Whence Lisa?
WILLIAM H. SUDDERTH
personae_? It's just such a bland name, I figure there's a great story
behind it.
--
William Sudderth | Marrying Shannon: April 1996
Indentu {{WARNING: SIG RECONSTRUCTION IN PROGRESS. PLEASE OBEY}} is: May 1996
Somewhe {{SPEED LIMIT. TURN OFF TWO-WAY RADIO. DRIVE SAFELY. }} July, August
UNC-Chapel Hill, Class of '92 | I believe in planning ahead.
Dave Mescher
: Can anyone tell me when Lisa got added to the Oracle's _dramatis
: behind it.
decent book, IMHO... Movie was comparitively lousy, but I've seen worse)
Just my $0.02
__
.sig is MIA
: --
: William Sudderth | Marrying Shannon: April 1996
: Indentu {{WARNING: SIG RECONSTRUCTION IN PROGRESS. PLEASE OBEY}} is: May 1996
: Somewhe {{SPEED LIMIT. TURN OFF TWO-WAY RADIO. DRIVE SAFELY. }} July, August
: UNC-Chapel Hill, Class of '92 | I believe in planning ahead.
--
Dave Mescher dmes...@csugrad.cs.vt.edu
GCS d,++ H>+ s+:- g+ p3 au a-- w+ v,--->! C++++,++ UU++++,A$ P-- L-
3- E--- N++ K- W--- M V-- po Y+ t--- 5 jx R G+ !tv b++ D- B---
e+,* u+ h- f+ r(+,++)@ !n,--- y?
Roger Noe
WILLIAM H. SUDDERTH <whsu...@hamlet.uncg.edu> wrote:
>Can anyone tell me when Lisa got added to the Oracle's _dramatis
>personae_? It's just such a bland name, I figure there's a great story
>behind it.
Sure, it may sound like a bland name, but she's quite a babe. Lisa is
one of the top two names for women that sounds like it belongs to a
good girl-next-door type, innocent and pure, but in reality she's a
slut and has slept with just about every guy who ever said "hello" to
her, not to mention a few who said nothing. The other name in this
category is Shannon.
>William Sudderth | Marrying Shannon: April 1996
Oh, er, tell your fiancee I said "hello".
--
Roger Noe, Oracle Priest n...@cs.uiuc.edu
University of Illinois (217) 244-6173
Urbana, IL USA "Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!"
Jason Dyer
: Can anyone tell me when Lisa got added to the Oracle's _dramatis
: personae_? It's just such a bland name, I figure there's a great story
: behind it.
My guess is Lisa was the name of a girlfriend of an answerer who
mentioned the name in a reply, and the name just stuck from there.
Does anyone know when Lisa first appeared? I know it was pretty early
on because I've seen her in some pretty early oraclalities.
--
Jason Dyer - jd...@indirect.com
Solomon G. Slazenger
>>Can anyone tell me when Lisa got added to the Oracle's _dramatis
>>personae_? It's just such a bland name, I figure there's a great story
>>behind it.
>
> one of the top two names for women that sounds like it belongs to a
> good girl-next-door type, innocent and pure, but in reality she's a
> slut and has slept with just about every guy who ever said "hello" to
> her, not to mention a few who said nothing. The other name in this
> category is Shannon.
>
>>William Sudderth | Marrying Shannon: April 1996
>
> Oh, er, tell your fiancee I said "hello".
Oh. And I thought Lisa meant
Luscious
Intellingent
Succumbus
Attachment.
Oh well I've been wrong before.
Solomon (Hey, I know! Maybe I should ask the Oracle!:) Slazenger.
Jeremy Daniel Buhler
> WILLIAM H. SUDDERTH (whsu...@hamlet.uncg.edu) wrote:
> : Can anyone tell me when Lisa got added to the Oracle's _dramatis
> mentioned the name in a reply, and the name just stuck from there.
Is Lisa perhaps related to the mythical Teresa of John Brunner's
book _Stand_on_Zanzibar_? She's about the closest cultural
reference I can think of to an oracle's girlfriend :-).
