[SITH WAR] Waiting for the storm
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
normal.
On the bridge, Lt. Commander Winnifred watched over the bridge crew. The
dealer was dealing cards while his partner shuffled the second deck.
In his private gymnasium, Lt. Punther was bouncing from trampoline to
another in an endless pattern, emitting a loud "Hoo! Woo-HOO!" every time
he bounced.
In their shared quarters, Lt. Coney was watering plants while Lt. Ayor
wrote poetry in his journal, Ayor occasionally asking Coney for variations
on "flowery," "smiling," "sunny," and "corpse."
In his quarters, Lt. Porcinet was trying to play Doom on his computer. He
wasn't having much success, as every appearance of a hell-demon on the
screen sent him screaming "Oh dear! Oh dear!" to hide under his bunk.
And in Tilson's Dark Jedi Dojo, Tilson was saber-sparring with his
apprentice, Daff Maul. Daff Maul, fireplug short though he was, wielded a
double-bladed lightsaber, spinning it through its paces. "Ho! Ha! Hee!
A-HA!"
Maul sprang toward Tilson. Tilson Force-pushed Maul to a stop, then cut
him in half with his single-bladed lightsaber.
"Touche," Tilson remarked. "I win again."
Maul glowered, reattaching his legs to his torso. "Care to make it best
2,501 out of 5,000?"
Summary:
Not much is happening.
Steve Tilson
--
The cybernetic army that took over the Earth, says the film, was solar
powered. The human resistance responded by _blotting out the sky_. A
desperate measure, but surely the only choice they had. It was that, or, I
don't know, _postpone their counterattack until evening_.
- 50 Reasons to Reject The Matrix: Reloaded (reason 35)
Policrat'
of a bizarre _Matrix_ parody.
With nerf instead of Agent Smiths.
Abruptly, there was a rumbling from the centre of the pile of scrambling,
clambering animals, and several of them blasted into the air at explosive
angles, as a fuzzy blue ghost in a tasteful blue cape shot out from
underneath the ruck, rising high above the surface, and punched dramatically
through the cloud-cover - only to paused to strike a heroic pose at the edge
of Hoth's icy atmosphere.
"Someone," she said, growling, and surveying the sea of icy stars set
against the black depths of the sky. "is going to pay for this. But in the
mean-time, I might just take out some anger on the nearest Sith Warrior. Let
me see..."
For a moment, the blue-cloaked Jedi ghost fell silent, as her vast mind
reached out through the stars of RASS* Space in search of a target for her
wrath.
Then she found what she was looking for, and a slow smile crept across her
lips.
"Tilson."
***
Summary: the SWG is mad. Tilson is in her line of fire.
Penguinista
close really, as the slightest furthur delay would have crashed the
craft on the planet below. Most set course at full throttle towards the
porkinite planet and faned out. Nearly headless of the interceptors and
ion cannon blasts rising from the surface, they pressed on their course.
One, barely noticed, ignored the planet and headed towards the nearby
star. On board was a special warhead.
Summary:
Red Six is under attack.
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
Aboard the Super Duper Star Destroy *Surly Punk 2*, alarm klaxons began to
wail.
Winnifred's frantic voice came over the intercom in Tilson's quarters.
"Sir! Sir! Red Six is under attack!"
"DEAR LORD!" Tilson shouted, suddenly bolt-upright in bed. "Alert the TIE
crews! Stand by hyperdrive engines! All hands to battle stations! This
is major! This is in an emergency! This is -- wait a minute: what the
hell's a Red Six?"
Summary:
The shortest Sith War post I've ever made.
Lefty Skywalker
> One, barely noticed, ignored the planet and headed towards the nearby
> star. On board was a special warhead.
Dan'l woke to the deedle-deedle-deedle of a long-set alarm. He climbed
out of bed and headed for the bridge of the Maltesium Falcon. The inky
blackness was lit only by a single red LED, blinking from the threat
warning panel.
The Falcon was hidden in the metallic rings of Red Three, and had been
there for some time. Dan'l had been taking it easy for what seemed like
a year, playing video games and designing outlandish starships that only
worked with different laws of physics. Now someone was making hostile
moves on Red Six. Not that he cared, but it relieved the boredom. He
watched as some of the bogeys went balls-out towards the surface of the
Porkinite stronghold. One, however, was headed in the Maltesium
Falcon's direction. The radar couldn't get much of a lock in passive
scan at this distance, much less tell what it was.
