[Sith War 2002] Perv Awakening
Drake
Drake is forcefully awakened from his suspended animation chamber
by the voices of his old Masters. Looking around for them he sees
nothing, but then realizes he is completely naked so he quickly slips
into a Vorlon encounter suit (because nothing is as comfortable as
Vorlon suit lining against your body). "Huh? Damn, must be another
Sith War for me to go and make an ass of myself in. Lights on." He
said, stumbling around blindly.
"Alright, lets see what the deal is here for Sith War V." Drake says,
taking a seat and opening up to see what's going on in the current war.
"What the hell, Sith War 2002? Damn chamber must've malfunctioned.
Probably shouldn't have taken the Playboys to bed with me I guess.
On the bright side I should have a mature clone army by now."
With that he strode off into his hidden clone facility, well, not exactly
hidden.
It was actually a barn full of redneck scientists. He'd left detailed
instructions for his scientists to do whatever the droid-copy of his brain
told
them to do. Thus his evil army should be at the ready.
"Howdy, Sir." Said a redneck scientist, his white lab coat having a patch
on the side proclaiming "The Old Republic Shall Rise Again". "We's just
completed the first batch of a hundred clones o' what was ordered. Dere
are twenty groupin's of the five you'd ordered cloned. And clonin' is bein'
done on ten sets of the evil twosome you'd ordered."
"That's great. Where's my droid brain, I need to download what's been
going on here while I've been asleep." Drake said as he moved along. His
Vorlon encounter suit causing a lot of talk, especially since instead of
muted
earth tones his was in bright red and blue.
"Sure Sir, right this way. But may I ask about your encounter suit? Why're
you wearin' it? And why's it those colors?" Asked the redneck scientist,
despite the oxymoron his existence is.
"I liked the Spider-Man movie." Drake said, quickly plugging into his
replicated mind in the droid and catching up on what the scientists have
done.
"And as for why the suit, don't worry, not god-moding. I discovered Krispy
Kremes shortly before my nap and. this is the only thing that still fits.
It's
either this or I go around naked. yeah."
"Good choice Sir, very good choice. But the colors, you've been in
suspended animation, how could ya've seen the movie if'n you've been
in there for the last, what, almost four years?"
"Don't point out flawed logic and continuity errors to me kid. Now tell me
what's happened in the Sith Wars since I left SWIV." Drake said, sorting
through all his new info.
"I don't know, I didn't pay any attention to them. I know a little about
the
current one though." The redneck said.
"Well, tell me."
"Well, I think it's mostly factions, no big evil really trying to take over
RASSM or anything this time. Other than that I have no clue. From what
I saw, none of the players in this one look like ones who were in Sith War
IV
with you sir. Also, I should point out that it looks like there's a
God-moder
hiding someplace. I haven't caught the whole storyline, I may be wrong."
The redneck said before looking around for a beer.
"Oh, I hate those jackasses. If they come after me I'll just cheat, it
worked
well before. Oh, am I still considered a High Priest?" Drake asked,
sitting
on some lab consoles and flipping through the latest issues of "Redneck
Lovin': The Best Cows You'll Ever See".
"I think so, maybe in two ideologies too. Are you going to try and join
forces with someone or take over RASSM or something cool?"
"Probably. Could you show me a list of who is currently participating in
this Sith War?"
"Sure thing Sir." The clueless redneck tech said, popping up the names
of some of the players on screen.
"Hrm, most seem kind of boring. wait, yeah, I see who I want to join
up with. Close that down then take me to the clones, I need to issue
some orders then pick out a Standard Popular Cultural Icon Sidekick T
to join me." Drake said after taking one last look at the Hoofmate of the
Month.
~-~
Standing before his new clone army Drake was rather amazed to see
twenty exact copies of each of the five men who had been cloned. It
was frightening, the amount of evil these beings could cause. Looking
at the ranks a smile formed as he pointed to ten sets of the clones. "You
ten groups, you are to go out into this Sith War and cause general havoc.
Attack anyone and everything, annoy all those you come in contact with
and be extremely hard to kill. Also you are to do what you call singing,
and sell many albums."
Drake then turned two other sets. "You ten will be out on a very special
mission for me. You see this creature?" Drake said, showing a photo
of something. "You are all to find this creature. If it has hair, you are
to
shave it completely. After that you are to put it in a gold bikini and
cover
it in gamalost before bringing it to me. As for the rest of you, you're
on defense. Make sure that the clones currently being created are able
to be completed. Now everyone, get to it." With that, all the clones
began their ordered tasks.
"Um, Sir, what was that about?" Asked the still nameless redneck who
would most likely never be in the Sith War again.
