Yogic Flying
Rev. Magdalen
his heart and all those other Yogi feats you hear about) and it inspired him
with the thought that if those guys can levitate, it should be possible for
anybody to levitate, and perhaps, even to fly.
And of course, the cynics (including the Lord) say, "1- why should anyone
believe that this guy really saw a yogi levitate, and 2 - if the guy is
sincere, the yogi must have tricked him somehow." They base this on the
fact that people cannot levitate, and thus, he could not have seen what he
said he saw.
But, thousands of people have been documenting yogic levitation for
CENTURIES, even our own western culture mentions it as an Indian curiosity,
with the assumption that it must be a very clever trick. It's been going on
since before there was trick photography, and is it really possible that
everyone who has ever seen it was hypnotized into remembering an illusion?
Or that yogis have secret constructions of ropes and poles set up all over
India?
Then I remembered something my sister and I saw on the web one time -- The
Yoga Hopping and Flying School. I checked it out -- turns out it's a part
of Transcendental Meditation, that wacky Scientologyesque secret Hindu cult
the Beatles got into. They had this great picture of three guys floating in
mid air, http://www.alltm.org/YFlying.html and the IRC kids were all like,
"Those guys are on TRAMPOLINES!! Look at their HAIR!" So much for human
levitation!
So, ok, I looked into it more, and it's true those TM guys are SERIOUS
kooks -- compounds and all. There's all kinds of horror stories on the web
about them. And, their "yoga flying" is an art with three steps -- first
you feel really light, then you "move forward a short distance" (you HOP on
your KNEES), then, if you're really, really enlightened, someday, maybe,
you'll be able to fly. They don't have anyone who has made it to step 3
yet, but they have a lot of people on step 2! Sounds like the Underpants
Gnomes to me.
However, I read an article about one of their hopping events that they do
for World Peace -- they lay down a bunch of foam mats, then everyone gets on
them and sits lotus-style and meditates. Then, they begin to hop all over
the place, "often colliding" !!! Now that just sounds like good old down
home SubGenius type fun to me! Now that we know how dangerous wrestling can
be, I think bumper-yogic-hopping would be great at XXXXDay instead! Anyone
know where we can get some used foam rubber mats?? Or I guess we could just
ask everyone to tie old mattresses from the side of the road to the tops of
their cars if they're driving there. When we're done, we can send the video
to the Maharishi!
But as for TRUE yogic levitation, I still think it's real. I've heard so
many people say they've seen it, and *I'VE* seen it on video -- I probably
have more evidence for believing in yogic levitation than I have for
believing in the existence of Nebraska.
Fellate-me Elmo
There may indeed be TM kooks but I learned it in the mid-70's and
it's a great relaxation technique using crude self-hypnosis. There
didn't seem to be much more to it than that at the time.
There's all kinds of horror stories on the web
> about them. And, their "yoga flying" is an art with three steps -- first
> you feel really light, then you "move forward a short distance" (you HOP on
> your KNEES), then, if you're really, really enlightened, someday, maybe,
> you'll be able to fly. They don't have anyone who has made it to step 3
> yet, but they have a lot of people on step 2! Sounds like the Underpants
> Gnomes to me.
>
> However, I read an article about one of their hopping events that they do
> for World Peace -- they lay down a bunch of foam mats, then everyone gets on
> them and sits lotus-style and meditates. Then, they begin to hop all over
> the place, "often colliding" !!! Now that just sounds like good old down
> home SubGenius type fun to me! Now that we know how dangerous wrestling can
> be, I think bumper-yogic-hopping would be great at XXXXDay instead! Anyone
> know where we can get some used foam rubber mats?? Or I guess we could just
> ask everyone to tie old mattresses from the side of the road to the tops of
> their cars if they're driving there. When we're done, we can send the video
> to the Maharishi!
>
> But as for TRUE yogic levitation, I still think it's real. I've heard so
> many people say they've seen it, and *I'VE* seen it on video -- I probably
> have more evidence for believing in yogic levitation than I have for
> believing in the existence of Nebraska.
