(Fanfic/repost) World's Most Beat-Up TF's: The Fanfic
ZacWilliam
Staring:
Blue-Jackal's Box-O-Skywarp
Alex's most beat-up Wheeljack
ZacWilliam's "Scrap" dragon
and many others...
*** A Brief Explanation: This was my first fanfic
and sort of evolved unintentionally out of a survey thread
I started on ATT. All the scraped TFs within are
actual toys, belonging to actual Transfans. No names
have been changed to protect anybody, and while I won't
vouch for the quality of the writing, it at least got the
'W.M.B.U.' series rolling, and I think some of the
later ones are pretty amusing. ;-) ***
The Worlds Most Beat-Up TF's: the fanfic (part one)
by- ZacWilliam.
There was a creek of rusted hinges violently scratching
the night silence,and then nothing. Clouds of all-obscuring smoke
drifted by.
"SHHHH!"
"Sorry."
"Shhh! No Talking!"
"I'LL NEVER TALK MEGATRON! NEVER! HaHaHa!"
"prowl, shhh!" "shhhh!" "shut up."
The air began to clear and Wheeljack looked at his
fellow Autobots. What was left of Goldbug had pooled
itself into a depression a few feet away and was continuing
to gurgle something about Spike keeping his feet off the
dashboard,Prowl, battered beyond recognition, but at
least silent now, twitched against a large rock, Bumblebee
missing his left arm and leg sat behind him. Wheeljack
frowned, as much as was possible for someone
without a mouth.
"Wait a minute, aren't you and Goldbug supposed to be the
same person?" he said to Bumblebee.
"What?"
"Aren't you two the same person!"
"Well...yeah," the small robot answered sheepishly, "but my
owner asked real nice if I could be here, and besides the Author
needed another smashed up autobot. Besides didn't you die in the
movie?"
"Point taken"
They lapsed into silence. Wheeljack looked down at himself.
The strange green growths were spreading across where one of his
arm had been. That was probably not a good sign.
Plus, he knew, the Decepticons were out there somewhere!
All and all, he decided, he had definitely had better days...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Next: The Decepticons arrive!
The Worlds Most Beat Up TF's: the fanfic (part TWO)
Spooky Interlude One: Across the dark depths of space an
ominous shape moves. Large enough to blot out a thousand stars
the black form travels relentlessly across the void. It is
coming ever nearer... ever closer to earth, and nothing shall
stand in it's way! End Interlude.
Less then a mile away from the Autobot camp was a similar
motley group in similarly motley condition. Megatron,
understandably irritated over the loss of both his arms in the
mornings battle, called his forces to a halt. He turned to the
Horrorcon beside him. Snapdragon had lost his head, literally,
and the Decepticon Emergency Replacement Inflatable Head (or
DERIH for short) looked surprisingly like the captain on a
certain earth science fiction program. Megatron didn't watch TV
and so failed to note this.
"Snapdragon, Tell them they can rest, but only for a
moment!"
"Impulse engines only? I will 'Make It So' Megatron!"
"Whatever." Megatron growled in response, and stalked away
to brood on whether Cobra Commander had to put up with fanfics
like this.
Behind them the once proud Decepticon warriors needed little
motivation to stop. A large group of beat up Constructicons gazed
around blankly. Sixshot, who had been dragging himself along by
his single remaining arm, attempted to sit, but lacking any legs
simply flopped over onto his back.
"This Sucks."
Rumble, clearly in pain and walking rather like Igor in an
old earth horror movie, came up beside the reclined six changer
and dropped a large box he'd been carrying.
"Ouch!" said the box.
"What's in there?" said Sixshot.
"Skywarp," said Rumble
"Ouch!" said Sixshot.
"Yeah, it's a bummer, huh. But he's taking it well." Rumble
lifted up the lid and looked inside. "You all right in there?"
"S'Alright!"
"S'Alright?"
"S'Alright!"
"See, he's fine." Rumble closed the lid, sat on the box, and
crossed his legs.
Looking up at the casset, mainly because from his current
position he had very little choice, Sixshot noticed a large metal
ring passing through the others chest and attached by a chain to
what looked like a set of giant keys.
"What's that?" he asked.
"I picked it up from the humans," Rumble turned to show that
it passed all the way through his chest, " it's called body
piercing."
Sixshot examined it for a moment...
