Intensive Weekend Mission

[william...@my-dejanews.com]

Age has dulled my memory and I can't seem to recall what needs to be
brought along. All I can remember is the standard list... flash light,
outdoor clothes, writing materials and reference books... Any other ideas?
Equipment? There must be some new gee-gaws out there that we all can't love
without... -- William Donovan

-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own

[sir_mauric...@my-dejanews.com]

Hiho there old boy--

In response to your message:

I'm sure you meant to inquire about equipment one "can't LIVE without..." In
the field, the fine agents on the right side of the Atlantic wouldn't imagine
attempting any sort of mission without a "celly." As Mansfield Cummings, the
ever-indomitable "C," would profess after a tipple or two from his never
empty hip flask, "It is absolutely critical that agents have and maintain
portable communication with their support network at all times during a
mission."

At your service,

--Sir Maurice Oldfield

In article <7gird0$p23$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,

[ronald...@my-dejanews.com]

Every mission is unique, of course. But I've found an Electric Pick Gun to
be invaluable. You can do it the old way, but minutes are precious. And the
years I spent in warmer climes taught me the importance of bringing a volume
of collected Mayan Myths. -- Ronald Pelton

[robert...@my-dejanews.com]

Two things come to mind immediately: a one pound sack of cement screws, and
the complete attributed writings of Siddhartha. Certainly much more is needed,
but these invariably go unthought of until it is too late. Much too late.

R. Lipka

[william...@my-dejanews.com]

All, What a cacophony of gadgetry! I turn my head for what seems a minute...
Anyway, I do plan to bring a device that will render audible that which is
encoded on a standard Compact Disc. I am told that this is absolutely
neccessary in these times. Whatever happened to the trusty 78 rpm acetate?
My standard list includes plenty of water and caffeine, of course. I'm sure
everybody has their own favorite tonic or potion, "plenty of it" is all I'll
say to that.

I remain, William Donovan

[robert...@my-dejanews.com]

I never feel secure without a pen that can write under water. And, of course,
grade 80 sandpaper.

R. Lipka

[sir_mauric...@my-dejanews.com]

Listening to my colleagues reminisce about past jaunts does stir the youthful
memory of my time stationed in Mallorca--a regular den of thieves! In
particular I remember the advice of a special friend, who in her delightful
way, would cavort about topless as all the local nublinas in the Spanish
isles do in the summer. She had one piece of advice when she figured out I
was not the charming Herr Skopter, Sausage Importer/Exporter. And even after
all these years, I can hear her lisping Spanish in my ear as she kicked me
from her bed, "Senor, you should alwayth bring una toalla y un cambio de
ropa."

Still,
Sir Maurice Oldfield

In article <7gmd1c$p07$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>,

[Red Leader]

In our experience, secret agent work never goes smoothly without a
semaphore codebook, a dozen white hankies and a spare gas can.....

We have also found a reliable dingo proves invaluable, but this could
be argued as a personal fettish and thus non-essential.

Red Leader

[sha...@patmos.cs.berkeley.edu]

All this reminicsing is groovy, baby. On our past jaunts, we wouldn't
have made it, heh, heh, without the use of
the excellent sweedish made penis enlarger.

http://www.hollywoodwebshop.com/gifts/austin.htm#enlarger

-Shagadelic

[BDHolman]

If this Weekend Mission is truly Intensive, my sincerest advice is to avoid
zippers. Avoid buttons. Avoid things that tie or loop or twist or dangle.
There's no time for fiddling with such trivialities! Concentrate on the tasks
at hand! Snaps and elastic, people. Oh, and bring toothpaste and deodorant.
Trust me on this one.

This information brought to you by the fiendly folks at WIDOW, fulfilling all
of your secret-brokering needs since April. All information is available to the
highest bidder. Bulk discounts cheerfully given. Chinese buyers welcome.

Wholesale Information Distributors, Operatives Worldwide

[ronald...@my-dejanews.com]

Since you do mention spare gas and a dingo, I
wonder if it was you that time deep in the Outback.
I watched you through my Leica Televid Spotting
Scope as you sat there reading your semaphore
book waiting for help.

