Just got laid...
Tom Tom Harrington
Actually my whole office was shut down by a raiding party of corporate
bastards. Won't trouble RHOD with the details. But if anyone happens
to know of openings for someone who knows Apache (the most popular web
server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it from memory, send 'em
my way.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"Freedom of choice is what you got! Freedom from choice is what
you want!" -Devo
Daniel E. Macks
Tom "Tom" Harrington <t...@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net> said:
>
>...off, that is.
Oh:( Make that "Boo!".
>Actually my whole office was shut down by a raiding party of corporate
>bastards. Won't trouble RHOD with the details. But if anyone happens
>to know of openings for someone who knows Apache (the most popular web
>server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it from memory, send 'em
>my way.
Hmm...my place could probably make a *volunteer* position for that,
but that's prolly not gonna do you much good. Best I can do is offer
you beer if you happen to be interviewing somewhere near philly.pa.us.
Good luck, and all that...
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies could use some beer right now
--
Daniel Macks
dma...@sas.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks
Viki
> ...off, that is.
>
Condolences, Tom "Tom"... As one who's been there recently, I
feel your pain. Unfortunately I can't be much help otherwise but
I will send you something to ease the transition.
*Smootch*
Viki
Ken Adams
"Viki" <vv...@netscape.net> wrote in message
news:3BCB9A85...@netscape.net...
Make sure you have the package checked for mysterious white powders before
you sniff it...
Tom Tom Harrington
I plan on having both HTML and PDF versions of my resume, because I
have a feeling that unsolicited envelopes might have a hard time
getting opened these days.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"Rock 'n' Roll, as a sound, is what grandparents listen to."
-Fraser Clark, Mondo 2000
Robot Karate Man
Harrington:
> ...off, that is.
Cripes. My condolences.
> But if anyone happens to know of openings for someone who knows Apache
> (the most popular web server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it
> from memory, send 'em my way.
Nope. Sorry. But if you're willing to spend endless hours converting video
into Quicktime and help develop our online education site we might have a
position coming up soon.
Course, you'd have to move to Alaska.
You'd also have to be willing to work long hours for a boss who makes ChaKa
on "Land of the Lost" look like Marilyn Vos Savant, get paid in wampum, and
work in an office the approximate size of the average 747 bathroom with
five other people, 10 PCs and 4 video editing stations.
~Steve-o
--
"The older a man gets, the greater the accomplishments of his youth."
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
This week's Weekly Challenge is awful. Terrible. But that was the point.
http://www.steveospage.com/wc/
*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=
Prime Minister of Alt.What-The http://altwhatthe.cjb.net
Daniel E. Macks
>I'm required by law to mention that the following came from Tom "Tom"
>Harrington:
>
>> ...off, that is.
>
>Cripes. My condolences.
>
>> But if anyone happens to know of openings for someone who knows Apache
>> (the most popular web server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it
>> from memory, send 'em my way.
>
>Nope. Sorry. But if you're willing to spend endless hours converting video
>into Quicktime and help develop our online education site we might have a
>position coming up soon.
>
>Course, you'd have to move to Alaska.
>
>You'd also have to be willing to work long hours for a boss who makes ChaKa
>on "Land of the Lost" look like Marilyn Vos Savant, get paid in wampum, and
>work in an office the approximate size of the average 747 bathroom with
>five other people, 10 PCs and 4 video editing stations.
I don't think he's looking for a grad school.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to the candy
machine for dinner. again.
Gordol
Harrington said:
; ...off, that is.
;
; Actually my whole office was shut down by a raiding party of corporate
; bastards. Won't trouble RHOD with the details. But if anyone happens
; to know of openings for someone who knows Apache (the most popular web
; server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it from memory, send 'em
; my way.
What part of the planet are you on?
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
Peter's Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord, #36. I
will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let
alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the
only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to
every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
Gordol
Man said:
; I'm required by law to mention that the following came from Tom "Tom"
; Harrington:
;
; > ...off, that is.
;
; Cripes. My condolences.
;
; > But if anyone happens to know of openings for someone who knows Apache
; > (the most popular web server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it
; > from memory, send 'em my way.
;
; Nope. Sorry. But if you're willing to spend endless hours converting video
; into Quicktime and help develop our online education site we might have a
; position coming up soon.
;
; Course, you'd have to move to Alaska.
;
; You'd also have to be willing to work long hours for a boss who makes ChaKa
; on "Land of the Lost" look like Marilyn Vos Savant, get paid in wampum, and
; work in an office the approximate size of the average 747 bathroom with
; five other people, 10 PCs and 4 video editing stations.
In the snow, up hill, both ways.
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"And who or what is this 'other'?" "The universe itself, Ta'Lon. But
the Humans, they are the key. And together, you and I, and the rest,
we will turn that key, because on the other side... is salvation for
all of us." (Ta'Lon and G'Kar, B5 "Point Of No Return")
Sid
>...off, that is.
>Actually my whole office was shut down by a raiding party of corporate
>bastards. Won't trouble RHOD with the details. But if anyone happens
>to know of openings for someone who knows Apache (the most popular web
>server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it from memory, send 'em
>my way.
Oh. No, sorry. I am in the job searching process myself. Condolences.
Sid
--
"Just think of a computer as hardware you can program."
-- Nigel de la Tierre
TimC
> ...off, that is.
Sorry to hear T"T"H.
> Actually my whole office was shut down by a raiding party of corporate
Arg, the good folks at BSA. I notice you were using Apache too. Lovely
little f*ckers, aren't they?
> bastards. Won't trouble RHOD with the details. But if anyone happens
> to know of openings for someone who knows Apache (the most popular web
> server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it from memory, send 'em
> my way.
Nothing this way, but you could always become a fizicxist.
--
TimC -- http://www.physics.usyd.edu.au/~tcon/
Love makes the world go 'round, with a little help from intrinsic
angular momentum.
Tom Tom Harrington
> While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Tom "Tom"
> Harrington said:
> ; ...off, that is.
> ;
> ; Actually my whole office was shut down by a raiding party of corporate
> ; bastards. Won't trouble RHOD with the details. But if anyone happens
> ; to know of openings for someone who knows Apache (the most popular web
> ; server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it from memory, send 'em
> ; my way.
> What part of the planet are you on?
Colorado Springs, Colorado. I may consider moving, but I haven't
exhausted the local possibilities yet.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"I'm all lost in ther supermarket, I can no longer shop happily."
- Clash
Tom Tom Harrington
> Tom "Tom" Harrington (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
>> ...off, that is.
> Sorry to hear T"T"H.
>> Actually my whole office was shut down by a raiding party of corporate
> Arg, the good folks at BSA. I notice you were using Apache too. Lovely
> little f*ckers, aren't they?
Actually the raiding party had been sent by corporate HQ. Two Vice
Presidents, one of the guys that started the company before the big
multinational bought it out, two HR people, and a comple of
plainclithes strong-arm types in case anybody got upset.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
Tom Tom Harrington
> Robot Karate Man <HeyS...@steveo.cjb.net> said:
>>I'm required by law to mention that the following came from Tom "Tom"
>>Harrington:
>>> (the most popular web server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it
>>> from memory, send 'em my way.
