[Sith War] Another Death & Ghost, How BOOOORING!
Drake
of him that had appeared after he used his IID. On the three tv's in front
of them were classic cartoons. One showed Rainbow Brite, another Strawberry
Shortcake and in the center and on the largest tv were the Smurfs. The duck
seemed quite pleased while the other two Drake's protested against their
bindings and gags. The duck cared not, he didn't like these two old troll
personas of his that well and was more than happy to just sit back and watch
cartoons. "That Strawberry Shortcake chick is hot." He'd been heard to say
almost every fifteen minutes. It was interspersed with "That Rainbow Brite
chick is hot" and "That Smurfette chick is hot."
RanPer came in carrying news of the Sith War. "Sir, the Sith War isn't
over."
"Sure it is, people stopped posting, no one cares, it's over." Drake said,
tossing back a few crackers and admiring Strawberry Shortcake in a way that
she most definitely was not drawn for.
"No Sir, people are still posting. In fact, they're holding an election to
see who will rule the RASSM Planet. Or to decide who Sifo-Dyas is, I'm not
entirely sure. Either way, you're on the ballot."
"Okay, go get my sidekicks and specially trained gerbils. I'll let my dupes
watch more cartoons."
"Yes Sir."
***
Moments later everyone was assembled in the hanger bay of Drake's secret
fortress. He had no idea where it was in fact as he was just making it up as
he went. But there was Ozzy, his gerbils and... his Sith War IV sidekick
Roadkill, the telepathic python. Both Ozzy and Roadie were smiling at him,
something that should have alerted him to the fact something was amiss.
It wasn't until Ozzy picked him up that he realized his error. That and
seeing Ozzy's mouth open and his head go inside. That was the last thing
Duck Drake saw before Ozzy bit his head off. If was then that Roadie got
into the act and swallowed the rest of him.
RanPer was stunned, Drake, a main character had just been killed by his
sidekicks. Turning toward Ozzy he demanded to know why, which Ozzy actually
answered in a barely discernable fashion. "This is fucking insane. I thought
my family was bad, I'm getting the fuck out of here and I can't it if that
fucker is alive to bring me back." Ozzy said, grabbing Roadie and leaving.
Roadie projected these thoughts to RanPer "He ignored me all war and
replaced me, I'm quitting." And with that, both Ozzy and Roadie left.
RanPer looked around and wondered how the hell he was going to survive the
Sith War without a main character to be a sidekick to. "This sucks."
It was then that a Gonk droid walked by, getting RanPer's attention and
leading him to a small door marked "In Case Of Stupid Ass Death Of Drake
Main Character, Open Door". Turning to thank the Gonk droid RanPer saw that
it disappeared, he'd ponder that later. Opening the door RanPer smiled. "I
might make it out of this alive yet. And get to be Vice Ruler of the
planet."
***
Moments later, again, RanPer and whoever or whatever was behind the door
were leaving in Drake's truck, along with the gerbils.
***
At that moment, on Planet RASSM, a Jedi Ghost Drake appeared in human form.
Smiling to himself he then went about enjoying his ghosthood and settling up
old debts. Appearing inside the Porkinite hold the Jedi Ghost knelt beside
Gonk. "How ya doin' bud?"
"Gonk, gonk gonk, gomp."
"Oh, you're not the real Gonk? Sorry, you all look alike to me, even though
I am a follower."
"Gonk! Gomk, gonk gomp!"
"Yes, I'm sorry, that was rather racist of me to say. My apologies. Let me
make it up to you, how would you like to be freed from this fat fried
fools?"
"Gomp, gonk Gonk!"
"Yes, Gonk is good. So, what would you like have happen?"
"Gomp, Gonk gonk, gonp gomk, gomp gomp gonk Deity."
"You sure about that little fella?"
"Gonk."
"Alrighty, let's get that done. I got things for my ghost ass to do."
Using the Drake's Pervo Side Of the Force (tm), even as a ghost, he can
accomplish the simple task that his little buddy asked for. Waving his hand
over the little power droid, the droid was transformed into a shiny chrome
vibrator. "I hope you enjoy your new home." Drake said, before
transporting him to the Deity's nightstand.
Smiling at his good deed for the day, Jedi Ghost Drake then went to do what
he'd waited all his life to do as a Jedi Ghost... If someone could have
been seen him, which they couldn't, they would have last been seen him
entering the #rassm Women's Shower in one section of the planet. Yes, he'd
hit the jackpot as far as he was concerned.
Celaeno
>Using the Drake's Pervo Side Of the Force (tm), even as a ghost, he can
>accomplish the simple task that his little buddy asked for. Waving his hand
>over the little power droid, the droid was transformed into a shiny chrome
>vibrator. "I hope you enjoy your new home." Drake said, before
>transporting him to the Deity's nightstand.
>
>Smiling at his good deed for the day, Jedi Ghost Drake then went to do what
>he'd waited all his life to do as a Jedi Ghost... If someone could have
>been seen him, which they couldn't, they would have last been seen him
>entering the #rassm Women's Shower in one section of the planet. Yes, he'd
>hit the jackpot as far as he was concerned.
A sudden choking sensation made Jedi Ghost Drake skid to a halt,
slipping on the cheesy tiles of the empty, meatball scented shower
room. In the brief moments before he fell to the floor, he wondered
how a ghost could slip, then how Patrick Swayze could sit on things
and walk on the floor in 'Ghost', his favorite movie, then thanked the
stars he didn't need to breathe, as his trachea was completely
obstructed by someething cold and metallic.
He fell to the floor with a ghostly thud. In the following silence, a
muffled and surprised "Gonk?" could be heard.
"I guess this means I'm fired again," Jedi Ghost Drake thought to
himself.
Sith War Goddess
--
"do not meddle in the affairs of goddesses, as being
struck by lightning often offends" - Rimrunner