[Sith Bore] Continuity of the Posts
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
A merry creek burbled through it. A beaver was busily constructing a dam
across it, lost in his work, his whiskers twitching occasionally. A family
of deer stood upstream from the beaver, drinking from the creek, while the
last rays of the sun gilded everything and the blossoming marigolds danced
in a gentle breeze.
"RHAARGH!"
The deer, the beaver, and the flowers looked to the woodline, where Tilson
stood, panting, his hands half-curled into claws of pure rage.
"TILSON SMASH!"
Tilson started down the hill toward the animals.
The beaver dived into a pillbox on the opposite shore. The deer
immediately formed a defensive perimeter. Machine guns and rocket
launchers armed with elaborate metallic clicks.
Tilson hesitated.
"P-p-pour it on 'im, sonny!" the beaver yelled.
Machine gun and rocket fire hammered the hillside where Tilson stood.
Tracers tore up gouts of smoking earth. RPG's exploded all around Tilson,
showering him with dirt and metal fragments.
"RAAARRGHH! NATURE GONE MAD! TILSON OUTTA HERE!"
Tilson bounded into the air and disappeared. Anyone tracking him would
have seen that he was headed straight for RASSM City.
The animals held their defensive posture for a moment, then returned to
their labors.
****
In the ruins of a cantina in RASSM City, the assembled Sith Warriors were
taking stock of the situation.
"Let me get this straight," Dan'l said to an irritated-looking Sith Squid.
"You beat Tilson at cards."
"That's right."
"YOU. Beat Tilson. At cards."
"Established fact, yes," Squid said, getting more irritated.
"YOU. Let. Tilson. LOSE?!" Dan'l screamed. "Are you insane or just
murderously reckless?"
"Yes," said the Squid, turning her hand this way and that, admiring the
Ring of Sith War God Power that now adorned it. So far, it hadn't done
anything useful except look nice, but it was doing that remarkably well.
"Wha*mmpgh* I don't under*mghsg*stand," Muuurgh said, chewing his
cheesesteak, flecks of sandwich spitting out at each chew, "is *mmgh* why
things're so *mghgph* screwy around here." He pointed to the bar, where
the Great Esopo was being felt up by Natalie Portman. "It's *mmpgh* like
reality is *mgmmg* unstuck, or some*mmg*thing."
"Explain it to them," Dan'l told his companions.
"Well, old boy, according to our calculations, the Tilsonian Steven is the
least of your worries," Kim Kinnison said. "Reality in this sector was
dependent on two things. One was on-topic discussion. That's pretty much
gone the way of the dodo, as we all know, and what's replaced it... is
perhaps best left undiscussed."
"The other," supplied Worsel, "isss Tilssson winning. Without thisss
basssic ontological fact holding thissss sssyssstem together, we are going
to witnessss massssive upheavalsss until the natural order is resssstored."
"To sum it up for our slower students," Dan'l said, addressing Squid, "by
beating Tilson at something, you've essentially doomed us all to a few
hours, or days, or weeks, of utterly random and chaotic existence."
"Good," Jade said. "I was... *hic*... afraid shomething had *changed*."
"Yeah, what it said," Squid said. "How's that make things any different?"
"I haven't gotten to the worssst part," said Worsel. "Unlessss the
balanssse iss ressstored sssoon enough, thisss reality will be utterly
dessstroyed."
"Destroyed?" said Muuurgh, somewhat doubtfully. He looked at the bar,
where Natalie Portman was busily sucking the fingers of the Great Esopo.
"Okay, I feel you. What's going to happen?"
"As the ontological upheavals get worse and worse, the fabric of reality
will rip," Dan'l said. "Gravity will shift. Stars will be torn asunder.
Light will become darkness, and darkness will be light."
"Yeah, yeah, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria," Squid said,
buckling her weapons belts around her. "Me, I'm gone. I didn't want to be
in this stupid war to begin with."
"Eventually, everyone and everything that ever participated in a Sith War,
and everyone and everything that ever lived in RASSM City, will be
annihilated in a superheated maelstrom of plasma and sucked into the maw of
a singularity, which will then explode with all the energy of the entire
universe," Dan'l said.
