My new laptop.
James Kibo Parry
and are now of even more interest to everyone because they're from an
alternate timeline.
///// alternate timeline begins ///////////////////////////////////////////
Sometimes I take my laptop computer with me when I fly, or even when I
ride the subway, because I can answer E-mail and catch up on Usenet and
write and doodle and look at maps. It lets me do something useful with
the time I spend on the road.
But my laptop is really heavy (seven to eight pounds, I think, with two
batteries installed) and it only runs about the duration of one plane
flight and I have to carry around the AC adapter and I worry about my
laptop with all my stuff on it being (a) lost (b) stolen (c) broken (d) heavy.
So, it would be nice to sacrifice some features and have something cheaper
which would be lighter and just serve as a word processor for me to type
text on, even if it couldn't display maps or read E-mail. That way I
wouldn't worry about losing anything expensive full of confidential stuff,
and my shoulder wouldn't hurt after long trips.
I bought another half gigabyte of storage cards (weight: under 1 oz.)
for my digital camera, so that I can take several hundred photos without
having to move them to my computer to free up space. That should
be more than enough space for even a really big photo excursion.
Then, to settle the issue of having something small to type on, I've ordered --
-- and I *know* I'm going to get made fun of --
-- a little plastic word processor.
One of the ones they make kids use in school when they don't want them
to touch anything expensive and want to be sure they can't get on the
Internet to look at porn.
This "smart keyboard" isn't quite as kiddified as a V-Tech "Just Like Daddy's"
toy laptop with a squeaker in it and a pretend mouse attached to it by a
piece of colored twine, but it's still styled to be kid-friendly.
I wanted something with a normal-size (well, laptop-size) keyboard,
so that ruled out all those calculator-size things like pocket organizers.
And I wanted something with long battery life and an actual 80-column
screen (many portable word processors only do 40 columns) and it had
to be really light, so I eventually settled on the Qwerty Calcuscribe Duo
(www.calcuscribe.com.)
It's bluish-purple and melted-looking, with a bright yellow calculator
keyboard sticking out of the front. Although the thing is an actual
word processor (spell checker, cut and paste, search and replace,
80 columns, yadda yadda) the styling of the case makes it clear that
they figure most of the market for this thing will be elementary schools.
(I mean, they expect that we'd be too dumb to do calculator math on
the number keys so it ALSO has that little calculator growing out of it.)
So I think I'll have to do something to make it look a little more
studly, like covering up the kiddie calculator with a "Death From Above"
sticker and painting the case radar-absorbent black, but the Calcuscribe
seems like the perfect solution for the problem of something affordable,
light, and easy to compose text on. It's two and a half pounds, it runs
for 50 hours off three AA batteries, the keyboard seems to be the same size
as my laptop's, and it has an 8-line, 80-column screen. At about $320 for
the Calcuscribe and an adapter to connect it to my computers, it's not
dirt cheap, but it's far cheaper than a Sony Vaio PictureBook (similar
weight, but several times the price) and far lighter than an iBook (twice
the weight.) It can't actually compute, but it should be able to process
words as well as a real computer. The only weakness is that it's limited
to 128K of words, but presumably by the time I've written that much text
I'll be near a computer I can plug it into to upload (it hooks up to
the keyboard port and retypes it into the computer really fast.)
It seems to be a quality product, it's just that I might be above
the age group for which the product designers styled it.
(Incidentally, there are various competing products with similar
capabilities, but most of them have smaller screens or don't run as
long or are only sold in packages of 15 for classroom use. The
single-purpose typewriter-like word processors for grownups seem to be
a thing of the past. I guess laptop computers have crushed that market.
These "smart keyboards" seem to be intended as classroom equipment.)
I think I'll be happy with the CalcuScribe, and carrying around the
CalcuScribe and some extra storage cards for my camera will be much
easier than carrying around my laptop, but I seem to have traded the
problem of "I'm afraid I'll lose my computer" for "I'm afraid people
will be looking at me funny when I type on something purplish-blue with
rounded corners." After all, they already look at me funny when I type
on my REAL computer on the bus. So I'm going to have to do something
about CalcuScribe's case styling.
