[Sith War 2002]: Invasion
Darth Par-Kay
MBB is destroying everything by doing the Macarena all over the RASS
system
because of a virus unleashed by Robo C'Pi
*****************************
Steve picked up his duck shaped Drake doll: "Don't be hatin mesa
because mya so beautiful, Ponte." Steve picks up his Ponte doll: "How
can mesa be hatin yousa? Yousa are mesa's truest love. Be givin me
some sugar baby!" Steve makes the dolls kiss passionately.
The door opens and SD-KcK walks in. "Sir..." Steve whirls around in a
rage and started to force choke SD-KcK. "How many times has mesa been
telling yousa to NEVER be interruptin mesa's meditatin!?!" Steve
screamed as he choked the droid harder and lifted him off the ground.
"Sir! The assassination attempt on Drake failed!" the terrified droid
wheezed. Steve immediately dropped the droid and contemplated this new
information. "Dis is bombad. Why were yousa not tellin me this until
now?" "Well, sir, you've been meditating for quite a long time..."
Steve thought a moment and replied, "Oh. Ok, itsa time to be bringin
mesa plan to fruition." Steve glared at the droid, daring him to make
fun of his vocabulary and continued, "Be orderin da fleet to da far
side of the planet RASSM. Der my will be meetin dem to be commencin da
attack on da city."
As they approached the Planet RASSM a terrible sound filled the
iShip..."Egad! What are dey doin down der!?!" Steve clapped his hands
over his ears and made his way to the bridge. "Sir, it appears they're
using audio warfare!" yelled SD-KcK. "Get mesa some ear muffs!" The
droid brought him a pair of fluffy pink ear muffs which Steve quickly
donned. "Ah, mesa feel much better. Be sendin our G-wing starfighters
to attack da porn star and be finishin what dat two bit bounty hunter
left undone. My will be takin da troops down to da surface of da
planet and be makin me da supreme bombad ruler of RASSM."
*****************************
The G-wings approached the disheveled Porn Star and commenced thier
attack. Exploiting a security hole in the Porn Star's MS shielding,
they entered the core of the 'Star and found that it had toilet drive.
Suprised at their luck, they launched a few cherry bombs into the
bowl, and got out of there as fast as their G6's could take em.
The Porn Star was rocked with explosions as the cherry bombs did their
work, breaking into three large pieces. Two of the pieces hurled off
into space, while the third entered the atmosphere of the planet
headed for a crash landing somewhere on the surface. As luck would
have it, the piece landed right on the MBB, destroying it and
silencing that infernal song for all time. A sound like billions of
sighs of relief could be heard for a few seconds.
Meanwhile, Steve landed with his invasion force and made his way to
the Sith War archives in the center of RASSM City. Finding it
unguarded, he changed archives to make gungans as the heros and
encoded the archives with a code he wrote down and put in a locket
around his neck. Well, all except Sith War IV...
"Hey! Da archive for da Sith War IV is missin! Librarian! Where be dis
Sith War IV!" The librarian, an older matronly lady, approached the
perturbed Gungan sith lord with a helpful look on her face. "May I
help you, sir?" "Yes, my lookin for da Sith War IV archive. Itsa
should be bein right dere" Steve pointed to a blank area on the
screen. The librarian pressed a few buttons on the console and looked
a bit puzzled. "I'm sorry sir, I hate to admit this, but I can't seem
to find the Sith War you are referring to." Steve looked at her and
being a Gungan sith lord, got angry as perturbed gungan sith lords are
supposed to, "What!? Itsa has to be bein dere! Don't yousa be knowin
whosa my am!? My can be crunchin yousa in a second!" The librarian
looked a bit exasperated and replied, "Sir, if a Sith War isn't in our
archives, then it doesn't exist!" Frustrated, Steve contemplated
choking the librarian, but he had more important things to do. He
wrote down the coordinates for the missing Sith War and left the
archives.