I have seen a couple of shows on this topic, including one where the
trick was explained. Each levitating 'yogi' (?) was holding a cane from
one palm to the ground while levitating, seemingly resting his hand
comfortably on it, and this turned out to be the buried base of an
odd-shaped wrought iron upside-down-L contrivance which went on up the
sleeve of the robe, down the back, and ended in a little iron seat. The
apparatus was outside a temple, pitted with age and was obviously very old.
A trick from the dawn of the iron age, no doubt. It looks *really*
slick in action. After seeing this I can't believe in actual levitation
- not that I did previously. It's just goofy, from my perspective, but
then I haven't seen much video of it.
Joe Cosby
feverishly;
thunder crashed, "Rev. Magdalen" <magd...@home.com> laughed madly,
then wrote:
>So, on IRC last night, this guy said he saw a Yogi levitate once (and stop
>his heart and all those other Yogi feats you hear about) and it inspired him
>with the thought that if those guys can levitate, it should be possible for
>anybody to levitate, and perhaps, even to fly.
>
>And of course, the cynics (including the Lord) say, "1- why should anyone
>believe that this guy really saw a yogi levitate, and 2 - if the guy is
>sincere, the yogi must have tricked him somehow." They base this on the
>fact that people cannot levitate, and thus, he could not have seen what he
>said he saw.
>
>But, thousands of people have been documenting yogic levitation for
>CENTURIES, even our own western culture mentions it as an Indian curiosity,
>with the assumption that it must be a very clever trick. It's been going on
>since before there was trick photography, and is it really possible that
>everyone who has ever seen it was hypnotized into remembering an illusion?
>Or that yogis have secret constructions of ropes and poles set up all over
>India?
>
The yogi would tell you that it's the other way around; the people
who haven't seen it are hypnotized, and the strange event was a
momentary lapse in the program.
But if they were so damned clever, you'd think they could have gotten
past Ranger Smith by now.
>Then I remembered something my sister and I saw on the web one time -- The
>Yoga Hopping and Flying School. I checked it out -- turns out it's a part
>of Transcendental Meditation, that wacky Scientologyesque secret Hindu cult
>the Beatles got into. They had this great picture of three guys floating in
>mid air, http://www.alltm.org/YFlying.html and the IRC kids were all like,
>"Those guys are on TRAMPOLINES!! Look at their HAIR!" So much for human
>levitation!
>
>So, ok, I looked into it more, and it's true those TM guys are SERIOUS
>kooks -- compounds and all. There's all kinds of horror stories on the web
>about them. And, their "yoga flying" is an art with three steps -- first
>you feel really light, then you "move forward a short distance"
>(you HOP on your KNEES),
That's basically the thing, from what I've seen. They don't so much
hop on their knees, as master a kind of constriction of the thigh and
calf muscles which can make them kinda jump sorta.
Like Kegel exercises gone mad.
>then, if you're really, really enlightened, someday, maybe,
>you'll be able to fly. They don't have anyone who has made it to step 3
>yet, but they have a lot of people on step 2! Sounds like the Underpants
>Gnomes to me.
>
Well heck, they're well on the way then! x^)
>However, I read an article about one of their hopping events that they do
>for World Peace -- they lay down a bunch of foam mats, then everyone gets on
>them and sits lotus-style and meditates. Then, they begin to hop all over
>the place, "often colliding" !!! Now that just sounds like good old down
>home SubGenius type fun to me!
rotflmao
God, the image of that cracks me up.
I mean, can you imagine looking into the room where they're all in
their bouncing around "I BELIEVE!" "I BELIEVE!"
>Now that we know how dangerous wrestling can
>be, I think bumper-yogic-hopping would be great at XXXXDay instead! Anyone
>know where we can get some used foam rubber mats?? Or I guess we could just
>ask everyone to tie old mattresses from the side of the road to the tops of
>their cars if they're driving there. When we're done, we can send the video
>to the Maharishi!
