The States is not for Everyone
alzerom
today returned to the homeland. Among problems cited: no busses,
getting up in the morning, cooking in general, we never go anywhere,
belching, grocery stores, everyone speaks English, child didn't want
to go to school.
Discussions were unable to resolve the problems. It's been a great
dissappointment.
The States is not for everyone in spite of initial enthusiasm. Reply
not sought, this is information only.
Darren L. Shields
disappointment for you. Don't give up hope though. With 6 billion people
in this world surely there is someone for everyone! :-)
Darren
"alzerom" <al...@nc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:491b9494.03081...@posting.google.com...
Booger
> today returned to the homeland. Among problems cited: no busses,
> getting up in the morning, cooking in general, we never go anywhere,
> belching, grocery stores, everyone speaks English, child didn't want
> to go to school.
Everyone speaks English, what did she expect? Did you not talk about public
transortation, your recreational habits (never going anywhere) etc. Man, I
have discussed every aspect of American life with my fiancee until we're
exhausted. I believe she is as prepared as well as can be and knows exactly
what to expect.
alzerom
> transortation, your recreational habits (never going anywhere) etc. Man, I
> have discussed every aspect of American life with my fiancee until we're
> exhausted. I believe she is as prepared as well as can be and knows exactly
> what to expect.
Everything was discussed, she speaks excellent English, paid for
driving lessons from the country of origin so she had a driving
license- afraid to drive, 5 weeks in the states and one week was on
'vacation at the beach'. I believe there was a paralysis of mind/body
caused by homesick and inability to adjust. I was the one who belched
;-) (twice too!)
Would you like to..? No
How about...? No
Will you get out of bed in the morning...? (depression) "No, I'm on
vacation"...
Even support from the home country, "give her a little time"....
didn't seem to change things.
Like I said, "The states is not for everyone." And yes it was a huge
dissappointment. I also feel personally rejected, but I don't think
it was me, but rather the adjustment was just too much. Hey, it's
different over there.... very different, and we all are taking a BIG
CHANCE. ---
Some bad outcomes should be posted to keep ourselves in reality. I
haven't seen many.
Dekka's Angel
Originally posted by Alzerom
> > what to expect.
>
>
> How about...? No
> vacation"...
>
>
>
Is your ex-betrothed from a country where she could not have a visitors
visa here previously? Someone else reported a situation where their
Russian fiancee effectively treated the K-1 trip as a personal vacation
to the US, then promptly went home with similarly lame excuses. I
wouldn't be so ready to chalk this up to depression on her part, just a
lack of commitment. Or frankly, willing ignorance - if she really
wanted to know about her new home, she could have taken some time to
learn about it before she got here. It's not that hard, even when eyes
are blinded by "streets are paved with gold" stereotypes.
You have every right to be depressed - obviously after everything we go
through to bring our beloveds here, this is a major disappointment.
But when your ex-soon-to-be beloved wife to be is worried more about
your belching habits than about trying to build a relationship (in which
sooner or later cooking is required) or getting her child in school, I
say you're better off in the long run. Coming to the US is a massive
adjustment for the immigrating partner -- I am watching it being
experienced first hand myself - but if the commitment is there coming to
accept and appreciate the differences is just, as Dekka says whenever I
worry that yet another thing about America is getting on his Aussie
nerves, "details".
I'm sorry this happened to you. In time, all will sort itself.
--
Dekka's Angel
Posted via http://britishexpats.com
kwallocha
Like I said, "The states is not for everyone."
I am so sorry to hear your story. I am a foreign fiancee but I have been
to the States numerous times and even lived there as an exchange student
for 11 months. Plus I had 4 years of preparing myself for this big step.
Believe me, it is a big step for the foreigner especially if you live in
a country where you have a good life but for the love of your life you
are willing to give up all your family and friends.
You really have to think about the consequences of what you are giving
up. If you are not prepared for the whole situation and you have the
feeling that it might be a mistake, you shouldn't go over there!!!!!
For nobody it is easy to start a different life in another
country. Everyday you learn new stuff!! You either can cope with
it or you cannot.
Best wishes to everyone.
Katja
--
Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Gigiola
I'm very sorry Alzarom.
And I would agree that moving, but not only to the States, is a
tremendous undertaking. Not everyone can deal with being away from
their families, their culture and all the things they have taken for
granted in their homeland.