The Maltesium Falcon had started life as a Naboo Royal Cruiser, but she
had seen her share of owners. Many of them had been much more realistic
about the dangers of the universe than the Nabobs had ever been. As a
result, she had received many "special modifications" of the sort
favored by smugglers and bounty hunters. Her present owner had made
only a few mods of his own. One was to paint her with andtiradiation
paint in a silky black color, and rename her with an atrocious pun.
Another was to replace the N-1 drones with A-Wings in similar regalia.
Dan'l dispatched one of these to follow the bogey in-system.
--
Daniel O. Miller
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the
fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true
science. Whosoever does not know it and can no longer marvel, is as good
as dead, and his eyes are dimmed." - Albert Einstein
WWYD?
(hotmail addy is a red herring; I'm at em see aych ess aye)
Sara Waterfall
>Summary:
>
>Not much is happening.
Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location that is not Red Six, Sal sat
planning her ultimate takeover of the galaxy as Trory attempted to
play a damaged rental copy of ESPN NHL for the PS2.
Much controller smashing ensued.
Sal
-do you know why I posted this? I don't.
--
MiSTie #92866, death-bitch, and all around wonderful person.
"I'm a professional cynic, but my heart's not in it." - Blur
cshore.com enjoys getting email for lull.
Celaeno
<policr...@GUMBYSHELMEThotmail.com>:
>The vast expanse of the Hawkins Plain looked as though it had been the scene
>of a bizarre _Matrix_ parody.
>
>With nerf instead of Agent Smiths.
>Summary: the SWG is mad. Tilson is in her line of fire.
Nope.
In fact, if one looked closely at the nerfs, one would see the souls
of Policraticus and all his associates, trapped in the mute beasts,
but still not escaping their hallucinations.
(If there are so few actual characters to write about that you can't
find anything to say, you might want to take the point and not write a
story. Goddess = omniscient, omnipresent, omnipowerful, etc, and NOT a
good character to use in stories. Did it never occur to you that
that's intentional?)
Sith War Goddess
5 years and they still don't get that I wrote my character out
Jill Marie
Celaeno wrote:
> (If there are so few actual characters to write about
> that you can't find anything to say, you might want to
> take the point and not write a story. Goddess =
> omniscient, omnipresent, omnipowerful, etc, and
> NOT a good character to use in stories. Did it never
> occur to you that that's intentional?)
Goddesses are just so boring......omniscient, omnipresent,
omnipowerful? Blah, too boring. A good Sith War character has lots
of flaws.
> Sith War Goddess
> 5 years and they still don't get that I wrote my character out
'Cus you're just so dang charismatic and bewitching......they can't
help themselves.
~~jill marie
Policrat'
cel...@choklit.nospam.org wrote on 4/10/03 6:22 pm:
Did it ever occur to you that it occurred to me?
> Sith War Goddess
> 5 years and they still don't get that I wrote my character out
Except when it suits you...
Pol'
Celaeno
>
>Celaeno wrote:
>
>> (If there are so few actual characters to write about
>> that you can't find anything to say, you might want to
>> take the point and not write a story. Goddess =
>> omniscient, omnipresent, omnipowerful, etc, and
>> NOT a good character to use in stories. Did it never
>> occur to you that that's intentional?)
>
>Goddesses are just so boring......omniscient, omnipresent,
>omnipowerful? Blah, too boring. A good Sith War character has lots
>of flaws.
Ah, so close to enlightenment.
>> Sith War Goddess
>> 5 years and they still don't get that I wrote my character out
>
>'Cus you're just so dang charismatic and bewitching......they can't
>help themselves.
I'm not. And I don't see why Pol' has to try to turn me into some kind
of character that he could interact with in a war every single time
they try to flare up again. He's tried turning me human, turning me
into a ghost (I never was and never shall be a tacky blue ghost),
attacking non SWG versions of me in tangential threads...
Alice had it easy.
Rakelle
--
There was an old man
From Peru, whose limericks
Were really haiku
Celaeno
<policr...@GUMBYSHELMEThotmail.com>:
>in article 580unv4mvdpsbmjod...@4ax.com, Celaeno at
>cel...@choklit.nospam.org wrote on 4/10/03 6:22 pm:
>
>> Did it never occur to you that
>> that's intentional?)
>
>Did it ever occur to you that it occurred to me?
I preferred thinking of you as ignorant rather than as a jackass.
>> Sith War Goddess
>> 5 years and they still don't get that I wrote my character out
>
>Except when it suits you...
A lapse of insanity that I soon regretted. Why don't you find an
existing SW persona to push around instead of continually trying to
alter my nonpersona? Heck, make yourself another character to write
about, one more shouldn't even be noticeable in your horde of ships
and characters and sidekicks and whatnots and wars run pretty much
entirely between you alone.