Before leaving he gave orders to his senior iWok generals to complete
capture of the planet and to start erecting statues of famous gungans
over the city and to alter any current statues to make them look more
like gungans. After boarding his iShip, Steve had it hover over the
City to make his first speech as supreme bombad ruler of RASSM.
"Peoples of RASSM City! My am Steve, yousa's new supreme ruler. Yousa
will be handin over any Sith Warriors for gungificatin! Desa will not
be gettin aways from mesa. Any person hidin dem will be mooie mooie
punished!"
Steve turned off the loudspeaker. "SD-Kck, yousa will be stayin here
to be makin sure Jade, da Haacker, Gumby, Muuurgh, and anyone else is
bein captured. When yousa find dem, bring dem to mesa. Send da iWoks
everywheres, be leavin no stone unturned!" "Yes sir."
The iShip sped off into space, headed for Sith War IV.
********************************
SUMMARY:
The Porn Star is destroyed.
A cherry bomb broke the Porn Star into three parts. Presumably, Drake
is on one of the pieces.
The MBB has been destroyed ending the macarena's reign of terror.
The iWoks invade RASSM City and Steve takes over. They're searching
the city for Jade and co.
The Sith War Archives have been changed.
Rich Handley is Jar Jar.
--
Steve
- Leader of the Gungan Seperatists
- Sith Lord Cousin of Jar Jar
- Veteran of Sith War III and IV
"Woar grrrrr hiss cough growl"
Spawn of Porkins
"Darth Par-Kay" <gray...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:d2613985.02063...@posting.google.com...
> SUMMARY:
> The Porn Star is destroyed.
> A cherry bomb broke the Porn Star into three parts. Presumably, Drake
> is on one of the pieces.
> The MBB has been destroyed ending the macarena's reign of terror.
> The iWoks invade RASSM City and Steve takes over. They're searching
> the city for Jade and co.
> The Sith War Archives have been changed.
> Rich Handley is Jar Jar.
>
Well, that's just no fun.
Jade
--
Glory hog!
Celaeno
>Before leaving he gave orders to his senior iWok generals to complete
>capture of the planet and to start erecting statues of famous gungans
>over the city and to alter any current statues to make them look more
>like gungans. After boarding his iShip, Steve had it hover over the
>City to make his first speech as supreme bombad ruler of RASSM.
>"Peoples of RASSM City! My am Steve, yousa's new supreme ruler. Yousa
>will be handin over any Sith Warriors for gungificatin! Desa will not
>be gettin aways from mesa. Any person hidin dem will be mooie mooie
>punished!"
>The Sith War Archives have been changed.
>Rich Handley is Jar Jar.
The true Gungan Mafia had infinitely more style, the Sith War Goddess
thought to herself.
A brief rumble was heard as all the counterfeit Gungan statues
skyrocketed off the planet and into space, converging on the iShip.
Moments later, the iShip resembled nothing as much as a Gungan-quilled
porcupine, as the statues had impaled themselves all over its hull.
Brushing an invisible speck of dust off the unaltered statue of Rich
Handley, the Goddess restored the archives to their true state.
Sith War Goddess
--
"do not meddle in the affairs of goddesses, as being
struck by lightning often offends" - Rimrunner
Rainbow Heron
wrote:
>restored the archives to their true state.
Drats! I was just about to make a post regarding this!
-Rainbow Heron
(sig does a "drats" snap and darnit look)
Rewrite rewrite rewrite...
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==========================================
Jell-o jigglers are like Gak
...except they don't make that fart noise.
Drake
"Celaeno" <cel...@choklit.nospam.org> wrote in message
news:3d207b71...@news.world-online.no...
Elsewhere, Drake and Ponte were being taken prisoner when suddenly
RASSM City began to twist in time, and all stopped except for Drake.
Looking around he realized the problem, The Deity had altered the story
but after others had accepted the change. The Sith War had fallen into
a horrid Continuity Error Time-Freeze. Why Drake was the only one
not stuck like the others became clear when he called out.
