Where's My File? Why Can't I Print? Is The Internet Down?
Douglas H. Quebbeman
My plate is full, and my LART is not big enough.
Why did they hire me an PFY who IRCs all day?
(ok, I know that one: because that's what PFYs do!)
Why am I earning only 50% of what a typical level 3 sysadmin
makes? Is greed my problem?
How can I wire laptops to electrocute their lusers?
Where's the pandemic that will reduce the luser population
by ninety percent?
I want to see blood, gore, guts, veins in my teeth, eat
dead, burnt bodies.
I want to see cities burning while I listen to the sweet
music of the lamentations of their women.
I want more money or less stress.
And I don't want to leave the rust belt.
Should I just chuck it and head for Amsterdam?
Maybe I should go on vacation and come back with a
set of tits. That'll throw 'em for a loop. I bet I
lean over and flash some cleavage to the boss, and
he never has a problem with his laptop again...
So, how's everyone else's week been?
-doug "fsck this PC shit, bring back the mainframes" quebbeman
--
Surgically Excise the Pig-Latin from my e-mail address in order to reply...
No Tourbots
Don W.
>My plate is full, and my LART is not big enough.
Sounds kind of like a personal problem to me...
>I want to see blood, gore, guts, veins in my teeth, eat
>dead, burnt bodies.
Move to L.A. and take all meals at McDonalds.
>I want to see cities burning while I listen to the sweet
>music of the lamentations of their women.
Better yet, just become a Viking...
>I want more money or less stress.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
>Maybe I should go on vacation and come back with a
>set of tits. That'll throw 'em for a loop. I bet I
>lean over and flash some cleavage to the boss, and
>he never has a problem with his laptop again...
Bet you he has even more problems with his laptop.
--
Don Werve (Unix System Administrator)
Email: `echo 'qba.rknzra@pbz' | tr '@.' '.@' | rot13`
Homepage: 'http://www.agentsix.net/'
Shalon Wood
> >Maybe I should go on vacation and come back with a
> >set of tits. That'll throw 'em for a loop. I bet I
> >lean over and flash some cleavage to the boss, and
> >he never has a problem with his laptop again...
>
> Bet you he has even more problems with his laptop.
Not if the tits are the *only* change.
Shalon Wood
--
"The PROPER way to handle HTML postings is to cancel the article, then hire a
hitman to kill the poster, his wife and kids, and fuck his dog and smash his
computer into little bits. Anything more is just extremism." - Paul Tomblin
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog
<do...@ixnayamspayiglou.com> said
>Ok...
>
>My plate is full, and my LART is not big enough.
>
>Why did they hire me an PFY who IRCs all day?
>(ok, I know that one: because that's what PFYs do!)
You need to learn the joy of "access list 101 deny..."
on your boundary-router(s).
--
!Raised Tails! -:Tanuki:-
"How does spunk behave in zero gravity? I think someone should make
a porn-film in space - if only for the really spectacular cumshots"
Bill Bradford
<Tanuki@canis-^Hmajor.da^Hemon.co.uk> wrote:
>>Why did they hire me an PFY who IRCs all day?
>>(ok, I know that one: because that's what PFYs do!)
> You need to learn the joy of "access list 101 deny..."
> on your boundary-router(s).
No, the PFY needs to learn how to IRC *and* do his job.
Its perfectly possible, and at times, IRC can be a good
resource for finding out stuff quickly.
Bill
--
Bill Bradford
mrb...@mrbill.net
Austin, TX
mikey
> In <3b73f...@news.iglou.com>, Douglas H. Quebbeman
> <do...@ixnayamspayiglou.com> said
> >My plate is full, and my LART is not big enough.
> >
> >Why did they hire me an PFY who IRCs all day?
> >(ok, I know that one: because that's what PFYs do!)
>
> You need to learn the joy of "access list 101 deny..."
> on your boundary-router(s).
I'm getting a wonderful idea for a LART script that would involve running
the IRC port through the English-Hungarian phrasebook.
's/Yo, d00d, wzup?/Do you want to come back to my place? Bouncy, bouncy./g'
's/What are you wearing/I will not buy this record. It is scratched./g'
--
Mikey Raeder http://24.17.118.246
Driving whilst using a mobile phone is like multitasking
in Windows. Eventually you're going to crash
Tanuki the Raccoon-dog
<mi...@akira.cmaaccess.com> said
>Tanuki the Raccoon-dog <Tanuki@canis-^Hmajor.da^Hemon.co.uk> writes:
>> In <3b73f...@news.iglou.com>, Douglas H. Quebbeman
>> <do...@ixnayamspayiglou.com> said
>> >My plate is full, and my LART is not big enough.
