There's one in every group
Sherman Kaplan
> BBB Enterprises is proud to unveil its' latest game, "Find the Usenet
*Loon!"
>
> Tired of the same old crap on television night after night? Play "Find
the
> Usenet *Loon!" tonight! It's #fun! It's exciting! And best of all it's
> virtually *FREE!
>
> Here's how you play;
>
> Go to the news group section of your ISP and choose one of the many
> many news groups available to download. It can be something you have
> a passing interest in, something you are an expert in, even something you
> know absolutely nothing about.
>
> Download the group. Read the current postings keeping track of how
> many posts you read before spotting the resident Loon. Person who
> correctly identifies the resident Loon on the group in the fewest postings
> wins! This game can be played solo or in a group. Challenge your
friends!
>
> No knowledge of the topic being discussed is necessary. Remember, the
> Loon you're seeking doesn't know anything about it either!
>
> Helpful tips for beginners:
>
> 1. Reading and comprehension above the third grade level. This will put
> you head and shoulders above the average Usenet Loon.
>
> 2. Beginners should be prepared to find astonishing leaps of logic,
> irrational statements, ad homien attacks, strawman arguments, racial,
> sexual, religious and political slurs coupled with complete paranoia.
>
> 3. After spotting the Loon, advanced players usually give the Loon a
> whack with their Loon *mallets. Really advanced players have a Loon
> *Klaxon to warn of transient Loons flocking to their group. Loon Klaxons
> emit a loud "Whoop!Whoop! Whoop!" upon Loon detection.
>
> 4. All news groups have at least one resident Loon. Many news groups
> have an entire flock, especially in the alt. listings.
>
> 5. The Loon will always be right.
>
> 6. No self respecting Loon will ever admit to being wrong under any
> circumstances.
>
> 7. Loons become quite testy when confronted with measly annoyances
> like logic, scientific facts or actual test results.
>
> * Loon mallet and Loon Klaxon sold separately. Batteries not included.
>
> #Find the Usenet Loon can provide many hours of safe, harmless fun. It
> should be noted that in extreme instances Loon hunting can be addictive
> and BBB Enterprises assumes no liability for lost productivity at work,
late
> nights giggling at the computer and/or other side effects.
--
Sherman Kaplan
Highland Park Il
ICQ# 54493444
brian connolly
Thank you! Thankyouverymuch!
I accept this on behalf of the several blanched bile-filled raisins who've
made it all happen. Without you, I'd have nothing to write about and little
motivation. Your privilege and bitterness has fueled a tremendous amount of
humor. As such, Sherman, directly and indirectly, you've helped me make a
lot of people laugh. You've given me a broad supportive audience and
subsequently a lilt in my gate on my way to the bank.
Your number one fan,
Brian
PS What are you doing up at 4:30 in the morning. Worried?
EyeonMedia
gate on my way to the bank.<<
Careful. They don't care for loiterers.
>Your number one fan<
Sherman, try to remember to let sleeping trolls lie. Especially one whose
role-model is Kathy Bates in MISERY.
JJMoney62
news:s3amrh...@corp.supernews.com...
>You've given me a broad supportive audience and
> subsequently a lilt in my gate on my way to the bank.
Is that how you escaped, through the lilt in the gate? I suspected it was
either that or a hole in the fence.
King Daevid MacKenzie
you) at the moment, I gotta ask--is *present company* excepted from this
concept? :-) ...
King Daevid MacKenzie, UltimaJock!
Ultim...@webtv.net http://come.to/ultimajock
heard worldwide at 1400 UTC Thursdays
over http://www.webradio.com/wsuw
brian connolly
that I have power to crucify thee, and I have power to release thee?
Jesus answered: Thou shouldst not have any power against me, unless it were
given thee from above. Therefore, he that hath delivered me to thee, hath
the greater sin. Hypocrisy is the tribute that vice pays virtue.
And from henceforth Pilate sought to release him. But the Jews cried out,
saying: If thou release this man, thou art not Caesar's friend. For
whosoever maketh himself a king, speaketh against Caesar.