"Um, Deity? Remember me, your old High Priest? Um, I think we got
a problem here..." Drake said, trying to get the attention of the great
Deity
who he had served in previous times.
Getting no immediate answer Drake continued. "I was thinking, could you
put the Gungan stuff back, except of course for the great statue of Rich
Handley, so as to unstick the war and keep, you know, the gamalost like
brown substance from hitting the fan?"
Looking around once more at the frozen dimension. "Pretty please with
hairless gamalost covered gold bikini wearing humiliated Ewoks on top?"
Hoping that the Deity would take pity on those in the war, Drake retook
the place he was in before the time freeze and went back to working on
his own post and hoping that the great and magnanimous Deity would
grant his request.
Drake
Um, please?
Darth Par-Kay
> You will not evade me, gray...@hotmail.com (Darth Par-Kay):
>
> >Before leaving he gave orders to his senior iWok generals to complete
> >capture of the planet and to start erecting statues of famous gungans
> >over the city and to alter any current statues to make them look more
> >like gungans. After boarding his iShip, Steve had it hover over the
> >City to make his first speech as supreme bombad ruler of RASSM.
> >"Peoples of RASSM City! My am Steve, yousa's new supreme ruler. Yousa
> >will be handin over any Sith Warriors for gungificatin! Desa will not
> >be gettin aways from mesa. Any person hidin dem will be mooie mooie
> >punished!"
>
> >The Sith War Archives have been changed.
> >Rich Handley is Jar Jar.
>
> The true Gungan Mafia had infinitely more style, the Sith War Goddess
> thought to herself.
They're the my financial backers, led by Captain Tarpals(now called
Tarpals the Hutt due to his increased waistline).
> A brief rumble was heard as all the counterfeit Gungan statues
> skyrocketed off the planet and into space, converging on the iShip.
> Moments later, the iShip resembled nothing as much as a Gungan-quilled
> porcupine, as the statues had impaled themselves all over its hull.
Uh, wouldn't that be a pin cushion? Since a porcupine would indicate
the statues were poking *out* of the ship rather than into it.
> Brushing an invisible speck of dust off the unaltered statue of Rich
> Handley, the Goddess restored the archives to their true state.
Curses. *tosses locket away* So much for that idea. You'll pay for
that, Goddess.
> Sith War Goddess
--
Steve
Forgot my sig.
Spawn of Porkins
ooooh! It's not nice to threaten the goddess.
Jade
--
Or fool Mother Nature.
Rainbow Heron
wrote:
Yes Mom! Pretty please with ice cream on top?!
-Rainbow Heron
(sig REALLY wanted to post this Sith War post RH had all typed out and
was a nanosecond from hitting 'send')
You can always nullify it later if you don't like it!
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Rainbow Heron's Sith War Characters Page
==========================================
Penny for your two cents?
Spawn of Porkins
> -Rainbow Heron
> (sig REALLY wanted to post this Sith War post RH had all typed out and
> was a nanosecond from hitting 'send')
Post it! A. We all want to read it B. Continuity means nothing C. I'm sure
with a few minor adjustments you could make it fit.
Jade
--
My lost post on the other hand is just plain gone.
Rainbow Heron
<jad...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>> -Rainbow Heron
>> (sig REALLY wanted to post this Sith War post RH had all typed out and
>> was a nanosecond from hitting 'send')
>
>Post it! A. We all want to read it B. Continuity means nothing C. I'm sure
>with a few minor adjustments you could make it fit.
Alrighty! I'll just put the "before ..." thing at the top.
>Jade
>--
>My lost post on the other hand is just plain gone.
As in 'just can't post it now but it still exists on your hard drive'?
If so, please email it to me? I'd love to read it!
-Rainbow Heron
(sig says RH enjoys reading and writing Sith War posts a bit too much)
Would it be a really big jinx to say I'm enjoying being the Archivist
this go-round? The HTMLer inside me is having a field day with this!
