Confession of an Altar Boy (long)
Lord Slime
Confession of an Altar Boy
-------------------------------------
April, 2002
American Bishop Apologizes for Abuse, Pope calls it 'A Crime'.
A bit too late, I think as I read the headlines. Perhaps if I'd
known sooner. The media is aflame with stories of priests abusing
innocent boys. Everyday someone new comes forward with their
account of how a priest molested and scarred them for life. So I
guess it's time for me to come forward and tell my tale.
It was two years ago that the Priest caught my attention. From
the summit of the Rectory he stood there, beckoning to me to climb
inside his robe. Now the name Honeymoon Chimney seems particularly
apropos.
My partner is Matthias, a 17-year-old German exhange student who
had previously done only a few pitches in the desert. But after
watching him climb in Indian Creek for three days, I have no
worries that he'll do fine on this climb.
After cobbling together route and gear information from many
sources, we're ready. However, a fateful mistake by Eric B. in
Desert Rock III is our doom: we take only one 60m rope.
As I look up the first pitch I think of Brutus's email. He
couldn't remember if he did it left or right side in. Maybe left.
Normally I'd say left too, but there's a bunch of face holds on
the left, so I start right-side-in. Fifteen minutes later I give
up on that, and allow myself to slowly slide back down the OW to
the ledge. Even though I have a thick rugby shirt on, my right
elbow now has a large floor-burn; first blood to the Priest.
We had run into fellow r.c'er Mitch Allen at Indian Creek, and
during the course of the conversations I told him of our plans for
the Priest. "Oh, that's a really good route", he said then paused.
"Actually, it made me puke. But it's a really good route." His
story of projectile vomiting after the offwidth reminded me of the
priest in The Exorcist.
After a rest I start up again, left side in. This goes much
better, except that it's very strenuous. You see, I've got small
feet (9.5) for my size (42" chest). If I had bigger feet, I could
heel-toe in a more vertical position. But as it is, I can only
get my chest in to my left nipple (I have a bruise there) and my
feet have to go deep into the crack to get purchase. Thus, I'm
climbing overhanging offwidth the entire way. It takes me about
an hour and several thousand calories to finish the pitch.
That skinny punk Matt can get totally inside the crack, both
hands and both feet! It takes him maybe 15 minutes to finish
the pitch. I'm bummed.
We're inside the Priest's robe. It's like being inside a narrow
room with a cathedral ceiling and a skylight at the top. Matt
starts chimneying with no pro. He finds a drilled angle, and
a cam placement, but it's still a wild lead to the next ledge.
Under the sky once more, I start up the notorius crux pitch.
Being tall and reasonably limber, I can bridge across the gap and
get my foot on a good hold on the upper tower, with my hands and
other foot on the lower tower. A no-hands move will get me across,
but the wind is blasting through the gap, and for several minutes I
just cower there waiting for a break. After getting across I study
the 11b face sequence above. I think I have it, but I don't, and
take a fall. Damn! Try again... Damn! The third time I find a
key foothold... that works, clip, done.
But I get some revenge on Matt. He's a bit too short to make the
bridge I did, the wind is knocking him around, and did I mention
the exposure there is pretty huge? He grabs the quickdraws and
is soon on the ledge.
Matt grabs the rack and starts up a fingercrack above the belay.
Since it has chalk all over it, and it's supposed to be 5.8, he
doesn't check the guide. After a couple falls we're both amazed.
So I fumble the guide out of my pocket... oh, the crack we want
is around the corner.
Once on the summit, an approaching storm means a hurried entry
in the log, some quick summit photos, and a rap down to the
next ledge with the rope clipped in loops on my harness. Our
60m barely reaches, and as I clip in, I lose one of the ends
and it blows out of sight around the tower. I yell up to Matt
to pull up that side of the rope, but the wind makes it
difficult. He pulls up the end but then tosses it down; gone
again. I manage to convey the idea that he must coil that end
and bring it with him. He does and fianlly we're both on the
ledge ready for the final rap.
Matt is halfway down when he looks up at me, "The rope doesn't
reach!" After appropiate cursing, since the storm is almost
upon us, I tell him to rap into the chimney and anchor to a
chockstone, most of which have slings on them (which makes
sense now!). I follow, but the wind, which is now gale force
between the towers, has blown the ropes into some sort of
constriction, and we can't pull the ropes.