"Boy, humans are dumb."
"Yeah! Hahahah, they... HEY!"
Spooky Interlude Two: The ship is closer now. All jagged
edges. Still as black as space. Soon it will reach the dark smoky
battlefield and it's goal!
Very. Very. Soon.
End Interlude.
To Be Continued...
Next: Moldy Wheeljack builds something that explodes!
Box-O-Skywarp unleashed!
And a guest cameo by Waspinator!
The Worlds Most Beat Up TF's: the fanfic (part three)
The smoke had cleared a little, but not that much.
Bumblebee stared off, past where they had buried the two halves
of Bluestreak, and tried to see where Wheeljack had gone. As if
on cue the larger robot ran into sight.
"BUMBLE...'CONS...BEE...BIG KEYS...COMING..."
"Slow Down, Wheeljack."
"Okay." If he had had lungs he would have been panting, as
it was, the mold spots on his chest seemed to be doing it for
him. Wheeljack calmed himself down and told Bumblebee how he'd
gone to scout. He had figured it was up to him, since he was the
only Autobot with two legs left. Bumblebee was going to
point out that Prowl also had both legs, but then looked over and
saw the police car was having another conversation with an
imaginary Optimus Prime, and thought better of it.
"Anyway, I saw that sawed-off jerk Rumble chasing Sixshot
around in circles. At least I think it was Rumble...I never could
tell..."
"It's easy, Frenzy is Red, Rumble is Blue."
"See, I thought it was the other way around."
"I don't think so." Bumblebee sounded unsure.
"Whatever. The weird thing is that someone has made him into
a Metroplex-scale key chain."
Bumblebee thought it over. A Metroplex-scale key chain? What
was Megatron up to? He thought some more. A Metroplex-scale key
chain means... Metroplex-scale Keys!?
"Wheeljack! What if they're planing to use those giant keys
to open the gates of Autobot City!"
"You might be right..."
"What'll we do!" He was on the edge of panic.
"Hmmmm....You know, back on Cybertron I once built..."
Everyone's eyes began to glaze over. Wheeljack, oblivious,
continued, " ...a giant Cyber-Magnet. If we built one here we
could pull those keys right to us! I'll get started right away."
Nearby, the Decepticons were on the move again. Megatron
walked in the lead, being careful not to lose his balance, having
no arms if he fell he would not be able to get up, and that would
be an embarrassing way to lose Decepticon leadership. Behind him
came an attle-brained Snapdragon, a one limbed Sixshot, an
overburdened Rumble, and a huddled mass of Constructicon
parts. Things were so bad Meg's was beginning to wish Starscream
were there.
It was Snapdragon who first sighted the Cyber-Magnet on the
horizon.
"Sensors indicate Romulans off the starboard bow, Megatron!"
They all turned to see what the Hell he was talking about.
It rose up through the smoke like an upside down oil well
and seemed to be made entirely out of the remnants of beat up
Autobots. In a moment it began to glow and Rumble was yanked
screaming into the sky.
"I told him that thing was dumb." muttered Sixshot.
MixMaster's head, practically the only part of him there
was, began to scream,
"Dear God! It's going to suck us all in!"
"If only I had my legs, or Megatron had his arms, we could
blow it up!" said Sixshot in frustration. Then an idea struck
him.
" You've got a couple of severed Constructicon legs in that
pile somewhere, right?"
" Yea."
" Well hook them up to me, then I can use my gun mode."
" Wait, what about ammo? I mean there is nothing here that
you could... Oh No! Not a chance! Find some other almost severed
head, 'cause I ain't being no bullet!" Sixshot moved closer...
"Mmmummph!" A muffled sound came from off to the left. It
was the box Rumble had been carrying! The box full of Skywarp!
"Your volunteering?"
"Mmmhmm."
"I guess anything better than being stuck in a box." said
Mixmaster.
"You've never heard about Iggy Drougge's Needlenose, have
you!"
The pieces of Skywarp were emptied into Sixshot's new
barrels. With a sound like a thousand thunderbolts the makeshift
cannon fired, sending a deadly rain of black and purple shrapnel
screaming through the night. The Magnet was shredded by the force
of the impact. With a sound like a balloon bursting it explode
in a blinding flash of light!