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==========================================
Spawn of Porkins
"Rainbow Heron" <rainbo...@ftc-i.net> wrote in message
news:0014iukug3mi4v9t0...@4ax.com...
> On Tue, 2 Jul 2002 15:28:33 -0400, "Spawn of Porkins"
> <jad...@my-deja.com> wrote:
>
> >> -Rainbow Heron
> >> (sig REALLY wanted to post this Sith War post RH had all typed out and
> >> was a nanosecond from hitting 'send')
> >
> >Post it! A. We all want to read it B. Continuity means nothing C. I'm
sure
> >with a few minor adjustments you could make it fit.
>
> Alrighty! I'll just put the "before ..." thing at the top.
>
Cool.
> >Jade
> >--
> >My lost post on the other hand is just plain gone.
>
> As in 'just can't post it now but it still exists on your hard drive'?
> If so, please email it to me? I'd love to read it!
>
Sorry no. As in 'Realized it's uselessness, deleted it, and after two
requests to read it wish I hadn't.'
> -Rainbow Heron
> (sig says RH enjoys reading and writing Sith War posts a bit too much)
>
> Would it be a really big jinx to say I'm enjoying being the Archivist
> this go-round? The HTMLer inside me is having a field day with this!
It's only a jinx if you don't want to do it next time and we all expect you
to because of this statement.
Jade
--
But you just tell 'em 'no' in that case!
Daniel O. Miller
>
> > -Rainbow Heron
> > (sig REALLY wanted to post this Sith War post RH had all typed out and
> > was a nanosecond from hitting 'send')
>
> Post it! A. We all want to read it B. Continuity means nothing C. I'm sure
> with a few minor adjustments you could make it fit.
Sure. Put a header on it like [SITH WAR APOCRYPHA] or something.
Daniel O. Miller
"Does this look familiar? Do you know what it is? Neither do I! I made
it last night in my sleep. Apparently I used gindrogac - highly unstable!
I put a button on it, yes? I wish to press it, but I'm not sure what will
happen if I do..." - Gune
WWYD?
Celaeno
>cel...@choklit.nospam.org (Celaeno) wrote in message news:<3d207b71...@news.world-online.no>...
>> A brief rumble was heard as all the counterfeit Gungan statues
>> skyrocketed off the planet and into space, converging on the iShip.
>> Moments later, the iShip resembled nothing as much as a Gungan-quilled
>> porcupine, as the statues had impaled themselves all over its hull.
>
>Uh, wouldn't that be a pin cushion? Since a porcupine would indicate
>the statues were poking *out* of the ship rather than into it.
Pointy bits where they broke off from their sockets.
Celaeno
>Yes Mom! Pretty please with ice cream on top?!
>
>-Rainbow Heron
>(sig REALLY wanted to post this Sith War post RH had all typed out and
>was a nanosecond from hitting 'send')
Sheesh, can't I have a couple days loss of ISP followed by a week's
worth of time in Wales (was great) without people getting stuck? Don't
tell me you needed the fake Gungan statues in your stories. Or fake
archives.
That's all I explicitly disposed of, you know.
Here's hoping you did post your stuff - I am just starting some hefty
NG catching-up.
Rakelle
--
There was an old man
From Peru, whose limericks
Were really haiku
Rainbow Heron
wrote:
Huh? Us stuck in Wales? Why yes you can have a couple days loss of ISP
without us getting stuck in Wales. I'm glad you thought Wales was
great. How exactly? I never been there yet. I *have* had a couple days
loss of ISP before and it ain't pretty. It'd make me wanna turn
something into a porcupine pin cushion* as well so I can fully
understand that one...
>Don't tell me you needed the fake Gungan statues in your stories.
*I* didn't.
>Or fake archives.
For my story, yeah I did.
>That's all I explicitly disposed of, you know.
Yeah I guess...yeah that's it.