>>
>>Nope. Sorry. But if you're willing to spend endless hours converting video
>>into Quicktime and help develop our online education site we might have a
>>position coming up soon.
>>
>>Course, you'd have to move to Alaska.
I have relatives there!
>>You'd also have to be willing to work long hours for a boss who makes ChaKa
>>on "Land of the Lost" look like Marilyn Vos Savant, get paid in wampum, and
>>work in an office the approximate size of the average 747 bathroom with
>>five other people, 10 PCs and 4 video editing stations.
I'm not familiar with "Land of the Lost", having finally suppressed
all memories of that type of Saturday-morning TV show, so this doesn't
worry me as much as it probably should.
As for cramming into the airplane toilet, well, are any of these
people cute?
> I don't think he's looking for a grad school.
Actually I'm in grad school. I intend on using my short-term
(hopefully) freedom to work full time on my thesis.
> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to the candy
> machine for dinner. again.
Oooh, candy!
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"Get your facts straight before you try and shove them up
someone elses arse." -Bob Allisat
Sid
It surprising how often I have to do that even though I stock up on
packets of potato chips/wafers, nachos and loads of Mt Dew.
Sid, who carries about 15 dollars in change as well
--
Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
TimC
>> Robot Karate Man <HeyS...@steveo.cjb.net> said:
>>>You'd also have to be willing to work long hours for a boss who makes ChaKa
>>>on "Land of the Lost" look like Marilyn Vos Savant, get paid in wampum, and
>>>work in an office the approximate size of the average 747 bathroom with
>>>five other people, 10 PCs and 4 video editing stations.
>
> I'm not familiar with "Land of the Lost", having finally suppressed
> all memories of that type of Saturday-morning TV show, so this doesn't
> worry me as much as it probably should.
>
> As for cramming into the airplane toilet, well, are any of these
> people cute?
Now now, you can't actually join the mile-high club, unless you are
actually a mile up.
>
>> I don't think he's looking for a grad school.
>
> Actually I'm in grad school. I intend on using my short-term
> (hopefully) freedom to work full time on my thesis.
>
>> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to the candy
>> machine for dinner. again.
Exactly like me, just we dont have a machine so I have to actually see
a human. <gasp>
--
TimC -- http://www.physics.usyd.edu.au/~tcon/
If my head were spinning at relativistic speeds,
it would appear to everyone else that my brane had slowed down.
(unatributed, because it so accurately describes me)
Tom Tom Harrington
>>> machine for dinner. again.
> Exactly like me, just we dont have a machine so I have to actually see
> a human. <gasp>
You're off to the candy human?
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"I still haven't found what I'm looking for" - U2
Daniel E. Macks
>Tom "Tom" Harrington (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
>> From a remote bunker, Daniel E. Macks (dma...@mail.sas.upenn.edu) issued the following manifesto:
>>> Robot Karate Man <HeyS...@steveo.cjb.net> said:
>>>>You'd also have to be willing to work long hours for a boss who makes ChaKa
>>>>on "Land of the Lost" look like Marilyn Vos Savant, get paid in wampum, and
>>>>work in an office the approximate size of the average 747 bathroom with
>>>>five other people, 10 PCs and 4 video editing stations.
>>
>> I'm not familiar with "Land of the Lost", having finally suppressed
>> all memories of that type of Saturday-morning TV show, so this doesn't
>> worry me as much as it probably should.
>>
>> As for cramming into the airplane toilet, well, are any of these
>> people cute?
>
>Now now, you can't actually join the mile-high club, unless you are
>actually a mile up.
Well I'll just lay on my back then.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have bigger erruptions
than Mt. St. Helens
Robot Karate Man
Harrington:
>>>You'd also have to be willing to work long hours for a boss who makes
>>>ChaKa on "Land of the Lost" look like Marilyn Vos Savant, get paid in
>>>wampum, and work in an office the approximate size of the average 747
>>>bathroom with five other people, 10 PCs and 4 video editing stations.
> I'm not familiar with "Land of the Lost", having finally suppressed
> all memories of that type of Saturday-morning TV show, so this doesn't
> worry me as much as it probably should.
Shame. One of the most brain-sticky theme songs in kids-show history. Oh,
and dimetrodons that breathed fire. Oh yeah, and Larry Niven wrote an
episode. So did Walter Koenig.
> As for cramming into the airplane toilet, well, are any of these
> people cute?
Define "cute"
Cute like Christina Aqualoogiemalaria is cute? No.
Cute like Alyssa Milano is cute? No.
Cute like Kate Blanchett is cute? No.
Cute like Rosie O'Donnell is cute? No.
Cute like Camryn Manheim is cute? No.
Cute like Eric McCormack is cute? No.
Cute like George Wendt is cute? Sure.
Gordol
Harrington said:
; From a remote bunker, Gordol (postm...@gordol.org) issued the following manifesto:
; > While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Tom "Tom"
; > Harrington said:
;
; > ; ...off, that is.
; > ;
; > ; Actually my whole office was shut down by a raiding party of corporate
; > ; bastards. Won't trouble RHOD with the details. But if anyone happens
; > ; to know of openings for someone who knows Apache (the most popular web
; > ; server in the world!) well enough to rewrite it from memory, send 'em
; > ; my way.
;
; > What part of the planet are you on?
;
; Colorado Springs, Colorado. I may consider moving, but I haven't
; exhausted the local possibilities yet.
Oh, then never mind.
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"What do I do now?" "Old style? You roll over and go to bed. New
style? You go out for pizza and I never see you again." (Envoy
Correlilmurzon and Cmdr. Ivanova (sex, human style), B5 "Acts of
Sacrifice")
Richard Fitzpatrick
>From a remote bunker, TimC issued the following manifesto:
>>> From a remote bunker, Daniel E. Macks issued the following manifesto:
>>>> dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are off to the candy
>>>> machine for dinner. again.
>
>> Exactly like me, just we dont have a machine so I have to actually
>> see a human. <gasp>
>
>You're off to the candy human?
Yeah, 'cos it...
"...mixes it with lurve and makes the
world...SSSSSSSssssssss@#$^()*@)^*^*^[NO CARRIER]
Richard Fitzpatrick
>Tom "Tom" Harrington (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite,
>entirely unlike tea:
>>
>> these people cute?
>
>Now now, you can't actually join the mile-high club, unless
>you are actually a mile up.
*Blush* Well, thanks. But there's no need to exaggerate.
Oh. You meant a mile up IN THE AIR.
Nevermind.
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <tsmvnl4...@corp.supernews.com>
Froom: t...@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
On: Tue, 2968 Sep 1993 00:27:33 -0000
________________________________________________________________________________
> ...off, that is.
Buggery bollocks! You have my sympathy (but not, alas, an offer of
work from me, even if I could imagine your commuting to and from
Dagenham from whereveritisthatyoulivenow). :-(
If it weren't for AHBOU I wouldn't have even known. There's irony for
you. Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
news, please?
--
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
It makes John Dougherty happy, so it must be good.
