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The AUA Harry Potter Book 5 Countdown

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ath

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Jun 15, 2003, 3:58:38 PM6/15/03
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Only 6 Days to go!

Quote of the day:

"Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon
glasses. "It is time," he said, "for me to tell you what I should have told
you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you
everything."


Robert de Vincy

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Jun 15, 2003, 4:26:20 PM6/15/03
to
ath did write:

"Harry sat down obediently on the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk.
'Okay,' he said, glancing nervously at the Professor, 'I'm ready for the
truth, sir.'
Dumbledore stopped pacing back and forth, and stared directly at Harry.
'The truth, young Potter, is that your mother was a hamster and your father
smelled of elderberries.'"

--
BdeV

Sarah

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Jun 16, 2003, 8:32:16 AM6/16/03
to
> Only 6 Days to go!
Only 5 days to go :)

Here's a link to a short audio clip of book 5
http://www.theindychannel.com/entertainment/2268673/detail.html


ath

unread,
Jun 16, 2003, 2:04:19 PM6/16/03
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Only 5 Days to go!

Quote of the day:

"MOTORBIKES DON'T FLY!" -Uncle Vernon

Nicholas Jackson

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Jun 17, 2003, 6:32:08 AM6/17/03
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[Warning: Tongue-in-cheek rubbishing of Harry Potter follows. Also some
implied spoilers for earlier books.]

scripsit ath ...


>"Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon
>glasses. "It is time," he said, "for me to tell you what I should have told
>you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you
>everything."

``You see, and there's no easy way I can say this, Harry, all the
adventures you've had over the past few years have been... well... a
bit boring.''

Harry's mouth dropped open in dismay. Dumbledore continued, a sad
expression on his kindly old face.

``It's true, I'm afraid. All your adventures here at Hogwarts, and all
your friends, teachers, enemies, even that weedy kid - Neville, is it?
- are two-dimensional cardboard replicas of characters and events in
books by more talented authors.''

``Even that grumpy caretaker's flea-bitten, bad-tempered old cat?'' Harry
asked, shocked.

``Even the cat. Lifted wholesale from a Diana Wynne Jones novel
written twenty-five years ago. In fact, while we're on the subject,
and despite Neil Gaiman's careful and, frankly, magnanimous
protestations to the contrary, you yourself do bear a number of
striking similarities to Tim Hunter out of the Books of Magic - written
about fifteen years back. You've even got an owl, for Christ's sake.''

``B-but... what about my adventures? I've saved the world from the evils
of Lord Voldemort...'' Harry stammered.

``Yes, I suppose so. Granted, he's a bit of a predictable template
bad-guy, but save this somewhat lacklustre world you did. And I'm sure
your adventures were jolly good fun at the time. But can you remember
any of the details?''

``Well... a few years ago Voldemort turned out to be hidden in that
teacher's hat. And then... erm... that red-haired kid's pet rat turned
out to actually be a magically-disguised bad guy...''

``Whose name was...'' prompted Dumbledore.

``Erm...''

``Exactly. Even you can't remember. Pop quiz: That classmate of yours
who was killed by Voldemort. What was his name?''

``Oh, it was... ummm... Martin or something?'' hazarded Harry.

``Not even close. In fact, the only reason we remember *Voldemort*'s
name is because everyone goes round telling each other *not* to say
it. No, Harry, as hard as it may be to accept, your adventures are
entertaining enough to read about on a train, but they're not exactly
memorable. And as for being great fantastic literature...''

Harry looked down at his shoes, knowing in his heart that Dumbledore spoke
the truth.

``You're a good boy, Harry, you just lack character development, that's
all. You should have been in a Diana Wynne Jones novel, or a Philip
Pullman book. In fact, you probably are.''

``What about you, sir? What will you do now?''

``Harry, my boy, don't you worry about me. I'm an elderly wizard with
a long white beard. Plenty of options: Gandalf, Merlin, even a
sorceror in a David Eddings epic, if I feel like slumming it again.
And your little friend Hermione - plenty of career openings for a bossy
know-it-all schoolgirl character. Granted, not so many now that Enid
Blyton's dead, but I'm sure she'll find something to do. Professor
McGonagall's off back to `The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie' where she
belongs, Professor Snape has a new post as the template English villain
in a Hollywood movie, and young Mr Malfoy and your friend Ron are off
to Grange Hill to be, respectively, the class bully and the inept and
rubbish kid he picks on.''

With that, Dumbledore smiled at Harry, picked up a bucket of water, and
abruptly tipped it over Fawkes the Phoenix, who was smouldering gently
in his cage. There was a surprised squawk and a hissing sound, and
when the steam cleared, a sad, bedraggled heap of feathers.

``Always wanted to do that. Damn thing kept setting the curtains on
fire.''

nicholas

(I do quite like the books really...)

--
I can't even take the piano back - it's full of spoons.

ath

unread,
Jun 17, 2003, 4:38:37 PM6/17/03
to
*4*!!!!!!


ath

unread,
Jun 19, 2003, 7:29:07 PM6/19/03
to
there is now just 23 hours 31 minutes until book 5 is out.

as you can see i'm not going to give up on this thread just yet!

A.


Toby

unread,
Jun 19, 2003, 8:27:57 PM6/19/03
to
On Thu, 19 Jun 2003 23:29:07 +0000 (UTC), "ath" <m...@privacy.net>
wrote:

>there is now just 23 hours 31 minutes until book 5 is out.
>
>as you can see i'm not going to give up on this thread just yet!
>
>A.
>

Actually it's 22 hours and 32 minutes :P


tee. hee.

Toby

Becky Loader

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Jun 19, 2003, 9:35:49 PM6/19/03
to

"Toby" <tobaciou...@btopenworld.com> wrote in message
news:m2l4fv473ddr7gh0q...@4ax.com...

> Actually it's 22 hours and 32 minutes :P

You know, I can imagine why this might be overwhelmingly exciting to kids,
but I can't help thinking that anyone over the age of 12 might have more
pressing things on their mind.

Becky


Arthmelow

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Jun 20, 2003, 6:54:07 AM6/20/03
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"Becky Loader" <becky....@btinternet.com> wrote in message news:<bctodq$n2ck5$1...@ID-34541.news.dfncis.de>...

Hmmm, read this the other day, quite liked it:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,979606,00.html

It's typical Guardian Daily Mail bashing style, but it makes
a good point.

--
Arthmelow
ICQ: 46257364
msn: Arthmelow at hotmail dot com
Wow!!! Only one exam to go!!!

Toby

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Jun 20, 2003, 8:16:12 AM6/20/03
to

A Levels are over, I have nothing pressing on my mind, so ner ner ner
:P


Toby, in adolescent reminiscence.

Chris Share

unread,
Jun 24, 2003, 9:34:19 AM6/24/03
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On Fri, 20 Jun 2003 02:35:49 +0100, Becky Loader <becky....@btinternet.com> wrote:
You know, I can imagine why this might be overwhelmingly exciting to kids,
> but I can't help thinking that anyone over the age of 12 might have more
> pressing things on their mind.
>
> Becky

Noooo!

It's harry potter, it's wonderful! And yes I did spend all the spare
time in Dublin reading it :) Queueuing in the train
station/airport/etc... finished it last night. Wow. Not going to spoil
it for anyone else though :)

chris

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