Letter to Leaf Management
John Heuer
I just sent this letter to Leafs management because I'm just so tired of
seeing the Leafs squander away another season. I do not fault the players,
rather, the penny pinching management. I copied everyone in the Toronto
media I could think of. :-) If any of you agree with my comments, or have
more of your own, I encourage you to contact <A
HREF="mailto:te...@torontomapleleafs.com">Leaf Management</A> to vent your
frustrations. Hopefully they will get the message. For those who don't agree
with my comments... fair enough. I don't speak for anyone except myself.
---------------------
Dear Maple Leaf Management,
You know, I have always thought of myself as a Leafs fan. I can't afford
going to games, so I watch many on TV. Best I can do.
What has really irked me lately is the Leafs dedication to winning. There is
none, period. I am not referring to the players... they're doing what they
can. However, it must be so disheartening to know management doesn't want to
win as much as the players do.
Case in point: The Leafs were willing to spend millions on Lindros, but when
Bobby Clark wanted Tomas Kaberle included in the trade, you balked. Deal
off. Now Kaberle wants a raise more than the minimum 10% you offered him. I
am completely behind him and hope he stays in the Czech Republic while you
guys get your heads screwed on straight. He's not worth giving up to get a
player like Lindros, and then you insult him with a bag of pucks for a
raise?? You don't want him.
Case in point: The Montreal Candiens are obviously in a rebuilding mode. The
do not have a winning team. They offered Brett Hull double what Detroit did.
Now, Hull wants a Stanley Cup and he won't likely get that with Montreal.
The point... Montreal did everything they could to aquire him. You do not.
Case in point: Curtis Joseph. Pay him. Name one multi-millionaire player on
the Leafs who has earned his salary. Don't you dare even mention Mats
Sundin.
Case in point: Look at what the Raptors did this summer. Watch them next
season. They want to win - desperately.
To Mr. Dryden. When you first came to the Leafs organization, you swore
you'd change the way the club was run. No more Ballard style management.
Well?? We're waiting. Every seat is sold out... so why should you spend more
to improve the club? You are one of the richest teams in hockey. You have
the most loyal fans. 34 years without a cup, and so many sell outs only
proves this.
I am a Leafs fan, but you guys make it so tough. You don't want to win. Why
should I watch? Why should I pay hefty ticket prices to see a game? Think
about it.
If you want to win, do it. Get the big players. Pay the big salaries. Or
join the minor leagues.
Cheers... A tired and fed up fan.
cc. Editor - The Toronto Sun (edi...@sunpub.com)
Editor - The Toronto Star (lette...@thestar.ca)
The Fan 590 (morn...@fan590.com)
Mojo Radio 640 (on...@MOJOradio.com)
Q107 Sports (jl...@q107.com)
Jim McKenny - CityTV (repo...@pulse24.com)
CBC - Hockey Night In Canada (hn...@toronto.cbc.ca)
Chris Selley
about "Ballard-style management." How quickly we forget and start bitching
again.
"John Heuer" <jhe...@homeDELETETHIS.com> wrote in message
news:AXSj7.50452$f01.13...@news3.rdc1.on.home.com...
Owl
Committee to Re-Elect Bush on my priority list.
On Fri, 31 Aug 2001 21:02:24 GMT, "John Heuer"
<jhe...@homeDELETETHIS.com> wrote:
>Hi all,
>I just sent this letter to Leafs management because I'm just so tired of
>seeing the Leafs squander away another season. I do not fault the players,
>rather, the penny pinching management. I copied everyone in the Toronto
>media I could think of. :-)
<where'd the post go? ... where did what post go?>
Chewy 2001
I just sent off this letter to Leafs management. Why? Because I'm fed up with
management brainwashing us into think those bananas on the ice are hockey
players. It sickens me that they believe everyone watches enough television for
their hypnotically suggestive subliminal messages to be effective. What's even
worse than the bananas is the reasoning behind the bananas. The Leafs are CHEAP.
Okay, so they traded for "Roberts Reichel" over the off-season, but how do we
know he's really Robert Reichel? Wouldn't it be cheaper for the Leafs to just
dress up a banana and *pretend* it was Robert Reichel? I think so. So obviously,
I am right, the Leafs are actually a bunch of bananas, anyone who disagrees with
me is obviously dumb, and cannot see through the lies that the Leafs keep
telling them. These are only my opinions, so shut up, and don't answer back.
---------------------
Dear Maple Cheap loser management,
You know, I used to think I had a sexually transmitted disease. Turns out it was
just a pimple. I've seen a couple of Leaf games on TV over the last few decades,
so I consider myself a die-hard fan. I don't actually own a TV, nor can I afford
to go to games (I am unemployed and homeless, I'm using a computer I stole off a
small child), but I still don't think it's fair how you treat my brothers and
sisters of Toronto.
What has really irked me lately is the obvious commitment to sucking crap out of
the ice. Not just the players, who are doing quite admirably, being that they're
all Swedes )not one of them homeless), but management, stock brokers and the US
government as well. Aliens too. The aliens are against me. I'm sure those
heartless Russians would do better if you showed their Finnish butts that you
want to win more than the space poop award.
Case in point: Rush hour *2*??? I mean, I understand how you can make a mistake
once, but come on, who finds that kinda stuff funny? Or maybe it's the
whiz-bang-pop explosions all whacked into a nicely knitted package... uh, NO!
That's just dumb! Tomas Kaberle could make a better movie with his kneecaps, and
that has nothing to do with Eric Lindros.