Viki
Viki, just a thought
Jellyroll Papadopoulos wrote in message ...
Ian Davis
Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never...@email.com> wrote:
> Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
> news, please?
My budgie died this morning.
Ian.
|||| ||||
It didn't budge, right?
M. "sorry"
Ken Adams
"Ian Davis" <Ian....@ludwig.edu.au> wrote in message
news:Ian.Davis-F52FB...@ariel.ucs.unimelb.edu.au...
No, look, 'e's just restin'.
Jason
>
> Also Sprach Tom "Tom" Harrington:
>
> Massage: <tsmvnl4...@corp.supernews.com>
> Froom: t...@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net (Tom "Tom" Harrington)
> On: Tue, 2968 Sep 1993 00:27:33 -0000
> ________________________________________________________________________________
>
> > ...off, that is.
>
> Buggery bollocks! You have my sympathy (but not, alas, an offer of
> work from me, even if I could imagine your commuting to and from
> Dagenham from whereveritisthatyoulivenow). :-(
>
> If it weren't for AHBOU I wouldn't have even known. There's irony for
> you. Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
> news, please?
Hmm...Really Important News will return right after a word from our
sponsor.
Pcak.
And we're back!
--
Game theory boils down to a triplet of simple rules.
One: your best possible strategy is to cooperate; you win maximally.
Two: a poor, but serviceable, strategy is to treat your partner as a
potential enemy--assume that he might do you in and so take
countermeasures.
Three: your worst possible strategy is to cooperate; you get wiped
out.
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <3BCE6313...@shadowknife.com>
Froom: Jason <jbea...@shadowknife.com>
On: Thu, 2970 Sep 1993 00:05:23 -0500
________________________________________________________________________________
> Pcak.
I'm already here. Many more of these and I might have to employ a
Personal Usenet Secretary to handle all my calls.
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <Ian.Davis-F52FB...@ariel.ucs.unimelb.edu.au>
Froom: Ian Davis <Ian....@ludwig.edu.au>
On: Thu, 2970 Sep 1993 09:39:10 +1100
________________________________________________________________________________
> > Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
> > news, please?
>
> My budgie died this morning.
Assuming it's not just resting, you have my deepest sympathy.
Do I need to grep for "budgie" now?
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <9qkhcf$oqej9$1...@ID-35494.news.dfncis.de>
Froom: "Viki" <vv...@netscape.net>
On: Wed, 2969 Sep 1993 14:07:53 -0400
________________________________________________________________________________
> Perhaps you should just not leave us, luv.
I'm already late for work...again.
Henriette Kress
> Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never...@email.com> wrote:
>
> > Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
> > news, please?
>
> My budgie died this morning.
Perhaps you shouldn't eat so many beans.
Hetta
--
he...@saunalahti.fi Henriette Kress Helsinki, Finland
Best of RHOD - http://www.ibiblio.org/herbmed/rhod/main.html
Ian Davis
Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never...@email.com> wrote:
> Also Sprach Ian Davis:
> > My budgie died this morning.
>
> Assuming it's not just resting, you have my deepest sympathy.
>
> Do I need to grep for "budgie" now?
Probably not necessary.
She was a pretty but particularly stupid bird, that was wont to eat
her perch into oblivion while standing merrily on her cuttlefish. As
a result she let her beak grow so long (on two occasions) that she
almost impaled herself. She had a deep and unrequited love for the
microwave, returning its beeps with passion and uncanny accuracy,
although not quite as good as Alf (our previous bird, and there's a
good story for another day and a cold beer) who did a mean impression
of our phone ("Someone answer the bird, please.")
Dying is one thing. I am sorry for her passing and we will miss her.
We held a short but moving funeral beneath the gum trees, where her
larrikin lorikeet and rosella cousins live; there are worse places to
spend eternity. But she made my girls cry when they found her face
down on the bottom of the cage, and I haven't forgiven her for that
yet. Love can be a cruel two-edged sword sometimes.
Maybe a cockatiel next time.
Ian, whose green/blue/yellow budgerigar Maggie has, milligram for
milligram, carked it.
GW De Lacey
>Maybe a cockatiel next time.
>
>Ian, whose green/blue/yellow budgerigar Maggie has, milligram for
>milligram, carked it.
Indeed, a sad moment.
A very long time ago (last century, in fact) my daughter's budgerigar
turned into a green tree snake, or that's what I tried to tell her(1).
It was a problem though, because she kept asking about the lump in the
snake's tummy, and explanations related to budgerigar eggs that would
later hatch into nice new birds fell on deaf ears.
I needn't have worried too much about the trauma and it's subsequent
effect on the child's mental health, though.
We purchased a new bird, and it was much loved for many months. One
day though, a child's voice called up the stairs:
'Hey dad, the bird's gone but the cat's fat.'
--
GW De Lacey
GW De Lacey
Ah yes, the dangling footnote dangles.
1. The snake was thin enough to get into the cage when it was hungry.
It couldn't get out because of it's increased diameter after it had
dined.
Jason
>
> Also Sprach Jason:
>
> Massage: <3BCE6313...@shadowknife.com>
> Froom: Jason <jbea...@shadowknife.com>
> On: Thu, 2970 Sep 1993 00:05:23 -0500
> ________________________________________________________________________________
>
> > Pcak.
>
> I'm already here. Many more of these and I might have to employ a
> Personal Usenet Secretary to handle all my calls.
Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
Do you have Olive Oil in a bottle?
Is your refrigerator running?
These and other fine jokes can be had at the expense of Mr. Jellyroll
Papadopoulos by simply posting them in random newsgroups. Just place
his name somewhere in the message, and PRESTO! he appears. Who needs a
phone when such things as Usenet and grep exist?
dave...@spamcop.net
Might he just be pining?
Dave "My condolences..." Hinz
Donald Welsh
Sugar, (dee dah-dah-dah Dee-dah) aw honey, honey (dee dah-dah-dah Dee-
dah)...
Al Sharka
} Ian Davis wrote:
} > Jellyroll Papadopoulos wrote:
} >
} > > Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
} > > news, please?
} >
} > My budgie died this morning.
}
} Perhaps you shouldn't eat so many beans.
}
} Hetta
Hetta, I know that you don't include many (any?) of your own posts in BORHOD,
but I think you would be doing a dis-service if you didn't include the one
I'm responding to.
BTW, don't you know a herbal solution for methane emission control?
Tom Tom Harrington
> Jellyroll Papadopoulos wrote:
>>
>> Also Sprach Jason:
>>
>> Massage: <3BCE6313...@shadowknife.com>
>> Froom: Jason <jbea...@shadowknife.com>
>> On: Thu, 2970 Sep 1993 00:05:23 -0500
>> ________________________________________________________________________________
>>
>> > Pcak.
>>
>> I'm already here. Many more of these and I might have to employ a
>> Personal Usenet Secretary to handle all my calls.
> Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
> Do you have Olive Oil in a bottle?
> Is your refrigerator running?
> These and other fine jokes can be had at the expense of Mr. Jellyroll
> Papadopoulos by simply posting them in random newsgroups. Just place
> his name somewhere in the message, and PRESTO! he appears. Who needs a
> phone when such things as Usenet and grep exist?
