Jose Chung: Best Lines *SPOILER*
sher...@uvic.ca
for it. Hope you enjoy it - feel free to email me for best lines for all
other Darin Morgan eps. (And, yes, that is how "Roky" is spelled - check
his 'manifes-to' ;-)
Jose Chung's From Outer Space
(***** indicates a switch to or from a flashback scene in the middle of dialogue)
Chrissy: Harold, what are those things?
Harold: How the hell should I know?
"Alien" #1: Jack, what is that thing?
Jack: How the hell should I know?
Chung: I never really thought much about it before. I guess that's because I
always felt like such an alien myself, that to be concerned with aliens from other planets - that just seemed so...redundant.
Scully: Well, I never actually considered it much myself before I started this job.
Scully: What made you decide to write a book on an alien abduction if you're not that interested in the subject matter?
Chung: Truthfully? It was my publisher's idea. At first I was reluctant until I realized that I had an opportunity here to create an entirely
new literary genre - the non-fiction science fiction. And that gimmick alone will guarantee its landing on the best-seller list. In
short, to answer your question - money.
Scully: Just so long as you're attempting to record the truth.
Chung: God no - how could I possibly do that?
Scully: Her body exhibited signs of physical abuse, and all of her clothes were on inside out and backwards.
Chung: Huh, have I had my share of mornings like that
Chung: Do you prefer the term abductee, or experiencer?
Scully: Actually, I prefer neither but my partner uses abductee.
Chung: My preference is for the other. "I've just had a little alien experience" as opposed to "I've just been abducted!".
Hypnotist: What is he saying?
Chrissy: He's telling me this is for the good of my planet, but...
Hypnotist: But what?
Chrissy: I don't like what he's doing - like he can see inside my mind, like... He's stealing my memories.
Mulder: The description of the aliens, the physical exam, the mind scan, the presence of another human being that appears switched off;
all characteristic of a typical abduction.
Scully: That's my problem with it Mulder, it's all a little too typical. Abduction lore has become so prevalent in our society that you can
ask someone to imagine what it would be like to be abducted and they'd concoct an identical scenario.
Det. Manners: Well, thanks a lot! You really bleeped up this case!
*********
Scully: Well, of course he didn't actually say bleeped, he said...
Chung: I'm, uh, familiar with, uh, Detective Manners's colourful phraseology.
Mulder: You still gonna hold the boy?
Manners: Oh, you bet your blankety-blank bleep I am.
Mulder: But the victim seems to confirms his alibi.
Manners: The hell she did. Those kids' stories couldn't be more bleeping different.
Mulder: What about the other alien, the grey? What was it doing during all this?
Harold: It was just talking
Mulder: Telepathically?
Harold: No, in English. He just kept saying the same thing over and over again.
*********
Alien: This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening.
Harold: Would you shut up already!
Scully: Harold, did you and Chrissy engage in consentual sexual intercourse that night?
Harold: [pause] If her father finds out, I'm a dead man.
Mulder: He said it happened before the abduction. So what if they had sex?
Scully: So we know that it wasn't an alien that probed her.
Manners: Hey! I just got a call from some crazy bleep-head claiming he was an eyewitness to this alien abduction. Feel like talking to this
blank-hole?
Roky: [After giving them his manuscript of his eyewitness account] But I feel that I should warn you, I don't want to be overly dramatic
here but by looking at this, you're putting your lives in danger.
Mulder: Why is that?
Roky: Because last night, the weirdest thing happened.
*********
[Roky is in the garage writing, a large black car screeches in and the garage door shuts. Car window rolls down to reveal Man in Black #1]
MIB #1: No other object has been misidentified as a flying saucer more often than the planet Venus.
Roky: Really?
*********
Roky: That...was when I realized something was weird.
Scully: At which point?
Roky: See, normally, if two strangers drive into my garage I tell them to get the hell off the property, but this time I didn't! It was like I
was in a trance or something.