You were right about one thing, though, and that was the SWG being
angry.
Policrat'
cel...@choklit.nospam.org wrote on 4/10/03 10:04 pm:
When did I ever attack a non SWG version of you? Well, a non Sith War
version, anyway?
Appologies for any offence caused. It won't happen again. Next time you try
to have your cake and eat it, I'll let someone like Penguinista try to make
the relevant point...
[Which maybe sounds awfully harsh. There's nothing wrong with knowing
hypocrisy, and if it wasn't going to be widely misinterpreted, I'd add at
this point that I really quite liked you as much as that sort of thing's
possible on RASSM][1]
> Rakelle
[1] And no, I don't mean in the Karno-and-Buttercup sense.
Pol'
Policrat'
cel...@choklit.nospam.org wrote on 4/10/03 10:09 pm:
> You will not evade me, Policrat'
> <policr...@GUMBYSHELMEThotmail.com>:
>
>> in article 580unv4mvdpsbmjod...@4ax.com, Celaeno at
>> cel...@choklit.nospam.org wrote on 4/10/03 6:22 pm:
>>
>
>>> Did it never occur to you that
>>> that's intentional?)
>>
>> Did it ever occur to you that it occurred to me?
>
> I preferred thinking of you as ignorant rather than as a jackass.
There's a difference?
>>> Sith War Goddess
>>> 5 years and they still don't get that I wrote my character out
>>
>> Except when it suits you...
>
> A lapse of insanity that I soon regretted. Why don't you find an
> existing SW persona to push around instead of continually trying to
> alter my nonpersona? Heck, make yourself another character to write
> about, one more shouldn't even be noticeable in your horde of ships
> and characters and sidekicks and whatnots and wars run pretty much
> entirely between you alone.
Wars? What wars? Okay, I admit VvVI was crap, but that wasn't _entirely_ my
fault.
More to the point, it's a homage to Samuel Beckett. And the other
syndicated prime-time sci-fi TV series starring Scott Bakula as well.
Sometimes it works for some people. Other times it works for no-one at all.
And if you can't see why I've occasionally treated the SWG as fair game (it
does all actually make sense, I think), then I'd feel like a prat having to
explain it.
But if I've caused you any genuine offence, then I'm sorry.
You don't actually have to read it if you don't want to, y'know.
> You were right about one thing, though, and that was the SWG being
> angry.
Well now we seem to be having a flame-war. I'm sorry. And doubly so because
I'm having more than the usual difficulty in taking it seriously. _And_ it's
keeping me out of the pub...
> Rakelle
Okay, so maybe I'm a jackass sometimes. Sorry.
Fly casual,
Pol'
Celaeno
<policr...@GUMBYSHELMEThotmail.com>:
>When did I ever attack a non SWG version of you? Well, a non Sith War
>version, anyway?
Versions that you cook up all by yourself.
>Appologies for any offence caused. It won't happen again. Next time you try
>to have your cake and eat it, I'll let someone like Penguinista try to make
>the relevant point...
What cake? Is this because I posted a smartass reply to that sith war
poll thing? Exactly what point are you trying to make of me not
wanting to be in the moronic sith wars and you perpetually trying to
write me back in, as something other than what I am to boot?
Celaeno
<policr...@GUMBYSHELMEThotmail.com>:
>And if you can't see why I've occasionally treated the SWG as fair game (it
>does all actually make sense, I think), then I'd feel like a prat having to
>explain it.
Go ahead, add prat to the list.
>But if I've caused you any genuine offence, then I'm sorry.
>
>You don't actually have to read it if you don't want to, y'know.
99% of Sith War posts the past year+ have been glanced at and received
a yawn before I moved to next message. And then there's the ones where
you can't be bothered respecting my wishes, which piss me off.
Policrat'
cel...@choklit.nospam.org wrote on 5/10/03 4:47 pm:
> You will not evade me, Policrat'
> <policr...@GUMBYSHELMEThotmail.com>:
>
>> When did I ever attack a non SWG version of you? Well, a non Sith War
>> version, anyway?
>
> Versions that you cook up all by yourself.
Everyone else on RASSM seems to accept that anyone making a sideways comment
on the Sith Wars is in danger of getting dragged into them. But I'm sorry if
that's the way you see it, and in retrospect, it wasn't exactly my finest
hour.
Sorry.
>> Appologies for any offence caused. It won't happen again. Next time you try
>> to have your cake and eat it, I'll let someone like Penguinista try to make
>> the relevant point...
