Jonno's Jiant Jibberings - Thurs 12 Mar
Jonno
Disclaimer : This being an hour long special you'll have to bear with me.
Especially since Mrs Jonno works tonight and she foolishly bought a bottle
on tonic today. It will go very nicely with the bottle of gin some kind
person gave us the other day for £5. No question etc. :-)
Paddy is woken up by a still enraged Mandy sleeping in the back of his van.
Butch and Sam arrive and make jokes about not making it in the bedroom
department. Postie arrives with a big box for "Amanda D'Ingle". Naughty
knicker supplies.
Activity job
It's the last exercise. Dean is in charge of one team and Nick (probation
boy) the other. Bikes then canoes and then on foot. It's a chance to put
into practice everything they have learned.
Home Farm
Miss Piggy tells Chris she is going to pick up some stuff from home. He says
he will give her a lift, but she wants to go on her own. He shouts after
her. Kim walks in smiling. 'Going well is it ? It was bound to end in tears.
For a successful relationship you need someone who is you equal. Kelly is
far too good for you'. Lovely job, Kim at her best :-)
Dingles
Butch puts a ladder up to Mandy's window to see what she got from the
postie. She is going through her 'supplies'. He tells Sam to put his foot on
the bottom of the ladder and not move. Zak shouts at Sam to give him a hand
so of course he does. Mandy yells at Butch and he falls off the ladder
into.....a heap of pig muck. Not very original.
Outside PO
Nick challenges Dean to a bet over who will win the 'race'. £30. Nick
pinches Deans map.
Dingles
Mandy tells Lisa she is cutting out the middle man (or in this case Mrs
Taylor) and has ordered lots of stuff from Paris, straight from Bradford.
Butch tells Zak about what he has seen. They are imaging what it will be
like. Butch sees Zoe in something slinky, Zak thinks of Cathy. Not to be
left out Sam says 'Betty'. Poor lad, bless his little socks.
Woods
Terry and Will are out for a run and Will thinks Terry is the right one to
ask advice of (the boy has a lot to learn). Terry advises that he gets her
out of her normal surroundings, like the bar of a nice hotel, keep a room on
order, champagne on ice that sort of thing. Oh dear :-)
Sheltered housing
Heather has found a place for old Outhwaite. He is not chuffed.
Home farm office
Kim comes in and tells Steve she has just seen his car. He says that's
impossible it'll be in Europe by now. Kim wants to phone the police. Steve
says he will do it. When Chris offers him the phone, he says he will use the
mobile. Dodgy, dodgy.
Pollards
Marlon produces his menu for 'Marlon,s Night'. Dee and Pollard look worried.
Phone rings, Pollard picks it up and there is no-one there. Dee looks more
worried. Could it be Will ?
PO
Viv tells Vic they have been invited to dinner by Chris Tate. Poor Vic can't
go with the boys :-(
Outhwaites
Paddy is helping remove all the cows. The lad asks for a cup of tea. Paddy
tells him the house is boarded up. The lad tells him he heard someone in
there so Paddy investigates. Outhwaite appears with the everpresent shotgun.
He is upset about his cows and his life.....it's all he knows. Paddy tries
to reassure him and promises to see the cows are slaughtered humanely.
Activity race
Dean is behind because he has had his map knicked. Gets to river and canoes
are in the middle. Dives in to get them. This bet is serious :-)
Chris tell Piggy he has booked a scan. She is horrified as it will reveal
the date of birth.
Will orders a room with champagne and phones Pollards. He answers. Dee looks
worried again. Eventually he gets Dee to answer. She has to meet him, she is
not keen, he threatens blackmail and promises to be out of her life if she
agrees to meet him this once. Teenage psychosis taking over.
Activity race
Dean is determined to win the bet, so he knicks Cairns' van to save time. He
manages to bluff his way through a police road block.
Mandy corners Sam and asks him if she can trust him. Sam replies 'not
really'. They're laying it on Sam tonight. He agress to hand out invites to
the naughty knicker(NKP) party for Mandy being held at Outhwaites barn. She
is obviously one step ahead of the boys :-)
Pub
Zak and Butch are still trying to find out the venue of NKP. Butch is going
to charge £5 for the venue. Sam hands out the decoys to Cathy and someone
else(? I forget)
Pollards
Dee makes her excuse to leave to see Will by saying she is going to thr NKP.
How can Pollard refuse.
Activity race.
Dean, in the stolen van, arrive at a ford. Is it too deep. We'll soon find
out. He drives in full speed. It is too deep. They ditch it and continue on
foot.