All the smoke was blown away by the shock wave. The Autobots
and Decepticons faced each other at last! In between, where the
tower had been, a strange light now shown. Within it a shape
began to form and grow, as if moving closer...
"Oh Shit!" said Wheeljack, "Space/Time rip! I hate it when
this happens!"
The puddle of Goldbug gurgled agreement.
Out of the light came a strangely insectoid robot head,
being dragged along by a severed arm.
The head's eyes bulged as they took in the robots
surrounding it.
"Ouuuchhhy!" it said in a buzzing voice, "Annnd
Wazzpinnatorr thought he had it bad!" It then quickly turned and
vanished back into the portal. "Wazzzpinnatorr think even Agenda
part 4 have to beee bettterrrr than thizzzz!"
TO BE CONTINUED....
Next: The Battle!
The Spooky Ship From Part Two!
And Maybe - The End!
The Worlds Most Beat Up TF's: the fanfic (part Four)
The light faded and the portal closed. Only dim starlight
illuminated the rocky plain. Megatron, gesturing dramatically -
or at least it would have been dramatic if not for the fact,
mentioned earlier, that he no longer had any arms - spoke.
"Now! The time for pointless and gratuitous cameos is over!
Prepare to die Autobots!"
The two sides surged forward. Actually they sort of
stumbled haltingly... except for Goldbug who kind of oozed.
Screaming for vengeance Prowl gathered his strength and
lunged at Megatron. Seeing his leader in peril Snapdragon
attempted to intervene and Prowl's one remaining fist hit
Snapdragon's D.E.R.I.H. - head. The head lost.
"Red Alert! Red Alert!" stumbling about uncontrollably he
knocked both Megatron and Prowl into a heap on the ground. "The
Borg will not take this ship! Not while I'm in command! Initiate
Self Destruct!" Megatron began to scream!
"No, You Idiot!" but it was too late. All three exploded
into flames. This would have alarmed the remaining forces on both
sides, but they were slightly preoccupied... On the other side
of the battlefield the Constructicons had merged.
"DEVASTATOR!"
"Well, duh."
"He looks mad."
In fact what he looked like was a badly thought-out junk
sculpture. And an angry one! Even Sixshot took a step back. They
needn't have feared. This time it was Goldbug who saved the day.
Devastator's first step came down directly on the liquefied
Autobot, he lost his balance, and crashed to the ground... Hard.
Wheeljack, Bumblebee, and Sixshot suddenly found themselves alone
on the battlefield. There was a moment of silence.
"Um...I surrender?" offered Sixshot.
Above, where Devastator had moments ago blocked the sky, a
new darkness moved. It moved quickly. Spikes and towers jutted
out at random angles. The stars above vanished behind it and the
three remaining Transformers gazed up in awe.
"What's that?!" gasped Bumblebee.
"That's a hull of a ship." said Wheeljack.
"I'll Say!"
Sixshot looked at them in disgust...
"Now we're recycling old Abbot and Costello routines?!
Is it just me or is the Author really slacking off!"
As if in answer, the ship crashed down and flattened all
three into steel pancakes. A door on the side of it began to
glow. Slowly, it opened. Wreck-Gar and the Junkions stepped out.
They surveyed the carnage.
"Men, we've found the Promised Land!" The music came up
and the Junkions...they got down! "Time to Rock 'n Roll All
Night and Party E- VER- Y Day!"
EPILOGUE: Far from the scene of the party lay the battered
heads of Skywarp and Rumble. They had been blown clear after the
explosion of Wheeljack's Cyber-Magnet.
"You know what's weird?" asked Rumble. Though Skywarp didn't
care, he also didn't have anything else to do, so he played
along.
"No. What?"
"In this whole freakin' story none of us ever transformed."
he said, "...Isn't that strange."
"I dunno, I guess."
"Myself, I think it's a sign of poor craftsmanship. What
about you?"
Skywarp thought about it in silence. Time passed. After a
while he frowned.
"I miss my box..."
THE END!
"I don't break rules, I ... well OK, Yeah, I do."
-Scapdragon searching for a motto of his own.
