[Sith War] resurection (again)
Penguinista
body. Good thing he kept good backups. Twice in rapid succession he, a
player character, had been slain in defiance of the only law that had
even been accepted in a Sith War. Now it appeared even that was subject
to exception.
R5-P1 in its madness had been right, the scurge that is RASSM must be
excised from the universe. Too bad about the innocents, though it now
appeared there were really very few real innocents residing in that sector.
"System, set course RASM sector, zeta base."
Turning to a programming console he accessed the hastily transfered
programming salvaged from the Ada droid and prepared his next step.
-----------------
Arriving at zeta base he surveyed the growing ranks of battle and mount
droids. When he was done Red Six would be counted lucky. But first a
previously unknown instalation on RASSM itself would have to be secured.
=======================
Summary:
- the Hacker is MAD.
- You can't kill off the Hacker.
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
proposal:
There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars with a
character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars remain
behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be funny, but
nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or accepted by anyone
else.
And there is no reset button that can change this.
Can I get a witness?
Steve Tilson
--
"How many more, Harry?" said Dumbledore, eyes puddling with tears. "How
many more have to be buried before your thirst for vengeance is satisfied?"
- www.pointlesswasteoftime.com
Muuurgh
<Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
news:20031023134124.670$0...@newsreader.com...
> Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general, this
> proposal:
>
> There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars with
a
> character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars remain
> behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be funny, but
> nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or accepted by
anyone
> else.
>
> And there is no reset button that can change this.
>
> Can I get a witness?
Amen!
Yep. There is no longer a Hacker.
He has been deleted from the Sith War database, dictionary, encyclopedia,
faq and all memory.
Any hope of his return is hereby dashed.
-Muuurgh
Penguinista
> <Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
> news:20031023134124.670$0...@newsreader.com...
>
>>Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general, this
>>proposal:
>>
>>There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars with
>
> a
>
>>character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars remain
>>behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be funny, but
>>nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or accepted by
>
> anyone
>
>>else.
>>
>>And there is no reset button that can change this.
>>
>>Can I get a witness?
>
>
> Amen!
>
> Yep. There is no longer a Hacker.
> He has been deleted from the Sith War database, dictionary, encyclopedia,
> faq and all memory.
> Any hope of his return is hereby dashed.
>
> -Muuurgh
>
>
>>Steve Tilson
>>
This is low. She who must not be named treated me better.
I feel like I'm trying to play a fair game with democrats.
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
ROFL! Now *that* was funny.
Seriously, Peter, the reason this is happening is because you have no
discernible sense of humor. I am not trying to put you down by saying
this. I am merely making an observation.
It is no use to rail and say "You just don't understand my sense of humor."
If one person says something is funny, while fifteen others say it isn't,
who has the greater chance of being right?
Oh, I know humor is subjective, and your stuff probably makes you laugh out
loud for ten or fifteen solid minutes, but it's not doing it for anybody
else. I do believe I've posted comments on every single thing you've ever
said that struck me as funny, to the effect of "that was funny." (See
above example.)
What's unfunny about it?
Launching planetbusters is not funny.
Launching planetbusters whose brilliant guidance computers decide they'd
rather do something besides explode is funny. Or at least it was the first
time I heard that joke back in 1991. "Some smart bombs are refusing to
drop. They're suggesting alternate uses for themselves, like hood
ornaments, paperweights, and flower planters." - Garrison Keillor, Prarie
Home Companion, sometime in Feb. 1991.
Nanobots are not funny.
Nanobots that form a civilization and hold elections is funny, and there's
at least one very funny SF story out there somewhere about a woman whose
medical nanobots decide the best way to preserve her life is to keep her
away from all possible danger -- whereupon her children, wanting their
mother back, take her bungie-jumping. You should read it, if you haven't.
Do a YASID on rec.arts.sf.written and somebody there can tell you the
title.
Mara Jade licking your ear is not funny, though God knows it could be.
Mara Jade treating you like dirt... well, I'm not going to pass judgment on
my own work, but a couple of people seem to have liked it.
But you know, it isn't even that you're not funny. My first few posts to a
Sith War -- and probably *most* of my posts to Sith Wars -- were nowhere
near funny. Not even in the same zip code as funny. Or the same solar
system. Laugh-out-loud funniness isn't necessarily a prerequisite for a
Sith War post.
What *is* a prerequisite for participation in a Sith War is the willingness
to roll with the punches. To take the disgrace and disasters visited upon
your characters by other Sith Warriors with grace and aplomb, and *run with
them*, and in the fullness of time pay them back with interest.
So when Pol' turns you into Gollum, the answer is not to go to your Star
Trek Standard Plot --
Oh, forget it. This has been explained to you time and again over the last
two years. You don't get it, either because you're congenitally unable to
get it, or stubbornly unwilling to get it. Either way, it doesn't matter.