I clip into a knot in the ropes and re-lead the final moves
into the narrow room, then bring Matt up. The wind is blowing
our voices away and rain is going sideways through the gap.
Clipping into the ropes again, I climb back up the chimney
until I can free the ropes and get on rappel. Then I
pendulum back into the room (ever pendulum in a chimney?)
and rap down to Matt.
By the time we set up on a chockstone and rap to our packs
about two hours have passed since we left the ledge. The
storm is gone, but it's still windy and we cheer when the
rope end slaps the ground next to us. Everything seems
fine, but the Priest isn't through abusing me yet.
I'm coiling the rope when WHACK! I'm in the fetal position
when realization comes to me; I've been hit in the head with
a rock. "Are you okay?" "No."
I look at my hand and it's covered in blood. I take my hat
off and see Matt's eyes go wide. Blood is flowing down my
forehead and into my eyes and ears. I tell Matt to get
bandages out of my pack, and we staunch the bleeding. I'm
scared but still thinking, so I get on my radio to call Suz
for help.
I'm really worried that I may have a concussion and pass out
or get stupid at an unlucky time (I've told Matt many times
that the approaches here can kill you.). I tell Suz to send
someone up the trail to meet us. Matt takes all the weight
and we start back towards Castleton, while I remind him of
all the symptoms of concussion. If I start acting weird,
sit on me and wait for help.
Luckily I'm not badly hurt, and I walk all the way down.
A mob of people meet us a two thirds of the way up the
Castleton trail and escort us to the cars. The doctor in
Moab is totally upbeat about my condition and puts in 6
staples while telling me what a great conversation piece
the scar will be when I'm old and lose my hair.
All we can figure is that pulling the rope down the chimney
loosened a rock, but it didn't fall right away. The wind
must've finished the job. It's a great route. It almost
killed me, but it's a great route.
Honeymoon Chimney, The Priest, Castle Valley.
BigBros #3 & 4
One set Friends, #1-#3
Set of nuts, 1/2" to 1.5"
Dozen quickdraws, 8 slings
TWO ROPES!
elmar
e. stefke
Julie
> nice t.r. and time for a helmet...
>
> Lord Slime wrote:
> >
> > I'm coiling the rope when WHACK! I'm in the fetal position
> > when realization comes to me; I've been hit in the head with
> > a rock. "Are you okay?" "No."
It was a cry for attention - he wonders whether we (still) love him.
JSH, cross-threading.
(Thanks for the TR!)
Frank Stock
The wind was still screaming up there.
> After a rest I start up again, left side in. This goes much
> better, except that it's very strenuous. You see, I've got small
> feet (9.5) for my size (42" chest). If I had bigger feet, I could
> heel-toe in a more vertical position. But as it is, I can only
> get my chest in to my left nipple (I have a bruise there) and my
> feet have to go deep into the crack to get purchase. Thus, I'm
> climbing overhanging offwidth the entire way. It takes me about
> an hour and several thousand calories to finish the pitch.
I could not figure it out for the life of me. I guess I am obviously
to fat for my feet size and did not fit in either side to well.
Finally I laid back to the bolt, sort of faced in and slithered to the
pin, and then managed to flip around, left side in, and slip into the
chimney. The first 30 feet were definately the crux, as the third
pitch went A0.
> Once on the summit, an approaching storm means a hurried entry
> in the log, some quick summit photos, and a rap down to the
> next ledge with the rope clipped in loops on my harness. Our
> 60m barely reaches, and as I clip in,
Good to know. We used two ropes and it looked like we would just make
it with rope stretch. Next time I leave the second rope on the huge
belay ledge at P1.
> Matt is halfway down when he looks up at me, "The rope doesn't
> reach!" After appropiate cursing, since the storm is almost
> upon us, I tell him to rap into the chimney and anchor to a
> chockstone, most of which have slings on them (which makes
> sense now!). I follow, but the wind, which is now gale force
> between the towers, has blown the ropes into some sort of
> constriction, and we can't pull the ropes.
>
> I clip into a knot in the ropes and re-lead the final moves
> into the narrow room, then bring Matt up. The wind is blowing
> our voices away and rain is going sideways through the gap.
> Clipping into the ropes again, I climb back up the chimney
> until I can free the ropes and get on rappel. Then I
> pendulum back into the room (ever pendulum in a chimney?)