"Cool," Muuurgh said. "Our atoms will form the basis of a new reality.
It'll be like being reincarnated."
"No, it won't," Dan'l said. "That singularity will explode with such
force that every component particle in it will be utterly and forever
annihilated. Gone. No new universe. No reincarnation."
"Impossible," Kim Kinnison breathed. "Why, that violates the very laws of
thermodynamics."
Dan'l looked at Kinnison testily.
"Oh," Kinnison said. "Lensmen universe. Right."
"In short," Dan'l finished, "you've doomed us all to a very prolonged
period of suffering, followed by a very short and exciting death, followed
by nothing at all. And you did it by beating Tilson."
"I don't get it," Squid said. "He wasn't even that hard to beat."
"OF COURSE HE WASN'T!" Dan'l bellowed. "Haven't you been listening to a
word I've said? You *let* Tilson lose. Don't you understand? We've *all*
been letting Tilson win because we knew the consequences if he lost! If
even one of us had slipped up before, this would already have happened! Do
you have *any* idea how humiliating it is to have to *let* that idiotic
loser WIN all the time? 'He wasn't even that hard to beat.' You...
MORON!"
"Hey, I didn't know," Squid shrugged. "Sue me."
"I plan to," Dan'l grinned humorlessly.
"Well, there's that," said Kim Kinnison. "Say, what'll we do about the
universe ending, folks? I'm all for saving this universe, if the rest of
you are with me."
"Oh, shut up," Dan'l said.
"I'm with your partner," Muuurgh said. "If there's anything we can do to
save ourselves, I'm down. Even letting Tilson win has to be better than
superheated annihilation."
"Sheep," Squid said. "You're all sheep. Letting Tilson win like a bunch
of whipped dogs? Forget it. Reality is dependent on two things, right?
Tilson winning and on-topic posting. All we really need is one of them. I
say we bring back on-topic posting."
The Sith Warriors gaped at her.
"Not an option?" Squid guessed.
"KILL HER!" screamed She'Pi, and lunged at Squid. "KILL THE HEATHEN
HERETIC!"
Before She'Pi or Squid could begin to damage each other, however, McEwok
burst into the ruins of the bar.
"Goodh awlmahtee haelp us awl!" McEwok yelled. "Tha Tilsoonian Staven hi'
coomin' ruownd fer anatherh pass!"
Confusion greeted this pronouncement. "What?" "What did you say?" "Was
that English?" "Huh?"
"Och, ware right doomedh!"
"Say again?" "I say, rather difficult understanding you." "Is there a
translator in the house?"
Bill Anderson looked up from his Budweiser. "I think he said Tilson's
back."
*****
Tilson stood outside RASSM City, and looked up at the massive origami frog
it had become.
"RWAAARRGGH! TILSON NOT LIKE ORIGAMI! ORIGAMI A FRUITY ART FORM!"
With that, Tilson bounded to the far side of RASSM City, to the approximate
location of the frog's cloaca.
"TILSON GONNA JERK A KNOT OUT OF FROG'S TAIL!"
He grabbed the frog's hindquarters and yanked.
With a cataclysmic roar and a hailstorm of broken masonry and glass, the
city unfolded itself and crashed down on RASSM Plain.
"TILSON'S WORK DONE HERE!"
He leapt away.
***********
Within the ruins of the bar, the Sith Warriors staggered up off the floor.
"What happened?" Jade demanded.
"I think the city unfolded," Muuurgh said. "At least, there aren't any
streets and buildings overhead anymore."
"Och," McEwok moaned. "Didh ennyboody gat tha numberh uv tha troock tha
run over meh?"
"Something has to be done," Dan'l said to Squid. "You got us into this
mess. Are you going to help us out?"
Squid shrugged. "Maybe."
**************
In another universe, Tilson sat typing on his keyboard. As usual, this was
turning out much longer than he'd intended, and he didn't have time to
finish it --
A massive green fist broke through the screen and grabbed Tilson by the
throat. Tilson stared, horrified, as his own face appeared -- somewhat
greener than usual -- in the monitor behind the fist.