So you're saying that "Pcak" is an encrypted code for "Kibo"?
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"The Revolution Will Not Be Televised"
--Gil Scott-Heron
Henriette Kress
> Sugar, (dee dah-dah-dah Dee-dah) aw honey, honey (dee dah-dah-dah Dee-
> dah)...
Now that is a _bad_ earworm.
Perhaps I can find something suitable to fend it off with.
Oh I know. This one will keep all earworms out, and it's got a nice lilting
tune:
"Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river...
you can hear the boats go by, you can spend the night beside her..."
And here's something for Donald to unrot:
"Naq vg'f na vgfl ovgfl grral jrral lryybj cbyxn qbg ovxvav"
Cheers
Hetta (You're not Donald? And you unrotted it? Heh. Serves you right.)
Henriette Kress
> Henriette Kress wrote:
> } Ian Davis wrote:
> } >
> } > My budgie died this morning.
> }
> } Perhaps you shouldn't eat so many beans.
> }
> } Hetta
>
> Hetta, I know that you don't include many (any?) of your own posts in BORHOD,
> but I think you would be doing a dis-service if you didn't include the one
> I'm responding to.
;)
> BTW, don't you know a herbal solution for methane emission control?
Sure, there's lots. But the implications of me saying "perhaps you should chew
on some caraway / aniseed / fennel seed / dill seed / ..." would probably be
lost on the masses.
Cheers
Hetta (Ian? Sorry, I didn't know you were serious. Here, have some careaway.)
Daniel E. Macks
>>
>> I'm already here. Many more of these and I might have to employ a
>> Personal Usenet Secretary to handle all my calls.
>
>Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
>Do you have Olive Oil in a bottle?
>Is your refrigerator running?
>
>These and other fine jokes can be had at the expense of Mr. Jellyroll
>Papadopoulos by simply posting them in random newsgroups. Just place
>his name somewhere in the message, and PRESTO! he appears. Who needs a
>phone when such things as Usenet and grep exist?
And besides that, a phone would require that you have a friend to call
you, or that there's someone somewhere in the universe against who
doesn't have a restraining order prohibiting you from calling.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have had telemarketters
hang up on them
Daniel E. Macks
Thanks, but I don't usually care if it's a bit wrinkled.
>Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
>news, please?
I was drunk last night.
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies are going to hunt down
and kill whomever invented Karaoke
Jason
>
> From a remote bunker, Jason (jbea...@shadowknife.com) issued the following manifesto:
> > Jellyroll Papadopoulos wrote:
> >>
> >> Also Sprach Jason:
> >>
> >> Massage: <3BCE6313...@shadowknife.com>
> >> Froom: Jason <jbea...@shadowknife.com>
> >> On: Thu, 2970 Sep 1993 00:05:23 -0500
> >> ________________________________________________________________________________
> >>
> >> > Pcak.
> >>
> >> I'm already here. Many more of these and I might have to employ a
> >> Personal Usenet Secretary to handle all my calls.
>
> > Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
> > Do you have Olive Oil in a bottle?
> > Is your refrigerator running?
>
> > These and other fine jokes can be had at the expense of Mr. Jellyroll
> > Papadopoulos by simply posting them in random newsgroups. Just place
> > his name somewhere in the message, and PRESTO! he appears. Who needs a
> > phone when such things as Usenet and grep exist?
>
> So you're saying that "Pcak" is an encrypted code for "Kibo"?
I leave the adding together of the numerical values of the ASCII
characters as an exercise for the reader.
Gordol
; In article <smtp23624c133a.wibble@localhost>,
What's a budgie?
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
Peter's Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord, #26.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is
probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me.
Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my
bedchamber.
Tom Tom Harrington
> While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Ian Davis said:
> ; In article <smtp23624c133a.wibble@localhost>,
> ; Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never...@email.com> wrote:
> ;
> ; > Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
> ; > news, please?
> ; My budgie died this morning.
> What's a budgie?
"Budgie", translated from Limey to Merkin, means "Parakeet".
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"The captain will for his captain's pay obey
The general order of battle play." - Clash
Jason
>
> From a remote bunker, Gordol (postm...@gordol.org) issued the following manifesto:
> > While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Ian Davis said:
>
> > ; In article <smtp23624c133a.wibble@localhost>,
> > ; Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never...@email.com> wrote:
> > ;
> > ; > Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
> > ; > news, please?
> > ; My budgie died this morning.
>
> > What's a budgie?
>
> "Budgie", translated from Limey to Merkin, means "Parakeet".
Even though it sounds suspiciously like an underwear fiasco.
Donald Welsh
<he...@saunalahti.fi> wrote:
>dwe...@nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh) wrote:
>
>> Sugar, (dee dah-dah-dah Dee-dah) aw honey, honey (dee dah-dah-dah Dee-
>> dah)...
>
>Now that is a _bad_ earworm.
I seem to be a vector for a host of peculiarly virulent memes.
>Perhaps I can find something suitable to fend it off with.
Maybe this is why SETI hasn't found anything -- we're under quarantine.
OTOH, this may be a good thing. Can you imagine the earworms developed
by ancient alien civilizations? You hear the tune *once* and it slilps
past all your mental defenses and sets up an endless loop. Some evil
alien probably worked out millennia ago how to use it for advertising
purposes. The victim hears the jingle, and can't get it out of his /
her / its head until he / she / it buys more Blarg.
"Blarg, Blarg, Blarg! Everybody loves Blarg! The Original Blarg, from
Galactic Core. Accept no substitutes!" We'd destroy ourselves trying
to get the stuff.
>Oh I know. This one will keep all earworms out, and it's got a nice lilting
>tune:
>
>"Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river...
> you can hear the boats go by, you can spend the night beside her..."
I don't know this one. It doesn't quite fit the tune of "Lucy in the
Sky with Diamonds".
>And here's something for Donald to unrot:
"2, 3, 4, gryy gur crbcyr jung fur jber!"
>"Naq vg'f na vgfl ovgfl grral jrral lryybj cbyxn qbg ovxvav"
Aw, a secret message just for me. Makes me feel all special.
"Hetta the herb doctor, she told me what to say. Hetta the herb doctor,
she told me what to do. I know that you'll be mine when I say this to
you: 'Ooo eee ooo ah ah, ting tang walla-walla bing-bang...'"
>Cheers
>Hetta (You're not Donald?
I am what I am. (Most mind flayers couldn't give a damn.)
>And you unrotted it? Heh. Serves you right.)
That doesn't bug me. What bugs me is people who rot13 words in the
middle of fragraprf. You can usually glark the meaning from pbagrkg, so
it tends to genva your oenva to read those rotted jbeqf.
I don't *want* to be able to read rot13 fcbagnarbhfyl. I want to avoid
ernqvat spoilers nppvqragnyyl.
There was a Cvref Nagubal book once which had a character that spoke in
Caesar cipher. It wasn't that hard to read, so you see my pbaprea is
trahvar.
Remind me to tell you sometime about my list of words with rot13 duals.