Blue-Jackal
<zach...@csu.cted.net> writes
>*** A Brief Explanation: This was my first fanfic
> and sort of evolved unintentionally out of a survey thread
>I started on ATT. All the scraped TFs within are
> actual toys, belonging to actual Transfans. No names
> have been changed to protect anybody, and while I won't
> vouch for the quality of the writing, it at least got the
> 'W.M.B.U.' series rolling, and I think some of the
> later ones are pretty amusing. ;-) ***
Zac, Please write another of these fics!!:)
A little light hearted fun goes a long way in ATT and I'm sure there are
some more worlds-most-beat-up-TF's to join the cast since the last fic
was written:)
Please, pretty please, pretty please with a box-o-Skywarp on top!:)
--
Blue-Jackal
Keeping watch over Swoops ATT spot:)
Sugarbot of Dinobot ***Officially***
Guardian of Starscream's spark :)
Tickled by Scott McNeil ;)
Sworn enemy of G*lv*tron!!
Protector of BWII Starscream :)
Fan-girl of James of Team Rocket :)
Admirer of Hellbat :)
Partying with the Jointrons, AMIGO!!! :)
(Blackarachnia of the ATT RPG)
(Fact: Airazor is the daughter of Deszaras and Guyhawk)
http://www2.crosswinds.net/~vicegripx/bwgalleria.htm
Goldimus Prime
Blue-Jackal <An...@warriorprincess.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> In article <7sugm3$15f$3...@autumn.news.rcn.net>, ZacWilliam
> <zach...@csu.cted.net> writes
> > and sort of evolved unintentionally out of a survey thread
> >I started on ATT. All the scraped TFs within are
> > actual toys, belonging to actual Transfans. No names
> > have been changed to protect anybody, and while I won't
> > vouch for the quality of the writing, it at least got the
> > 'W.M.B.U.' series rolling, and I think some of the
> > later ones are pretty amusing. ;-) ***
>
>
> A little light hearted fun goes a long way in ATT and I'm sure there are
> some more worlds-most-beat-up-TF's to join the cast since the last fic
> was written:)
>
> Please, pretty please, pretty please with a box-o-Skywarp on top!:)
> --
> Blue-Jackal
> Keeping watch over Swoops ATT spot:)
> Sugarbot of Dinobot ***Officially***
> Guardian of Starscream's spark :)
> Tickled by Scott McNeil ;)
> Sworn enemy of G*lv*tron!!
> Protector of BWII Starscream :)
> Fan-girl of James of Team Rocket :)
> Admirer of Hellbat :)
> Partying with the Jointrons, AMIGO!!! :)
> (Blackarachnia of the ATT RPG)
> (Fact: Airazor is the daughter of Deszaras and Guyhawk)
>
> http://www2.crosswinds.net/~vicegripx/bwgalleria.htm
>
>
Yeah, I have a G2 Megatron(the big one) whose shoulder cannon won't slide
anymore, thus not letting the head pop-out. I call it Cannon-Head-Megatron.
If you do write another, can you include this? -- Goldimus Prime, keeper of
the ATT Primer, and ABT Petition Sign the ABT petition
http://www.angelfire.com/tn/goldimus/petition.html Goldimus Prime's
Transformers (http://www.angelfire.com/tn/goldimus)
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.
Blue-Jackal
<goldimu...@hotmail.com> writes
>Yeah, I have a G2 Megatron(the big one) whose shoulder cannon won't slide
>anymore, thus not letting the head pop-out. I call it Cannon-Head-Megatron.
>If you do write another, can you include this?
And ViceGrip has Bladeless, the bladeless G1 Blades:)
I have a legion of 1 armed Tf's consisting of...
- 1 armed Brawn (BRAWN IS ARM-LESS!!)
- 1 armed Frenzy (of the RED variation:P~~~~ )
- 1 armed Powerglide
Then there is Sunstreaker.
DO NOT TOUCH SUNSTREAKER!!!!!
Why? Because there is *nothing* holding all his parts together:)
Moving on we have Soundwave.
However hard you try, Soundwaves fists will not emerge from the end of
his arms.
Even Raksha had to admit defeat by my Soundwave at BotCon! ;)
Bluestreak.
Or more accurately, the front half of Bluestreak:)
Headmasterless Mindwipe and Headmasterless Weirdwolf.
Their Nebulon partners just packed their bags and left one day.
Grimlocks T Rex head.
That's all.
Thrust-ish.
Or more accurately, a pair of wings and a tail wing.