"TILSON NOT WRITE TILSON ANYMORE!" rumbled a gravelly voice. "TILSON WANT
MARK MILLAR OR BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS!"
"They're *ack* not *ggh* available," Tilson gasped.
"TILSON WANT MARK MILLAR! MARK MILLAR MAKE TILSON A HORNY SUPERFREAK!"
Tilson paused. "WAIT, THAT SOUND SO WRONG."
"How... *gack* ... about Peter... *eck*... David?"
"RAAAAARGH! TILSON NOT WANT PETER DAVID! PETER DAVID GIVE TILSON
EMOTIONAL BACKSTORY! TILSON HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS OF OWN, NOT NEED SADDLED
WITH STUPID OEDIPAL CONFLICT!"
Tilson's fist squeezed around Tilson's neck. Tilson's neck snapped, and
Tilson knew no more.
********
SUMMARY:
1. Tilson comes across an idyllic nature scene. But on RASSM Planet, the
fauna are heavily armed.
2. The Sith Warriors discuss their plight. Squid is unapologetic about
beating Tilson, and may or may not help the other Sith Warriors fix things.
3. The reset button is gone.
4. The title of the post, and the last section, are references to Julio
Cortazar's "Continuity of the Parks." Obligatory obscure magical realist
reference for Pol. It would have tracked more closely, if I'd had time.
The best Hulk fight ever, for my money, is in The Ultimates no. 5, by Mark
Millar. Millar *writes* Hulk as a horny superfreak. It's good stuff, and
available in the Volume One Ultimates collection. There's even a line of
action figures based on this issue... I have Iron Man and Hulk.
I have some ideas for how this could play out... I have a couple of
pay-offs in mind (pay-offs, not pay-backs) for some stuff I set up here.
(One, in particular... )
Steve Tilson
--
"How many more, Harry?" said Dumbledore, eyes puddling with tears. "How
many more have to be buried before your thirst for vengeance is satisfied?"
- www.pointlesswasteoftime.com
Muuurgh
Anyhow, "Sweet!" post Tilson, I have my plans laid out for my next post,
I'll try and get to it today.
-Muuurgh
<Steve...@rightbehindyou.com> wrote in message
news:20031028094007.234$n...@newsreader.com...
Penguinista
>
> SUMMARY:
>
> 1. Tilson comes across an idyllic nature scene. But on RASSM Planet, the
> fauna are heavily armed.
>
> 2. The Sith Warriors discuss their plight. Squid is unapologetic about
> beating Tilson, and may or may not help the other Sith Warriors fix things.
>
> 3. The reset button is gone.
>
> 4. The title of the post, and the last section, are references to Julio
> Cortazar's "Continuity of the Parks." Obligatory obscure magical realist
> reference for Pol. It would have tracked more closely, if I'd had time.
>
> The best Hulk fight ever, for my money, is in The Ultimates no. 5, by Mark
> Millar. Millar *writes* Hulk as a horny superfreak. It's good stuff, and
> available in the Volume One Ultimates collection. There's even a line of
> action figures based on this issue... I have Iron Man and Hulk.
>
> I have some ideas for how this could play out... I have a couple of
> pay-offs in mind (pay-offs, not pay-backs) for some stuff I set up here.
> (One, in particular... )
>
> Steve Tilson
Complete destruction of RASSM, FABOO!
(folds giant origami X-wing and plants on outskirts of RASSM city)
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote:
> >
> > I have some ideas for how this could play out... I have a couple of
> > pay-offs in mind (pay-offs, not pay-backs) for some stuff I set up
> > here. (One, in particular... )
> >
> > Steve Tilson
>
> Complete destruction of RASSM, FABOO!
For the record: the payoff I mentioned above has nothing to do with Hacker.
ObeeKris
<snip>
> SUMMARY:
> 1. Tilson comes across an idyllic nature scene. But on RASSM Planet, the
> fauna are heavily armed.
> 2. The Sith Warriors discuss their plight. Squid is unapologetic about
> beating Tilson, and may or may not help the other Sith Warriors fix things.
> 3. The reset button is gone.