> and rap down to Matt.
From the top of P1 we went off the backside where the wind actually
blew the ropes in a good direction. Something we read in the summit
register clued us in to that. A very brief walk on a trail brought us
around to our packs.
> I'm coiling the rope when WHACK! I'm in the fetal position
> when realization comes to me; I've been hit in the head with
> a rock. "Are you okay?" "No."
>
> I look at my hand and it's covered in blood. I take my hat
> off and see Matt's eyes go wide. Blood is flowing down my
> forehead and into my eyes and ears. I tell Matt to get
> bandages out of my pack, and we staunch the bleeding. I'm
> scared but still thinking, so I get on my radio to call Suz
> for help.
Wow! My partner pointed out a large blood stain at the base-you were
bleeding like a stuck hog judging by the stain. It added an weird
feel when starting up. Glad you are OK. Apparenly you scared all the
ghosts off as it was pretty uneventful.
>
>
> Honeymoon Chimney, The Priest, Castle Valley.
> BigBros #3 & 4
> One set Friends, #1-#3
> Set of nuts, 1/2" to 1.5"
> Dozen quickdraws, 8 slings
> TWO ROPES!
We really screwed the pooch by only having 10 slings. Lots of rope
drag on the crux pitch, between the traverse, climbing up, and
traversing back. We also only had a single #4 BigBro. I thought one
more that size would be nice, but I am not sure where you would put a
#3? I dont think either of us placed a stopper either. I guess we
placed a #5 camalot behind the flake on P1, but was dropped 10 feet to
the ground by the second.
Agree that it is a good route and actually a chimney I will repeat.
Glad you got out ok. That is a long, exposed walk out with a
concussion.
Cheers,
Frank
Adam
"Lord Slime" <jbyr...@SPAMfriiPLEASE.com> wrote in message
news:3cd01efd$0$184$7586...@news.frii.net...
(snip an unusually positive L.S. post)
> After a rest I start up again, left side in. This goes much
> better, except that it's very strenuous. You see, I've got small
> feet (9.5) for my size (42" chest).
I never pondered the implications of this ratio before. My feet are one
half size smaller and my chest is 1" larger. Do I actually have a valid
excuse to avoid O.W. and pass the lead to my partners? Because that'd be
fuckin sweet.
A.
Geoff Jennings
least the last time I wore a Tux.
Glad to hear you're ok Slime. that's scary.
Taking off my helmet is normally about the first thing I do when my feet
touch the ground.
Geoff
--
____
PLEASE NOTICE:
My Email address has changed to
Ge...@texaskilonewton.com
"Adam" <as...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:1M_z8.6413$xv1...@rwcrnsc51.ops.asp.att.net...
N42461
>nice t.r. and time for a helmet...
Yeah, so it could get stuck before his chest did.....oh, and he could polish it
....
Most wonderful TR, and current events topical as well....
nathan sweet
Phil Box
"Lord Slime" <jbyr...@SPAMfriiPLEASE.com> wrote in message
news:3cd01efd$0$184$7586...@news.frii.net...
>
> -------------------------------------
> April, 2002
snip>
> I'm coiling the rope when WHACK! I'm in the fetal position
> when realization comes to me; I've been hit in the head with
> a rock. "Are you okay?" "No."
>
> I look at my hand and it's covered in blood. I take my hat
> off and see Matt's eyes go wide. Blood is flowing down my
> forehead and into my eyes and ears.
snip
Ehh, no helmet. Oh I forgot, it`s hard to wear a helmet when you`ve got a
pony tail ;)
Just kidding, it`s great to read about someone getting in there and
thrutching and getting dirty and bruised although I had the impression that
you were the sporto type, dunno why. Another excellent TR, bravo, bravo.
...Phil...
Lord Slime
> We did this route the day after you according to the summit register.
> The wind was still screaming up there.
I'll bet.
> > After a rest I start up again, left side in. This goes much
> > better, except that it's very strenuous.
>
> I could not figure it out for the life of me. I guess I am obviously
> to fat for my feet size and did not fit in either side to well.
> Finally I laid back to the bolt, sort of faced in and slithered to the
> pin, and then managed to flip around, left side in, and slip into the
> chimney. The first 30 feet were definately the crux, as the third
> pitch went A0.
Laybacking that is a bold lead my friend. Did you at least
clip the bolt first?