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <Ian.Davis-58EFD...@ariel.ucs.unimelb.edu.au>
Froom: Ian Davis <Ian....@ludwig.edu.au>
On: Thu, 2970 Sep 1993 18:03:59 +1100
________________________________________________________________________________
> > Do I need to grep for "budgie" now?
>
> Probably not necessary.
Noted.
> Maybe a cockatiel next time.
I must be tired. That's a punchline. I know there's a joke in there. I
just can't see it.
Ian Davis
Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never...@email.com> wrote:
> Also Sprach Ian Davis:
> > Maybe a cockatiel next time.
>
> I must be tired. That's a punchline. I know there's a joke in there. I
> just can't see it.
Shaken not stirred.
"Hey doc, how's me aviaries?"
I can tell by the birdseed.
You misspelled "spaniel."
You *are* tired, aren't you? You've even missed an invocation, you
sham-grepper you. Donald Welsh knows what I'm talking about.
Actually, I just like cockatiels.
Ian.
Henriette Kress
> Maybe this is why SETI hasn't found anything -- we're under quarantine.
Sounds reasonable.
> >"Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river...
> > you can hear the boats go by, you can spend the night beside her..."
>
> I don't know this one. It doesn't quite fit the tune of "Lucy in the
> Sky with Diamonds".
Get thee to a record store and purchase one (1) copy of whichever of the best of
Leonard Cohen they have in today. If they have several different ones, take the
one with the most tunes.
> That doesn't bug me. What bugs me is people who rot13 words in the
> middle of fragraprf.
Visit the shed to see this abused beyond the unreasonable.
Cheers
Hetta (It's four in the morning, the end of December ...)
Screwtape
>Donald Welsh knows what I'm talking about.
Is that a threat?
Screwtape,
...poor Donald Welsh.
--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|
| Fried eye car nelpew.
|
Richard Fitzpatrick
>Also Sprach Tom "Tom" Harrington:
>>
>> ...off, that is.
>
>Buggery bollocks! You have my sympathy (but not, alas, an
>offer of work from me, even if I could imagine your commuting
>to and from Dagenham from whereveritisthatyoulivenow). :-(
Indeed. Terribly hard lines, Tom "Tom", old chap[1].
My commiserations and warmest wishes for the future and the enforced
study-leave. I'd even offer the buggery and bollocks, too - if I thought
they'd help.
You probably could cyber-commute on at least some of what you do, but our
website doesn't want/need any Apaches right now. Very challenged in the
indigenous staff area, that's us.
Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti is indigent.
Richard Fitzpatrick
>Jellyroll Papadopoulos wrote ...
>>Also Sprach Tom "Tom" Harrington:
>>>
>>> ...off, that is.
>>
>>Buggery bollocks! You have my sympathy (but not, alas, an
>>offer of work from me, even if I could imagine your commuting
>>to and from Dagenham from whereveritisthatyoulivenow). :-(
>
>Indeed. Terribly hard lines, Tom "Tom", old chap[1].
Bluddy dangling footnotes.
[1] Which is snob-speak for blubbering on your shoulder in complete
heart-broken sympathy.
Tom Tom Harrington
> Remind me to tell you sometime about my list of words with rot13 duals.
In my bored-Perl-hacker mode I once wrote a script to exhaustively
locate all of these in a given word list. With my new-found free time
I may just resurrect this and inflict it on you people.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"The revolution WILL put you in the driver's seat."
--Gil Scott-Heron
Tom Tom Harrington
> Jellyroll Papadopoulos wrote ...
>>Also Sprach Tom "Tom" Harrington:
>>>
>>> ...off, that is.
>>
>>Buggery bollocks! You have my sympathy (but not, alas, an
>>offer of work from me, even if I could imagine your commuting
>>to and from Dagenham from whereveritisthatyoulivenow). :-(
> Indeed. Terribly hard lines, Tom "Tom", old chap[1].
> My commiserations and warmest wishes for the future and the enforced
> study-leave. I'd even offer the buggery and bollocks, too - if I thought
> they'd help.
I'll definitely pass on the former. However if this goes on too long,
I may need the latter as the base for a stew, or at least a broth.
> You probably could cyber-commute on at least some of what you do, but our
> website doesn't want/need any Apaches right now. Very challenged in the
> indigenous staff area, that's us.
Given recent events I should probably point out that I was _not_
talking about Apache helicopters.
--
Tom "Tom" Harrington ------------ Decode to email: tph (at) pcisys (dot) net
"Please, if it's not too late: Make it a cheeseburger." -Lyle Lovett
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <Ian.Davis-8D199...@ariel.ucs.unimelb.edu.au>
Froom: Ian Davis <Ian....@ludwig.edu.au>
On: Fri, 2971 Sep 1993 15:27:29 +1100
________________________________________________________________________________
> You *are* tired, aren't you?
And shagged out after a long squawk, yes.
> You've even missed an invocation, you
> sham-grepper you. Donald Welsh knows what I'm talking about.
Shit! Where? Either my newsfeed or my regexp must be buggered. :-(
> Actually, I just like cockatiels.
Fried or boiled?
Viki
>Also Sprach Viki:
>
>Massage: <9qkhcf$oqej9$1...@ID-35494.news.dfncis.de>
>Froom: "Viki" <vv...@netscape.net>
>On: Wed, 2969 Sep 1993 14:07:53 -0400
>___________________________________________________________________________
_____
>
>> Perhaps you should just not leave us, luv.
>
>I'm already late for work...again.
>
This is a bad thing? I've been asked to be made late for work.
Viki
Gordol
Papadopoulos said:
; > You *are* tired, aren't you?
;
; And shagged out after a long squawk, yes.
;
; > You've even missed an invocation, you
; > sham-grepper you. Donald Welsh knows what I'm talking about.
;
; Shit! Where? Either my newsfeed or my regexp must be buggered. :-(
;
; > Actually, I just like cockatiels.
;
; Fried or boiled?
Sauteed.
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"All we need is for one of them to leave the room. Then there'll be
only one man with a gun." "What? Excuse me. Where I come from, one
man from three leaves two." "Where I come from is a far more
interesting place." (Marcus Cole and Dr. Franklin, B5 "Exogenesis")
Gordol
Harrington said:
; From a remote bunker, Gordol (postm...@gordol.org) issued the following manifesto:
; > While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Ian Davis said:
; > ; In article <smtp23624c133a.wibble@localhost>,
; > ; Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never...@email.com> wrote:
; > ;
; > ; > Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
; > ; > news, please?
; > ; My budgie died this morning.
;
; > What's a budgie?
;
; "Budgie", translated from Limey to Merkin, means "Parakeet".
Oh. Condolences then, to Ian.
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"Look, I don't mind if you bend the rules a little, Doctor. I mean I
bend a few myself. But I do like to be informed. If I'm going to
share in the blame, I'd at least like to share in some of the fun."
(Lt. Cmdr. Ivanova, B5 "The Quality of Mercy")
Donald Welsh
"Tom" Harrington) wrote:
>From a remote bunker, Donald Welsh (dwe...@nospam.melbpc.org.au) issued the following manifesto:
>
>> Remind me to tell you sometime about my list of words with rot13 duals.