At the end of the day, you still don't get it. You're out of the Sith
Wars, as far as I'm concerned, unless and until you prove that you're able
to go with the flow and don't have to get your own way all the time.
Complete the following sentence: "no one can stop me from making Sith War
posts, but... "
Steve Tilson
- oh, and what I said about being funny, that it's not required? That's
just me. I doubt many will agree with me on that.
Cryofax
news:20031023170114.708$G...@newsreader.com...
I usually ignore these Sith War posts, but this one is becoming like a good
episode of Melrose Place. Hell I'd even consider participating if I wasn't
RASSM's laziest bastard.
- Cryo
Sara Waterfall
>Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general, this
>proposal:
>
>There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars with a
>character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars remain
>behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be funny, but
>nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or accepted by anyone
>else.
>
>And there is no reset button that can change this.
>
>Can I get a witness?
Would his possible inclusion in the Project would violate this rule?
Sara
--
MiSTie #92866, death-bitch, and all around wonderful person.
"I want to mock people." - The West Wing
cshore.com enjoys getting email for lull.
Muuurgh
"Sara Waterfall" <lu...@cshore.com> wrote in message
news:9jlgpvcv9r2i07m8l...@4ax.com...
> Who's queen, Steve...@rightbehindyou.com?
>
> >Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general, this
> >proposal:
> >
> >There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars with
a
> >character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars remain
> >behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be funny, but
> >nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or accepted by
anyone
> >else.
> >
> >And there is no reset button that can change this.
> >
> >Can I get a witness?
>
> Would his possible inclusion in the Project would violate this rule?
As long as he isn't writing it. Anyone and everyone has rights to the
Hacker. That is, everyone but Peter.
-Muuurgh
Muuurgh
<Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
news:20031023170114.708$G...@newsreader.com...
This is a very, very, small door. We have given Hacker 2 years to learn how
to "roll with the punches" he has successfully ruined every war he's been
apart of. So I don't know how we can even open the door. Perhaps we should
have a RASSM council.
-Muuurgh
Kim Le
<porkinsis...@hotmail.com> wrote:
><Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
>news:20031023134124.670$0...@newsreader.com...
>> Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general, this
>> proposal:
>>
>> There is no Hacker anymore.
>> And there is no reset button that can change this.
>>
>> Can I get a witness?
>
>Amen!
"Farewell and adieu to you fair Twi'Lek ladies! Farewell and adieu,
ladies of Rylooooth!"
Jade was leading the entire crowd in a rousing song as the drinks made
the rounds. No one seemed to notice She'Pi's cries of anguish as blood
splattered all over the walls like a fine Jackson Pollock painting.
Somewhere there was a gollum-like Hacker squirming in agony as the
wretched creature began growing the bright red hair and voluptuous
breasts that only a One Ring with essence of Mara Jade can provide. It
was just another night at the cantina until...
"Sith Warriors! Porkinites! And other various characters that have
been ignored these past few posts for convenience! There is no Hacker
anymore! Can I get an amen?"
"Amen!"
And then Tilson, who'd previously been on the floor after an
unfortunate fainting spell, held up... another Ring of Power. Atop its
metal service was yet another Shiny Red Button Of Doing Cool Things
that read "Sith God Powers - One Use Only... maybe two" Tilson held
out his ring above his head, for all the crowd to see, and with one
push, a ripple ripped through the entirety of the known and unknown
universe.
"There is no Hacker!"
"Noooooo! My precioussssssssssssss......." cried some creature in the
corner, but he faded from the scene, never to be seen again. In fact,
all across the universe, bodies were disappearing. Who they were or
could have been, none could say, for they would haunt no Sith War from
then on.
Sith Squid, on her fifth shot of a Corellian whiskey already, felt a
disturbance in the Force. Or maybe she was just a little woozy.
"Wait!" And while no one in the room had reason to pause what they
were doing to listen to what the squid had to say, they did it anyway,
because someone had switched the score to emit quiet, yet
tension-building music. "I feel a disturbance in the Force," she said.
"It was as if a million insufferable hacks cried out in frustration,
and then were silenced.... forever."
The crowd stood silent for a moment, as if pondering the weight of
Sith Squid's words.
"Aaaaaaaw, HELL YA'!" came a cry from the back and a band started up
with a festive tune for a conga line.
"That's right!" yelled Tilson, jumping up on a table. "Who's the Man?
What do you get when you side with Tilson? That's right, you're siding
with a winner. Who wins? I WIN!"
"Tilson wins! Tilson wins! Tilson wins!" the crowd chanted.
-- Kim Le
summary: Tilson wins.
Dan Miller
> Launching planetbusters whose brilliant guidance computers decide they'd
> rather do something besides explode is funny. Or at least it was the first
> time I heard that joke back in 1991. "Some smart bombs are refusing to
> drop. They're suggesting alternate uses for themselves, like hood
> ornaments, paperweights, and flower planters." - Garrison Keillor, Prarie
> Home Companion, sometime in Feb. 1991.