> > Once on the summit, an approaching storm means a hurried entry
> > in the log, some quick summit photos, and a rap down to the
> > next ledge with the rope clipped in loops on my harness. Our
> > 60m barely reaches, and as I clip in,
>
> Good to know. We used two ropes and it looked like we would just make
> it with rope stretch. Next time I leave the second rope on the huge
> belay ledge at P1.
Yup. That's my beta too.
> From the top of P1 we went off the backside where the wind actually
> blew the ropes in a good direction. Something we read in the summit
> register clued us in to that. A very brief walk on a trail brought us
> around to our packs.
Right. But I had one rope, and I didn't know/couldn't see if it
would reach, since the ground seems to be quite a bit lower
on that side. Anyone know?
> > I'm coiling the rope when WHACK! I'm in the fetal position
> > when realization comes to me; I've been hit in the head with
>
> Wow! My partner pointed out a large blood stain at the base-you were
> bleeding like a stuck hog judging by the stain. It added an weird
> feel when starting up. Glad you are OK. Apparenly you scared all the
> ghosts off as it was pretty uneventful.
I had this experience at Indian Creek one year. Heading up to 3AM
Crack, we encounter a Swiss group coming down in a hurry, one of
them bleeding profusely from the head. When we get to the climb,
we realize he took a fall here, and hit his head. Climbing past the
bloodstain was eeire.
> > Honeymoon Chimney, The Priest, Castle Valley.
> > BigBros #3 & 4
> > One set Friends, #1-#3
> > Set of nuts, 1/2" to 1.5"
> > Dozen quickdraws, 8 slings
> > TWO ROPES!
>
> We really screwed the pooch by only having 10 slings. Lots of rope
> drag on the crux pitch, between the traverse, climbing up, and
> traversing back.
Hmmm... I didn't have much. But then I used some "longer" draws
and Screamers.
> We also only had a single #4 BigBro. I thought one
> more that size would be nice, but I am not sure where you would put a
> #3?
I put it between the bolt and the pin, as I make it a rule not to trust 1/4"
bolts in desert rock, even with a screamer.
> I dont think either of us placed a stopper either. I guess we
> placed a #5 camalot behind the flake on P1,
You mean the detached flake right off the ground? I placed a nut.
We used nuts on the 1st, second, third and fourth pitches, and to backup the
belay at the top of the third! Nice fixed gear there, eh?! ;-)
> Agree that it is a good route and actually a chimney I will repeat.
Yeah, but next time I'm having some skinny person lead
the OW!
> Glad you got out ok. That is a long, exposed walk out with a
> concussion.
Luckily, I didn't have one!
- Lord Slime
Lord Slime
> No whining boys. I have size 8 feet, and a chest that is about 48", at
> least the last time I wore a Tux.
Ack! No Harding Slot for you!
> Glad to hear you're ok Slime. that's scary.
Thanks.
> Taking off my helmet is normally about the first thing I do when my feet
> touch the ground.
I'd already taken off my harness, put on shorts, changed my shoes and
packed most of my pack!
- Lord Slime
Nate B
"Lord Slime"
> "Frank Stock"
> > Good to know. We used two ropes
> > and it looked like we would just make
> > it with rope stretch. Next time I leave
> > the second rope on the huge
> > belay ledge at P1.
>
> Yup. That's my beta too.
Another strategy it to leave your second rope on the ground. The first guy
does a single line rap then ties the second rope on for the second guy to
rig. This is what we did on this route. Of course, this route is unique in
that nobody wanted to climb that first pitch with an extra rope, and all the
other raps are short.
- Nate
Phil Box
"Lord Slime" <jbyr...@SPAMfriiPLEASE.com> wrote in message
news:3cd01efd$0$184$7586...@news.frii.net...
>
> -------------------------------------
> April, 2002
snip>
> I'm coiling the rope when WHACK! I'm in the fetal position
> when realization comes to me; I've been hit in the head with
> a rock. "Are you okay?" "No."
>
> I look at my hand and it's covered in blood. I take my hat
> off and see Matt's eyes go wide. Blood is flowing down my
> forehead and into my eyes and ears.
kreighton
"Lord Slime" wrote
> I'd already taken off my harness, put on shorts, changed my shoes and
> packed most of my pack!
