SITH WAR 2002: Rectum? Damned near killed him! (I love that line)
Michael Ponte (Love Machine)
going on there. Looking for solace from his miserable defeat, Ponte is
getting head from She'Pi, forgetting his troubles. She'Pi reverts to her
former self and becomes a He'Pi. Shock and revulsion course through Ponte's
mind. Then, it happens.
As a result of Ponte's betrayl of his partner, All of Drake's personality
traits begin to fill Ponte's soul. Instead of stopping He'Pi, Ponte sits
back and enjoys it, this being of course because Drake is a huge homo.
The Burrito flies to the Rass system and leads Walsh's forces to Drake.
Ponte ignored all of this and allows the Burrito to ricochet off into space.
At the jostle, He'Pi looks up at Love Machine and realizes that he is a man
again.
"UGHH!!! What the hell was I doing?"
"Don't stop C'Pi! I need you!
"F*ck off fatboy!"
Looking at himself, Ponte realizes that the Drake effect has spread even
further as he has started gaining weight to his body (which was pretty heavy
to begin with!)
"Good Lord!!! Someone call Richard Simmons!"
The Macarena Song fills the air. He'Pi clutches his head and screams. Ponte
is uneffected.
"What's the big deal? I like this song."
He'Pi jumps into an escape pod and rockets off towards RASSM City. Ponte
tries to stop him but his movement is already being hinder and he falls to
the ground out of breath.
"Need help..."
The Viewscreen crackles to life and Drake the Duck appears before Ponte.
"Hello there Mr. Love Machine."
"Drake?!"
"We meet again."
"What have you done to me?"
"You really should have read the fine print on that contract. It stated that
if you betray me you will begin to slowly turn INTO me!"
"Oh shit! Am I gonna become a Duck now too???"
"No, no, no. You become like the real me."
"So you aren't real? I knew that acid was gonna come back to screw me
someday..."
"No, I mean....OH FORGET IT!"
Drake pauses and clutches his ears.
"Is there any way to stop this goddamn music?"
"Hmm. I appear to be the only one unaffected."
"I'll tell you what. I will mark the contract as null and void if you can
stop this racket!"
Ponte considers this and inevitably comes to a conclusion.
"Sure, anythings better than this. Why am I craving T-Bone steaks...several
T-Bone steaks..."
"Just hurry up! My Duck Body can't handle this much longer."
"All right, I'm off. But wait! I can't save RASSM City in this form!"
He reaches into his desk drawer and pulls out some anti-gravity pads.
Placing them under assorted pieces of flab, Ponte rises into the sky. A
maniacal look comes over his eyes as he floats up in the air.
"That's Right! It is I...Vladimir Harkonnen that is the instrument of you
DOOM!!!!"
"Ponte..."
"Yes Drake?"
"No Dune jokes please..."
"Sorry"
Ponte fliess his Burrito down to RASSM City and lands near Big Boy's Foot.
Ponte floats out of the Burrito and looks at his surroundings.
"I'm in the Hall of Ham! It's been crushed!"
Some random moaning issues from the rubble. Ponte floats over to the sound
and discovers Leto II badly injured. Leto looks up and the floating fat man
and screams.
"The BARON!!!"
"No Leto, it's jsut me, Mike Ponte"
"But...My name is Leto and you are floating..."
"I know, I know. Just a coincidence, I swear. I'm here to stop that racket."
"It's coming from Big Boy."
"Thanks."
Ponte leaves Leto lying there in his own blood and enters pulls a lightsaber
out of his pocket. He ignites and cuts into the Foot. Ponte looks at the
huge hole he has created and smiles. Just then, a door slides open beside
the hole. A random technician pokes his head out.
"Why didn't you just use the door a-hole!"
"How dare you talk to The Lord Love Machine in such a manner!"
Ponte beheads the fool and floats in through his hole. He wanders off into
the Mega Big Boy to stop the music and find the fool behind it. he doesn't
notice the Ford Mustang land nearby, ontop of poor Leto II actually, and
it's passengers follow after Ponte. It is Sean Walsh, Admiral Piett, Herve
Villechaize and all the RASSMERS that were being held prisoner by Salacious
Crumb on NeoGesis. Walsh looks to the others.
"I thought Drake would be on the 'Porn Star', but Ponte has entered this
Giant Big Boy."