It's older than that, going back at least to John Carpenter's _Dark
Star_ (1974).
> Nanobots that form a civilization and hold elections is funny
I nominate this the Soup du Jour.
--
Daniel O. Miller
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the
fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true
science. Whosoever does not know it and can no longer marvel, is as good
as dead, and his eyes are dimmed." - Albert Einstein
WWYD?
(hotmail addy is a red herring; I'm at em see aych ess aye)
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> Who's queen, Steve...@rightbehindyou.com?
>
> >Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general,
> >this proposal:
> >
> >There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars
> >with a character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars
> >remain behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be
> >funny, but nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or
> >accepted by anyone else.
> >
> >And there is no reset button that can change this.
> >
> >Can I get a witness?
>
> Would his possible inclusion in the Project would violate this rule?
No. As Muuurgh said, anybody else can write him, but he can't.
This isn't so much a rule as a fact.
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
[snip]
> "That's right!" yelled Tilson, jumping up on a table. "Who's the Man?
> What do you get when you side with Tilson? That's right, you're siding
> with a winner. Who wins? I WIN!"
>
> "Tilson wins! Tilson wins! Tilson wins!" the crowd chanted.
Tilson sat down on the table as the chanting went on. And when Tilson saw
the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to
conquer.
And this world was a pretty pathetic one, when you got right down to it.
Summary:
Winning isn't everything. It's the *only* thing.
Steve Tilson
- thank you, Sith Squid
Simon Lee
spell out:
> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote:
>> Launching planetbusters whose brilliant guidance computers decide
>> they'd rather do something besides explode is funny. Or at least it
>> was the first time I heard that joke back in 1991. "Some smart bombs
>> are refusing to drop. They're suggesting alternate uses for
>> themselves, like hood ornaments, paperweights, and flower planters."
>> - Garrison Keillor, Prarie Home Companion, sometime in Feb. 1991.
>
> It's older than that, going back at least to John Carpenter's _Dark
> Star_ (1974).
"Hey... bomb?"
"Guys, how could it have lived if it was only filled with gas?"
>> Nanobots that form a civilization and hold elections is funny
>
> I nominate this the Soup du Jour.
Aye.
--
__ A L L D O N E! B Y E B Y E!
(__ * _ _ _ _
__)|| | |(_)| \ "...and then, the squirrels attacked."
Celaeno
>Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general, this
>proposal:
>
>There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars with a
>character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars remain
>behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be funny, but
>nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or accepted by anyone
>else.
>
>And there is no reset button that can change this.
>
>Can I get a witness?
Works better than my old blue milk Matrix, methinks.
Rakelle
--
There was an old man
From Peru, whose limericks
Were really haiku
Muuurgh
<Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
news:20031024084412.424$8...@newsreader.com...
> squ...@moncal.sys (Kim Le) wrote:
>
> [snip]
>
> > "That's right!" yelled Tilson, jumping up on a table. "Who's the Man?
> > What do you get when you side with Tilson? That's right, you're siding
> > with a winner. Who wins? I WIN!"
> >
> > "Tilson wins! Tilson wins! Tilson wins!" the crowd chanted.
>
> Tilson sat down on the table as the chanting went on. And when Tilson saw
> the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to
> conquer.
>
> And this world was a pretty pathetic one, when you got right down to it.
>
> Summary:
>
> Winning isn't everything. It's the *only* thing.
So, a... what now now?
*chirp*
-Muuurgh
Muuurgh
"Kim Le" <squ...@moncal.sys> wrote in message
news:3f987840....@news.dallas.sbcglobal.net...
It's nice not having Hacker around anymore. Now, onto stage two.
-Muuurgh
I want credit for the Sith Bore thinggy.
>
> summary: Tilson wins.
Q
>
> This is a very, very, small door. We have given Hacker 2 years to learn how
> to "roll with the punches" he has successfully ruined every war he's been
> apart of. So I don't know how we can even open the door. Perhaps we should
> have a RASSM council.
>
> -Muuurgh
Must be a pretty wimpy bunch if a single 'hack' can ruin your wars.
As to the charges of boring posts and ignoring continuity, please don't
insult my 10000 IQ. His worst offences are in response to episodes so
bad as to be classified as toxic waste. 'Club Golem', for example,
completely ignores what came before and is almost an effort to make any
sense of, negating any laughs.
Seems your wars are doomed from the start by an inability to keep a plot
going without resorting to the level of toilet humor.
Q
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> Muuurgh wrote:
> >
> > This is a very, very, small door. We have given Hacker 2 years to
> > learn how to "roll with the punches" he has successfully ruined every
> > war he's been apart of. So I don't know how we can even open the door.
> > Perhaps we should have a RASSM council.
