[Sith War 2002] A Stinky Ballot

[Rainbow Heron]

Alice had just finished setting up when a man in a suit approached her
and handed her a ballot with instructions. She couldn't hear what he
was saying over all the noise of the game, but he looked like a
lawyer. That said, they all cheered when all of a sudden the
volleyball -or rather Hamillpuff covered in white icing to *look* like
a volleyball- smacked the guy upside the head and knocked him out.

Ianpuff, who had been the one who made the spike that knocked the
lawyer out, just gaped for a moment before smiling incredulously and
started rolling on the floor laughing. PeterPika walked up to the
knocked-out lawyer and did a knock-knock on his head to see if he'd
wake up. When all he heard was a hollow sound in return, and some
snoring, Alice concluded that yes indeed it was a lawyer.

A dazed Hamillpuff found his bearings and stood up. The four 'Puffs
dragged the lawyer outside the Hall of Ham and left him out near the
street with a note attatched: "Knocked up, Knock-Knocked, and knocked
out."

============

While the 'Puffs dealt with the lawyer (it took a while as they had to
haul the fat briefcase too), Alice sat down with the other three and
read what he had given her. They then had another laughing fit. When
the 'Puffs returned and had recovered from their own laughing fit,
then the real trouble began: whom to vote for.

Well, first let's revisit the ballot:

=SITH WAR 2002 BALLOT - WHO IS SIFO-DYAS?=

"I certainly don't care," remarked Ianpuff.

=Who is the identity behind Sifo-Dyas as not-seen-but-talked-about
character in this summers ATTACK OF THE CLONES?=

"I thought he was the Phantom Menace," Hamillpuff grinned as he used a
nearby Porkinite's large shirt to wipe the icing used to make him look
like a volleyball off. The Porkinite slobbered and gobbled up that
corner of his shirt immediately.

=Please mark an X next to only ONE name please.=

<Everyone:>"AW MAN!"

=Only one vote per person (multiple personalities and all).=

<Everyone again:>"AW MAN! DAMN!"

=THIS MEANS YOU SUPPORTERS OF SAL WATERFALL
AND THE BALANCE POINT THREAD.=

<Everyonone:>"???"

"Well, who's on the ballot then?" Jedichu asked Alice. She then began
to read them aloud:

"the Leader,"

<Everyone:>"Who???"

"the Archon,"

Alice looked over her shoulder to see the Archon eating the head off
of a large mashed potato sculpture.

<Everyone shoook their heads in a quick "No">

"Drake,"

"I think that's that perverted duck," Seanpuff said.

"Sabé was a pervert?!" Ewanpuff gaped.

"No no no, a REAL duck," Seanpuff corrected Ewanpuff.

"Sabé was a real duck," Ewanpuff countered.

Alice went on before the fight could break out: "Sal Waterfall...nah
she's not Sifo-Dyas, um...Porkins,"

"Porkins isn't Sifo-Dyas Alice," Ianpuff smiled as he hoped none of
the Porkinites considered that one offensive.

"He's on the list," Alice said. "There's Bill Gates-"

<Everyone:>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I don't care WHAT the ballot is for, I ain't voting for Bill Gates
for NOTHING! Even if he *could* be Sifo-Dyas!" Jedichu threw his arms
up in a rare display of what could be a ranting tantrum.

"Ooookay" the others turned away from Jedichu slowly.

" JWK,"

"Never heard of him," Hamillpuff said. PeterPika gave him jealous look
as he was about to say the same thing but got cut off.

" the Nazis,"

<Everyone snickers:>"Pro-ba-bly. :-D"

Alice stopped cold on the next one cuz she knew it was a name she
should not utter during Sith Wars. "Uh...the Sith War Goddess,"

"[As Sifo-Dyas? Never]" PeterPika edged in before one of the 'Puffs
could cut him off again.

"C'Ewok...I thought his name was McEwok,"

"Why would an Ewok be involved with cloners?" Ianpuff asked very
skepticly.

"Well, if lots of people don't like Ewoks..." Seanpuff said
rhetorically.

"James Trory...don't know him, Gonk,"

Everyone looked back to the area where the alpha C'Pi clone was now
making pancakes and the leftover batter was dripping all over the Gonk
droid...and many Porkinites were dripping over the Gonk droid for a
lick.

"C'Pi,"

"Yes you're looking at him," Ewanpuff quipped.

"No he's on the list."

"Uh, well, no then," Ewanpuff crossed his arms and "humphed" in
defeat. He didn't like it when Alice didn't take his baits.

"Michael Pontey,"

"[EW! He's a pervert!]" PeterPika stuck out his tongue and made a
"yuck" face.

"Count Dooku,"

"He's classy, but he's not cloney," Seanpuff remarked.

"Darth Sidious/Palpatine,"

Everyone turned to look at Ianpuff. "Hey woah! Not me! It's just my
voice sheesh," Ianpuff defended himself.

"Oh relax we know that sport. We're just ribbin' ya!" Hamillpuff said
as he ribbed Ianpuff in the side. Ianpuff "Oomf!'ed" and rubbed his
side.