> 4. The title of the post, and the last section, are references to Julio
> Cortazar's "Continuity of the Parks." Obligatory obscure magical realist
> reference for Pol. It would have tracked more closely, if I'd had time.
> The best Hulk fight ever, for my money, is in The Ultimates no. 5, by Mark
> Millar. Millar *writes* Hulk as a horny superfreak. It's good stuff, and
> available in the Volume One Ultimates collection. There's even a line of
> action figures based on this issue... I have Iron Man and Hulk.
> I have some ideas for how this could play out... I have a couple of
> pay-offs in mind (pay-offs, not pay-backs) for some stuff I set up here.
> (One, in particular... )
LMAO!!!
(Especially about the Peter David stuff)
Brilliant!! The entire thing is just brilliant!! Tilson, one of your
best (that I've read at least) ever.
ObeeKris
Lefty Skywalker
> "P-p-pour it on 'im, sonny!" the beaver yelled.
>
> Machine gun and rocket fire hammered the hillside where Tilson stood.
> Tracers tore up gouts of smoking earth. RPG's exploded all around Tilson,
> showering him with dirt and metal fragments.
>
> "RAAARRGHH! NATURE GONE MAD! TILSON OUTTA HERE!"
> With a cataclysmic roar and a hailstorm of broken masonry and glass, the
> city unfolded itself and crashed down on RASSM Plain.
>
> "TILSON'S WORK DONE HERE!"
>
> He leapt away.
> "RAAAAARGH! TILSON NOT WANT PETER DAVID! PETER DAVID GIVE TILSON
> EMOTIONAL BACKSTORY! TILSON HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS OF OWN, NOT NEED SADDLED
> WITH STUPID OEDIPAL CONFLICT!"
I love the whole thing. I wasn't ROF but I was sure L.
--
Daniel O. Miller
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the
fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true
science. Whosoever does not know it and can no longer marvel, is as good
as dead, and his eyes are dimmed." - Albert Einstein
WWYD?
(hotmail addy is a red herring; I'm at em see aych ess aye)
ObeeKris
> "Well, there's that," said Kim Kinnison. "Say, what'll we do about the
> universe ending, folks? I'm all for saving this universe, if the rest of
> you are with me."
>
> "Oh, shut up," Dan'l said.
>
> "I'm with your partner," Muuurgh said. "If there's anything we can do to
> save ourselves, I'm down. Even letting Tilson win has to be better than
> superheated annihilation."
"I may be able to help you with your problem," said a voice from a
shadow corner of the bar. Heads all turned in the direction of the
speaker.
ObeeKris leaned against the wall, a Guiness in one hand. "If I
understand what I've been hearing, this Tilson of yours just needs to
win at something, anything. Whether at cards or beating a six year
old at hopscotch, Tilson needs to win. Or at least think he's won."
He paused, took a drink from his beer and continued. "My two
companions here are accomplished martial artists." He gestured back
to Sara and Henson sitting at a table. They both raised a flipper in
greeting. "They're willing to go out and confront Tilson. While
they're distracting him, somebody shoots Tilson with a big ass
tranquilizer that knocks him out. When he wakes up, somebody tells
him that the squid cheated at cards."
He raised a hand at the spluttering noises that started coming from
the Sith Squid. "I know, I know, you won fair and square. Hear me
out. We tell him you cheated, which means you automatically lose.
And since you lost, he wins. In his current, mentally slow state,
that logic should work. Heck, in his normal mentally slow state that
logic should work. He wins, which means he goes back to normal. And
reality re-asserts itself to how it should be." He gestured over to
where Natalie Portman was practically tearing off Esopo's clothes.
"Do you really want that to continue?"
"Well, what do you say?" A loud THUD! sounded from somewhere not too
far from the bar. "I'd make a decision quickly, 'cause it sounds like
Tilson's on his way back her."
Summary:
ObeeKris offers a plan that stop Tilson and bring reality back to
normal.
ObeeKris
Policrat
pe...@nospam.calweb.com wrote on 28/10/03 7:03 pm:
This post is not canon.