>
>But as for TRUE yogic levitation, I still think it's real. I've heard so
>many people say they've seen it, and *I'VE* seen it on video -- I probably
>have more evidence for believing in yogic levitation than I have for
>believing in the existence of Nebraska.
That's a more apt metaphor than you might realize.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"SAVE YOUR CHURCH FROM ACTS OF GOD!
GIVE YOUR MONEY TO BOB DOBBS!"
Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/
irk
"Rev. Magdalen" <magd...@home.com> wrote in message
news:5_mF6.92224$J%5.322...@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com...
[SNIP]
> Sounds like the Underpants
> Gnomes to me.
Please! Somebody take me to a pussy village
like Cartman suggested.
Or was that village, pussy.
DAMN!
saint andreux
>So, ok, I looked into it more, and it's true those TM guys are SERIOUS
>kooks -- compounds and all. There's all kinds of horror stories on the web
>about them. And, their "yoga flying" is an art with three steps -- first
>you feel really light, then you "move forward a short distance" (you HOP on
>your KNEES), then, if you're really, really enlightened, someday, maybe,
>you'll be able to fly. They don't have anyone who has made it to step 3
>yet, but they have a lot of people on step 2! Sounds like the Underpants
>Gnomes to me.
Too many organisations are like our
little underwear stealing pals...
STEP ONE: _______________
STEP TWO: ???????????????
STEP THREE: PROFIT
For instance, you COULD say that the
Church of the SubGenius is very much
like our underwear stealing pals...
STEP ONE: SEND MONEY TO "BOB"
STEP TWO: ???????
STEP THREE: PROFIT
Buddha says, "The trickiest religions
don't CARE if YOU ever figure out step
two... You just made it possible for
THEM to go from Step ONE to Step THREE."
--
===================================================
saint andreux || and...@jehovahatesphred.com
po'bucker backwoods faith chapel & taco stand, inc.
"would you like some possum on that there torta?"
===================================================
rub mah buddha belly. oh yeah. right there. transcend me, baby.
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel
> Too many organisations are like our
> little underwear stealing pals...
>
> STEP ONE: _______________
>
> STEP TWO: ???????????????
>
> STEP THREE: PROFIT
>
> For instance, you COULD say that the
> Church of the SubGenius is very much
> like our underwear stealing pals...
>
> STEP ONE: SEND MONEY TO "BOB"
>
> STEP TWO: ???????
>
> STEP THREE: PROFIT
It's not just kults, kiddies:
Step 1: "Let's go out for coffe sometime."
Step 2: ???????
Step 3: "Where do you want to go for breakfast, hon?"
--
The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel
Official Tickling Dummy of the Church of the SubGenius
Peter Harris
Rev. Magdalen <magd...@home.com> wrote in message
news:5_mF6.92224$J%5.322...@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com...
(snip)
> But as for TRUE yogic levitation, I still think it's real. I've heard so
> many people say they've seen it, and *I'VE* seen it on video -- I probably
> have more evidence for believing in yogic levitation than I have for
> believing in the existence of Nebraska.
During all the recent TV coverage of Kumbh Mela here in the UK they
interviewed a worshipper who'd been a fighter pilot with the Indian Air
Force. Apparently one day his 'plane was burnt off by a flying yogi.
'life was never the same again'
Life never is.
Peter Harris
--
Lurgi Ergo Sum
http://www.bootup.demon.co.uk/
HellPope Huey
<walk...@MailAndNews.com> wrote:
> It's not just kults, kiddies:
>
> Step 1: "Let's go out for coffe sometime."
> Step 2: ???????
> Step 3: "Where do you want to go for breakfast, hon?"
> The Rev. Dr. Lt. Chaos Israel
> Official Tickling Dummy of the Church of the SubGenius
Step 1: Stir bucket of battery acid containing wrestling action figure
with a stick.
Step 2: Whaddaya mean, Step 2? I'm 46 now, I do what I WAAANNNTTTTT*
Step 3: Fight off the orderlies with all yer might.