IF so, I did notice that your vehicle was not
equipped with the proper run-flat tires. I
wouldn't make that mistake again.

In article <3730A476...@Red5.org>,

-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------

[robert...@my-dejanews.com]

Sounds like you're the type who doesn't need to be
reminded to carry a 6 months supply of
pornography and personal lubricant.

-Lipka

In article <7gqkso$hft$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,

sha...@patmos.cs.berkeley.edu wrote:
> All this reminicsing is groovy, baby. On our past jaunts, we wouldn't
> have made it, heh, heh, without the use of
> the excellent sweedish made penis enlarger.
>
> http://www.hollywoodwebshop.com/gifts/austin.htm#enlarger
>
> -Shagadelic
>

[Know Nothings]

Aaaahhh....fun and Games. What gentleman or undercover agent would leave
home without a trusty mustalid, a large pair of bolt cutters, a bar-b-que
and 6 dozen carbonated beverages. We have found the mustalid especially
handy in getting into those hard to reach places.

-red

**** Posted from RemarQ - http://www.remarq.com - Discussions Start Here (tm) ****

[william...@my-dejanews.com]

If your mustalid is anything like mine, it likes nothing more than to get into
trouble--especially if there are small shiny objects involved. My eyesight is
not what it used to be and I have to pull out the trusty magnifying glass to
resolve what my little Franklin has hidden beneath the sofa. I'm often
surprised at the details you miss when you don't have one handy.

Yours,
-W. Donovan

In article <f0iY2.3504$4S.2296838@WReNphoon3>,

-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------

[Wen Ho Lee]

You know, I do believe I am at a loss as to the nature of this mustalid of
which you speak. Is this the lid you put on the jar where you keep your
musta's, like I musta forgot, I musta dropped that at the last rendezvous
spot, and I musta left my 9V battery, lemons (Citron and sugar are optional),
axe, and 64 oz. bottle of vinegar at home. I musta advise that you keep this
jar as empty as possible to ensure your success. Best of luck!

--Wen Ho Lee, aka Colonel Musta-rd

In article <7gt5vb$q0u$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,

[sir_mauric...@my-dejanews.com]

Your Mustalid musings have reminded me of one more preciouse memory I took
away from sun-drenched Spain. "Cuando yo necessito cruzar el rio, y no se
como, yo siempre pienso sobre la armada - que magnifico las gomabotas!"

Yet again,

--Sir Maurice Oldfield

[sir_mauric...@my-dejanews.com]

Such a calumny! The name of Oldfield, treacherously mocked-up with this
numeral-laden imposter! Technology and the blackest arts are e'er-
entwined, I suppose.

My man tracked this missive to the doors of a Toyon Hall, room 305.
"But even that's unreliable, innit" he smirked as he reported to me. So
it is. So is everything.

This reminds me of another neccessity I've always brought along, one
that thankfully requires neither information flow nor electricity: A
short, versatile, serrated blade with handle. Usually known as a
"hacksaw" in the states. I've used it with success to sever plastic,
wood, and even braided network cable.

Ever yours,
Sir Maurice Oldfield

In article <7gu0sb$g9r$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,

--== Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ ==--
---Share what you know. Learn what you don't.---

[william...@my-dejanews.com]

My dear man,

That's absolutely appalling. Unfortunately I do remember
another entry in the list of neccessary evils: a common
pair of headphones, much like you might find on a walkman
or discman or whatever other perpetual-dazed-expression-man
I'm always buying for my grandchildren.

Hold the fort,
Donovan

In article <7h7kou$m4l$1...@nnrp1.deja.com>,

[ronald...@my-dejanews.com]

You're all old... I like electronics. Take my metal detector, so handy
in the flatlands. And that hand-held deep sea fishin' game. Makes
stakeouts more bearable. At least bring two decks of cards, that way
you can play "grump".

--Ronald Pelton