I'm open to suggestions as to how I should paint, sticker, or otherwise
redecorate this thing in order to make it look more grown-up or at least
more Kibological and less like something that would be used as a prop on
a Nickelodeon show.
It's too bad Big Daddy Roth is dead. He could have made it cool.
He'd cool it up real good.
So, what would YOU do to my CalcuScribe?
-- K.
When my Calcuscribe arrives,
it better not turn out to
have a squeaker.
Still, at least it doesn't
look like the original iBook.
///// alternate timeline ends /////////////////////////////////////////////
I didn't get the CalcuScribe because it turned out that they only accepted
payments via PayPal, and I refuse to sign up for PayPal (I think it's a
bad idea to involve a third party in a large number of my online transactions
with different merchancts, because suddenly this third party gets to track
everything I buy -- and frankly, I don't trust PayPal. Why do they need
to know the three-digit authorization code from the back of my credit card?
I have never been asked for that from any online merchant.) In any case,
I just don't trust doing business with any merchant too rinky-dink to
accept at least one of (a) a credit card (b) a check (c) a money order.
If they're not willing to put a little effort into accepting the coin of
the realm, they clearly aren't very interested in selling me anything, and
I don't like to buy stuff from people who are too lazy or disorganized
to make it easy for me to pay them.
So, I kept my heavy laptop, and I ordered a couple of replacement batteries,
because the two batteries in it are old enough that combined they can only
power it for two or three hours (the batteries are two years old.) But
replacement batteries of that type turned out to not be available until
March, and I'm travelling in January and February, and so it looked like
I had the option of either carrying the extra-heavy laptop (with both
dead batteries installed) or buying a new laptop (major expense, as well as
the hassle of setting up yet another computer and disposing of the old one.)
Then the screen on my laptop started flopping down. The hinge that connects
the screen to the body has weakened (due to a major design flaw) and was
clearly about to break off. With four days before the trip, I needed a
new laptop (I didn't want to be carrying a fragile, broken laptop around --
after going down the conveyor belt at airport security I figured the
screen and body would come out separately.) I considered the Sony Picturebook
(the tiny 2-pound one they use to defeat the aliens in "Godzilla 2000")
and the larger 4-pound Sony Superslim 505 series, but switching to a
Windows laptop in four days didn't seem like an easy task in that time --
and it's nice having all my computers running the same stuff so that
I don't have to buy two sets of software and I can copy settings files
back and forth. So I would get another Apple product, but Steve Jobs was
just about to unveil the new models at noon on Monday (I was leaving
Thursday morning) so I said to myself, "If I want a current model, I'll
have to wait for his speech, then immediately go to the Apple Store in
person and buy whatever he just announced before they run out of it and
I have to wait three months for them to build some more.) My options
were a Titanium Powerbook (expensive, rather fragile, and about 5 pounds)
or the non-ugly 2001-model iBook (inexpensive, sturdy, 5 pounds, but
with a small screen), but the announcements of new products included
an extra-large iBook (14-inch screen, about six pounds) so I ran right
out and got one after they had been on the market about three hours.
It's very similar to my previous laptop in size (and not insanely light,
but every pound makes a difference) but it goes much faster and seems
like it might be more durable in the long run. (Plus it's not broken.)
This model iBook looks like this:
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...only larger, and the smiley is a glowing Apple icon. It's upside-down
exactly half the time, unlike my old laptop, where the glowing Apple icon
was upside-down the other half of the time.
No carrying handle, no rounded corners, no external coloration of
any sort, and especially no fuchsia-and-teal floral print.
So, anyway, I got a bigger, heavier, and more full-featured laptop
than the ones I had originally considered (the plastic toy word-processor,
the really small Sony Picturebook, etc.) but at least this means that
I can run fun games like "Cheerios Playtime" or watch DVDs while I'm
on airplanes. Heck, this thing even has a CD-burner in it, so I
could in theory connect it to the arm of the seat and record bootleg
CDs of the thrilling in-flight entertainment channels.