EyeonMedia
James Kibo Parry
I don't know which:
>
> > BBB Enterprises is proud to unveil its' latest game, "Find the Usenet
> > *Loon!"
> >
> > Tired of the same old crap on television night after night? Play "Find
> > the Usenet *Loon!" tonight! It's #fun! It's exciting! And best of all it's
> > virtually *FREE!
> >
> > Here's how you play;
> >
> > Go to the news group section of your ISP and choose one of the many
> > many news groups available to download. It can be something you have
> > a passing interest in, something you are an expert in, even something you
> > know absolutely nothing about.
> >
> > Download the group. Read the current postings keeping track of how
> > many posts you read before spotting the resident Loon. Person who
> > correctly identifies the resident Loon on the group in the fewest postings
> > wins!
OOH OOH OHH MISTER KOTTER I'M RAISING MY HAND MISTER KOTTER OOH OOH OOH
PICK ME PICK ME PICK MEEEEE!!!!
> > This game can be played solo or in a group.
And the name of that group is... alt.religion.kibology.
> > Challenge your friends!
> >
> > No knowledge of the topic being discussed is necessary. Remember, the
> > Loon you're seeking doesn't know anything about it either!
> >
> > Helpful tips for beginners:
> >
> > 1. Reading and comprehension above the third grade level. This will put
> > you head and shoulders above the average Usenet Loon.
> >
> > 2. Beginners should be prepared to find astonishing leaps of logic,
> > irrational statements, ad homien attacks, strawman arguments, racial,
> > sexual, religious and political slurs coupled with complete paranoia.
And "ad homien" attack consists of any reference to the "In Living Color"
character, Homien The Clown.
> > 3. After spotting the Loon, advanced players usually give the Loon a
> > whack with their Loon *mallets. Really advanced players have a Loon
> > *Klaxon to warn of transient Loons flocking to their group. Loon Klaxons
> > emit a loud "Whoop!Whoop! Whoop!" upon Loon detection.
This is the worst chapter of Kurt Vonnegut's "Galapagos" ever!
Also, "Loon *mallet" is just a misspelling of "L*A*R*T".
> > 4. All news groups have at least one resident Loon. Many news groups
> > have an entire flock, especially in the alt. listings.
> >
> > 5. The Loon will always be right.
> >
> > 6. No self respecting Loon will ever admit to being wrong under any
> > circumstances.
> >
> > 7. Loons become quite testy when confronted with measly annoyances
> > like logic, scientific facts or actual test results.
> >
> > * Loon mallet and Loon Klaxon sold separately. Batteries not included.
> >
> > #Find the Usenet Loon can provide many hours of safe, harmless fun. It
> > should be noted that in extreme instances Loon hunting can be addictive
> > and BBB Enterprises assumes no liability for lost productivity at work,
> > late nights giggling at the computer and/or other side effects.
What if your loon spends all night giggling at the computer? In a public
library? While eating candy?
-- K.
Not eating candy.
I have a frozen fish
made from tofu that
the package said was
a chicken in the oven.
And the fish had a BIG RED
SWASTIKA on the package!
It's the attack of the
Vegenazis who substitute
fish-shaped tofu for
the chicken-shaped tofu
described on the label!
brian connolly
EyeonMedia wrote, "Yikes."
Which in a word captures why they strung him up. This parable punctuates
history.
Jon W.
brave and profound new truths to tell. But it is also true that people
become frightened of stalker age-ist kooks who arrogate the role of Jesus
Christ to themselves in public newsgroups.
brian connolly
"Jon W." wrote, "it is true that people become frightened of a great prophet
with brave and profound new truths to tell. But it is also true that people
become frightened of stalker age-ist kooks who arrogate the role of Jesus
Christ to themselves in public newsgroups."
The truths you tell are not mutually exclusive. And as I said, this parable
punctuates history... with protagonists both major and minor. All lead us
to examine our fear.
So tell me, what in me do you find frightening that isn't reflective and
imaginary?
brian connolly
If you are truly interested in understanding this topic, I recommend
strongly the book, "Trickster Makes this World" by Lewis Hyde. Without the
"loon" character, you would still be in loincloth, praying to the god of
flint.
Brian