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SITH WAR 2002: In the hands of Crumb
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Michael Ponte (Love Machine)
Jun 24, 2002, 12:40:04 PM6/24/02
to
The Space traveling Ford Mustang flies out of hyperspace and finds itself
near a new planet.
"Hey Walsh! Where are we now?"
"I don't know Herve. This place isn't registering on our computers."
"Perhaps we should attempt a landing. Our long range sensors can find no
trace of Ponte."
"Good idea Piett. We may be safe here."
"Walsh brings the ship down for a landing near a giant cave. Unbenowst to
them, however, a hidden camera records thier entire approach. In a darkly
lit control room, a tiny creature in an equally tiny throne activates a
transmitter.
"Lord Crumb to Lord Ponte. Come in Lord Ponte"
A holographic projection opens of the ISGLE President.
"Greetings Lord Crumb. What is thy bidding"
"A few moments ago, Sean Walsh and his rescuers landed here on NeoGesis."
"Excellent M'Lord. A matter of some..pressing...concern has come to my
attention. I shall leave them to your graces until I can return."
"Of Course my young apprentice. I shall have everything ready upon your
return."
----
Sean Piett and Herve make thier way through the dark and Danky cave system.
Ahead, they see some light. They make their way towards it to discover a
gigantic Production facility.
"Herve, Sean look! They are making Steve McQueen Droids!"
"Walsh, why would anyone be making McQueen droids?"
"Why wouldn't someone! He is the coolest of the cool. The ultimate
aspiration of all men. Whomever is making these bots knows what they are
doing.... wait a minute.
"What is it?"
"I've got a bad feeling about this. One of Ponte's favorite actors is Steve
McQueen..."
"Can Ponte be behind this?"
"I don't know Piett. We must be cautious, and snoopy. Let's move"
---
The Burrito ship and Taco guard have found their way back to the Death Star,
now aptly renamed the "Porn Star". Luckily for Drake, The outer lights are
not lit so Ponte misses the new paint job. Ponte docks and makes his way to
the bridge. There he finds Drake sitting in the Command Chair spilling his
drink all over the chair.
"Hey! Watch the apholstrey."
"Hey Mike! What brings you back here so soon."
"uhh..I forgot something in my quarters. I'll just be a minute.
Thinking nothing of this, Drake returns to his drink.
---
Sean and the Quantum gang have made their way furthur into the Droid
complex. They now find themselves in a space above some sort of conference
chamber. In the main seat sits a figure well known to Sean Walsh.
"That's Salacious Crumb!"
Other people move into the room and sit around the round table. Crumb
Speaks.
"Welcome. As you all know, our actions in this new Sith War have been a
tremendous sucess. Our attack upon the Hall of Ham with the Thermal
Detonator has pushed the Porkinites into battle. The hapless Gonkites are
clueless that we set them up."
Sean looks to Piett and Herve.
"So this is who planted that bomb!"
A tall thin being speaks.
"As you know, we of the Banking Clan will support you, but there is a
question about your apprentice."
"Do not worry about my learner. His actions have been proceeding quite well.
Sean gets a puzzled look across his face.
"Apprentice?"
"So now there are two of them?!"
"No Phantom Menace jokes Herve"
"Sorry."
Another being, this one of the techno union, speaks.
"We have recieved data that your apprentice will be arriving here on
Neogesis very soon.
"Yes, Lord Ponte is due to arrive here within a few hours. Amazingly it has
nothing to do with our business...."
Sean's eyes go wide
"Lord Ponte?!!!"
"So it's true!!! Ponte is making these droids!"
"....Lord Ponte has been in pursuit of 3 rebels to our cause."
Crumb looks up into the crack in the cieling and stares directly at the
Quantum Gang.
"Actually, perhaps we should have some sort of a present ready for Lord
Ponte when he arrives. GUARDS!!! ARREST THEM!!!!!"
The Gang makes a dash for the cave system but is cut off by several Steve
McQueen Droids....
