higher spot
on the flake, move higher and then even get another shakey piece to
ease me past the loose stuff. I still had to free climb a bit to the
single fixed pin that marked the end of The King's puzzle, but it was
only 5.7 or so with big jugs. I clipped the drilled angle and waddled
30' left around a corner to the actual belay.
Which brings me back to where this story started. Hauling off of that
single drilled angle atop Elvis' Pompador. The King must've put in a
good word for us with the Big Guy, because we don't take the Swing
Low Sweet Chariot ride. We shuttle the bag and portaledges along
the fixed line and stare up at the next pitch. It's getting dark again
and Team X has been in full on party mode for over an hour. Well at
least they're having a great time.
The eighth pitch, called "The Face Crack" is 5.8 free climbing up
stellar incuts on desert varnish flakes. Unfortunately the holds are
covered in a fine layer of sand and the protection is poor in the
chossy crack. But it's only a 90' pitch at most, so I am at the
anchors and hauling the bag well before it is too dark to see without
headlamp. The pig gets hung up for the umpteenth time on this route
and I pity the fool who solos this line.
Keath quickly makes it up and we set up camp. I fix the haul line and
tie my portaledge into it, effectively creating another level to the
ledge system while Keath sets his up in the dihedral. Tonight Keath
and I eat in our individual ledges, foregoing community for what's
easiest. I decide to try something new for dinner and create burritos
with some canned Texas-style baked beans, chicken vienna fingers
and flour tortillas. It's fabulous. My only regret is that I have
forgotten the beer. We can't see Team X, but we think we have caught
up to be level with them. The clear night sky is streaked with falling
stars.
Dawn arrives and this time we get up with the alarm. We can finally
see the rest of the route and the summit, perhaps only 70m overhead.
We will easily top out today barring anything disasterous. If I peer
out from my portaledge around the corner, I can see the guys over on
"Ecstasy." I wave and one of them gives me a wave back. Cool. Human
contact.
Pitch Nine is "The Hidden Crack," named for the hand sized crack
tucked inside the gaping offwidth. The topo calls it 5.9, but I just
slam two of the biggest cams we have into it and bypass the
gruntwork. It's a fairly ugly pitch, but it goes quickly and tops out
on the "Toquerville Tower" -- a pretty cool square ledge in the sky.
The second to last pitch begins THIN, but its fierceness has been
gutted by the addition of two fat 1/2" bolts for the free version of
the route. Ah, progress. I discover that I can wiggle the second new
bolt. Seems it has been winged on a bit. I trust it about as much as
the hook and #0 HB that I place right above it. The rock is getting
sandier than it was below. I recall that the upper pitches of "Lunar X"
had a bit of the sandbox-syndrome too. This pitch probably still
checks in at C2- though. Finally I reach a bomber drilled angle from
which I lower and backclean my last few placements. Back at the pin,
free climbing moves take me to the base of "The Sharp Crack." At
first I don't see the crack, instead I focus on the blank dihedral to
it's right. That looks like birdbeak hell. Thankfully, the "Sharp Crack"
is finger to hand sized and eats gear. I French-free a bit and aid
some too up to the belay. This section looks stellar to freeclimb,
but I'm not in the mood to tag up my shoes. My topo indicates that
there's a better belay another 40 feet higher, but I'm low on slings
and gear of that size and decide to stop here.
It is a good choice. Pitch Eleven begins with a thrash in a chimney,
reminiscent of that evil slot on "Moonlight." Then the "Sharper Crack"
cruises up a small face to a dihedral, ending on a tiny ledge with two
more drilled angles. I mutter to myself, "This is supposed to be a
better belay? Better belay, my ass!" It's cramped, but I'm not
stopping here anyways. The summit is only 25 feet overhead. Keath
lowers me down once again to backclean some small cams and
Hybrids. I head upwards again and reach another drilled angle beneath
a tiny roof. This pitch is overhung! Hanging from the pin I have two
cracks to choose from. I hear the knight from Indiana Jones say,
"Choose wisely." Both options look bad. The rock is choss. And like
it's been for much of the route, the placements aren't always
obvious. The lack of traffic on this route makes finding the right
placement a bit more interesting. Fifteen feet away the summit tree
sways. Is it mocking me? Probably. I decide to go left and work the
fat pod. A #4 Camalot goes in, but perhaps a #3 would be better.
I retry the blind placement with the blue Camalot. Upon inspection,
it's offcenter with only three cams touching the rock. I reset it
blindly and then peer up to inspect my handiwork. POW! The Camalot
falls out of the crack to bonk me on my forehead. Damn that hurt.
Back to the #4. Another piece of the problem solved. I glance down
and am thankful that Keath is 55 feet below, rather than only 10 feet
and in my fall line, which is where he would be had I stretched the
last pitch. A few more funky C2ish placements and I can toss a rope,
rodeo-style over the summit tree. But wait. What's this? A gigantor
chain hangs down from the summit. Sweet. Sport Aiding! I clip up it
and summit. As I call down to Keath that I'm off belay, I notice the
top of the tree is totally rotten. That explains the chain. I would hate
to be the fool who pulled that tree on top of him and then ride it thru
the air. As Keath comes up and I haul, Team X wanders by, heading
home. We exchange congratulations and they thank me for the "Lunar
X" topo that I had drawn and left in the Visitor Center guidebook,
mentioning that it was dead on. Sweet. Take that Bjornstadt!
It's midday on Monday and Keath and I really need to be home by noon
on Tuesday. So we blast down the trail, catch the shuttle, go eat
some pizza and drive to Primm before we both start hallucinating.
Our salvation is a $20 room on the border and the knowledge that
we'll make it home tomorrow.
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Sheer Lunacy V, 5.8, C2
11 pitches
Interesting and obscure line, but not recommended for first timers.
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Rack as of April 2001:
2 sets HB Offsets
1-2 sets Stoppers
1 ea. Black Alien
3-4 ea. Blue-Yellow Aliens (Hybrids helpful)
2-3 ea. Camalot Jr.
2-3 ea. #1-#3 Camalot
2 ea. #4 Camalot
1 ea. Black Diamond Grappling Hook
1 ea. Red, Blue Lowe Balls
1 ea. Leeper Cam Hook (wide and micro)
1 ea. Pika Toucan (right facing corner bend)
Extra pulley and perhaps an extra 30m line for P4 Tyrolean.
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-Rex Pieper
remove ".XSPAM" from signature to reply
Tim Stich
flickering on the other routes and the quiet valley below. Gotta reread it
later.
-Tim
Robert Williams
Rex Pieper wrote:
[great TR snipped]
That was awesome Rex! I almost felt as if I was there. Weren't many
climbers in Zion when I was there--probably because it was August.
Good job!
Rob
DJ Reyes
Great TR!! If I read a few more like it I'll definitely need to get out
and try my hand at some aid. Dang! That means I'll need to buy
another couple of boxes of gear. Well, if ya gotta, ya gotta!
DJR
Wendy Joseph
madb...@aol.com.XSPAM (Rex Pieper) writes:
>Sick went on to berate Eric Bjornstadt's topo
>which sent them up the sucker crack above Pitch One. I had to smile.
>Brent had told me a similar tale of his trip up "Moonlight" and that if
>he ever meets Eric, he'll punch him in the nose. Sounds like that line
>is getting pretty long.
I will be the one holding Eric's arms back--that was my lead up (and
down) the sucker crack!
Great TR, Rex. Congrats!
Wendy