> >
> > -Muuurgh
>
> Must be a pretty wimpy bunch if a single 'hack' can ruin your wars.
He hasn't ruined any wars. He's just not done anything useful. The best
thing about him is that he's a good punching bag in *other* people's posts.
And in fact, he is quite useful for that.
> Seems your wars are doomed from the start by an inability to keep a plot
> going without resorting to the level of toilet humor.
Toilet humor is the *whole point* of Sith Wars.
Who asked you, anyway? What are you, his mother?
Steve Tilson
C'Pi
You don't really know what the Sith Wars are about, do you?
Clue number one...it's not war.
--
C'Pi
Smell my finger
Celaeno
>Q <Q...@continum.net> wrote:
>> Seems your wars are doomed from the start by an inability to keep a plot
>> going without resorting to the level of toilet humor.
>
>Toilet humor is the *whole point* of Sith Wars.
>
>Who asked you, anyway? What are you, his mother?
Judging by the headers, I'd say it's him making what in his mind
passes as an attempt to get back in.
Heck, the writing style and general tone (and lame fake email) were
clues enough.
Sara Waterfall
>You will not evade me, Steve...@rightbehindyou.com:
>
>>Q <Q...@continum.net> wrote:
>
>>> Seems your wars are doomed from the start by an inability to keep a plot
>>> going without resorting to the level of toilet humor.
>>
>>Toilet humor is the *whole point* of Sith Wars.
>>
>>Who asked you, anyway? What are you, his mother?
>
>Judging by the headers, I'd say it's him making what in his mind
>passes as an attempt to get back in.
>Heck, the writing style and general tone (and lame fake email) were
>clues enough.
Could be one of his programmer buddies who's intelligent enough to run
a spell check on his writing.
Wait, what am I saying?
Sara
--
MiSTie #92866, death-bitch, and all around wonderful person.
"I sat in my apartment, drinking Scotch, growing more and more morose.
Then Mulder came over and we fucked like rabbits all weekend. I felt a
lot better afterwards." - Skinner, Free Agents
Muuurgh
"C'Pi" <as...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:bnbol3$vi2j9$1...@ID-111793.news.uni-berlin.de...
Clue #2 This is Hacker trying a new persona.
Exactly why this guy didn't get the concept.
-Muuurgh
Kim Le
<porkinsis...@hotmail.com> wrote:
><Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
>news:20031024084412.424$8...@newsreader.com...
>> squ...@moncal.sys (Kim Le) wrote:
>> >
>> > "That's right!" yelled Tilson, jumping up on a table. "Who's the Man?
>> > What do you get when you side with Tilson? That's right, you're siding
>> > with a winner. Who wins? I WIN!"
>> >
>> > "Tilson wins! Tilson wins! Tilson wins!" the crowd chanted.
>> Winning isn't everything. It's the *only* thing.
>
>So, a... what now now?
>
>*chirp*
"You may have the power of the Dark Side, Squid, but there is no Force
that can withstand the basic fact that I, Steve Tilson, win again."
Tilson laid down his hand of sabacc cards and smiled with the triumph
to which he was well accustomed. It was a pure sabacc hand, of course.
"We celebrashe a days of peashe... a days of harmoney! A days we can
all shares togethers joyoushly--"
"Jade, will you knock that shit out!" yelled Muuurgh to the very drunk
Jade singing karaoke with the band. "For Porkins sake, man, I can't
even enjoy this fine cheesesteak now..." he muttered.
Sith Squid sat across from Tilson holding her own hand of cards, a
look of utmost concentration on her face. Suddenly, her expression
brightened.
"Ha!" she exclaimed as she laid down her own deck of cards. "Your
simple lucky streak is no match for the Dark Side! I believe nothing
beats an Idiot's Array..."
The band instantly went quiet. Patrons, who'd been standing around
with drinks in their hands, had dropped their glasses. Muuurgh was
mid-bite into his cheesesteak sandwich, looking at the group of sabacc
players like he expected their card table to explode.
Tilson looked like his entire life force had drained from his very
soul, leaving nothing but an empty shell. "I... I.... I lost," he
managed to whisper. "I lost," he said again.
"EEK!" squealed She'Pi as she fell to the floor in a faint.
"I lost..."
Sith Squid beamed as she collected her credits.
"I lost..."
"EVERYONE, HE'S GONNA BLOW!" screamed someone.
"Run for your lives!" yelled another.
"I lost..."
There was panic in the cantina. Every creature was pushing each other
to get to the exits first.
Sith Squid gave a trademark evil chuckle as she collected the shiny
Ring of Sith War God Power from the pot. True, Tilson had used its one
god-like power already, but you never know...
"I lost..."
"Squid! You FOOL! You know not what you've done!" yelled Muuurgh,
trying to drag Sith Squid to an exit.