---
Ponte sneaks through the corridors of the Porn Star and makes his way to
Drake's Quarters. He opens the door and steps through. Laying on the bed,
topless, is Britney'Pi, the female C'Pi Clone.
"Hey baby."
"Oh..Hi! you are that guy from the holo-transmission"
"Yeah, I'm the Love Machine."
"Love Machine, eh?"
"Oh yeah. So, can I get you as drink?"
"I really shouldn't be drinking. It goes straight to my head."
"Well, we wouldn't want you to get drunk now would we?"
"No, we wouldn't"
As Britney'Pi takes a swig of Champagne and smiles at Ponte.
"Say Britney, what say we blow this joint."
"Ok"
She moves her head to Ponte' Groin...
"No, no, no. I meant that you and I should leave this ship and go off
together."
"Oh..Sure. But what about Drakie-Poo?"
"Just leave him a 'dear john' letter."
"Ok."
She grabs a piece of paper and writes: THIS IS A DEAR JOHN LETTER-
BRITNEY'Pi
"All set!"
"Great let's go."
---
Sean and the gang are being led by several McQueen Droids. They stop in
front of a large gate.
"All right swine. Get in!"
They are pushed through where they notice inside the dungeon doors, are
various other RASSMERS!!!!!
---
Ponte and Britney'Pi fly their Burrito ship of of Mel's Lazer Hair removal.
The now body-hairless Britney'Pi hugs close to Ponte and snuggles. He sets
the jump to Hyperspace and rockets away for Neogesis to see his nemesis Sean
Walsh...
---
near a new planet.
"Hey Walsh! Where are we now?"
"I don't know Herve. This place isn't registering on our computers."
"Perhaps we should attempt a landing. Our long range sensors can find no
trace of Ponte."
"Good idea Piett. We may be safe here."
"Walsh brings the ship down for a landing near a giant cave. Unbenowst to
them, however, a hidden camera records thier entire approach. In a darkly
lit control room, a tiny creature in an equally tiny throne activates a
transmitter.
"Lord Crumb to Lord Ponte. Come in Lord Ponte"
A holographic projection opens of the ISGLE President.
"Greetings Lord Crumb. What is thy bidding"
"A few moments ago, Sean Walsh and his rescuers landed here on NeoGesis."
"Excellent M'Lord. A matter of some..pressing...concern has come to my
attention. I shall leave them to your graces until I can return."
"Of Course my young apprentice. I shall have everything ready upon your
return."
----
Sean Piett and Herve make thier way through the dark and Danky cave system.
Ahead, they see some light. They make their way towards it to discover a
gigantic Production facility.
"Herve, Sean look! They are making Steve McQueen Droids!"
"Walsh, why would anyone be making McQueen droids?"
"Why wouldn't someone! He is the coolest of the cool. The ultimate
aspiration of all men. Whomever is making these bots knows what they are
doing.... wait a minute.
"What is it?"
"I've got a bad feeling about this. One of Ponte's favorite actors is Steve
McQueen..."
"Can Ponte be behind this?"
"I don't know Piett. We must be cautious, and snoopy. Let's move"
---
The Burrito ship and Taco guard have found their way back to the Death Star,
now aptly renamed the "Porn Star". Luckily for Drake, The outer lights are
not lit so Ponte misses the new paint job. Ponte docks and makes his way to
the bridge. There he finds Drake sitting in the Command Chair spilling his
drink all over the chair.
"Hey! Watch the apholstrey."
"Hey Mike! What brings you back here so soon."
"uhh..I forgot something in my quarters. I'll just be a minute.
Thinking nothing of this, Drake returns to his drink.
---
Sean and the Quantum gang have made their way furthur into the Droid
complex. They now find themselves in a space above some sort of conference
chamber. In the main seat sits a figure well known to Sean Walsh.
"That's Salacious Crumb!"
Other people move into the room and sit around the round table. Crumb
Speaks.