And the box-o-skywarp still exists and wants to say "Hi!" to everyone!:)
--
Blue-Jackal
Keeping watch over Swoops ATT spot:)
Sugarbot of Dinobot ***Officially***
Guardian of Starscream's spark :)
Tickled by Scott McNeil ;)
Sworn enemy of G*lv*tron!!
Fan-girl of James of Team Rocket :)
Partying with the Jointrons, AMIGO!!! :)
(Blackarachnia of the ATT RPG)
(Fact: Airazor is the daughter of Deszaras and Guyhawk)
"There is only one true spark in the heart of me and that
is Blue-Jackal, a sugarbot. All the rest shall be destroyed brutally!!!"
- Scott McNeil, as Dinobot, to me at BotCon 99 -
http://www2.crosswinds.net/~vicegripx/bwgalleria.htm
ViceGripX
>Goldimus Prime writes
>>Yeah, I have a G2 Megatron(the big one) whose shoulder cannon won't slide
>>anymore, thus not letting the head pop-out. I call it
Cannon-Head-Megatron.
>>If you do write another, can you include this?
>
>And ViceGrip has Bladeless, the bladeless G1 Blades:)
Bladeless: *sniff* "She remembers me! If only I could fly to her, but I
have no blades! Ah, heck, I'll just beat up on Go-Bot Ironhide to make me
feel better!"
Ironhide: "Get away from me! Prahme!!!!"
Zac, feel free to use Bladeless if you do another WMBUTF fanfic.
--
There are always naysayers that will say nay.
I'm happier than a Terrorcon with two connector pegs!!
Wear a Stampy around your neck, you'll get chicks!
You can't surrender if you're always running away...
+ /|(http://www.wildrun.com/)|\ Help! My .sig
+ p / |(email: v...@wildrun.com)| \ was stuck in a
+NNON| |NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN| |NN vise by
+ b \_|=========================|_/=O Dave Van Domelen!
TF Fancode: G+++ FR FW+ M++ #459 D+++ ADA N+++ W++ B+++ OP++ MUSH-- BC+++
CN++++ OM P277
Nicholas Paufler
>Blue-Jackal wrote...
>>Goldimus Prime writes
>>>Yeah, I have a G2 Megatron(the big one) whose shoulder cannon won't slide
>>>anymore, thus not letting the head pop-out. I call it
>Cannon-Head-Megatron.
>>>If you do write another, can you include this?
>>
>>And ViceGrip has Bladeless, the bladeless G1 Blades:)
>
> Bladeless: *sniff* "She remembers me! If only I could fly to her, but I
>have no blades! Ah, heck, I'll just beat up on Go-Bot Ironhide to make me
>feel better!"
>
> Ironhide: "Get away from me! Prahme!!!!"
>
> Zac, feel free to use Bladeless if you do another WMBUTF fanfic.
>
When my parents started hitting yard sales, I reminded them to keep an eye out
for transformers, so one day they brought me back 4 BW toys, but unfortunately
forgot to get the bag of weapons and detatched parts ... meaning i now have:
Battimus Primal, sans arms. Yep, a horrid toy to begin with who's
auto-transform is broken and is missing his arms.
The one-armed Tigatron - Tigatron in good condition, but missing his left arm
and his gut gun. Doh. Wonder if he could get a part in a transformers version
of the fugitive...
Stripped down Rhinox - In robot mode, he looks mostly okay, but all of his
beast kibble, except the top of his rhino head, has been stripped off. So he's
completely unable to transform and look like anything but a brown mound with a
rhino skull =) "<Dad> Oh, i saw a bad of rhinoserous parts, but didn't think
they belonged..."
Polar Claw - Almost complete, in fact, just missing his little bat thing that
he launches from his shoulder.
Oohh, and then the one time I went yardsaling, i got a complete set of G2
combaticons, including most of the parts to combine, but they were so
incredibly loose it can hardly stay combined. Merely touching it is enough to
send it falling to the ground. Most of its constituent elements are missing
minor pieces (helicopter blades, fins, etc) and I don't think there is a
single tight joint amongst the lot of them. Hell, it was $3 though =)
And finally ... some decepticon jet headmaster, grey black and purple, missing
his head, has numerous pieces snapped off, is scratched up, dirty, and
generally in horrible shape. Doesn't look like much...
Together, these bots form ... the Handicappedicons, one of the lost tribes of
cybertron, returning home to conquer the universe! mwuahha!