I'm a seasoned traveller. I've lived out of my home country for over 30
years. I'm multi lingual and also highly independant. I trust my
future husband implicitly and I already have friends in the area I will
be living.
I know I'm fortunate. I've been able to travel and visit him, as he
has me, over the past 18 months. I wanted to make sure I would feel
"at home".
We still have a long time to go (2 years) before I move permanently.
Each trip we make together strengthens the ties, not only between us,
but between our families.
Not everyone can do what we have done.
I wouldn't take this as "the States not being for everyone", though
maybe they aren't, but more of a person who will never be happy outside
of her family.
Be thankful that she was honest enough to tell you before you married
and good luck for the future.
Louis
"alzerom" <al...@nc.rr.com> wrote in message
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nathan barley
My wife belched a few times.
She is the US Citizen.
I did not leave the country because of it. :)
Some of the excuses your fiancee cited were beyond lame, and just
grasping. I'm not being mean, but it sounds like she used you, as cruel
as that is. It sounds like she came here wanting a vacation, and to be
waited on hand and foot; not to work on a loving relationship.
Out of curiosity, what country was she from?
ironporer
Ok, next time I have to fart- I guess I'll just go for a walk ;).
It sounds as though you are the lucky one, although I am sure it will
take a while to see it in that light.
jeffreyhy
Nathan,
Chile
Originally posted by nathan barley
> ...
Michael D. Young
> After the long TSC process, the K1 spent 5 weeks in the States and
> today returned to the homeland. Among problems cited: no busses,
> getting up in the morning, cooking in general, we never go anywhere,
> belching, grocery stores, everyone speaks English, child didn't want
> to go to school.
Hi All,
Your child no wanting to go to school and not going anywhere you can't
blame on the USA. Those are family and parenting problems.
As far as everyone speaks English, what did you expect? I say the
ability to English should be a requirement for coming here, unless you
are under 5 years old.
Getting up in the morning, was this a problem that could have been solved
with an alarm clock or rooster? I have a problem with getting up in the
morning too, but I also want a job, so Hi Ho Hi Ho off to work I go.
You didn't like grocery stores or Safeway didn't have your favorite
cookie?
What was the problem with belching? People looked at you strange when
you did it in public? Mind if I fart?
All in all I say you didn't make any attempt to adapt or adjust. This
isn't Kansas Toto and when in Rome...
Take care,
Mike :)
Hebapotamus42
Five weeks is not anywhere near being a sufficient amount of time to
make an adjustment. It can take many months or even a couple of years.
It's too late to fix anything now for Alzerom, but generally speaking,
this is the realistic time frame that all foreign spouses and fiancees
should keep in mind in order to prevent major disappointment.
Pulaski
Originally posted by nathan barley
> My wife belched a few times.
> She is the US Citizen.
>
> I did not leave the country because of it. :) .....
Mine too, and I'm also still here. :)
Noorah101
Alzerom,
Sorry to hear your news. Sometimes life's disappointments turn out to
be blessings in disguise.
My fiance and I have also talked about adjusting. It won't be all him
doing the adjusting, either! We'll both have a new lifestyle. I'll have
to drive him around till he gets a license. He'll have to learn
English. I'll have to learn to cook real meals at regular hours instead
of opening a can of tuna for dinner. He'll have to open a whole new
business. I'll have to learn not to get annoyed when the toilet seat is
left up in the middle of the night and he'll have to learn to put it
back down again! LOL He's basically said that adjustments are necessary
no matter what you're doing or where you live. It's being with the
person you love that counts, and adjusting together.
I'm sorry she didn't want to work on it longer than 5 weeks with you.
That's just a drop in the bucket of time it would take to feel
comfortable in new surroundings. :-(
Rene
alzerom
Is your ex-betrothed from a country where she could not have a
visitors visa here previously?
YES EXACTLY
Someone else reported a situation where their Russian fiancee
effectively treated the K-1 trip as a personal vacation to the US,
then promptly went home with similarly lame excuses. I wouldn't be so
ready to chalk this up to depression on her part, just a lack of
commitment.
EXCELLENT POINT, ONCE WHEN I MENTIONED 'IN THE STATES WE GET UP
BEFORE NOON' THE REPLY WAS "WE'RE ON VACATION." MAYBE SHE WASN'T
KIDDING!
