[Sith War 2002] She'Pi
Muuurgh
and Twinkies. But what it found would change its life forever (well at
least as long as this post).
All it saw were a bunch of old men gathered around a table with their
walkers and oxygen tanks. They seemed to be playing a game or something.
"Excuse me. But who are you? And why are you on my space station?"
They all turned at once and responded "Who me?"
Muuurgh stood up from the center of the crowd and gathered a small pile of
credits, gum and cigarettes. "You know its amazing, they always seem to
want to play the same hands. Very predictable." Muuurgh smiled.
"What's going on here Muuurgh!!?"
"Uh, we got bored. So we.." Muuurgh tried to explain.
"We? We who?" Jade demanded. The incessant wheezing of the old C'Pis were
already beginning to drive Jade mad.
"Uh, MiniPi and me." Muuurgh backed away slowly form the archon. "It was
all innocent fun. We wanted to see what C'Pi would look like ten years from
now so we had Taun We speed up the growing process a little. That was all
well and good, but we got curious and aged them another ten years, and so on
until now. They may not make the next ten, so here we have the 83 year old
C'Pis. Aren't they great?" Muuurgh gulped.
"Muuurgh!! I'm going to kill you!! You just wasted good clones and good..."
Jade stopped as she saw Taun We enter the room followed by a well endowed
girl, wearing a catholic school outfit.
The old C'Pi's mouths dropped wide open quickly followed by their dentures
dropping to the floor. They all stuck ther fingers in their mouth trying to
whistle. "Ftttttttttttttt!!!" Spit dribbled down their jaws.
"Excuse me, Master Muuurgh we have completed the last request you gave us.
I'd like you to meet the She'Pi, the transgendered verion of C'Pi... only,
we couldn't remove the moustache, back and chest hair. Everytime we tried,
it only grew back thicker." Taun We stepped aside allowing the She'Pi to
step forward.
"Hello." the She'Pi said snapping her pink bubble gum "My name is
Brittney'Pi." *giggle* she twisted her index finger around one of her
dishwater blond piggy tails.
"She's 19 years old and she is ready to serve you." Taun We bowed and
reported.
"Take this thing back!" Jade commanded.
"No! Wait listen I have a plan!" Muuurgh jumped between Brittney'Pi and
Jade.
"If this plan involves your getting laid, the She'Pi is out!!" Jade's
forehead developed a few veins by this point.
"No, she's not for me. Listen here's my plan, we'll give her a shuttle and
send her to..."
***In Drake and Ponte's Death Star***
"Sir. We have an intruder in sector I-419." A Mexican C'Pi clone stated to
Drake, who now ran the Death Star.
"Lets take a look." Drake said as he walked towards the view screen. "Holy
mother of Porkins. sorry. Is that what I think it is?"
She'Pi floated outside of her pink shuttle with furry white interior. Her
pink latex spacesuit was skin tight, reflecting light from all the right
places.
Drake asked the question not expecting an answer but an entire room full of
Mexican C'Pi clones answered in unison "Uh huh." nodding their heads and
drooling.
Drake turned to the nearest Mexican clone "Ready my ship, I'm going to see
if I can help this poor girl out."
"Yes Sir." The Mexican clone said, then meandered down the hall.
***Outside***
"Excuse me Miss. Is there a problem?" Drake asked in the smoothest voice
he could conjur. "My God this woman has a sexy body, I bet she shags like a
Togorian." he thought to himself.
"My shuttle just brokedown. Like, I don't know what to do." She'Pi popped a
bubble inside of her space helmet.
"I'll have my men look into it. What's your name?"
"Brittney'Pi" *giggle* she answered as she fondled an imaginary piggy tail
on the side of her helmet.
"Great Brittney'Pi, lets shag."
*giggle*
***Meanwhile, back at the Big Boy***
"This plan is great Muuurgh." Jade started to congratulate the cat. "Okay
now what, no, let me guess. Just when she gets close enough in bed she's
going to put a knife in him?" Muuurgh slowly shook his head.
"I know, she's got guns in her jubblee's!?"
Muuurgh slowly shook his head again.