MIB #1: Even the former leader of your United States of America, James Earl Carter, Jr., thought he saw a UFO once. But it's been
proven he only saw the planet Venus.
Roky: I'm a republican.
MIB #1: Your scientists have yet to discover how neural networks create self-consciousness, let alone how the human brain processes
two dimensional retinal images into the three-dimensional phenomenon know as perception. Yet you somehow brazenly
declare, seeing is believing!?
Roky: You can't threaten me.
MIB #1: I just did.
Mulder: [Reading from Roky's manuscript] "...Before I knew it I was aboard the hover-vessel and heading not into outer space, but into
inner space, towards the Earth's molten core, for that is the domain of the third alien, whose name he soon told me...was
Lord...Kinbote."
*********
Scully: In short, Roky showed signs of being what is known as a fantasy-prone personality.
Chung: Agent Scully, you are so kind-hearted. He's a nut! I just read his manifesto.
Scully: How did you get a copy?
Chung: One was sent to my publisher. I don't know what was most disturbing, the description of the inner core, reincarnated souls...sex
orgy, or the fact that the whole thing is written in screenplay format.
Scully: It definitely was peculiar.
Chung: Surely your partner didn't believe any of it.
Scully: Well, Mulder's had his share of peculiar notions. He's not inclined to dismiss anything outright.
*********
Scully: Mulder, you're nuts!
Mulder: I'm not saying he isn't delusional, I'm just suggesting that his delusional state was triggered by something he actually witnessed that
night.
Airforce Personnel #1: [from Chrissy's second hypnosis session] Ask her if this third alien had a Russian accent.
AP #2: This is way beyond their capabilities. This is way beyond *our* capabilities.
AP #3: Ask her if she knows where the grey alien's saucer went to.
AP #2: How is she going to know that?
AP #1: Have we located any of the others?
AP #2: We're combing the area, but this weather makes it tough.
AP #1: All right. Rinse her out. Give her the usual abduction rigmarole.
*********
Hypnotist: What is the doctor doing now?
Chrissy: He's telling me this is for the good of my country. I don't like what he's doing. He's stealing my memories.
Manners: Hey, I just got a call from some crazy blankety-blank claiming he found a real-live dead alien body.
Blaine: I know how this is going to sound, but, I wanna be abducted by aliens.
Chung: Why? Whatever for?
Blaine: I hate this town. I hate...people. I just wanna be taken away to some place where I...I don't have to worry about finding a job.
Blaine: Now, I've read every book ever written about UFOs and aliens, not because I had to but because I wanted to. I should have
known just to go and get my video camera then instead of notifying the proper authorities.
Chung: What was wrong with doing that?
*********
Blaine: Because the proper authorities showed up with a couple of Men in Black. One of them was disguised as a woman but wasn't
pulling it off. Like her hair was red, but it was a little too red, you know? And the other one, the tall, lanky one...his face was so
blank and expressionless. He didn't even seem human. I think he was a mandroid. The only time he reacted was when he saw
the dead body.
Mulder: Yelp!
Manners: Yeah, that's a bleeping dead alien body if I ever bleeping saw one.
Blaine: [Being restrained by Manners from filming the autopsy] Hey, the people have a right to know. Roswell! Roswell!
Yappi: [On autopsy video] "Is this actual footage of the alien autopsy? Or simply a well-made hoax?"
Chung: So this is footage of the actual autopsy you performed?
Scully: It's *so* embarrassing.
Yappi: "Who is that mysterious man who seems to be overseeing the proceedings? And what secret government agency does this
autopsy doctor work for?"
Scully: But see, whoever got a hold of this footage edited it in such a way as to delete all the significant findings!
*********
Scully: [During autopsy] There appear to be two layers of epidermis. There's a metal strip that runs just under the top layer. It's a
zipper.
Chung: Aren't you nervous telling me all this, after receiving all those death threats?