>> >
>> >Why did they hire me an PFY who IRCs all day?
>> >(ok, I know that one: because that's what PFYs do!)
>>
>> You need to learn the joy of "access list 101 deny..."
>> on your boundary-router(s).
>
>I'm getting a wonderful idea for a LART script that would involve running
>the IRC port through the English-Hungarian phrasebook.
>
>'s/Yo, d00d, wzup?/Do you want to come back to my place? Bouncy, bouncy./g'
>'s/What are you wearing/I will not buy this record. It is scratched./g'
Piping IRC through a copy of the current Dipslime incarnation of
the "infinite-number-of-crackmonkeys-with-typewriters"-bot might
also make for some interesting sessions.
OTOH there are those who, viewing typical IRClogs, would say that
this is already being done.
ObTransientRecovery: A whole punnet of strawberries. A whole tub
of cream. A bottle of Soave. Alas my MOTAS isn't here to share,
but I'm sure Dr. Diarrhea will be paying me a visit sometime later
tonight.
--
!Raised Tails! -:Tanuki:-
"As he lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept
saying, "Relax.. you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of
his patients." But, another voice kept reminding me, "Morgan, you
are a veterinarian!"
random
> In <3b73f...@news.iglou.com>, Douglas H. Quebbeman
> <do...@ixnayamspayiglou.com> said
> >Ok...
> >
> >My plate is full, and my LART is not big enough.
> >
> >Why did they hire me an PFY who IRCs all day?
> >(ok, I know that one: because that's what PFYs do!)
>
> You need to learn the joy of "access list 101 deny..."
> on your boundary-router(s).
Pah. You need to learn the Joy of dummynet. Route all traffic to
$DESTINATION/$PORT from Luser through Dummynet. Insert latency, packet
loss, and other oddities. Wait for complaint "My network isn't working
right". Be helpful. Go to machine, do some quick surfing, fail to
identify any problems. Make them squirm, knowing they can't reliably get
to $SITE but unable to specify exactly _what_ the problem is. Twist
screws.
Some days I think I really enjoy my job a little bit too much.
Nah...
R
Chris Klein
Images of wooden shoes speeding at Mach 3 towards the tailpipe of a
fighter aircraft spring to mind.
But it's late in the day and I want to go home. Not that I get to, not
yet. Bugger.
--Chris
Axly Suregrip
> So, how's everyone else's week been?
It's been a Qwest week. And has ended thusly:
Them: "We've checked the T1's and the switch, and everything's okay."
Me: "Besides the fact that we're not getting calls on 48 trunks?"
Them: "Right."
Then they closed the trouble ticket.
And I thought I was a bastard. I should go do carrier-level support for a
big telco. They obviously have no responsibilities, and no fear of
reprisals. I could fuck off all day and tell people "We don't see a
problem here" or "Have your vendor call us" or just simply close a ticket
for the hell of it.
Oh. Wait. Keep forgetting that I fuck off all day anyway[0]. Nevermind.
[0] Except when I drove out to BFE, Washington today to replace ALL of our
equipment out there just in case it really was our problem. Didn't fix a
thing, natch.
--
Don't think of it as dying. Of course, that's
what it is, but try not to think about it.
-- Dragoncrest 2nd Tier
random
> [0] Except when I drove out to BFE, Washington today to replace ALL of our
> equipment out there just in case it really was our problem. Didn't fix a
> thing, natch.
What the fsck are you whining about? You live in BFE Idaho; BFE
Washington is on the other side of town. Could have been worse. Talk to
$PHB or $MoronMarketingGuy about a POP in Washtucna...
I'm going to Denver next week to do the merely impossible for the
ungrateful so in less than a month it can all get ripped out and
replaced.
My new Machine room is pretty awesome, though. Much nicer
than yours, in fact. I'm working on ways to obfuscate the network to the
point where it only works if I give it permission, then I'm going to put a
button on the PHP-based NOC site I'm writing to withdraw permission at
will.
Working on a way to script latency so I can set it with a
slider. Same with packet loss, and a means to insert sites that various
people will have trouble getting to depending on where they go and how
much they annoy me that week[0].
[0] My new job title is "Evil Network Overlord", which means I'm the PHB
since everyone but the Director (basically the CTO) in IT reports to
me. My current cards do not have "root" as the job title (of course they
printed them without telling me so I couldn't get that minor oversight
fixed), but I'm going to work on getting "ENO" on my new ones.