Pol'
Policrat
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
28/10/03 2:40 pm:
[snip]
> 4. The title of the post, and the last section, are references to Julio
> Cortazar's "Continuity of the Parks." Obligatory obscure magical realist
> reference for Pol. It would have tracked more closely, if I'd had time.
[starts to weep with laughter]
http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~sarahfsk/continuity.html for the rest of you.
Tilson's take is funnier.
Brilliant post, Steve. Tell me, was it *deliberate* that as the rules of
reality began to unravel, you wrote McEwok with an on-the-nail Glaswegian
accent? Or just a happy accident...?
> I have some ideas for how this could play out... I have a couple of
> pay-offs in mind (pay-offs, not pay-backs) for some stuff I set up here.
> (One, in particular... )
There can be only one...
> Steve Tilson
Pol'
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> Tell me, was it *deliberate* that as the rules of
> reality began to unravel, you wrote McEwok with an on-the-nail Glaswegian
> accent? Or just a happy accident...?
Deliberate. I was just hoping it was somewhere near right.
Policrat
> Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> Tell me, was it *deliberate* that as the rules of
>> reality began to unravel, you wrote McEwok with an on-the-nail Glaswegian
>> accent? Or just a happy accident...?
>
> Deliberate. I was just hoping it was somewhere near right.
Aye. Spot on.
Impressive... most impressive...
> Steve Tilson
But everyone gets that this isn't my usual accident, [1] aye?
[1] This sort of malapropism is what you get for writin [2] a post in Scots.
But I like it. Which may also be a result of writing said post in Scots...
[2] This one too. Repeating up it's own arse to infinity.
Gah.
Pol'
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> in article 20031029091754.440$x...@newsreader.com,
> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
> 29/10/03 2:17 pm:
>
> > Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >> Tell me, was it *deliberate* that as the rules of
> >> reality began to unravel, you wrote McEwok with an on-the-nail
> >> Glaswegian accent? Or just a happy accident...?
> >
> > Deliberate. I was just hoping it was somewhere near right.
>
> Aye. Spot on.
>
> Impressive... most impressive...
>
> > Steve Tilson
>
> But everyone gets that this isn't my usual accident, [1] aye?
What *is* your usual accent?
And I thought Glaesca was *McEwok's* patter, whether it's yuirs in RL or
nae...
> [1] This sort of malapropism is what you get for writin [2] a post in
> Scots. But I like it. Which may also be a result of writing said post in
> Scots...
>
> [2] This one too. Repeating up it's own arse to infinity.
>
> Gah.
>
> Pol'
What does "ablins" mean?
Policrat
> Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> in article 20031029091754.440$x...@newsreader.com,
>> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
>> 29/10/03 2:17 pm:
>>
>>> Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>>>> Tell me, was it *deliberate* that as the rules of
>>>> reality began to unravel, you wrote McEwok with an on-the-nail
>>>> Glaswegian accent? Or just a happy accident...?
>>>
>>> Deliberate. I was just hoping it was somewhere near right.
>>
>> Aye. Spot on.
>>
>> Impressive... most impressive...
>>
>>> Steve Tilson
>>
>> But everyone gets that this isn't my usual accident, [1] aye?
>
> What *is* your usual accent?
In rl - Edinburgh/Perthshire with some ancestral North-East undertows; most
Scots think of it as a non-accent, or even an 'Anglicised' one, but the
English often have a real problem with it - to some ears, it sounds
'Canadian' or even 'American' - and it definately gets thicker as I get
drunker...
> And I thought Glaesca was *McEwok's* patter, whether it's yuirs in RL or
> nae...
No, no, *no*. What you produced was an excellent Glaswegian accent, but
McEwok's accent isn't anything of the sort. Which is what I meant about the
rules of reality unwinding....
Basically, it's a 'constructed vernacular' of the sort found in a lot of
modern Scots fiction and poetry, of which Hugh McDiarmid was the most famous
proponent... it's an expansion of my real 'vernacular' idiom, of course, but
depending on the moment and the mood, it veers from me at my drunkest by way
of an 'approximate' Angus/Doric dialect to an impersonation of C16th
literary Scots with the occasional Old Scots archaism thrown in for fun...