Or frankly, willing ignorance - if she really wanted to know about her
new home, she could have taken some time to learn about it before she
got here. It's not that hard, even when eyes are blinded by "streets
are paved with gold" stereotypes. You have every right to be
depressed - obviously after everything we go through to bring our
beloveds here, this is a major disappointment.
I AGREE, WITH THE POINT,
But when your ex-soon-to-be beloved wife to be is worried more about
your belching habits ....
NO ONE HAS EVER MENTIONED IT TO ME IN 57 YEARS.
.....than about trying to build a relationship (in which sooner or
later cooking is required) or getting her child in school, I say
you're better off in the long run.
MY MOM SAYS THE SAME THING
Coming to the US is a massive adjustment for the immigrating partner
-- I am watching it being experienced first hand myself - but if the
commitment is there coming to accept and appreciate the differences is
just, as Dekka says whenever I worry that yet another thing about
America is getting on his Aussie nerves, "details".
YES AND
I'm sorry this happened to you. In time, all will sort itself.
THANKS, I'M ACTUALLY FEELING BETTER IT'S BEEN 26 HOURS NOW...
THANKS TO MISS ANGEL THERE... :-)
NOW THE BOOK AND MOVIE RIGHTS ARE AVAILABLE, "BECKY'S GREAT
ADVENTURE", I NEED TO RECOVER SOME FINANCIAL INVESTMENTS FROM THIS
YEARLONG ORDEAL.
I THOUGHT THE PROBLEM WAS THE INS/BCIS BUT IT WASN'T. BCIS IS
PROBABLY PROTECTING US FROM OURSELVES!
THE STATES IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.
LoisKaye
Do you still talk to your girl?
Even though I met my fiance while he was here and he spent 5 months in the US,
I still worry about his adjustment. Not so much for the culture, but for the
fact that he is leaving his close knit family. We have had many discussions on
it. He says that we will visit them, but I'm not rich and maybe such visits
won't be as often as we would both like. All I can do is hope that things will
not be that hard on him.
I'm sending you good wishes and hopeing that soon you will heal. I know
heartbreak is a very hard thing to overcome. If you need to talk,even if it's
to vent about anything, you can e-mail me. Take good care and good luck.
alzerom
jeffreyhy <memb...@britishexpats.com> wrote in message news:<920727.1...@britishexpats.com>...
> Nathan,
> Chile
> Originally posted by nathan barley
alzerom
comments as amazement and groping for an explanation just as I am at a
loss for words. As they say... 'stuff happens'.
It's like homeland defense, we can't cover every possibility, just the
big liabilities.
I didn't mean to seek and answer just to share it with you, and
Dekka's Angel up there remembered another case a year ago. So, I
guess it does happen.
msrourke
I took a weird tact with my fiancee. I painted life in the US pretty
black. Every bad or negative thing I could think of I expounded on and
glossed over the good things in the process. I told her that life at
home, Thailand, was more relaxing, less stress, safer and, in many ways,
better. At one point, I stopped and told her maybe I was doing the wrong
thing by her by asking her to emigrate, maybe I should move. She was
sooooooooooooo angry with me, but I stuck to my guns and told her to go
chew on what I had told her. It was nerve wracking, but I didn't call,
didn't e-mail and didn't go online for almost a week. One day she called
me and told me to call her. I did, she only said, "I love you and we
will make it work.". Now that we have our NOA2, we'll find out soon
enough if she is ready for the challenge. :)
Jeffrey Scharpf
My wife also had some problems adjusting.. some of the same reasons.. no
public transportation, we live in a "suburb" in which everyone else goes to
work and she is home alone (she stays home with her/our son for now) and she
becomes bored..
Believe it or not, even though she's bored in the day, she doesn't really
ever want to go out .. so I take her to simple places. parks, beaches.. and
she is now starting to plant flowers and change our house.. she feels much
better about it. Also, we're fortunate because our son loves his school
here.. she's been here over a year and we've had our rough times, and last
summer we had that rash of kidnappings and sniper shootings.. my wife was
very frightened by that ..and she is afraid of tornados.. we live in
Wisconsin, so we get a few warnings every summer.. :)
but she is adjusting now..
I personally feel that it is much easier to get around in Europe if you're
used to that kind of life. The train systems are amazing. We are FAR too
dependant upon our cars here..