"Hmmm.. wait.. she's a spy, she tell us everything that happens on that
ship. Am I right?" Archon was starting to get excited.
Muuurgh scratched the back of his head. His eyes looked up to the ceiling,
he parted his lips with his tongue then pensively scratched his chin.
"Well? Are you going to tell me or not?" Jade asked excitedly.
"Uh.. I forgot.."
"You forgot how she's going to kill Drake and the Ponte? Jade laughed.
"Uh.. No, I forgot to tell her or program her what to do next." Muuurgh
blushed "hehe."
Jade stood up. "You what!! Wait a second, let me get this straight, you
don't have a plan here? You age 2 dozen C'Pi clones for kicks and then you
give Drake and the Love Machine a sex slave!?! Are you kidding me!!?" By
this time Jade had already pounced on Muuurgh and began strangling him. His
face was turning an odd shade of purple.
***Back in Drakes ship***
"That was wonderful Brittney'Pi, I haven't had sex like that since.. well
never." She'Pi blew a bubble that popped over her nose, getting stuck in
her moustache. "Here let me help you with that" Drake said as he picked
some gum out of the dish water blonde moustache. After he picked the last
piece out and fed it back to her he rolled over onto his side of the bed
with his hands behind his head while She'Pi lit a cigarette for him. "Yep,
this is a good life." He said as the Holophone rang.
"Hello, Drake here."
"I can see that you dimwit. Listen I was heading for the..." Ponte paused
"...Helllo, what do we have here?"
"Uh this is Brittney'Pi" Drake pointed
"Pleased to meet you Miss Pi." Ponte winked.
"Like, Hello Mr. Love Machine." the She'Pi winked back.
"Drake pointed his remote towards the screen." *blip*
"Just ignore that ignoramus, I'm all the man you'll ever need." Draked
flipped the switch on the wall and lights flooded the room, some George
Clinton funk filled the air as his bed spun little circles around the room.
"Do I make you horny baby? Do I? Yeah!" The silk sheets flourished over
their heads.
****
Summary:
1. Muuurgh ages some C'Pi clones to the age of 83 for shits and giggles
2. Muuurgh orders a She'Pi
3. Jade throttles Muuurgh
4. Drake has the best sex of his life.
-Muuurgh
C'Pi
"Muuurgh" <JekPo...@Fatboy.com> wrote in message
news:af7dcc$c23rb$1...@ID-104752.news.dfncis.de...
>
> 4. Drake has the best sex of his life.
I always knew I was good.
C'Pi
The great and powerful Oink!
"C'Pi" <jas...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:af7e7r$btlqj$1...@ID-111793.news.dfncis.de...
Me too. Uh, I mean I figured...because of the moustache thing.
Jade
--
And the Porkins figure.
Michael Ponte (Love Machine)
A part of me is wishing I never sent the friggin Racoons after you... ;-)
--
Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com
President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)
Veteran of Celebration I and II
"Only about 10 percent of movies made every year are any good. Ninety
percent are just plain shit. And today it seems we're standing in the middle
of the shit." - George Lucas
Visit Quantum Piett: http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
And Ponte Central: http://www.geocities.com/pontecentral/
C'Pi
"Michael Ponte (Love Machine)" <super...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:KaHR8.298066$352.28688@sccrnsc02...
>
> "C'Pi" <jas...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:af7e7r$btlqj$1...@ID-111793.news.dfncis.de...
> >
> > "Muuurgh" <JekPo...@Fatboy.com> wrote in message
> > news:af7dcc$c23rb$1...@ID-104752.news.dfncis.de...
> > >
> > > 4. Drake has the best sex of his life.
> >
> > I always knew I was good.
> >
> > C'Pi
> >
>
> A part of me is wishing I never sent the friggin Racoons after you... ;-)
It's all your fault.
C'Pi
Drake
I sure ain't complaining.
Drake
So good I might just switch sides in the war... wait, I can eat
my cake and have it too as I am...
Muuurgh
Notice She'Pi rhymes with C'Pi.. hahahahahaha. Oh my Lordy. hoho.
-Muuurgh