>Here's hoping you did post your stuff
I did, I just changed the timeline on it. It's "Archival Independence
Day".
>I am just starting some hefty NG catching-up.
Good luck! You'll need it! :-)
Sith War 2002 Archives have just been updated tonight if that helps:
http://web.infoave.net/~rkanderson/rassm/sw2002.htm
-Rainbow Heron
(sig says RH literally just *ran over her own toe so she's getting
that feeling a bit right now as a matter of fact)
trying...not...to...swear...
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Celaeno
> I'm glad you thought Wales was
>great. How exactly? I never been there yet. I *have* had a couple days
>loss of ISP before and it ain't pretty. It'd make me wanna turn
>something into a porcupine pin cushion* as well so I can fully
>understand that one...
Hehe. Wales was full of sheep and dragons and castles and fun stuff.
My spoken English is more a jumble of accents than ever before -
nobody got asked where they were from as often as I was!
Rainbow Heron
wrote:
>You will not evade me, Rainbow Heron <rainbo...@ftc-i.net>:
>
>> I'm glad you thought Wales was
>>great. How exactly? I never been there yet. I *have* had a couple days
>>loss of ISP before and it ain't pretty. It'd make me wanna turn
>>something into a porcupine pin cushion* as well so I can fully
>>understand that one...
>
>Hehe. Wales was full of sheep and dragons and castles and fun stuff.
COOL!
>My spoken English is more a jumble of accents than ever before -
>nobody got asked where they were from as often as I was!
:-D You'd probably fit in here down South in some places too!
-Rainbow Heron
(sig says RH is a jumble of accents herself)
Just be glad I'm out of my Ebonics phase.
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==========================================
I'm gonna kick their asses! And then I'm gonna kick their butts!
And when I'm done kicking their donkeys and cigarettes,
I'm gonna kick THEM!
Celaeno
>On Wed, 17 Jul 2002 23:55:59 GMT, cel...@choklit.nospam.org (Celaeno)
>wrote:
>
>>You will not evade me, Rainbow Heron <rainbo...@ftc-i.net>:
>>
>>> I'm glad you thought Wales was
>>>great. How exactly? I never been there yet. I *have* had a couple days
>>>loss of ISP before and it ain't pretty. It'd make me wanna turn
>>>something into a porcupine pin cushion* as well so I can fully
>>>understand that one...
>>
>>Hehe. Wales was full of sheep and dragons and castles and fun stuff.
>
>COOL!
Castle stairwells are evil, though.
>>My spoken English is more a jumble of accents than ever before -
>>nobody got asked where they were from as often as I was!
>
>:-D You'd probably fit in here down South in some places too!
I somehow doubt that, as my accent is very antidrawling :)
(It actually sounds more scandinavian now than it has in years, due to
losing some American drawl (amount of voice used on some consonants,
and how I pronounce some vowels) in the company of people from
Yorkshire and surroundings)
Rainbow Heron
wrote:
>You will not evade me, Rainbow Heron <rainbo...@ftc-i.net>:
>
>>On Wed, 17 Jul 2002 23:55:59 GMT, cel...@choklit.nospam.org (Celaeno)
>>wrote:
>>
>>>You will not evade me, Rainbow Heron <rainbo...@ftc-i.net>:
>>>
>>>> I'm glad you thought Wales was
>>>>great. How exactly? I never been there yet. I *have* had a couple days
>>>>loss of ISP before and it ain't pretty. It'd make me wanna turn
>>>>something into a porcupine pin cushion* as well so I can fully
>>>>understand that one...
>>>
>>>Hehe. Wales was full of sheep and dragons and castles and fun stuff.
>>
>>COOL!
>
>Castle stairwells are evil, though.
They sure sound it. Ick. Hope your feet have recovered.
>>>My spoken English is more a jumble of accents than ever before -
>>>nobody got asked where they were from as often as I was!
>>
>>:-D You'd probably fit in here down South in some places too!