I expect I'll be using it a lot on these next two flights because
the inflight movies are "Hardball" and "Rush Hour 2". I might enjoy
parts of "Rush Hour 2", unless Chris Tucker is in every scene.
Thankfully, I have Usenet to entertain me. "Hardball" I shall
skip whether it's the Keanu Reeves talk show or the Chris Matthews
baseball movie, especially given that Delta has the nerve to levy
a "five-dollar entertainment charge" rather than what it should be,
"free bottom-of-the-barrel post-HBO movies for captive audiences."
Delta's actual movie blurb:
"'The Bad News Bears' gets updated in 'Hardball'!"
(The other thing Delta shows on the plane -- even on short flights --
is "Only Joking In The Skies", a Quebecois production where annoying
jerks bother passersby on Montreal streets. It's sort of like those
shows where people play practical jokes on hidden-camera victims,
except in this case they just do things like spray people with hoses,
and every one of these allegedly funny actions is performed at least
ten times in a row. At the moment, the screens are showing a woman
with curlers in her hair chasing random pedestrians while waving a
rolling pin. We have to get Etienne Rouette out of Quebec before
the government lobotomizes him.)
-- K.
I hear that PFK stopped serving
Animal 57 -- now it's all BRAINS!
Ben Dinger
"James "Kibo" Parry" <ki...@world.std.com> wrote in message
news:kibo-14010...@1cust21.tnt1.los-angeles.ca.da.uu.net...
Is the Titanium PowerBook really that delicate? I have heard both sides of
the spectrum (i.e. that it's a brick, and that it's worse than a piece of
paper). Just kind of curious, since I'm planning on picking one up here
soon. What do you consider "fragile"? I know the iBook is a vitrual TANK,
but c'mon, is the Ti really that bad?
--
-Ben Dinger
bdi...@yahoo.com
Athlon T-Bird 750, Celeron 400 (LUN1X COMPUT4R!)
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Joe Manfre
> This model iBook looks like this:
[snip ASCII art]
> ...only larger, and the smiley is a glowing Apple icon. It's
> upside-down exactly half the time, unlike my old laptop, where the
> glowing Apple icon was upside-down the other half of the time.
>
> No carrying handle, no rounded corners, no external coloration of
> any sort, and especially no fuchsia-and-teal floral print.
That's too bad. I've always thought they should make a laptop that
looked like one of those little portable record players from the 1970s
that were built into a cloth-covered pasteboard suitcase-like thing
with a loose-hinged white plastic handle. Would any bad guy ever
steal one of those? You wouldn't even need to put such a laptop in
that kiddie notebook cover thing that you say you use for your laptops,
Kibo. In fact, I was going to advocate a pasteboard record-player
cover design for the CalcuScribe until it turned out that you had
just TRICKED US into thinking you were buying the CalcuScribe. (And
no, I did *not* read your little introduction at the beginning, thank
you very much!)
JM
WHOSE TITAN ELBOW
05:00:43 GMT]
CalcuScribe looks like the Model 100 replacement I've been
dreaming about for umpteen-many years now. Nevertheless, current
plans call for the aquisition of the Zaurus or the Yopy or some
other such Embedded Linux PDA that has a USB port (for a near-
normal-size keybarod).
> I didn't get the CalcuScribe because it turned out that they
> only accepted payments via PayPal, and I refuse to sign up
> for PayPal
PayPal is Satan's Ebay.
--
CRGRE
"This (the UPnP vulnerability) is the first network-based,
remote compromise that I'm aware of for Windows desktop
systems." Scott Culp, manager of Microsoft's security response
center
Blarg
>
>That's too bad. I've always thought they should make a laptop that
>looked like one of those little portable record players from the 1970s
I still like my Mac Portable. It does all I want to do - sometimes I
can even run MacDraw! I'm happy I never upgraded to System 4.5 (with
Finder 5.4)
Tom Tom Harrington
> Is the Titanium PowerBook really that delicate? I have heard both sides of
> the spectrum (i.e. that it's a brick, and that it's worse than a piece of
> paper). Just kind of curious, since I'm planning on picking one up here
> soon. What do you consider "fragile"? I know the iBook is a vitrual TANK,
> but c'mon, is the Ti really that bad?