Blaine: Well hey, I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.
Chung: Oh.
Lt. Shafer: You ever flown a flying saucer?
Mulder: [shakes head]
Lt. Shafer: Afterwards, sex seems trite.
Mulder: But if alien abductions are just a covert intelligence operation and UFOs are merely secret military airships piloted by 'aliens' such
as yourself, then what were you abducted by?
Lt. Shafer: Don't you get it? I'm absolutely positive me, my co-pilot, and those two kids were abducted. But I can't be absolutely sure it
happened. I can't be absolutely sure of anything anymore.
Lt. Shafer: [When MIBs show up to take him] Well, looks like I'm a dead man.
Mulder: Wait a minute, wait a minute. It can't all be fake memory implantation, what about that third alien? What was that thing?
Lt. Shafer: Who? Lord Kinbote?
Chung: That is odd. Because almost every day I was there I ate lunch at that diner. And became dear friends with the cook. He told me
a story about the night you're talking about. A man came into his place, sat down, ordered sweet potato pie, identified himself as
FBI Agent Mulder. He then questioned my friend.
*********
Mulder: You ever seen a UFO in these parts?
[cook shakes head]
Chung: [Voice-over] He then ordered piece after piece, each time asking another question.
Mulder: Have you ever experienced a period of missing time?
[cook shakes head]
Have you ever had the suspicion that you've been abducted by aliens?
[cook shakes head]
Have you ever found a metal implant in your body?
[cook shakes head]
Did you check everywhere?
[cook nods head]
*********
Chung: He ate a whole pie in that fashion. Then got up and left. My friend never saw him again. The cook never mentioned any Lt.
Shafer, never mind any other Air Force personnel. You seem non-non-plussed by these contradictions.
Scully: Well, not after what happened when Mulder left the diner and got back to the motel.
Mulder: Where's Scully?
MIB #1: Oh...she, uh...she went to get some ice.
Mulder: Where is she?! [Scully enters with ice bucket] Scully, what's going on here?
Scully: Mulder, this gentleman has something very important to tell you.
MIB #1: Some alien encounters are hoaxes perpetrated by your government to manipulate the public. Some of these hoaxes are
intentionally revealed to manipulate the truth-seekers who become discredited if they disclose the deliberately absurd deception.
Mulder: Similar things are said about the Men in Black. That they purposely dress and behave strangely so that if anyone tries to describe
an encounter with them they come off sounding like a lunatic.
MIB #1: I find absolutely no reason why anyone would think you crazy if you described this meeting of ours.
MIB #2: [turning to Mulder] You're feeling very sleepy, very relaxed.
**********
Chung: Alex Trebek?! The game show host?!
Scully: Mulder didn't say that it *was* Alex Trebek. It was just someone who looked incredibly like him.
[Phone rings in Scully's room]
Scully: Scully. We'll be right there. [To Mulder] That was Det. Manners. He says they just found your bleeping UFO.
Manners: [Seeing dead body of pilot] Hey, that was the guy who was... [pause] Bleep.
Scully: I know it probably doesn't have the sense of closure that you want. But it has more than some of our other cases.
Chung: Agent Mulder, this book will be written. But it can only benefit if you can explain something to me.
Mulder: What's that?
Chung: What really happened to those kids on that night?
Mulder: How the hell should I know?
Chung: [Voice-over] Evidence of extraterrestrial existence remains as elusive as ever, but the skies will continue to be searched by the
likes of Blaine Faulkner, hoping to someday find not only proof of alien life, but also contentment on a new world. Until then he
must be content with his new job.
Roky: [At his spiritual workshop] ...attaining ever greater levels of purification, reaching enlightenment at the core. Assuming of course
that your soul is able to avoid...the lava men.