HellPope Huey, hellpo...@subgenius.com
Play that funky stomach pump, wide boy
"He made me what I am today."
"Good, now we have someone to blame."
- "Becker"
"Its bad enough to have no immune system,
but having to wear this giant cabbage on my head
is too much!"
- John Travolta, 'The Boy In The Plastic Bubble'
"The only lesson here is
that you should take your medication."
- "Boston Public"
Rev. Magdalen
Peter Harris <pha...@bootup.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:988261705.23683.0...@news.demon.co.uk...
Those wacky yogis! I swear, if they would only come out of the closet and
teach US to fly, we'd do a LOT more than just buzz unsuspecting Indian Air
Force planes!!
Joe Cosby
typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, "Peter Harris" <pha...@bootup.demon.co.uk> laughed
madly, then wrote:
It wouldn't be, would it ...
So, I wonder, if India ever gets in a war, if they'll deploy their
yogi air force. I mean, that would be pretty cool. They could go up
with little can openers. Pop open the cockpit and say "Why no no no,
you silly man!" in those funny sing-song Ghandi accents of theirs.
Damn that would make a decent video game.
"It was rough man; look, I'm still shaking. Fuck. Gimme a drink.
We came in low with the sun at our backs to bomb the Pokrukesh oil
refinery. 1-2-3, simple job, get it done and go home. So we THOUGHT.
Then BAM a flash out of the corner of my eye. My wingman's bird was
spinning out of control, nobody in the cockpit. I looked back just in
time to see the next one go; a little crosslegged man with a long
beard had the cockpit open. He embraced the pilot in an expression of
cosmic love and BAM they were both annihilated in the light of
Nirvana. At least you go quick, that way. Gimme another drink, my
hand's still shaking. I wheeled around low, 200 feet, to get a better
view behind me.
It was like being in the middle of a swarm of locusts. Thousands of
the little fuckers, filling the air like a cloud. You couldn't see
the sun through them. All of'em with that idiotic vacant grin.
Fanatics. Most of'em were bilocating, nothing to lock the chain gun
on. 'Krishna loves you, Krishna loves you!'"
He stops, struck by another fit of trembling.
"I'll hear that in my nightmares. 'Krishna loves you!'
I was flying head-on into'em by that point. The heat-seekers wouldn't
lock, couldn't get a bead with the chain gun.
About then one of'em went into the air intake on my starboard engine.
At least I got one of'em. A second in the turbine and there was a
spray of shredded yogi out the exhaust valve. Then the engine quit;
I hit eject and that's the last thing I remember."
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic to it."
- Goethe
preachermike
"Joe Cosby" <joec...@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com> wrote in message
news:3ae87cf3...@news.mindspring.com...
yer all on fuckin exctasy
pM
William Barwell
SubGenius Spice <sp...@cotse.comquat> wrote:
>In a recent alt.slack clinical trial, 4 out of 5 Rev. Magdalens agreed
>that...
>
>>So, on IRC last night, this guy said he saw a Yogi levitate once (and stop
>>his heart and all those other Yogi feats you hear about) and it inspired him
>>with the thought that if those guys can levitate, it should be possible for
>>anybody to levitate, and perhaps, even to fly.
>
>
>if yogi could do *that*, he'd have all the pickanic baskets he wanted.
All them Maharishi University kooks, after all these years,
still have not achieved more than butt-bouncing. They have been
butt-bouncing for 20 years or more, bouyed by the hopes
and rumors that somewhere, in the past, somebody, somehow
has managed to levitate even if just a bit.
Tales are always theer to keep the suckers butt bouncin',
prayin' to Jeezus, er sumpin'. Idle liars have to tell
idle lies and the hopeful waste their lives as a result.
If it wasn't so pink, it would be funny.
Gurus gather up the ancient lies and use that keep their acolytes
a butt bouncing for their entire lives, futilely.