Also (my wife is from Romania) over there, medical things are always
covered.. here we get HUGE bills because my insurance doesn't like the word
"AUTISM"...(long story lol)
Anyway.. I hope you get over this.. You are right.This country is not for
everyone.. sounds like she was depressed.. my wife gets homesick many
times.. so I try to do something special for her.. it's difficult no doubt..
in this country we're (the men) used to women being independant and taking
care of themselves.. I think American women are "harder".. and being married
to a Romanian has taught me that we as men must go back to the traditional
things.. (sometimes eating our words in an argument just to let them have
the last word)..
ok I talked to much..
Good luck in the future!
Jeff
"alzerom" <al...@nc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:491b9494.03081...@posting.google.com...
Ranjini
Originally posted by Jeffrey Scharpf
> <snip>and
> she is now starting to plant flowers and change our house.. she
> feels much
> better about it.
>
It's a slow process, Jeffrey. (Btw nice to have an update on the two of
you. ) But she'll get there :)
She is going through all the stages the same way I did. We are now
married four years, I'm finally a US citizen and now the US is home. I
couldn't imagine being anywhere else. A woman will go through almost
anything for the love of a good man. So take heart. Our best wishes to
the two of you and your son...
jeffreyhy
Alzerom,
Of course I believe it. You posted it before.
Originally posted by Alzerom
>
>
> > Nathan,
> > Chile
michael
living in a delusion. When i left my native city(not very small but
'small' in the sense that there was more human-to-human bonding as
compared to big cities), where i lived for 19 years, and came to a
metro, i was amazed to find people not_like_my_own_folks. Slowly the
transition occured, to grasp and understand that these new ppl are
also human beings, just more busy and following more active lifestyles
and hence having less time to be friendly, as compared to my buddies
back home.
Then i moved to a biiiig metro, after having lived in the smaller
metro for 4 years, again another transition. Less
folks_like_my_own_folks_in_the_smaller_metro, but the transition
occured. All this just teaches you to understand varying lifestyles
and viewpoints.
Then i moved overseas, another big transition, where i didnt get folks
to speak my native tongue, didnt get holidays on festivals which till
now looked like granted from heaven in my life. Lol, the transition
was smooth, one just learns sooooo much.
To cut long stories short, i think its up to the persons involved in
the situation to adapt. Cry, crib - or work things out - the choice is
yours.
Of course as immigrants we will miss our folks back home, we will miss
the foood the culture the langauge and n number of things, but its for
the luv of our lives. We will even miss the playgroud we used to play
soccer in. Me and my girl had tons of discusssions on this and we know
we are into this together. The faith has to be there that you are
gonna adapt, both of you for that matter, and you will be fine.
God bless all!!
Warm regards,
Michael.
Ranjini <memb...@britishexpats.com> wrote in message news:<921325.1...@britishexpats.com>...
nathan barley
Originally posted by Alzerom
> You won't believe this.... Chile.
Last I knew, Chile's native language was Spanish, and Spanish is a very
common and widespread language here in the States, especially in the
coastal cities.
That's no excuse though, in coming to the US to live you are expected
to, and should, assimilate and adapt. If I moved to Japan, I wouldn't
throw a fit because no-one spoke English; I'd start to learn Japanese.
It really sounds like her heart wasn't in it, and I'm very sorry that
you had to expend yourself emotionally and financially in order that she
could have her little vacation at your expense. Life goes on though,
and you'll find something more worthwhile just around the corner.
ScottHenshaw
Someone once told me that you only truly know if someone loves you when
farting under the covers is a standard part of the relationship.
Scott
--
NOA1 NSC December 16th, 2002
Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Leslie66
When it was time for me to come home, after being in Morocco for three
weeks to get married. I didn't want to leave, and I have missed that
place since I've been home. I cried when I had to say good-bye to his
mother. She doesn't speak English and I don't speak Arabic. More
often than not, my husband was the only person around me that spoke
English. And he would try to fill me in on what people were saying,
but I could not expect him to be a full time translator. I was not
surprised that everyone spoke Arabic, nor was I annoyed. I tried to
learn some Arabic, and I did pick up a little bit. I was also not
offended by the fact that we used public transportation and cabs
instead of driving around in an air-conditioned car, like I am used to.
I actually was on vacation, my honeymoon as a matter of fact, and I
only got to sleep late a couple of times.
It was the happiest three weeks of my life.