--
## Jeremy Buhler * Rice University * jbu...@owlnet.rice.edu * sabeq ##
idd...@vms.cis.pitt.edu
writes:
> Quoth Jason Dyer (jd...@indirect.com):
>> WILLIAM H. SUDDERTH (whsu...@hamlet.uncg.edu) wrote:
>> : Can anyone tell me when Lisa got added to the Oracle's _dramatis
>> My guess is Lisa was the name of a girlfriend of an answerer who
>> mentioned the name in a reply, and the name just stuck from there.
>
> Is Lisa perhaps related to the mythical Teresa of John Brunner's
> book _Stand_on_Zanzibar_? She's about the closest cultural
> reference I can think of to an oracle's girlfriend :-).
Funny, for some reason I thought this had been answered already.
Lisa was the girlfriend of somebody involved with the Oracle early on.
She even answered a few questions. The real Lisa has moved on, but
she has left a virtual image of herself which, shall we say, has
progressed significantly along the female evolutionary pathway.
Ian Davis idd...@vms.cis.pitt.edu
Oracular Priest
Stephan Zielinski
>> WILLIAM H. SUDDERTH (whsu...@hamlet.uncg.edu) wrote:
>> : Can anyone tell me when Lisa got added to the Oracle's _dramatis
>
>book _Stand_on_Zanzibar_? She's about the closest cultural
>reference I can think of to an oracle's girlfriend :-).
Jeremy, I just want you to know that the fact that you spotted this
possibility and I didn't REALLY PISSES ME OFF.
Now I have to crawl 50 miles on my knees to the Tomb of the Unknown
Dictie to restore my worthiness. Thanks loads.
--
Stephan "Si monumentum requiris, circumspice" Zielinski
BOB MORRIS
Oracle history lesson 101: The first mention of Lisa.
Here are the first mentions of Lisa in the archived digests. I'm
guessing that there was some history not contained here relating to
the ASCII Lisa pictures. Is anybody old enough to remember what
was happening in 1989?
Bob
(P.S. Is it my imagination, or was the Oracle a lot more sexually
expressive in the old days?)
Subject: Usenet Oracularities #32
Date: 27 Oct 89 00:21:23 GMT
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Does Lisa like sausages?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} Well, that all depends on the kind of sausages.
}
} If I remember correctly (of course I remember correctly I'm the Oracle),
} she absolutely adores bratwurst and knakwurst but she hate summer
} sausage.
}
} I suggest that you show her your sausage and ask her what she thinks.
Subject: Usenet Oracularities #33
Date: 27 Oct 89 00:45:57 GMT
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Draw me an ASCI representation of Lisa, our new net.sex.goddess.
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} The best ASCII picture of Lisa is a picture of words:
}
} Her hair is the color of wet dreams
} Her eyes are as round as pelican's eggs.
} Her nose is as cute as a koala bear
} Her lips are as red and sensual as a pair of otters dipped in rouge.
} Her neck is as an alabaster pillar, and twice as stiff.
} Her arms are like arms. what can I say?
} Her breasts are ... well, you only get to see the tops of them in this
} portrait.
}
} You owe the oracle a flea.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> How about an ASCII representation of Lisa?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} How bout them ASCII representations of Lisa! Why, they whumped the
} EBCDIC representations of Charlene right good. I wuz a-watching it,
} drinking a fuckin' uuencoded Bud Light, and it wuz a right good game!
} Those ASCII reps o' Lisa took that ball and ran every which way. Three
} touchdowns in the first innin', and then there was no stoppin' 'em! And
} they whumped the BCD bitmap encodings of Gertrude, too, just last week!
} Them BCD-bitmap guys didn't seem to know if they was binary or decimal,
} against those ASCII reps. Those ASCII reps is goddam *good*, I tell
} you! They're going right to the nationals! They're going to win the
} Pickle this year! Right-on!
}
} How 'bout them ASCII representations of Lisa!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Tell me all the information regarding Lisa's life, including her full
> name, number, address,a nd everything else...