"Actually Sean, It looks MEGA to me..."
"Quiet Herve. We need to follow Ponte!"
They all enter through the sliding door and slip down the corridors very
quietly...
SUMMARY:
Ponte is turning into Drake. He now uses Replusor lifts to make him float in
the air.
The only way to reverse the process is to Stop the Macarena Song issuing
from the Mega Big Boy in RASSM City.
Walsh and the Gang have followed Ponte in mistakenly thinking that he is
leading them to Drake.
--
Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com
President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)
Veteran of Celebration I and II
"Only about 10 percent of movies made every year are any good. Ninety
percent are just plain shit. And today it seems we're standing in the middle
of the shit." - George Lucas
Visit Quantum Piett: http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
And Ponte Central: http://www.geocities.com/pontecentral/
Michael Ponte (Love Machine)
to the Macarena...
--
Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
super...@attbi.com
President of the International Society of Gold Leader Enthusiasts (ISGLE)
Veteran of Celebration I and II
"Only about 10 percent of movies made every year are any good. Ninety
percent are just plain shit. And today it seems we're standing in the middle
of the shit." - George Lucas
Visit Quantum Piett: http://www.geocities.com/quantumpiett/
And Ponte Central: http://www.geocities.com/pontecentral/
"Michael Ponte (Love Machine)" <super...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:%fPS8.341157$cQ3.20985@sccrnsc01...
Policrat'
[snip!]
> SUMMARY:
>
> Ponte is turning into Drake. He now uses Replusor lifts to make him float in
> the air.
You sick, twisted, sick, f***ing _GENIUS_!
> Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
Pol'
Drake
Michael Ponte (Lard Assed Love Machine) wrote:
The above is in relation to him turing into me, really. ;)
<snips questions of his sexuality>
>
>
> SUMMARY:
>
> Ponte is turning into Drake. He now uses Replusor lifts to make him float
in
> the air.
>
> The only way to reverse the process is to Stop the Macarena Song issuing
> from the Mega Big Boy in RASSM City.
>
> Walsh and the Gang have followed Ponte in mistakenly thinking that he is
> leading them to Drake.
>
> --
> Michael Ponte: The Love Machine
> super...@attbi.com
>
Ya know, if this weren't so funny I think I'd hurt you. As it is... I
think it's
time I go all out in this war. You want a Perv? Just wait.
Drake
Time for me to switch back to '98 mode, full on perv. May Gonk have
mercy upon your souls...
Remove 'pervo' to reply by email.
C'Pi
"Michael Ponte (Love Machine)" <super...@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:%fPS8.341157$cQ3.20985@sccrnsc01...
>
>
>
> Ponte is turning into Drake. He now uses Replusor lifts to make him float
in
> the air.
>
> The only way to reverse the process is to Stop the Macarena Song issuing
> from the Mega Big Boy in RASSM City.
>
> Walsh and the Gang have followed Ponte in mistakenly thinking that he is
> leading them to Drake.
And the C'Pi clone has stopped giving Ponte head.
This is important to remember.
C'Pi
Michael Ponte (Love Machine)
"C'Pi" <jas...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:afh63k$ec5ln$1...@ID-111793.news.dfncis.de...
You liked it...admit it!!
C'Pi
>
> "C'Pi" <jas...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:afh63k$ec5ln$1...@ID-111793.news.dfncis.de...
> >
> > "Michael Ponte (Love Machine)" <super...@attbi.com> wrote in message
> > news:%fPS8.341157$cQ3.20985@sccrnsc01...
> > >
> > >
> > > SUMMARY:
> > >
> > > Ponte is turning into Drake. He now uses Replusor lifts to make him
> float
> > in
> > > the air.
> > >
> > > The only way to reverse the process is to Stop the Macarena Song
issuing
> > > from the Mega Big Boy in RASSM City.
> > >
> > > Walsh and the Gang have followed Ponte in mistakenly thinking that he
is
> > > leading them to Drake.
> >
> > And the C'Pi clone has stopped giving Ponte head.
> >
> > This is important to remember.
> >
> > C'Pi
> >
>
> You liked it...admit it!!
Well it was fine till the damn thing spat at me.
C'Pi
Drake
Hair trigger, eh? Tsk tsk, that wasn't inherited from me dammit!
Drake
Have you killed a kitten today?