Chung: Seeking the truth about aliens means a perfunctory nine-to-five job to some. Although Agent Diana Lusky is noble of spirit and
pure of heart, she remains nevertheless, a federal employee. As for her partner, Reynard Muldrake, that ticking time-bomb of
insanity, his quest into the unknown has so warped his psyche one shudders to think how he receives any pleasures from life.
[Mulder watching the Bigfoot video and, um...]
Harold: I just wanted to tell you I still love you.
Chrissy: Love. Is that all you men think about?
__________________________________________________________________________________
Non-dialogue details:
- There can be no doubt that someone on staff has read Philip J. Klass's great UFO debunking book, called "UFOs Explained". If
Klass County wasn't enough, then the quote regarding Venus would certainly be. Compare MIB #1's words to Roky with this taken
directly from the book: "No single object has been misinterpreted as a "flying saucer" more often than the planet Venus."
- Charles Nelson Reilly was perfect. Anyone else think he looked a little like Asimov with that hair?
- Chung's names for Mulder and Scully were great, particularly Mulder's, "Reynard" meaning Fox in French.
- the hypnotist played one of the murdered psychics from "Clyde Bruckman..."
- Gillian did a great job running the gamut on her repertoire of sceptical expressions this week.
- The music was especially brilliant. I loved the single repeated notes punctuating Mulder's reading of Roky's "manifesto" - another note
with each more implausible item.
- Blaine Faulkner was wearing a "Space: Above and Beyond" sweatshirt!
- watch Blaine recognize the second MIB as Alex Trebek - it's hysterical.
- also watch Lt. Jack Shafer make a mountain out of his mashed potatoes, a la Close Encounters. :-)
- any bets as to how many years before Duchovny touches sweet potato pie again?
- looks like Blaine got Roky's job once Roky decided to become a "spiritual leader". How long he will keep it is another matter.
- loved the cover of Jose's book with the "Communion" style alien - with cigarette.
Jeffrey D. Jonsson
>Non-dialogue details:
>
>- There can be no doubt that someone on staff has read Philip J. Klass's
great
>UFO debunking book, called "UFOs Explained". If
> Klass County wasn't enough, then the quote regarding Venus would certainly
be
>. Compare MIB #1's words to Roky with this taken
> directly from the book: "No single object has been misinterpreted as a
"fl
>ying saucer" more often than the planet Venus."
Not to mention J.Allen Hynek and Jaques Vallee's book "The Edge of Reality: A
progress report on UFOs." The dead pilot from the autopsy is named Vallee, and
the AF officer (SGT?) who comes to get the body has a name tag that reads:
Hynek.
--
Jeff Jonsson
Marriott Library Systems, University of Utah.
==============================================================================
--"It's the sound of the secret -- jjon...@alexandria.lib.utah.edu
-- machinery at the center of -- jj...@vm.usi.utah.edu
-- the world." - Cliff Steele -- jj...@utahusi.bitnet
Jeff Carroll
Mulder will be abducted. by who, what, or why we do not know.
--
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=#= x X =#= Jeff Carroll # TRUSTNO1 # car...@cs.uri.edu =#=
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Will Anne Be Good
came back from the dead........they can either bring back Deep Throat or
Milissa. hmmmm...........either one would be good and we can bring back
Krycek too.......hmmm.......and have Melissa emerging from Kryceks shower.
And they kidnap Mulder to get (well we gotta get Mulder out of the show
for a couple of weeks) Skinner and Scullys corporation on some sort of
shady deal ( That way we get Skinner out of the office and on a more
personal relationship with Scully). Scully is shocked to find out her
sister is still alive and also in league with Krycek. But when he shot her
she didn't die but was skirted away by Cancer Man in the middle of the
night and brain washed into being a double agent. Krycek escaped the silo
with the help of the ailens and sets out to destroy Cancer Man and Mulder
who is really his half brother. hmmm.............I better stop because its
starting to sound like Jose Chung or a soap opera!!!
It will be interesting to find out what CC has up his sleeve next!!!
AnneB