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} Name: Lisa Lisa
} Address: 69 Lovelace Lane
} Phone: check your favorite bathroom wall
} Occupation: many
} A Day in the Life: Lisa wakes at 6:30 as usual and slides quietly out
} of bed, not disterbing the person still sleeping. She goes into to the
} bathroom to brush her teeth, shower and shave (legs, pubis, etc.). She
} turns on the shower and lets it get nice and warm, then climbs into the
} tub. She turns one the pulsing water massage to its highest setting and
} lays down in the tub. She wonders why she has not been able to find a
} lover who can satisfy her, all those encounters, all those lovers and no
} magic (heavy sigh). She slowly soaps her breasts and stomach, letting
} her fingers linger over her nipples as her other hand moves the water
} massage up her leg, slowly drawing near to her shaven but unfulfilled
} sex. The hand on her nipple strays down to help the massage unit as her
} legs slip open farther she plunges.........
}
} >>ERROR -- SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!!
} >>ERROR -- PREPARE FOR CRASH!!!
} >>OVERLOAD, OVERLOAD, HELP ME, DAVE....ARE YOU THERE DAVE.....I CAN'T
} >>SEE YOU DAVE....DAIssssyyy.....
}
}
} and masterbates for twenty luxerious minutes
} as she has once again spent a completly unfulfilling evening with
} another man (heavy sigh).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Just WHO is this Lisa woman, in exacting detail, also explaining Diana,
> and their replationship with apes and sorority girls.
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} The Oracle can't say anything about it now, however, you should check
} your theatre listings for the movie "Gorillas in the Miss"
}
} As payment, the Oracle requires you attend the movie and purchase the
} fifty-five gallon drum-sized popcorn with butter flavor.
Itamar Netzer
girlfriend called Lisa. After the first post or two, people probably
started using it. That gives me an idea.... maybe I could cause something
like that to happen again??? I'll get back to you sometime, if it works.
--
Don't let yer Meat loaf!!!
Father Patrick O'blivion, ASC, BSC, DDS, & all around nice guy.
"The blow up dolly gwine come to life!!"
Ross Clement
>I figured it was just one of the Incarnations who actually has a
>girlfriend called Lisa. After the first post or two, people probably
>started using it. That gives me an idea.... maybe I could cause something
>like that to happen again??? I'll get back to you sometime, if it works.
I tried for a while with an entity called the 'Anti-Oracle', as the Anti-Christ
is to Christ (in christian theology), but it didn't work. I was sure it had
possibilities, a being who sees nothing, knows nothing, and when the Anti-
Oracle hits the ZOT button he fries himself. Also, imagine the reverse
grovels.
*Sigh*
Cheers,
Ross-c
Richard Wilson
s386...@techst02.technion.ac.il "Itamar Netzer" writes:
> I figured it was just one of the Incarnations who actually has a
> girlfriend called Lisa. After the first post or two, people probably
> started using it. That gives me an idea.... maybe I could cause something
> like that to happen again??? I'll get back to you sometime, if it works.
I assumed it was a normal practice amongst incarnations. I've noticed a
Beauregard more than once, and the Oracle's law firm, whose name temporarily
escapes me.
My incarnations are regularly intruded upon by an enthusiastic but rather
inept Oracular priest called Zadoc, amongst whose many shortcomings are an
inability to get the name right (it should be Zadok - see if I care) and an
even more culpable inability to get into the digests. He has now been
beaten to it by the courteous but essentially humourless Senior Vice
President of Supplications Processing (Oracular Industries, Inc.) F. Gaylord
Wallbanger III.
This is the real problem, of course. Not only that there are now more
incarnations with their own side-kicks, but who's going to suffer an erotic
imagination overload as a result of a law firm or an F. Gaylord Wallbanger?
Long lust^H^H^Hive Lisa, I say.
_________________________________________
| /
___________________________| ric...@molerat.demon.co.uk <
\ |________________________________________\
> Richard Wilson (
/___________________________) "Cacatne pontifex maximus in sylvis?"
- G Dent, Globelink News
Jim Little
>
>Oracle history lesson 101: The first mention of Lisa.
[Oracularities deleted]
These early oracularities are great! The overall style and tone of the
Oracle has definitely evolved and changed over the years... I didn't
see a single woodchuck reference, very few "You owe the Oracle"s, and
Not a single grovel!
In fact, the questions were downright demanding. So, the next question
for our historian is: Whence grovel?
-Jim Little (ji...@teleport.com)
Tom Harrington
cle...@westminster.ac.uk (Ross Clement) wrote:
:I tried for a while with an entity called the 'Anti-Oracle', as the
Anti-Christ
:is to Christ (in christian theology), but it didn't work. I was sure it
had
:possibilities, a being who sees nothing, knows nothing, and when the Anti-
:Oracle hits the ZOT button he fries himself. Also, imagine the reverse
:grovels.