>
>In my bored-Perl-hacker mode I once wrote a script to exhaustively
>locate all of these in a given word list. With my new-found free time
>I may just resurrect this and inflict it on you people.
I wrote it as a shell script (no Perl). No word list to check it on, so
someone else ran it ... and it worked.
Donald Welsh
<Never...@email.com> wrote:
>Also Sprach Ian Davis:
>
>Massage: <Ian.Davis-58EFD...@ariel.ucs.unimelb.edu.au>
>Froom: Ian Davis <Ian....@ludwig.edu.au>
>On: Thu, 2970 Sep 1993 18:03:59 +1100
>________________________________________________________________________________
>
>> > Do I need to grep for "budgie" now?
>>
>> Probably not necessary.
>
>Noted.
>
>> Maybe a cockatiel next time.
>
>I must be tired. That's a punchline. I know there's a joke in there. I
>just can't see it.
Ask Viki.
-- D. "I think she's seen a cockatoo." W.
Donald Welsh
wrote:
>Donald Welsh knows what I'm talking about.
It's what I aspire to.
Richard Fitzpatrick
>From a remote bunker, Richard Fitzpatrick (fit...@webone.com.au)
>issued the following manifesto:
>> Jellyroll Papadopoulos wrote ...
>>>Also Sprach Tom "Tom" Harrington:
>>>>
>>>> ...off, that is.
>>>
>>>Buggery bollocks! You have my sympathy (but not, alas, an
>>>offer of work from me, even if I could imagine your commuting
>>>to and from Dagenham from whereveritisthatyoulivenow). :-(
>
>> Indeed. Terribly hard lines, Tom "Tom", old chap[1].
>
>> My commiserations and warmest wishes for the future and the
>> enforced study-leave. I'd even offer the buggery and bollocks,
>> too - if I thought they'd help.
>
>I'll definitely pass on the former.
Okay. I'm definitely not of the "don't knock it if you haven't tried it"
school.
>However if this goes on too long, I may need the latter as
>the base for a stew, or at least a broth.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, I can offer you some brew, or at least some froth. Fair enough?
>> Very challenged in the indigenous staff area, that's us.
>
>Given recent events I should probably point out that I was
>_not_ talking about Apache helicopters.
Drat. I was hoping Echelon (or whatever it's called these days) would pick
up at least *one* of my acquaintances.
Richard, whose dull green Kampuchean loving ghoti asks permission to swim
alongside.
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <9qpp6h$pipd5$1...@ID-35494.news.dfncis.de>
Froom: "Viki" <vv...@netscape.net>
On: Fri, 2971 Sep 1993 13:51:50 -0400
________________________________________________________________________________
> >I'm already late for work...again.
>
> This is a bad thing? I've been asked to be made late for work.
I've been parsing that in my mind all night, and it still makes not
one picoGwent of sense.
Cici in Texas
posting as Gordol <postm...@gordol.org> wrote:
>; Nope. Sorry. But if you're willing to spend endless hours converting video
>; into Quicktime and help develop our online education site we might have a
>; position coming up soon.
>;
>; Course, you'd have to move to Alaska.
>;
>; You'd also have to be willing to work long hours for a boss who makes ChaKa
>; on "Land of the Lost" look like Marilyn Vos Savant, get paid in wampum, and
>; work in an office the approximate size of the average 747 bathroom with
>; five other people, 10 PCs and 4 video editing stations.
>
>In the snow, up hill, both ways.
While fighting off the polar bears with your lunchbox.
Donald Welsh
wrote:
>Ian Davis schrieb:
>>Donald Welsh knows what I'm talking about.
>
>Is that a threat?
Maybe it means that no-one else knows what he's talking about.
>Screwtape,
>...poor Donald Welsh.
Gah, you're telling me. My finances are wrecked.
Screwtape
>Tom "Tom" Harrington wrote ...
>>From a remote bunker, Richard Fitzpatrick (fit...@webone.com.au)
>>issued the following manifesto:
>>> enforced study-leave. I'd even offer the buggery and bollocks,
>>> too - if I thought they'd help.
>>
>>I'll definitely pass on the former.
>
>Okay. I'm definitely not of the "don't knock it if you haven't tried it"
>school.
Man, did I ever misunderstand that. I thought "the former" referred to
"My commiserations and warmest wishes.." Passing on warmest wishes
seemed like a sensible thing to do at the time, though I wondered who
they'd be passed to.
Screwtape,
...life's never dull, with a mind like mine.
--
,------------------------------------------------- ------ ---- -- - - -
| Screwtape | Reply-To: is munged on Usenet | members.xoom.com/thristian
|--------------------------------------------- ---- ---- --- -- - - - -
|
| "Well, I don't know if it's kosher to type 'pico' at a hash prompt."
|
Cici in Texas
number of monkeys posting as Jason <jbea...@shadowknife.com> wrote:
>> > Pcak.
>>
>> I'm already here. Many more of these and I might have to employ a
>> Personal Usenet Secretary to handle all my calls.
>
>Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
>Do you have Olive Oil in a bottle?
>Is your refrigerator running?
>
>These and other fine jokes can be had at the expense of Mr. Jellyroll
>Papadopoulos by simply posting them in random newsgroups. Just place
>his name somewhere in the message, and PRESTO! he appears. Who needs a
>phone when such things as Usenet and grep exist?
I just want someone to explain to me, slowly and clearly, how
"grepping" is actually performed. Then I could finally find out if
I'm just paranoid or if people really *are* talking about me behind my
back. (And if they're not, why are they not?)
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <7ls2tt87i0e5pidni...@4ax.com>
Froom: Cici in Texas <ccl...@mindspring.com>
On: Sat, 2972 Sep 1993 07:51:38 -0500
________________________________________________________________________________
> I just want someone to explain to me, slowly and clearly, how
> "grepping" is actually performed.
Ctrl+G, then F1
Gordol
said:
; >phone when such things as Usenet and grep exist?
;
; I just want someone to explain to me, slowly and clearly, how
; "grepping" is actually performed. Then I could finally find out if
; I'm just paranoid or if people really *are* talking about me behind my
; back. (And if they're not, why are they not?)
Grep is a UNIX tool to find strings in files. Window's "Search" and
Mac's "Finder" do similar things. But being UNIX, it can be combined
with other tools to make it much, much more powerful.
News servers keep the news feed in plain flat ASCII files. This makes
them searchable with grep.
If you know the path(s) to the news spool(s) on the system you use, you
can use grep to find any arbitrary text string, such as "oregano",
"pcack" or "kibo". With the proper UNIX command line invocation, you
can even get it to launch a news reader to read and reply to the
message, or to send you an email so you can do so with tools that do
not work in that environment, such as a Windows based newsreader.
Similarly, Agent can do such a search within its own database. The
caveat there, of course, is that the message with the text string must
already be in Agent's database. If you have a kill filter on
something, such as the word "penis" in the subject line (taking
Jellyroll's example in that thread over yonder), then the message will
not be in Agent's database and therefor not searchable by Agent as you
cannot search something that isn't there.