"RWAAAAAAAAAAURGH!" came a roar. "TILSON NEVER LOSES! TILSON DOESN'T
LIKE LOSING!"
"Uh-oh, he's referring to himself in the third person. That's never
good," said the Sith Squid as she suddenly heeded Muuurgh's advice to
head for the door.
"TILSON *SMASH!*"
To those passing outside the cantina, all they saw was a flurry of
patrons running out of the bar screaming for their lives. Grown men
were crying in their fear. The building seemed to be shaking apart
from the inside. All across RASSM City, these four words rang loud and
clear:
"TILSON KILL PUNY RASSMERS!"
-- Kim Le
summary: Tilson loses.
C'Pi
Wha...? Dammit!! You mean Hacker pulled one over on me?
Man, this day couldn't suck anymore.
Bill Anderson
Day? It's 11:30 at night. Sorry about Madame Chiang and all. I know
you'll miss her. Quite an amazing woman. She aged from 105 in the
morning paper to 106 in the afternoon. And this was after she'd died!
Bill Anderson
--
I am the Mighty Favog
Muuurgh
"Kim Le" <squ...@moncal.sys> wrote in message
Now THAT is canon!
LMAO
-Muuurgh
C'Pi
And I was wrong about the day not sucking more. Wife just called up and
said some jackass on a motorbike ran a red light and hit our new car.
> Sorry about Madame Chiang and all. I know
> you'll miss her.
I'll miss our afternoon teas the most.
> Quite an amazing woman. She aged from 105 in the
> morning paper to 106 in the afternoon. And this was after she'd died!
I don't think anyone here actually cares.
Lefty Skywalker
> "TILSON KILL PUNY RASSMERS!"
Dan'l and the two Lensmen landed on RASSM Planet in the middle of what
appeared to be a mass exodus from the City. Dan'l tried to wave down a
passing NPC.
"Excuse m-"
"Wha-"
"Is there-"
"What the?-"
Kim Kinnison glanced around to see if anyone was looking, then tripped
the next exodee that went past.
"Oh, terribly sorry, my friend! My fault entirely. Didn't even see
you. Say, what seems to be the trouble?"
"The Tilsonian Steven is on the loose! Run for your liiiives!" The
scraggly RASSMer set course for the hills once more.
"Tilsssonian Sssteven?" asked Worsel.
Dan'l pulled out his Pokedex and punched it up. "Tilsonian Steven.
Rare evolved form of Steve Tilson. Very powerful and uncontrollable;
capture is discouraged. To turn a Tilsonian Steven back into Steve
Tilson, he must win at something. Eats acklays, aiwhas, banthas, colo
claw fishes, dewbacks, dianogas , ducks, eopies, falumpasets, fambaas,
ikopis, kaadus, kouhuns, krayt dragons, massiffs, motts, mynocks,
nexu, nunas, opee sea killers, orrays, peko-pekoes, rancors, reeks,
rontos, sando aqua monsters, sarlaccs, scurriers, shaaks, space slugs,
suubatars, tauntauns, wampa ice creatures, wandrellas, worrts, and
ysalamiri."
"AND SITH WARRIORS," said a gravely voice.
"It didn't sssay anything about sssith warriorsss," said Worsel.
A green hand reached past Worsel and wrote, in childish scrawl on
Dan'l's screen, "...and especially Sith Warriors."
"Oh shit," said Dan'l.
SUMMARY: Ths Tilsonian Steven is on the loose! Run for your liiiives!
Policrat
squ...@moncal.sys wrote on 24/10/03 1:54 am:
:D
Pol'
Policrat
Q...@continum.net wrote on 24/10/03 5:50 pm:
> Muuurgh wrote:
>>
>> This is a very, very, small door. We have given Hacker 2 years to learn how
>> to "roll with the punches" he has successfully ruined every war he's been
>> apart of. So I don't know how we can even open the door. Perhaps we should
>> have a RASSM council.
>>
>> -Muuurgh
>
> Must be a pretty wimpy bunch if a single 'hack' can ruin your wars.
>
> As to the charges of boring posts and ignoring continuity, please don't
> insult my 10000 IQ. His worst offences are in response to episodes so
> bad as to be classified as toxic waste. 'Club Golem', for example,
> completely ignores what came before and is almost an effort to make any
> sense of, negating any laughs.
Hmm. Admittedly, it wasn't my finest hour, but its main purpose was to
redact my excessive number of NPCs back to something managable, in response
to multiple requests. And perhaps I made a mistake of assuming that people
glanced at the non Sith War posts between the participants.
To explain what the heck was going on. Because I suspect some people might
be less puzzled if I do. Don't hate me for it, guys. It's my flaw. Feedback
would be appreciated.
Anyway...
There were some people called the Fellowship of the NRG, a parody of the
Fellowship of the Ring, who'd last been seen moving through the countryside
of Middle Earth in an earlier post.