Sort of like the Oracular equivalent of "Bizarro" in the old Superman
comics, eh? I kinda like it. There's just one problem-- there are a hell
of alot more people bothering the Oracle now than there used to be.
Lisa first appeared in what, digest #32? When the Oracle's address
appears in "Internet for the Cerebrally Crippled, vol 27" like it
does now, it's hard to establish new traditions unless you REALLY want
to. You'll have to answer many many questions to establish the Anti-
Oracle. Be sure that you have cleansed your soul, sharpened your sword,
and blocked out a whole lot of free time before you try again.
--
Ce n'est pas une .signature
David Sewell
>expressive in the old days?)
Yes, but you have to remember that back then, most of the participants
were male CS or EE majors, and fantasizing about Lisa (or Barbara,
the net.suppleness.goddess--there was an early questioner with a
real suppleness fetish) was their primary form of sexual release.
--
David Sewell * ds...@packrat.aml.arizona.edu | "The sleeping are workmen
RADIOCARBON, Dep't of Geosciences, U of Arizona | (and fellow-workers) in
WWW: http://packrat.aml.arizona.edu/~dsew/ | what happens in the world."
Tel. 1-520-881-0857 Fax 1-520-881-0554 | --Heraclitus
Richard Wilson
> These early oracularities are great! The overall style and tone of the
> Oracle has definitely evolved and changed over the years... I didn't
> see a single woodchuck reference, very few "You owe the Oracle"s, and
>
> Not a single grovel!
>
> In fact, the questions were downright demanding. So, the next question
> for our historian is: Whence grovel?
Standard feature of the development of any religion, surely? Jesus was a
matey sort of chap (I hope that doesn't carry any unintended connotations
on the far side of the pond) who would probably come out for a beer or two
if you asked him. After his death came the folklore (cf Lisa, woodchucks),
the establishment of a church (cf the Oracular priesthood) which in turn
instituted rituals (cf digests) and tithes (cf "You owe the Oracle...") and
demanded respect for their deity. We grovel before most other gods; it would
be strange to ignore the Oracle.
Then comes the Reformation, and the belief that church and ritual merely
get in the way of one's personal relationship with the god. We are probably
entering such a stage now: I've seen several questions addressed to "Orrie"
with no grovel. My incarnation always answers these in an equally friendly
and familiar manner. But then, my incarnation would come out for a beer or
two if you asked him.
.. And if you offered to pay.
Michael Shields
Richard Wilson <Ric...@molerat.demon.co.uk> wrote:
> Standard feature of the development of any religion, surely? Jesus was a
> matey sort of chap (I hope that doesn't carry any unintended connotations
> on the far side of the pond) who would probably come out for a beer or two
> if you asked him. After his death came the folklore (cf Lisa, woodchucks),
> the establishment of a church (cf the Oracular priesthood) which in turn
> instituted rituals (cf digests) and tithes (cf "You owe the Oracle...") and
> demanded respect for their deity.
Is the Oracle dead?
--
Shields.
BOB MORRIS
Oracle history lesson 105: The first grovel
There were some that started "O mighty Oracle", or something similar
but this is the first really self-debasing grovel.
In the olden days, it was also quite popular to end with an ending
like "The Oracle has spoken" or something like that. This one has
a variation of that formerly common practice.
Bazerko Bob
Subject: Usenet Oracularities #1
Date: 9 Oct 89 14:30:56 GMT
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply.
Your question was:
> Great and mighty oracle, whose excrement I am unfit to lick ...
>
> Tell me how to attain knowledge and wisdom as great as thine own!
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
} I have pondered the question you haved asked, the way you asked it,
} and what you are really asking. Your question does have an answer,
} but I don't think I should answer it. The toils on the path of
} becoming an oracle are long and tedious and someone who uses the
} English language as you do does not have the determination, or the
} character to devote himself to pure, unbiased truth.
}
} As an oracle, my food (input) is words, my excrement is truth.
} You wording tells me you could never attain the level you seek.
} Cleanse your heart and mind and you may get a sense of TRUTH.
}
} So says the oracle.