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"We could pursue it and attempt to inquire." (Lennier, B5 "Ship of
Tears")
Cici in Texas
number of monkeys posting as t...@pcisys.no.spam.dammit.net (Tom "Tom"
Harrington) wrote:
>From a remote bunker, Gordol (postm...@gordol.org) issued the following manifesto:
>> While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Ian Davis said:
>
>> ; In article <smtp23624c133a.wibble@localhost>,
>> ; Jellyroll Papadopoulos <Never...@email.com> wrote:
>> ;
>> ; > Could someone remember to invoke me next time there is important
>> ; > news, please?
>> ; My budgie died this morning.
>
>> What's a budgie?
>
>"Budgie", translated from Limey to Merkin, means "Parakeet".
With a short, but dramatic pause at "budgerigar" along the way.
Actually, "budgerigar" is a native name in Australian, referring to a
small Australian parrot. (In the wild, they are usually light green
with yellow and black markings, but are bred in many colors under
domestication.)
"Parakeet" derives from the Spanish word 'periquito', which refers to
any of numerous parrots, usually small, slender birds with graduated
tails.
(I looked all this stuff up some time back just to settle an argument
with one of those Neanderthal types who wouldn't take a woman's word
for ANYTHING -- including things like the spelling of 'budgerigar'
and/or why there were two names for the same bird -- unless she could
quote "authoritative sources." By that time, I was ready to suggest
that he do something anatomically unlikely with his damn
"authoritative sources," which is probably why the whole incident
remains so vivid in my mind.)
Cici
Cici in Texas
number of monkeys posting as Ian Davis <Ian....@ludwig.edu.au>
wrote:
>Actually, I just like cockatiels.
>
>Ian.
If they're anything like Robert Blake's cockatiel in the old TV
program "Baretta," I don't blame you. That was one cool bird. Stole
every scene he was in, too.
--
Cici in Texas e-mail: cclovis at mindspring dot com
The best things in life are usually behind bulletproof glass.
Sid
>Also Sprach Viki:
>Massage: <9qpp6h$pipd5$1...@ID-35494.news.dfncis.de>
>Froom: "Viki" <vv...@netscape.net>
>On: Fri, 2971 Sep 1993 13:51:50 -0400
>________________________________________________________________________________
>> >I'm already late for work...again.
>>
>> This is a bad thing? I've been asked to be made late for work.
>I've been parsing that in my mind all night, and it still makes not
>one picoGwent of sense.
Me neither. Unless I read some of those words in hindi. Then it is very
funny.
Sid
--
Sid
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That's just profound.
Sid
--
There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make
it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other is to
make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies.
- Charles Anthony Richard Hoare
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <9qs9jc$qe1dt$2...@ID-81005.news.dfncis.de>
Froom: Sid <s...@siddhartha.8m.com>
On: 2972 Sep 1993 16:43:24 GMT
________________________________________________________________________________
> >you
> >cannot search something that isn't there.
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> That's just profound.
Yabbut only just.
Donald Welsh
>You cannot search something that isn't there.
But if you could, it wouldn't take much time.
Daniel E. Macks
Or three or four?
dan, whose bright red Siamese fihgting fishies fill in the most
obvious punchlines, milligram for milligram, of any second-rate comic
in the universe
--
Daniel Macks
dma...@sas.upenn.edu
dma...@netspace.org
http://www.netspace.org/~dmacks
Gordol
Papadopoulos said:
; Ctrl+G, then F1
Ah yessss... the mighty "effwun".
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"Then the world is wrong!" "And Delenn is right? Or perhaps the world
is right and Delenn is wrong, have you ever considered that, have
YOU!?!?" "Yes sometimes." "Then there may yet be hope for you." (Amb.
Delenn and Sebastian, B5 "Comes The Inquisitor")
Gordol
; >cannot search something that isn't there.
; ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
; That's just profound.
Yep. Right up there with "It was in the last place I looked."
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
Peter's Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord, #134.
If I am escaping in a large truck and the hero is pursuing me in a
small Italian sports car, I will not wait for the hero to pull up along
side of me and try to force him off the road as he attempts to climb
aboard. Instead I will slam on the brakes when he's directly behind me.
(A rudimentary knowledge of physics can prove quite useful.)
Richard Fitzpatrick
>Donald Welsh <dwe...@nospam.melbpc.org.au> said:
>>On Fri, 19 Oct 2001 05:12:24 GMT, Jellyroll Papadopoulos
>><Never...@email.com> wrote:
>>>Also Sprach Ian Davis:
>>>>
>>>
>>>I must be tired. That's a punchline. I know there's a joke
>>>in there. I just can't see it.
>>
>>Ask Viki.
>>
>>-- D. "I think she's seen a cockatoo." W.
>
>Or three or four?
No, no, no. That *was* the punchline. The lead up is some party in
Australia[1] - at Al's place, where the toilets are in short supply. A
Hindi lady named Marsoo asks where can she relieve herself. Someone asks
the host "Where can Marsoo pee, Al?"
Al replies "Out the back with the blokes - she's probably seen a cockatoo."
Thank you and good night.
Apologies to Austen Tayshus and any Strines whose ears are now bleeding.
Richard F.
[1] It just works better that way.
Donald Welsh
>While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Sid said:
>
>; >cannot search something that isn't there.
>; ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>; That's just profound.
>
>Yep. Right up there with "It was in the last place I looked."
Wherever you go, there you are.
-- D. "You're everywhere that I'm not." W.
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <3bd30ab4.920629@localhost>
Froom: dwe...@nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
On: Sun, 2973 Sep 1993 17:50:27 GMT
________________________________________________________________________________
> >; >cannot search something that isn't there.
> >; ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> >; That's just profound.
> >Yep. Right up there with "It was in the last place I looked."
> Wherever you go, there you are.
See a pin and pick it up, and all day long you'll have a pin.
Sid
>Also Sprach Donald Welsh:
>Massage: <3bd30ab4.920629@localhost>
>Froom: dwe...@nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
>On: Sun, 2973 Sep 1993 17:50:27 GMT
>________________________________________________________________________________
>> >; >cannot search something that isn't there.
>> >; ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>> >; That's just profound.
>> >Yep. Right up there with "It was in the last place I looked."
>> Wherever you go, there you are.
>See a pin and pick it up, and all day long you'll have a pin.
Unless you put it down.
In other news, I seem to be spitting blood.
Sid
--
If God had intended Men to Smoke, He would have put Chimneys in their Heads.
Daniel E. Macks
>>> >; ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>> >; That's just profound.
>>> >
>>> >Yep. Right up there with "It was in the last place I looked."
>>>
>>> Wherever you go, there you are.
>>
>>See a pin and pick it up, and all day long you'll have a pin.
>
>Unless you put it down.
Until you pick it (or another one) up again.
>In other news, I seem to be spitting blood.
Please stop.
>--
>If God had intended Men to Smoke, He would have put Chimneys in their Heads.