Not in my experience. Mine's only a month or so old, but it has
survived air travel while shoved in a backpack without trouble. Some
of the very first models had trouble with their batteries losing
contact, but that was fixed almost a year ago.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"If you're in outer space, don't feel out of place,
'cause there are thousands of others like you." - B-52s
Joe Manfre
> Mine's only a month or so old, but it has survived air travel while
> shoved in a backpack without trouble.
When I first started reading that sentence -- as usual, I hadn't
bothered reading the part you'd quoted -- I thought you were talking
about a new child of yours or something. Then it got really weird
once I got more than halfway through the sentence.
JM
David Pacheco
angeles.ca.da.uu.net>, ki...@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
said a bunch of stuff, including:
> I wanted something with a normal-size (well, laptop-size) keyboard,
> so that ruled out all those calculator-size things like pocket organizers.
> And I wanted something with long battery life and an actual 80-column
> screen (many portable word processors only do 40 columns) and it had
> to be really light, so I eventually settled on the Qwerty Calcuscribe Duo
It's too late now, but I bought the IBM WorkPad Z50 for this
exact subset of reasons: light, 10+ hour battery life,
reasonable facsimile of a real computer, and everything you
really need when you're on the road: "light" versions of Word,
Excel and email. Unfortunately, no Usenet.
It runs Windows CE, and is almost the same size as my ThinkPad.
The keyboard is the same (well, 95%), the screen is a tiny bit
smaller. Compact Flash memory slot, plus a PCMCIA slot, so you
can stick in a microdrive if you want. Only 640x480, but good
enough, even if it is DSTN passive. Built-in 56k modem.
No, it's not a replacement for your desktop or your laptop, but
it's a good companion piece, and at only 2.6 pounds it's
convenient to lug around. No, the versions of Excel and Word
aren't fully-fledged, but they are perfectly acceptable for
typing in a bunch of text with only light formatting (bold,
italic, buttons), and no conversion required to open in the full
versions of the software. Instant on.
Yes, it runs CE, but don't think souped-up iPaq: think toned-
down ThinkPad.
Best of all? Only cost me $285.
Unfortunately, IBM doesn't make 'em any more. But I'll sell you
mine.
- david pacheco
gergen
> I didn't get the CalcuScribe because it turned out that they only
> accepted payments via PayPal, and I refuse to sign up for PayPal
[...]
> the announcements of new products included an extra-large iBook (14-inch
> screen, about six pounds) so I ran right out and got one after they had
> been on the market about three hours.
So I guess it's too late to say:
GET AN eMATE!!!1!!1!11!
At least I get to play with my ex's 14" laptop (huh-huh, I said "least")
because I'm her tech support. Of course their will have to be a lot of
on the job training because I've never used OSX and if it's Yoonix,
she'd better have zsh on there, oh and egcs and nethack and...
gergen
--
"Dear Mr. Valenti,
I like your cheeks."
Brian 'Jarai' Chase
David Pacheco <dpac...@iname.com> wrote:
> It's too late now, but I bought the IBM WorkPad Z50 for this
> exact subset of reasons: light, 10+ hour battery life,
> reasonable facsimile of a real computer, and everything you
> really need when you're on the road: "light" versions of Word,
> Excel and email. Unfortunately, no Usenet.
You can run the NetBSD/hpcmips port on it. I think they've got X11
support for it as well. I debated between the z50 and a second hand
ThinkPad 240. I went with the 240 though. Still, it would be nice
to have the battery life of the z50.
-jarai.
--
--- Brian Chase | b...@world.std.com | http://world.std.com/~bdc/ -----
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Los Angeles-> *_,--._/
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