They arrived in sixteenth-century Prague. Why? Because Tilson had thrown me
in the direction of Borges' poem _El Golem_ a few days earlier, which is a
telling of a legend from sixteenth century Prague: Rabbi Judah Loew and the
Golem come from here. Read the poem, and then ask yourself why it might be
relevant to a post which is at base a meditation on the nature of NPC
characters.
Mara appeared because she *was* technically my NPC in origin. There was
supposed to be a general summary appearance of my NPCs here, but by this
point, I'd realised that the post wasn't working.
My NPCs were then written out in a parody of a yoghurt advert (in
retrospect, I really should have put in a 'Schwartz' joke here) from the TV
over here. But not the Inifinity Kipper, which is technically Phil Kallas'
NPC, simply *couldn't* be removed in terms of plot logic, and most
importantly of all, serves as a sort of firewall against power plays.
Is that a weak excuse? Probably. But it's the sort of excuse the character
of McEwok (who has acquired most of my rl flaws) would come up with. And I
thought the Pol'/Small Kipper/jmf exchange was the best-written, and least
contrived, part of the post, so that's the way it worked...
Then - which was the real point of the post - Mara got turned into the One
Ring, and Hacker got turned into Gollum. I'd had this particular bit planned
for ages - because it struck me that if Hacker kept writing his character
the way he was, that was the sort of place the character might end up,
particularly because of the lonely monster/metal object of his affections
dynamic of his posts. Also, the appearance of Gollum made sense of the fact
that the post started out with the Fellowship of the NRG.
By this point, it was apparent that the post wasn't that funny, and any deep
and meaningful allusion Borges, either stylistic or metaphysical, really
hadn't materialised. But that in itself made me realise that what I had
produced corresponded in some ways to Arturo Perez-Reverte's excellent novel
_The Dumas Club_ (it would spoil the book to say much more - read it,
dammit).
And I closed with a truly appalling Golem/Gollum pun. Which IMHO went some
way to redeeming and tying together the post. And so, with reservations, I
posted it, in the hope that someone else would do something better in
response.
And now Tilson, Kim Le, Muuurgh and Dan'l are making the running they are. I
hope I've made some small contribution to that fact... or maybe I'm just
vain?
So yeah, it was crap. But it did its job.
And if you have a complaint? Try participating. Take the raw materials, and
do something with them. Just like everyone else is doing.
> Seems your wars are doomed from the start by an inability to keep a plot
> going without resorting to the level of toilet humor.
And? *And*?!
> Q
Pol'
Policrat
pe...@nospam.calweb.com wrote on 23/10/03 8:38 pm:
> Muuurgh wrote:
>> <Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
>> news:20031023134124.670$0...@newsreader.com...
>>
>>> Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general, this
>>> proposal:
>>>
>>> There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars with
>>
>> a
>>
>>> character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars remain
>>> behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be funny, but
>>> nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or accepted by
>>
>> anyone
>>
>>> else.
>>>
>>> And there is no reset button that can change this.
>>>
>>> Can I get a witness?
>>
>>
>> Amen!
>>
>> Yep. There is no longer a Hacker.
>> He has been deleted from the Sith War database, dictionary, encyclopedia,
>> faq and all memory.
>> Any hope of his return is hereby dashed.
>>
>> -Muuurgh
>>
>>
>>> Steve Tilson
>>>
>
> This is low. She who must not be named treated me better.
>
> I feel like I'm trying to play a fair game with democrats.
And you're sounding oddly like Wes Hutchings...
Which isn't a bad thing. This post actually made me smile thinly.
Pol'
Policrat
porkinsis...@hotmail.com wrote on 23/10/03 7:34 pm:
>
> <Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
> news:20031023134124.670$0...@newsreader.com...
>> Submitted for the approval of Sith Warriors and RASSMers in general, this
>> proposal:
>>
>> There is no Hacker anymore. There is someone who posts to Sith Wars with
> a
>> character by that name, but he is roundly ignored. His avatars remain
>> behind as the playthings of people who tried to help him be funny, but
>> nothing this person posts to any Sith War is relevant or accepted by
> anyone
>> else.
>>
>> And there is no reset button that can change this.
>>
>> Can I get a witness?
>
> Amen!
>
> Yep. There is no longer a Hacker.
> He has been deleted from the Sith War database, dictionary, encyclopedia,
> faq and all memory.
> Any hope of his return is hereby dashed.
I feel compelled to point out - apart from the fact that we may be the
nearest thing to friend that HackBoy has - that he's evidently *capable* of
at least slightly more than his usual dreck. He's pressed the reset button
so repeatedly that he's either crying out for help and using it as a panic
alarm, or he knows that it pulls our chain.
I'm still not refusing to rule out the possibility that he's a troll...
> -Muuurgh
Pol'
Cryofax
Is there a bright side to the story? Like perhaps the guy on the motorcycle
flew over the hood of your car and landed anus-first on a sharp projectile?