That sounds awfully pretentious, but that's the way my mind works 24/7...
self-discipline can only go so far when that sort of thought has popped into
your head without consciously articulating it, and sufficient alcohol (for
me and everyone else nearby) is the only half-effective cure I've found...
>> [1] This sort of malapropism is what you get for writin [2] a post in
>> Scots. But I like it. Which may also be a result of writing said post in
>> Scots...
>>
>> [2] This one too. Repeating up it's own arse to infinity.
>>
>> Gah.
>>
>> Pol'
>
> What does "ablins" mean?
I don't think it's really translatable. This page, which you might find
useful...
http://www.mudcat.org/scots/index.cfm
... and no, I don't know why a Blues site has a Scots glossary...
... but it's guid braid Scots frae ma' pairt o' the waruld, so ah'm guessin'
it's somethin' tae dae wi' the folk-sang influence...
... anyhoo, it says 'perhaps', but I generally just use it as a temporising
interjection where it 'feels' right... something between 'eh?' and 'maybe'
might be the nearest parallel... I'd guess it's probably quite close in
semantic range to 'weel' or 'mebbe'...
You might also find this one helpfu', too...
http://www.speakeasy.org/~dr_gary/POB/Perplexed2002/Perp_Word_Big.doc
> Steve Tilson
Pol'
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
> in article 20031029093621.885$t...@newsreader.com,
> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
> 29/10/03 2:36 pm:
>
> > Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >> in article 20031029091754.440$x...@newsreader.com,
> >> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote
> >> on 29/10/03 2:17 pm:
> >>
> >>> Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> >>>> Tell me, was it *deliberate* that as the rules of
> >>>> reality began to unravel, you wrote McEwok with an on-the-nail
> >>>> Glaswegian accent? Or just a happy accident...?
> >>>
> >>> Deliberate. I was just hoping it was somewhere near right.
> >>
> >> Aye. Spot on.
> >>
> >> Impressive... most impressive...
> >>
> >>> Steve Tilson
> >>
> >> But everyone gets that this isn't my usual accident, [1] aye?
> >
> > What *is* your usual accent?
>
> In rl - Edinburgh/Perthshire with some ancestral North-East undertows;
> most Scots think of it as a non-accent, or even an 'Anglicised' one, but
> the English often have a real problem with it - to some ears, it sounds
> 'Canadian' or even 'American' - and it definately gets thicker as I get
> drunker...
Does anybody still maintain that sound page of RASSMers talking? If so,
you need to submit a sample.
> > And I thought Glaesca was *McEwok's* patter, whether it's yuirs in RL
> > or nae...
>
> No, no, *no*. What you produced was an excellent Glaswegian accent, but
> McEwok's accent isn't anything of the sort. Which is what I meant about
> the rules of reality unwinding....
Ah, okay. Then I guess it was a happy, deliberate accident.
> Basically, it's a 'constructed vernacular' of the sort found in a lot of
> modern Scots fiction and poetry, of which Hugh McDiarmid was the most
> famous proponent... it's an expansion of my real 'vernacular' idiom, of
> course, but depending on the moment and the mood, it veers from me at my
> drunkest by way of an 'approximate' Angus/Doric dialect to an
> impersonation of C16th literary Scots with the occasional Old Scots
> archaism thrown in for fun...
All right, I'll need to track some down, then.
> That sounds awfully pretentious, but that's the way my mind works 24/7...
> self-discipline can only go so far when that sort of thought has popped
> into your head without consciously articulating it, and sufficient
> alcohol (for me and everyone else nearby) is the only half-effective cure
> I've found...
:D
> >> [1] This sort of malapropism is what you get for writin [2] a post in
> >> Scots. But I like it. Which may also be a result of writing said post
> >> in Scots...
> >>
> >> [2] This one too. Repeating up it's own arse to infinity.
> >>
> >> Gah.
> >>
> >> Pol'
> >
> > What does "ablins" mean?
>
> I don't think it's really translatable. This page, which you might find
> useful...
>
> http://www.mudcat.org/scots/index.cfm
>
> ... and no, I don't know why a Blues site has a Scots glossary...