>
>I somehow doubt that, as my accent is very antidrawling :)
>(It actually sounds more scandinavian now than it has in years, due to
>losing some American drawl (amount of voice used on some consonants,
>and how I pronounce some vowels) in the company of people from
>Yorkshire and surroundings)
Down South (I'm talking southeastern America) we use more vowels than
consonants and we talk more slowly so if you have any problems with
pronounciations, I don't think we'd notice. ;-)
We sound more like a less whispy Gone with the Wind than O Brother
Where Art Thou. Just in case you feel like practicing. Actually we're
somewhere in between that in some places...but don't use England for
comparison tho.
Just start talking like you've sitting on a covered porch and it's 100
degrees outside with some noticeable humidity for a few hours.
-Rainbow Heron
(sig likes different accents)
The sheriff in Nell and Sally Field in Forrest Gump are excellent
examples.
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Celaeno
>On Fri, 19 Jul 2002 23:33:14 GMT, cel...@choklit.nospam.org (Celaeno)
>wrote:
>
>>You will not evade me, Rainbow Heron <rainbo...@ftc-i.net>:
>>>:-D You'd probably fit in here down South in some places too!
>>
>>I somehow doubt that, as my accent is very antidrawling :)
>>(It actually sounds more scandinavian now than it has in years, due to
>>losing some American drawl (amount of voice used on some consonants,
>>and how I pronounce some vowels) in the company of people from
>>Yorkshire and surroundings)
>
>Down South (I'm talking southeastern America) we use more vowels than
>consonants and we talk more slowly so if you have any problems with
>pronounciations, I don't think we'd notice. ;-)
>
>We sound more like a less whispy Gone with the Wind than O Brother
>Where Art Thou. Just in case you feel like practicing. Actually we're
>somewhere in between that in some places...but don't use England for
>comparison tho.
>
>Just start talking like you've sitting on a covered porch and it's 100
>degrees outside with some noticeable humidity for a few hours.
I did spend two months in NC once. During midsummer. And even though
that is when I started picking up Americanese, it didn't slow down my
more staccato speech pattern at all :) (I am more likely to stutter
and mince words than to slow down...)
Rainbow Heron
wrote:
>You will not evade me, Rainbow Heron <rainbo...@ftc-i.net>:
>
>>On Fri, 19 Jul 2002 23:33:14 GMT, cel...@choklit.nospam.org (Celaeno)
>>wrote:
>>
>>>You will not evade me, Rainbow Heron <rainbo...@ftc-i.net>:
>
>>>>:-D You'd probably fit in here down South in some places too!
>>>
>>>I somehow doubt that, as my accent is very antidrawling :)
>>>(It actually sounds more scandinavian now than it has in years, due to
>>>losing some American drawl (amount of voice used on some consonants,
>>>and how I pronounce some vowels) in the company of people from
>>>Yorkshire and surroundings)
>>
>>Down South (I'm talking southeastern America) we use more vowels than
>>consonants and we talk more slowly so if you have any problems with
>>pronounciations, I don't think we'd notice. ;-)
>>
>>We sound more like a less whispy Gone with the Wind than O Brother
>>Where Art Thou. Just in case you feel like practicing. Actually we're
>>somewhere in between that in some places...but don't use England for
>>comparison tho.
>>
>>Just start talking like you've sitting on a covered porch and it's 100
>>degrees outside with some noticeable humidity for a few hours.
>
>I did spend two months in NC once.
Mountains, plains, city, or beach? (do you remember the name of the
place you stayed?)
Yes this does matter when it comes to accents.
>During midsummer. And even though that is when I started picking
>up Americanese, it didn't slow down my more staccato speech pattern
>at all :) (I am more likely to stutter and mince words than to slow down...)
Well, then- we'll just have to work on that one won't we? >:-D
-Rainbow Heron
(sig grabs all the tapes)
You wanna learn in your sleep or while awake? ;-)
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