- Cryo
C'Pi
No. I wish. The bastard ran away. I can always hope he hit another car
while running away and smeared himself all over the road.
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
You think you've done a decent job. You think you've written a couple of
passable Sith War posts. You start to feel your oats.
Then Kim Le and Dan'l Miller come along and school your silly a$$.
Brilliant.
Canon.
And I can't write a reply because I'm laughing too hard.
Steve Tilson
Muuurgh
<Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
news:20031027081556.680$Z...@newsreader.com...
> Lefty Skywalker <dmil...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> > Kim Le wrote:
> > > "TILSON KILL PUNY RASSMERS!"
> > SUMMARY: Ths Tilsonian Steven is on the loose! Run for your liiiives!
>
> You think you've done a decent job. You think you've written a couple of
> passable Sith War posts. You start to feel your oats.
>
> Then Kim Le and Dan'l Miller come along and school your silly a$$.
>
> Brilliant.
>
> Canon.
>
> And I can't write a reply because I'm laughing too hard.
>
> Steve Tilson
I've never seen a "winner" give up so easily. I thought this was meant as a
challenge by SquidyPoo.
-Muuurgh
Tilson, can still win.
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> <Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
> news:20031027081556.680$Z...@newsreader.com...
> > Lefty Skywalker <dmil...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> > > Kim Le wrote:
> > > > "TILSON KILL PUNY RASSMERS!"
> > > SUMMARY: Ths Tilsonian Steven is on the loose! Run for your
> > > liiiives!
> >
> > You think you've done a decent job. You think you've written a couple
> > of passable Sith War posts. You start to feel your oats.
> >
> > Then Kim Le and Dan'l Miller come along and school your silly a$$.
> >
> > Brilliant.
> >
> > Canon.
> >
> > And I can't write a reply because I'm laughing too hard.
> >
> > Steve Tilson
>
> I've never seen a "winner" give up so easily. I thought this was meant
> as a challenge by SquidyPoo.
I haven't given up. I just haven't had time, energy, or inclination to
respond yet. And my school's going through a SACS review this week, so the
stress is definitely on. Maybe over the weekend... if I'm not too busy
watching "Alien" in the theater.
> -Muuurgh
> Tilson, can still win.
I'm just wondering if it's still worth it.
Steve Tilson
Muuurgh
<Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
news:20031027094050.666$b...@newsreader.com...
It's not.
-Muuurgh
I win.
Penguinista
> Kim Le wrote:
>
>> "TILSON KILL PUNY RASSMERS!"
>
>
another attack on RASSM. Not that battle droids with jet pack was
really that origional, but ate least he hadn't done it before. The
master computer stiggered on the news feed. So Tilson did have a
weakness, loosing. Even something inconsequential like a card game, and
statistically enevitable for a repeat player. He had never doubted that
a weakness existed, but this was completely inconceivable. And mind
boggling. All he needed was to arrange a continued sequence of
occasional losses and his greatest foe would become his most powerfull
weapon of destruction.
Shutting down battle droid production, he reprogrammed his factories for
playing cards, dice, poker chips, and dealer droids. And don't forget
the temptress waitress droids. He'd turn RASSM into the biggest casino
in the galaxy.
(not a whole lot of humor here yet, just a setup)
Policrat
pe...@nospam.calweb.com wrote on 27/10/03 7:45 pm:
> Lefty Skywalker wrote:
>> Kim Le wrote:
>>
>>> "TILSON KILL PUNY RASSMERS!"
>>
>> SUMMARY: Ths Tilsonian Steven is on the loose! Run for your liiiives!
>>
> The Jedi Hacker, short as usual on clever ideas, was about to launch
> another attack on RASSM.
This is a self-parody, right?
> Not that battle droids with jet pack was really that origional, but ate least
> he hadn't done it before.
*Please* tell me it's a parody!?
> The master computer stiggered on the news feed.
Whuh?
> So Tilson did have a weakness, loosing. Even something inconsequential like a
> card game, and statistically enevitable for a repeat player. He had never
> doubted that a weakness existed, but this was completely inconceivable. And
> mind boggling.
And mind boggling.
> All he needed was to arrange a continued sequence of occasional losses and his
> greatest foe would become his most powerfull weapon of destruction.
Don't you go bringing Alice back into it!
> Shutting down battle droid production, he reprogrammed his factories for
> playing cards, dice, poker chips, and dealer droids. And don't forget
> the temptress waitress droids. He'd turn RASSM into the biggest casino
> in the galaxy.
>
> (not a whole lot of humor here yet, just a setup)
I preferred the battledroids with jetpacks.
Pol'
Penguinista
> in article 3f9d712e$0$48379$d36...@news.newshosting.com, Penguinista at
> pe...@nospam.calweb.com wrote on 27/10/03 7:45 pm:
>
>
>>Lefty Skywalker wrote:
>>
>>>Kim Le wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>"TILSON KILL PUNY RASSMERS!"
