[Laughs] First Date
Tuyet Pham
This message is in MIME format. The first part should be readable text,
while the remaining parts are likely unreadable without MIME-aware tools.
Send mail to mi...@docserver.cac.washington.edu for more info.
--------------55B245C11B80
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=us-ascii
Content-ID: <Pine.OSF.3.95.97...@plato.ucs.mun.ca>
First Date
This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca
College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is
also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has
never had the courage. Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her
at home and musters up the courage to ask her out. She accepts, and
they make dinner plans for Saturday night.
Friday night, this guy goes out with all of his buddies, and drinks
like Prohibition is coming back. Saturday, he is in such bad shape
that he can't make it through twenty minutes without either puking or
shitting.
After several hours of this, he is able to stop puking, but he is
still running to the toilet every 20 minutes to shit. He doesn't want
to cancel the date, because he's afraid he won't ever talk to her
again. So they meet in Westchester, and take the train to New York
City (about a 30 minute ride ).
They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the
appetizers to use the bathroom. They enjoy the rest of the appetizers
without interruption , but he has to go back again during the entrees.
They decide to get dessert . During dessert, our hero feels another
rumbling, but doesn't want to look like a complete bathroom freak, so
he holds it.
After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of
gas stored up. He decides to let this little bit of gas fly right
there at the table (discreetly, of course). Unfortunately, this little
bit of gas came with another little surprise. "Oh shit," he thinks
(and feels).
Instead of running to the bathroom right away, our hero immediately
leans on the arms of his chair to keep from sitting on this surprise.
He maintains this yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to
figure out what to do before his tan pants...
(a) start to smell, or
(b) start to show stains on the outside.
He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the restaurant. Oh, by the
way, he is walking like a cowboy. On the way to the train station,
they pass the Gap.
"Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater that I was looking at last
week?" he asks.
"No problem, I'd like to look around too," she replies.
They go into the Gap. Fortunately, at the Gap, men's fashions are on
the right, women's fashions are on the left. They split up. Our hero
grabs the first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis.
After selecting a pair that most closely resemble his current outfit,
he brings both items to the register. His eyes are on his date (still
on the other side of the store) to make sure that she doesn't see him
buying the pants. He doesn't even want the sweater, so he says through
clenched teeth (just in case his date can read lips from 40 feet away)
"Just the pants."
"What?" asks the Gap girl.
"Just the pants!" (His eyes still trained on his date.)
Gap girl: "Oh, OK."
He pays for the pants and walks over to his date, then they leave the
store.
They board the train just before it leaves the station and find two
seats in the middle of the car. Without sitting down, our hero excuses
himself and walks to the bathroom in the back of the car. He gets to
the bathroom as the train departs, and quickly rips off his pants and
boxer shorts. He rolls them into a ball and throws them out the
window. After cleaning himself off, he opens the Gap bag and pulls
out...just the sweater.
**PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD DO IN THIS
SITUATION. **
As you must have realized, the only solution is to wear the sweater as
pants . So he squeezes his legs into the arms of the sweater and pulls
the rest of the fabric tight around his waist. He can only keep
himself covered by hunching over. Walking will be a new challenge
altogether.
Rather than going through the absolute trauma of returning to his seat
and explaining (or creating an elaborate lie to explain) the entire
incident, our hero waits in the bathroom until the train stops at the
next station. He waits until the moment the train starts to pull away
from the station, then dashes out of the bathroom (as quickly as a
hunched over cowboy with sweater pants can dash) and jumps off the
train. He is lost and stranded somewhere between New York City and
Westchester.
He hasn't seen the girl since.
Found on the NET
--------------55B245C11B80--
Handsome Okido
Men, what a poor guy on a first date ... luckily it's not me.
Thank too many bunches for the good work TPham !
Have a good weekend !
Okido
----------------------------------------------------------------
Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are so many tomorrows.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Tuyet Pham <tp...@morgan.ucs.mun.ca> wrote in article
<Pine.OSF.3.95.970327...@plato.ucs.mun.ca>...
:
: First Date
:
sau...@aol.com
>
> This message is in MIME format. The first part should be readable text,
> while the remaining parts are likely unreadable without MIME-aware tools.
> Send mail to mi...@docserver.cac.washington.edu for more info.
>
>--------------55B245C11B80
>Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; CHARSET=us-ascii
>Content-ID: <Pine.OSF.3.95.97...@plato.ucs.mun.ca>
>
>
Hi there,
I think you should stop posting these story here.
I read SCV at work and this one made me laugh so loud. I just afraid my
boss will know.
Thanks.
Sa'u Ra^u (sau...@aol.com)
"Kie^'n nga~i ba^'t vi vo^ do~ng gia?"
Ga(.p chuye^.n ta`o lao chu+?i cho dda~
****************************************************************
* DDe^? ra^u kho^ng pha?i la` gia`
* DDe^? cho pha^n bie^.t dda`n ba` dda`n o^ng
* DDe^? ra^u kho^ng pha?i la` ngo^ng
* DDe^? cho pha^n bie^.t dda`n o^ng dda`n ba`
* (Ca dao VN)
****************************************************************