Spooky man, don't think I'd have had my helmet on then. Great TR - the
Priest, et. al. beckoned a few weeks when I drove down through there -
sounds like I'll have to get down that way this year.
Thanks for the read and I'm glad to hear you're alright!
kreighton
Jeremy the Sumo Climber
Heh. You guys have _no_ excuse.
- Sumo, 44 inch chest, size 7 shoes
Jeremy the Sumo Climber
>
>
> I'd already taken off my harness, put on shorts, changed my shoes and
> packed most of my pack!
Nice TR John, glad to here you're still with us ;-)
- Sumo
Christian :?
Is this the new replacement for the "ape index"?
Cheers,
Christian :?)
Frank Stock
> Right. But I had one rope, and I didn't know/couldn't see if it
> would reach, since the ground seems to be quite a bit lower
> on that side. Anyone know?
>
We passed the midpoint on the 60 Meter ropes we used before we hit the
ground, and there was not an intermediate rap station. Two ropes
required.
Cheers,
Frank
Sue
:? <cj...@my-deja.com> wrote:
Oh its just too tempting to resist. Men posting their shoe sizes on
rec.climbing. Now thats a REAL confession. You know what they say
about men with small feet.
hee hee
Sue
Jeremy the Sumo Climber
news:020520021625410815%shopkin...@ucsd.edu...
>
>
> Oh its just too tempting to resist. Men posting their shoe sizes on
> rec.climbing. Now thats a REAL confession. You know what they say
> about men with small feet.
>
That they have bigger penises?
- Sumo
Brent Ware
> You know what they say
> about men with small feet.
Small shoes?
-bw
Phu Kyou
> >
> > Confession of an Altar Boy
> > -------------------------------------
> > April, 2002
Bravo! Very good story! I like much to reading!
Phu
Lord Slime
> Another strategy it to leave your second rope on the ground. The first guy
> does a single line rap then ties the second rope on for the second guy to
> rig. This is what we did on this route. Of course, this route is unique in
> that nobody wanted to climb that first pitch with an extra rope, and all the
> other raps are short.
Good idea.
- Lord Slime
Keith Sharp
On Monday, I lead the OW right side in, thinking the vertical edge
would be good for left hand side-pulls. As Frank can attest, it took
lots of grunting and groaning. The following Saturday one of our
party, John, lead it left side in. John is a horse anyway, but I tried
his way up to the sloping ledge between the bolt and pin. I went much
better, with my back and left foot against the vertical edge and the
right foot on the edge (no feet inside the OW for most of this
section). But the upper half goes better as a layback, where the
handholds are sharper and some edges appear on the far wall for the
feet, until one can squeeze inside.
>
> Under the sky once more, I start up the notorius crux pitch.
> Being tall and reasonably limber, I can bridge across the gap and
> get my foot on a good hold on the upper tower, with my hands and
> other foot on the lower tower.
I laugh now at how intimidated I was of the "full body stem." I
imagined 100' of unprotected chimney widening to the top, at which
point one must leap across and grab some microedges to avoid rattling
down the chimney. Hah! I clipped 2, maybe 3, bolts/pins before having
to commit. Cool moves, particularly with the wind blasting through the
gap.
>
>
> Honeymoon Chimney, The Priest, Castle Valley.
> BigBros #3 & 4
> One set Friends, #1-#3
> Set of nuts, 1/2" to 1.5"
> Dozen quickdraws, 8 slings
> TWO ROPES!
On the second trip, we took a set of Camalots #0.1 to #3 and 16
slings. If I were to lead the OW again, I would feel better with a #5
Camalot for the initial block (easiest on the right) and two #4 Big
Bros for the OW. Then stash the boat anchors at the top of the pitch.
Nice TR! Nice climb! Glad you didn't slip on the marbles between the
Rectory and Castleton.
Keith
Lord Slime
> On Monday, I lead the OW right side in...
> But the upper half goes better as a layback, where the
> handholds are sharper and some edges appear on the far wall for the
> feet, until one can squeeze inside.
Really? Maybe if I had climbed it before, as you had, and knew
what to expect I might have laybacked it. But it never occured to
me, and I would say that's *way* scary without pro!
> ... If I were to lead the OW again, I would feel better with a #5
> Camalot for the initial block (easiest on the right)...
Huh. I did the left side, where there's a nut placement on the left.
- Lord Slime