>
> ... but it's guid braid Scots frae ma' pairt o' the waruld, so ah'm
> guessin' it's somethin' tae dae wi' the folk-sang influence...
Most likely.
> ... anyhoo, it says 'perhaps', but I generally just use it as a
> temporising interjection where it 'feels' right... something between
> 'eh?' and 'maybe' might be the nearest parallel... I'd guess it's
> probably quite close in semantic range to 'weel' or 'mebbe'...
>
> You might also find this one helpfu', too...
>
> http://www.speakeasy.org/~dr_gary/POB/Perplexed2002/Perp_Word_Big.doc
Nice, but I don't see <drawing a blank; Scot spy from Ionian Mission;
Professor something or other>'s sayings. And since I don't have a copy of
the book, and have only heard it performed on audiotape, I can't really
transcribe it. One of them was "Och, ablins." The other comes when he
drinks the chocolate and eats the soft-boiled egg upon returning to
*Surprise* with his analysis of what's going on in the power struggle
between Mustafa and Ali Pasha. (Or whoever. It's been years since I even
listened to it.) "Ah, that's a braw wheat," sounds like.
> > Steve Tilson
>
> Pol'
Kim Le
<snip>
>Does anybody still maintain that sound page of RASSMers talking? If so,
>you need to submit a sample.
I maintain a personal collection of various RASSMers all saying
"mippippippi" one way or another. I still collect those, if anyone's
feeling up to it.
It's a Farscape thing.
-- Kim Le
Policraticus: The Real McEwok
Somewhere. Ah dinna ken gif it's 'maintainit'. Bot aye. Gif ah can
find a way tae dae it...
> > > And I thought Glaesca was *McEwok's* patter, whether it's yuirs in RL
> > > or nae...
> >
> > No, no, *no*. What you produced was an excellent Glaswegian accent, but
> > McEwok's accent isn't anything of the sort. Which is what I meant about
> > the rules of reality unwinding....
>
> Ah, okay. Then I guess it was a happy, deliberate accident.
Guid!
> > Basically, it's a 'constructed vernacular' of the sort found in a lot of
> > modern Scots fiction and poetry, of which Hugh McDiarmid was the most
> > famous proponent... it's an expansion of my real 'vernacular' idiom, of
> > course, but depending on the moment and the mood, it veers from me at my
> > drunkest by way of an 'approximate' Angus/Doric dialect to an
> > impersonation of C16th literary Scots with the occasional Old Scots
> > archaism thrown in for fun...
>
> All right, I'll need to track some down, then.
Some what? Stuff written in Scots. Brave man. *Modern* stuff written
in Scots? Ye must be mad. In most of it, the fact it's written in
Scots is an all-embracing literary conciet... the writing is an end in
istelf, with the delight in the uses of the language being most of the
point (unless you've got a lot of Scotch in you)... the poetry is
essentially folk without the music... I'd recommend Alasdair Gray
wholeheartedly (except _Something Leather_, unless you're feeling
*particularly* mysogynistic and liberal), though, as I've said
before... and the Lorimer Bible, as the greatest C20th literary work
in Scots (man was at Trinity, too) and containing the most compelling
translator's 'voice' for St Paul I know of, except possibly Ronnie
Knox (not read, but it's been recommended - he was a Balliol man, like
Wycliffe, but all his friends were at Trinity, and we have a bust of
him, but they don't)... more esoteric things include _Caratyd
Cornucopis_ (out-Joyceing Joyce, but it takes an evening to read a
single page, and I don't own a copy) and generally anything in
verse... I have a soft-spot for John Buchan, but I suspect Steve would
find him rather like Fenmore Cooper, except that he did know what he
was speaking of...
> > That sounds awfully pretentious, but that's the way my mind works 24/7...
> > self-discipline can only go so far when that sort of thought has popped
> > into your head without consciously articulating it, and sufficient
> > alcohol (for me and everyone else nearby) is the only half-effective cure
> > I've found...
>
> :D
>
> > >> [1] This sort of malapropism is what you get for writin [2] a post in
> > >> Scots. But I like it. Which may also be a result of writing said post
> > >> in Scots...