Home is where the heart is. I told my husband if he cannot adjust to
life in the U.S. we would return to Morocco together. I asked him to
give it 5 years here. I also told him if there was any problem with his
visa, I would move to Morocco immediately. He is leaving his home and
his family, his childhood friends, his customs and culture. I have to
be willing to do the same for him. The level of commitment has to be
there from both partners.
Leslie
Hypertweeky
I am sorry things didn't work for you :(:(, It is very messed up that
she didn't even want to try.
Whenever you feel bummed post a message here, we are here for you!!:):)
Noorah101
Originally posted by ScottHenshaw
> Someone once told me that you only truly know if someone loves you
> when farting under the covers is a standard part of the relationship.
>
> Scott
Scott, as embarrassing as it is to admit, can you believe my dad did
that to my mom on their wedding night??? By the way, they've now been
married just over 64 years :-) Guess your theory proves right! LOL
Rene
ScottHenshaw
Rene, that's funny:) You better not tell your husband that:) I think
that it is really embarrassing when you wake up because you think that
you farted and try to pretend nothing happened, but you know that it
wasn't the alarm clock that woke you up:)
alzerom
And thanks for the offer to "stop by"....
Shannon
can use each other's toothbrush. I love hubby very very much, but I'm not
using his toothbrush. LOL
Shannon
"ScottHenshaw" <membe...@britishexpats.com> wrote in message
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Gasherjohn
Poor Alzerom, I can't imagine what it must be like to go through all the
effort of getting your loved one into the country and then be spurned
and rejected. I hope your fiance looks in here and feels remorse for
what she did to you. For your part though, I think someone said that you
should be grateful that she stopped it before the marriage and I agree
with that although it must be small consolation.
As for farting.... there really is only one solution to that problem....
get a dog and blame it. Ours let one rip the other evening and it was
almost a leave the room atmosphere so the responsibility for anything I
could ever manage after that can easily be passed on to our canine
companion :)
shepslady
"Home is where the heart is"......I am a believer in that but having
left an entire family behind I will always think of NZ as my home too. I
can live anywhere as long as my husband is by my side but I will always
feel the tug of my homeland pulling on my heart strings. Adjustment is a
funny thing & something we all handle differently. The sad thing here I
think is the fact that 5 weeks was no where near long enough to give
your relationship a real go.
As a new arrival in the US I find a lot of things rather strange but
they are all things that I can usually laugh at with my husband. Guess
the biggest hurdle I have is trying to get people to understand what Im
saying. Now thats funny for me because I come from an English speaking
country & have only spoken English all my life. Seems the NZ accent is
something most Americans find "cute" but difficult to understand. I
usually handle it by laughing it off & telling people Im not the one
with an accent here, everyone else here has one!!
Hope things get better for you as Im sure they will with each passing
day & you put this down to another of lifes little experiences that you
dont have to suffer again.
Regards
Shepslady.
P.S. Scott re the farting thing. That put a huge smile on my face &
brought back some funny memories of the start of our living
together. My husband for the first 6 months always left the room to
fart thinking that he was being sneaky but I always heard him
anyhow. Familiarity breeds contentment because now anything goes &
he delights in letting one rip under the covers:D. Guess that puts
a whole new meaning to sharing huh??
--
shepslady
Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Shannon
Hi, I've travelled a lot (also lived abroad being married to an
anthropologist) and we read a LOT about culture shock. If you are
going somewhere willingly culture shock doesn't usually set in for a
few MONTHS!
The first period in a foreign culture is usually described as "the
honeymoon". Typically people relish the difference, the novelty, the
quaint way people do things. Angel66's description of her time in
Morocco is typical. People are very often happy.
This wears off after a few months and then one typically thinks only the
worst of the new place. I was living on an indonesian island and can
recall this point vividly. Everything was too hard. Trying to speak
the language, trying to enjoy fish and rice AGAIN, not having
newspapers, being looked at strangely, not getting the jokes. This is
the hardest time and people sometimes give up and go home (this is the
less than a year time).
Between some months and a year things usually settle down. The strange
things become easier, the novelty returns in part, you know ppl etc.
I agree with posters who think it unlikely that someone who planned
to stay would leave within 5 weeks. It is just too soon to give up
your dreams.