"Bounce, bounce, bounce, Am I flying yet?"
Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston
Slack!
The PreRev. P.S. NoName
"HellPope Huey" <Hulk...@crappagammabrick.ouch> wrote in message
news:Hulkturds-260...@pool-209-128-155-122.hs.ipa.net...
>
> Step 1: Stir bucket of battery acid containing wrestling action figure
> with a stick.
> Step 2: Whaddaya mean, Step 2? I'm 46 now, I do what I WAAANNNTTTTT*
> Step 3: Fight off the orderlies with all yer might.
>
> HellPope Huey, hellpo...@subgenius.com
> Play that funky stomach pump, wide boy
>
"I'm sorry...here, take the little white cup and swallow down the nice
pill...it'll make you feel better."
I still have snickering fits remembering your comment about Dorkasuarus at
Kmart cramming a Britney Spears doll on his thingy and running around nekked
singing "Like a virgin"......
I'd pay to see that....
or kill me
No...wait...it's Friday. Wait until Monday THEN kill me.
--
PreRev. P. S. NoName
I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a
necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life
through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables
you to laugh at all of life's realities.
-- Theodor S. Geisel, a.k.a. "Dr. Seuss"
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen
Rev. Prostata Cantata
Peter Harris <pha...@bootup.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>During all the recent TV coverage of Kumbh Mela here in the UK they
>interviewed a worshipper who'd been a fighter pilot with the Indian Air
>Force. Apparently one day his 'plane was burnt off by a flying yogi.
I think I see a series hindi kung-fu movies in this....
Lots of singing and dancing for no reason and fight scenes with flying
yogis dealin' JUSTICE to to "bad guys" (prob'ly Pakastani in old MIGs) who
get a taste of instant karma from the fist at the end of a scrawny
underfed arm.
Coming soon to a theater NEAR YOU: "Jain Justice 1: The Sky's the Limit"
Besides... Indian women are HOT.
--
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Columbus is so lame we WISH we had cow tipping"
-Steve Conley at a Brat Mobile concert.
HellPope Huey
joec...@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby) wrote:
> About then one of'em went into the air intake on my starboard engine.
> At least I got one of'em. A second in the turbine and there was a
> spray of shredded yogi out the exhaust valve. Then the engine quit;
> I hit eject and that's the last thing I remember."
> Joe Cosby
Shit, Joe, ya beat me to the "Sure hope a yogi don't get sucked into the
intake" joke. Sick minds DO think alike. Why, just look at Phred. Okay,
don't.
HellPope Huey, hellpo...@subgenius.com
Kiss me, I'm dervish.
"When I have to choose between
drug dealers & missionaries, its hard to root."
- Bill Maher
"Those are just lies I told
to get prescription drugs."
- 'Malcolm In The Middle'
"Just how smart are you?"
"I've got some game."
- "The West Wing"
Gaze upon the raw power of Huey, courtesy of Saint Dok PissOff, PRAISE PissOff.
Same to you.
http://www.zing.com/picture/pa2bcda8c4f567e668d6f05f6b44edfef/ff2f1a7f.jpg.orig.jpg
Joe Cosby
computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, Hulk...@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
laughed madly, then wrote:
>In article <3ae87cf3...@news.mindspring.com>,
>joec...@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com (Joe Cosby) wrote:
>
>
>> About then one of'em went into the air intake on my starboard engine.
>> At least I got one of'em. A second in the turbine and there was a
>> spray of shredded yogi out the exhaust valve. Then the engine quit;
>> I hit eject and that's the last thing I remember."
>> Joe Cosby
>
> Shit, Joe, ya beat me to the "Sure hope a yogi don't get sucked into the
>intake" joke.
Reflexes like a jungle animal.
>Sick minds DO think alike.
This would make a great animation. I haven't done one in months.
>Why, just look at Phred. Okay,
>don't.
>
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
"Your diplomacy is higher than mine!"
"He was being diplomatic and not saying so."
-- Big Gay Gaming Group