ITRA "Chimpanzees", and thought "well shit, I oughta take up smoking!"
dan, whose bright red Siamese fighting fishies have had enough of his
monkey business
TimC
> Jellyroll Papadopoulos muttered:
>
>>Also Sprach Donald Welsh:
>
>>Massage: <3bd30ab4.920629@localhost>
>>Froom: dwe...@nospam.melbpc.org.au (Donald Welsh)
>>On: Sun, 2973 Sep 1993 17:50:27 GMT
>>________________________________________________________________________________
>
>>> >; >cannot search something that isn't there.
>>> >; ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>>> >; That's just profound.
>
>>> >Yep. Right up there with "It was in the last place I looked."
>
>>> Wherever you go, there you are.
>
>>See a pin and pick it up, and all day long you'll have a pin.
>
> Unless you put it down.
>
> In other news, I seem to be spitting blood.
Well, you shouldn't have swallowed the pin, should you?
furrfu.
--
TimC -- http://www.physics.usyd.edu.au/~tcon/
Anyone seeking the "Relativistic Quantum Mechanics" soft option
course, may wish to leave now. -- Intro lecture to RQM
Donald Welsh
>In other news, I seem to be spitting blood.
For once, spitting is preferable to swallowing.
What the hell have you been eating? Did you decide to have a light
meal, and snack on a few 100W globes?
pieceoftheuniverse
>
>>In other news, I seem to be spitting blood.
>
>For once, spitting is preferable to swallowing.
I dunno. Whenever I'm bleeding from the mouth [1], I always swallow.
First of all, it makes me feel like a vampire ("I vant to suck my
blood"). And secondly, I figure that if I'm bleeding I can use all the
nutrition I can get.
It really sucks to have blood go down the wrong pipe, though.
>What the hell have you been eating? Did you decide to have a light
>meal, and snack on a few 100W globes?
Or needed something with a little kick, and thus insulted a martial
artist?
--
pieceoftheuniverse - who think that apples have something against him,
as they always make his gums cry out in pain.
[1] Which, fortunately, isn't very often.
Tracie
> While idly wondering if the Pakmara can really do that, Jellyroll
> Papadopoulos said:
>
> ; > You *are* tired, aren't you?
> ;
> ; And shagged out after a long squawk, yes.
> ;
> ; > You've even missed an invocation, you
> ; > sham-grepper you. Donald Welsh knows what I'm talking about.
> ;
> ; Shit! Where? Either my newsfeed or my regexp must be buggered. :-(
> ;
> ; > Actually, I just like cockatiels.
> ;
> ; Fried or boiled?
>
> Sauteed.
>
With Oreg**thwap**
OW! Sorry.
Tracie
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <b704121b.01102...@posting.google.com>
Froom: tklost...@unl.edu (Tracie)
On: 2974 Sep 1993 10:41:11 -0700
________________________________________________________________________________
> With Oreg**thwap**
TINO**thwap**
Viki
snip...
>>
>>I must be tired. That's a punchline. I know there's a joke in
there. I
>>just can't see it.
>
>Ask Viki.
Why, cause I get *whoosh*ed all the time?
>
>-- D. "I think she's seen a cockatoo." W.
Oh, right. Nevermind.
Viki, who doesn't kiss and tell [1]
[1] if I said, "No pun intended" would you believe me?
Viki
>Also Sprach Viki:
>
>Massage: <9qpp6h$pipd5$1...@ID-35494.news.dfncis.de>
>Froom: "Viki" <vv...@netscape.net>
>On: Fri, 2971 Sep 1993 13:51:50 -0400
>________________________________________________________________
________________
>
>> >I'm already late for work...again.
>>
>> This is a bad thing? I've been asked to be made late for work.
>
>I've been parsing that in my mind all night, and it still makes
not
>one picoGwent of sense.
>
You've never had a sweet Significant Other ask you to make them
late for work in the morning with a little of the, you know,
WWNNSNM...?
I have.
Viki maybe it's cause you are male and I'm not
Viki
>
>In other news, I seem to be spitting blood.
Sweetie! Get thee to a doctor or a dentist at least...
Viki, concerned
dave...@spamcop.net
> On Sat, 20 Oct 2001 13:30:04 GMT, Gordol <postm...@gordol.org> wrote:
>>You cannot search something that isn't there.
> But if you could, it wouldn't take much time.
On the contrary - "On a clear disk, you can seek forever..."
Dave "I'm sure nobody here remembers me" Hinz
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <9r1s89$q4d67$1...@ID-35494.news.dfncis.de>
Froom: "Viki" <vv...@netscape.net>
On: Mon, 2974 Sep 1993 15:32:54 -0400
________________________________________________________________________________
> >> >I'm already late for work...again.
> >>
> >> This is a bad thing? I've been asked to be made late for work.
> >
> >I've been parsing that in my mind all night, and it still makes not
> >one picoGwent of sense.
> You've never had a sweet Significant Other ask you to make them
> late for work in the morning with a little of the, you know,
> WWNNSNM...?
Yeah, but even in the hot flush of post-coital paralysis she's never
been able to mangle grammar *that* much. Your SO must be quite
something.
> I have.
Yup, on Fri, 19 Oct 2001 just before 13:51:50 -0400.
> Viki maybe it's cause you are male and I'm not
I hope it's because I'm male and Mrs. Papadopoulos is not. I'm sure
I'd have noticed otherwise. I'm a gentleman.
Jellyroll Papadopoulos
Massage: <3bd496a8$0$30976$272e...@news.execpc.com>
Froom: dave...@spamcop.net
On: 2974 Sep 1993 21:59:04 GMT
________________________________________________________________________________
> Dave "I'm sure nobody here remembers me" Hinz
How's it going, Dave?
Jason
>
> Also Sprach Viki:
<snip>
> > Viki maybe it's cause you are male and I'm not
>
> I hope it's because I'm male and Mrs. Papadopoulos is not. I'm sure
> I'd have noticed otherwise. I'm a gentleman.
And you may say to yourself,"This is not my beautiful car"
And you may say to yourself,"This is not my beautiful wife"
--
Game theory boils down to a triplet of simple rules.
One: your best possible strategy is to cooperate; you win maximally.
Two: a poor, but serviceable, strategy is to treat your partner as a
potential enemy--assume that he might do you in and so take
countermeasures.
Three: your worst possible strategy is to cooperate; you get wiped
out.
Gordol
said:
; >; >cannot search something that isn't there.
; >; ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
; >; That's just profound.
; >
; >Yep. Right up there with "It was in the last place I looked."
; Wherever you go, there you are.
Ever notice how no one has ever seen me and Donald Trump in the same
place together?
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"No, we need him alive for now. There are other ways." (Mr. Morden,
B5 "Interludes and Examinations")
Gordol
; >See a pin and pick it up, and all day long you'll have a pin.
;
; Unless you put it down.
;
; In other news, I seem to be spitting blood.
That can't be good. You didn't swallow the pin, did you?
--
Jeffrey Kaplan
gor...@gordol.org <*> I'm set up for PGP. Are you?
The World does not necessarily agree with my opinions.
"Who would believe it. The great and powerful Londo Mollari, got his
job because no one else was stupid enough to take it." (G'Kar, B5
"Dust To Dust")