Shannon
Leslie66
Shannon,
I'm glad you pointed out the honeymoon phase and culture shock
adjustment later. One of my biggest concerns is that my husband will
miss his family/friends/culture to the point of unhappiness. He thinks I
worry too much. He knows he will miss them, but us being together is the
most important thing. What I was really trying to point out in my
original post about Morocco, was that the fiance that left after 5 weeks
really did not try. He obviously put a lot of effort, time, and money
into arranging for her to come and she did not bother to meet him half
way. It's a big adjustment for both parties once you really start to
think about it. A big adjustment and a lot of sacrifices from both for
it to work.
Leslie
Noorah101
Originally posted by Leslie66
> Shannon,
>
>
> Leslie
It's interesting to see the other side of the coin. From the USC point
of view, we keep hearing "make sure he's not just coming for a green
card", which can get quite annoying for us USC's! However, my fiance
was telling me that in Turkey, people are telling him ... "ohhhh you get
to go live in America, you get to be rich, you get to have a luxurious
life...etc." He gets annoyed at those remarks and says, "Look! I'm
going there because my fiancee is there and I want to marry her! That's
it! If it weren't for her, I'd stay right here in Turkey where I
already know the language and culture and have a successful business,
why disrupt my life for the unknown unless it's to be with the woman
that will stand beside me forever?" It's as disturbing for him to
explain that the street here are NOT paved with gold w/o hard earnest
work, as it is for me to keep explaining that he's not just after a
green card. :-)
Rene
Gasherjohn
Tis love that drew me to this place
to see her smile, her happy face
We faced the pain to get me here
and share our love not far but near
What other reasons could there be
to live together... can't you see?
Oh BCIS stop being a pain
I'm not a green skinned alien
We're just a couple, meant to be
so face the facts, and let us free!
John
Leslie66
Originally posted by Noorah101
> It's interesting to see the other side of the coin. From the USC
> point of view, we keep hearing "make sure he's not just coming for a
> green card", which can get quite annoying for us USC's! However, my
> fiance was telling me that in Turkey, people are telling him ...
> "ohhhh you get to go live in America, you get to be rich, you get to
> have a luxurious life...etc." He gets annoyed at those remarks and
> says, "Look! I'm going there because my fiancee is there and I want
> to marry her! That's it! If it weren't for her, I'd stay right here
> in Turkey where I already know the language and culture and have a
> successful business, why disrupt my life for the unknown unless it's
> to be with the woman that will stand beside me forever?" It's as
> disturbing for him to explain that the street here are NOT paved with
> gold w/o hard earnest work, as it is for me to keep explaining that
> he's not just after a green card. :-)
> Rene
Rene,
Here, Here!!!! I completely agree. The first thing my sister said to
me when she found out about my engagement was, "I bet he looked at you
and saw a green card." My response to her was. "He doesn't even know
what a green card is." And he didn't. He's well educated, has a
degree, reads and writes 3 languages fluently, and can understand a
great deal of several other languages. He is by no means wealthy, but
certainly lives a comfortable life. Before we got married he was
offered a lucrative position in Saudi Arabia and he turned it down.
When I asked him why, he said, "I'm not going anywhere without you."
It's so insulting for people to assume he so desperate to get to the
U.S. and I'm so pathetic I wouldn't know I was being used.
Leslie
Marjeta
I'm sorry that this happened to you. Somehow it is true - US is not for
everyone. And people are very different in their perception of home and
in their attachment to their family and strenght of their roots.
I've been here in the US for 9 months now and I'm still adjusting.
Homesickness can be a HUGE problem that triggers disatisfaction in every
aspect of your daily life. The person just can't get over the difference
between the home and the new. It doesn't even matter if the aspects are
good, the person will always perceive them negatively. It is something
hard to avoid if you are prone to that as an individual. I have visited
the States numerous times before moving here and the culture shock was
still HUGE. There's a big difference between being a tourist and
actually living here. It also depends on what kind of environment you'll
end up in, if your husband/wife is gonna be there for you etc.
This is a common problem and it is not always something that can be
predicted and discussed in advance - unfortunately.
I have gone through it and still am. The best thing you can do is just
accept that this country will not and can't be the same as your old
country and that it might never replace the feeling that you had when
you lived "home". Adjusting to it takes a while for some people, just
taking things as they are. In the end we all gotta remember the reason
that brought us here was love, even though it is hard on us sometimes.
Good luck to everyone! :)
beyness
Everyone has their complaints... complaints from Greg: crap cheese, no
good jars of Pesto, long work hours, lots of fat people, etc...