>
> What cake? Is this because I posted a smartass reply to that sith war
> poll thing? Exactly what point are you trying to make of me not
> wanting to be in the moronic sith wars and you perpetually trying to
> write me back in, as something other than what I am to boot?
You make a smartass reply, someone will try to make a smartass reply in
turn. Maybe not terribly effectively (heck, it's a Sith War after all) and I
hadn't realised that you were still so serious about insisting on only
participating on your own terms... so I made a mistake.
Therefore, again, sorry.
> Rakelle
I'm not doing myself any favours here, with you or anyone else, so let me
repeat that.
Sorry.
STAR WARS
Pol'
Policrat'
cel...@choklit.nospam.org wrote on 5/10/03 4:50 pm:
> You will not evade me, Policrat'
> <policr...@GUMBYSHELMEThotmail.com>:
>
>> And if you can't see why I've occasionally treated the SWG as fair game (it
>> does all actually make sense, I think), then I'd feel like a prat having to
>> explain it.
>
> Go ahead, add prat to the list.
>
>> But if I've caused you any genuine offence, then I'm sorry.
>>
>> You don't actually have to read it if you don't want to, y'know.
>
> 99% of Sith War posts the past year+ have been glanced at and received
> a yawn before I moved to next message. And then there's the ones where
> you can't be bothered respecting my wishes, which piss me off.
>
> Rakelle
Listen. I'm not terribly good at grovelling with good grace, but inasmuch as
I can be, I'm sorry for what I did. It was bloody stupid, insensitive, and
generally dumb. Even as Sith War posts go, it was pathetic.
End of story.
Pol'
Policrat'
policr...@GUMBYSHELMEThotmail.com wrote on 5/10/03 5:02 pm:
This post is very crass. I'm very sober today, and I have the flu.
Though that's no real excuse.
Sorry, Rakelle. Won't happen again.
Pol'
Lefty Skywalker
Lefty Skywalker wrote:
> Penguinista wrote:
>
>> One, barely noticed, ignored the planet and headed towards the nearby
>> star. On board was a special warhead.
>
> Dan'l dispatched one of these to follow the bogey in-system.
The stealthed A-Wing pulled to within a few thousand klicks of the
mystery spacecraft before being noticed. In that time, using passive
sensors, it had been able to confirm that the craft was an unknown type,
but the design had the look of the Jedi Hacker's work.
The bogey painted the A-Wing with its scanning radar, and a moment
later, its target radar. Oh well, what the hell, thought the droid
brain, and turned on its own millimeter-wave radar. The results were
unexpected.
The first thing it saw was that one of the bogey's three missiles had no
conventional warhead, but instead a very strong containment field and a
tiny, tiny quantity of something with a mass improbable for its size.
The second thing it saw was that another of the bogey's missiles, a more
normal one, was launching.
The A-Wing juked and maneuvered, but it was ultimately futile. The
missile blew it out of space. However, the little fighter had managed
to send a burst of data back to the Maltesium Falcon.
-------------------
Dan'l watched the battle unfold, and had a look at the data as soon as
he was certain his fighter was going to be lost. That special warhead
had a neutronium core. The bogey (and the battle, for that matter) had
zipped past his hiding place at a noticeable fraction of light speed, so
he wasn't worried about it coming after him, but it was definitely time
to get the hell out of this vicinity. But first, he placed a call.
"This is Dan'l to Porkinite High Command, come in please..."
A tenuous voice replied, "This is, uh, Gumby."
"Oh, perfect. Is Jade there? Or maybe Muuurgh?"
"Muuurgh said something about being Emperor and left for RASSM Planet.
We almost never see Jade any more. Oh, why has the Archon deserted us?"
Gumby started to cry, cuddling what looked like a pair of underwear
against its face.
"Is C'Pi there maybe? Anyone at all with half an ounce of sense?"
"I dunno..."
"Great Maker. Could I speak to a lackey, maybe?"
A lackey bounded into the frame, eager to be of service. "What can I do
for you, Sir?"
"Hack-Boy has a fighter with a sunbuster warhead headed for Red Zero. I
don't think you have anything that can catch him, and I wasted too much
time reconnoitering to do anything about it even if I'd wanted to. I'm
headed back to RASSM City. See if you can raise up some shipping and
evacuate that place, there's a good boy."
Dan'l signed off and hyped out of the Red system, wondering if the
Porkinites would be able to evacuate, or all collapse with chest pains
while running to the shuttles...
Summary: "It's only fair to warn you..."
Lefty Skywalker
Peter, it's been a week. Are you ever going to follow this up?