His team lose the race. Cairns is furious. You stole a van. Ignored all I
taught you etc. (I can see why you call him Drone, Molly). Emma sticks up
for him saying it was a team decision. Cairns rants and raves about putting
lives at risk etc. Nick admits stealing the map and pushing canoes out into
river.
They all join in with the same. All lies, but perhaps there is a moral
there. They are now acting as a team by sticking up for each other.
Voyeurism
The boys are off the view the NKP. Terry has binocs to see the 'birds in
their natural habitat'. They find it is all a setup and Zak is about to
punch Butch's lights out (or should that be light), when Sam remembers
hearing Cathy and whoever mention a posh hotel in Harrogate. Like there is
only one ?? So the boys are off to Harrogate.
Dee arrives at the hotel and is shown up to Will's room. (Naieve ?) She is
pissed off and lays down the law. Says she loves Pollard and this never
happened. Will looks dumbfounded, but manages to offer some champagne, since
it has already been ordered.
Home farm
THE MEAL. Chris invites Viv and Vic in and says the meal is nearly ready.
I'll just see to the veg, says Chris. Vic says 'who are you calling a veg'.
Nicely directed at a man in a wheelchair :-)
Posh hotel
The NKP is in progress and the boys find it (surprise surprise). They go
round the back to sneek in.
Wills hotel
Dee says she must go, I'm not free. I love him. No you don't. All that guff.
Run away with me, anywhere to be with you. I will make you happy. They have
a snog at some stage and then Dee says she has some feelings for him but she
has to go and this must never be mentioned again. Goodbye. Will looks like
blubbing. Is this the gate being left open for future episodes ?
Pollards
Ned and Jan are out for a meal. Her first public appearance since she came
home. It's very rowdy with all the activity kids in. She's enjoying herself
when Kim and Steve come in for a meal. It's too busy and they are about to
leave whem Kim spots Jan. I'll try and quote this bit verbatim as it was a
real shocker for me. Kim:"So you're back are you ? Well the asylum could
have had the decency to warn me." Ned:"We've just come for a quiet night
out, Kim". Kim:"I haven't had one of those since she stole my child". Ned:
"Come on we're going home." Jan: "I haven't finished my meal yet". Kim: "Let
me help you" and pours Jan's meal on her lap "and stay out of my sight". I
was genuinely surprised by this. It was excellent TV, but it was very hard
hitting. I suppose it does reflect peoples inability to deal with mental
illness. It was rather well summed up the other night when Lisa said to Jan
'if had been women's trouble people would just ask how the plumbing was, but
the head.....'.
Posh hotel
The boys are ogling the sexy underwear being modelled by Tara and the other
girls. Mandy catches them but Sam manages to sneek through a door marked
female models only. Whilst Mandy is getting stuck in about ruining her
business and threatening a severe kicking by the bouncers, Sam is getting
tea and biscuits from the models and being asked to undo a bra :-) (Mind
you why she had to ask Sam is beyond me. All the girls I've known just reach
round and bingo. Well OK, both Mrs Jonno and Tara.)
Home Farm
Kim and Steve arrive home at the end of the Windsor/Chris/Miss Piggy 'dinner
party'. Kim gets right stuck in. 'It's bad enough having Eliza Doolittle
staying here, but I'm not having her oikish clan too.' Something about sluts
and shopkeepers and get out. Wow, she is on form tonight.
Outside somewhere
Zoe and Becky Cairns have left the NKP and are walking. Becky asks Zoe if
they can see each other again....alone. Zoe asks if she is getting the right
signals and Becky says she doesn't know she is confused. Drone Cairns
arrives on the scene. Could Zoe have a new girlfriend next week ?????
Posh hotel
Mandy allows the boys to get off without a beating in return for a favour.
"And now, ladies, to finish with we have some X rated material performed by
some first timers......The Peeping Toms." On come Zak, Butch, Terry and
Paddy in boxers shorts only (except for Zak and Butch who still have their
hats on). The girls goes wild with laughter....along with Sam who is still
with the models. He always gets the last laugh !!!
Well that's it. This has taken me ages and several gins so apologies for any
typos and bits I've missed.
Also I start lambing tomorrow so I will be unable to do 2 or 3 Thursdays.
Anyone like to step in temporarily. I'll be back after that. Here's hoping
for volunteers.
--
Jonno
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Please remove *no* from Jonno to e-mail
Keir [Sco] :->
On Thu, 12 Mar 1998 22:15:08 -0000, "Jonno"
<Jo...@logan.prestel.co.uk> I see yae wrote:
~>The boys are ogling the sexy underwear being modelled by Tara
The Dam were Not ,I just looked back at the video and NO Tara <Sob>
Dave ;-)
ps,Didn't you like the way I wrote tonight ep ? ;->
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