But the good outweight the bad: lakes, mountains and oceans within an
hour away, being with me, cheap rent, loads to see, awful junk food to
explore, space, space, and more space...
it just depends on the person...
shepslady
Beyness I dont mean to laugh but your comments re the crap cheese sound
so familar. As much as I love being here with my husband I will NEVER
get used to the terrible cheese in this country. Everytime I order
something I say NO CHEESE please & I see my husband raise his eyebrows.
My other pet hate here is the bread but they are of no real concern,
just another of those little things I will learn to live without & laugh
about. Im so glad my concerns are insignificant & things that will be
easy to deal with. When I think about it the easiest thing for me to
deal with are the people here & that is just one of the many things that
help make my adjustment relatively easy. Please tell Greg I understnd
exactly what he means but I try to look at the things that are available
here that I find better than at home & I know Im passing the test.
Best wishes to you & yours
Regards
Shepslady
Ang
As for the "wind" topic, a few weeks after I arrived in the US, my
future husband asked if it was okay if he farted in my presence. To my
endless regret ... hehe ... I said yes. Now, like most men, he thinks
farts are funny. :oP
A question for the women ... do you happily fart in front of your
hubby? Or do you, like me, stick to the line "Women don't fart"? :D
Angi
veryfunny
Originally posted by Alzerom
> After the long TSC process, the K1 spent 5 weeks in the States and
> today returned to the homeland. Among problems cited: no busses,
> getting up in the morning, cooking in general, we never go anywhere,
> belching, grocery stores, everyone speaks English, child didn't want
> to go to school.
>
> Discussions were unable to resolve the problems. It's been a great
> dissappointment.
>
> The States is not for everyone in spite of initial enthusiasm. Reply
> not sought, this is information only.
Speechless x infinity.
--
Aluminium pronouced the American way.
Posted via http://britishexpats.com
Noorah101
Originally posted by Ang
>
> farts are funny. :oP
>
>
> Angi
Hi Angi...
Not something I'd usually post in public, but since you dared to
ask....I'm just like you. In my first marriage, I went 5 years without
doing that anywhere near my hubby. Then, I did once and he was
amazed...he said "you can DO that??" I said, well, yes, it's natural.
He said he thought I was different and couldn't even DO that!! LOL I
still laugh when I think of that scenario. I doubt I would ever feel
comfortable doing certain things in front of my husband (or any other
family member or friend...or public...lol)
Embarrassingly signing my name to this one...Rene...lol
ironporer
OMG... Women DO fart??? You have just destroyed my Victorian concept of
women as virginal vessels that never have an impure thought, and who
would never even Think about flatulance, let alone speak of it... and of
course (dear God!) never-ever actually cut one.
Next I suppose you're going to tell me that Bush fibbed a little about
that whole WMD thing, or that Hillary is ...ehem... a little
dissatisfied with the man who shares her bed (Bill I mean) and might
actually prefer the fairer sex herself (wonder if they fart together??).
Originally posted by Noorah101
Noorah101
Oh Man....Why do MY embarrassing posts have to keep appearing at the TOP
of the next page?? LOLOL
Rene - still in a good mood since talking to my man twice today! :-)
Trashy Girl
shepslady <membe...@britishexpats.com> wrote:
> Beyness I dont mean to laugh but your comments re the crap cheese sound
> so familar. As much as I love being here with my husband I will NEVER
> get used to the terrible cheese in this country. Everytime I order
> something I say NO CHEESE please & I see my husband raise his eyebrows.
> My other pet hate here is the bread but they are of no real concern,
> just another of those little things I will learn to live without & laugh
> about.
Bread: if they have a Sam's Club in your area with a bakery in it, they
have a double-pack of french bread that is really quite good. The crust
is not crispy but if you put it in the oven for a short time, it's quite
crisp on the outside and very good and moist on the inside. Ask my
European husband. WE had some today with shrimp in garlic/butter sauce
for lunch and it was heaven.
Cheese is harder. Sometimes we find decent at Sam's Club, sometimes
other places like wine/liquor stores. You have to keep your eyes open
and grab it when you can. Last year before Christmas, Sam's had a 2KG
round of creamy french cheese that was soft as butter and spread on
bread like heaven, and had the most delicious taste...for under $10. I
won't bother to tell you how many of these we went back to buy before
they finally ran out of stock, but we are probably the cause of their
selling what they had<grin>. I sure wish they would get them in again.