[1] WARNING: Footnote 1 declared but not accessed
[2] Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most ( S. Clemmens, I
believe)
R
Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz
In <3b73f...@news.iglou.com>, on 08/10/2001
at 11:00 AM, "Douglas H. Quebbeman" <do...@ixnayamspayiglou.com>
said:
>-doug "fsck this PC shit, bring back the mainframes" quebbeman
Nu, so you think that &PHB and &luser weren't around before the PC? No
such luck; they were there for mu Uncle Crow and Aunt Maggie.
--
Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz, SysProg and JOAT
Reply to domain acm dot org user shmuel to contact me.
"He was born with a gift of laughter,
and a sense that the world was mad."
Florian Weps
> Maybe I should go on vacation and come back with a
> set of tits. That'll throw 'em for a loop. I bet I
^^^^^^^^^^^
Two rows of three, as any true bastard has.
Florian
--
The apples emerge, in the sun's black shade, among stricken trees,
A straggle of survivors, nearly all ailing.
-- Ted Hughes, "Apple Dumps"
Suresh Ramasubramanian
> "Douglas H. Quebbeman" <do...@ixnayamspayiglou.com> writes:
>
> > Maybe I should go on vacation and come back with a
> > set of tits. That'll throw 'em for a loop. I bet I
> ^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> Two rows of three, as any true bastard has.
haven't bothered to count.
-suresh
[1] cute mixed breed - brown with white spots, black eyes and muzzle.
Inclined to put her paws on me, wag her tail hard and whine nonstop till I
give her her daily quota of ear-scritching and a biscuit or two.
Douglas H. Quebbeman
message
> >
> >My plate is full, and my LART is not big enough.
> >
> >Why did they hire me an PFY who IRCs all day?
> >(ok, I know that one: because that's what PFYs do!)
>
> You need to learn the joy of "access list 101 deny..."
> on your boundary-router(s).
That sounds like a Crisco router thing to me... I'm stuck
with a SemiLucid Semipipe...
-dq
Graham Reed
I'm everybody's problem!
--
"I thought everyone in [TO] ... jumped off the Bloor Street Viaduct? Or
was your Mom a nonconformist?" -- adb about my mother in the Monastery.
"Well, of course she was. Just because everyone *else's* Mom was jumping
off the Bloor Street Viaduct, should *she*?" -- Jonathan's witty retort.
Don W.
>"Douglas H. Quebbeman" <do...@ixnayamspayiglou.com> writes:
>> Is greed my problem?
>
>I'm everybody's problem!
>
Now all we need are Samuel Loth (Windows Specialist), Eric Nvy (Runs
the E10Ks), Patrick Ride (Runs the BSD cluster), Walter Rath (the
head admin), Larry Ust (works on an ASCI Red), and George Luttony (has
the most powerful workstation known to man). Then we'll have all of
the Seven Deadly Sysadmins.
--
Don Werve (Unix System Administrator)
Email: `echo 'qba.rknzra@pbz' | tr '@.' '.@' | rot13`
Homepage: 'http://www.agentsix.net/'
"We are all atheists about most of the gods that humanity has ever believed
in. Some of us just go one god further." - Richard Dawkins
Douglas H. Quebbeman
news:slrn9no3v...@erebus.agentsix.net...
> Legend has it that Graham Reed of Gilead once wrote:
> >"Douglas H. Quebbeman" <do...@ixnayamspayiglou.com> writes:
> >> Is greed my problem?
> >
> >I'm everybody's problem!
> >
>
> Now all we need are Samuel Loth (Windows Specialist), Eric Nvy (Runs
> the E10Ks), Patrick Ride (Runs the BSD cluster), Walter Rath (the
> head admin), Larry Ust (works on an ASCI Red), and George Luttony (has
> the most powerful workstation known to man). Then we'll have all of
> the Seven Deadly Sysadmins.
yeah, but all it will take is one Charles Lueless to send all seven
into recovery...
Once I had -Hope-, but it's dashed now...
-dq
Don W.
>> the E10Ks), Patrick Ride (Runs the BSD cluster), Walter Rath (the
>> head admin), Larry Ust (works on an ASCI Red), and George Luttony (has
>> the most powerful workstation known to man). Then we'll have all of
>> the Seven Deadly Sysadmins.
>
>yeah, but all it will take is one Charles Lueless to send all seven
>into recovery...
Ah; the coming of the Antichrist.
>Once I had -Hope-, but it's dashed now...
I once had hope too, but she...er, well, nevermind.