> > >>
> > >> [2] This one too. Repeating up it's own arse to infinity.
> > >>
> > >> Gah.
> > >>
> > >> Pol'
> > >
> > > What does "ablins" mean?
> >
> > I don't think it's really translatable. This page, which you might find
> > useful...
> >
> > http://www.mudcat.org/scots/index.cfm
> >
> > ... and no, I don't know why a Blues site has a Scots glossary...
> >
> > ... but it's guid braid Scots frae ma' pairt o' the waruld, so ah'm
> > guessin' it's somethin' tae dae wi' the folk-sang influence...
>
> Most likely.
Aye. Ach, this CD is daen' me heid in... no in a wrang way, ye ken...
a'm jist findin' it easier tae think in me ain language...
> > ... anyhoo, it says 'perhaps', but I generally just use it as a
> > temporising interjection where it 'feels' right... something between
> > 'eh?' and 'maybe' might be the nearest parallel... I'd guess it's
> > probably quite close in semantic range to 'weel' or 'mebbe'...
> >
> > You might also find this one helpfu', too...
> >
> > http://www.speakeasy.org/~dr_gary/POB/Perplexed2002/Perp_Word_Big.doc
>
> Nice, but I don't see <drawing a blank; Scot spy from Ionian Mission;
> Professor something or other>'s sayings. And since I don't have a copy of
> the book, and have only heard it performed on audiotape, I can't really
> transcribe it. One of them was "Och, ablins." The other comes when he
> drinks the chocolate and eats the soft-boiled egg upon returning to
> *Surprise* with his analysis of what's going on in the power struggle
> between Mustafa and Ali Pasha. (Or whoever. It's been years since I even
> listened to it.) "Ah, that's a braw wheat," sounds like.
"Braw eat"? _The Ionian Mission_ was the first O'Brian I ever read
(aged about eleven) and it's been a favourite since... but I don't
remember the Scotch spy at all (except for O'Brian's refreshing habit
of using "Scotch" - I get the impression that as people, he either
didn't like or was utterly indifferent to us, Heneage Dundas
notwithstanding)...
> > > Steve Tilson
> >
> > Pol'
>
> Steve Tilson
Pol'
Simon Lee
> Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>> in article 20031029093621.885$t...@newsreader.com,
>> In rl - Edinburgh/Perthshire with some ancestral North-East
>> undertows; most Scots think of it as a non-accent, or even an
>> 'Anglicised' one, but the English often have a real problem with it -
>> to some ears, it sounds 'Canadian' or even 'American' - and it
>> definately gets thicker as I get drunker...
>
> Does anybody still maintain that sound page of RASSMers talking? If
> so, you need to submit a sample.
Seconded...
--
__ A L L D O N E! B Y E B Y E!
(__ * _ _ _ _
__)|| | |(_)| \ "...and then, the squirrels attacked."
Alan Edgey
> in article 20031029093621.885$t...@newsreader.com,
> Steve...@rightbehindyou.com at Steve...@rightbehindyou.com wrote on
> 29/10/03 2:36 pm:
>
> > Policrat <bonzodog_gumb...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> > What does "ablins" mean?
>
> I don't think it's really translatable. This page, which you might find
> useful...
>
> http://www.mudcat.org/scots/index.cfm
>
or www.scots-online.org www.scots-online.org/dictionary
Alan
Policrat
squ...@moncal.sys wrote on 29/10/03 11:15 pm:
Off-topic, dammit!
> -- Kim Le
Pol'
Policrat
Alan...@aol.com wrote on 30/10/03 10:38 am:
> www.scots-online.org/dictionary
Impressive... most impressive...
Pol'
Steve...@rightbehindyou.com
Okay, I'll do it.
"Mippippippi."
There.
> It's a Farscape thing.
Did you know you can get Virginia Hey to call your answering machine and
leave a message? I've been thinking about it. $20.
> -- Kim Le
Celaeno
"Mippippippi"
(Ok, so I do have a microphone on this thing...)
Rakelle
--
There was an old man
From Peru, whose limericks
Were really haiku