Usually they do start getting in new stuff there when fall starts, in
preparation for the holiday season.
--
Trashy Girl
Shadoe
use the toilet while youre in there brushing your teeth or whatever. and
vice versa.
Michelle
ChrisE
Re The Cheese: Is so-called processed cheese being criticised? If so,
I, as a USC agree completely. It's like eating stinky plastic. But
I've always loved cheeses one can get at a deli counter in any grocery
store in the US: Cheddar, Munster, Swiss, etc. Those are good cheeses.
I mean, what's wrong with them?
Re Cutting the Cheese: Seriously, am I the only person who can hold his
flatulence until he's ready to use the restroom? Maybe I can sell work-
out videos: Sphincter's of Steel or 8 Minute Sphincter, Fart Retention.
Chris
Gigiola
Sorry, this is making me laugh!
At 12 noon every day I have a visual of my man turning over and swiping
the alarm clock. Then that roll (waterbed roll!) out of bed and a blind
stagger to the bathroom.
And I start to laugh as I visualise him sitting on the loo, cleaning his
teeth. Hey! I have a man who can multi-task!!!
shepslady
This thread has been a real crack up. I agree totally with Chris E re
the processed cheese tasting like plastic & although it has become a
sore point with my husband I always say no plastic please.
Re the cutting the cheese...thats an English saying isnt it?? My brother
in law back in NZ refers to that all the time.:D
Cheers
dekkas angel
attack friendly people. I am a liar and I cant read
I also despise persons from other countries.
"ChrisE" <membe...@britishexpats.com> wrote in message
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dekkas angel
attack friendly people. I am a liar and I cant read
I also despise persons from other countries.
"ChrisE" <membe...@britishexpats.com> wrote in message
news:962107.1...@britishexpats.com...
>
Matthew Udall
Originally posted by Steffi
> Oh, what I also forgot to mention in the previous post that I thought
> about when you guys were talking about the shitty cheese and bread: do
> you have any farmers market's where you live? We have a few here in
> Atlanta and they usually have a pretty nice variety of international
> cheese and bread.
If looking for good cheese, why not simply make it yourself? I'm
thinking of trying a batch one of these days. A guy in my homebrewing
club has been making his own cheese for a few months now, and I've
tasted quite a few samples from his different batches, all "very"
good. From what he's told me about the process, it takes 2 gallons of
milk, very few utensils, not much time, not much work, for a large
amount of cheese.
Steffi
Wow, I can't believe someone would just give up after 5 weeks!! I am
sooo sorry to hear that! As harsh as this may sound, but it honestly
seems to me like she wasn't coming to the US for the relationship at
all. I'm sorry that this women gave all the rest of us a bad reputation
on top of everything. I hope that you will find someone that can be true
to you before long. :)
I guess my situation of adjusting to the US was pretty easy. I moved to
Atlanta when I was 11 because of my dad's job, so I remember more of
here and feel more at home in the US than I do in Germany where I was
born!! As a matter of fact it is really weird having to go through this
process because I consider the US home already. It's also really weird
that I had more freedom before than I do now. I used to have a car and a
drivers license and everything. Now they changed the law in Georgia so
that you need a SSN to have a drives license so of course since my
drivers license expired I can't even renew it.
Originally posted by ScottHenshaw
> Someone once told me that you only truly know if someone loves you
> when farting under the covers is a standard part of the
> relationship.
OMG, that is like the funniest thing ever!! *LOL* I was sitting here
giggeling uncontrollably for like 5 minutes, haha. But it is sooooo true
now that you mentioned it. *giggle* :)
Steffi
Oh, what I also forgot to mention in the previous post that I thought
about when you guys were talking about the shitty cheese and bread: do
you have any farmers market's where you live? We have a few here in
Atlanta and they usually have a pretty nice variety of international
vegetables anyway. Plus they usually get some of those internationl
items that you're missing from home that you can't get in your average
supermarket. I definitely recommend checking up on them!
Lucky Stars
just got a dud there. She probably expected to come over and sit on her ass
and not work or do anything and living in a dream world. She should have fit
in good, typical american "b"
"dekkas angel" <dekka@Iamatroll&liar.com> wrote in message
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the dead troll society
gotta catch a flight tomorrow.
See you losers when I get back
"Steffi" <member@british_expats.com> wrote in message
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