Case in points: The montreal Canadiens are obviously the best team ever. I mean,
think about it: 24 cups. Only the New York Yankees have more Stanley cups than
that. And they're still trying to bring that whiney craphead son-o'-Bobby to
play for les gloryhounds. Meanwhile, what are the Leafs doing? I'll tell you
what: Yoga. I mean if they weren't so Italian, the Leafs might just have a
chance at the Super bowl, but instead they don't go for Shane Hull and let him
escape to Detroit for less than a billionth of what they should have offered Joe
Sakic last December.
Case of pointy beards: Curtis Joeseph. Come on! It's the CuDog, everyone's
favourite player, even Larry Hull's! If the Leafs don't sign him soon, they'll
miss the playoffs last year, and they'll only have themselves to blame. I mean
Michael Talk-fist is swedish, there's no way he's going to be as good as CuDog.
CuDog is Canadian and the only player on this team who earned his salary. Unlike
that Splats Sunpoopcrap, our so call "captain".
Case in point: Look at what Nike are doing to corner the shoe market. Sweatshops
in foreign countries. I wanna see that kinda commitment from the Leafs, and
until I do, I'm going to panhandle outside the Raptors stadium, not the Leafs.
To Mr. Dryden: When I came over to your house last saturday, I accidentally left
my shoe on your car. Could I please have your car? I badly need it so I can swap
it for some crack. I know someone who would buy the seats, every one of 'em!
You, Mr. Dryden, are one of the richest clubs in hockey. Can I please have some
money. If you don't win a cup in five minutes, I'm moving the Leafs to Texas
where they can burn in the sun. HAAA! BURN, LEAFS, BURN!!!
I'm a Leafs fan, and I do like donuts, but why should I watch? Just because i
stapled my eyes open doesn't mean I have to watch. Give me food, money, shelter.
Give me piece of mind and health insurance. Sign me up for raquetball.
If you want to win, I have a plan: aquire everybody. Send me money in an
envelope. I'm not hard to find, I live on the streets. Just keep asking people
if they want $28,000. If they say "yes", it's me.
Cheers... a fat, bloated, spoilt, annoying, useless, sadsack fan.
Chewy
cc. Editor - The Toronto Sun (edi...@sunpub.com)
Editor - The Toronto Star (lette...@thestar.ca)
The Fan 590 (morn...@fan590.com)
Mojo Radio 640 (on...@MOJOradio.com)
Q107 Sports (jl...@q107.com)
Jim McKenny - CityTV (repo...@pulse24.com)
CBC - Hockey Night In Canada (hn...@toronto.cbc.ca)
Due to abuse, the following groups are disabled, you will receive
an error "213 - DIE COMMY!" if you post to them:
alt.revisionism.col-avalanche, alt.politics.socialism.owl, soc.bi.grandmothers,
alt.satanism.90210, alt.religion.harry-delaney, alt.donnie.the-sky-is-falling,
misc.invest.polar-bears, alt.neighbours-lawn.poo, alt.nuclear-warfare.ikea
Lars Hellsten
> I'm a Leafs fan, and I do like donuts, but why should I watch? Just
> because i stapled my eyes open doesn't mean I have to watch. Give me
> food, money, shelter. Give me piece of mind and health insurance. Sign
> me up for raquetball.
[snip]
<wiping tears from eyes>
We really should have a NG hall of fame...
> Due to abuse, the following groups are disabled, you will receive
> an error "213 - DIE COMMY!" if you post to them:
> alt.revisionism.col-avalanche, alt.politics.socialism.owl, soc.bi.grandmothers,
> alt.satanism.90210, alt.religion.harry-delaney, alt.donnie.the-sky-is-falling,
> misc.invest.polar-bears, alt.neighbours-lawn.poo, alt.nuclear-warfare.ikea
LOL.
Owl
>We really should have a NG hall of fame...
If that's your way of saying "Chewy made me laugh so hard I pissed my
pants", I agree.
Bland
"Chewy 2001" <leafw...@hockeyBLAHmail.com> wrote in message
news:OtVj7.221$4z....@www.newsranger.com...
John Heuer
Sure, the sweep against Ottawa was nice, but it was more Ottawa's poor
playing that Toronto's stellar performance.
Please tell me you honestly believe Toronto has a Stanley Cup team. Go
ahead... try it.
"Chris Selley" <sel...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:itTj7.44417$Hr2.4...@news20.bellglobal.com...
kjk
"John Heuer" <jhe...@homeDELETETHIS.com> wrote in message
> Team starts winning?!? Squeaking into the playoffs is hardly winning.
> Sure, the sweep against Ottawa was nice, but it was more Ottawa's poor
> playing that Toronto's stellar performance.
> Please tell me you honestly believe Toronto has a Stanley Cup team. Go
> ahead... try it.
Toronto has a Stanley Cup team.
Goof.
Chris Selley
"John Heuer" <jhe...@homeDELETETHIS.com> wrote in message
> Team starts winning?!? Squeaking into the playoffs is hardly winning.
Winning games and playoff rounds is winning. Losing games and not making it
into the playoffs, i.e. The Ballard Years, is not winning. It's losing. The
Leafs are winning.
> Sure, the sweep against Ottawa was nice, but it was more Ottawa's poor
> playing that Toronto's stellar performance.
And I should take your word for this... why?
> Please tell me you honestly believe Toronto has a Stanley Cup team. Go
> ahead... try it.
If you mean that Toronto has a team capable of winning the Stanley Cup,
then: "TORONTO HAS A STANLEY CUP TEAM."
Ta.
24ANDCOUNTING
Fuck you kid! The place is sold out, the CBC pays big bucks to watch us!