"Anakin's Father,"

"Oh dear goodness gracious not that again," Jedichu burried his face
in his hands.

"Lobot,"

"Hey, he's cool. But he's not a clone, he's a cyborg...uh...isn't he?
Right? Isn't Lobot a cyborg?" Hamillpuff looked around.

"[Whatever]" Hot ROddish shook his head and answered back. He was much
more interested in getting an opportunity to deconstruct Gonk to see
how it worked.

"The Balance Point Thread,"

<Everyone:>"The what?"

"Must be something important to have mentioned it twice," Alice
rationed. "Um, George Lucas,"

Everyone laughed out loud for about a minute. "Yeah that sounds about
right," Seanpuff snickered.

"Padme,"

<dead silence>

<Everyone:>"Nah."

"*I* am Sifo-Dyas,"

"You *ARE*?! Well bloody hell Alice you could have told us!" Ewanpuff
screamed. A couple of Porkinites briefly peeked over.

"No no no, it's on the-"

"She's not Sifo-Dyas, *I* AM SIFO-DYAS! MUAHAHAHAHAH!" Hamillpuff
stood on Jedichu's head, puffed up a little and bellowed.

After about half an hour of "*I* am Sifo-Dyas, Sparticus,
Sparksidious, Spunkadelic, Spunky-Difo, SpikaDufoo..." and other
stuff, Alice continued:

"Sith War 2002,"

"Now what the hell kind of sense does *that* make?!" Ianpuff threw up
his arms, exasperated by the list.

"None. I'd say it's our best bet so far," Seanpuff half-agreed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU FOOLS?!,"

"HEY! Don't scream at us Alice! We didn't DO anything!" Ewanpuff
yelled back. "At least *I* didn't" He turned towards Hamillpuff who
was busy squeezing whipped cream into his mouth and pretending to be
rabid around Hot ROddish.

"I'm tired of this," Ianpuff sighed. "Isn't Sifo-Dyas Sifo-Dyas?"

"Wow, you reading off the list now Ianpuff?" Alice looked at him with
one eyebrow and a corner of her mouth raised.

"Huh?"

"That was the next one on the list," she grinned. The others giggled.

"Whatever," Ianpuff surrendered. "What's left?'

"Just a write-in candidate line."

<everyone got sly grins on their faces>

"PokeHuddle," Alice said. After about 3 hours they finally decided on
a write-in candidate.

No sooner had they written it in, the ballot disappeared and
reappeared in a cardboard box at Squid Ink Inc. A suggestion box to be
exact. When some snoop co-worker at Squid Ink Inc decided to root thru
the suggestion box, their hair stood on end to see who Alice and the
Pokemon had written in as their write-in candidate:

Stinky Cheese Man

============

Later, Hamillpuff, Jedichu, and Alice were all laid out on top of the
Jump-DMC, looking up at the cieling which was littered with all sorts
of things the 'Puffs had written.

Jedichu sighed, "Y'know, part of me wishes the planet hadn't turned
back to normal. I mean, it's a wonder the Porkinites aren't all up in
arms about it yet."

"If they've even noticed," Hamillpuff agreed.

"Noticed what?" Alice asked.

"Well, it's just that...I thought we did an excellent job rebuilding
the Hall of Ham and actually used ham to rebuild it," Jedichu sighed
again.

"You're right," Alice turned a bit melancoly. "And we did such a good
job on all the decorations and stuff."

"You know, that knocked-out lawyer may be out on the curb, but he's
still on Hall of Ham property-" Hamillpuff hinted.

The three of them moved the knocked-out lawyer to the doorstep of the
Pythonist Party in the political district. It seems that everybody was
running for the identity of Sifo-Dyas.

The Hall of Ham instantly turned back into elegantly-carved ham.

============
SUMMARY:

-Alice and the Pokemon write in a joke candidate: Stinky Cheese Man

-Hamillpuff, Jedichu, and Alice move the lawyer off of Hall of Ham
property to turn the HoH back into ham

-a suggestion box at Squid Ink Inc. is where the ballots are currently
being gathered. Squid Ink Inc. may move or destroy the suggestion box
if they so wish.
============

Dare I ask who's gonna tally these ballots?

-Rainbow Heron
(sig doesn't wanna do it)

Anyway, that's *our* vote.
==========================================
http://web.infoave.net/~rkanderson/rassm/swc.htm
Rainbow Heron's Sith War Characters Page
http://web.infoave.net/~rkanderson/rassm/sw2002.htm
The Sith War 2002 Archives
==========================================
Who needs kids when you've got Pokémon?!

[C'Pi]

"Rainbow Heron" <rainbo...@ftc-i.net> wrote in message
news:rn9ujusvjrh27g9kr...@4ax.com...

>
>
> SUMMARY:
>
> -Alice and the Pokemon write in a joke candidate: Stinky Cheese Man

STINKY CHEESE MAN!!! STINKY CHEESE MAN!!!

Stinky Cheese Man he's our man, if can't win it no one can.

*does cartwheels*

*breaks leg*

C'Pi