"Welcome. As you all know, our actions in this new Sith War have been a
tremendous sucess. Our attack upon the Hall of Ham with the Thermal
Detonator has pushed the Porkinites into battle. The hapless Gonkites are
clueless that we set them up."
Sean looks to Piett and Herve.
"So this is who planted that bomb!"
A tall thin being speaks.
"As you know, we of the Banking Clan will support you, but there is a
question about your apprentice."
"Do not worry about my learner. His actions have been proceeding quite well.
Sean gets a puzzled look across his face.
"Apprentice?"
"So now there are two of them?!"
"No Phantom Menace jokes Herve"
"Sorry."
Another being, this one of the techno union, speaks.
"We have recieved data that your apprentice will be arriving here on
Neogesis very soon.
"Yes, Lord Ponte is due to arrive here within a few hours. Amazingly it has
nothing to do with our business...."
Sean's eyes go wide
"Lord Ponte?!!!"
"So it's true!!! Ponte is making these droids!"
"....Lord Ponte has been in pursuit of 3 rebels to our cause."
Crumb looks up into the crack in the cieling and stares directly at the
Quantum Gang.
"Actually, perhaps we should have some sort of a present ready for Lord
Ponte when he arrives. GUARDS!!! ARREST THEM!!!!!"
The Gang makes a dash for the cave system but is cut off by several Steve
McQueen Droids....
---
Ponte sneaks through the corridors of the Porn Star and makes his way to
Drake's Quarters. He opens the door and steps through. Laying on the bed,
topless, is Britney'Pi, the female C'Pi Clone.
"Hey baby."
"Oh..Hi! you are that guy from the holo-transmission"
"Yeah, I'm the Love Machine."
"Love Machine, eh?"
"Oh yeah. So, can I get you as drink?"
"I really shouldn't be drinking. It goes straight to my head."
"Well, we wouldn't want you to get drunk now would we?"
"No, we wouldn't"
As Britney'Pi takes a swig of Champagne and smiles at Ponte.
"Say Britney, what say we blow this joint."
"Ok"
She moves her head to Ponte' Groin...
"No, no, no. I meant that you and I should leave this ship and go off
together."
"Oh..Sure. But what about Drakie-Poo?"
"Just leave him a 'dear john' letter."
"Ok."
She grabs a piece of paper and writes: THIS IS A DEAR JOHN LETTER-
BRITNEY'Pi
"All set!"
"Great let's go."
---
Sean and the gang are being led by several McQueen Droids. They stop in
front of a large gate.
"All right swine. Get in!"
They are pushed through where they notice inside the dungeon doors, are
various other RASSMERS!!!!!
---
Ponte and Britney'Pi fly their Burrito ship of of Mel's Lazer Hair removal.
The now body-hairless Britney'Pi hugs close to Ponte and snuggles. He sets
the jump to Hyperspace and rockets away for Neogesis to see his nemesis Sean
Walsh...
---
SUMMARY:
Sean Walsh, Admiral Piett, and Herve Villechaize are on the Planet Neogesis
and have been captured by the Dark lord Salacious Crumb.
Crumb's Dark Apprentice is Michael Ponte The Love Machine.
Love Machine has sneaked Britney'Pi, the C'pi female clone off the Porn Star
and has had all her Male body hair removed.
Crumb has also captured numerous other Rassmers.
--
Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com
President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)
Veteran of Celebration I and II
"Only about 10 percent of movies made every year are any good. Ninety
percent are just plain shit. And today it seems we're standing in the middle
of the shit." - George Lucas
Visit Quantum Piett: http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
And Ponte Central: http://www.geocities.com/pontecentral/
C'Pi
Jun 24, 2002, 11:45:23 PM6/24/02
to
"Michael Ponte (Love Machine)" <super...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:EXHR8.308112$cQ3.16559@sccrnsc01...
I knew everyone was secretly hot for me.
C'Pi
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