>>>
>>>SUMMARY: Ths Tilsonian Steven is on the loose! Run for your liiiives!
>>>
>>
>>The Jedi Hacker, short as usual on clever ideas, was about to launch
>>another attack on RASSM.
>
>
> This is a self-parody, right?
>
>
>>Not that battle droids with jet pack was really that origional, but ate least
>>he hadn't done it before.
>
>
> *Please* tell me it's a parody!?
>
>
>>The master computer stiggered on the news feed.
>
>
> Whuh?
A type. should be 'triggered'.
>
>
>>So Tilson did have a weakness, loosing. Even something inconsequential like a
>>card game, and statistically enevitable for a repeat player. He had never
>>doubted that a weakness existed, but this was completely inconceivable. And
>>mind boggling.
>
>
> And mind boggling.
>
>
>>All he needed was to arrange a continued sequence of occasional losses and his
>>greatest foe would become his most powerfull weapon of destruction.
>
>
> Don't you go bringing Alice back into it!
Wasn't planning to...
>
>
>>Shutting down battle droid production, he reprogrammed his factories for
>>playing cards, dice, poker chips, and dealer droids. And don't forget
>>the temptress waitress droids. He'd turn RASSM into the biggest casino
>>in the galaxy.
>>
>>(not a whole lot of humor here yet, just a setup)
>
>
> I preferred the battledroids with jetpacks.
>
> Pol'
>
Until Tilsons hulking out I was planning a parody on his request for
'toilet humor'. Maybe when the casino thread falls apart.
Sara Waterfall
>in article 3f9d712e$0$48379$d36...@news.newshosting.com, Penguinista at
>pe...@nospam.calweb.com wrote on 27/10/03 7:45 pm:
[snip]
>> (not a whole lot of humor here yet, just a setup)
>
>I preferred the battledroids with jetpacks.
Hey, Pol: doesn't matter anyway.
Sara
--
MiSTie #92866, death-bitch, and all around wonderful person.
"I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been
eaten." - Mojo Jojo
Policrat
pe...@nospam.calweb.com wrote on 27/10/03 9:03 pm:
> Policrat wrote:
>> in article 3f9d712e$0$48379$d36...@news.newshosting.com, Penguinista at
>> pe...@nospam.calweb.com wrote on 27/10/03 7:45 pm:
>>
>>
>>> Lefty Skywalker wrote:
>>>
>>>> Kim Le wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> "TILSON KILL PUNY RASSMERS!"
>>>>
>>>> SUMMARY: Ths Tilsonian Steven is on the loose! Run for your liiiives!
>>>>
>>>
>>> The Jedi Hacker, short as usual on clever ideas, was about to launch
>>> another attack on RASSM.
>>
>>
>> This is a self-parody, right?
>>
>>
>>> Not that battle droids with jet pack was really that origional, but ate
>>> least
>>> he hadn't done it before.
>>
>>
>> *Please* tell me it's a parody!?
>>
>>
>>> The master computer stiggered on the news feed.
>>
>>
>> Whuh?
>
> A type. should be 'triggered'.
'typo'?
>>> So Tilson did have a weakness, loosing. Even something inconsequential like
>>> a
>>> card game, and statistically enevitable for a repeat player. He had never
>>> doubted that a weakness existed, but this was completely inconceivable. And
>>> mind boggling.
>>
>>
>> And mind boggling.
>>
>>
>>> All he needed was to arrange a continued sequence of occasional losses and
>>> his greatest foe would become his most powerfull weapon of destruction.
>>
>> Don't you go bringing Alice back into it!
>
> Wasn't planning to...
You know what I meant...
>>> Shutting down battle droid production, he reprogrammed his factories for
>>> playing cards, dice, poker chips, and dealer droids. And don't forget
>>> the temptress waitress droids. He'd turn RASSM into the biggest casino
>>> in the galaxy.
>>>
>>> (not a whole lot of humor here yet, just a setup)
>>
>> I preferred the battledroids with jetpacks.
>>
>> Pol'
>>
> Until Tilsons hulking out I was planning a parody on his request for
> 'toilet humor'. Maybe when the casino thread falls apart.
You can write parody?
Pol'
Policrat
lu...@cshore.com wrote on 27/10/03 10:53 pm:
> Who's queen, Policrat?
>
>> in article 3f9d712e$0$48379$d36...@news.newshosting.com, Penguinista at
>> pe...@nospam.calweb.com wrote on 27/10/03 7:45 pm:
>
> [snip]
>
>>> (not a whole lot of humor here yet, just a setup)
>>
>> I preferred the battledroids with jetpacks.
>
> Hey, Pol: doesn't matter anyway.
I know.
I still preferred the idea... simply an abstract comment...
> Sara
Pol'