Good TV Tonight
Geoff Miller
This evening, on whatever show NBC places opposite "60 Minutes,"
I saw a segment on this British bunny-hugger woman who's on a
crusade to get the Spaniards to do away with certain traditions
that she feels are cruel to animals. There was lots of good
footage of bizarre rituals, but the best segment was the one
showing this Limey twitess being enthusiastically gored by a
bull.
She was in this Pamplona-esque sort of setting, some ancient
town with narrow, cobbled streets through which a bull was
being goaded. The woman was filming the goings-on with the
intention of using the footage as ammunition in her anti-
cruelty crusade. All of a sudden, and for no apparent reason,
the bull turned and charged her. Luckily, someone else had
been taping _her_, because what happened next was fucking
awesome.
This bull picked up Miss Tell-the-Natives-What's-Good-For-'Em
by his horns and tossed her around like a rag doll. That's a
common figure of speech, I realize, but I mean it -- the sheer
strength of that animal was just incredible, and it was though
the woman's body was made of wet tissue paper. He slammed her
against the walls on either side of this narrow little street,
then tossed her up in the air and gored her several times after
she landed on the cobblestones. Then he stood there over her
unconscious body for four minutes, confronting the crowd and
not moving a muscle. He looked like something out of one of
the Omen movies or something.
It wasn't until someone leaned out of a second-floor window and
prodded the bull from above with a pole that he snapped out of it
and allowed himseld to be driven away. The woman was taken to the
hospital with _eleven_ serious gorings, and underwent four additional
operations in the months after eventually being released. That'll
teach her, I reckon.
There was some other good stuff, too, like this gig where geese
are hung upside down by their feet from a wire that crosses over
a street. These guys come running past on horseback, one at a
time, and grab a goose by the neck as they pass underneath. When
they come to a stop, they turn around and hold up the dead, limp
goosehead and neck as the crowd cheers. If I ever get reincarnated
as a goose, that's the way _I_ wanna go. Talk about class, and
an adrenaline rush to boot!
Maybe a variation on this would make an interesting form of capital
punishment: the condemned could be suspended in a prone position,
with an angry bulldyke roaring by underneath on a Harley and ripping
his dick off.
Another good one is this ceremony where a goat is lifted up to
the top of a church belltower with a rope and then dropped.
Sometimes the things are caught in a blanket, but other times
they're allowed to smack _el pavemento_. Too bad the Austin
cops weren't able to do that with Charles Whitman...
Geoff
--
"Miller, you're one sick bastard. You're so sick that no one
can possibly take you seriously." -- j...@enclave.org (J.R. Dean)
Miller Steven
geo...@netcom.com (Geoff Miller) writes:
> [The bull and the bunny hugger.] That'll
>teach her, I reckon.
I doubt it.
>Geoff
One of my favourite pieces of Spanish animal cruelty dates from a few
years ago, when the British press made a fuss over it. This was the famous
Donkey Crushing Fiesta, a long-time tradition in some poxy rural village.
Apologies if this has been laughed at in this forum before.
The Donkey Crushing Fiesta is simple to set up and run, and is performed
as follows:
(a) Locate and restrain a donkey.
(b) Locate and restrain the fattest man in the village.
(c) Place Fats on Donkey.
(d) Whip Donkey until it staggers to its feet and then prod it about
village so everyone can have a good laugh.
Repeat whipping until Donkey snuffs from exhaustion. End of Donkey Crushing
Fiesta.
Naturally, when the bunny-huggers in the UK found out about this, they
were incensed. Funds were raised. They sent off rescue missions to Save
The Donkey from its Cruel Fate.
They failed, and the villagers crushed that year's donkey just as they
had since time immemorial. Long may they do so.
Cheers.
Steven.
--
Dr S.M. Miller,
mil...@ere.umontreal.ca
hint...@aol.com
mil...@CHIMCN.UMontreal.CA (Miller Steven) wrote:
>The Donkey Crushing Fiesta is simple to set up and run, and is performed
>as follows:
>(a) Locate and restrain a donkey.
>(b) Locate and restrain the fattest man in the village.
>(c) Place Fats on Donkey.
Looks like my 97 vacation plans are set.
Pamela
I watched an episode of; "When Animals Attack" on Sunday night. If you
REALLY want to see how idiotic people can be, than this is the show to
check out. I also find it interesting that T.V. has de-evolved into some
sort of sadistic window into the world.
Ceriess
In article <telnet.8...@chims1.CHIMCN.UMontreal.CA>,
mil...@CHIMCN.UMontreal.CA (Miller Steven) wrote:
snip-------------
> One of my favourite pieces of Spanish animal cruelty dates from a few
> years ago, when the British press made a fuss over it. This was the famous
> Donkey Crushing Fiesta, a long-time tradition in some poxy rural village.
> Apologies if this has been laughed at in this forum before.
>
fashion---snip
>
> Naturally, when the bunny-huggers in the UK found out about this, they
> were incensed. Funds were raised. They sent off rescue missions to Save
> The Donkey from its Cruel Fate.
snip..........
Steven You'll be happy to know that the very Bunnyhugger that raised all
those pounds to raise pounds off of humiliated asses was the hapless
do-good tourist that was nearly gored to death by our impressively
agressive friend Senor Bull.
Ain't life just tooooo ironic?????
Ceriess
The Checkered Demon
In article <329229...@wsource.com>, Pamela
<p...@wsource.com> wrote:
> I watched an episode of; "When Animals Attack"
> on Sunday night. If you REALLY want to see how
> idiotic people can be, than this is the show to
> check out.
Ah, now *that's* entertainment!
Highlight: Brave Hunter marinates himself in Buck Lure
(doe sex scent) as a prank and waits for a mate. Sure'nuf,
a big ol' buck comes-a-courtin' and pummels the bastard
half to death -- *all while his wife stands there and videos
the assualt -- start to finish*...
Hot Damn. Now I know what to send my favorite hunter for
Xmas... A gallon of DoeDrippings! ...
Nah... He'd prob'ly just drink it away and not even thank me...
Cheers!
Checker(II)
"You'd probably save an animal life before you'd save a human...
You're really twisted, pal..." -- Checker's Hall of F(l)ame