"Oh, I'm just being a jackass. I remember the fun I had in SWIV so
I'm going to try and recreate some of it. That's why I sent out my
C`N`Sync clones to cause havoc and to torment the small one. He
should be glad I'm not ordering him tossed in the bed of a pick-up truck.
Now, let's pick me a nice sidekick." With that Drake began looking
through the Standard Popular Cultural Icon Sidekick T Catalog.
"Hrm, Gary Coleman? Nah. Vince McMahon? Nah. Dennis Franz's
ass. No. Yes, okay, this is who I want." Punching a few buttons his
sidekick appears.
"Hey, nameless redneck scientist helper guy. Is my truck still here
and working?" Drake asked, eying his new sidekick who was
speaking a language that no one could understand save for a few curse
words.
"Um, it's a little damaged. A tree fell on it after a Wookie threw an
Ewok at the tree after wiping it's ass with it. It still runs, it's just
dented."
"Well, that will work out fine then. Forward my calls and all. My new
sidekick and I are heading out." Drake said, smiling even though no
one could see it in the suit.
"Where ya goin'?"
"Ah, to find someone that an old perv like me should have fun around.
Ozzy and I are off to see if we can form an alliance with. The Love
Machine.
I mean, anyone with the balls to call themselves The Love Machine is someone
that this perv wants to meet."
"Have fun Sir."
"Thanks, well, off we go Ozzy. I think we're now officially in this Sith
War.
And remind me to only use my hyperdrive. I don't want any more accidents
like with CFC in SWIV. Unless I'm hungry."
~-~
A moment later a slightly dented red '98 Dodge Ram went into hyperspace,
it's bumper sticker, "I Brake For Females And Ambiguous Creatures That
Are Hot", the last thing the rednecks in the barn lab saw.
============
Summary:
Drake wakes up and decides to annoy people in the new Sith War. He
puts on a Spider-Man colored Vorlon encounter suit and sends out some
C`N`Sync clones to raise havoc and others on a special assignment that
has no real influence on the war unless the person they were sent after
decides to pick up on it.
Drake then chooses Ozzy Osbourne to be his new sidekick, they hop into
his truck and head off to meet with The Love Machine to see about a
possible working relationship.
Drake
Vet of old.
Remove "pervo" to reply by email.
jill marie
Drake <daemo...@pervocharter.net>
> ============
> Summary:
>
> Drake wakes up and decides to annoy people in
> the new Sith War. He puts on a Spider-Man colored
> Vorlon encounter suit and sends out some C`N`Sync
> clones to raise havoc and others on a special
> assignment that has no real influence on the war
> unless the person they were sent after
> decides to pick up on it.
>
> Drake then chooses Ozzy Osbourne to be his new
> sidekick, they hop into his truck and head off to
> meet with The Love Machine to see about a
> possible working relationship.
> Drake
> Vet of old.
LOL! You and Ponte, eh? This could be interesting. ;-)
~~jill marie
Sean Walsh
news:DkoN8.31864$LC3.2...@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
Replace "interesting" with "frightening," Jill.
Not that "interesting" is wrong.........but "frightening" works **way**
better... :p
Sean
:)
--
New Gods Library: http://fastbak.tripod.com
Quantum Piett! http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
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jill marie
Sean Walsh <wals...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> jill marie <ra...@NOSPAMatt.net> wrote:
> >
> > Drake <daemo...@pervocharter.net>
> >
> > > ============
> > > Summary:
> > >
> > > Drake wakes up and decides to annoy people in
> > > the new Sith War. He puts on a Spider-Man colored
> > > Vorlon encounter suit and sends out some C`N`Sync
> > > clones to raise havoc and others on a special
> > > assignment that has no real influence on the war
> > > unless the person they were sent after
> > > decides to pick up on it.
> > >
> > > Drake then chooses Ozzy Osbourne to be his new
> > > sidekick, they hop into his truck and head off to
> > > meet with The Love Machine to see about a
> > > possible working relationship.
> >
> > > Drake
> > > Vet of old.
> >
> > LOL! You and Ponte, eh? This could be interesting. ;-)
>
> Replace "interesting" with "frightening," Jill.
>
> Not that "interesting" is wrong.........but "frightening" works
**way**
> better... :p
You are so right. Frightening *is* the word I was looking for....
;-)
Sean Walsh....Official RASSM Thesaurus
And he has his own thread too! :)
~~jill marie
Drake
Both of you just keep on talking, I'm taking notes for
later...
*sits quietly and smiles innocently*
Drake
*keeps sitting quietly and smiling sweet and innocent like*